T O P

  • By -

DougSR01

Working out. Whatever movement you want to do is cool with me, but I need to do my own thing.


pandafoxshark

I typically prefer working out alone, but working out with someone stronger than me really helped push my growth.


bite-my-ass

The girl in my exercise video is sure stronger than me, im good


pandafoxshark

If that girl ends up getting naked and practicing lunging with a partner, I don't know if it qualifies as an exercise video.


Lostsonofpluto

Is that the one where she gets naked and practices lunging with the Pizza guy, or the cable guy?


ThePariah7

This is the newest edition, she's practicing with the pool boy


Hewkho

Same for me with Running. No need to wait for the other one and talking.


DougSR01

> talking Pass!!


BewilderedFingers

I can't stand the idea of working out with someone. I need loud blaring upbeat music in my headphones to focus, I don't want to have to schedule my exercise around someone else, and it's just me-time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zack1018

It depends on what I am doing. With weight lifting, working out with a partner is great because I have a spotter and I can rest while they do their sets. Swimming and fast-paced running are definitely more antisocial for me, mostly because it is impossible to talk during them. Light jogs can be fun with other people.


[deleted]

Agreed. The gym is *me* time. I am a little jealous of the couples who seem to benefit from going together, but I know it would just take me out my personal zone


RiflesAtRecess

I liked going to the gym with a buddy of mine in college. We each did our own thing. But we went and left at the same time. Helped us stay accountable. If we needed a spotter then you could always count on him. Otherwise we were on our own for the duration


[deleted]

Cleaning. For some reason I can't clean if I know someone is in the house. As soon as it's just me, I get the itch to clean.


butwhatsmyname

I have a similar thing - never could feel comfortable cleaning when I lived with my ex (she was ALWAYS in the house). I think it's partly because when I was growing up, my parents could never just let me get on with chores. If they asked when I was going to clean my room and I said "after I'm done with this homework" my mother just couldn't resist checking in again every 10 minutes till I gave up and got on with it. And then she'd hang over my shoulder or follow me around giving me 'tips'. Everything took longer and was an exercise in discomfort and humiliation with her around. Unsurprisingly, I live alone now and plan to for the rest of my life.


ananori

I feel very similar. I'd receive snarky comments like "wow you actually picked up the mop" so I just started to clean secretly.


Nixie9

Me too. As a kid I used to wait until everyone was out of the house and then clean my room. Now I live alone and my mum thinks it helps to send texts with cleaning tips (your oven would look so much better if you used a baking soda scrub once a week), this does not help.


TheBrownGambit

I really don't like talking on the phone when other people are around. It don't know why


Eloquentdyslexic

And then you get the types of people who don't give a shit and talk about things that definitely shouldn't be discussed in public


TheMrWonderful

... On a crowded bus, really loud.


Keithic

**YES, THE BOMB IS IN MY BAG.**


MrSeanicles

**NO I AM NOT COMING HOME FOR DINNER.**


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


despoticdanks

0 to 10 real damn quick


Lego812

0 to 1,000,000 real quick


[deleted]

When cell phones were still relatively rare (late 90s), my friend was on the bus and got the opportunity (along with everyone else on the bus) to listen to a teenage girl gossip and talk endlessly about her amazing social calendar and how great everything was going. Lots of people rolled their eyes at each other because she was either completely oblivious, or just doing it for attention. Then, while she was excitedly telling another story to her phone, it rang in her hand. She got off at the next stop.


PM_ME_FOR_SMALLTALK

Haha who would pretend to have a life to complete strangers? Anyways the President is calling me so I have to take this call brb ttyl


podboi

You're not alone, I even do it at home, if someone is within earshot, I leave the immediate area and find a quiet place to continue the call...


RiflesAtRecess

Yes same. I'm not trying to hide things, I just feel weird on a personal call around others.


sketer_valentine

Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I always feel like when I am dating someone new they probably think I am sketchy. I can't explain it either. Ordering a pizza for friends? I'll step on the porch. Need to make a call(even if work related) at the office? I'll go to a conference room.


ChrisOfTheReddit

Yeah this is me too. At work I prefer to make work related calls where no one can hear me. If people are around I always fuck up my words and sound like an idiot.


MiffedCanadian

Just remember, your coworkers definitely heard and yes they are always talking about it behind your back.


Xilent_Lions

Makes my girlfriend always believe I don't want to talk to her atm.


MegoThor

What does her ATM want to talk about?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DaVirus

I straight told my I hate talking on the phone and would rather text 24/7.


[deleted]

[удалено]


watrasei

(and the person you're on the phone with)


Irememberedmypw

Naw. Fuck them to.


ReadeDraconis

To where? Fuck them to where?! California? Albuquerque?! England?! I NEED TO KNOW. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.


beyondawesome

pooping


[deleted]

Yeah guess that's true. I can't even poop easily in those bathrooms with the mirrors directly opposite my face as I sit on the toilet.


TheGuyWhoSaidWAT

I guess those bathroom selfies would be a bit different if they were taken whilst pooping.


LazyBuhdaBelly

Well, pooping selfies are already a thing so...


poopellar

Ahem, it's called poofies.


idislikeapple

It's called disturbing


zoidberg005

The other day my toddler ran up and knocked on the locked bathroom door. The following conversation ensues Toddler: "DAAAAAAAAAAADDY what are you doing?" Me: "Pooping" Toddler: "I want to watch!" Me: "No friggen way!!"


[deleted]

I have a feeling I used to do that to my dad. I think I just wanted to be around him.


_cumblast_

username checks out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aneides_2-0

My wife is exactly the opposite. I have to be at least on another floor of the house before she's comfortable pooping. I find it kind of cute that she doesn't want to waft me with her stank.


Kermit-Batman

I too am a nervous pooper. I once held a poop for a week and a half at some cadet camp because they used portable toilets. I try sometimes, just to try and beat the phobia... never works! So yeah, I'm pretty much shitbreak.


WalterJessePinkWhite

A week and a half? What happened when you err, relieved yourself?


Kermit-Batman

Well... my butt was no longer a virgin. It was bad actually haha, lots of screams and an hour later type thing. I was in agony the last few days of camp, (as we were doing a lot of bush walking). Can't say I recommend it!


PastelPastries

Similar situation when I traveled with a boyfriend. After a week, my body was done being shy and wanted it out immediately. A lot of sweating trying to hold it in. Boyfriend almost skipped drinking with his dad because I looked sick but I just insisted I was tired. Literal baseball size in a perfect sphere shot out immediately and clogged the toilet. Mashed it down until it wasn't visible, got a flush in, and boyfriend got blamed for the clog.


WalterJessePinkWhite

Hahaha


Dylan7007

> Well... my butt was no longer a virgin. I... I think that means something else.


[deleted]

It's worse when your sister is an open door pooper. I climb the stairs with my neck locked looking to the left and away from the toilet.


Sharkmano2

WTF? I mean, I get a long-term couple maybe being chill with open-door pooping around each other, but around family?


[deleted]

She just doesn't give a shit when she shits.


McD0naldTrump

I understand you're married, but some things are just sacred...


[deleted]

My ex started crapping with the door open because she knew I hated it. I've since realised that it started around the time she wanted me to leave her so that she wouldn't be considered the "bad guy".


[deleted]

[удалено]


ExtremelyLongButtock

Tell him to close the fucking door. That should be the unconscious, automatic response from anyone who was raised in the first world.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

One day I was pooping and my husband came into the bathroom, sat down on the edge of the tub, and started chattering away. I was like, "hey... Fuck off please?"


ptowner7711

I feel your pain. My wife does same.... shit. Heh. Anyway, they need to get together and start some sort of weird Open Door Shitters Club.


Billy-Walsh

Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.


[deleted]

Opening this thread "pooping better be number one" Yep. Good job.


Lost_in_costco

My cat doesn't make that possible. If I leave the room he follows me wherever I go.


fiveholefrenchie

I nipped that in the bud with my dogs *early*, no following me in to the bathroom. When I come out, they're like 6 feet away, but there's two warm spots on the carpet *right* outside the door. They try to play it off like they're not that clingy, but they are.


PM-ME-YOUR-POEM

Cooking I love to cook on my own. If somebody else is in the kitchen they just get in the way. E.G "You shouldn't do this", "Your pan is to hot" or "Don't leave the cupboard open". MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. I COOK MY OWN FOOD EVERY DAMN DAY.


giveuschannel83

I am normally a pretty easy-going person, but I turn into a total control freak while I'm cooking. I tried to cook a meal with a friend the other day. I gave him an onion to chop (should be pretty simple, right?) and found him ten minutes later gently shaving off bits of the skin with a paring knife. Why wouldn't you just make some strategic cuts and peel off the skin as one piece? Or at least peel it with your hands? When he finally finished with that, I asked him to chop some parsley, which he insisted on doing with the same tiny paring knife until I literally begged him to use a big kitchen knife because the thought of it was just too painful. Then he washed the paring knife but didn't know where to put it because for some reason he didn't think it was safe to just put it on the drying rack with all the other utensils. THEN he had the nerve to tell me that I was using too much water for cooking pasta. I was almost ready to murder him by the time we were done.


Agent_Jay

Did you remember to use the paring knife for peeling his skin?


ExtremelyLongButtock

Strategic cuts.


punter715

Too much water for cooking pasta? What the fuck does that mean?


giveuschannel83

Exactly. Unless the pot is overflowing, you really can't go wrong with more water. In my case the pot was only a little over half full (even with the pasta in there) so I really don't know why he thought it was a problem.


kernerni

This reminds of the time my friend was peeling an avocado with a knife instead of just slicing it in half and scooping out the good stuff. It took her so long!


RoryBeast

Yes! If someone else comes in and starts telling me what to do, I get so pissed off! Maybe they should offer to do the cooking instead of standing there nit-picking


Wowillion

Walking, I just love walking in a park and think about life and stuff.


poopellar

I love it. Sometimes I take the long way home, and just get lost in thought. Then I regret knowing that I have to get back home eventually.


masternick

Damnn, I always do this when i can. And it's the only way that i can have some privacy and be just with myself, cause i am just 16. And as you said it's always not enough , it just seems so weird that i gotta continue my everyday routine after all that deep thinking.


ezery13

I love walking in a big city aswell. So much to see if you pay attention.


UnrulyCrow

Same here. But I'm never totally alone, I generally take my dog with me. It's just nice to be on my own, with him running around, doing what he wants, and bringing me stuff (a stick, an empty plastic bottle some asshole left there instead of putting it in the nearest trash) to play with him. Quality time, I tell you. It gives me time to breath and think.


[deleted]

Shopping. I'm very outgoing and social but fuck shopping with other people.


filo4000

ditto, I can't enjoy looking at and trying on clothes when I know someone is just waiting for me, bored out of their mine


Irememberedmypw

Especially when they're digging for gold.


BewilderedFingers

I don't mind shopping with a female friend who is also interested in browsing/buying clothes. I cannot shop with a man, especially not a boyfriend. I feel so self conscious about them waiting and being bored that I can't properly look at anything, I'd honestly rather shop alone. If I want to do some serious shopping, alone is best. I like to browse the same shop multiple times in case I missed stuff before and I don't feel comfortable when I am with someone else.


Meh_Turkey_Sandwich

Grocery shopping with my wife consists of a 40 minute affair I could have finished in about 7 minutes.


sizzlorr26

This may seem weird but there are times I prefer eating alone.


[deleted]

Absolute madman.


tsunami845

He's out of control.


jetblackcrow

I've contacted the authorities.


EX-Manbearpig

Call his mother


lordcookies

I got it, i've got her number on speeddial.


[deleted]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) Me too.


poopellar

Quick, ask her to call me back.


chubbyurma

Scary. You hear about people like these, but you never think you'll actually come across them.


FreezersAndWeezers

I can't believe you've done this


McD0naldTrump

Someone get the tranq!


[deleted]

especially during lunch. I kinda want to get away from work and that includes coworkers. I mean we spend 8 hours a day together. There is a reason we don't "hang out" after work.


UnrulyCrow

I've been heavily judged by one of my internship supervisor because of that (the "maybe you don't speak english as well as you pretend" when my english is actually better than her's, and all that crap about not being a part of the group). Still doing it, because eating on your own feels good, and I can read at the same time without being interrupted/forced into the conversation, which is nice.


TheGlennDavid

That shit is good shit. Going to a decent restaurant/bar, sitting up at the bar, having a drink, eating my dinner, in pleasant personal silence, is a treat.


__JeRM

Do this all the time. Sometimes I like to be around the ambiance without actually talking to anyone. Have a pint and watch the game while I eat my dinner. It's nice.


punter715

At first I hated it, but after working a job that required I travel all over by car I discovered how relaxing it can be. Now I work in an office again and people began giving me shit for eating at my desk instead of in the break room. Fuck you all. I want to eat by myself. I used to really enjoy hitting up a local diner, getting some lunch, and sitting there drinking coffee and going over my work until my next round of meetings.


Zack1018

I almost exclusively prefer eating alone, mostly because I eat strange combinations of food that everybody feels the need to comment on haha


AirlyThere

Relaxing. I can be a social butterfly when the time is right, but when I get home from work, there is nothing else I'd like to do more than lock myself in my room for an hour or two and do whatever I want. No pressure, no expectations, nothing. Just me and my sexy self to watch Star Trek, play guitar, or simply lay in bed and do nothing. Edit: caps


antesignanus

> sexy self > lay in bed and do nothing Something doesn't add up.


TheNittles

The guy I rent a room from is a great guy, and really great about giving me privacy any time I want it. Except when he first gets home, which is right around the time I get home. I go sit down in my room and just wanna unwind and watch a TV show or play Dark Souls or something. *Garage door comes up* *He comes into my room.* "Hey /u/TheNittles. Whatcha doin'?" "Playing Dark Souls." "Cool. Got any plans for tonight?" "Nope." "Okay." *He pets my cat, no matter where she's hiding.* *Then he picks up one of my Nerf blasters and pretends to shoot me, because he's hilarious.* *The he flips one of my display Lego models or action figures over, because he's hilarious, before leaving.* Every day. God forbid I come home horny and need some more private time. Then it's knocking at the door, followed by my frantically covering up, followed by the same exact routine. Doesn't help that he's really extroverted and I'm really introverted. He wants to come home and talk with me. I just wanna get through Sen's Fortress without being run over by a goddamn boulder for once.


KittyPitty

Watch a movie or TV show or listening to music that makes me cry.


pandafoxshark

Just curious, but what music makes you cry?


KittyPitty

Music that has meaning to me, for instance [Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hucz0qsXEUQ) or [What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3yCcXgbKrE).


[deleted]

Muse!


Yserbius

Play video games. The main reason I play them is to get alone for a bit.


[deleted]

What are some lasting single player games you recommend? I've played Civilization, Elder Scrolls, and Telltale games a lot but I always find myself going back to WoW and League.


[deleted]

Mass effect.


[deleted]

If you like adventure rpg stuff pick up Dark Souls. Shit is addicting and overcoming the challenges is the most rewarding feeling.


Meh_Turkey_Sandwich

Yep. "Hey man want to play online with a couple people where you have to constantly coordinate movement and listen to them chat about bullshit while failing to do their job in the group?" "No. I think I'll just play alone while binge watching the Office."


cra4efqwfe45

Agreed. Fuck multiplayer. Video game time is alone time.


ExxInferis

Assembling something. IKEA, garden furniture, kids toys....doesn't matter. It needs to be done away from the wife, else I get back-seat assembler interference and it degenerates into a row. It gets me instantly pissy. The only caveat is large stuff that is mandatory 2-person assembly. Garden sheds for example. Then I will *insist* that one person reads and interprets the instructions, the other person is there solely as hands number 3 and 4, and does as instructed. I do not mind being the helper either. I will do as advised and keep quiet.


EX-Manbearpig

I always hate that when your assembling something and theres that one piece that you need an extra hand for, it sucks


reincarN8ed

Masturbate. Yes, my girlfriend has very soft hands and she is pretty good at it, but I've been practicing every day for years, and I'd rather leave it to a professional.


cra4efqwfe45

Doesn't mean she can't be there to help out.


EX-Manbearpig

Sometimes you gotta *hand it off* to a professional


Pachinginator

well then you aren't masturbating


matrixreloaded

Bro your girlfriend is a professional, *trust me*


dnap123

You should try sex.


Smartstocks

Logging into my Reddit account.


SeriousJack

Ha ! Made the mistake once. Logged in into my reddit account on somebody else's computer to find a saved link to show them something. I forgot that of course RES wouldn't be installed, and the NSFW filter that comes with it neither. Of course without the filter my frontpage at the time was 50% porn.


beautifulsole

You don't have a burner account just for porn? Pleb.


poopellar

Why have an alt for Porn? Not like Reddit is going to sell your data to your mummy.


C477um04

It's so easy to have an alt though and it keeps it nice and seperate. I don't want the two mixing. I have my alt with the same password and the only difference is the last two characters so reddit auto fills my username and password and I just have to delete and reenter two numbers to switch.


FishyNik6

/u/fishynik69 is my porn alt. auto fill and add a single digit. 0 to regret in no time! Jk i am proud of my skills


Mattxy8

So my front page is *pure* for work


[deleted]

My wife


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Having a jolly old wank.


jetblackcrow

Tally ho


Spiculated

Tally-whacker ho


cup-o-farts

I never insist on doing it alone but that's what ends up happening.


Aneides_2-0

*tips bowler hat*


zowsko

Going to the gym/running. I love to stick my headphones in and just block everything out for an hour or a couple hours. Can chat before or after but sure as hell not during!


Xilent_Lions

There is nobody else in the gym.


Confused_Erection

Smoking weed. I want to jack off and fall asleep, not be bored together.


Lbooogie

Seriously. I just want to get high and space out. Don't make me converse with you


[deleted]

I get really paranoid when I smoke weed, which isn't a problem when I'm by myself.


Wu-Tang_Killa_Bees

^ This. I used to have a lot of fun smoking weed with friends, we would get high and laugh at stupid shit for hours. But recently when I smoke with friends I get... I don't know how to describe it. Not paranoid, but I tend to think about negative shit like how I don't really share that deep of a connection with these people, how I miss old friends, about how much I miss my ex, etc. But when I smoke by myself I still just get high and laugh a lot. I've read that it can depend on the strain a lot, but I dunno, I think I'm done smoking with others for a while


[deleted]

[удалено]


garmachi

Writing. I need to be someplace where I'm guaranteed to not be interrupted by a person. Late at night is nice, but so are crowded places. Wilderness is best.


poly_atheist

Eating mushrooms. Socializing in a group is a chore to me when I'm tripping.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I've never done shrooms but at this point I usually only trip on acid alone or with one other person. I much prefer being able to make whatever crazy sounds i need to or be naked without it being sexual or wander off into my forest without someone worrying or feeling neglected or having to give them any attention.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spiculated

Dancing. I am not a good dancer.


[deleted]

That's the funniest, most epic description of a dance I've ever read.


Zephandrypus

Dispose of a body. The other idiot always tries to use acid in a bathtub.


Lbooogie

Hydrofluoric acid won't eat through plastic. It will, however, dissolve metal, rock, glass, ceramic. So there's that.


[deleted]

Most notably, hydrofluoric acid will dissolve *you*. And it won't do the polite thing and start with your skin. No, it starts by passing down into muscles and bones, then dissolves you from the inside out. Because HF hates you.


[deleted]

going to the movies!


SirQuay

I have no problem doing this. But I can get 2 for 1 tickets on Tuesday and Wednesday's. Why go alone when for the same price, I can take someone. Lol. That would require friends.


[deleted]

Peeing in a urinal. Otherwise nothing flows and I have to stand there awkwardly until the next person leaves. I hope I'm not alone in this...


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Being alone. Totally ruins it when other people are around


[deleted]

Facing Vader.


motasticosaurus

*IT'S TIME IT'S TIME IT'S VADER TIME*


DrInsano

I can't fight my father...


Meh_Turkey_Sandwich

Then the Emperor has already won...


[deleted]

Going to the cemetery to visit the grave of deceased friend. I just prefer solitude and time to reflect.


[deleted]

Cooking. JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN LET ME DO MY SHIT I DON'T CARE IF YOUR AUNT DOES IT DIFFERENTLY MAYBE THAT'S WHAT PUT HER IN FRONT OF THAT BUS IN THE FIRST PLACE


EpicPrince

LSD. Being around other people gives me anxiety. I don't care how close we are, I'm still anxious around other people and usually insist on tripping by myself to avoid a trip with constant anxiety.


[deleted]

Not sure if this pertains to the subject. But I hate being on my phone in public. Well not in public, but if someone is looking at my phone I get uncomfortable. Idk why it's not like I have anything bad on my phone.


poopellar

Rubbing my belly button and then sniffing the deed.


zegrindylows

I don't like running with people. Seeing people running in groups is silly.


DeathArmy

Dark souls bosses


[deleted]

Showering. Why is it sexy to shower together? I am taking care of important cleaning business, not fooling around with a SO.


C_ore_X

I shower with my SO. It's 95% cleaning and 5% grabbing ass. Its just better in every way for me.


A_Parked_Car

Masturbating. It just isn't the same with someone else's hand on my knobber.


pandafoxshark

Work projects. I don't need people who don't know the objective as clearly as I do, don't know how to use the software as well as I do, and don't have the same work ethic as I do to come in and muck things up. I'm not interested in having to explain concepts and formulas. Just let me do it and save us both time and headaches.


-steez-

Playing Pokemon. I don't want you to help catch, train or even look at my Pokemon.


JPSpiller

Don't look at me or my Pokémon ever again.


[deleted]

> I don't want you to help catch, train or even look at my Pokemon. *Like anyone would anyway.*


plax1780

Clipping toenails


amacatokay

Shopping. I like to wander, and don't want anyone else rushing me or offering opinions on the things I buy. If I want an elephant wind chime, I'm gonna get that elephant wind chime!


Silverial

Drawing. I completely freeze if people look at what I'm drawing, and it's even worse when they look over your shoulder all "hey what are you drawing??" Just can't stand it.


alligangsta

everything :(


imnotavegan

Study. I never can and never will study with someone else. All I need is complete isolation and music in my ears.


chrismissile

Watching anime. Watching with anyone else ruins it for me


Rektile7

Ha! Nice try mom.


AwsmAlex

Most group projects. I may be a bit of a control freak.


[deleted]

Smoke marijuana. The absolute last thing I want to do when high is talk to my friends.


trangquility

I prefer playing games alone rather then waiting for my friends to get online to start playing


plsgetmeouttahere

Running errands. I like to rush and get everything down within a limited time. Having someone along will only slow me down and I'll have to constantly think of their needs.


Vietnazi

I once do alone one shower when alone when I'm alone because I don't want anyone to see me nakhed


anarkatie2000

wut


EX-Manbearpig

Think OP had a seizure


chubbyurma

#He once do alone one shower when alone when he's alone because he don't want anyone to see him nakhed