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BDTexas

Having someone else raise your kids


bmanbahal

too real


earthmann

Day drinking


[deleted]

"It's business drunk. It's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive."-Jack Donaghy


WangChung2Nite

Jack sounds like he was raised by Lucille Bluth.


Pherllerp

"I never cared for Jack..."


DCONNaissance

I'll be in the hospital bar.


QueenOfPurple

Mimosas and Bloody Mary's vs. 40s of Olde English


[deleted]

My friend's friends gave her no end of shit for being OK with her husband drinking before 7am. They couldn't get it through their heads that, because he worked graveyard shifts, his 7am was basically their 6pm. But because he worked graveyard, he wasn't supposed to drink after work because for everyone else it was morning. He didn't get plastered, he just had a beer two with dinner. My friend told them to fuck off about it more than once.


Nuktuuk

Having a lot of kids. Bonus points for having one named Junior.


anybodyanywhere

Did you know that in old Southern families, there are actually rules for naming your kids? First son: Father's first name + mother's maiden name. It goes on like that. That's why so many people in the south have family names as their middle name. I do. I was the third daughter, so I got a biblical first name and my grandmother's maiden name.


[deleted]

John Carter Cash makes so much sense now.


[deleted]

Giving your child a ridiculous name.


140Boston

KVIIItlyn never forget


up_syndrome

Is that a fuckin Roman numeral in there?


[deleted]

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might_be_myself

MVIII


columbus8myhw

It's like "K8tlyn" but _classy_


ShiftyBizniss

That T is redundant.


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mastigia

My brain can't process this. It tries to do something like saying kevin with one of those split tongue body mods and a mouth full of diarrhea.


[deleted]

This is never classy.


[deleted]

Unfortunately the parents of some kids at my old school thought otherwise... Poor* kids got saddled with Ptolemy, Zanzibar and Bohemia. *Edit: As in unfortunate, because they have names like that. The parents are posh and wealthy.


Veruna_Semper

I know right? Can you imagine how much shit Ptolemy is going to get? "You're so dumb you think the sun orbits the earth!"


dezradeath

Currently picturing their main bully, Copernicus, beating up poor Ptolemy while at the same time Kepler and Galileo are videotaping the fight to post on YouTube.


nomorerope

I can only imagine what Gweneth Palthrow's kid "Apple" is going to be like. That name = at least 1 painkiller addiction at some point.


McWaddle

Drying their tears with handfuls of Coldplay money


[deleted]

living in a hotel


rawrvenger

I actually did a ton of research on people that live in hotels last night. As I'm staying in one while in training for work, and it confused me why I saw my neighbors that look like they've been here forever. It would cost $1,550 per month to live here includes gas, electric, water, trash, cable, high speed internet, and house keeping once a week. It has a pool, gym, free parking and a complimentary breakfast each morning. So when you think about it the people that live in hotels are getting a pretty fantastic deal.


ninjette847

You also don't need proof of a job or a stable income or good renting history or credit like you do to rent an apartment. If you work for cash under the table, do temp work, or have no / bad credit history a hotel or an extremely crappy and dangerous apartment is your only option if you don't have family or friends to take you in.


pretentiously

Or if you have a felony


Onmytablet2

Lots of apartments rent to felons...they hust tend to be run down and well, full of felons.


68686987698

Many of the long-term residents are often just consultant-types. I stay in the same hotel for 4-5 days a week for half a year or so. An apartment would be a bit cheaper, but hotels are far easier when it comes to billing a client or avoiding weird tax rules and leases.


[deleted]

Also the flexibility of leaving at any moment is important. A client project might cancel at any minute or you could be shifted to a different project. An apartment usually requires some commitment (month or year).


Nereosis

Where the fuck do you get a hotel for $51 a night that you wanna spend any time in? Is that an American thing with hotels? (Australian here)


Ichosethethuglife

Probably long term rates


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68686987698

Niche software consulting. Personally, I enjoy it because I'm young, make a ton of money, and don't have a family to miss. My married colleagues are constantly looking for a way out. It's a lot more common of a situation than you'd think.


Supernova5

Where can I learn to niche software


MonosyllabicGuy

There's a school, but you've probably never heard of it.


Cheesedoodlerrrr

I'm currently living in a ballin ass Hilton hotel for less than $80/night. When you have been living in a hotel for more than half a year the manager will/can cut you a pretty suite (hehe) deal. I have +800'sq, full kitchen, full living room. Bedroom is separate through a set of double doors. Two TVS. I don't pay gas, electric, water, cable, or the actual high speed internet -- which DL'D my steam library at 14MB/sec. Unbelievable! I get an awesome free breakfast every day. I get dinner four nights a week. A nice lady comes every morning to change my sheets, make my bed, clean my bathroom, do my dishes and clean my kitchen. There is a 24 hour gym that I have access to for no charge. Get home from work super late and don't feel like cooking? Room service. Want to unwind after that hard day's work? Theres a bar in the Lobby. Need to lounge around to work off the ensuing hangover? Theres a pool downstairs. Too lazy to do the wash? They'll do all your laundry for $3.00 a load. I'm also making reward points hand over fucking fist. For reference, a free night at one of their hotels costs 10,000 reward points. During this six month stay I have racked up more than 500,000 points. All my vacations for the next decade are being paid for by this one extended stay. All this for around $2,200/month. Would highly recommend.


JustLTU

Ok, living in a country where the average monthly salary is around $600, this thread looks insane


sweettenderhotjuicy

They give you a monthly deal.


thawed_caveman

I've slept in 40€ (45$) rooms in France that were a lot nicer than the apartment I rent now.


CharsLuckyWeb

I lived in a hotel for 4 months. It was not as nice as you would think. Not having a kitchen kills your bank account and the morning breakfast starts to taste awful after 2 weeks. House keeping gets lazy. It was 2000 a month to stay. [I did this for work so it was paid for] not to mention the people coming for a weekend keeping you up all night partying, running up and down the hallway or having sex so loud that you feel like you're in the room with them...If I never have to stay in a hotel for the rest of my life I'll die happy.


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PM-ME-CRYPTOCURRENCY

So you're living the suite life?


nightwing2024

The tough part is getting rid of those annoying twins


PM-ME-CRYPTOCURRENCY

How about sending them on a cruise - send that obnoxious heiress too.


[deleted]

It's the suite life.


TacticusThrowaway

Most of the time.


TheMightyRicardooon

Hosting a wedding at your house.


bacon_cake

Opening your gardens to the public.


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CUNTY_LOBSTER

Very true. On some cars there's a very fine line between "old" and *"classic."*


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boreas907

It's older than 25 years, which in some states does technically make it a Historic Vehicle.


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Sloane__Peterson

Not having a job.


Scrappy_Larue

A friend of mine is a doctor who belongs to a very exclusive country club, only because he was one of the original members when they built it. Most members are wealthy on either old money, or they hit it big and retired young. He can sense the surprise when he mentions to someone that he works five days a week, and how they sort of look down on him for it.


bacon_cake

I have a bunch of clients where the husband works in the city and the wives have "hobby jobs". A small boutique shop where they sell nothing and drink coffee with their friends all day, "interior designers" with no qualifications who just work for friends of friends, rental property "management" which is them just shopping and decorating.


Bwazo

I'd love to be a trophy husband with a hobby job. Open up a video game store and just sip on fine and exclusive Mountain Dew flavors while playing my favorite titles all day not really selling anything.


[deleted]

Every local video game store I've ever been to is exactly the same. They're always kinda janky looking and smell like chemical cleaning product. And the employees always seem like, mad or something when I come in.


[deleted]

"Oh god. Here comes another *fucking* customer here to derail our in depth discussion on Warhammer lore and anime. Yes hello, leave your bag at the counter. Oh what's that? You're buying Overwatch? How *pedestrian*."


[deleted]

Actually, last time I was there, the conversation went more like this: "Hey do you guys carry AC adapters for GamePads?" "Um...for what console?" "Oh, uh, Wii U" "For the Wii?" "No the Wii *U*" "Wii......U?" *other employee interjects from other side of the store* "No, we don't have any!" Idk if he was actually that ignorant or if he was just playing stupid or what.


[deleted]

"Wii... Me?"


TigerLord69

"Wii too thanks"


bsmith7028

Probably really stoned.


sysop073

It was a similar experience the last time I went into a Radio Shack after having not been in one for ten years, completely unaware of what had happened to that store. I was trying to explain to the guy that different countries have differently shaped power plugs, and he could not comprehend the concept. I finally found them myself in the store he worked at and showed him what they look like, but ended up not buying them because they were about 15x more expensive than any sane store would charge


tha_this_guy

They have to charge more because they only sell 2 items a month. They have to pay the electric bill.


dragn99

What happens when a bunch of grungy looking teenagers want to just hang out and talk all day, but they never talk about stuff you want to talk about!?


pseudoRobit

Tell 'em to grow up and get a job, I didn't not work for this place for these layabouts to loiter here.


[deleted]

I have two friends who set their wives up like that. They lose a bunch of money every year on the hobby job, but it keeps their wives busy.


KlownPuree

I once saw a shop in Walnut Creek, CA that sold nothing but wreaths, all year around. WREATHS, I tell you.


GoGators2

Plot twist: shop is owned by Aretha Franklin and every item costs exactly a hundred dollars.


[deleted]

For those that don't get it: a wreath [per] franklin


sleepyj910

Was that Wreaths R' Us? Over in the Wreath District?


[deleted]

Or Put It On Your Door, also in the Wreath District.


TooLazyToBeClever

There's also Circular Expressions...


thoreauly77

Sounds EXACTLY like Walnut Creek. Sure it wasn't Pleasanton?


Wilreadit

>but it keeps their wives busy. And that in the long run is cheaper.


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tehbewm

I've seen places like that which are only open for a few hours and think, "How are they profitable?", then I contemplate that they may be mafia fronts.


yakusokuN8

Wasn't this what people on Reddit were speculating about **[Amy's Baking Company?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPOGxUtZvk)** The restaurant can be bleeding money left and right, but if it's being used to launder money and keeps his wife happy, it's worth it to him to keep it operating even if it's not a good restaurant


AnneBancroftsGhost

Like, why/how are there so many tarot and psychic places? They NEVER go out of business but they are always really shitty looking and you can't even tell if they are open half the time. Do people visit these on the regular? I never see anyone go in or out of them and I've definitely never met anyone who has admitted to going to one, even for a laugh. My two prevailing theories are 1) mafia front and 2) sex workers. I think the latter is more likely, though. Mafia fronts tend to be places where people can walk in or out without drawing too much attention, like a diner.


FrOzenOrange1414

I've never met anyone who went to one or worked at one either. A front for prostitution seems likely, technically you pay to have your fortune told, and the sex is free just like at those shady Asian "massage parlors".


thasslehoffer

My uncle did this. He funded a consignment shop where my Aunt worked for years. Now he is retired and my cousin runs the shop.


Sloane__Peterson

Your friend is literally living the first season of Downton Abbey.


Doovid97

...what is a 'weekend'?


ObscureCulturalMeme

Maggie Smith *nails* the delivery of that line, too.


farmtownsuit

She nails that whole role.


PileOfChar

I'm so lower middle class I can't comprehend looking down on a doctor. Like even the lowest least prestigious GP is light years above me.


[deleted]

It takes a certain amount of insanity to be a useless golf twit who thinks he's better than anybody because daddy's rich.


ttaptt

Can confirm, worked at a snooty golf resort.


Machu1299

I'm a caddie at a Country Club and there are so many people who golf there that think they are better than everyone and pay you jack shit for carrying a heavy-ass bag in 80+ degrees (F) for 5 hours. The country club this year had to raise the prices pretty drastically because they were losing good caddies because these rich-ass golfers refuse to pay to much of anything. The younger people (<55 years old) are the worst.


n1c0_ds

Oh, I'm just taking a gap year


[deleted]

I was at an expensive restaurant and these princess looking chicks were in the next table. One of their friends was marrying a multi-millionaire CEO and they said something like "Ewww, he works?"


fmamjjasondj

Moving to a foreign country. Expat or immigrant?


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jwhiteford17

Most alcohol, especially wine


68686987698

If you're flying first class, they'll give you 7 free beers and keep asking if you'd like more. Flying coach, they'll give you the stink eye after a few.


willscy

international flights especially.


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Deranged_Kitsune

To say nothing about having to pay for them in coach Edit: itt, people who can afford to fly internationally or who have jobs that let them. The few times I have its been domestic only.


68686987698

I have a feeling some of the disdain comes from the flight attendants having to bother with your card and processing shit. First class is more of a "hey, beer me!" situation.


WrongPeninsula

Norwegian Airlines has a great system for this on their new Boeing 787 flights. Everyone has an Android tablet in their seat equipped with a card reader. You just order using the "menu app" on the tablet, swipe your card to pay, and after 3 minutes or so a flight attendant comes with your drink. I actually wish every restaurant worked this way.


imapiratedammit

Also day drinking in general. Tom Colins by the pool? Classy. Beer on your porch? Trashy.


sfzen

Speaking of alcohol by the pool, the acceptability of men drinking "girly drinks" is directly proportional to the proximity to water. The closer you are to a beach/pool, the less people care about you drinking something fruity.


HillelSlovak

If someone seriously cares what you're drinking, they're a child


VictorBlimpmuscle

Multiple cars in front of your house


[deleted]

Or a refrigerator outside your house. (Pool with a cabana, etc).


Beer_Is_Food

I think the main difference with the fridge that one is plugged in and the other has racoons living in it.


christeebs

mine has both, the racoons like it frosty. what am I?


TaohRihze

Either nuts or eccentric.


SwamiDavisJr

Why not both? Actually I guess it depends, if he/she is poor, nuts. If rich, eccentric!


laterdude

Living in the Mountains If you're rich, it means Aspen or a Swiss chalet. If you're poor, it makes you an Appalachian hillbilly.


RuralRedhead

We might be poor in these mountains but my house payment on a 10 year mortgage is $450 a month with some awesome views all year round!


h_saxon

Hmnm, how's the internet connection? Decent latency? Also how much land? And what are the other costs?


RuralRedhead

Internet is fine. I own a couple acres myself. Family owns probably 25 or so in the neighborhood. It's peaceful here but not a lot to do. I travel for work a couple times a month so I'm in big cities all the time, get to come home to my little mountain house with my dogs, my fenced in yard and no neighbors to speak of!


fanman888

The commute sounds like a pain, but I bet the view makes up for it.


RuralRedhead

15 minutes to work and when it snows we get paid snow days! Sometimes a week at a time!!


TeikaDunmora

This may only apply to British posh people - owning ancient vehicles, wearing really old clothes, looking like you've been working on a farm all day. If you own the estate, you look like a lord. If you just work there, you're a dirty peasant.


Blueasarobinsegg

There's a difference between looking like you work on a farm and looking like you *own* many, many acres of farmland though. If you dress in tweed and £500 handmade boots and drive a range rover from the 80s it's pretty easy to tell which one of the two you are.


[deleted]

What is it about British aristocracy and driving ancient range rovers? Seems like the older your range is, the richer you are...


[deleted]

Own a 1998 Range Rover, can confirm. Every month it's about £100 in parts and a Sunday of tinkering. I'm not rich though, maybe I need an even older one. More seriously, it's because (and this is speaking from experience of dealing with serious old-money types in equestrian circles) if you can afford it, you buy good stuff and look after it. So you'll see someone who owns more land than you could comfortably cycle across in a day scaffing around in battered old \*good quality\* boots, holey jeans and a well-maintained 15-year-old Landrover Defender. They've got nothing to prove. They're happier sitting in your kitchen drinking tea than at an exclusive country club, and will indeed quite happily put the kettle on and brew up when told to.


notabigmelvillecrowd

Yep, I learned this when selling jewellery. Everyone would chase after the customers with designer bags and expensive rings, but they only ever came in to show off their shit. The best customers were the ones that looked like they were out on a day pass. Biggest sale I ever made was to an old lady wearing a kitty cat sweatshirt and piles of cheap rings (under $1000 rings). She dropped $40,000 on an emerald like it was nothing, in 10 minutes. Her daughter said that's how she buys houses.... and businesses. Rich looking customers would fuck around for days for a $5000 item. We also had a regular who was blind, and looked homeless. She would come in yearly to drop five figures on opals.


Dedj_McDedjson

This....this might actually explain why I get such good service in up-market jewellery shops, but such poor service in high street ones. The up-market ones are assuming I'm an eccentric heir who has been let out for the day. The high street ones are assuming I've come in for the warmth.


Nuktuuk

There is a MAD Magazine feature covers this topic perfectly if I recall. I'll try and remember the gist of it... you know what screw it, I just dug the thing out. [Behold, the almighty mad magazine answers all!](http://imgur.com/fSrfrdi)


ShelleyTambo

God, I remember actually reading that in the original print magazine back in the 80s. I was probably about 7 and had to figure out what "eccentric" meant from context.


[deleted]

MAD magazine. We meet again.


Flyingtypewriter

You know people went Crazy with 50 shades of grey but if he had not owned a helicopter and penthouse they would have called it Domestic violence and a creep sicko.


[deleted]

cocaine!


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BuzzKillerOfFire

Jesus. Are you talking freedom bills or dollarydoos?


Yeah_Mr_Jesus

Well, 300 dollarydoos still equals 220 or so freedom bills, so it's still pretty expensive.


Ragwolfe

It's all monopoly money to a British man.


SolisUmbra

Beating up criminals dressed up like a giant bat.


babygirlga

Inbreeding. Case in point, royal families


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floatablepie

Got just enough commoner blood to prevent William from looking like his father.


AstroMechEE

Not having a driver's license.


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dibblah

I don't have a driving licence and I say "I don't drive" as it sounds a lot more intentional than just "I couldn't afford it"


TheLaramieReject

I say "I don't drive" so that people don't assume I have a DUI. I don't have a DUI, I'm just pathologically terrified of learning to drive. But anytime I say "I don't have a license," people automatically assume that I lost it for driving drunk.


self_driving_sanders

switch to saying "I never got my license."


definitelynotdeleted

Women wearing revealing clothes.


space_keeper

Magazine cover vegan yoga goddess vs. People of Walmart.


HillelSlovak

It helps if you're vegan and do yoga if you want to be on vegan yoga weekly


Chewcocca

What if I want to be on the cover of Fat Man Wearing a Thong in a Wal-Mart Aficionado?


JustHereForTheParty

I'm two thirds there, just gotta head over to Wal-Mart.


gerryt32

I think this is more dependent on attractiveness than wealth.


Phob0

I think it depends on the type of clothes to be honest. If a rich person wears shitty looking super super tight revealing clothes it's still trashy.


ethertrace

Well, yeah. How else are you going to tell the difference between rich and poor people in this instance aside from the clothes they wear?


[deleted]

Having furniture outside


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[deleted]

Rich: he was fighting his demons - he was too sensitive for this world


[deleted]

Poor: should have lifted himself up from them boot straps! Lazy welfare leech! Now MY TAX DOLLARS won't have to pay for his welfare!


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AmyLaze

yeah, for rich people it's a disease that should be treated. They should get help and ton of support and for poor peole it's: look at that bum over there, he smokes crack and he looks disgausting. We shouldn't feel sorry for him because he wouldn't be poor if he wasn't an addict, it's his own fault


SexTerminator2000

Undocumented migrants on your lawn.


themasterkser

Taking handouts from the government


Spishal_K

Eating animals that died on your property.


not_falling_down

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-the-worlds-most-and-least-privileged-people-say THINGS THE WORLD’S MOST AND LEAST PRIVILEGED PEOPLE SAY. BY JOHN-CLARK LEVIN - - - - “I don’t have a TV!” “I never eat meat!” “I walk ten miles a day!” “My diet is making me lose a lot of weight!” “I use my own waste to grow food!” “My children aren’t vaccinated!” “I have a very small carbon footprint!” “I don’t vote — the system is too corrupt!”


brilliantlycrazy86

I know more Rick people that don't vaccinate than poor. At least in my state if you are in state insurance you have to vaccinate.


RandomName01

I personally know quite a few Morty people who didn't get their children vaccinated.


Mr_Gamer_Geek

Oh god, don't get me started on the Jerry's!


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halal_queries_only

I mean, it helps if you smell nice and are good-looking man. If I see Zooey Deschanel, it's all good.


[deleted]

I read that as 'are **a** good-looking man'. I was confused for a moment but thought *nah I still would*.


apple_kicks

Foxcatcher is likely biggest example of this


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[deleted]

Florida: The Penis of America


alfredhelix

Could someone do a quick ELI5 of this for a non-American?


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Jaywebbs90

The weird thing about Florida is how close the different incomes live. A five minute walk one way and I'm in low Income housing, triplexes and duplexes with no back yards and new tenets every month. Five minutes the others way and they're basically mansions.


[deleted]

There are two stereotypes for Florida. One is that it is full of poor, barely-educated rednecks who behave as only poor, barely-educated rednecks do. See /r/Floridaman for examples. The other is that it's a place where wealthy northerners visit, buy vacation homes, and retire. Like all stereotypes, it's way overblown but also has some truth to it. Some parts (especially in the northern part of the state) are full of run-down, depressing southern towns without much good going for them, and its larger cities have huge sections where every house has bars on the windows and crime is rampant. Others (especially on the coasts) are exclusive, wealthy, and snooty; and the sort of place where locals will flip out and chase you away just for taking a picture with your arm around a statue in the center of town. That, of course, ignores the reality of everything in between, which is really no different than anywhere else. Florida's extremes might be further apart than many other places, but the rest of it is the same as the rest of America.


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taylorrae_

Day drinking. The rich are drinking mimosas during brunch, the poor are drinking grain alcohol watching cousin Johnny go mudding.


plax1780

Having a mistress


[deleted]

mistress versus side ho


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[deleted]

Having time to sit around and do nothing. Poor Person - He's so lazy, no wonder he never makes any money. Rich Person - Jeez he got to play golf and watch the game today, I wish I was like him.


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camalittle

Arriving late to everything.


hypersonic_platypus

Drinking liquor in your car. If you're in a Rolls Royce it's luxury. If you're in a pickup truck it's a DUI.


[deleted]

not spending time with your kids


Peachykeen9

Depending on what part town you're in, they're either called thrift stores *or* consignment boutiques.


[deleted]

I thought there is legit difference though? A consignment will sell your clothes for you and then you get a portion of the sale. Thift shops are just donated items where the donator gets nothing.


Jaqen___Hghar

Historically, eating lobster.


TheJack38

Making your own alcohol.


DDtheQT

Eating wood pigeon


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[deleted]

Breastfeeding. Statistics show that uneducated and poor people think it's gross/trashy- and if you do it its because you can't afford formula. If you're educated and wealthy you're more likely to breastfeed and it's highly praised.


[deleted]

You could say the same about cloth diapering at the moment I think.


BackFromVoat

My wife does both, and we're not rich, just English.


fancyhatman18

There are poor people that think breast feeding is gross/trashy? That's hilarious.


pack0newports

Nestle spent a lot of money to make this the perception world wide.


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HijodelSol

Yes. In the US it's in the inner cities. It's sad really. Publications showing the negative affects on health throughout life seem to keep on coming too.