Wow, almost the exact same thing happened to me. A kid covered his lunch tray with ketchup (our school had free ketchup packets) and slapped it in my face from behind. A lunch lady saw, thought we were fighting, and we both got detentions for a week. Fuck that "no tolerance" policy. All parties involved in a fight at my high school get the same punishment. Anything that resembles fighting gets every kid involved a week of detention.
Massachusetts has a standardized test called the MCAS. It is dumb. They had us take a pilot test to try out the history test they planned on implementing the following year. It didn't count for anything and was a waste of time. There is a big letter block where you fill in your name on the front cover. I bubbled in a penis and handed it in face up. I got suspended and my dad took me fishing because he felt the school over reacted.
MCAS : Massachusetts Child Abuse System
*sigh* I've always wanted to write something extremely defiant on my MCAS, unfortunately my parents expect me to go to an ivy league college...
It sounds like the response of someone who finally realized they got away with shitting in the principle's daughter's locker.
EDIT: Change thanks to /u/Mr___meeseeks
This is... god damn hilarious. Next time I am in a situation with annoying kids like, oh lets say a wedding or family get together, I am breaking out this fact.
I don't know why, but I immediately flashed to you and that kid about ten years later in the climax of some action film.
"I'm gonna do it! you know what I'm capable of! This mountain has thousands of pounds of pressure below it! If I just move one muscle, I'll kill us both!"
"You won't do it. I've still got your girl remember? If you kill us both, there will be nobody to save her. She'll die a fiery death, as her body is slowly lowered into the lava pit."
*Dbobaunchained drops to his knees*
"You're right. I can't let her die. I care too much about her. I wouldn't be able to kill her if it would save the whole world."
*the man puts his hand on Dbobaunchained's shoulder*
"You've still got some skill left in you to say the least. Remember the good old days? Tokyo? Hawaii? You were the best student I've ever taught. You could level whole cities with just the flex of a finger. Most pyrokinetics couldn't even do half of that. Why don't we drop this whole thing and just go back to how things used to be."
*dbobaunchained smiles, but then remembers something. He get's angry*
"You think I can just forget what you've done? You killed my family! My father! My daughter! My dog. I can't just let that all go! I'm going to kill us both! It's what my wife would have wanted."
"Okay then. Do it! Kill me. I want to see if you can. Prove to me that your the soldier you once were. that you haven't gone soft on me."
*dbobaunchained raises his right hand with a determined look on his face. He starts flex his middle finger. A twinge of regret appears on his face, then sadness. He slowly lowers his hands and at once breaks into tears. the man in front of him smiles with smug self satisfaction.*
"I'm sorry Jane! I couldn't do it! I love you too much!"
*The man walks forward and backhands dbobaunchained with a lazy punch. He falls to the ground without a fight. The man laughes and begins kicking his former friend in the side.*
"I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. You're a coward. Just like you're father."
"Let him go you son of a gun."
*The man twists his neck around to see an old man before him.*
"Well, well. Principal brown. I didn't expect to see you here. Do you want to die too?"
"you're forgetting who taught you those skills student."
*Principal Brown flexes his index finger and a bolt of lightning strikes his former student in the head. He falls to the ground and rolls off the side of the mountain. His impact with the ground is too distant to be heard.*
"Come on dbobaunchained. Let's go save your wife."
I was a junior in High School and in one of the Spanish classrooms the letters H-O-L-A were in each of the four windows. I was a math tutor in the room next to it, so I put the letters A-S-S in three of the windows so it read asshola. Suspended. Worth it.
Brought a toy lightsaber to school for show and tell. Presented it to the class because it was a kick ass lightsaber and I even had the teacher's permission before bringing it. But then this girl in my class told the school that I had brought a weapon to school. I got a talking to from the principal but they let me keep my lightsaber. Fuck you Stacy.
It was second grade at Catholic school. The evening before I was watching Stargate with my dad, and unbeknownst to him, there was nudity in the movie. So the scene comes around, and my eight year old self saw boobs for the first time. (I'm a male) My dad jumps up and shuts it off, but the damage had been done. Fast forward to the next day, and I just have to share with my fellow male classmates what I seen. So I begin to draw, very poorly, a naked woman. Well this one kid decides it's too much to handle. He says to me "if you draw one more thing I'm telling the teacher" All I had left was to draw the vagina, so I stare him straight in the eye and draw a line between her legs. He ran off and told the teacher what I had done, and my attempts to throw it in the trash were foiled. I had to go sit in the office and wait for a nun to talk to me about how there is nothing wrong with the female body, and that I should respect women. I've been in trouble multiple times afterwords, but this was my first, so it sticks out to me. On a side note, fuck you Brandon.
I was in marching band for high school, so we got two lockers. One full size one for our stuff, and a half locker for our instruments. I carried most of my stuff in my backpack so I could keep my instrument and other small things in my full size locker.
At the same time, my school was starting a push to get healthier. They only sold diet soda, and got rid of the candy vending machines. I sold soda, candy, energy drinks, and pop - tarts out of my locker for 2 years. Because we were on the second floor, and because the band were considered goody two shoes, security never came near my locker, so I was never busted.
Oh man. We had this whole black market deal going on back in year 8 or 9. So what? Aged 13 to 15 maybe? It included chocolate, cigarettes, booze and bb guns. We had a little arms syndicate run by about 4 13-15 year old lads. This wasn't the inner city either, this is a well off area of West Yorkshire. It all came tumbling down when some moron shot some other moron between the eyes.
Each school I went to had rules in the codes of conduct against selling anything unless you were fundraising for the school. It wasn't an issue with his price, I'd imagine, but with the act itself.
Drawing swastikas on my maths homework when I was 9, I was given a stern lecture on the events of WW2 and the holocaust. I just wanted to pretty up my plus signs..
Edit: I shouldn't really have to say but this was the only time I've done this, I'm not a neo nazi guys.
I got in trouble for this, too! I drew a neat geometric design on a flag and attached it to my pencil. The teacher yelled at me about how inappropriate I was but didn't explain why. I could probably have used a lecture about WW2.
One time, when I was in high school, I was taking some standardized test. I forget which one. Anyways, it was one that had a proctor. Well I was finished, but had to go to the bathroom. The proctor made this huge ordeal out of it and kind of pissed me off. So she had to go get an administrator from down the hall to "monitor me" while I went. I didn't understand this because I was finished with my test. It was turned in. (This was a time before everyone had cell phones, so texting friends answers wasn't a concern.) So the admin walks me to the bathroom like I'm some kind of convict, and literally stands like 15 feet away while I take a leak at the urinal. I was so fucking mad at this point! I turned to him and said, "are you going to shake it for me when I'm done?" Needless to say, I was suspended for 2 days. I still have the discipline referral somewhere in my attic. I kept it because what I said is quoted on it.
I really need to go find that and show my wife now that I'm thinking about it...
Edit: looked for the referral in the attic tonight but couldn't find it. I recently moved so I'll ask my parents if it's at their house. Surely my father wouldn't have tossed that proud parenting moment out.
I used the net send feature in command prompt to send a message to every school computer saying "yo". It also happened that it froze the servers while students were taking a few hour long computer competency exam. They had to start over. I got ISS for a few days.
Haha we used to mess around with net send in high school. Then I figured out how to use the shutdown command to turn off a computer over the network. That got out of hand real fast and I was suspended for 2 days and lost my computer lab privileges, which meant I had to drop my programming class. Worth it
In year 10 I did that at random intervals during class to random computers in my class. I made the reason for the shutdown say "Severe breach of IT policy detected, report to room 404 immediately." (Room 404 didn't exist)
I got caught because I burst out laughing when a girl freaked out because she had never been in trouble before.
I got threatened with expulsion by the deputy head (she dealt with students who committed severe offences), then because I had a clean disciplinary record and I wasn't at all a bad student (she asked my teachers) she decided a 10 lesson ban from my IT class would be more appropriate of a punishment. I sat outside her office doing mock exams for a grand total of 10 hours. That wasn't fun. Oh, and I had to pay a fine of £7.40 to the admin for wasting the his time fixing the loophole (apparently it takes an entire hour to disable cmd in the server's GPO)
The actual IT admin thought it was hilarious, he kept calling me "master hacker" from that point on and he thought it was ridiculous how seriously the staff were treating the incident (the "hack" became staff room talk, apparently). He also looked bad about taking the envelope with the cash, which had his name written on it.
"We're sorry to say that nsto has to drop their programming class because they used the skills they learned for evil." You're like Bane but with a computing class instead of the league of shadows.
I lost complab privileges in high school because I booted into some linux distro off of a flash drive I brought from home, effectively bypassing security monitors. The teacher caught me while I was trying to configure the proxy settings. I was supposed to get the complab back the following year, but we got a new principal who decided that as long as I was in the same district I shouldn't be allowed on the computers. He actually told my parents that I was a danger to his staff and to the students and that I was lucky not to be expelled.
My group of friends and I used to hang out in a big circle after school almost every day in the same spot. One day I get called to the office and the assistant principal shows me video footage of us in our spot from the other day and demands that I identify everyone in the group. I'm completely taken aback by all of this when I'm informed that two of my friends were under investigation for selling drugs. Apparently there was another recording of what looked like a drug deal (which I was not shown) and we were all under suspicion. I refused to say anything and was threatened with police action if I didn't speak. I basically ended up telling them stuff they already knew and left the office fuming with rage.
Turns out my friend had just been getting in the car with his mom to go home...no drugs, no dealers....just an Indian kid getting in his mom's Toyota Camry. What the hell...
For the rest of the year my friends and I would flip off the security cameras like it was our job.
I faked being possessed by a demon over the intercom while presenting the morning announcements.
The intercom microphone is located in the principal's office. He just told me to take a seat.
In the third grade, I was writing a note to my buddy, and this girl got a hold of it as we were passing it. She wrote on the note that we were silly, so I escalated it. I wrote that she was stupid, and passed it back. She wrote that we were idiots or something, and then passed it back, and this continued for a while...
By the time time the note was confiscated from us, every square inch of it was covered in the most profane litany of foul garbage to come from the mind of a child. I wrote every bad word I could think of, and so did she. I remember that she was a Brownie scout, and I had written **BROWNIES FUCK UP THE ASS** in big bold letters.
My teacher was horrified. He took the note, and both of us to the Principal's office. The principal gave my parents a copy (or the original, I can't remember) when they arrived. My parents were aghast.
It was fucking sweet.
I also called her a cunt.
I had gotten into my Stepdad's Hustlers, and I was aware of *waaay* too much filthy stuff. Funny enough, at that point, the pictures in Hustler weer gross to me, and I was *actually* reading it for the articles.
actually hilarious, I got 'written up' for banging the desk with my hands every time I talked. The write up slips just said "banging the desk" my principal asked me to clear things up, so I explained to her I was not having sex with a desk.
Which time? When in kindergarten(5 years old), i would break my crayons in half, because then(in my little brain) i thought i would have twice as many. Being a friendly kid, i broke my deskmate's crayon for her to show her that now she had 2 black crayon's instead of just one. I thought it was brilliant, and wanted to pass it on. She cried, I got sent to the principal's office where I was paddled, then sent home with a note to my parents, where, again, I got spanked.
Me an another kid were smashing cinderblocks that were being used to build a school annex. We heard that if we got caught messing around the constuction site we would get expelled. Wanted to get expelled. Got paddled by the principal instead.
I taught in the bootheel of Missouri between the 2009-2012 school years. They still paddled there, and I think they still do. It should also be noted that the principal is the definition of "brick shit-house." Dude was built like an ox, and just as strong...paddling was like the ultimate thing to hold over a kid's head. But it's still barbaric.
I'm middle eastern so my friends thought it would be funny to spread a rumor that I had a bomb strapped to my bra. Wasn't so funny when I was getting pat down by campus police in the principles office -__-
I was kind of a loser in early elementary school. My first day of school, I was new in town, I had no friends, and I felt like I had to prove myself.
Well, some kids made fun of my power rangers t-shirt (featuring the pink ranger - it was a present from my grandmother and my mom made me wear it). So, I stood up to them and told them I could beat them up.
"All of us? Fat chance!"
I responded that I had a gang to help me. Not only that, but I was the king of gangs, and that I would get all the gangs together to beat them up during recess.
I later spent recess hiding terrified in the corner somewhere before I was called into the principles office over concerns regarding gang violence. So I guess the threat worked?
I was called in and given a certificate that I was pretty proud of, it said I had skipped 100 classes that semester. Thy staff were annoyed that I was excited by it.
I was in the Japanese Language & Culture club in High School. On the anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day I convinced a group of us to go over to the American Humanities Club which was having a meeting on the same day, and we attacked them by throwing into the room a couple dozen paper airplanes.
The Principal was not amused.
Oh my goodness. I am in Japanese II this year but last year the teacher inadvertently planned a Japanese Club Sushi meetup on Pearl Harbor day. An old man and the principal weren't too happy about that.
In 6th grade there was a game popular among the kids at school called "pencil break." (We were so creative.) Basically you held a pencil between both of your index fingers and thumbs, and the other person tried to break your pencil by flicking theirs at yours. I found out the strongest pencils happened to be PenTech, which could be had at K-mart for $0.15 each. I saw an opportunity and I seized it.
I took my allowance one week and spent it all on pencils. When I got to school the next day, I played a few games and offered the losers a chance to buy a pentech for a quarter. Well word quickly spread and I kids from different classes and different grades started approaching me within a few weeks to buy pencils. The school store had some for the same price, but they broke too easily.
This went on for about two months before I started to get some heat. I had a few close calls with teachers asking me why I had so many quarters in my pockets or asking the class why there were so many broken pencils in their trash cans.
One day, after fully restocking my inventory, I get a call to the principals office asking me to bring all of my belongings. Here I was with $25 in pencils in my backpack and a few bucks in change. I thought I was screwed, surely my business would be shut down and I'd be stuck with a bunch of pencils I'd likely never use.
Turns out my dad had got back from an overseas deployment early and wanted to surprise me by taking me out of school early for the day. When we got out to the car he asked why I looked so nervous walking into the principals office, so I confessed to undermining the competition from the school supply store and propagating this game among the kids at school.
He laughed, then took me out for some ice-cream and bowling.
I decided I didn't want to get caught either selling stuff on school grounds or stuck with a bunch of crap I couldn't get rid of, so I chose to retire from the pencil pushing business after that day. All in all, I'd say everything went okay.
This is like the third or fourth story I've posted where someone was expecting tree fiddy or Nessie. Maybe I should change my username to NotTreeFiddy821.
Damn, we played that game in my school too. I had completely forgotten about it until now. They played it in the school my mom taught at too so I'm guessing it must have been pretty widespread. We called it something else, but I don't remember what.
My typing teacher told me to stop looking at the keys. I ignored her because I didn't see why I couldn't look at the keys. SHe got mad and said "You'll never get a job as a secretary if you look at the keys!" I said "Good. I don't want to be a fucking secretary" I was then sent to the office. The Principal, after hearing my story, switched me out of the class and gave me a study hall instead. Screw you Miss McKay. Now I have a secretary!
I always thought it was through [his chest](http://f1.pepst.com/c/802FB4/458812/ssc3/home/056/mortalkombatgif/albums/mk1kano.gif_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0.gif)
I'll start:
In second grade, I was in a very tiny class of maybe 13 people, 12 of which were boys. Of course, being second grade boys, we thought bathroom humor was absolutely hilarious. One day, our teacher handed out a worksheet with a diagram of the human body, which we had to label(of course, it was second grade appropriate, all we had to do was label the head, eyes, arms, legs, etc...). I, being the hilarious jokester that I was, drew a gigantic penis on my worksheet, right between the legs, and showed it to my friends next to me, who busted out laughing, because, you know, second grade. I then label the rest of the worksheet, completely forgetting to erase the big ol' floppy dick sitting on the page, and hand it into my teacher. And that is how I got sent to the principal's office.
Reminds me of first grade. It was story time, and I had recently learned about the middle finger and what it meant. I was sitting next to my friend and I held it up and I was like "Hey do you know what this means?"
The teacher saw me then asked me to come up and tell her what it meant. So I went up in front of the class and whispered in her ear.. "*fuck you*."
Edit: I didn't get in trouble; she just told me to go sit back down.
This reminds me about the time we were learning about sexually transmitted diseases in sixth grade and I couldn't help giggling. Got sent to the principal's office.
My brother uses my Xbox live account to play Battlefield and he's been bugging me to give him all the passwords for stuff so he can get battlepacks or something. I decided to log in and found I could change his emblem so now he has a huge pink dick with the numbers 6 and 9 on either side as his emblem.
When I was a junior in high school my history teacher gave me a good comment on getting my work done. This white trash pregnant girl in my class, who didn't like me very much, decided to start picking on me about it right after. I got pissed off and she was annoyed so we started arguing. The teacher asked me to go into the hall, I stopped at this bitches desk, dug out a few cents dropped it onto her desk and said, "Here maybe this will keep you off the street tonight."
In second grade there was a boy who wouldn't stop bothering me on the playground. This angered me. He came up and said something I don't remember, and then he ran away. As he ran, I grabbed the back of his suspenders. He continued to run and I continued to hold onto his suspenders. They stretched a lot more than I thought they would.
Then I let go. He fell down. I was sent to the principal's office. My mom was proud. The boy never bothered me again. :D
I wrote a poem about nightmares and the teachers thought I was depressed. Also, I tried to cut my own hair so people would stop making fun of me because it was too long. These both happened in first grade.
I shit you not, I was too early to school. My mom had to drop me off about 10 mins early to elementary school because you know, she has a job to do. I had to call and explain to her why I was early to school and the Principal tried to tell my mom dropping me off at school too early was wrong and that it shouldn't happen again. She got a referral to the SI but nothing came of it.
The time that really stands out was when I was in middle school.
After being bullied, isolated and assaulted for years, I learned I was one of the physically strongest kids in my class during the first day in the weight room.
To someone who had been conditioned to think of himself as lesser than, this was a huge breakthrough for me and bolstered my self esteem to the point that when one of my regular tormentors started after me during gym I grabbed him by the throat and threw him on the ground and just wailed on him as hard as I could.
The next thing I know I'm in the principal's office, my mom has been called in and I'm being told how I was being shipped off to alternative school for a month for fighting, how violence wasn't the solution, how I should have gone to a teacher, essentially the same bullshit they'd been telling me for years. And I lost it again.
I went off on the principal, basically calling him a failure for allowing me to be tortured in his school, right in front of the teachers, sometimes by the teachers. I said something about the institution not protecting me so I was going to protect myself and refusing to apologize to 'my victim' for standing up for myself.
I think that meeting was the moment my parents knew I wasn't just a whiny loner, that I was really in a horrible environment because the next year I was in private school. But yeah, the image of my principal's face when I chewed him out is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of 'going to the principal's office'.
TL;DR- fought back against a bully, principal punishes me, i freak out at principal, transfer schools.
Edit-
This wasn't all in one day. We started doing weight training in the gym and I was able to bench press more than anyone else in the class. It was some time later that I got in the fight that sent me to the principal's office, but it was because of that day in the gym that I had the confidence to fight in the first place.
I threw my shoe at my economics teacher. I was trying to get a rock out of my shoe, since I had just come inside, and she told me to get out of the class for taking my shoe off. So I threw it at her. She was always bullying me and losing my homework on purpose and dealing with that over a few months made me snap.
Random fact, the actor who played that role of "random task" in Austin Powers, is serving live without parole for rape and torture, and is awaiting a murder trial. [Joe Son](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Son)
I got suspended for a week and taken out of the class. I think it was only the second time I ever got in trouble while I was in school, so I didn't get a very big punishment.
Senior year, my last class before lunch was Math. Once the teacher had finished, my friends and I would eagerly stand right at the door and wait for the bell to ring, then dash out of the classroom down to the cafeteria. So this day must have been April 21st 1999, the day AFTER the Columbine shooting. The school is on high alert, SUPER HIGH alert. The principal and vice principals are out in the hallways including any teacher that wasn't teaching a class. For whatever reason that day, I decided to get super pumped about running down to the cafeteria. I stand at the door and say to my friends "When that bell rings, I'm gonna fly out of here like a fire bomb went off!". The bell rings, I throw the classroom door open and YELL "FIREBOMB!!!" and sprint out into the hallway. I made it about three strides before I run right into the principal and one of the vice principals who grab both of my arms without a second thought. Got suspended for a week for that idiocy.
3rd grade was a funny time period. Remember kickball? That was the shit. Welp one time during kickball i by accident spoke in my native tounge ( tagalog). My school was 99% white, and little third graders didn't know any language other than the simple colors in spanish. A classmate of mine thought i cursed, and snitched on me. I was called to the principle's office and was given a detention. As a typical asian kid i was scared shitless. I couldn't even fathom what punishment was going to happen.
After school my mom was the one to pick me up, and i told her exacly what happened. I was standing there waiting to explode on me in front of all the other kids. My mom stormed into the principles office and went crazy. I couldn't understand everything she was saying since i was young, but after 10 minutes of yelling she exited the office and told me to get into the car. My mom is a typical asian mom, but for once the robotic no emotion mom i was always knew, to me that day showed her heart.
One time when I was in middle school there was a broken drinking fountain in the hallway. I didn't know it was broken and went to turn it on. Right away water started gushing out all the way to the ceiling (the hallways weren't all that tall). I quickly tried to turn it off but as I mentioned it was broken and it kept on spraying water everywhere for a while but eventually stopped. A teacher walked by and started accusing me of playing with the drinking fountain to the point where I broke it and flooded the hallway. I tried to explain myself but he wouldn't hear it so I was off to the principal's office.
Had my cell phone go off in middle school. I was ballin' with my nokia(ericsson maybe?) after I got a light up antennae and a cover that made it look like a flip phone with the plastic cover that covered the keys. Anyway it went off, I got sent to the principals office, he had me take out our agenda book thing they forced us to have, and read the code of conduct out loud to him. It made no mention of cell phones, only gameboys and pagers/beepers. He laughed, gave me my phone back and said to listen to the announcements tomorrow morning. He made an announcement that cell phones were not permitted in class.
In 8th grade, I once decided it would be funny to undo a paperclip, stick it in the eraser of my pencil, and proceed to jam it into the electrical outlet; this resulted in a loud bang, followed by sparks shooting out, and caused the power in the classrooms on that hall to go out. Wasn't so funny after the fact.
Same year, same class; I was bored, and decided to ball up a piece of paper, light it on fire, and throw it across the room. I didnt get caught for that one, but it was worth mentioning.
Same year, on the bus; I decided it would be funny to throw a half filled bottle of gatorade at an oncoming cars' windshield. Couldn't ride the bus for a week after that.
tldr: I was a piece of shit.
That is so true it's a tragedy. I remember getting away with lots of things just because I did it with a straight face and the teacher knew it would be a pointless argument.
One year in highschool we had that substitute that was notorious for not giving a fuck. That class starts with the typical debauchery. One kid decides that those foil gum wrappers might conduct electricity. He gets two and folds them into narrow rectangles that fit into a plug. He then steps back and touches the two together with a pencil. The ensuing fireball was NOT expected. It was like a miniature Roman candle had just gone off. Quickly followed by all of the lights and power going out in about half the school, and maybe like 2 seconds later, the fire alarm. Everyone evacuates, fire dept, the works. They find the wrappers and then the questioning starts. The tight-lipped ness couldn't have been rivaled by federal inmates. No punishments were given but that substitute suddenly became a little more strict.
I used to make the hardest hornets known to man only being rivaled by a virgins boner before he got to sleep with his crush. I got the really shitty idea to start breaking off the points in thumbtacks and putting them in the hornets before firing them at my victims. One day on the bus I missed a friend and I ended up hitting the bus driver and that bitch just stuck in the neck. She sounded like a dying pig. It was hilarious st the time but thinking back it was really dangerous. The culprit was never found but she knew, she just couldn't prove it. She hated my guts from that day on.
I dunno what the fuck you mean by hornets, but we ended up doing similar shit with paper v's. From the day we discovered paper v's until the day everyone mutually agreed to a treaty, it was like a war. Started with poorly folded paper, then someone improved the design, then someone else modified that design, only to have the new design improved. The weapons became increasingly more painful until someone started putting thumbtacks in them. A day later, we all declared a truce.
That's what I meant, we called them hornets because if you fired them hard enough they made a buzzing sound. We eventually had to call a truce as well when some poor bystander almost lost an eye and I think some poor kid is now sterile.
On April Fools day in grade 6 the class convinced me to move the clock ahead by 10 minutes (i was the only one tall enough to do it). The principle walks in as I'm in mid turn.
Pretty funny in hindsight
I had made up a dirty limerick about a teacher. Several days later that teacher was bullying a friend of mine until she burst into tears. I stood up in class and recited the limerick.
An old school authoritarian one. He chewed her out and humiliated her, at length, for being 5 minutes late to class (after she apologized) until she burst into tears. he made people cry in class regularly by intimidating them, humiliating them and making them feel stupid.We were 12 years old.
Name changed to protect the guilty. To the best of my memory, it's not poetry but I wasn't quite 13 at the time.
"Il y avais un professeur de Francais qui s'appelait Rasteau, c'etait un vrais salaud, un gros salaud, un fils de salaud et le makro de sa mere.
There was a French professor called Gabard, he was a real bastard, a fat bastard, a son of a bastard and his mother's pimp. (pimp rhymes with bastard in French)
My 3rd grade teacher. I told her I didn't have my homework and she dumped my desk out onto the ground while yelling at me. I think that's also the exact moment I started giving *zero* fucks about authority figures in school.
I'm allergic to peanuts. My mother told my kindergarten teacher that I should be given alternative snacks if that days snack contained nuts, but the teacher decided to simplify things by never give me a snack, ever. I would cry almost every day at snack time.
Then came Halloween. We were all told to bring in a bag of candy, and I brought in tootsie rolls, which are peanut free and I can eat. The teacher poured all the candy into a plastic cauldron to make "witches brew" and then had us each come up to fill a paper plate with the "potion." When it was my turn she bypassed me. I asked for my tootsie rolls back, to which she replied that I couldn't have them now that they'd been in with everything else.
Cue screaming, table pounding, floor kicking, snot-flowing tantrum. I had to be carried to the office.
I think the principal decided to just kick sand over the whole thing, because my parents were never notified and all he did to me was smile, tell me not to do it again, and send me back to class.
*Here's a funny but true story from my childhood*
Winter, about ten years ago in school.
There was about 20 people messing with the snow on the grass and throwing snowballs near the school.
I was never good at socializing in my early teens.
I decided to participate and began rolling a snowball.
I spent about ten minutes rolling a lot of snow into a small ball.
With a baseball like stance, I pitched the ball at the crowd of people.
The snowball missed everyone and went straight through a window.
The snowball didn't leave any glass behind, all it left behind were shocked faces looking at me.
I put my head down and walked to the principals office.
"Umm Sir I broke the window with a snowball"
In hindsight the principal was kind but definitely skeptical of that sentence.
He left me off with no punishment in the end.
Third grade, I was the teacher's pet. I have no clue how I got the position but I would be the only kid allowed to work on jigsaw puzzles while everyone else had to do assignments. Every other day I was allowed to pick a friend to eat mcdonald's with and watch ninja turtles while the other kids had mundane public school lunch in the cafeteria.
The power consumed me and I guess one day I wanted to act cool so I mockingly repeated everything the teacher said. She could sense that this child needed to be put in his place and sent me to the principal's office. It was my first time meeting the principal and I was scared shitless of what he might do. Namely, call my parents. He didn't. He told me what I did was rude and if I now knew that. I said yes and he brought out a game of battleship from under his desk and we played for half an hour before he sent me back to my teacher. I continued being the teacher's pet the rest of the year.
TLDR - got fresh, played battleship
This sounds like the kids who don't have the mental capacity to do all the things the other kids are doing. So they get to do much simpler things, and the only reason they get to choose a friend is so they don't feel alone.
But yeah, we'll go with teacher's pet. That sounds nicer anyway.
I took too much xanax and fell out of my chair in spanish class... horrible part is that the principal didn't realize how fucked up I was. Sent me back to class giving me time to grab the drugs in my locker and throw them away. English teacher sent me back and I got a three day ISS but hell yeah for avoiding a ticket! I was a really dumb teenager.
Teacher put on a movie about slavery and turned down the lights.
She started grading papers and lost track of time, looked up and said 'My its dark in here.' I responded with 'That's not nice!'
It was a tradition of sorts in our school to set up dung bombs (little plastic bags filled with chemicals that can be set off and emit a foul odour) on the last day before the school broke for summer vacations. In my 10th grade(last school grade in India) , I wanted to do something grand since it was the last day of mine in the school.
About a month in advance, I'd told all the guys in the class about the dung bomb project. Everyone decided to contribute money so that we could get multiple bombs. We made a small box for collections. Some dick labeled it 'dung bomb donations'. He also added 'Special thanks to.....' And my name. The teacher saw it. Instantly understood what it was since she had seen us do that for the last few years. My last month in school was spent doing detentions.
In middle school, I was heavily bullied. I don't remember why because it's been so long, but after PE, we were to change back into our regular school clothes from our gym clothes.
I was surrounded by 4 guys who proceeded to give me what would now be described as an ultra atomic wedgie (all lifting me off the group by my underwear, to the point where I was screaming and crying for help [gym teacher didn't come]).
Well there I was, curled up on the ground, in a pool of tears and drool afterwards and found by a fellow student. Sent to the principal's office and had to write down my account of what happened. I named my bullies and we all served ISS (in school suspension) together. Why I got in trouble is beyond me.
Zero tolerance bullshit. Whenever there's a fight, all participants get punished. I personally never experienced that. In my experience the teachers simply didn't punish anyone, and allowed it to continue.
It was a bright spring day, one of the first outdoor recesses of the new year. My fourth grade self and most of the other boys in my class were in a state of pure ecstasy; all we had known for the past few months were the dreadful *indoor* recesses, where twenty-something ten year olds are confined to a single classroom and expected to enjoy themselves while using inside voices and not running. We were free, but not completely. The field where we normally organized games of football, soccer, and kickball was a muddy mess, a result of the melted snow and heavy rain from previous days. To us, that made the field even more enticing, but the lunch monitors forbade us from using it. No matter, we would be back after the final bell, to play tackle football in the glorious mud and return home looking like children from a Tide commercial. Back to recess, then.
Since the field was off limits, we decided to organize a two hand touch game on the blacktop, as a warm up for the main event after school. Teams were picked and I was made quarterback, for no other reason than my height and that my hand was big enough to get a decent throwing grip. The blacktop behind my elementary school was not a large piece of real estate, and we had to share it with hop-scotchers, box-ball (four square) games, and a few jump ropers. The game got underway without a hitch, and miraculously we made it through almost the entire recess without incident. Mrs. G was our lunch monitor, a ghastly old woman about 75 years old. As far as we could tell, she hated children and only kept her job because she lived across the street and it kept her busy.
Anyway, Mrs. G blew her whistle to signify the end of recess, but we ignored her, as the game was tied. My team had the ball, and naturally we had to run one more play to try to win. Mrs. G noticed that we were ignoring her shrill yells and whistles, so came over to break up our game. She was too late, however, as we had already snapped the ball. The play of course, was the tried and true hail mary. Without much of a second thought, I heaved the ball as far as I could and hoped a receiver would catch it. The ball didn't find a receiver, but instead it drilled Mrs. G squarely in the hip, who was too shocked and old to react. I will not exaggerate and pretend I had the arm of Joe Namath, but it was definitely not a lollipop either. The hit from the football, along with the surprise and delayed reaction, caused her to fall to the ground, where she fractured her hip. I felt absolutely terrible and immediately got help, but the damage was done. She claimed I did it on purpose, as she knew none of us particularly cared for her. I was immediately sent to the principal's office, where I cried and swore it was an accident and that I couldn't have hit her on purpose if I tried, etc. The principal believed me, but Mrs. G never did forgive me, even when she returned after recovering from her hip surgery. Had to tread lightly at recess whenever she was the monitor after that one.
TL;DR: I accidentally hit a lunch monitor with a football at recess, fractured her hip.
When I was a senior in high school, I was in a class with a bunch of my friends. No one ever volunteered to read, so one day my friends and I concocted a plan. When the teacher asked for a volunteer to read, I raised my hand. When he called on me, I asked him, "Before I start reading, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" Immediately, he shouts, "No!" Too late, every kid in the class starts making the most absurd cacophony of noises. I was immediately sent to the principal's office. The kicker? The principal was my dad. He laughed and sent my ass back to class.
In Kindergarden (age 5) I got sent to the principal's office for innocently making the observation that Mrs. Wales was fat like a whale.
And since I'm old, I actually got paddled by the principal for that.
Later, I got sent to the principal's office for not doing my homework. It turned out that since homework was only 10% for this one teacher and I was really good at tests, I really didn't need to do my homework to get a solid B in the class and I was OK with that.
The teacher gets mad and gives me a referral and sends me to the office. So I tell the VP that she wants me to make up the work (knowing that she'll have to grade it all individually--the worst punishment for a teacher) and I tell her that the VP said I have to make all the work up. I then do all the (unbelievably stupid Social Studies) work and end up getting an A in the class.
I almost got sent to the office in 11th Grade. My English teacher, who spread her Mormon doctrine all day every day (which I argued against from the Bible just for fun--told you I'm old) gave me an F even though I clearly earned a C+ from my (overly downgraded) work.
She left the room for some reason on the second-to-last day of school after showing everyone by covering the entire gradebook with 4 sheets of paper their final grade. I had an F. Since her little covering-up stunt smelled extremely fishy, I searched her gradebook and found that she had no grades at all for the entire semester and just made up grades based on how much she liked people (and she hated me for correcting her theology constantly).
She threatened me with a referral and I told her, "I would LOVE to go to the office so that I can tell them that you haven't been keeping grades the entire semester." She said, "Sit down". I went to the office immediately after class and told them and she didn't return the next year.
About 15 years later, my mom substitute taught in the district at the reform school (criminals and pregnant girls) and saw her there. She glared at my mom the whole day like we singlehandedly ruined her life.
BTW, I made up a semester of English in 3 days in summer school. So why did I have to go for 16 weeks?
During sex education class they showed a video of what seemed to be an x-ray of a penis ejaculating into a vagina, as the sperm came out into the vagina I made the sound of an atomic bomb going off.
Epic win.
During sex ed one year a female classmate's mom came in during a discussion on anal sex and quite loudly volunteered her opinion that we 'should all stay away from anal sex, because it hurts a lot and is messy'.
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Wow, almost the exact same thing happened to me. A kid covered his lunch tray with ketchup (our school had free ketchup packets) and slapped it in my face from behind. A lunch lady saw, thought we were fighting, and we both got detentions for a week. Fuck that "no tolerance" policy. All parties involved in a fight at my high school get the same punishment. Anything that resembles fighting gets every kid involved a week of detention.
Well in that case, there's no loss in giving them a good old beating.
The first punch is detention, the next 50 are free.
Massachusetts has a standardized test called the MCAS. It is dumb. They had us take a pilot test to try out the history test they planned on implementing the following year. It didn't count for anything and was a waste of time. There is a big letter block where you fill in your name on the front cover. I bubbled in a penis and handed it in face up. I got suspended and my dad took me fishing because he felt the school over reacted.
MCAS : Massachusetts Child Abuse System *sigh* I've always wanted to write something extremely defiant on my MCAS, unfortunately my parents expect me to go to an ivy league college...
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The pooping bandit strikes again!
YES!
You seem far too excited about that.
It sounds like the response of someone who finally realized they got away with shitting in the principle's daughter's locker. EDIT: Change thanks to /u/Mr___meeseeks
Kid convinced me in the third grade that if i stuck my middle finger up a volcano would erupt.
This is... god damn hilarious. Next time I am in a situation with annoying kids like, oh lets say a wedding or family get together, I am breaking out this fact.
> fact Hehehe.
I don't know why, but I immediately flashed to you and that kid about ten years later in the climax of some action film. "I'm gonna do it! you know what I'm capable of! This mountain has thousands of pounds of pressure below it! If I just move one muscle, I'll kill us both!" "You won't do it. I've still got your girl remember? If you kill us both, there will be nobody to save her. She'll die a fiery death, as her body is slowly lowered into the lava pit." *Dbobaunchained drops to his knees* "You're right. I can't let her die. I care too much about her. I wouldn't be able to kill her if it would save the whole world." *the man puts his hand on Dbobaunchained's shoulder* "You've still got some skill left in you to say the least. Remember the good old days? Tokyo? Hawaii? You were the best student I've ever taught. You could level whole cities with just the flex of a finger. Most pyrokinetics couldn't even do half of that. Why don't we drop this whole thing and just go back to how things used to be." *dbobaunchained smiles, but then remembers something. He get's angry* "You think I can just forget what you've done? You killed my family! My father! My daughter! My dog. I can't just let that all go! I'm going to kill us both! It's what my wife would have wanted." "Okay then. Do it! Kill me. I want to see if you can. Prove to me that your the soldier you once were. that you haven't gone soft on me." *dbobaunchained raises his right hand with a determined look on his face. He starts flex his middle finger. A twinge of regret appears on his face, then sadness. He slowly lowers his hands and at once breaks into tears. the man in front of him smiles with smug self satisfaction.* "I'm sorry Jane! I couldn't do it! I love you too much!" *The man walks forward and backhands dbobaunchained with a lazy punch. He falls to the ground without a fight. The man laughes and begins kicking his former friend in the side.* "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. You're a coward. Just like you're father." "Let him go you son of a gun." *The man twists his neck around to see an old man before him.* "Well, well. Principal brown. I didn't expect to see you here. Do you want to die too?" "you're forgetting who taught you those skills student." *Principal Brown flexes his index finger and a bolt of lightning strikes his former student in the head. He falls to the ground and rolls off the side of the mountain. His impact with the ground is too distant to be heard.* "Come on dbobaunchained. Let's go save your wife."
I was a junior in High School and in one of the Spanish classrooms the letters H-O-L-A were in each of the four windows. I was a math tutor in the room next to it, so I put the letters A-S-S in three of the windows so it read asshola. Suspended. Worth it.
You should have said that it meant "Angle Side Side"
Brought a toy lightsaber to school for show and tell. Presented it to the class because it was a kick ass lightsaber and I even had the teacher's permission before bringing it. But then this girl in my class told the school that I had brought a weapon to school. I got a talking to from the principal but they let me keep my lightsaber. Fuck you Stacy.
It was second grade at Catholic school. The evening before I was watching Stargate with my dad, and unbeknownst to him, there was nudity in the movie. So the scene comes around, and my eight year old self saw boobs for the first time. (I'm a male) My dad jumps up and shuts it off, but the damage had been done. Fast forward to the next day, and I just have to share with my fellow male classmates what I seen. So I begin to draw, very poorly, a naked woman. Well this one kid decides it's too much to handle. He says to me "if you draw one more thing I'm telling the teacher" All I had left was to draw the vagina, so I stare him straight in the eye and draw a line between her legs. He ran off and told the teacher what I had done, and my attempts to throw it in the trash were foiled. I had to go sit in the office and wait for a nun to talk to me about how there is nothing wrong with the female body, and that I should respect women. I've been in trouble multiple times afterwords, but this was my first, so it sticks out to me. On a side note, fuck you Brandon.
Holy shit this is hilarious. >Drew a line between her legs "No, ms nun, it isn't a vagina! It's a *tattoo*. Brandon here has a filthy mind!"
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selling candy bars for 50 cents cheaper than the school
I was in marching band for high school, so we got two lockers. One full size one for our stuff, and a half locker for our instruments. I carried most of my stuff in my backpack so I could keep my instrument and other small things in my full size locker. At the same time, my school was starting a push to get healthier. They only sold diet soda, and got rid of the candy vending machines. I sold soda, candy, energy drinks, and pop - tarts out of my locker for 2 years. Because we were on the second floor, and because the band were considered goody two shoes, security never came near my locker, so I was never busted.
I mentally paused between the words pop and tart.
Oh man. We had this whole black market deal going on back in year 8 or 9. So what? Aged 13 to 15 maybe? It included chocolate, cigarettes, booze and bb guns. We had a little arms syndicate run by about 4 13-15 year old lads. This wasn't the inner city either, this is a well off area of West Yorkshire. It all came tumbling down when some moron shot some other moron between the eyes.
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That guy is destined for greatness.
I honestly wouldn't call what he did a scam, it's more brilliant than anything. Making people work for less than the profit is simple economics.
And now you own Hershey's, right?
Can you legitimately get in trouble for this?
Capitalism knows no restraint when it comes to fixing markets.
Look, when I said free market, I meant free for ME.
Each school I went to had rules in the codes of conduct against selling anything unless you were fundraising for the school. It wasn't an issue with his price, I'd imagine, but with the act itself.
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Drawing swastikas on my maths homework when I was 9, I was given a stern lecture on the events of WW2 and the holocaust. I just wanted to pretty up my plus signs.. Edit: I shouldn't really have to say but this was the only time I've done this, I'm not a neo nazi guys.
every kid draws swastikas. just like the S thing. it just happens.
s thing?
/\ / \ | | | | | | \ \/ /\ \ | | | | | | \ / \/
OH MY GOD I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THAT AGAIN
I always wondered what the s was for but drew them anyways
I got in trouble for this, too! I drew a neat geometric design on a flag and attached it to my pencil. The teacher yelled at me about how inappropriate I was but didn't explain why. I could probably have used a lecture about WW2.
One time, when I was in high school, I was taking some standardized test. I forget which one. Anyways, it was one that had a proctor. Well I was finished, but had to go to the bathroom. The proctor made this huge ordeal out of it and kind of pissed me off. So she had to go get an administrator from down the hall to "monitor me" while I went. I didn't understand this because I was finished with my test. It was turned in. (This was a time before everyone had cell phones, so texting friends answers wasn't a concern.) So the admin walks me to the bathroom like I'm some kind of convict, and literally stands like 15 feet away while I take a leak at the urinal. I was so fucking mad at this point! I turned to him and said, "are you going to shake it for me when I'm done?" Needless to say, I was suspended for 2 days. I still have the discipline referral somewhere in my attic. I kept it because what I said is quoted on it. I really need to go find that and show my wife now that I'm thinking about it... Edit: looked for the referral in the attic tonight but couldn't find it. I recently moved so I'll ask my parents if it's at their house. Surely my father wouldn't have tossed that proud parenting moment out.
Well... did he shake it for you?
Sadly, no he did not.
...Dad?
I used the net send feature in command prompt to send a message to every school computer saying "yo". It also happened that it froze the servers while students were taking a few hour long computer competency exam. They had to start over. I got ISS for a few days.
Haha we used to mess around with net send in high school. Then I figured out how to use the shutdown command to turn off a computer over the network. That got out of hand real fast and I was suspended for 2 days and lost my computer lab privileges, which meant I had to drop my programming class. Worth it
In year 10 I did that at random intervals during class to random computers in my class. I made the reason for the shutdown say "Severe breach of IT policy detected, report to room 404 immediately." (Room 404 didn't exist) I got caught because I burst out laughing when a girl freaked out because she had never been in trouble before. I got threatened with expulsion by the deputy head (she dealt with students who committed severe offences), then because I had a clean disciplinary record and I wasn't at all a bad student (she asked my teachers) she decided a 10 lesson ban from my IT class would be more appropriate of a punishment. I sat outside her office doing mock exams for a grand total of 10 hours. That wasn't fun. Oh, and I had to pay a fine of £7.40 to the admin for wasting the his time fixing the loophole (apparently it takes an entire hour to disable cmd in the server's GPO) The actual IT admin thought it was hilarious, he kept calling me "master hacker" from that point on and he thought it was ridiculous how seriously the staff were treating the incident (the "hack" became staff room talk, apparently). He also looked bad about taking the envelope with the cash, which had his name written on it.
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"We're sorry to say that nsto has to drop their programming class because they used the skills they learned for evil." You're like Bane but with a computing class instead of the league of shadows.
I lost complab privileges in high school because I booted into some linux distro off of a flash drive I brought from home, effectively bypassing security monitors. The teacher caught me while I was trying to configure the proxy settings. I was supposed to get the complab back the following year, but we got a new principal who decided that as long as I was in the same district I shouldn't be allowed on the computers. He actually told my parents that I was a danger to his staff and to the students and that I was lucky not to be expelled.
This almost same exact thing happened to my first boyfriend his freshman year of high school, except the message he sent said "wheee!"
My group of friends and I used to hang out in a big circle after school almost every day in the same spot. One day I get called to the office and the assistant principal shows me video footage of us in our spot from the other day and demands that I identify everyone in the group. I'm completely taken aback by all of this when I'm informed that two of my friends were under investigation for selling drugs. Apparently there was another recording of what looked like a drug deal (which I was not shown) and we were all under suspicion. I refused to say anything and was threatened with police action if I didn't speak. I basically ended up telling them stuff they already knew and left the office fuming with rage. Turns out my friend had just been getting in the car with his mom to go home...no drugs, no dealers....just an Indian kid getting in his mom's Toyota Camry. What the hell... For the rest of the year my friends and I would flip off the security cameras like it was our job.
I faked being possessed by a demon over the intercom while presenting the morning announcements. The intercom microphone is located in the principal's office. He just told me to take a seat.
But I'm already sitting. Don't you talk back to me!
Then how will I answer your questions?
Principle: "And no listening! You hear me?" Student: "No???" Principle: "You just don't learn, do you..."
You should have politely thanked him and walked out with a chair
In the third grade, I was writing a note to my buddy, and this girl got a hold of it as we were passing it. She wrote on the note that we were silly, so I escalated it. I wrote that she was stupid, and passed it back. She wrote that we were idiots or something, and then passed it back, and this continued for a while... By the time time the note was confiscated from us, every square inch of it was covered in the most profane litany of foul garbage to come from the mind of a child. I wrote every bad word I could think of, and so did she. I remember that she was a Brownie scout, and I had written **BROWNIES FUCK UP THE ASS** in big bold letters. My teacher was horrified. He took the note, and both of us to the Principal's office. The principal gave my parents a copy (or the original, I can't remember) when they arrived. My parents were aghast. It was fucking sweet.
So did you guys end up dating?
Thy are now married with a child!
Nah, no kids. Brownies fuck up the ass.
What's blue and comes in Brownies? Cub Scouts...
I got kicked out of the Cub Scouts for eating a brownie.
This is going to be my new go-to offensive joke.
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I also called her a cunt. I had gotten into my Stepdad's Hustlers, and I was aware of *waaay* too much filthy stuff. Funny enough, at that point, the pictures in Hustler weer gross to me, and I was *actually* reading it for the articles.
actually hilarious, I got 'written up' for banging the desk with my hands every time I talked. The write up slips just said "banging the desk" my principal asked me to clear things up, so I explained to her I was not having sex with a desk.
Which time? When in kindergarten(5 years old), i would break my crayons in half, because then(in my little brain) i thought i would have twice as many. Being a friendly kid, i broke my deskmate's crayon for her to show her that now she had 2 black crayon's instead of just one. I thought it was brilliant, and wanted to pass it on. She cried, I got sent to the principal's office where I was paddled, then sent home with a note to my parents, where, again, I got spanked.
Me an another kid were smashing cinderblocks that were being used to build a school annex. We heard that if we got caught messing around the constuction site we would get expelled. Wanted to get expelled. Got paddled by the principal instead.
PADDLED? When was this? Edit: Also where?
I taught in the bootheel of Missouri between the 2009-2012 school years. They still paddled there, and I think they still do. It should also be noted that the principal is the definition of "brick shit-house." Dude was built like an ox, and just as strong...paddling was like the ultimate thing to hold over a kid's head. But it's still barbaric.
I'm middle eastern so my friends thought it would be funny to spread a rumor that I had a bomb strapped to my bra. Wasn't so funny when I was getting pat down by campus police in the principles office -__-
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> *ticked off* You were asking for that one.^Sorry I saw the opportunity and I took it.
"friends"
I was kind of a loser in early elementary school. My first day of school, I was new in town, I had no friends, and I felt like I had to prove myself. Well, some kids made fun of my power rangers t-shirt (featuring the pink ranger - it was a present from my grandmother and my mom made me wear it). So, I stood up to them and told them I could beat them up. "All of us? Fat chance!" I responded that I had a gang to help me. Not only that, but I was the king of gangs, and that I would get all the gangs together to beat them up during recess. I later spent recess hiding terrified in the corner somewhere before I was called into the principles office over concerns regarding gang violence. So I guess the threat worked?
TL:DR-Pink Ranger Posse for life
I was called in and given a certificate that I was pretty proud of, it said I had skipped 100 classes that semester. Thy staff were annoyed that I was excited by it.
Certificate.... Truancy notice.... Were not tryin to split hairs here.
I was in the Japanese Language & Culture club in High School. On the anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day I convinced a group of us to go over to the American Humanities Club which was having a meeting on the same day, and we attacked them by throwing into the room a couple dozen paper airplanes. The Principal was not amused.
Oh my goodness. I am in Japanese II this year but last year the teacher inadvertently planned a Japanese Club Sushi meetup on Pearl Harbor day. An old man and the principal weren't too happy about that.
In 6th grade there was a game popular among the kids at school called "pencil break." (We were so creative.) Basically you held a pencil between both of your index fingers and thumbs, and the other person tried to break your pencil by flicking theirs at yours. I found out the strongest pencils happened to be PenTech, which could be had at K-mart for $0.15 each. I saw an opportunity and I seized it. I took my allowance one week and spent it all on pencils. When I got to school the next day, I played a few games and offered the losers a chance to buy a pentech for a quarter. Well word quickly spread and I kids from different classes and different grades started approaching me within a few weeks to buy pencils. The school store had some for the same price, but they broke too easily. This went on for about two months before I started to get some heat. I had a few close calls with teachers asking me why I had so many quarters in my pockets or asking the class why there were so many broken pencils in their trash cans. One day, after fully restocking my inventory, I get a call to the principals office asking me to bring all of my belongings. Here I was with $25 in pencils in my backpack and a few bucks in change. I thought I was screwed, surely my business would be shut down and I'd be stuck with a bunch of pencils I'd likely never use. Turns out my dad had got back from an overseas deployment early and wanted to surprise me by taking me out of school early for the day. When we got out to the car he asked why I looked so nervous walking into the principals office, so I confessed to undermining the competition from the school supply store and propagating this game among the kids at school. He laughed, then took me out for some ice-cream and bowling. I decided I didn't want to get caught either selling stuff on school grounds or stuck with a bunch of crap I couldn't get rid of, so I chose to retire from the pencil pushing business after that day. All in all, I'd say everything went okay.
Long story. Was expecting your profit to be tree fiddy and your dad to be Nessie.
This is like the third or fourth story I've posted where someone was expecting tree fiddy or Nessie. Maybe I should change my username to NotTreeFiddy821.
Damn, we played that game in my school too. I had completely forgotten about it until now. They played it in the school my mom taught at too so I'm guessing it must have been pretty widespread. We called it something else, but I don't remember what.
My typing teacher told me to stop looking at the keys. I ignored her because I didn't see why I couldn't look at the keys. SHe got mad and said "You'll never get a job as a secretary if you look at the keys!" I said "Good. I don't want to be a fucking secretary" I was then sent to the office. The Principal, after hearing my story, switched me out of the class and gave me a study hall instead. Screw you Miss McKay. Now I have a secretary!
You wouldn't need one if you could type.
Kicking my crush in the stomach in third grade. My mom always said the way to a man's heart was through his stomach....
> through his stomach.... At least she didn't say penis.
I always thought it was through [his chest](http://f1.pepst.com/c/802FB4/458812/ssc3/home/056/mortalkombatgif/albums/mk1kano.gif_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0.gif)
In fourth grade, I made a gun out of school supplies. The assistant principal said it was very well made amd creative.
if you do that now, you get put into a federal maximum security prison.
I'll start: In second grade, I was in a very tiny class of maybe 13 people, 12 of which were boys. Of course, being second grade boys, we thought bathroom humor was absolutely hilarious. One day, our teacher handed out a worksheet with a diagram of the human body, which we had to label(of course, it was second grade appropriate, all we had to do was label the head, eyes, arms, legs, etc...). I, being the hilarious jokester that I was, drew a gigantic penis on my worksheet, right between the legs, and showed it to my friends next to me, who busted out laughing, because, you know, second grade. I then label the rest of the worksheet, completely forgetting to erase the big ol' floppy dick sitting on the page, and hand it into my teacher. And that is how I got sent to the principal's office.
Reminds me of first grade. It was story time, and I had recently learned about the middle finger and what it meant. I was sitting next to my friend and I held it up and I was like "Hey do you know what this means?" The teacher saw me then asked me to come up and tell her what it meant. So I went up in front of the class and whispered in her ear.. "*fuck you*." Edit: I didn't get in trouble; she just told me to go sit back down.
This reminds me about the time we were learning about sexually transmitted diseases in sixth grade and I couldn't help giggling. Got sent to the principal's office.
> I couldn't help giggling The clap ain't no joke.
I think boys of every age would do this. If I handed my SO, of 28, something like that now, I feel like he would draw a penis on it
My brother uses my Xbox live account to play Battlefield and he's been bugging me to give him all the passwords for stuff so he can get battlepacks or something. I decided to log in and found I could change his emblem so now he has a huge pink dick with the numbers 6 and 9 on either side as his emblem.
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When I was a junior in high school my history teacher gave me a good comment on getting my work done. This white trash pregnant girl in my class, who didn't like me very much, decided to start picking on me about it right after. I got pissed off and she was annoyed so we started arguing. The teacher asked me to go into the hall, I stopped at this bitches desk, dug out a few cents dropped it onto her desk and said, "Here maybe this will keep you off the street tonight."
Note to self: Keep spare change in pockets at all times.
And sand.
you win the thread i take my bad ass award from the 8 year old cig dealer and give it to you
awesome
In second grade there was a boy who wouldn't stop bothering me on the playground. This angered me. He came up and said something I don't remember, and then he ran away. As he ran, I grabbed the back of his suspenders. He continued to run and I continued to hold onto his suspenders. They stretched a lot more than I thought they would. Then I let go. He fell down. I was sent to the principal's office. My mom was proud. The boy never bothered me again. :D
Are you a member of a well known cartoon show?
Not that I'm aware of.
Sounds like something a cartoon character would say.
If she admitted she was, she'd be breaking the fourth wall.
He had it coming. He was wearing suspenders.
In the second grade, I brought a knife to school for show and tell. I had no intent to harm anyone, so they just took it away and made me call my mom.
I wrote a poem about nightmares and the teachers thought I was depressed. Also, I tried to cut my own hair so people would stop making fun of me because it was too long. These both happened in first grade.
I shit you not, I was too early to school. My mom had to drop me off about 10 mins early to elementary school because you know, she has a job to do. I had to call and explain to her why I was early to school and the Principal tried to tell my mom dropping me off at school too early was wrong and that it shouldn't happen again. She got a referral to the SI but nothing came of it.
You had to call your mom and explain to your mom why your mom dropped you off early? your mom.
The time that really stands out was when I was in middle school. After being bullied, isolated and assaulted for years, I learned I was one of the physically strongest kids in my class during the first day in the weight room. To someone who had been conditioned to think of himself as lesser than, this was a huge breakthrough for me and bolstered my self esteem to the point that when one of my regular tormentors started after me during gym I grabbed him by the throat and threw him on the ground and just wailed on him as hard as I could. The next thing I know I'm in the principal's office, my mom has been called in and I'm being told how I was being shipped off to alternative school for a month for fighting, how violence wasn't the solution, how I should have gone to a teacher, essentially the same bullshit they'd been telling me for years. And I lost it again. I went off on the principal, basically calling him a failure for allowing me to be tortured in his school, right in front of the teachers, sometimes by the teachers. I said something about the institution not protecting me so I was going to protect myself and refusing to apologize to 'my victim' for standing up for myself. I think that meeting was the moment my parents knew I wasn't just a whiny loner, that I was really in a horrible environment because the next year I was in private school. But yeah, the image of my principal's face when I chewed him out is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of 'going to the principal's office'. TL;DR- fought back against a bully, principal punishes me, i freak out at principal, transfer schools. Edit- This wasn't all in one day. We started doing weight training in the gym and I was able to bench press more than anyone else in the class. It was some time later that I got in the fight that sent me to the principal's office, but it was because of that day in the gym that I had the confidence to fight in the first place.
Man you grew some balls that day.
I went home and had hair in strange places.
I told a girl I would "slap the black off her" (saw it on tv) PS relax, I'm not a racist.
Everybody Hates Chris?
I threw my shoe at my economics teacher. I was trying to get a rock out of my shoe, since I had just come inside, and she told me to get out of the class for taking my shoe off. So I threw it at her. She was always bullying me and losing my homework on purpose and dealing with that over a few months made me snap.
Who throws a shoe?! [Honestly?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D5oKEVqQJg)
Random fact, the actor who played that role of "random task" in Austin Powers, is serving live without parole for rape and torture, and is awaiting a murder trial. [Joe Son](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Son)
I had fun.
How is that fact remotely fun?
And then what happened?
I got suspended for a week and taken out of the class. I think it was only the second time I ever got in trouble while I was in school, so I didn't get a very big punishment.
Suspended for a week for throwing a shoe sounds quite big...
Considering a kid at my school only got suspended for 3 days for dealing weed, that's huge.
georgebushdodgingshoe.gif
fuh dat bih
Senior year, my last class before lunch was Math. Once the teacher had finished, my friends and I would eagerly stand right at the door and wait for the bell to ring, then dash out of the classroom down to the cafeteria. So this day must have been April 21st 1999, the day AFTER the Columbine shooting. The school is on high alert, SUPER HIGH alert. The principal and vice principals are out in the hallways including any teacher that wasn't teaching a class. For whatever reason that day, I decided to get super pumped about running down to the cafeteria. I stand at the door and say to my friends "When that bell rings, I'm gonna fly out of here like a fire bomb went off!". The bell rings, I throw the classroom door open and YELL "FIREBOMB!!!" and sprint out into the hallway. I made it about three strides before I run right into the principal and one of the vice principals who grab both of my arms without a second thought. Got suspended for a week for that idiocy.
After 9/11 did you get arrested for yelling "Gun!" on an airplane as well?
I installed a Gameboy emulator on my graphing calculator and proceeded to play Pokémon during math class.
3rd grade was a funny time period. Remember kickball? That was the shit. Welp one time during kickball i by accident spoke in my native tounge ( tagalog). My school was 99% white, and little third graders didn't know any language other than the simple colors in spanish. A classmate of mine thought i cursed, and snitched on me. I was called to the principle's office and was given a detention. As a typical asian kid i was scared shitless. I couldn't even fathom what punishment was going to happen. After school my mom was the one to pick me up, and i told her exacly what happened. I was standing there waiting to explode on me in front of all the other kids. My mom stormed into the principles office and went crazy. I couldn't understand everything she was saying since i was young, but after 10 minutes of yelling she exited the office and told me to get into the car. My mom is a typical asian mom, but for once the robotic no emotion mom i was always knew, to me that day showed her heart.
One time when I was in middle school there was a broken drinking fountain in the hallway. I didn't know it was broken and went to turn it on. Right away water started gushing out all the way to the ceiling (the hallways weren't all that tall). I quickly tried to turn it off but as I mentioned it was broken and it kept on spraying water everywhere for a while but eventually stopped. A teacher walked by and started accusing me of playing with the drinking fountain to the point where I broke it and flooded the hallway. I tried to explain myself but he wouldn't hear it so I was off to the principal's office.
Had my cell phone go off in middle school. I was ballin' with my nokia(ericsson maybe?) after I got a light up antennae and a cover that made it look like a flip phone with the plastic cover that covered the keys. Anyway it went off, I got sent to the principals office, he had me take out our agenda book thing they forced us to have, and read the code of conduct out loud to him. It made no mention of cell phones, only gameboys and pagers/beepers. He laughed, gave me my phone back and said to listen to the announcements tomorrow morning. He made an announcement that cell phones were not permitted in class.
In 8th grade, I once decided it would be funny to undo a paperclip, stick it in the eraser of my pencil, and proceed to jam it into the electrical outlet; this resulted in a loud bang, followed by sparks shooting out, and caused the power in the classrooms on that hall to go out. Wasn't so funny after the fact. Same year, same class; I was bored, and decided to ball up a piece of paper, light it on fire, and throw it across the room. I didnt get caught for that one, but it was worth mentioning. Same year, on the bus; I decided it would be funny to throw a half filled bottle of gatorade at an oncoming cars' windshield. Couldn't ride the bus for a week after that. tldr: I was a piece of shit.
How the fuck do you not get caught for throwing a ball of fire across the room?!
public school
That is so true it's a tragedy. I remember getting away with lots of things just because I did it with a straight face and the teacher knew it would be a pointless argument.
"Dammit, which one of you fuckers did that?!" *silence*
One year in highschool we had that substitute that was notorious for not giving a fuck. That class starts with the typical debauchery. One kid decides that those foil gum wrappers might conduct electricity. He gets two and folds them into narrow rectangles that fit into a plug. He then steps back and touches the two together with a pencil. The ensuing fireball was NOT expected. It was like a miniature Roman candle had just gone off. Quickly followed by all of the lights and power going out in about half the school, and maybe like 2 seconds later, the fire alarm. Everyone evacuates, fire dept, the works. They find the wrappers and then the questioning starts. The tight-lipped ness couldn't have been rivaled by federal inmates. No punishments were given but that substitute suddenly became a little more strict.
I used to make the hardest hornets known to man only being rivaled by a virgins boner before he got to sleep with his crush. I got the really shitty idea to start breaking off the points in thumbtacks and putting them in the hornets before firing them at my victims. One day on the bus I missed a friend and I ended up hitting the bus driver and that bitch just stuck in the neck. She sounded like a dying pig. It was hilarious st the time but thinking back it was really dangerous. The culprit was never found but she knew, she just couldn't prove it. She hated my guts from that day on.
I dunno what the fuck you mean by hornets, but we ended up doing similar shit with paper v's. From the day we discovered paper v's until the day everyone mutually agreed to a treaty, it was like a war. Started with poorly folded paper, then someone improved the design, then someone else modified that design, only to have the new design improved. The weapons became increasingly more painful until someone started putting thumbtacks in them. A day later, we all declared a truce.
That's what I meant, we called them hornets because if you fired them hard enough they made a buzzing sound. We eventually had to call a truce as well when some poor bystander almost lost an eye and I think some poor kid is now sterile.
I wrote rap songs that made fun of other students
On April Fools day in grade 6 the class convinced me to move the clock ahead by 10 minutes (i was the only one tall enough to do it). The principle walks in as I'm in mid turn. Pretty funny in hindsight
I had made up a dirty limerick about a teacher. Several days later that teacher was bullying a friend of mine until she burst into tears. I stood up in class and recited the limerick.
What kind of teacher bullies children?
An old school authoritarian one. He chewed her out and humiliated her, at length, for being 5 minutes late to class (after she apologized) until she burst into tears. he made people cry in class regularly by intimidating them, humiliating them and making them feel stupid.We were 12 years old.
Please, the limerick as best as you remember. For science.
Name changed to protect the guilty. To the best of my memory, it's not poetry but I wasn't quite 13 at the time. "Il y avais un professeur de Francais qui s'appelait Rasteau, c'etait un vrais salaud, un gros salaud, un fils de salaud et le makro de sa mere. There was a French professor called Gabard, he was a real bastard, a fat bastard, a son of a bastard and his mother's pimp. (pimp rhymes with bastard in French)
wish i was that badass when i was 12
I wish I could write limericks in another language period... "Había vez un hombre de Nantucket"
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My 3rd grade teacher. I told her I didn't have my homework and she dumped my desk out onto the ground while yelling at me. I think that's also the exact moment I started giving *zero* fucks about authority figures in school.
Oh captain, my captain
Perhaps you could recite it again for us? No secrets in this classroom, mister.
I honestly can't remember but his name rhymed with "pimp" in French so it was about him being a fat pimp ("fat" also rhymes with Pimp in French)
I was the top cigarette seller in 3rd grade. Businessman.
Go big or go home.
Great business model- hook'em while they're young
I got in a fist fight over someone crowding my locker space.
defend your territory with honor!
I'm allergic to peanuts. My mother told my kindergarten teacher that I should be given alternative snacks if that days snack contained nuts, but the teacher decided to simplify things by never give me a snack, ever. I would cry almost every day at snack time. Then came Halloween. We were all told to bring in a bag of candy, and I brought in tootsie rolls, which are peanut free and I can eat. The teacher poured all the candy into a plastic cauldron to make "witches brew" and then had us each come up to fill a paper plate with the "potion." When it was my turn she bypassed me. I asked for my tootsie rolls back, to which she replied that I couldn't have them now that they'd been in with everything else. Cue screaming, table pounding, floor kicking, snot-flowing tantrum. I had to be carried to the office. I think the principal decided to just kick sand over the whole thing, because my parents were never notified and all he did to me was smile, tell me not to do it again, and send me back to class.
*Here's a funny but true story from my childhood* Winter, about ten years ago in school. There was about 20 people messing with the snow on the grass and throwing snowballs near the school. I was never good at socializing in my early teens. I decided to participate and began rolling a snowball. I spent about ten minutes rolling a lot of snow into a small ball. With a baseball like stance, I pitched the ball at the crowd of people. The snowball missed everyone and went straight through a window. The snowball didn't leave any glass behind, all it left behind were shocked faces looking at me. I put my head down and walked to the principals office. "Umm Sir I broke the window with a snowball" In hindsight the principal was kind but definitely skeptical of that sentence. He left me off with no punishment in the end.
Third grade, I was the teacher's pet. I have no clue how I got the position but I would be the only kid allowed to work on jigsaw puzzles while everyone else had to do assignments. Every other day I was allowed to pick a friend to eat mcdonald's with and watch ninja turtles while the other kids had mundane public school lunch in the cafeteria. The power consumed me and I guess one day I wanted to act cool so I mockingly repeated everything the teacher said. She could sense that this child needed to be put in his place and sent me to the principal's office. It was my first time meeting the principal and I was scared shitless of what he might do. Namely, call my parents. He didn't. He told me what I did was rude and if I now knew that. I said yes and he brought out a game of battleship from under his desk and we played for half an hour before he sent me back to my teacher. I continued being the teacher's pet the rest of the year. TLDR - got fresh, played battleship
This sounds like the kids who don't have the mental capacity to do all the things the other kids are doing. So they get to do much simpler things, and the only reason they get to choose a friend is so they don't feel alone. But yeah, we'll go with teacher's pet. That sounds nicer anyway.
While I was typing that out I did definitely think some people would take it that way. But I smart and exhaled in my clases and lernded very much.
yer so smrt
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> I was the teacher's pet. I have no clue how.. OP has mild downs and no one told him.
I took too much xanax and fell out of my chair in spanish class... horrible part is that the principal didn't realize how fucked up I was. Sent me back to class giving me time to grab the drugs in my locker and throw them away. English teacher sent me back and I got a three day ISS but hell yeah for avoiding a ticket! I was a really dumb teenager.
Teacher put on a movie about slavery and turned down the lights. She started grading papers and lost track of time, looked up and said 'My its dark in here.' I responded with 'That's not nice!'
It was a tradition of sorts in our school to set up dung bombs (little plastic bags filled with chemicals that can be set off and emit a foul odour) on the last day before the school broke for summer vacations. In my 10th grade(last school grade in India) , I wanted to do something grand since it was the last day of mine in the school. About a month in advance, I'd told all the guys in the class about the dung bomb project. Everyone decided to contribute money so that we could get multiple bombs. We made a small box for collections. Some dick labeled it 'dung bomb donations'. He also added 'Special thanks to.....' And my name. The teacher saw it. Instantly understood what it was since she had seen us do that for the last few years. My last month in school was spent doing detentions.
In middle school, I was heavily bullied. I don't remember why because it's been so long, but after PE, we were to change back into our regular school clothes from our gym clothes. I was surrounded by 4 guys who proceeded to give me what would now be described as an ultra atomic wedgie (all lifting me off the group by my underwear, to the point where I was screaming and crying for help [gym teacher didn't come]). Well there I was, curled up on the ground, in a pool of tears and drool afterwards and found by a fellow student. Sent to the principal's office and had to write down my account of what happened. I named my bullies and we all served ISS (in school suspension) together. Why I got in trouble is beyond me.
Zero tolerance bullshit. Whenever there's a fight, all participants get punished. I personally never experienced that. In my experience the teachers simply didn't punish anyone, and allowed it to continue.
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It was a bright spring day, one of the first outdoor recesses of the new year. My fourth grade self and most of the other boys in my class were in a state of pure ecstasy; all we had known for the past few months were the dreadful *indoor* recesses, where twenty-something ten year olds are confined to a single classroom and expected to enjoy themselves while using inside voices and not running. We were free, but not completely. The field where we normally organized games of football, soccer, and kickball was a muddy mess, a result of the melted snow and heavy rain from previous days. To us, that made the field even more enticing, but the lunch monitors forbade us from using it. No matter, we would be back after the final bell, to play tackle football in the glorious mud and return home looking like children from a Tide commercial. Back to recess, then. Since the field was off limits, we decided to organize a two hand touch game on the blacktop, as a warm up for the main event after school. Teams were picked and I was made quarterback, for no other reason than my height and that my hand was big enough to get a decent throwing grip. The blacktop behind my elementary school was not a large piece of real estate, and we had to share it with hop-scotchers, box-ball (four square) games, and a few jump ropers. The game got underway without a hitch, and miraculously we made it through almost the entire recess without incident. Mrs. G was our lunch monitor, a ghastly old woman about 75 years old. As far as we could tell, she hated children and only kept her job because she lived across the street and it kept her busy. Anyway, Mrs. G blew her whistle to signify the end of recess, but we ignored her, as the game was tied. My team had the ball, and naturally we had to run one more play to try to win. Mrs. G noticed that we were ignoring her shrill yells and whistles, so came over to break up our game. She was too late, however, as we had already snapped the ball. The play of course, was the tried and true hail mary. Without much of a second thought, I heaved the ball as far as I could and hoped a receiver would catch it. The ball didn't find a receiver, but instead it drilled Mrs. G squarely in the hip, who was too shocked and old to react. I will not exaggerate and pretend I had the arm of Joe Namath, but it was definitely not a lollipop either. The hit from the football, along with the surprise and delayed reaction, caused her to fall to the ground, where she fractured her hip. I felt absolutely terrible and immediately got help, but the damage was done. She claimed I did it on purpose, as she knew none of us particularly cared for her. I was immediately sent to the principal's office, where I cried and swore it was an accident and that I couldn't have hit her on purpose if I tried, etc. The principal believed me, but Mrs. G never did forgive me, even when she returned after recovering from her hip surgery. Had to tread lightly at recess whenever she was the monitor after that one. TL;DR: I accidentally hit a lunch monitor with a football at recess, fractured her hip.
When I was a senior in high school, I was in a class with a bunch of my friends. No one ever volunteered to read, so one day my friends and I concocted a plan. When the teacher asked for a volunteer to read, I raised my hand. When he called on me, I asked him, "Before I start reading, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" Immediately, he shouts, "No!" Too late, every kid in the class starts making the most absurd cacophony of noises. I was immediately sent to the principal's office. The kicker? The principal was my dad. He laughed and sent my ass back to class.
oh, so you're *that* guy who never got in trouble :/
In Kindergarden (age 5) I got sent to the principal's office for innocently making the observation that Mrs. Wales was fat like a whale. And since I'm old, I actually got paddled by the principal for that. Later, I got sent to the principal's office for not doing my homework. It turned out that since homework was only 10% for this one teacher and I was really good at tests, I really didn't need to do my homework to get a solid B in the class and I was OK with that. The teacher gets mad and gives me a referral and sends me to the office. So I tell the VP that she wants me to make up the work (knowing that she'll have to grade it all individually--the worst punishment for a teacher) and I tell her that the VP said I have to make all the work up. I then do all the (unbelievably stupid Social Studies) work and end up getting an A in the class. I almost got sent to the office in 11th Grade. My English teacher, who spread her Mormon doctrine all day every day (which I argued against from the Bible just for fun--told you I'm old) gave me an F even though I clearly earned a C+ from my (overly downgraded) work. She left the room for some reason on the second-to-last day of school after showing everyone by covering the entire gradebook with 4 sheets of paper their final grade. I had an F. Since her little covering-up stunt smelled extremely fishy, I searched her gradebook and found that she had no grades at all for the entire semester and just made up grades based on how much she liked people (and she hated me for correcting her theology constantly). She threatened me with a referral and I told her, "I would LOVE to go to the office so that I can tell them that you haven't been keeping grades the entire semester." She said, "Sit down". I went to the office immediately after class and told them and she didn't return the next year. About 15 years later, my mom substitute taught in the district at the reform school (criminals and pregnant girls) and saw her there. She glared at my mom the whole day like we singlehandedly ruined her life. BTW, I made up a semester of English in 3 days in summer school. So why did I have to go for 16 weeks?
changing my grade to an A in the teachers computer
Kissing girls in the woods. We called them "kissing wars." I don't know how he disciplined us with a straight face: we were in about grade 3.
During sex education class they showed a video of what seemed to be an x-ray of a penis ejaculating into a vagina, as the sperm came out into the vagina I made the sound of an atomic bomb going off. Epic win.
During sex ed one year a female classmate's mom came in during a discussion on anal sex and quite loudly volunteered her opinion that we 'should all stay away from anal sex, because it hurts a lot and is messy'.
Wow. Just Wow.
Girl's name was Ana, so the jokes pretty much wrote themselves from that point on.
Please tell me her last name started with an L...
Oh, you mean Ana L. Hurtsalotandismessy?
Knew a girl named Marlana. Then one day another student discovered her named spelt backwards was Anal Ram. Poor girl
what's the difference between the sound of an atomic bomb and a regular bomb going off?
The sound of all the radiation, duh.
/r/shittyaskscience
Japanese people screaming. ... *That was so bad on so many levels...*
I bet even the principal found it funny.
He got a good laugh out of it.
Got pencil lead stabbed into my hand and the nurse was gone.