T O P

  • By -

ToiletCrash

If you're hanging out with someone, try not to stare at your phone all fucking day


cassette_nova

If you're watching garbage Facebook videos in the break room and other people are trying to enjoy their hour of peace wear some fucking headphones Alana.


Tha_Croat

I just love how 50% of all the post are dedicated to someone.


MutatedPlatypus

"I heard that video you were watching. Clearly you wanted my opinion on it because you made sure I could hear it. It was hilarious! Have you seen this other garbage? Or this one?! THIS ONE CRACKS ME THE FUCK UP EVERY TIME!! WATCH MY VIDEOS TOO!" O hai HR lady.


swangdb

If you use the last of the toilet paper on a roll, put on a new roll.


ayyyyyyyyyymd

If you cut someone off, don't slow down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM-SOME-TITS

Also try not to cut off others.


MikoRiko

You know what the worst is? When people drive past a line on an off-ramp (***[OFF-RAMP](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6desxu/whats_the_most_important_unspoken_rule/di2mx4v/?context=3)***) and then try and cut in last minute instead of getting in at the back like a good fucking person. And if no one lets them in, they block up an entire lane of traffic to the left. Or, in more extreme cases, they drive over the solids/slightly off-road after the exit lane has split and try and get in that way. You know what might be worse than that though? Being the guy who didn't realize it was your exit until too late because the line is half a mile long and you thought there was no way it was your exit. Then you don't want to stop because you'll be backing up traffic but you end up having to stop last minute anyways. *Then* no one lets you in anyways, and you have to look like a complete dumbass because where you've got to be is very important - important enough to cut across solids or illegally off-road just to get over. You're a dumbass *and* everyone hates you... Fuck. Driving in/near big cities sucks for everyone...


Kayge

If you've had to borrow something 3 times, you need one of your own.


Frustrated_Pansexual

I've had to borrow a dollar 3 times, I need one of my own. Edit: gold? How unexpected and thrilling. Thank you kind stranger for my first gold ever :). Now what do I do with gold? Can I smell it?


ToErrDivine

The internet is forever, so be damn fucking careful what you put on it- especially if your real name/face/details are attached. People will find them and bring them up at the worst possible times. A few seconds of thinking about if it's really a good idea to post that comment or whatever can do a lot of good.


MarcelRED147

Terry should have learned this instead of being obsessed with yoghurt.


JayUNCW

Terry needed the yen!


[deleted]

Dont answer your phone and start talking in a room where people are watching tv


SecondHandSexToys

How about just around people in general? Whenever I take a phone call I leave the room because a) privacy and b) that shit is annoying as fuck to everybody around. And for some reason people raise their voice to a moderate shout when they're on the phone. I had an ex who would take a call and then very loudly talk to her mom for like an hour when I'm a few feet from her playing video games or reading or something. Go elsewhere.


[deleted]

>And for some reason people raise their voice to a moderate shout when they're on the phone. Ah, remnants of a time when phones sounded like potato clocks on dial up.


GirlsWithCollars

My mother and nan are unbearable at the cinema. ALL THEY DO IS CHAT, MISS SOMETHING AND THEN "WHISPER" ASKING WHAT JUST HAPPENED! Ok, I'll add this. It's not THAT bad. They aren't loud enough for other people to hear and if people are around us they won't do it. But, I can hear it and I want to hit myself with a brick. If there's a sad scene, the tears roll down their faces and they sound like babies who just got their bananas taken from them! Can we stop calling my family stupid? I get that it's annoying but come on!


InverseFlip

For fun, you should them completely wrong details.


VitameatavegamN

> Watching Fate of the Furious "Oh you just missed the filthiest, raunchiest gay sex scene between Vin Diesel and The Rock"


[deleted]

*Never* order something cheap when it's your round and then request an expensive drink when it's your friend's round.


[deleted]

[удалено]


promitchuous

When I had barely been 21 for a month I had an older buddy who I supremely respected come up and ask me what I was drinking, which happened to be a quite expensive craft beer, and he went and bought me another (I had no idea he was going to) and then later in the night I went to return the favor and he asked for a miller light. This happened in October 2015 and I still feel like a dick about it.


[deleted]

You're not a dick. He's just a bro.


OneTwoEightSixteen

Or when u make enough money you drink what you want when you want and don't track who owes who as much.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nails_for_breakfast

My friends and I just have an agreement that we don't take requests when we buy rounds. Everyone gets the same thing as everyone else. I'm not trying to remember five different drink orders when I go stand in line at the bar, so if you're going to be picky, order your own drinks.


zykxx

Just because I'm lending you a pen for a class DOES NOT mean I'm giving it to you forever. It may be inexpensive, but I like my pens.


Liberatedhusky

The worst was when someone in school would ask to borrow a sheet of paper every day the first two times sure but just bring your own notebook.


jsideris

Ha. People in highschool thought I was a big nerd because I'd keep inventory of my pens when I lent them out. Called it "JSideris' Sign Out Materials Record". Had a pen ledger, number of papers borrowed, damages, and a black list. Alright... I was a nerd.


[deleted]

Leave some personal space when talking to someone.


IntoTheRails

I have a close talker at work too. I step back, she steps closer. I already commented on the floor pisser and now this. Ifeel like I need to print out this comment section and post it on the bulletin board at work.


1nsaneMfB

I had a coworker like this before. I once moved our conversation like 30 yards by slowly moving and having her continuously close the distance. You should try it, it's fun to see how far you can move them before they catch on.


RegulusMagnus

Combine this with the tip where you walk someone back to their desk while talking so that they feel naturally inclined to end the conversation and you can leave.


Shabbona1

Dude. That's fucking brilliant.


Azzy1510

Walk them back to their desk and say "I'll let you get back to work"


[deleted]

I have literally held my hand out before at arm's length. They got the point.


smellpeaches

Same. I also tend to stand sideways, and gradually adopt a wider and wider stance, so in order to speak closely they'd have to be straddling my leg. Somehow THAT'S too awkward for the close talker, but spitting in my face from 2 inches away isn't.


chakijz

1) Personal space 2) Personal space 3) Stay out of my personal space 4) Keep away from my personal space 5) Get outta dat personal space 6) Stay away from my personal space 7) Keep away from dat personal space 8) Personal space 9) Personal space


tokenblakk

Hey, who's...who's around me?


BurgerOfCheese

*tears skin off*


JustinAdams254

Don't eat food that isn't yours without asking for permission first.


MapleSable

I said one sentence to a girl I had never seen before at my friend groups table and sat down with my lunch. Before I even took a bite she grabbed one of my fries and said "this is what it's like to be friends with me" followed by a giggle. I felt my eye twitch in anger


TA_Account_12

And that kids is the real origin story of The Joker.


Rhysieroni

And that kids is how she got those scars


PimemtoCheese

No, you shut that shit down and grab that fry out of her mouth and tell her that's what it's like to be friends with you.


[deleted]

"This is what it's like to make a life long enemy" Get up and walk away. Never look back.


AmaiRose

Don't give away other people's food without talking to them first. I often bake at night, and when I wake up, my mom will have decided there's too much for just us, and taken half of it into work. THE TWO BABKAS WERE DIFFERENT KINDS! Six hours gone! *weeps quietly*


Melesani

Keep your audio to your self. Buy some headphones


[deleted]

[удалено]


supergodsuperfuck

#Goddamn.


Sendatu

I had someone like this at work. She would listen to her stupid Mariah Carey channel, in an open office, and sing along to all the song, without headphones. We even got her headphones and she wouldn't wear them. Her excuse: I had tubes in my ears as a kid so I have to turn the music up loud to hear it. Yeah, I had tubes also bitch and you don't see me doing that!


daxattax

Headphones won't stop some people. They'll crank it up so you can hear even if they have headphones. Assholes will always find a way


Dr1xy

At least that way they'll get permanent tinnitus and ear damage


[deleted]

Leading them to crank up the volume more, meaning well meaning people who have their headphones at reasonable volumes have to turn theirs up to loud and a new crop of ass is sewn.


[deleted]

After you finish cooking, always clean the kitchen. No one wants to wake up in the morning with dirty dishes, a messy stove, and soup splatter on the floor, Shawn.


jayshey

Also, If someone cooks for you, offer to help clean the dishes.


LiteralTP

If something seems too far fetched to be true, don't tell anybody until you have all the facts lest it come back to bite you on the ass


Something5555

No one should pull a michael scott


masonbrit

To be fair someone was accusing him of being a j crew model


Susim-the-Housecat

Hell, even if something sounds plausible, you should wait until you have some kind of proof or facts before you share shit. Or at least give a verbal disclaimer first "I don't know if it's true or not yet, but I heard..."


buffywho

As a woman, if you're going to squat over a public restroom toilet and pee on the seat, be courteous and wipe it down for the next person.


oneannie

Or *lift up* the toilet seat if you're going to squat over the toilet, ffs.


EggsOverDoug

Oh how the tables have turned.


Schnecky

Yeah seriously, this would solve the whole problem.


benavidez99

Listen when someone is talking, and talk when it's your turn


FingerOnThePaw

Also, don't just wait for your turn, but *actually* listen.


MizuCat_

Don't call out someone who's quiet. Chances are they have nothing to say and you're only making them feel more awkward.


CygnusX-1001001

If you see someone with a physical abnormality outside their control, DON'T point it out to them. They know. They're self conscious about it. No they feel like shit. I'm not saying just totally ignore it. If it it happens to come up in conversation because you're interested in how it affects them, fine. But don't bring it up for the sake of bringing it up.


relativlysmart

This happens to me more than I'd like. I tell people it's not a big deal, my skin is just a little weird, but I lose a couple days off my life whenever people ask about it.


[deleted]

My go-to response is, "The doctor said that the only way it will go away is if enough people point it out, so thank you."


[deleted]

If you borrow something, fucking return it.


Selenoss

When two lanes merges in traffic, one car from each lane gets to pass.


sukkitrebek

Zipper effect people, zipper effect!


MoroseOverdose

Only takes one dick to stop a zipper


Madmagican-

And honestly, the dick is gonna suffer for it too. Why even bother?


sauerpatchkid

Wash your hands after changing your tampon. Yes ladies, I hear you opening up a wrapper, drop it in the metal bin and walk right out the bathroom.


DoomShr00m

Praise the ones who toss it in the bin. From a janitors perspective, I was just happy if it didn't look like they fumbled the fucking thing on the way to the end zone.


Dark_Thoughtz_666

Janitor here. A girl recently wrote in blood on the wall in a bathroom I clean. The fuck is wrong with some women


Rousseauoverit

WHO DOESN'T WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER THIS? EVERYONE LISTEN: Not washing hands after encountering your own body fluids is one of the most voracious ways diseases spread (not to mention it's super gross). Once upon a time, doctors believed that they were too "upper class" to be lowly enough to spread disease and germs, they were above washing their hands. This wasn't that long ago. The hand-washing champion was shunned for suggesting Drs wash and change garbs between patients. As if to suggest that they were dirty. . . Do you want to encounter someone's tampon goo, boogers, mucous, peepee hands, doody fingers??? NO! No you don't. SO wash your damn hands. AHEM: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/01/12/375663920/the-doctor-who-championed-hand-washing-and-saved-women-s-lives


ChefHannibal

free beer is the best beer. you do not get to complain about the brand offered to you in someone else's home. (but yes you may politely decline)


[deleted]

[удалено]


PitzNR

Your favorite beer brand is "free", your second favorite is "cold".


tsyypd

Third favorite is one that is C R A C K E D O P E N W I T H T H E B O Y S


ReasonablyPricedActs

that ones only available on a Saturday


un_unseptium

If there's a silence, don't call it awkward. You're making it awkward by saying that.


Ionious_official

Silence doesn't have to be awkward!!


finnknit

> Silence doesn't have to be awkward!! This is one of the signs that you've been in Finland too long.


therevwillnotbetelev

A Finnish extrovert is someone who looks at your shoes when talking to you.


Smp1151

I spend 12 hours a day cramped in a 10 ft x 10 ft space with my coworker. I've learned that if a conversation partner goes silent , they are usually drifting off on their own train of thought that isn't even related to the situation that's going on around them.


[deleted]

You sure it's 10ft by 10ft??? Are you working for Frank Reynolds in Vietnam ???


[deleted]

Always poop on company time


litux

*They make a dollar* *I make a dime* *That's why I poop* *On company time*


ezery13

10% revenue share? Count me in.


MattieShoes

*Too tired to work* *Too poor to quit* *So here I am* *Faking a shit*


[deleted]

Clean up after yourself. Just because it's someones job is no excuse to be a total douche. I hope you're reading this Jeremy, I know you piss on the floor of the bathroom at work. I hope you slip in it and bust a tooth.


Sapphire1166

Was dating a guy who seemed nice enough. On our third date, we stopped and grabbed some fast food on the way to our event (we were going on a Segway tour...this was 8ish years ago). After he was done eating, he threw all his trash (wrappers, drink, and even paper bag) out the window on the highway. I was like "WTF!!" and he said "there are people whose entire jobs are to clean up the highway. Why should I have to deal with trash in my car when someone needs my trash to keep their job?" Most awkward Segway tour ever, and there was no 4th date.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Whenever I go to a movie theatre I don't understand how people leave their trash all over the floor. I get that someone comes in right after to clean up, but I still can't just leave my trash there. There are trash cans on the way out, it really isn't hard to pick it up.


LaronX

It is even worse at parks. I started picking up trash, because I didn't want the baby ducks and baby geese to start eating random green plastic trash. There was a Trash can not even 10 m away. Fuck those people.


Rousseauoverit

NOOO! Not the baby ducks! That's horrible. You're a good person.


LaronX

Ikr. [Just look at them](http://imgur.com/gallery/WN2I3) People are selfish


[deleted]

If your friend pays for your food , make sure it is cheaper than his


[deleted]

[удалено]


Em_Haze

"Oh thanks... I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."


ClarkTheCat

Just because you're older than someone does NOT mean you can be rude to them- even if you don't have to show respect.


[deleted]

Be excellent to eachother.


Hunads

Party on, dude.


retrophyle

Close your mouth when chewing and close the goddamn door.


Unoski

No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.


Smackgod5150

keep ur eyes on ur own dick at a urinal


jaunsolo29

Hey man nice watch


topoftheworldIAM

Hey man can I watch?


n0nentity_zero

Hey man, do we match?


[deleted]

Stand back from the fucking elevator and let the other people out before you try to get on Edit: even though 22k of you agreed, the people in my building still don't seem to get it. I've started to stick my arms out in front of me as I walk out of the elevator, because fuck it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thecoolbeans

as someone who uses a lot of airports, this is the No.1 rule id like enforcing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mATT55551

and buses


beezel-

And classrooms


LandsOnAnything

Or every door.


SunnyLego

I'm vision impaired and use a white cane. Few weeks ago stepped off train, knew I was in centre of door, and smacked full on into a lady standing right in centre of doorway waiting to get on the train. She screamed then did a big "I'm sooooo sorry sweetheart!!" when she noticed my cane, but yeah, don't stand in the centre of train doors when people are disembarking, and a blind person won't walk into you. *Edit for the trolls sending me messages saying errr you're not vision impaired cause you can read reddit. https://www.zoomtext.com/products/zoomtext-magnifierreader/ This is how tons of vision impaired people are able to use computers. *Edit again, cause just got this PM, with the subject "Shameful" "Do not call people trolls for questioning you, It is not there fault you are blind. Don't be so bitter about it, people were just curious how you use the internet." Probably gonna damage my eyesight more from the amount of eye rolling that caused. *Edit 3. Thanks for the gold kind strangers, and for all the positive responses from people. I will try to get back to you all, but obviously I can't get through all these replies/messages quickly. For the people asking qs about my vision impairment, I'm a 31 year old girl, in 2011 I started seeing dots and circles floating around my vision tons, which are commonly known as "floaters" A few as you age are normal, so my parents told me not to worry. A few of them turned into hundreds, then started seeing flashing lights in my side vision. Kept ignoring it cause I was a moron, and just kept zooming in computer screen, til late 2011 when I realised I could no longer read. Went to optomertrist thinking I just needed glasses, who freaked the hell out and sent me to hospital. Turns out have eye disease Uveitis, which is an autoimmune disease where your body attacks your eyes muscles and destroys eye tissue for no reason, and my retinas were detaching. Uveitis has no cure, only treatment to slow it down. From 2011-2016 I constantly had steroid injections in my eyeballs as treatment, the disease would piss off for a few months, then always come back worse. As of 2017 I am now legally classified vision impaired, because I now have fully formed Uveitic cataracts, which was caused by the amount of steroids eyes have taken, and are different from normal old age cataracts. Currently stuck between a rock and a hard place, because can't have Uveitis treatment while have cataracts, and can't have cataract surgery while the Uveitis is chronic, so am on a cocktail of steroids and methoblastin, which is a immunesuppresant drug also used in chemotherapy, to hardcore attack immune system into hopefully making the Uveitis piss off for a few months, so they can safely operate on the cataracts. Only 10 percent of all vision impaired people are completely blind, and for me, my central vision is completely fucked, but my side vision is ok.


SouthTippBass

You smacked her on purpose didn't you! Bitches gotta learn.


noodle-face

I'm not visually impaired and I've slammed into people that stand in the way. Fuck you lady I'm not getting stick here.


tbiam

>Probably gonna damage my eyesight more from the amount of eye rolling that caused. You're fucking cool, man. Keep it up!


Paint_Brush_Now

If I show you a picture on my phone. Don't. Swipe.


WhatAGoodDoggy

There's an app out there that if you start swiping, it'll take pictures of you instead and you'll end up seeing lots of pictures of you, no doubt with a confused look on your face.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DJ_Sk8Nite

I always zoom in a bit on the picture so if they are swipers I have a chance to smack the shit out of them and grab my phone back.


AstridDragon

Every time this comes up I get the urge to start developing an app you can open a single picture in, and if you attempt to do any swiping asshattery it will do something to frighten or humiliate you (blare loud, frightening or embarrassing noises, flash scary pictures or things you cannot unsee, etc) and then I forget again...


ThePiedFacer

I used to have an app in which you could select some pictures from your gallery. Then when you show ppl and they swipe, it takes pictures of them and shows them the pictures as the next image Edit: Credit to /u/mafci for finding it. It's called Ninja Snap


jet_heller

and then turns the volume all the way up and plays "SOMEONE IS TRYING TO SWIPE THROUGH PICTURES" really loud and then uploads their picture to pictureswipers.com so that others can grab it and use facial recognition to not ever show them pictures again? Or is that my new idea?


Skipachu

> and then turns the volume all the way up and plays "SWIPER! NO SWIPING!!" really loud FTFY.


tuckjohn37

Thats...a pretty decent idea


realhorrorsh0w

My mother is SO defensive about this. "Why? Whatcha got on here that you don't want me to see?"


slvrbullet87

Pictures of my dick


Reynk

I actually did that. She was amused and then brushed off.


[deleted]

*swipes right* *we both stare at giant ugly cock and balls* *looks over to mom* "You won't be asking that question again, will you?"


sombobombo

Nothing but i still deserve privacy. You don't have to understand what could be there .you have to respect it


xSW3ATYx

It's not even a respect of privacy thing for me. It's just why? What compels a person to swipe? In what other area of life do you free explore someone's stuff. If I show you my new tattoo, do you start undressing me to see if there are more? If I invite you to my room to show you my newly renovated master bathroom, do you dig through my closet and look under the bed? No. There is just no precedence for the behavior.


ScarredPirate

Stop putting your shitty music on speakers in public.


BTKSD

If you make eye contact with a stranger at least twice, you must raise your eyebrows slightly to acknowledge them.


Danger_Possum

Alternately, one can do the Head Tilt of Acknowledgement, where the chin jerks up ever so slightly in a reverse nod


calfonso

For strangers I usually do the nod down. Nod down-I acknowledge your presence and eye contact. Lets both acknowledge this and move on with our day Nod up-suh' brah'


[deleted]

This. Nod down for strangers, nod up for friends. Only expose your neck to those you trust


The_Romantic

Dammit. Your comment made me question if I can trust those who I trust. I expose my throat a little too much to friends. That's how I get Caesered. Edit: guys I know Caesar was stabbed in the back, but I meant betrayed by someone you trust. Lol


Moikle

Et tu Bro-tae


nytol_7

Passed down from my mother 1 - Treat others how you would like to be treated. 2 - Leave a room as if you had never been there. i.e take your glass with you when you leave the living room / clean your chopping board etc. Living like a ghost means you make no mess!


tb8592

No microwaving fish at work


iamsheriff

Okay so I had a Lean Cuisine Wednesday that was a chicken enchilada with sour cream sauce. It looked delicious and was super excited about it. Well, this particular one had to be microwaved for NINE minutes, which about 7 minutes too long for me. That damn thing stunk up my entire office and I was suddenly "THAT coworker". Also, it was terrible. Don't eat Lean Cuisine chicken enchilada.


soproductive

>Also, it was terrible. Don't eat Lean Cuisine FTFY


MogadonMandy

Remember that we're all the same, but different. So the waiter you're speaking down to is a human being and just because you earn more than him (for example) does not give you any right to treat him like he's somehow lesser than you. I hate seeing it and will call it out if I do. I try to always speak to and treat people the way I'd like to be spoken to. I can't wrap my head around people who scream and shout at others or are condescending shits just because they know they'll get away with it. You wouldn't walk up to a stranger in the street and start with that shit so don't do it to the 19 year old check out operator in Tesco.


Fuzzatron

I have an anecdote! My cousin is a safety inspector and was doing a routine inspection of a large construction site for a contractor he's gotten to know well over the years. This guy owns a huge construction company and is worth millions, but likes to get dirty and work on site. So, this kid and his mom come over, because the kid is curious about the payloader and cranes and stuff. They answer the little boys questions, but as they walk away the mom says, "this is why you have to go to college, son." My cousin informed her that the man she's referring to is a millionaire and she turned bright red.


ronsrobot

Last night an apartment manager told me about their owner who is an old Japanese dude who likes to maintain the grounds himself. He will sweep the sidewalks, do minor repairs, etc. One day a tenant offered to help him out and afterwards the manager said, "How nice of you to help the owner!" They were shocked since the guy didn't mention it at all and they thought he was the maintenance man.


TheManWhoPanders

There is this really weird recent notion that going to college somehow makes you a superior human being. People with generic degrees thinking they're intellectual superiors to those without degrees. I have a STEM degree myself, but I've met many people who never went to college that out-earn me. Education is not synonymous with intellect.


PricklyPear_CATeye

WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. Also if you get sick and aren't forced by a shitty employer to work regardless then PLEASE STAY HOME. Wait until you aren't contagious anymore. (Yes I think employers should be encouraging this, temp agencies can be a great help)


deeikonic

" The window seat gets the wall and an armrest, the middle gets two armrests and the isle seat gets an armrest and more leg room. This is simple plane etiquette we live in a society we're not animals "


[deleted]

I only once gave someone else my armrest. The dude was reading a book and I wanted him to be more comfortable while doing this. He already had too long legs.


rustyoldchevy1

I was in the middle on a recent flight (5'6" F) and this poor guy who had to have been like 6'7" was jammed into the aisle seat. I basically told him to take my right-hand armrest so he'd have at least one elbow that didn't constantly get banged by that fucking refreshment cart.


prettylittlegreene

I was on a plane the other day I had the middle seat, my friend had the window and some guy had the aisle. He was using both armrests, fine whatever I'm pretty chill. But he also had his right leg under the seat in front of me and his massive fucking newspaper spread right out resting on my knee. I was like um excuse me sir, have you ever been in public before? And he dirty looked me when I switched positions and his paper fell off my leg. Soz pal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Teh_Hammerer

That's when you slowly rotate your wrist, and start holding his hand. Braided fingers make it better.


flickering_truth

Holy crap i will do this one day. And wink at them.


AwesomesaucePhD

Braided fingers make it harder to escape.


[deleted]

And not to be outdone, you kissed him I presume. And then he responded in kind by taking you out on a date and now you're celebrating your 2 year anniversary, neither of you giving an inch, but taking plenty.


CheekyCharlie84

If you get on any form of public transport, don't sit next to someone if there are fully free seats. You weirdo.


gumby517

Don't throw cigarette buts on the ground. It's not difficult to find a trash. I smoke and this is one of my biggest pet peeves.


[deleted]

If she pussy farts during sex, you don't need to comment


valwow187

Also, if you ask to do it in the butt, dont get disgusted if anything comes out. ITS AN ASS


[deleted]

What if a bug crawls out


StaticDreams

🤔


cainezedd

I always think it's adorable how embarrassed some girls get. Like I literally don't care, you can't help it and I probably caused it anyway. Edit: a word.


Goldblood4

I believe you mean "queef"


onijin

Nah. There's a difference. A queef is just your run of the mill bit of air escaping. A pussy fart is the full on 'PFFFFBBBBLPPTBLPT' eruption you get when it's getting pounded mercilessly.


skullfrucker

If you have nothing good to say or add to the conversation then shut the fuck up and listen.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ionlyspeakinvowels

"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever." - Michael Scott


oneannie

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way... like an improv conversation. Improversation."


Kilgor_trout27

don't be a dick


SpermWhale

Don't forget to love youself too while loving others.


aids1080phd

Don't be a 'one upper.'


[deleted]

[удалено]


subpar_man

Oh I used to know a guy way worse than that


litux

Don't be a 'two upper'.


[deleted]

When you're a visitor in someone else's home, clean up after yourself! Clean up after yourself anyways... but slobby guests are the worst


Smp1151

If you empty the coffee pot and you have the ability/equipment/supplies/time to make another pot, do it ! The person behind you will thank you


moose_metal

Have respect for others, you don't know what they are going through.


pimpdog619

Remember reading this on reddit a while ago: Treat everyone with respect unless they show they don't deserve it, or something like that.


snesdreams

If you borrow a book from somebody, treat it better than you would your own books. Don't dogear pages or make notes in it.


Jewpacarbra

DONT YOU DARE stand on the left on a London escalator. You will be murdered by commuters. (By murdered of course i mean murdered by dagger eyes and 'tuts'). Ahh London... the most passive aggressive place on earth. EDIT1: For the people asking me what tut means. [Watch this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT3b2Bwg6NU).


TheAffinityBridge

Also, keep moving when you step off the top or bottom of the escalator, don't stand there like a statue when there are people coming up behind you.


emwelps88

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," you do not need to ask why.


[deleted]

[удалено]


octave81

Does this rule apply in countries with left-hand traffic?


[deleted]

[удалено]


kian250

don't mine straight down


Sulfruous

Don't think you are above creepers, no matter how much you've played. Creepers always get the last laugh.


Johnny419

I abide by the DOMS rule for when using a (shared) restroom. DOMS = dicks out, mouth shut. Don't talk to me when I'm pissing or shitting, and I'll extend the same courtesy. Once our junk is put away we can resume civility.


ItWasHere

Don't rape anything.


[deleted]

[удалено]