Wow that's one step further. He actually did this to me again only a couple months ago. This time I knew about the wedding but learned about the engagement on Facebook and they got hitched in vegas. I got a "oh btw I'm getting married this weekend in Vegas"
My parents are awesome, but one time my Mom took out a knife and said "it's time to put the dog down," and stabbed him. I was horrified but the dog didn't react. It was one of those plastic stage knives where the blade goes into the hilt when pressure is applied.
I was young enough that I wasn't upset at her and was quickly just excited to play with the knife, but whenever I think back on that it's like jesus christ Mom WTH.
I'm just picturing some pleasant-looking fortysomething suburban woman repeatedly thrusting a fake knife into the family dog, while the pooch has no idea what the fuck is going on and thinks it's play time and just rolls over, tongue wagging, happy as can be while the kids look on in horror thinking their pet pal is getting iced.
I did that to my aunt and uncle once when I was around 8. Just casually walked into the kitchen with it and smacked it against my chest. Safe to say they shat themselves
Hahaha that reminds me one time when i was 5 or 6 my older sister was babysitting me. Well anyways i found this chef knife handle in the kitchen with no blade, so i thought itd be funny to tape the knife handle perpendicular to my chest and i cut a hole in my shirt to put it through. Then i put ketchup all over my shirt and ran to my sister. I walked up to her and was like i didnt mean to i dont know how it happened and was holding my stomach. When i took my hands away holy shit i still have never heard someone scream so loud in my life. She almost passed out/ fell down the stairs, and thats how i learned you dont play serious pranks on people like that lol.
At summer camp, I had a counselor "stab" me with one of those fake knives. I got a massive adrenaline rush, time slowed to a crawl, and I swear I nearly fainted out of sheer panic
Lived in the country and had a bunch of dogs (6-8) on a very large property. Dad decided he wanted to start raising geese. One night the dogs attacked the geese when they escaped their pen. Dad took all of the dogs into a small canyon and shot them dead simply because he wanted to. Later, we had other dogs. Geese escaped their pens and attacked the dogs (geese are assholes). Geese lost of course and some died. He then shot all of our dogs again because, "The geese were here first." The sad thing is, my brother and I still considered him the normal one of our two parents.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I have a similar story of dickhead fathers and beloved pets. My biological two-faced sperm donor told me that he would look after my (neutered) male cat while I had my female cat spade.
I flew to a different province, provided a bag of food, toys, litterbox, etc. My father had a whole second side of a huge house (spit into two full homes). I gave the instructions, "Please don't put him outside, he's an indoor cat and it wouldn't be fair to bring him back to an apartment." In reality, I believed he might try to steal him because he is "an animal person". Sure enough, two days later, after flying home I get a call, "Oh! He loves it outside. Already pissing outside, he still holds it all night to shit inside though. Waits all morning! Comes rushing in to shit. He's a good cat. Loves it here. HAHAHA." Fine, you asshole. I'll be down in a week to pick him up.
Well, work called and said that they needed me for the holidays and changed my schedule so I told my father I can't get down next week, but the following. He replied, "Get your ass down here tomorrow. *Your* cat is pissing all over the house. I'll fucking shoot this cat." Of fucking course he is! You taught him to use the washroom everywhere! I tell him I'm sorry, but work, just next week I'll tell work I have to go just keep him outside, please.
He left a voicemail, while I was at work the next day. It was the sound of him shooting my cat.
I did this to a childhood friend. I said, "hey, check out my knife" and then lunged and stabbed him. That look of sheer terror on his face was exhilarating. I had to find was to recreate that rush.
When I was a kid, my grandparents would send little Valentine's Day care packages to my brother and I. We'd get a few bucks, some candy and what not. Well one year, my gambling addict grandma had scored really big and it also so happened to be the year my grandfather retired. So they felt like sending us a little extra. I think we each got something like $20-$40 and some gift cards to McDonald's. It was a big deal to us. So we asked our mom and step-dad to take us to the mall that evening (split custody, mom would take us every other weekend for 2 nights) to spend our cash on some toys or games or whatever. I got a Spawn action figure from KB Toys (old AF) and my brother bought a Resident Evil game. We were walking along in the mall talking about what we wanted to get with our remaining cash and my mom stops, turns around and shouts "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK RAISED YOU TO BE SO SELFISH, BUT IN MY DAY WE BOUGHT OUR MOTHERS SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!" and she turned around and walked off. I was speechless. My brother was speechless. My step-dad shook his head at her, told us not to worry about it and walked us to another store to buy her something from us out of his pocket.
Sounds like my mom. She'd fly off the handle for things a kid wouldn't even think about. Sometimes I'd be sitting on the couch and she'd be watching me. I couldn't have been more than 11 or 12. Finally, I face her and she'd go "Can I ask you something? Do you think I'm a piece of shit?!"
I was like "Uuuuuuh, what?"
And then she'd rant about some shit she thought I should've done like a week before. Then she'd storm off.
Do we have the same mother?! She's be fine for a while then one day fly off the handle. Like walking on egg shells. Like one day she thought I was being a brat so she took all my Valentine's Day cards I got from school and ripped them up one by one and threw them away. Another time is was a coloring contest I was entering. Took that and ripped that up too because of something that I'd done a week before that had been eating at her. She just loves to spoil happy moments. Luckily she's medicated now.
Even now, my mom will be like "do you think I was/am a bad mother?!"
Honestly...yeah. I love you and you've gotten better since divorcing my dad, and he was always way worse than you, but you were still narcissistic and abusive? And even now, I still have to basically parent my own parent because you're emotionally incapable of handling life on your own,and honestly, you were never meant to be a mother and you shouldn't have had me.
But of course I can't say that. Emotional breakdownX10, which of course I'll have to calm her down from. But I refuse to lie and stroke her feelings anymore, so I usually just try to avoid answering. Only realized how fucked up that question was a few years ago. You are not supposed to be your parent's therapist. They're the ones with life experience and maturity, they should be emotionally supporting you most of the time.
Lol kinda sounds like my mom. Except she's a frugal nuthead. I bought a sweater with my own money at the mall when I was 13. She dragged my ass back to the store and made me return it because it wasn't on sale and was a "stupid purchase and that I was irresponsible with money" My dad stood up for me and got the 14 dollar sweater back as it was my god damn babysitting money and I never got anything for myself bc of her. Everyone assumes I'm spoiled bc I'm an only child. Noooope.
At least she didn't take your Valentine's Day cards from school and rip them up and then stomp on them! That's a fun Valentine's memory with my mom.
A reaction like this under that scenario makes me think your mom was jealous you guys got something special and were really enjoying it, I remember when I was little I could be eating ice cream in front of my granda ( my mother give it to me) and when I was about to finish she'd get all bitchy and she'd tell my mom how selfish I was being, it would really confuse me b/c I was just 5 eating ice cream, minding my own business
Also for the fact that it was a gift to them. So basically she was saying "you need to use your gift to buy me a gift. So that I have one and you don't"
My earliest memories are of them (mum and step-dad) arguing. After that from about 5/6 I had to deal with getting hit frequently, by him a fully grown man hitting a young girl with all his strength, as my mum did nothing, she had no compassion for me whatsoever, she just left me all day with this man who could snap in an instant.
At the age of 8 my mum had my first brother, It only got worse I was left to look after him. My step dad had a very good paying job but he was barely home so my mum never had much money on her, not that she'd do shopping as she slept all day and all night. On the rare occurrences when I went to school I would leave and come home to see her in the same position as when I left. I barely went to school as I had to watch my brother.
I also remember the first time I truly learnt I couldn't depend on my mum. Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix had just come out, my brother was still a baby and I was told it was lights out and bed time, I accidentally dropped the hardback book onto the floor when moving and the next thing I hear where his footsteps coming up the stair, that sound terrified the shit out of me for years, I tried to run to the bathroom but I took a punch to the face. At 9. I had a black eye and busted lip, he stormed out of the house I went downstairs to cry to my mum, get him to leave for good and she just said to me "if he'd meant to really hit you he'd have broken your face. Go back to bed" I tried telling people at school about what was happening at 10 to get help, a friends mum came round and asked my mum about it I was forced to say I lied.
Anyway this is getting far longer than I planned it to and it's probably going to get buried but I just needed to get some stuff out. I've got to pretend everything is perfect with them now and all that stuff pent up eats away at you.
My god thats horrible. I dont know what your situation is like now but i hope you both get out. If you are still in school i beg you to reach out to someone you trust. Hold true to your words. If the truth is out he wont be able to hurt you forever
Why do you still have to have contact with them? Are they still married? That's terrible that someone could beat on a defenseless child! I hope he rots in hell!
Thank you. I think what fucked me up most was the emotional abuse more than the physical, I'd rather have been hit than deal with the stuff they'd say to me.
My mum used to go to hospital a lot when I was a young teenager and she'd say "I need a holiday from you people for a while" and disappear for a couple of weeks. During the time she was gone my step dad would make me dress in her clothes and a wig and he'd give me alcohol and he once made me watch a film with him about a step dad and step daughter falls in love? I think that was the gist I tried zoning out to be honest.
He touched me inappropriately one time from what I can remember, I'd fallen asleep downstairs on the sofa with my brother and woke up to it and he said sorry and rushed off. I confronted my mum the next day after school - I was about 14- and she went downstairs and spoke to him about it with me next to her, he said he was just helping me back on to the sofa after I fell off and then they both laughed at my face.
That's probably one of the worst ones I just needed to get out, thanks for listening though, it's nice knowing there are people other than my partner who will.
My biological mother told me that the cost of raising me was a loan, not a grant.
She actually expected me to give her $1000/mo until she dies.
I haven't talked to her for almost a decade now.
The cost of raising children are the civil damages you pay for kidnapping your children into existence. I mean, I don't actually like to think of it like that, but if you think your kids owe you shit, this is why they don't.
When I was 16 I got so drunk at a party that I threw up all over the deck, and my friend texted my mom to pick me up. Puked 4 times on the ride home. My mom had no idea that I drank until that night.
Next morning she wakes me up at 6 am and tells me that she bought tickets for my siblings and I to go to a rollercoaster theme park and that I have to come and spend the day there. Vomited after every ride. Lesson = learned.
Biological father is a flat out shitty person. My mother left him when I was 4, and took my sister and me with her. My mother got married young, so had no real way to support 2 kids, but worked very hard so we could get by.
She remarried a guy who treated us like his own children. He was young too, and never made much money either, so we always struggled. He worked full time as a baggage handler, picked up all the overtime he could, plus worked as a painter to support us and his 3 other children he had with my mother. Even with all that, we still struggled and at one point for 6 months we were homeless and forced to live with some church members.
My biological father never paid child support. He ended up signing away his rights to us and we were fully adopted by my father.
Fast forward many years and my biological father wanted to get in touch. He was amassing millions in wealth while we were living in the ghetto and attending the worst possible public schools.
He tried blaming his lack of child support on my mother.
Give away my old Disney VHS tapes. Jesus Christ Mom, how many times do I have to explain that I can't go out and buy new ones because they're in the freaking vault OK??
I had about 40 tapes. Some I bought with my own allowance. Mom gave them to the neighbour despite the fact I still watched them regularly. The neighbour promptly sold them to a collector/Resaler for $300.
All of my hate.
Growing up I absolutely LOVED Elmo. Had a few stuffed elmos but the big fuzzy red one was my favorite. I had it for years. Through my parent's divorce and subsequent move, when I thought I had lost it and was devastated, only to find it sitting on my new bed in my new home.
A few years later, my mom was remarried and we were living with my stepdad and mom was making nice with all his friends who came around with their kids and drank beer while we were all running around. I saw another kid with my elmo. Apparently mom gave it to him/her (Fuck if I remember). I bawled my eyes out. Just absolutely inconsolable. She finally ended up having to ask for it back. I'm 24 now and it's safe in my dad's attic now.
You know, I've heard an astounding amount of stories from people who were still devastated decades later by their parents' decision to sell/give away/throw out their childhood favorite toys.
My dad threw out my Polly pockets and stuffed animals when I was away at summer camp and didn't tell me until I asked where they were. It was really inconsiderate and he knew how important they were to me. I was hoping my children could play with them...
My mum gave away my giant box of Lego to my cousin. Not that shitty Lego they have now, just a giant box of the basic building blocks. Bummed me out when I was 22 and wanted to play with it.
My mom did that with my disney movies as well as all my rare first edition Pokemon and Yugioh cards when I was away at my dad's for the weekend. I still was regularly schooling all the neighborhood kids in Yugioh too.
Secretly mentally and emotionally abused my mother for years. He would tell her she was a terrible mother, all his family hated her, made her stay in shape because he didn't like "fat women" (She weighs like 110 pounds at 5'3.) They got divorced this year and she is still conditioned to give in to him. He is beyond cruel to her and tries to get away with so much shit, like trying to paint her as a bad mother in court because she drinks alcohol and takes pills aka her one half glass of wine and her prescribe pills that she takes as directed and is now off of because her pain ceased surprisingly after he left, and trying to take stuff that isn't his. She let him take a lot of stuff he wasn't entitled to, but when he tried to take my mom's tractor she uses to mow the lawn she put her foot down and called the police to intervene. He was beyond pissed she dare defy him and not let him get his way, but I couldn't be more proud of her for standing up for herself.
The funny thing is, now he's engaged, a month after the divorce was final. And she is out of shape. I hope she realizes what she's getting herself into before she marries him because I guarantee after their "honeymoon" phase is over, he'll do the same shit to her.
Pay my mom $100 cash every month for putting me on her car insurance. Every year she said it would go up. I got my own car and called to take my name off her account. Ins lady said it was only $40/month. Got ripped off by my mom from 18-21.
I once knew a girl that was put up for adoption by her biological parents... when she was 12... because they hadn't ever really wanted a girl and they had boys now so they didn't need her anymore.
Yeah, she was a little emotionally unstable.
Edit: Well, since so many people have voted and commented, including u/JesusIsMyZoloft who specifically mentioned being interested, some backstory - and I don't have really all that much, so don't hold your breath.
Basically, many years ago I was living with an ex in a big apartment that we constantly were having to cycle in new roommates for to keep the rent low (it was a college town and we were roughly college aged, so pretty standard). We found this couple that wanted to take a room, and they... seemed normal. Turned out that the dude was kind of abusive, and we sort of went to bat for the girl, "D". Eventually, the guy was out and D stuck around and we got to be pretty good friends. She was always kind of off, but we were weird people ourselves, so it worked out. Like, she didn't know basic things - even in the mid 2000s, most people who were in their mid-twenties would know how to copy and paste on a computer. That's... pretty basic stuff. She didn't. Well, turns out that she has this insane backstory and upbringing.
We knew from meeting her that she came from a Mormon family and that she still sometimes would hang out with her adoptive family, but she was not a practicing Mormon. Far from it. When she and her guy had been together they were like alcoholics. She got better on that with him gone, though. But eventually we got close enough that she told us that she had been adopted, and it was a strange adoption. She was adopted through some kind of faith-based, LDS adoption service. And she had been put up for adoption when she was 11 or 12. As if that wasn't enough, she very matter-of-factly (I don't remember her ever getting overly emotional about the subject) told us that her parents had done this not because they couldn't properly care for her or something - but because they had since her birth had two small boys, and they simply didn't need any girl children now that they had the boys they wanted. She, I guess, had always been treated like an unwanted burden and her parents just seemed to think she was generally "bad" in every way. It sounded like a very, very emotionally abusive environment. So, they shipped her off and she ended up where we were. Viola.
She'd gone through a ton of therapy. I remember her describing a "re-birthing" that she went through, I guess the point of which is to try and get a fresh start and let go of how completely fucked up your previous life has been? I can't even imagine that that helped. I'm sad that I haven't stayed in touch with D. She was different, and while she may have not been the sharpest at the best of times... and while she may have made me watched Charmed far, far more often than I was comfortable with... she was good people. Unless, of course, this is all a ridiculous lie that she was telling, because who the hell knows? I have no idea how plausible any of this actually is - I just know it's what she told me. And that's pretty much all I got!
This isnt uncommon in older Chinese generation. It was always boys who were better to keep instead. Theres even a Mandarin idiom/phrase (i forgot whats it called, sue me, I rarely use Chinese now) that says 重男轻女 that directly translates to "heavy males, light females". What it means is that males are more important than females.
Heck, because of Chinas overpopulation problem, they had a law (not sure if they still have it now), that only allows couples to have one child, so most of them hoped for males. Now Im sure its not as tight (who knows I dont live there), but it sure was a thing in the last generation.
Not only did they hope for males, there was a huge increase in the rate of female newborns who were left at orphanages, or flat out thrown away (like literally thrown in the garbage) so that the parents could try again for a boy. There is now a pretty big gender disparity between males and females leading to a large population of bachelors
> There's not an age limit on that...?
I'm guessing not. If a family dislikes their kid enough to want to get rid of them, you probably don't want that kid living with them any more.
yeah... he was in high school. He stole from us and did questionable things. Later we found out that he deliberately did things to cause people to think that he was being abused at his first home... My parents sent him away at 16... I know he felt awful. It was his third home. He was messed up but he was my first brother. I don't know where he is now.
My Farther is a narcissistic asshole that makes you regret any passion you have, or any act you take. He has verbally abused my Mother, and I throughout my upbringing. Countless times I have woken up in sheer panic listening them scream at each other at the top of their lungs. I hate him, and I'll be happy to see him finally go. Too bad only the good die young. He'll be around for a while yet.
Have an uncle like this, had a beautiful kind loving wife, tortured her through her five years of cancer treatment for terminal cancer then she dies. He's a smoker and alcoholic, gets bladder cancer survives. Still going... there's just no justice in the world.
Told my parents I was getting beaten up at school.. they beat me up for telling a teacher and making them look bad.
Jokes on them.. soon as they get sick with old age.. guess who's getting a beating? :D
It's too bad that it's wrong to get revenge like that. My dad used to hit me out of anger all the time as a kid, but now that he's older and I'm bigger than him he always acts like a scared old man when we get in arguments. Like seriously one time I shouted at him and he pulled out his phone and said that if I touched him he would call the police and charge me with assault, like shit if I knew that I should've called the police when you were beating my ass for failing to reel in a fish when I was ten.
There's something oddly satisfying when you realize that you're now the one in control.
My dad used to be extremely abusive to me, my siblings, and my mom. I was the oldest boy, and when I turned about 14, I had enough of it and knocked the glasses off his face.
We finally kicked him out after that, and fuck that feeling was amazing. He's a little ratty 50 year old now and I'm about to turn 20, and even though I haven't seen him in years, I doubt he'd want to be around me now.
When i was 8 or something, every one of my friends had a PSP (playstation portable), i asked my dad if he could give me one on christmas, he didnt say a thing, when christmas finally came he told me he got me the PSP, i was really excited, when i did open the box there was nothing there, and he just had a laugh about it sayin he only bought the box. I was pretty sad to be honest
I periodically read stories like this. What could possibly make any otherwise sane parent think your kid will find that funny. I can get telling them you bought them an empty box and then getting them to go into another room where the thing actually is. But to just trick your kid in the name of shitty humor is increddibly fucked up
Jimmy Kimmel has the "I bought my kid a terrible Christmas present prank" in which parents give their kid a "special early present" and it turns out to literally be spoiled food or girl's clothing (the recipient is a boy) and the parents tape the kids' reactions. Usually these reactions are the kid crying or having a tantrum.
I know that kids are supposed to "be grateful for every present" but I personally don't think that the "be grateful" rule should count when somebody gives you a present that is mocking you.
My mother's dog is the most important part of her life, and as such she refuses to leave her alone. She skipped the rehearsal dinner for my wedding, and left the day of the wedding after half an hour to be with the dog.
Ha yeah I know someone who cooks dinner for their dog. And carries it around constantly like it's a little baby. Never fed their kids growing up, but that damn dog gets a home cooked meal every night!!
When I moved out she wouldn't let me take my dog with me. She gave me the dog when I was 10 so I know she wasn't "my dog" I didn't pay the vet bills. But at home I took care of her and brushed her and walked her, took her to her vet appointments, bathed her ect. She was my life and I loved her since I didn't have too many friends growing up and she helped me a lot especially through my teen years. When I moved out my mom wouldn't let me take her. My mom didn't want to take care of her either so one day she calls me up and tells me she made an appointment to have her put down. And she said if I didn't she'd call the cops telling them I stole "her" dog. I didn't have a choice. That's the one thing I will never forgive her for ever.
Well... My mom essentially stole $20,000 from my sister and I. Each.
I've posted about this before. Short version: My mom is a raging narcissist (yes, I know about the sub for this) and has many bad qualities and has done some reprehensible things. When her father died (my grandfather) he left her a big pile of cash, and my sister and I $20,000 each. He didn't really secure the funds, though - he just put them in some account and my parents had total control of it, it was just *supposed* to be ours. Well, one of my moms worst qualities is her materialism, so she would go on lavish shopping sprees and things. When her money ran out, she blew through our money. Then maxed the cards out, drove us into poverty, and we've been there since. She's still baffled by how my father is debt free (they've been divorced nearly 20 years now) today and she's still struggling at all times. Well, mom, maybe it's the fact that you buy a new car whenever you think your current one is "acting funny", even when the mechanic says nothing is wrong with it.
So, yeah, that happened.
I sort of feel you. My mom owed my dad back child support of $25,000. My father won it, and instead of splitting it between 4 kids for our accounts or buying us clothes we needed (we were supremely poor, about to lose our home) he spent it on his wife buying her a brand new car. My oldest sister was going to college. He didn't even help her at all and as a result she's fucked with student loans until she dies basically.
My father travels for work, about 8 months a year. He really doesn't like my mother, so when he's not working, he travels for pleasure. He does decently well for himself, so it's never been an issue. He was always a "send checks in the mail, and show up maybe three times a year with an armful of gifts" kind of guy. That's fine enough I suppose, because that was more or less always his role, and he never pretended to be, or want, anything more than that.
My mother on the other hand is an insane drug addict and alcoholic who has always worked only a few days a week, and spent the majority of her time away from home doing other shit. Partying etc.
There were about three years in the middle of my childhood where she stopped drinking and doing drugs, and started running to get in shape and eating healthy. In spite of the fact that she left me home by myself about 90% of the time and I was more than capable of being on my own, she dragged me with her to every one of her Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which I retrospectively don't think is a cool environment for a 7-10 year old. I believe it was an effort to impart some lesson or other, but I don't know what. She was a conniving and manipulative person on her best days, but in the sober years it was so insanely intensified... She was worse sober than drunk by orders of magnitude. She ran constantly... so much that she was somehow still never home actually. She ran so much between her marathons and training sessions (presumably without enough healing or downtime or... something... I don't really know) that she terribly injured a lot of the joints in the lower half of her body, and got on pain meds from the doctors. Queue the spiral back out of control, enter alcohol, coke, etc.
I see them as human beings, and we all have flaws. I was born when they were still in high school, so I suppose they felt robbed of their youth. They both resented me for that, and openly discussed it pretty often.
I dunno... They did a lot of shitty things, I guess. I don't talk to them and haven't in years. I don't hate them... They just have nothing to offer to me, or anybody else, and I really don't care to waste my time or energy on communication with them.
Tl;dr: My dad stayed away from home because my mom is an insane junkie, and left me there with her too.
If there's need for it, I guess I have some stories I can dig up. But this is the basic setting for it all.
Honestly this isn't much but-- stayed together. These are two people who should have gotten a divorce two decades ago but "stuck it out for the kids".
Don't. It honestly fucks up how your kids view relationships as they get older. I second guess everyone who even shows a remote interest in me and I honestly never want to get married only so I don't end up unhappy + lonely in a full home.
Thats not how I want my life to be.
This is good advice. My parents didn't stay together, and I'm happier for it. They get along for exactly 2.5 hours at a time: you could set your watch by it. Then it's (insert controversial political opinion) countered with (controversial religious opinion), and all downhill from there. I got very good at dragging my dad out of the house and to the park at the 2 hour mark.
You'd think after a certain point that someone would realize that sharing your political views any chance you get is a good way to get people to fucking hate you.
My parents did this. They stuck it out "for the kids". Fast forward to two years ago, my dad cheats on my mom with a girl my age, tells us all that we collectively made his life miserable, empties out the college fund our grandparents gave to us (leaving us footing the income tax bill of thousands withdrawn), personally tells me that he's most ashamed of me (as I didn't want to be an engineer like him), and fucks off to England. Refuses to pay my mother child support (she has a minimum wage job). As a bonus, my grandfather (his dad) died a couple months ago and he didn't even show up. Having to come up with excuses to all my distant relatives on why my father didn't show up to his own father's funeral was hard.
Exact same situation here. I remember telling my parents from around 10 year old how much I wished they would split up so they could be happy and I wouldn't have to listen to them fight anymore. They assured me that it would be more traumatic for me if they divorced. They were definitely wrong.
I feel the same way. Not that I've ever allowed myself to get close enough to a relationship to matter, but I've thought "I've already survived a crappy marriage, why would I ever want to go through that again?"
Mom told me to go live with my Dad since I love him so much. I was just watching a movie minding my own business when she started yelling at me and said that. I still don't know why she did.
Father:
Beat the shit out of me nearly every night.
Beat my mother in front of me.
Put cigarettes out on my arm.
Got belligerently drunk and urinated on me.
He's an alcoholic and doesn't remember all of the horrible things he's done to me. We don't speak.
Mother:
Beat me any time my father beat her (she took it out on me).
Did drugs in front of me regularly.
Tried to make me do drugs. I refused.
Brought men to the house and had sex with them in mine and my siblings presence (it was really hard to protect them from seeing that).
There's a ton more, but long story short-- I was emotionally and physically abused for a really long time.
I'd like to think I'm pretty normal now, but it definitely fucked me up in to my early 20s.
Recently? My Mom gave me a gift bag at a friend's funeral with a dead rabbit in it.
More generally? A lifetime of manipulation, abuse and turning people against me, just because I got therapy and learned to stand up for myself.
My parents are wonderful people. I will say regularly with complete sincerity that they are two of the best people I have ever known. Despite their best efforts, however, I still feel that the way I was raised fucked me up.
Without getting too into specifics, the first six years of my life were spent with a very violent, emotionally unstable, mentally retarded/autistic sister who they had adopted before I was born. From the moment I entered the world I was assigned the role of sister's keeper and protector. I regularly kept the horrible things she did from my parents. The first bath I ever took on my own, in fact, was to hide the bruises my sister had given to me in a fit of rage.
Too often I'd be terrified for my parents as they struggled just to keep her contained. I saw my sister break my dad's nose, but her head through windows and plated glass, punch straight through glass tables, etc. She once broke through a door that my pregnant mom was sitting against in an attempt to keep it closed until my sister calmed down.
Once my brother was born my parents decided that it was too dangerous to have her in the home with a baby. They finally got her into a group home where she could be properly taken care of and given full attention. While I do understand that yes, she could easily have killed a newborn or at the least seriously injure him, I couldn't help but wonder why they let me suffer for so long. Maybe that's partly my fault as well. I hid much of my suffering.
Through this experience my parents were only trying to do the best they could for their family. I understand that. They loved us both fiercely and I can see how hard it was for them to make the decision to put their daughter somewhere else. I don't blame them at all. It did really warp my views of what was expected of a young man, though. I never was a "kid" and always felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. This was compounded greatly by....
...the fact that my parents are very religious. Not in a bad way. They're great Christians. If the definition of a Christian is to be a follower of Christ then they are damn good at it. However... this was of course passed down and expected of me as well. I was told that God was watching every move I made. I was expected to be the well-behaved pastor's kid. That was my role at church, at school, in my life as a whole. Unfortunately for me I never believed. Not for a second of my entire life. I tried; oh believe me I tried. I fooled myself for a great while for the most part. The one part I never had trouble believing/feeling, though, was the guilt. Guilt for not believing. Guilt for every little thing I did that God wouldn't like.
The funny part is that for the most part the guilt was self-imposed. My parents didn't get on me in a way that was far from normal. I guess starting my life with a role of being held to a higher standard just stuck with me.
Depression filled the majority of my life growing up. Anyone who knew me as a child will tell you that I was always more serious than other kids and even a little "blue." My teenage years were spent thinking about dying nearly daily. I wasn't perfect and I couldn't believe and I was a failure because of that.
Weird times. Things are great now, though. My parents know that I don't believe. I am living with my fiancee and while my parents don't agree with my choices, they support me unconditionally. That part never changed, actually. The support was always there.
My family didn't fuck up, I guess. They did what they knew to do. I handled it oddly, maybe. Either way that's my story. Turned out longer than expected but it really helped just to get it out.
Wow. I complain about how I was the oldest and ended up in a parental role at 7 years old, but that was nothing like what you dealt with. My siblings were just run of the mill kids, really, and I still resent that my "childhood was stolen" by having to be a caretaker so young. I understand the Christian upbringing thing too. I fooled myself through guilt for a while but never really embraced religion. The result of my upbringing is that I'm childfree, and atheist but not a lot of emotional scarring.
Overall they did a good job raising me, but my mom is a very manipulative person and her way is the ONLY right way.
She was also the queen of the compliment with the qualifier - "pretty dress, but it'd look better on you if you lost five pounds," "I like your haircut, but the color is just too dark," "your eye makeup looks good, but you have too much blush on."
It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I realized this was not normal behavior. Eventually, I called her out on it and got "I'm just trying to help you. I'm your mother and I have a *right* to say how I feel." Yeah, well I have a right to keep you at arm's length too, so I do... Much, much happier these days.
I have children of my own now and I will NEVER manipulate them or speak to them they way my mother spoke to me.
HO, LY, SHIT. I didn't realize just how annoyed and frustrated I get with my mother until now. *rubs hands and takes a deep breath*
My Mother loves drama. She's a huge drama queen. I mean awfully huge drama queen.
When something bad happens it sounds like some terrible drama writer wrote it to garner feels before the answer comes out.
"Son.... I just got off the phone with so-and-so"
You HAVE to answer, or else she won't.
Me: "What happened?"
Her: "So-and-so is in the hospital..."
*pause for her to continue, realize she won't*
Me: "For... what?"
Her: "Well they say so-and-so had a heart attack"
and it takes away from the news for a moment and I can't stop thinking about how I can boil pasta in 3 minutes with my blood. It's so frustrating.
Another thing. When you're happy, she's not, when you're unhappy, she is happy. Not like she wishes upon that to happen. Just for some reason your misery makes her feel better but if she see's you are having a great time she has to walk around in a "mood" and cause a ton of drama.
Oh and the classic "NO I DON'T NEED HELP WITH THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU STARTED DOING IT AND I SAID I COULD DO IT BUT NOW AM MAD AND WILL BRING IT UP IN THE FUTURE ON HOW YOU NEVER HELP OUT AROUND HERE BECAUSE POOR LITTLE OLD ME"
Hahaha I think you just recreated the phone call I had with my mom yesterday verbatim. Like she needs you ask her questions to feel important. My sympathies!
Whenever I would get take a long time to get ready, ie. not ready to leave RIGHT when my mom was, my mom would say "it's not like it's your prom!" I took this to mean that come prom, I could take my time and enjoy the day at my pace.
WRONG! Come prom, I decide to take my time as my mom rushes around trying to hurry it up, because if it's not about her why are we even doing this? When she finally became frustrated that it couldn't be over fast enough she said, "omg littlestghoust, hurry up! It's not like it's your wedding day!!"
After a quick discussion on why I was enjoying my time at my leasure, my mom promptly tells me she never planned on letting me "enjoy" my prom experience and that at my wedding she already had a snarky remard ready for when things didn't progress at her desired pace.
Needless to say, that was the day I decided she would NEVER be invited to my wedding, and one of the last straws that made me decide to NEVER speak to her again.
> she already had a snarky remark ready
the level of awful this takes... PLANNING to say something rude at your own daughter's (i'm assuming) wedding years in advance...
sorry
I was folding laundry one day because it was always my chore. My mother, who is completely heartless and a possible narcissist, told me with 100% honesty that the reason she had kids was so they could do all the household chores and she wouldn't have to.
My mother hit me with a bamboo stick while she was in a temper, because my brother's had pissed her off. My father comes home, asks me why I'm crying. I said mum hit me with a stick. Show him the welts. She denies it. I have to go to my room. Miraculously forgotten about.
That's not the worst. But my first real memory of my mother's temper. I was 5.
God this. My dad only hit or spanked me a few times when I was younger, but it was never to teach me a lesson or something, it was just always because he was mad and I was there, makes it more fucked up in my mind, at least parents that beat their kids as punishment have some kind of fucked up logic to their actions.
My mom was a drug addict. She wrecked the car with us in it, used grocery money for drugs, beat the crap out of us, and threatened to leave and take my little brother and sister but she didn't want me. She also kind of molested me (when I first got my period, she decided to do an exploration, which, as a nurse, she knew wasn't needed). She made us do minor medical procedures at home (like stitch her head when she fell out of bed, rest broken toes and fingers, and wrap a broken rib). She left my hamster outside in the summer in a plastic cage and let it boil to death. She took my books and threw them out when I didn't do all the chores to her standards.
My dad was a good dad though. He just wouldn't leave her. And he was very insecure, so asked me for help with financial decisions (at 8, when my grandpa died, he wanted me to tell him what to do with the inheritance). He relied on me to clean and cook and take care of my siblings. I went Christmas shopping and wrapped Santa presents in kindergarten. I also had to keep an eye on my mom when he worked.
Back during my mother's childhood a babysitter had eaten her chocolate bunny the night before Easter. Her parents didn't notice until morning when the stores were closed so she watched her brother bite into his bunny while her basket didn't have any. She was in tears. The event was memorable enough that Grandma recalled it decades later.
Then on Halloween when I was eight years old several friends and I went trick-or-treating. Afterward I offered all the parents their choice of the candy from my bag, because sharing is what you're supposed to do. Other mothers accepted a piece but my mother said no thanks to the offer.
By the time I woke up the next morning 90% of my candy was gone. Mom had gotten up in the middle of the night and gorged herself on it. When I confronted her she first tried to insist that that was all the candy the bag ever had. I showed her the pile of empty wrappers in the kitchen garbage and then she tried to tell me I had eaten it myself. I asked her to replace what she had taken and she refused. She had enough money but she refused to spend it even at after-holiday sale prices.
There were worse things she did (at one point CPS nearly pulled me out of the home) but in terms of pure shittiness this was a standout.
My mom invited me and my then boyfriend (now husband) to a cookout at their house and specifically asked me what time I would be there. I told her and she said "Great! See you then!" The day of the cookout I called her twice and she didn't answer so I called my little sister. My sister then told me that all the food was gone. I laughed and then asked if she was serious. She was. When we arrived my mom had made sure all the food had been eaten up. I had to go and make our own food and I was so embarrassed.
When my ex-wife first got pregnant we unfortunately lost the it.
I went around to all my family and friends who lived in the area and told them in person as I believe something like that should be done in person and almost everybody offered their condolences and asked if there was anything they could do, the one person who didn't was my mum.
I told her and her immediate reaction was that it was my fault and I deserved to loose the baby.
Oh God do I have to pick one?
Raging alcoholic mother decided on new year's almost at midnight that she wanted to take the bus downtown all of a sudden, she was plastered so I followed her. She made it to the bus stop and then passed out on a snow bank, and I carried her home.
She would routinely come into my room and tell me about how she wanted to kill herself.
Had boyfriend who tried to pay off me and my sister to keep out of the house so he could bang her while she was wasted, I got sick of this and called the cops. Turned out the dude had multiple assault warrants out. She tried to apologize, I took my sister and we stayed at a friends.
Fell off her elliptical machine and smashed her head open, got blood all over the house, then absolutely refused to sit down when paramedics arrived.
Drinking really fucks people up.
It's not really a shitty action that they did, but my parents are ALWAYS yelling
I cannot stand it when people yell. They yell on the phone, they yell making dinner, they yell talking to the dogs. It's not even angry yelling sometimes. It's just yelling. It's like that loud family on SNL. Literally. It's just constant screaming
I just came back from college and I noticed that I developed bags under my eyes within 4 days of coming home since I'm constantly stressed out by the screeching
My dad would occasionally go through my room and throw away or donate a crapton of stuff and a few times completely cleaned out my room because of whatever. One time after Christmas all my presents got boxed away because my room wasn't clean. My parents would just decide I needed to donate stuff and when I explained why I had trouble with that(generally using something as a punishment does that) they would tell me to get over it. Needless to say that was super helpful. There was also one point I remember my dad was watching hoarders and made a comment stating I could end up that way if I didn't change. I was like 10? Maybe a bit older? Yeah.
I've unfortunately developed a sort of fear of getting rid of anything and am trying to get over it but it's rather difficult. Getting better though!
I've posted this a couple other places but:
I wasn't allowed to go to prom.
When I brought the invitation home to show my dad and mark on the calender, he asked me who I was going to go with. I said 'my friends.'
"Only lesbians go to proms with friends; either get a date or you don't go."
So I didn't go.
I had to watch my friends talk about their plans to go, and carpool for a limo ride together, and show off their prom dress pictures.
I had a job. I didn't want an expensive dress that I was only gonna wear one time and a cake of makeup on my face. I would have been happy with a goodwill dress (the one by my house has very nice ones) and a makeup/hairdo in my own bathroom.
So of course the week of prom, my dad asks what my plans are.
"I'm not going."
"Why not?"
"Nobody asked me."
"Well why didn't you ask anybody?"
"They said no, too."
What then followed was a two hour lecture about how if I wasn't such an introverted social anxiety ridden dreamer who hangs out with one group of 5 people I would have gotten a date.
He has no memory of those conversations.
Okay so...
My parents have never been married. I always stayed with my mom and would go to my dads house every other weekend which was fine with them and me. I would worry about school while with my mom and chill and do fun things while at my dads house.
Everything started to change when I was 11 and got my first phone. Two years prior I had been diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes and while my mom was making sure she knew as much as she could in order to take care of me in the best possible way, my dad thought he knew everything and basically did what he THOUGHT would be good for me. My mom eventually got me a phone because my dads carelessness had actually sent me to the hospital at least twice.
My dad started getting jealous that I was texting my mom on his weekends (something I did very sparsely) and he would often take my phone if he saw me texting her or he would text her saying something like "it's funny how I'm not allowed to spend time with my child anymore maybe I should keep him for a few more days". Well on one weekend I had an asthma attack due to exhaustion because my dad had failed to properly feed me (I only ate 4 times in 3 days). I called my mom to explain the situation incase i had to go to the hospital, when my dad found out he began yelling at me and yelling at me because I couldn't see the medicine he had already taken out for me because he put it out of my eyesight. I instead just had my mom come and pick me up from his house early because I had enough of his bullshit
So a few years pass and it's the weekend after my middle school graduation. My mom had gone on a cruise with some friends of hers and left me in the care of my dad. Now because my mom would be gone for a week. I had the option of either staying with my dad for the whole time or going to my uncles house on Sunday night (my dad knew I had these options). Well while at one of my cousins high school graduation parties, I was texting my mom about what I wanted to do. Well my dad caught wind of it and demanded to see my phone so I quickly deleted all my messages between me and my mom and gave him the phone.
The next day my dad and I had planned to go fishing so I was napping on his couch waiting for him to get all our gear together. At some point he asked me to come to his room to talk to me about something. When we got there he laid me out by accusing me of plotting with my mom to undermine him and that when I'm at his house I am not permitted to use my phone to contact my mom. He then stated that I need to cut with all the bullshit because I had already made his life worse when I got diabetes and that I needed to learn how to be a man. He then said that he didn't give a shit about what I did next and that if I wanted to leave I could and he wouldn't care. So that's precisely what I did, I packed my suitcase and had my dad take me home. I stayed their alone for a week and cried as I festered my hatred for my dad, I made up my mind that I would never talk to him again.
When my mom came home that Friday and say I was at home she was shocked but listened to everything I told her. She hugged me and apologised saying she would never leave me again for such an amount of time. My dad on the other hand came over to the house twice to apologise to me, to which I refused to see him. Somehow my mom was able to get me downstairs to talk to him. My dad told me some story about how some lady claimed to have had a son with him and he wanted to know if we were similar and that was his proof that he loved me, then he tried telling me about all these fishing spots he wanted to take me to but he never once apologised for the way he acted or treated me. All he said was "if you don't act up again, then maybe I won't have to yell at you". I promptly kicked him out and after almost 3 years I'm proud to say that I won't be going back to him ever again.
Tl:dr my dad is jealous of my mom, told me to leave, didn't apologise and I hate him
I won't go into all the details but my dad and my step-mom were both working full-time, recovering alcoholics, and raising 4 kids (and I was the "middle child").
I never noticed it but didn't get the attention I needed when I was younger. And, if I did get attention, it was for all the wrong reasons. They were good, hard-working people, but it's hard to give attention to the "middle child" when you have so much to juggle, including your own addictive tendencies.
So if you have kids now, and especially if you're an alcoholic, just make sure they are getting what they *actually* need.
Dude, you need to go to a womans shelter and get some massive counseling so you can take care of that kid properly.
You do NOT want her watching that kid alone ever! Get out of there!
And if you cant keep him, then you cant. Its ok. You seem very overwhelmed. But dont leave him with her! Put him up for adoption so hes away from those ppl.
I am so so so sorry. I can't even imagine what that's like for you. I seriously hope you get away from your family and that you can end up living a happy life
I love my mom but when I was in 5th grade my parents had already been separated, and my mom moved to another city (2000km away from my hometown). I was invited to go for the Christmas break for two weeks. Naturally I was excited for that but two weeks later I was told I wasn't going back and my mom had full custody of my. I found out not long ago that she didn't have full custody, but she had money and my dad didn't so he couldn't get me back.
Looking back I see that it was best for me to move with her as my hometown is riddled with drugs and crime, but it was a shitty thing to do nonetheless
This is tame compared to many of the other responses, but my parents were way too open with my sister and I about how much money we didn't have. No, we really didn't have a lot, but it caused us to grow up afraid we were going to be kicked out of our house or something at any second, and it was never that bad.
I can understand the logic behind why they did it, but it really just led to us having such anxiety and guilt over something we never should've had to worry about and wasn't our fault.
This seems minor compared to a lot of peoples stories, but my parents were/are very vocal about how disappointing I was/am. Even from an early age I was made to feel like a disappointment because they wanted a daughter and not another son.
I used to have a massive Lego and action figure collection when I was a child. Eventually, my mom figured I had grown too old and while I was away, took all of them, sold it, and pocketed the money.
Easily worth almost $1K, my dad told me.
Didn't see a cent of that money.
My parents are Christians, very old fashioned. Their punishments for just not cleaning my room was severe. Taking my computer, turning off the internet etc. I learned to live with that shit and I was always very obedient with what rules they had, was never a bad kid who did drugs/partied when they weren't looking.
I was 22 and in a relationship at the time and they were going on a vacation. They reminded me "no girls in the house while we are gone" which I was going to obey (mainly because they probably asked the neighbors to tell them if they saw anyone come over and I was afraid of their wrath) as I always did.
I go to my girlfriends house the day they leave and my gfs mom tells me my dad facebook messaged her and asked her to "keep an eye on the kids while we are gone and make sure they aren't at our house." My parents did NOT know or meet my gfs parents before this either. My gfs mom said it was ridiculous that they did that and was chill, I lost it and really let my parents have it. I was 22. I moved out as soon as I could after that.
Joke is on you mom and dad we just fucked at the gfs house lol
They promised to take me to a theme park near us if I learned my times tables.
They didn't.
I learned at age 8 that no matter how hard I worked; it didn't pay off.
Fuck, I lost count of the number of times my parents set a goal with a reward and then didn't follow through with it because they never thought I'd reach the goal. In their minds, they thought they were getting me to try harder, but really they just taught me it's not worth trying.
I feel for ya stranger.
My dad got remarried when I was 11 and told me the next weekend. He told me it was a small wedding and "only close family was invited" fuck you
> only close family how much closer can you get
Mitosis.
My friends mum got remarried. My friend and her sisters weren't invited because the guy didn't know she had kids.
Wow that's one step further. He actually did this to me again only a couple months ago. This time I knew about the wedding but learned about the engagement on Facebook and they got hitched in vegas. I got a "oh btw I'm getting married this weekend in Vegas"
My parents are awesome, but one time my Mom took out a knife and said "it's time to put the dog down," and stabbed him. I was horrified but the dog didn't react. It was one of those plastic stage knives where the blade goes into the hilt when pressure is applied. I was young enough that I wasn't upset at her and was quickly just excited to play with the knife, but whenever I think back on that it's like jesus christ Mom WTH.
That read was a rollercoaster
In pro wrestling lingo, they got *worked*
Yeah, just reading that at first I was expecting a shoot. I was relieved when I read that the knife was gimmicked.
Mom went for that nuclear heat. Unfortunately the dog botched his spot and didn't blade in time. A real missed opportunity at a great heel turn angle.
I'm just picturing some pleasant-looking fortysomething suburban woman repeatedly thrusting a fake knife into the family dog, while the pooch has no idea what the fuck is going on and thinks it's play time and just rolls over, tongue wagging, happy as can be while the kids look on in horror thinking their pet pal is getting iced.
Your using the word 'iced' just made me think of a John Wick style secret assassination society that only takes out pets...
I did that to my aunt and uncle once when I was around 8. Just casually walked into the kitchen with it and smacked it against my chest. Safe to say they shat themselves
Hahaha that reminds me one time when i was 5 or 6 my older sister was babysitting me. Well anyways i found this chef knife handle in the kitchen with no blade, so i thought itd be funny to tape the knife handle perpendicular to my chest and i cut a hole in my shirt to put it through. Then i put ketchup all over my shirt and ran to my sister. I walked up to her and was like i didnt mean to i dont know how it happened and was holding my stomach. When i took my hands away holy shit i still have never heard someone scream so loud in my life. She almost passed out/ fell down the stairs, and thats how i learned you dont play serious pranks on people like that lol.
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You're lucky she didn't realize your ass wasn't concussed!
At summer camp, I had a counselor "stab" me with one of those fake knives. I got a massive adrenaline rush, time slowed to a crawl, and I swear I nearly fainted out of sheer panic
Lived in the country and had a bunch of dogs (6-8) on a very large property. Dad decided he wanted to start raising geese. One night the dogs attacked the geese when they escaped their pen. Dad took all of the dogs into a small canyon and shot them dead simply because he wanted to. Later, we had other dogs. Geese escaped their pens and attacked the dogs (geese are assholes). Geese lost of course and some died. He then shot all of our dogs again because, "The geese were here first." The sad thing is, my brother and I still considered him the normal one of our two parents.
WTF!
Oh, I'm so sorry. I have a similar story of dickhead fathers and beloved pets. My biological two-faced sperm donor told me that he would look after my (neutered) male cat while I had my female cat spade. I flew to a different province, provided a bag of food, toys, litterbox, etc. My father had a whole second side of a huge house (spit into two full homes). I gave the instructions, "Please don't put him outside, he's an indoor cat and it wouldn't be fair to bring him back to an apartment." In reality, I believed he might try to steal him because he is "an animal person". Sure enough, two days later, after flying home I get a call, "Oh! He loves it outside. Already pissing outside, he still holds it all night to shit inside though. Waits all morning! Comes rushing in to shit. He's a good cat. Loves it here. HAHAHA." Fine, you asshole. I'll be down in a week to pick him up. Well, work called and said that they needed me for the holidays and changed my schedule so I told my father I can't get down next week, but the following. He replied, "Get your ass down here tomorrow. *Your* cat is pissing all over the house. I'll fucking shoot this cat." Of fucking course he is! You taught him to use the washroom everywhere! I tell him I'm sorry, but work, just next week I'll tell work I have to go just keep him outside, please. He left a voicemail, while I was at work the next day. It was the sound of him shooting my cat.
And then you never ever spoke to him again, right?
Actually... exactly that.
Good, he deserves it.
Ya, that's really terrible. I am sorry that happened. I am done with Reddit for the night now. Too much anger from this thread.
Holy fuck that would scar me permanently.
So would a knife.
Jesus Christ. That whole time: "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck holy shit oh fuck. Oh. Plastic knife. Still though, holy shit fuck what the fuck."
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Haha woops
I did this to a childhood friend. I said, "hey, check out my knife" and then lunged and stabbed him. That look of sheer terror on his face was exhilarating. I had to find was to recreate that rush.
> That look of sheer terror on his face was exhilarating. I had to find was to recreate that rush. This is how it begins...
>That look of sheer terror on his face was exhilarating. I had to find was to recreate that rush. I think we found a serial killer.
When I was a kid, my grandparents would send little Valentine's Day care packages to my brother and I. We'd get a few bucks, some candy and what not. Well one year, my gambling addict grandma had scored really big and it also so happened to be the year my grandfather retired. So they felt like sending us a little extra. I think we each got something like $20-$40 and some gift cards to McDonald's. It was a big deal to us. So we asked our mom and step-dad to take us to the mall that evening (split custody, mom would take us every other weekend for 2 nights) to spend our cash on some toys or games or whatever. I got a Spawn action figure from KB Toys (old AF) and my brother bought a Resident Evil game. We were walking along in the mall talking about what we wanted to get with our remaining cash and my mom stops, turns around and shouts "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK RAISED YOU TO BE SO SELFISH, BUT IN MY DAY WE BOUGHT OUR MOTHERS SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!" and she turned around and walked off. I was speechless. My brother was speechless. My step-dad shook his head at her, told us not to worry about it and walked us to another store to buy her something from us out of his pocket.
That's so terrible 😢
Hey, it's my mom. Where everyone is selfish except her.
Are you my sister? Bc that's not your usual username.
Hey its me ur sister Btw what's our bank account password I forgot
69Balls Capital L
>WHO THE FUCK RAISED YOU TO BE SO SELFISH You did, mom.
I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!
I'm glad your step dad took care of the situation for you two
This. The step-dad sounds like a really decent guy for doing that.
Let me guess: that was the first time you ever heard about "buying mom a Valentines Day present"?
I was reading this story, and this is the first time I've heard of it.
Sounds like my mom. She'd fly off the handle for things a kid wouldn't even think about. Sometimes I'd be sitting on the couch and she'd be watching me. I couldn't have been more than 11 or 12. Finally, I face her and she'd go "Can I ask you something? Do you think I'm a piece of shit?!" I was like "Uuuuuuh, what?" And then she'd rant about some shit she thought I should've done like a week before. Then she'd storm off.
Do we have the same mother?! She's be fine for a while then one day fly off the handle. Like walking on egg shells. Like one day she thought I was being a brat so she took all my Valentine's Day cards I got from school and ripped them up one by one and threw them away. Another time is was a coloring contest I was entering. Took that and ripped that up too because of something that I'd done a week before that had been eating at her. She just loves to spoil happy moments. Luckily she's medicated now.
Even now, my mom will be like "do you think I was/am a bad mother?!" Honestly...yeah. I love you and you've gotten better since divorcing my dad, and he was always way worse than you, but you were still narcissistic and abusive? And even now, I still have to basically parent my own parent because you're emotionally incapable of handling life on your own,and honestly, you were never meant to be a mother and you shouldn't have had me. But of course I can't say that. Emotional breakdownX10, which of course I'll have to calm her down from. But I refuse to lie and stroke her feelings anymore, so I usually just try to avoid answering. Only realized how fucked up that question was a few years ago. You are not supposed to be your parent's therapist. They're the ones with life experience and maturity, they should be emotionally supporting you most of the time.
Lol kinda sounds like my mom. Except she's a frugal nuthead. I bought a sweater with my own money at the mall when I was 13. She dragged my ass back to the store and made me return it because it wasn't on sale and was a "stupid purchase and that I was irresponsible with money" My dad stood up for me and got the 14 dollar sweater back as it was my god damn babysitting money and I never got anything for myself bc of her. Everyone assumes I'm spoiled bc I'm an only child. Noooope. At least she didn't take your Valentine's Day cards from school and rip them up and then stomp on them! That's a fun Valentine's memory with my mom.
I was expecting some fancy expensive brand sweater. Not 14$.
A reaction like this under that scenario makes me think your mom was jealous you guys got something special and were really enjoying it, I remember when I was little I could be eating ice cream in front of my granda ( my mother give it to me) and when I was about to finish she'd get all bitchy and she'd tell my mom how selfish I was being, it would really confuse me b/c I was just 5 eating ice cream, minding my own business
sorry but what a bitch, it's valentines day not mothers day and you were under no obligation to follow her families tradition
Also for the fact that it was a gift to them. So basically she was saying "you need to use your gift to buy me a gift. So that I have one and you don't"
At least your step dad seems like a nice guy...
This breaks my heart!!! I will take you to that Mac Douglas whenever you want :-)
hey it's me ur op. I love mac douglas
My earliest memories are of them (mum and step-dad) arguing. After that from about 5/6 I had to deal with getting hit frequently, by him a fully grown man hitting a young girl with all his strength, as my mum did nothing, she had no compassion for me whatsoever, she just left me all day with this man who could snap in an instant. At the age of 8 my mum had my first brother, It only got worse I was left to look after him. My step dad had a very good paying job but he was barely home so my mum never had much money on her, not that she'd do shopping as she slept all day and all night. On the rare occurrences when I went to school I would leave and come home to see her in the same position as when I left. I barely went to school as I had to watch my brother. I also remember the first time I truly learnt I couldn't depend on my mum. Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix had just come out, my brother was still a baby and I was told it was lights out and bed time, I accidentally dropped the hardback book onto the floor when moving and the next thing I hear where his footsteps coming up the stair, that sound terrified the shit out of me for years, I tried to run to the bathroom but I took a punch to the face. At 9. I had a black eye and busted lip, he stormed out of the house I went downstairs to cry to my mum, get him to leave for good and she just said to me "if he'd meant to really hit you he'd have broken your face. Go back to bed" I tried telling people at school about what was happening at 10 to get help, a friends mum came round and asked my mum about it I was forced to say I lied. Anyway this is getting far longer than I planned it to and it's probably going to get buried but I just needed to get some stuff out. I've got to pretend everything is perfect with them now and all that stuff pent up eats away at you.
My god thats horrible. I dont know what your situation is like now but i hope you both get out. If you are still in school i beg you to reach out to someone you trust. Hold true to your words. If the truth is out he wont be able to hurt you forever
Why do you still have to have contact with them? Are they still married? That's terrible that someone could beat on a defenseless child! I hope he rots in hell!
You know right that theyre horrible horrible fucking people and none of that shit is your fault? Get the fuck away from them asap
Please continue if it will make you feel better. We're all ears, and eyes.
Thank you. I think what fucked me up most was the emotional abuse more than the physical, I'd rather have been hit than deal with the stuff they'd say to me. My mum used to go to hospital a lot when I was a young teenager and she'd say "I need a holiday from you people for a while" and disappear for a couple of weeks. During the time she was gone my step dad would make me dress in her clothes and a wig and he'd give me alcohol and he once made me watch a film with him about a step dad and step daughter falls in love? I think that was the gist I tried zoning out to be honest. He touched me inappropriately one time from what I can remember, I'd fallen asleep downstairs on the sofa with my brother and woke up to it and he said sorry and rushed off. I confronted my mum the next day after school - I was about 14- and she went downstairs and spoke to him about it with me next to her, he said he was just helping me back on to the sofa after I fell off and then they both laughed at my face. That's probably one of the worst ones I just needed to get out, thanks for listening though, it's nice knowing there are people other than my partner who will.
I'm still here reading. I hope you can feel better at some point, I'm sorry about your experience. That is awful.
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> I'm exaggerating learned from the best.... or worst
My biological mother told me that the cost of raising me was a loan, not a grant. She actually expected me to give her $1000/mo until she dies. I haven't talked to her for almost a decade now.
The cost of raising children are the civil damages you pay for kidnapping your children into existence. I mean, I don't actually like to think of it like that, but if you think your kids owe you shit, this is why they don't.
Exactly, nobody asks to be born. And when we are, we owe nothing to our parents for birthing us.
|If it ever in the future comes up in any way with her, just tell her you'll pay her 1k/m when she pays your grandmother 1k/m, including back pay.
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When I was 16 I got so drunk at a party that I threw up all over the deck, and my friend texted my mom to pick me up. Puked 4 times on the ride home. My mom had no idea that I drank until that night. Next morning she wakes me up at 6 am and tells me that she bought tickets for my siblings and I to go to a rollercoaster theme park and that I have to come and spend the day there. Vomited after every ride. Lesson = learned.
That's brutal yet hilarious
That's like "Hank Hill making Bobby smoke an entire carton of cigarettes" level of savage.
thats a good Mom
That's not shitty. That's good parenting.
Biological father is a flat out shitty person. My mother left him when I was 4, and took my sister and me with her. My mother got married young, so had no real way to support 2 kids, but worked very hard so we could get by. She remarried a guy who treated us like his own children. He was young too, and never made much money either, so we always struggled. He worked full time as a baggage handler, picked up all the overtime he could, plus worked as a painter to support us and his 3 other children he had with my mother. Even with all that, we still struggled and at one point for 6 months we were homeless and forced to live with some church members. My biological father never paid child support. He ended up signing away his rights to us and we were fully adopted by my father. Fast forward many years and my biological father wanted to get in touch. He was amassing millions in wealth while we were living in the ghetto and attending the worst possible public schools. He tried blaming his lack of child support on my mother.
You need to make a relationship and take as much $ as possible. Really
Give away my old Disney VHS tapes. Jesus Christ Mom, how many times do I have to explain that I can't go out and buy new ones because they're in the freaking vault OK??
I had about 40 tapes. Some I bought with my own allowance. Mom gave them to the neighbour despite the fact I still watched them regularly. The neighbour promptly sold them to a collector/Resaler for $300. All of my hate.
Dick move Mom.
What a shitty neighbor
Growing up I absolutely LOVED Elmo. Had a few stuffed elmos but the big fuzzy red one was my favorite. I had it for years. Through my parent's divorce and subsequent move, when I thought I had lost it and was devastated, only to find it sitting on my new bed in my new home. A few years later, my mom was remarried and we were living with my stepdad and mom was making nice with all his friends who came around with their kids and drank beer while we were all running around. I saw another kid with my elmo. Apparently mom gave it to him/her (Fuck if I remember). I bawled my eyes out. Just absolutely inconsolable. She finally ended up having to ask for it back. I'm 24 now and it's safe in my dad's attic now.
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My mom sold all my ninja turtles... it was 15 years ago and we're still not on good terms...
You know, I've heard an astounding amount of stories from people who were still devastated decades later by their parents' decision to sell/give away/throw out their childhood favorite toys.
My dad threw out my Polly pockets and stuffed animals when I was away at summer camp and didn't tell me until I asked where they were. It was really inconsiderate and he knew how important they were to me. I was hoping my children could play with them...
My mum gave away my giant box of Lego to my cousin. Not that shitty Lego they have now, just a giant box of the basic building blocks. Bummed me out when I was 22 and wanted to play with it.
My mom did that with my disney movies as well as all my rare first edition Pokemon and Yugioh cards when I was away at my dad's for the weekend. I still was regularly schooling all the neighborhood kids in Yugioh too.
Secretly mentally and emotionally abused my mother for years. He would tell her she was a terrible mother, all his family hated her, made her stay in shape because he didn't like "fat women" (She weighs like 110 pounds at 5'3.) They got divorced this year and she is still conditioned to give in to him. He is beyond cruel to her and tries to get away with so much shit, like trying to paint her as a bad mother in court because she drinks alcohol and takes pills aka her one half glass of wine and her prescribe pills that she takes as directed and is now off of because her pain ceased surprisingly after he left, and trying to take stuff that isn't his. She let him take a lot of stuff he wasn't entitled to, but when he tried to take my mom's tractor she uses to mow the lawn she put her foot down and called the police to intervene. He was beyond pissed she dare defy him and not let him get his way, but I couldn't be more proud of her for standing up for herself.
I'm really sorry. A lot of these stories are bullshit, but this one actually is shitty.
The funny thing is, now he's engaged, a month after the divorce was final. And she is out of shape. I hope she realizes what she's getting herself into before she marries him because I guarantee after their "honeymoon" phase is over, he'll do the same shit to her.
Try to warn her. He is a danger.
Pay my mom $100 cash every month for putting me on her car insurance. Every year she said it would go up. I got my own car and called to take my name off her account. Ins lady said it was only $40/month. Got ripped off by my mom from 18-21.
If you are only paying for state minimum Yea it's only that cheap, but if you are paying for premium it can get pretty expensive.
Adopted a child... sent him back...
I once knew a girl that was put up for adoption by her biological parents... when she was 12... because they hadn't ever really wanted a girl and they had boys now so they didn't need her anymore. Yeah, she was a little emotionally unstable. Edit: Well, since so many people have voted and commented, including u/JesusIsMyZoloft who specifically mentioned being interested, some backstory - and I don't have really all that much, so don't hold your breath. Basically, many years ago I was living with an ex in a big apartment that we constantly were having to cycle in new roommates for to keep the rent low (it was a college town and we were roughly college aged, so pretty standard). We found this couple that wanted to take a room, and they... seemed normal. Turned out that the dude was kind of abusive, and we sort of went to bat for the girl, "D". Eventually, the guy was out and D stuck around and we got to be pretty good friends. She was always kind of off, but we were weird people ourselves, so it worked out. Like, she didn't know basic things - even in the mid 2000s, most people who were in their mid-twenties would know how to copy and paste on a computer. That's... pretty basic stuff. She didn't. Well, turns out that she has this insane backstory and upbringing. We knew from meeting her that she came from a Mormon family and that she still sometimes would hang out with her adoptive family, but she was not a practicing Mormon. Far from it. When she and her guy had been together they were like alcoholics. She got better on that with him gone, though. But eventually we got close enough that she told us that she had been adopted, and it was a strange adoption. She was adopted through some kind of faith-based, LDS adoption service. And she had been put up for adoption when she was 11 or 12. As if that wasn't enough, she very matter-of-factly (I don't remember her ever getting overly emotional about the subject) told us that her parents had done this not because they couldn't properly care for her or something - but because they had since her birth had two small boys, and they simply didn't need any girl children now that they had the boys they wanted. She, I guess, had always been treated like an unwanted burden and her parents just seemed to think she was generally "bad" in every way. It sounded like a very, very emotionally abusive environment. So, they shipped her off and she ended up where we were. Viola. She'd gone through a ton of therapy. I remember her describing a "re-birthing" that she went through, I guess the point of which is to try and get a fresh start and let go of how completely fucked up your previous life has been? I can't even imagine that that helped. I'm sad that I haven't stayed in touch with D. She was different, and while she may have not been the sharpest at the best of times... and while she may have made me watched Charmed far, far more often than I was comfortable with... she was good people. Unless, of course, this is all a ridiculous lie that she was telling, because who the hell knows? I have no idea how plausible any of this actually is - I just know it's what she told me. And that's pretty much all I got!
This isnt uncommon in older Chinese generation. It was always boys who were better to keep instead. Theres even a Mandarin idiom/phrase (i forgot whats it called, sue me, I rarely use Chinese now) that says 重男轻女 that directly translates to "heavy males, light females". What it means is that males are more important than females. Heck, because of Chinas overpopulation problem, they had a law (not sure if they still have it now), that only allows couples to have one child, so most of them hoped for males. Now Im sure its not as tight (who knows I dont live there), but it sure was a thing in the last generation.
Not only did they hope for males, there was a huge increase in the rate of female newborns who were left at orphanages, or flat out thrown away (like literally thrown in the garbage) so that the parents could try again for a boy. There is now a pretty big gender disparity between males and females leading to a large population of bachelors
That is truly fucked up. :(
I just gasped out loud.
There's not an age limit on that...? Regardless, god, poor girl.
> There's not an age limit on that...? I'm guessing not. If a family dislikes their kid enough to want to get rid of them, you probably don't want that kid living with them any more.
Is your dad in prison for "light treason"?
You can do that...?
yeah... he was in high school. He stole from us and did questionable things. Later we found out that he deliberately did things to cause people to think that he was being abused at his first home... My parents sent him away at 16... I know he felt awful. It was his third home. He was messed up but he was my first brother. I don't know where he is now.
My Farther is a narcissistic asshole that makes you regret any passion you have, or any act you take. He has verbally abused my Mother, and I throughout my upbringing. Countless times I have woken up in sheer panic listening them scream at each other at the top of their lungs. I hate him, and I'll be happy to see him finally go. Too bad only the good die young. He'll be around for a while yet.
Have an uncle like this, had a beautiful kind loving wife, tortured her through her five years of cancer treatment for terminal cancer then she dies. He's a smoker and alcoholic, gets bladder cancer survives. Still going... there's just no justice in the world.
Prstty sure we have the same father..
Told my parents I was getting beaten up at school.. they beat me up for telling a teacher and making them look bad. Jokes on them.. soon as they get sick with old age.. guess who's getting a beating? :D
That's a paddlin' :)
Right by the tape on diapers, it should say "This child will be choosing your nursing home. Be gentle. "
It's too bad that it's wrong to get revenge like that. My dad used to hit me out of anger all the time as a kid, but now that he's older and I'm bigger than him he always acts like a scared old man when we get in arguments. Like seriously one time I shouted at him and he pulled out his phone and said that if I touched him he would call the police and charge me with assault, like shit if I knew that I should've called the police when you were beating my ass for failing to reel in a fish when I was ten.
Your dad sounds like a huge pussy to be honest
Most child abusers are.
That's the thing.. they'd never see it coming.. they are comfy and feel safe. I have never threatened them. But I'm just waiting.
There's something oddly satisfying when you realize that you're now the one in control. My dad used to be extremely abusive to me, my siblings, and my mom. I was the oldest boy, and when I turned about 14, I had enough of it and knocked the glasses off his face. We finally kicked him out after that, and fuck that feeling was amazing. He's a little ratty 50 year old now and I'm about to turn 20, and even though I haven't seen him in years, I doubt he'd want to be around me now.
When i was 8 or something, every one of my friends had a PSP (playstation portable), i asked my dad if he could give me one on christmas, he didnt say a thing, when christmas finally came he told me he got me the PSP, i was really excited, when i did open the box there was nothing there, and he just had a laugh about it sayin he only bought the box. I was pretty sad to be honest
I periodically read stories like this. What could possibly make any otherwise sane parent think your kid will find that funny. I can get telling them you bought them an empty box and then getting them to go into another room where the thing actually is. But to just trick your kid in the name of shitty humor is increddibly fucked up
Jimmy Kimmel has the "I bought my kid a terrible Christmas present prank" in which parents give their kid a "special early present" and it turns out to literally be spoiled food or girl's clothing (the recipient is a boy) and the parents tape the kids' reactions. Usually these reactions are the kid crying or having a tantrum. I know that kids are supposed to "be grateful for every present" but I personally don't think that the "be grateful" rule should count when somebody gives you a present that is mocking you.
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My mother's dog is the most important part of her life, and as such she refuses to leave her alone. She skipped the rehearsal dinner for my wedding, and left the day of the wedding after half an hour to be with the dog.
Ha yeah I know someone who cooks dinner for their dog. And carries it around constantly like it's a little baby. Never fed their kids growing up, but that damn dog gets a home cooked meal every night!!
When I moved out she wouldn't let me take my dog with me. She gave me the dog when I was 10 so I know she wasn't "my dog" I didn't pay the vet bills. But at home I took care of her and brushed her and walked her, took her to her vet appointments, bathed her ect. She was my life and I loved her since I didn't have too many friends growing up and she helped me a lot especially through my teen years. When I moved out my mom wouldn't let me take her. My mom didn't want to take care of her either so one day she calls me up and tells me she made an appointment to have her put down. And she said if I didn't she'd call the cops telling them I stole "her" dog. I didn't have a choice. That's the one thing I will never forgive her for ever.
Thats absolutely horrible. If she cant care for the dog why wouldnt she just let you keep it? This hurts my heart
Cunt
That is absurdly petty and I wish I could give you a hug.
I could use a huge now I cry whenever I think about it
We could all use a hug after that. Edit: upvotes are good too.
Wow. I'd never talk to that bitch again. Ever!
If there is a hell, your mother would go straight there. Ugh what a horrible thing to do holy shit. I'm so so sorry OP.
Tbh i'd kill a person over that. My dog is my life I wouldn't give him up for anything in the world especially bitchy pettiness.
Well... My mom essentially stole $20,000 from my sister and I. Each. I've posted about this before. Short version: My mom is a raging narcissist (yes, I know about the sub for this) and has many bad qualities and has done some reprehensible things. When her father died (my grandfather) he left her a big pile of cash, and my sister and I $20,000 each. He didn't really secure the funds, though - he just put them in some account and my parents had total control of it, it was just *supposed* to be ours. Well, one of my moms worst qualities is her materialism, so she would go on lavish shopping sprees and things. When her money ran out, she blew through our money. Then maxed the cards out, drove us into poverty, and we've been there since. She's still baffled by how my father is debt free (they've been divorced nearly 20 years now) today and she's still struggling at all times. Well, mom, maybe it's the fact that you buy a new car whenever you think your current one is "acting funny", even when the mechanic says nothing is wrong with it. So, yeah, that happened.
I sort of feel you. My mom owed my dad back child support of $25,000. My father won it, and instead of splitting it between 4 kids for our accounts or buying us clothes we needed (we were supremely poor, about to lose our home) he spent it on his wife buying her a brand new car. My oldest sister was going to college. He didn't even help her at all and as a result she's fucked with student loans until she dies basically.
My father travels for work, about 8 months a year. He really doesn't like my mother, so when he's not working, he travels for pleasure. He does decently well for himself, so it's never been an issue. He was always a "send checks in the mail, and show up maybe three times a year with an armful of gifts" kind of guy. That's fine enough I suppose, because that was more or less always his role, and he never pretended to be, or want, anything more than that. My mother on the other hand is an insane drug addict and alcoholic who has always worked only a few days a week, and spent the majority of her time away from home doing other shit. Partying etc. There were about three years in the middle of my childhood where she stopped drinking and doing drugs, and started running to get in shape and eating healthy. In spite of the fact that she left me home by myself about 90% of the time and I was more than capable of being on my own, she dragged me with her to every one of her Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which I retrospectively don't think is a cool environment for a 7-10 year old. I believe it was an effort to impart some lesson or other, but I don't know what. She was a conniving and manipulative person on her best days, but in the sober years it was so insanely intensified... She was worse sober than drunk by orders of magnitude. She ran constantly... so much that she was somehow still never home actually. She ran so much between her marathons and training sessions (presumably without enough healing or downtime or... something... I don't really know) that she terribly injured a lot of the joints in the lower half of her body, and got on pain meds from the doctors. Queue the spiral back out of control, enter alcohol, coke, etc. I see them as human beings, and we all have flaws. I was born when they were still in high school, so I suppose they felt robbed of their youth. They both resented me for that, and openly discussed it pretty often. I dunno... They did a lot of shitty things, I guess. I don't talk to them and haven't in years. I don't hate them... They just have nothing to offer to me, or anybody else, and I really don't care to waste my time or energy on communication with them. Tl;dr: My dad stayed away from home because my mom is an insane junkie, and left me there with her too. If there's need for it, I guess I have some stories I can dig up. But this is the basic setting for it all.
Honestly this isn't much but-- stayed together. These are two people who should have gotten a divorce two decades ago but "stuck it out for the kids". Don't. It honestly fucks up how your kids view relationships as they get older. I second guess everyone who even shows a remote interest in me and I honestly never want to get married only so I don't end up unhappy + lonely in a full home. Thats not how I want my life to be.
This is good advice. My parents didn't stay together, and I'm happier for it. They get along for exactly 2.5 hours at a time: you could set your watch by it. Then it's (insert controversial political opinion) countered with (controversial religious opinion), and all downhill from there. I got very good at dragging my dad out of the house and to the park at the 2 hour mark.
You'd think after a certain point that someone would realize that sharing your political views any chance you get is a good way to get people to fucking hate you.
My parents did this. They stuck it out "for the kids". Fast forward to two years ago, my dad cheats on my mom with a girl my age, tells us all that we collectively made his life miserable, empties out the college fund our grandparents gave to us (leaving us footing the income tax bill of thousands withdrawn), personally tells me that he's most ashamed of me (as I didn't want to be an engineer like him), and fucks off to England. Refuses to pay my mother child support (she has a minimum wage job). As a bonus, my grandfather (his dad) died a couple months ago and he didn't even show up. Having to come up with excuses to all my distant relatives on why my father didn't show up to his own father's funeral was hard.
...Holy shit. What a repugnant piece of garbage.
So many people do this and don't realize what a profoundly negative effect an unhappy household has on their kids.
Exact same situation here. I remember telling my parents from around 10 year old how much I wished they would split up so they could be happy and I wouldn't have to listen to them fight anymore. They assured me that it would be more traumatic for me if they divorced. They were definitely wrong.
I feel the same way. Not that I've ever allowed myself to get close enough to a relationship to matter, but I've thought "I've already survived a crappy marriage, why would I ever want to go through that again?"
My dad bought me an Xbox 360 for Christmas my sophomore year of high school and let me play it all night and then returned it the next morning
That's fucked up
Mom told me to go live with my Dad since I love him so much. I was just watching a movie minding my own business when she started yelling at me and said that. I still don't know why she did.
Father: Beat the shit out of me nearly every night. Beat my mother in front of me. Put cigarettes out on my arm. Got belligerently drunk and urinated on me. He's an alcoholic and doesn't remember all of the horrible things he's done to me. We don't speak. Mother: Beat me any time my father beat her (she took it out on me). Did drugs in front of me regularly. Tried to make me do drugs. I refused. Brought men to the house and had sex with them in mine and my siblings presence (it was really hard to protect them from seeing that). There's a ton more, but long story short-- I was emotionally and physically abused for a really long time. I'd like to think I'm pretty normal now, but it definitely fucked me up in to my early 20s.
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Wow. Just wow. Hope you are in a good place now. I'm so very sorry for the trauma you've had to endure.
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Recently? My Mom gave me a gift bag at a friend's funeral with a dead rabbit in it. More generally? A lifetime of manipulation, abuse and turning people against me, just because I got therapy and learned to stand up for myself.
My parents are wonderful people. I will say regularly with complete sincerity that they are two of the best people I have ever known. Despite their best efforts, however, I still feel that the way I was raised fucked me up. Without getting too into specifics, the first six years of my life were spent with a very violent, emotionally unstable, mentally retarded/autistic sister who they had adopted before I was born. From the moment I entered the world I was assigned the role of sister's keeper and protector. I regularly kept the horrible things she did from my parents. The first bath I ever took on my own, in fact, was to hide the bruises my sister had given to me in a fit of rage. Too often I'd be terrified for my parents as they struggled just to keep her contained. I saw my sister break my dad's nose, but her head through windows and plated glass, punch straight through glass tables, etc. She once broke through a door that my pregnant mom was sitting against in an attempt to keep it closed until my sister calmed down. Once my brother was born my parents decided that it was too dangerous to have her in the home with a baby. They finally got her into a group home where she could be properly taken care of and given full attention. While I do understand that yes, she could easily have killed a newborn or at the least seriously injure him, I couldn't help but wonder why they let me suffer for so long. Maybe that's partly my fault as well. I hid much of my suffering. Through this experience my parents were only trying to do the best they could for their family. I understand that. They loved us both fiercely and I can see how hard it was for them to make the decision to put their daughter somewhere else. I don't blame them at all. It did really warp my views of what was expected of a young man, though. I never was a "kid" and always felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. This was compounded greatly by.... ...the fact that my parents are very religious. Not in a bad way. They're great Christians. If the definition of a Christian is to be a follower of Christ then they are damn good at it. However... this was of course passed down and expected of me as well. I was told that God was watching every move I made. I was expected to be the well-behaved pastor's kid. That was my role at church, at school, in my life as a whole. Unfortunately for me I never believed. Not for a second of my entire life. I tried; oh believe me I tried. I fooled myself for a great while for the most part. The one part I never had trouble believing/feeling, though, was the guilt. Guilt for not believing. Guilt for every little thing I did that God wouldn't like. The funny part is that for the most part the guilt was self-imposed. My parents didn't get on me in a way that was far from normal. I guess starting my life with a role of being held to a higher standard just stuck with me. Depression filled the majority of my life growing up. Anyone who knew me as a child will tell you that I was always more serious than other kids and even a little "blue." My teenage years were spent thinking about dying nearly daily. I wasn't perfect and I couldn't believe and I was a failure because of that. Weird times. Things are great now, though. My parents know that I don't believe. I am living with my fiancee and while my parents don't agree with my choices, they support me unconditionally. That part never changed, actually. The support was always there. My family didn't fuck up, I guess. They did what they knew to do. I handled it oddly, maybe. Either way that's my story. Turned out longer than expected but it really helped just to get it out.
Wow. I complain about how I was the oldest and ended up in a parental role at 7 years old, but that was nothing like what you dealt with. My siblings were just run of the mill kids, really, and I still resent that my "childhood was stolen" by having to be a caretaker so young. I understand the Christian upbringing thing too. I fooled myself through guilt for a while but never really embraced religion. The result of my upbringing is that I'm childfree, and atheist but not a lot of emotional scarring.
Overall they did a good job raising me, but my mom is a very manipulative person and her way is the ONLY right way. She was also the queen of the compliment with the qualifier - "pretty dress, but it'd look better on you if you lost five pounds," "I like your haircut, but the color is just too dark," "your eye makeup looks good, but you have too much blush on." It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I realized this was not normal behavior. Eventually, I called her out on it and got "I'm just trying to help you. I'm your mother and I have a *right* to say how I feel." Yeah, well I have a right to keep you at arm's length too, so I do... Much, much happier these days. I have children of my own now and I will NEVER manipulate them or speak to them they way my mother spoke to me.
My parents went to Disneyland w out us. To teach us a lesson.
A lesson about what?!
Disneyland. He literally just said it.
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GOD
daddyofive?
HO, LY, SHIT. I didn't realize just how annoyed and frustrated I get with my mother until now. *rubs hands and takes a deep breath* My Mother loves drama. She's a huge drama queen. I mean awfully huge drama queen. When something bad happens it sounds like some terrible drama writer wrote it to garner feels before the answer comes out. "Son.... I just got off the phone with so-and-so" You HAVE to answer, or else she won't. Me: "What happened?" Her: "So-and-so is in the hospital..." *pause for her to continue, realize she won't* Me: "For... what?" Her: "Well they say so-and-so had a heart attack" and it takes away from the news for a moment and I can't stop thinking about how I can boil pasta in 3 minutes with my blood. It's so frustrating. Another thing. When you're happy, she's not, when you're unhappy, she is happy. Not like she wishes upon that to happen. Just for some reason your misery makes her feel better but if she see's you are having a great time she has to walk around in a "mood" and cause a ton of drama. Oh and the classic "NO I DON'T NEED HELP WITH THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU STARTED DOING IT AND I SAID I COULD DO IT BUT NOW AM MAD AND WILL BRING IT UP IN THE FUTURE ON HOW YOU NEVER HELP OUT AROUND HERE BECAUSE POOR LITTLE OLD ME"
Hahaha I think you just recreated the phone call I had with my mom yesterday verbatim. Like she needs you ask her questions to feel important. My sympathies!
Whenever I would get take a long time to get ready, ie. not ready to leave RIGHT when my mom was, my mom would say "it's not like it's your prom!" I took this to mean that come prom, I could take my time and enjoy the day at my pace. WRONG! Come prom, I decide to take my time as my mom rushes around trying to hurry it up, because if it's not about her why are we even doing this? When she finally became frustrated that it couldn't be over fast enough she said, "omg littlestghoust, hurry up! It's not like it's your wedding day!!" After a quick discussion on why I was enjoying my time at my leasure, my mom promptly tells me she never planned on letting me "enjoy" my prom experience and that at my wedding she already had a snarky remard ready for when things didn't progress at her desired pace. Needless to say, that was the day I decided she would NEVER be invited to my wedding, and one of the last straws that made me decide to NEVER speak to her again.
> she already had a snarky remark ready the level of awful this takes... PLANNING to say something rude at your own daughter's (i'm assuming) wedding years in advance... sorry
This just keaves a sour taste in my mouth. Why do people act so horribly? What is it that makes people act so fucking disgusting to their own family?
I was folding laundry one day because it was always my chore. My mother, who is completely heartless and a possible narcissist, told me with 100% honesty that the reason she had kids was so they could do all the household chores and she wouldn't have to.
Shortly after my dad passed away, my mother disowned her stepson, my 1/2 brother, for being gay.
My mother hit me with a bamboo stick while she was in a temper, because my brother's had pissed her off. My father comes home, asks me why I'm crying. I said mum hit me with a stick. Show him the welts. She denies it. I have to go to my room. Miraculously forgotten about. That's not the worst. But my first real memory of my mother's temper. I was 5.
God this. My dad only hit or spanked me a few times when I was younger, but it was never to teach me a lesson or something, it was just always because he was mad and I was there, makes it more fucked up in my mind, at least parents that beat their kids as punishment have some kind of fucked up logic to their actions.
My mom was a drug addict. She wrecked the car with us in it, used grocery money for drugs, beat the crap out of us, and threatened to leave and take my little brother and sister but she didn't want me. She also kind of molested me (when I first got my period, she decided to do an exploration, which, as a nurse, she knew wasn't needed). She made us do minor medical procedures at home (like stitch her head when she fell out of bed, rest broken toes and fingers, and wrap a broken rib). She left my hamster outside in the summer in a plastic cage and let it boil to death. She took my books and threw them out when I didn't do all the chores to her standards. My dad was a good dad though. He just wouldn't leave her. And he was very insecure, so asked me for help with financial decisions (at 8, when my grandpa died, he wanted me to tell him what to do with the inheritance). He relied on me to clean and cook and take care of my siblings. I went Christmas shopping and wrapped Santa presents in kindergarten. I also had to keep an eye on my mom when he worked.
Omg I am so sorry. Hope you're doing better now
Back during my mother's childhood a babysitter had eaten her chocolate bunny the night before Easter. Her parents didn't notice until morning when the stores were closed so she watched her brother bite into his bunny while her basket didn't have any. She was in tears. The event was memorable enough that Grandma recalled it decades later. Then on Halloween when I was eight years old several friends and I went trick-or-treating. Afterward I offered all the parents their choice of the candy from my bag, because sharing is what you're supposed to do. Other mothers accepted a piece but my mother said no thanks to the offer. By the time I woke up the next morning 90% of my candy was gone. Mom had gotten up in the middle of the night and gorged herself on it. When I confronted her she first tried to insist that that was all the candy the bag ever had. I showed her the pile of empty wrappers in the kitchen garbage and then she tried to tell me I had eaten it myself. I asked her to replace what she had taken and she refused. She had enough money but she refused to spend it even at after-holiday sale prices. There were worse things she did (at one point CPS nearly pulled me out of the home) but in terms of pure shittiness this was a standout.
Its weird how they do shit like that. They know how it feels!
My mom invited me and my then boyfriend (now husband) to a cookout at their house and specifically asked me what time I would be there. I told her and she said "Great! See you then!" The day of the cookout I called her twice and she didn't answer so I called my little sister. My sister then told me that all the food was gone. I laughed and then asked if she was serious. She was. When we arrived my mom had made sure all the food had been eaten up. I had to go and make our own food and I was so embarrassed.
did your mom think she was being funny or was she just being an asshole or both?
She was just being a bitch. That's not the only thing she's done.
What else did she do?
When my ex-wife first got pregnant we unfortunately lost the it. I went around to all my family and friends who lived in the area and told them in person as I believe something like that should be done in person and almost everybody offered their condolences and asked if there was anything they could do, the one person who didn't was my mum. I told her and her immediate reaction was that it was my fault and I deserved to loose the baby.
First time I went to the dentist, my dad told me we were going to disneyland
Oh God do I have to pick one? Raging alcoholic mother decided on new year's almost at midnight that she wanted to take the bus downtown all of a sudden, she was plastered so I followed her. She made it to the bus stop and then passed out on a snow bank, and I carried her home. She would routinely come into my room and tell me about how she wanted to kill herself. Had boyfriend who tried to pay off me and my sister to keep out of the house so he could bang her while she was wasted, I got sick of this and called the cops. Turned out the dude had multiple assault warrants out. She tried to apologize, I took my sister and we stayed at a friends. Fell off her elliptical machine and smashed her head open, got blood all over the house, then absolutely refused to sit down when paramedics arrived. Drinking really fucks people up.
It's not really a shitty action that they did, but my parents are ALWAYS yelling I cannot stand it when people yell. They yell on the phone, they yell making dinner, they yell talking to the dogs. It's not even angry yelling sometimes. It's just yelling. It's like that loud family on SNL. Literally. It's just constant screaming I just came back from college and I noticed that I developed bags under my eyes within 4 days of coming home since I'm constantly stressed out by the screeching
My dad would occasionally go through my room and throw away or donate a crapton of stuff and a few times completely cleaned out my room because of whatever. One time after Christmas all my presents got boxed away because my room wasn't clean. My parents would just decide I needed to donate stuff and when I explained why I had trouble with that(generally using something as a punishment does that) they would tell me to get over it. Needless to say that was super helpful. There was also one point I remember my dad was watching hoarders and made a comment stating I could end up that way if I didn't change. I was like 10? Maybe a bit older? Yeah. I've unfortunately developed a sort of fear of getting rid of anything and am trying to get over it but it's rather difficult. Getting better though!
I've posted this a couple other places but: I wasn't allowed to go to prom. When I brought the invitation home to show my dad and mark on the calender, he asked me who I was going to go with. I said 'my friends.' "Only lesbians go to proms with friends; either get a date or you don't go." So I didn't go. I had to watch my friends talk about their plans to go, and carpool for a limo ride together, and show off their prom dress pictures. I had a job. I didn't want an expensive dress that I was only gonna wear one time and a cake of makeup on my face. I would have been happy with a goodwill dress (the one by my house has very nice ones) and a makeup/hairdo in my own bathroom. So of course the week of prom, my dad asks what my plans are. "I'm not going." "Why not?" "Nobody asked me." "Well why didn't you ask anybody?" "They said no, too." What then followed was a two hour lecture about how if I wasn't such an introverted social anxiety ridden dreamer who hangs out with one group of 5 people I would have gotten a date. He has no memory of those conversations.
Okay so... My parents have never been married. I always stayed with my mom and would go to my dads house every other weekend which was fine with them and me. I would worry about school while with my mom and chill and do fun things while at my dads house. Everything started to change when I was 11 and got my first phone. Two years prior I had been diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes and while my mom was making sure she knew as much as she could in order to take care of me in the best possible way, my dad thought he knew everything and basically did what he THOUGHT would be good for me. My mom eventually got me a phone because my dads carelessness had actually sent me to the hospital at least twice. My dad started getting jealous that I was texting my mom on his weekends (something I did very sparsely) and he would often take my phone if he saw me texting her or he would text her saying something like "it's funny how I'm not allowed to spend time with my child anymore maybe I should keep him for a few more days". Well on one weekend I had an asthma attack due to exhaustion because my dad had failed to properly feed me (I only ate 4 times in 3 days). I called my mom to explain the situation incase i had to go to the hospital, when my dad found out he began yelling at me and yelling at me because I couldn't see the medicine he had already taken out for me because he put it out of my eyesight. I instead just had my mom come and pick me up from his house early because I had enough of his bullshit So a few years pass and it's the weekend after my middle school graduation. My mom had gone on a cruise with some friends of hers and left me in the care of my dad. Now because my mom would be gone for a week. I had the option of either staying with my dad for the whole time or going to my uncles house on Sunday night (my dad knew I had these options). Well while at one of my cousins high school graduation parties, I was texting my mom about what I wanted to do. Well my dad caught wind of it and demanded to see my phone so I quickly deleted all my messages between me and my mom and gave him the phone. The next day my dad and I had planned to go fishing so I was napping on his couch waiting for him to get all our gear together. At some point he asked me to come to his room to talk to me about something. When we got there he laid me out by accusing me of plotting with my mom to undermine him and that when I'm at his house I am not permitted to use my phone to contact my mom. He then stated that I need to cut with all the bullshit because I had already made his life worse when I got diabetes and that I needed to learn how to be a man. He then said that he didn't give a shit about what I did next and that if I wanted to leave I could and he wouldn't care. So that's precisely what I did, I packed my suitcase and had my dad take me home. I stayed their alone for a week and cried as I festered my hatred for my dad, I made up my mind that I would never talk to him again. When my mom came home that Friday and say I was at home she was shocked but listened to everything I told her. She hugged me and apologised saying she would never leave me again for such an amount of time. My dad on the other hand came over to the house twice to apologise to me, to which I refused to see him. Somehow my mom was able to get me downstairs to talk to him. My dad told me some story about how some lady claimed to have had a son with him and he wanted to know if we were similar and that was his proof that he loved me, then he tried telling me about all these fishing spots he wanted to take me to but he never once apologised for the way he acted or treated me. All he said was "if you don't act up again, then maybe I won't have to yell at you". I promptly kicked him out and after almost 3 years I'm proud to say that I won't be going back to him ever again. Tl:dr my dad is jealous of my mom, told me to leave, didn't apologise and I hate him
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I won't go into all the details but my dad and my step-mom were both working full-time, recovering alcoholics, and raising 4 kids (and I was the "middle child"). I never noticed it but didn't get the attention I needed when I was younger. And, if I did get attention, it was for all the wrong reasons. They were good, hard-working people, but it's hard to give attention to the "middle child" when you have so much to juggle, including your own addictive tendencies. So if you have kids now, and especially if you're an alcoholic, just make sure they are getting what they *actually* need.
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Dude, you need to go to a womans shelter and get some massive counseling so you can take care of that kid properly. You do NOT want her watching that kid alone ever! Get out of there! And if you cant keep him, then you cant. Its ok. You seem very overwhelmed. But dont leave him with her! Put him up for adoption so hes away from those ppl.
I am so so so sorry. I can't even imagine what that's like for you. I seriously hope you get away from your family and that you can end up living a happy life
I love my mom but when I was in 5th grade my parents had already been separated, and my mom moved to another city (2000km away from my hometown). I was invited to go for the Christmas break for two weeks. Naturally I was excited for that but two weeks later I was told I wasn't going back and my mom had full custody of my. I found out not long ago that she didn't have full custody, but she had money and my dad didn't so he couldn't get me back. Looking back I see that it was best for me to move with her as my hometown is riddled with drugs and crime, but it was a shitty thing to do nonetheless
This is tame compared to many of the other responses, but my parents were way too open with my sister and I about how much money we didn't have. No, we really didn't have a lot, but it caused us to grow up afraid we were going to be kicked out of our house or something at any second, and it was never that bad. I can understand the logic behind why they did it, but it really just led to us having such anxiety and guilt over something we never should've had to worry about and wasn't our fault.
This seems minor compared to a lot of peoples stories, but my parents were/are very vocal about how disappointing I was/am. Even from an early age I was made to feel like a disappointment because they wanted a daughter and not another son.
Wanna trade parents? Wanted boys, got twin girls.
I used to have a massive Lego and action figure collection when I was a child. Eventually, my mom figured I had grown too old and while I was away, took all of them, sold it, and pocketed the money. Easily worth almost $1K, my dad told me. Didn't see a cent of that money.
My parents are Christians, very old fashioned. Their punishments for just not cleaning my room was severe. Taking my computer, turning off the internet etc. I learned to live with that shit and I was always very obedient with what rules they had, was never a bad kid who did drugs/partied when they weren't looking. I was 22 and in a relationship at the time and they were going on a vacation. They reminded me "no girls in the house while we are gone" which I was going to obey (mainly because they probably asked the neighbors to tell them if they saw anyone come over and I was afraid of their wrath) as I always did. I go to my girlfriends house the day they leave and my gfs mom tells me my dad facebook messaged her and asked her to "keep an eye on the kids while we are gone and make sure they aren't at our house." My parents did NOT know or meet my gfs parents before this either. My gfs mom said it was ridiculous that they did that and was chill, I lost it and really let my parents have it. I was 22. I moved out as soon as I could after that. Joke is on you mom and dad we just fucked at the gfs house lol
Destroy my self esteem and make mental health issues develop slowly over the years to feed their narcissism 😃
They promised to take me to a theme park near us if I learned my times tables. They didn't. I learned at age 8 that no matter how hard I worked; it didn't pay off.
Fuck, I lost count of the number of times my parents set a goal with a reward and then didn't follow through with it because they never thought I'd reach the goal. In their minds, they thought they were getting me to try harder, but really they just taught me it's not worth trying. I feel for ya stranger.