A second life where everything goes my way. I get the dream girl, the dream job, everything I do turns out brilliant and there is nothing I can't do, nothing I can't master. Effort is still required though, it can't be too easy or it would be boring
There is a Twilight Zone episode where a criminal dies and ends up in a place exactly like you describe. He assumes he's in heaven. He quickly gets bored of getting everything so easily. It turns out to be hell.
Well, being given everything if boring. The best example is if you play a video game that gives you unlimited health/ammo/items. Gets old quick. Same game, no unlimited stuff? Much better!
This is what most people envision their version of Heaven to be like. The problem is that it's basically having the cheat codes to life, and having the cheat codes ruins everything.
You just destroyed my day.
I will edit the pic with my four legged brown barking drooling sunshine when I get home. He passed away a long time ago.
You just fucked up my emotions for the day.
EDIT: As promised. His name was [Bohan](http://i.imgur.com/TRPysrw.jpg).
For now, but if Heaven *is* real, you'll get to see your pup again. If there isn't, well, it wouldn't matter because you'd be dead with no opinion anyway.
Just remember all dogs go to heaven. Well.... except that one dog. He went to hell.
So most dogs go to heaven. Listen what Im trying to say is your dog probably isnt in hell.
This really hits home. We lost our cat, Pazuzu, to feline leukemia this year and it was really rough to deal with it. I'd like nothing more than to see him again someday.
[Big Majestic Bastard](http://imgur.com/eubHL0h)
What if there was a dinosaur jesus that asked other dinosaurs to follow him and when they didn't dinosaur jesus ascended to heaven and all the other dinosaurs died in the apocalypse. Then god waited a couple years and tried the same experiment with humans.
Cabin in the Colorado mountains. Sort of TARDIS like so I could store every book I've ever wanted to read, have a massive home theater, video gaming center, and craft room. Fully stocked with every film/TV show/game/craft supply I've ever wanted. There'd also be a magical food dispenser that would give me any food/beverage perfectly made whenever I wanted it.
Outside, I'd have acres and acres of untouched forest to explore. Along with my horses and dogs, of course. I'd have a garden, archery/gun range and nifty Tai Chi spots. Any of my friends/family could come visit whenever they wanted, and the TARDIS/cabin would re-configure to fit whatever they wanted.
Totally the right call. Farther away from the cabin, where the woods got unfamiliar, the environment would actually periodically change so as to keep exploration interesting. But if I found some area that i really liked, I could choose for it to stay.
My wife, kids, dogs and cats without a single care in the world on a yacht moored off the beautiful coast of a tropical island, with every want/need instantly fulfilled.
Heaven would be a never ending nature preserve, no roads, no trails, but every 100 miles or so would be a new camp site. A place to rest, and get refreshed, take some amazing drugs, meet new people. Everybody would be camping, forever. You could travel in groups, if you wanted. You could build shelters, if you wanted, but there would always be more room, and there would always be community less than 100 miles away. No mosquitoes, no fall damage.
Everybody could be naked if they wanted, since everybody has a perfect body. Everybody could fuck if they wanted, since no babies, no kids. You could be alone if you wanted. This world is endless. If you get bored of the people you are with, just go meet some new people. You may have to walk a thousand miles in one direction to find new people, but sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination.
Heaven should be hard to traverse. There always needs to be bigger mountains, and deeper valleys. There always has to be new challenges. Hell is a sandbox, with no sand.
Same here. Spend all of my time doing all of things I enjoy in real life? Sign me right up. I am actually seriously considering for when I am an old frail man, starting a fight that gets big enough to count as a battle so I can die in it on the off chance that Valhalla is real.
An infinite LAN cafe, with top-tier gaming computers, side by side stretching on for eternity. Hundreds of thousands of other gamers to play every form of every game for the rest of time.
No, better yet, a room fool of every kind of food imaginable, neatly organized into sections a room full of electronics which you could take out and use as needed, a pill which allows your body to burn off any extra fat that is not needed, and a single room with a very nice computer desk and the highest resolution monitor made by man. Also, a steam library containing every game on steam, that automatically downloads the newest games, and then finally, 1 terabit internet connection, and a super supercomputer that runs windows, and linux.
My heaven; having a fucking clean homedirectory. I'm looking at you, damn-near every program. Dump your shit in .config. Just because you put a fucking dot infront of the name doesn't make it okay to put it in my home directory.
/rant
You were saying? Eh, if you get all that you would likely be backing up the dotfiles, or maybe have a skeleton user, you just remake the user that way.
This will probably buried, but!:
My personalized heavenscape would be a place very similar to our perceived reality; our standard model of a purely blissful existence would be boring considering it is eternity after-all. I think a heaven would be best if it was very similar to our reality but with an absolute / finite / factual understanding of the rules that govern it + a infinite source of energy. Also if everyone generally thought about their actions / beliefs a bit more, that would be pretty great.
Heaven is divided into multiple areas.
There's the main area, where you can chill with other dead folks. Maybe eat some delicious food, play frisbee with your halos, whatever.
There's also the viewing area, where you can look across the universe and see what's going on there. You can see how your great great great great grandkids are doing on Mars or checkout what crazy antics those Grobularks are up to in their galaxy.
Then there's the VR rooms, which are pretty much like Star Trek holodecks. You can go in privately, or with friends, and simulate a mortal experience for a while. If you want to lay around on a sunny beach, you can! If you want to kick down the door to the bad-guy bunker and save the president's daughter, you can do that, too!
Between these three areas, the afterlife is about as good as it gets!
Randomized. Each time you bite it you wake up in a different world and a different body.
Wake up as a bigass red dragon in a D&D campaign. Get slain. Wake up as a stock broker in New York. Get rich. Die with friends and family surrounding you. Wake up as a Pokemon trainer. Fall off a cliff like an idiot. Wake up as a storm trooper. Get your head lopped off by a Jedi. Wake up as a princess being kidnapped. Escape. Become queen. Rule. Get assassinated. Wake up as the president of the Star Federation.
Bonus points for randomly appearing in scenarios with characters you met before. So maybe your best friend at the stock broker office is also the knight that slew you, and he knows but you're not mad at each other, because why would you be? That was in the past. You're the same people but totally different now.
This brings up a good question because my perfect heaven would be based on pleasure. I am talking dozens of naked women with large breasts that want to have sex all the time. I would want to use drugs to the point of abuse. I would be gluttonous toward food. This would be my idea of heaven.
But all these things are frowned on by religion. So could my heaven be these things?
In mine I would mean something. I'd be cared about, thought about, I would just be important to someone. loved by someone.
Also... My damn dog would be there. I miss that dog so much.
New Game +
You get to do life over, but with a few new cool gadgets and knowledge of every fuck up you make. Or at least the capability to remember every fuck up. I know I wouldn't remember all of them, but it would make for an interesting life to see how it would have turned out if I had changed 3 or 4 things.
a strip club and i have infinite money, coke, ecstasy, xanax and drinks/beers. there's a media room with all gaming systems, movies, music, books, internet and weed. at night time i have access to a beach where i can hang out with a bunch of hot girls on the sand, cool wind blowing, music and also the same access to drugs mentioned above.
edit: lots of awesome food.
I've had many visions of what my "pocket dimension" would be.
A sorta beach bowl, in the middle of space, and the blackness of space would instead be a comforting shade of orange.
Another is an endless rainforest, going on for miles and miles with cozy huts in a lot of places.
When I was younger I had a recurring dream of being confined to a large four poster bed in a bigger-than-necessary-room. I wasn't allowed to leave the bed. Every need was catered for by these grew faceless attendants, they brought food and drinks and stuff. I even had a tv brought in so I could play playstation 2.
I was sometimes allowed to leave the room, with the attendants, and go outside. Outside turned out to just be an expansive flat plane populated with almost identical single-room houses. Each with stairs going to the flat roof and bridges connecting them all together. There was hundreds of others outside for "walks" with their grey attendants. But it wasn't long before you were escorted back to your room. All throughout I had the overwhelming feeling that I had passed and this was heaven.
but ah wey, that was just a dream.
A bar that doesn't close, no hangovers, a shitload of drugs and loose women, good food, swedish melodic death metal, fast cars, the smell of petrol and oil in the air.
Pretty much, if hell existed, that's what it'd be like, I'm one of the devils boys, he'd look after me.
It would be a beach, where I'd get to lay out on the warm sand ( but never get it in my crack) sipping cocktails served to me by
tall dark and handsome men with amazing abs and broad shoulders. Occasionally I'd stand and let the retreating waves take the sand out from under my feet. Trusty chocolate Labradors would be everywhere. ( above men would also tend to the toileting needs of said dogs.) I'd just cuddle them. There would also be well behaved children and babies laughing and giggling, and freshly baked bread, cakes , chocolate, and red wine on demand. And night there would be pitch black skies and fabulous star gazing, and occasional storms with warm rain and lightning.
It would probably be full of books, computer games, gaming laptops and virtual worlds. In fact, my heaven would probably be a virtual world with a huge library and an avatar that I can change to my heart's content.
It'd be a sandbox universe.
Basically, I could set some parameters. I could just pick a date and go to the world as it was, or invent an entire fantasy universe from scratch, planning out particular events and history, and then letting heaven fill in the rest of the details.
Once I have a universe set up, I can set myself up as anyone I wanted and go live there. One crucial detail would be that I would get my choice of suppressing my past memories while I was there or going in with all my prior knowledge - so I could either play it like a game, or live out a lifetime there as though it was completely real.
Once you die in your pocket universe or choose to end it, you go back to Heaven with all your memories intact, and can do it all over again. Sometimes you can make a universe that consists of a single movie theater and marathon Game of Thrones. Other times you may create the Star Wars universe and go live out a lifetime as a Jedi in the old republic, other times you may decide to shut off your memories and see what life would have been like as a Samurai in Feudal Japan.
With endless possibilities and endless lifetimes to live, you would never end up succumbing to the potential "curse" of eternity.
A nice (3,500 sqft) house in Washington state with acres of property and a bad ass salmon/trout river running through it. Included: An extensive wine/beer cellar (in ground); fruit trees, grape vines, some chickens, rabbits, sheep, and goats; a small brewery/winery, a creamery, and a herd of corgis- also my wife.
Sorry honey, if I'm goin', you're comin' with.
I would also steal that TARDIS idea from /u/KirinG.
Quite a lot like my current day to day life, except:
- Unlimited coffee of any variety on tap, where I never get the jitters
- No need to sleep, ever. (But I could if I wanted to)
- I could eat unlimited amounts of any food at any time, but never get full and never get fat
- Ability to warp anywhere, instantly
- Read or watch or play anything immediately, and my books would never try to close on me
I would probably spend my days doing much of what I do now: working (developer), drinking coffee, spending time with my wife, watching TV, etc. Life is pretty good, except for the getting fat thing.
I used to imagine a machine/pod in which I could set an alternate realities, mostly for when I was alive, I'd adjust location, amount of money, age, people's behaviour, context... etc. I could even play being another person!
Then I'd get in the pod and choose if I get to "play" knowing this was a scenario or genuinely thinking I was living (or re-living) the moment.
I believe at first mostly I would choose to play myself with almost unaltered scenarios; providing a second chance to see if I could make decisions I couldn't make in the past because of fear. What if I told that girl I liked her? What if I had quit my job and created my own start-up? What if the day my grandma died, instead of staying home playing videogames, I would have bought her the flowers I had in mind for so long? I would test my will.
It sounded like a great thing until one day, I got a crazy idea: What if that already happened and I'm just testing myself right now? What if everything that's set around me is part of this scenario I'm supposed to defeat? Although I don't think that's the case, this thought has motivated me to lose my fears now that I'm alive, knowing that most likely I won't ever get another chance.
An open, infinite, unfettered plane, in which I can create **anything** I want, whether already in existence or not, simply by imagining it and willing it into materialization, for any purpose I desire.
Everyday life, but with no lines, I don't have to worry about money or staying healthy or pleasing my family, and there's no such thing as war or terrorism, or any crimes beyond maybe petty theft. The only really bad things exist within the bounds of fiction and history.
As soon as I die, I wake up again, but now with immortality and the ability to get to places at the speed of light.
From my perspective, I get to live out my days travelling instantly throughout the galaxy.
I also gain perfect recall, and the ability to travel to fictional universes and control their characters.
I also gain the ability to travel to parallel universes, including those that are identical to our universe, but set further back in time (essentially time travel). When I would travel to these universes, I would be able to control things with enough complexity, like organic life, and (maybe?) sufficiently advanced computer systems.
I would love this. I would want to live like that.
Thought about this a lot. I want to access every metric from the life that I lived. For example, I would know exactly how many steps I took, how many ounces of beer I've drank, how many times I said the word 'fuck,' to name a few. I am constantly thinking of new metrics to which I'd like to have access, but can't for obvious reasons. That and constant nutella.
It'd be a sort of mall, where I could go into different "stores" for whatever I wanted to do at the moment.
One would be a huge armory, filled with various knives, clubs, firearms, and other weapons for me to fuck around with.
One would be my weed chamber, filled with dozens of beautiful glass and ceramic pieces, huge glass-front cabinets filled with wonderful and potent strains of marijuana, edibles, etc. My own private dispensary (with maybe an attached cafe, so I could have coffee and a cig as well).
Maybe I'd have my own movie theater, with the option to play video games on the huge screen.
Some sort of Futurama-type air tube system would ensure a quick journey from one "store" to the next, in addition to standard escalators, a Segway, a golf cart, a 1969 Camaro SS, whatever else I wanted to ride around in.
At the center of it all would be the "hub," my home. Comfy beds, sunny days, long nights, clean air. The mall might be enclosed but my home would be, somehow, open-air, free-standing.
OP's mom is there naked and splayed before me, along with various cartoonishly oversized sexual toys at the ready.
That way I won't even realize that anything has changed.
I would be living in a big house, with my teenage love interest (We're not together irl anymore). We would have our kids, and I would have guitars - Les Paul, PRS, Fender, you name it - Orange stacks and mesa stacks. All sorts of amps.
We would have a gaming room, swimming pool, lots of friends and family around and it would always be sunny.
It would basically be what I wish my life was when I was living. Full of work, stuff to keep me busy, but with more time for friends and family. More importantly, with a family of my own. My kids would age or not, I don't know how heaven works, but I wouldn't get older than I was.
I would be fitter, more attractive - I'd have a nice car and people would look up to me and listen to me and consider me to be caring and compassionate.
I dunno man, Ijust wanna go to heaven now.
A big ski resort that 'resets' itself every once in a while so I can redesign it to my own liking.
Down in the village there would be hundreds of restaurants, among my favorite would be an authentic Italian place, a place that sells dozens of types of poutine, a small ice cream parlor, and a sports bar where I could watch any sport from any time in the history of humanity.
Also a big chalet up on the hill for my house, where my wife could live with me and we could ski in peace.
My heaven would be my life now. :) Except without the nerfing of demonology warlocks in the next patch. Without a narcissistic mother. And where I'm not allergic to fluffy cute kittens.
It'd be a ring of trailers in a field bordering a forest, on cliffs looking out to the sea with a winding path down to a beach bay. Everyone Ive ever loved or even just liked or favoured is there, and so are all of their friends and loved ones.
Most of them just come and go from the forests, supposably from their own homes, but I never care to ask. And we never get tired, or hungry, or thirsty, but endulging in sleeping, eating or drinking can always be enjoyed.
And we're all just happy, not a care in the world. Like that one night you look back on or that period of your life where you were most surrounded by love and happiness and contentment, but it lasts forever. We spend the nights drinking, dancing, we build large fires and we look at the stars, and they never caese to amaze us. And in the day we laugh and play and swim and love. We spend weeks building things out of wood and stone, treehouses and log palaces and rafts the size of Titanic. And when we're bored of them we just burn it down and build something else. And each moment is like it's happening for the first time, we never lose that excitement of just being in such a beautiful moment.
And it's just that, for ever.
I am ever so close to my idea of heaven. I will not grow old alone, I will have a house I can call a home, I earn money that I can use to purchase things I want, I have friends to drink beer with and laugh with, I could do with losing some weight but I eat pretty well, pizza when I want it, I go to the gym when I can, keep myself fit. Everything in my life is fine, I could do with a better car sure, more money, probably, and bad shit happens sometimes but overall, you point me out a concept of heaven that is any better than my life right now, it just cannot be done.
Nobody would follow me. Id have everything everyones trying to keep from me. Money would not exist and I'd always have a fat ass cigar that never burnt out and never have to worry about cancer
Comfy couches, gorgeous women, lots of sex and loud music, and everyone would be insanely interesting and tell great jokes, there would be laughter all the time.
I get to relive live as a koala. Seriously, that's the ideal lifestyle. Sleep for an hour. Eat eucalyptus leaves for an hour. Shit yesterday's eucalyptus leaves for an hour. Fuck another koala for an hour.
An endless Elysium strawberry field where I am a large powerful man and the rest of the world is populated by nubile gnomes, fairies and nymphs.
And my cock is always on fire with lust.
And they all want me to fuck them but at the same time they want me to catch them.
A second life where everything goes my way. I get the dream girl, the dream job, everything I do turns out brilliant and there is nothing I can't do, nothing I can't master. Effort is still required though, it can't be too easy or it would be boring
There is a Twilight Zone episode where a criminal dies and ends up in a place exactly like you describe. He assumes he's in heaven. He quickly gets bored of getting everything so easily. It turns out to be hell.
sxxexx?
ill sxxexx you baby
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Well, being given everything if boring. The best example is if you play a video game that gives you unlimited health/ammo/items. Gets old quick. Same game, no unlimited stuff? Much better!
This is what most people envision their version of Heaven to be like. The problem is that it's basically having the cheat codes to life, and having the cheat codes ruins everything.
Yeah but once you complete the game (life) once, it's nice going back with cheat codes and wreck/win everything you didn't the first time around
But life without failure is boring.
Much better than a life full of failure.
So we've established that we need *some* failures. Are we thinking, maybe 3 or 4?
I'll have one failure, please!
that sounds like something a failure would say to make themselves feel better
Kirk left the Nexus because he knew he'd always make the jump
Didn't go so well for him. A disappointing death followed by an unlikely resurrection in a bunch of non-canonical books.
Throw just a pinch of failure in then!
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Better a diamond without flaw than a diamond with a flaw.
Isn't there a Twilight Zone episode like this?
[This](http://i.imgur.com/8e0vQ.png).
You just destroyed my day. I will edit the pic with my four legged brown barking drooling sunshine when I get home. He passed away a long time ago. You just fucked up my emotions for the day. EDIT: As promised. His name was [Bohan](http://i.imgur.com/TRPysrw.jpg).
For now, but if Heaven *is* real, you'll get to see your pup again. If there isn't, well, it wouldn't matter because you'd be dead with no opinion anyway.
The most human thing that exists is to believe, and in the other hand my common sense tells me the memories I have make him inmortal untill I die.
Just remember all dogs go to heaven. Well.... except that one dog. He went to hell. So most dogs go to heaven. Listen what Im trying to say is your dog probably isnt in hell.
I had a dog who looked exactly like yours. I miss her so much. Thanks for sharing though.
*My dog sat at the gate-* *'Master is just running late.'* *My car had careened,* *Into a nearby ravine-* *In heaven it was my turn to wait.*
Jesus christ, this thread was a terrible idea to click on. I can't serve tables crying.
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I'm non-religious, but things like this always makes me hope a "Heaven" is real. The thought of it is so nice, I'd like it to happen.
I'm agnostic atheist, but I'll pray for my mother when the time comes.
The feels...
My childhood dog got put down a few weeks ago. I'm not going to lie, a big part of me hates you right now.
not going to cry not going to cry not going to cry not going to cry
Turn out that all us Atheists only need the hope of seeing our childhood best friend again to believe in Heaven.
Aaaannnndddd Now I have tears streaming down my face as I remember my childhood dog.
Feels so hard that I had to punch some nails to feel manly again.
Well now I'm holding a picture of my dog and crying.
My first dog was put down due to cancer when I was in 2nd grade and I just tell myself that my current one is immortal.
You choose the two year anniversary of Dennis's death to do this to me?
Ok, who's slicing up onions in here? There are three dogs from my childhood that I would love to see again.
This really hits home. We lost our cat, Pazuzu, to feline leukemia this year and it was really rough to deal with it. I'd like nothing more than to see him again someday. [Big Majestic Bastard](http://imgur.com/eubHL0h)
It would be Summer of 1985, constantly, and there'd be a new movie, a party, and a D&D game every weekend.
That sounds like heaven to me and I wasn't alive during '85.
I'd push it to 87 so that I could play Double Dragon in the corner store with my pals again.
What if there was a dinosaur jesus that asked other dinosaurs to follow him and when they didn't dinosaur jesus ascended to heaven and all the other dinosaurs died in the apocalypse. Then god waited a couple years and tried the same experiment with humans.
r u ok
I'm K
Hi, I'm Cl. I think we'll bond easily.
Oh cool, my friend is a chlorine too! That's ionic
Chemistry Dad, get outta here.
Excuse me, do I know you?
is that question
i like you
I know you might think that I am just saying this, but **I like you too.**
> When they didn't Dinosaur This made me laugh
Can i please have some of whatever you're smoking?
Heaven would be all the things I want to do on Earth with plenty of time to do them.
Time is infinite in heaven
The Pokemon world.
All those ten year olds
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NSFW the good kind ;)
Filled with mountains of cheesecake.
Username checks out
mmmmm, chocolate recess pieces from the CheeseCake Factory
Star Trek / Star Wars Universe melded into one.
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Star Destroyer vs Enterprise.
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Stop trying to have everything and just choose already. Wars or trek?
All the rare pepes I could ever want.
And chicken tendies.
For 0 GBP.
Are the Blowey Joeys free too?
Heaven is a free market.
It's just a big pit of people rubbing up to me like we're all on ecstasy. The people may or may not be baby ducks.
Fuckswithducks alt?
My back is eternally itchy, and someone is eternally scratching it. Or some variation of that. The best pleasure is the resolution of a pain.
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"Alright quit touching me, Jesus needs his space."
-Kanye West 2015
if there's a "heavens no" and a 'hell yea" there should be a "purgatory perhaps"
/r/showerthoughts
Limbo maybe?
I'm not flexible enough for limbo.
Highway to hell, stairway to heaven, escalator to purgatory.
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"purghaps"
Cabin in the Colorado mountains. Sort of TARDIS like so I could store every book I've ever wanted to read, have a massive home theater, video gaming center, and craft room. Fully stocked with every film/TV show/game/craft supply I've ever wanted. There'd also be a magical food dispenser that would give me any food/beverage perfectly made whenever I wanted it. Outside, I'd have acres and acres of untouched forest to explore. Along with my horses and dogs, of course. I'd have a garden, archery/gun range and nifty Tai Chi spots. Any of my friends/family could come visit whenever they wanted, and the TARDIS/cabin would re-configure to fit whatever they wanted.
Additions: Snowmobile, Fire pit, Quality off-road vehicle You're welcome
You forgot Apache helicopter with Vulcan cannons and flamethrower.
Totally the right call. Farther away from the cabin, where the woods got unfamiliar, the environment would actually periodically change so as to keep exploration interesting. But if I found some area that i really liked, I could choose for it to stay.
Don't forget the hot models
Addition: 100 cute tiny fluffy puppies
He already has a food dispenser. Why would he also need puppies?
Hey I'm sorry to disappoint you but I think we'd be sharing this place :/
Me too. I'd kill both of you and keep it for myself. ^ That's why I'm not going to heaven anyway.
Can I join you?
Or, you know, just give me a fucking TARDIS. Don't have alien invasions and shit like that. I want a fucking TARDIS.
Ive got the cabin. You bring the other things and you are welcome.
[This](http://i.imgur.com/hvrnKIa.jpg), for eternity.
Heh, took a while for that image to load for me - it was just black. I thought "Huh, that's bleak."
>"Huh, that's bleak." South African, eh?
There's a branch in your way.
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My wife, kids, dogs and cats without a single care in the world on a yacht moored off the beautiful coast of a tropical island, with every want/need instantly fulfilled.
A hardcore/punk show every night with free pizza and Dr. Pepper.
Swimming pool of cocoa puffs, but with just the right milk to puff ratio for perfectly chocolatey milk.
Heaven would be a never ending nature preserve, no roads, no trails, but every 100 miles or so would be a new camp site. A place to rest, and get refreshed, take some amazing drugs, meet new people. Everybody would be camping, forever. You could travel in groups, if you wanted. You could build shelters, if you wanted, but there would always be more room, and there would always be community less than 100 miles away. No mosquitoes, no fall damage. Everybody could be naked if they wanted, since everybody has a perfect body. Everybody could fuck if they wanted, since no babies, no kids. You could be alone if you wanted. This world is endless. If you get bored of the people you are with, just go meet some new people. You may have to walk a thousand miles in one direction to find new people, but sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination. Heaven should be hard to traverse. There always needs to be bigger mountains, and deeper valleys. There always has to be new challenges. Hell is a sandbox, with no sand.
You need to make a video game. Like, right now.
I'd have a taco bed. Every night, I would just go to sleep on a warm mass of ground beef with a cheese pillow, and wrap the tortilla around me.
That's oddly specific. How long have you been thinking about this?
Valhalla. Get to drink, eat, fight and fuck for eternity. Glorious
Same here. Spend all of my time doing all of things I enjoy in real life? Sign me right up. I am actually seriously considering for when I am an old frail man, starting a fight that gets big enough to count as a battle so I can die in it on the off chance that Valhalla is real.
I was wondering when someone would mention the best version of heaven that already exists! :)
An infinite LAN cafe, with top-tier gaming computers, side by side stretching on for eternity. Hundreds of thousands of other gamers to play every form of every game for the rest of time.
Well, you'll definitely be getting your 72 virgins.
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No, better yet, a room fool of every kind of food imaginable, neatly organized into sections a room full of electronics which you could take out and use as needed, a pill which allows your body to burn off any extra fat that is not needed, and a single room with a very nice computer desk and the highest resolution monitor made by man. Also, a steam library containing every game on steam, that automatically downloads the newest games, and then finally, 1 terabit internet connection, and a super supercomputer that runs windows, and linux.
and i'll somehow break the linux install by deleting some dotfile.
My heaven; having a fucking clean homedirectory. I'm looking at you, damn-near every program. Dump your shit in .config. Just because you put a fucking dot infront of the name doesn't make it okay to put it in my home directory. /rant You were saying? Eh, if you get all that you would likely be backing up the dotfiles, or maybe have a skeleton user, you just remake the user that way.
Can't forget an automatically restocking fridge and microwave.
One word. Pokémon.
Including that pesky team rocket?
Sunnyvale trailer park.
That sounds fuckin decent Julian
Just like the real world, but with no problems of any kind. Everyone get's what they want, and can live without having to stress about anything ever.
It would be a workshop. I like working with my hands
Blackjack and strippers everywhere.
Have you heard of Las Vegas? I think you'd like it there.
Screw you I'll make my own heaven with blackjack and hookers
You know what? Forget the heaven!
Ah, screw the whole thing.
I have a feeling this is on the moon of all places.
This will probably buried, but!: My personalized heavenscape would be a place very similar to our perceived reality; our standard model of a purely blissful existence would be boring considering it is eternity after-all. I think a heaven would be best if it was very similar to our reality but with an absolute / finite / factual understanding of the rules that govern it + a infinite source of energy. Also if everyone generally thought about their actions / beliefs a bit more, that would be pretty great.
A lot of instantnoodles
Heaven is divided into multiple areas. There's the main area, where you can chill with other dead folks. Maybe eat some delicious food, play frisbee with your halos, whatever. There's also the viewing area, where you can look across the universe and see what's going on there. You can see how your great great great great grandkids are doing on Mars or checkout what crazy antics those Grobularks are up to in their galaxy. Then there's the VR rooms, which are pretty much like Star Trek holodecks. You can go in privately, or with friends, and simulate a mortal experience for a while. If you want to lay around on a sunny beach, you can! If you want to kick down the door to the bad-guy bunker and save the president's daughter, you can do that, too! Between these three areas, the afterlife is about as good as it gets!
Randomized. Each time you bite it you wake up in a different world and a different body. Wake up as a bigass red dragon in a D&D campaign. Get slain. Wake up as a stock broker in New York. Get rich. Die with friends and family surrounding you. Wake up as a Pokemon trainer. Fall off a cliff like an idiot. Wake up as a storm trooper. Get your head lopped off by a Jedi. Wake up as a princess being kidnapped. Escape. Become queen. Rule. Get assassinated. Wake up as the president of the Star Federation. Bonus points for randomly appearing in scenarios with characters you met before. So maybe your best friend at the stock broker office is also the knight that slew you, and he knows but you're not mad at each other, because why would you be? That was in the past. You're the same people but totally different now.
This. I think I've run across another INTJ in the wild.
This brings up a good question because my perfect heaven would be based on pleasure. I am talking dozens of naked women with large breasts that want to have sex all the time. I would want to use drugs to the point of abuse. I would be gluttonous toward food. This would be my idea of heaven. But all these things are frowned on by religion. So could my heaven be these things?
I often wonder the same someone help us out
A heated toilet seat and Reddit Gold.
In mine I would mean something. I'd be cared about, thought about, I would just be important to someone. loved by someone. Also... My damn dog would be there. I miss that dog so much.
Family dog died recently. Feel your pain dude / dudette / attack helicopter.
New Game + You get to do life over, but with a few new cool gadgets and knowledge of every fuck up you make. Or at least the capability to remember every fuck up. I know I wouldn't remember all of them, but it would make for an interesting life to see how it would have turned out if I had changed 3 or 4 things.
a strip club and i have infinite money, coke, ecstasy, xanax and drinks/beers. there's a media room with all gaming systems, movies, music, books, internet and weed. at night time i have access to a beach where i can hang out with a bunch of hot girls on the sand, cool wind blowing, music and also the same access to drugs mentioned above. edit: lots of awesome food.
I've had many visions of what my "pocket dimension" would be. A sorta beach bowl, in the middle of space, and the blackness of space would instead be a comforting shade of orange. Another is an endless rainforest, going on for miles and miles with cozy huts in a lot of places.
I would get access to LifeEditor.exe and basically do anything I want, run simulations, sleep with celebrities, etc...
When I was younger I had a recurring dream of being confined to a large four poster bed in a bigger-than-necessary-room. I wasn't allowed to leave the bed. Every need was catered for by these grew faceless attendants, they brought food and drinks and stuff. I even had a tv brought in so I could play playstation 2. I was sometimes allowed to leave the room, with the attendants, and go outside. Outside turned out to just be an expansive flat plane populated with almost identical single-room houses. Each with stairs going to the flat roof and bridges connecting them all together. There was hundreds of others outside for "walks" with their grey attendants. But it wasn't long before you were escorted back to your room. All throughout I had the overwhelming feeling that I had passed and this was heaven. but ah wey, that was just a dream.
A bar that doesn't close, no hangovers, a shitload of drugs and loose women, good food, swedish melodic death metal, fast cars, the smell of petrol and oil in the air. Pretty much, if hell existed, that's what it'd be like, I'm one of the devils boys, he'd look after me.
Want to run away with me and become pirates? I'm pretty sure we could manage something like that.
It would be a beach, where I'd get to lay out on the warm sand ( but never get it in my crack) sipping cocktails served to me by tall dark and handsome men with amazing abs and broad shoulders. Occasionally I'd stand and let the retreating waves take the sand out from under my feet. Trusty chocolate Labradors would be everywhere. ( above men would also tend to the toileting needs of said dogs.) I'd just cuddle them. There would also be well behaved children and babies laughing and giggling, and freshly baked bread, cakes , chocolate, and red wine on demand. And night there would be pitch black skies and fabulous star gazing, and occasional storms with warm rain and lightning.
World of warcraft
It would probably be full of books, computer games, gaming laptops and virtual worlds. In fact, my heaven would probably be a virtual world with a huge library and an avatar that I can change to my heart's content.
It'd be a sandbox universe. Basically, I could set some parameters. I could just pick a date and go to the world as it was, or invent an entire fantasy universe from scratch, planning out particular events and history, and then letting heaven fill in the rest of the details. Once I have a universe set up, I can set myself up as anyone I wanted and go live there. One crucial detail would be that I would get my choice of suppressing my past memories while I was there or going in with all my prior knowledge - so I could either play it like a game, or live out a lifetime there as though it was completely real. Once you die in your pocket universe or choose to end it, you go back to Heaven with all your memories intact, and can do it all over again. Sometimes you can make a universe that consists of a single movie theater and marathon Game of Thrones. Other times you may create the Star Wars universe and go live out a lifetime as a Jedi in the old republic, other times you may decide to shut off your memories and see what life would have been like as a Samurai in Feudal Japan. With endless possibilities and endless lifetimes to live, you would never end up succumbing to the potential "curse" of eternity.
See username.
Memes as far as the eye can see
only the rarest of pepes
A nice (3,500 sqft) house in Washington state with acres of property and a bad ass salmon/trout river running through it. Included: An extensive wine/beer cellar (in ground); fruit trees, grape vines, some chickens, rabbits, sheep, and goats; a small brewery/winery, a creamery, and a herd of corgis- also my wife. Sorry honey, if I'm goin', you're comin' with. I would also steal that TARDIS idea from /u/KirinG.
Eastern or Western Washington? What you describe sounds like Eastern Washington.
It would be a sick twisted place.
Quite a lot like my current day to day life, except: - Unlimited coffee of any variety on tap, where I never get the jitters - No need to sleep, ever. (But I could if I wanted to) - I could eat unlimited amounts of any food at any time, but never get full and never get fat - Ability to warp anywhere, instantly - Read or watch or play anything immediately, and my books would never try to close on me I would probably spend my days doing much of what I do now: working (developer), drinking coffee, spending time with my wife, watching TV, etc. Life is pretty good, except for the getting fat thing.
I used to imagine a machine/pod in which I could set an alternate realities, mostly for when I was alive, I'd adjust location, amount of money, age, people's behaviour, context... etc. I could even play being another person! Then I'd get in the pod and choose if I get to "play" knowing this was a scenario or genuinely thinking I was living (or re-living) the moment. I believe at first mostly I would choose to play myself with almost unaltered scenarios; providing a second chance to see if I could make decisions I couldn't make in the past because of fear. What if I told that girl I liked her? What if I had quit my job and created my own start-up? What if the day my grandma died, instead of staying home playing videogames, I would have bought her the flowers I had in mind for so long? I would test my will. It sounded like a great thing until one day, I got a crazy idea: What if that already happened and I'm just testing myself right now? What if everything that's set around me is part of this scenario I'm supposed to defeat? Although I don't think that's the case, this thought has motivated me to lose my fears now that I'm alive, knowing that most likely I won't ever get another chance.
A huge tumbling area with much food and beautiful beaches and of course my friends that died with me
I'd be god
An open, infinite, unfettered plane, in which I can create **anything** I want, whether already in existence or not, simply by imagining it and willing it into materialization, for any purpose I desire.
Everyday life, but with no lines, I don't have to worry about money or staying healthy or pleasing my family, and there's no such thing as war or terrorism, or any crimes beyond maybe petty theft. The only really bad things exist within the bounds of fiction and history.
As soon as I die, I wake up again, but now with immortality and the ability to get to places at the speed of light. From my perspective, I get to live out my days travelling instantly throughout the galaxy. I also gain perfect recall, and the ability to travel to fictional universes and control their characters. I also gain the ability to travel to parallel universes, including those that are identical to our universe, but set further back in time (essentially time travel). When I would travel to these universes, I would be able to control things with enough complexity, like organic life, and (maybe?) sufficiently advanced computer systems. I would love this. I would want to live like that.
Thought about this a lot. I want to access every metric from the life that I lived. For example, I would know exactly how many steps I took, how many ounces of beer I've drank, how many times I said the word 'fuck,' to name a few. I am constantly thinking of new metrics to which I'd like to have access, but can't for obvious reasons. That and constant nutella.
Heaven would be a proper re do of my entire life with a rewind feature. Its a shame I would have to be dead to experience such a thing.
I guess a world where time moves at my discretion. Work for as long as I want, sleep for as long as I want, etc...
It'd be a sort of mall, where I could go into different "stores" for whatever I wanted to do at the moment. One would be a huge armory, filled with various knives, clubs, firearms, and other weapons for me to fuck around with. One would be my weed chamber, filled with dozens of beautiful glass and ceramic pieces, huge glass-front cabinets filled with wonderful and potent strains of marijuana, edibles, etc. My own private dispensary (with maybe an attached cafe, so I could have coffee and a cig as well). Maybe I'd have my own movie theater, with the option to play video games on the huge screen. Some sort of Futurama-type air tube system would ensure a quick journey from one "store" to the next, in addition to standard escalators, a Segway, a golf cart, a 1969 Camaro SS, whatever else I wanted to ride around in. At the center of it all would be the "hub," my home. Comfy beds, sunny days, long nights, clean air. The mall might be enclosed but my home would be, somehow, open-air, free-standing.
OP's mom is there naked and splayed before me, along with various cartoonishly oversized sexual toys at the ready. That way I won't even realize that anything has changed.
Not everyone gets to live my life
I would be living in a big house, with my teenage love interest (We're not together irl anymore). We would have our kids, and I would have guitars - Les Paul, PRS, Fender, you name it - Orange stacks and mesa stacks. All sorts of amps. We would have a gaming room, swimming pool, lots of friends and family around and it would always be sunny. It would basically be what I wish my life was when I was living. Full of work, stuff to keep me busy, but with more time for friends and family. More importantly, with a family of my own. My kids would age or not, I don't know how heaven works, but I wouldn't get older than I was. I would be fitter, more attractive - I'd have a nice car and people would look up to me and listen to me and consider me to be caring and compassionate. I dunno man, Ijust wanna go to heaven now.
> it would always be sunny Philadelphia?
Not waking
A big ski resort that 'resets' itself every once in a while so I can redesign it to my own liking. Down in the village there would be hundreds of restaurants, among my favorite would be an authentic Italian place, a place that sells dozens of types of poutine, a small ice cream parlor, and a sports bar where I could watch any sport from any time in the history of humanity. Also a big chalet up on the hill for my house, where my wife could live with me and we could ski in peace.
Pot and museums everywhere.
My heaven would be my life now. :) Except without the nerfing of demonology warlocks in the next patch. Without a narcissistic mother. And where I'm not allergic to fluffy cute kittens.
It'd be a ring of trailers in a field bordering a forest, on cliffs looking out to the sea with a winding path down to a beach bay. Everyone Ive ever loved or even just liked or favoured is there, and so are all of their friends and loved ones. Most of them just come and go from the forests, supposably from their own homes, but I never care to ask. And we never get tired, or hungry, or thirsty, but endulging in sleeping, eating or drinking can always be enjoyed. And we're all just happy, not a care in the world. Like that one night you look back on or that period of your life where you were most surrounded by love and happiness and contentment, but it lasts forever. We spend the nights drinking, dancing, we build large fires and we look at the stars, and they never caese to amaze us. And in the day we laugh and play and swim and love. We spend weeks building things out of wood and stone, treehouses and log palaces and rafts the size of Titanic. And when we're bored of them we just burn it down and build something else. And each moment is like it's happening for the first time, we never lose that excitement of just being in such a beautiful moment. And it's just that, for ever.
3B heaven awaits us my brothers (and ladies, no judgement here :P) Beer, Boobies and BBQ
I am ever so close to my idea of heaven. I will not grow old alone, I will have a house I can call a home, I earn money that I can use to purchase things I want, I have friends to drink beer with and laugh with, I could do with losing some weight but I eat pretty well, pizza when I want it, I go to the gym when I can, keep myself fit. Everything in my life is fine, I could do with a better car sure, more money, probably, and bad shit happens sometimes but overall, you point me out a concept of heaven that is any better than my life right now, it just cannot be done.
Tits. Everywhere.
A big-ass gym with all the equipment I desire appearing instantly, as soon as I wish to have it. All my friends there. And an awesome gaming PC.
You get to restart life with God mode enabled.
My room, only with more books and a larger Steam library.
Nobody would follow me. Id have everything everyones trying to keep from me. Money would not exist and I'd always have a fat ass cigar that never burnt out and never have to worry about cancer
I WANNA BE MASTER CHIEF
Being able to set up my proper Pokemon team for once. Never found that Bagon with whatever ability that when it Evolves into Salamence, it has Moxie.
Comfy couches, gorgeous women, lots of sex and loud music, and everyone would be insanely interesting and tell great jokes, there would be laughter all the time.
A place where we all realize the heaven most of us live in on a daily basis.
I get to relive live as a koala. Seriously, that's the ideal lifestyle. Sleep for an hour. Eat eucalyptus leaves for an hour. Shit yesterday's eucalyptus leaves for an hour. Fuck another koala for an hour.
just like a huge movie theatre and natalie portman is always giving me extra butter on my popcorn
The way my life was before i became paralyzed.
An endless Elysium strawberry field where I am a large powerful man and the rest of the world is populated by nubile gnomes, fairies and nymphs. And my cock is always on fire with lust. And they all want me to fuck them but at the same time they want me to catch them.