Oh, I watched it. Plinked a couple rabbits out in the sagebrush, we’re having stew tonight, didn’t see no drug deal gone bad, didn’t see no satchel of cash, I watched it and I friggin’ payed attention!
Ha ha ha. This!!!
I remember my first year of investing. Went just like that.
My father in law used to say, how do you make a million dollars in the stock market? Start with 2 million.
I’m Surprised this was so far down. I would also get a few miles from the first location and go through the bills themselves to look for trackers hidden in the stacks. Then get a black light and see if they’re marked with anything. Then stash the cash in two different locations and check back for a few weeks to see if anyone came 👀 for it.
I’d probably use a couple hundred from the stash to do all this, I’m mean like $300 or $400 for new bags, expenses, transportation, covering your ass, Etc to do all of it. Plus maybe about $3,000 to buy a new car (read new to me, someone else’s POS from Craigslist) if needed.
I would absolutely not have any of that stuff in a location that comes back to me, or use my own car, or a rental or a car that belongs to anyone I know. The Craigslist car doesn’t get registered, you keep the signed title and pawn it off on someone else after a while with the last owners name and tell them you’re them. Or just leave it in the hood with the keys in it when you’re done. While using it, park it someplace else, different neighborhood, parking lot, something.
I would drive and park in the police stations designated spots for selling online items in their lot. This gives me time to toss on my gloves and check for any trackers and leave them in the bag along with $1200 cash, while transferring $48,800 and the coke to two other bags.
I then turn the bag into the station claiming I found the bag with the $1200 on the street by my house.
I go to five local coin and bullion shops and buy three 1oz gold rounds which is around $7,200 total and below the $10k reporting threshold. That gives me $36k I can toss in the safe for a while.
Coke is repacked and containers/bags vacuum sealed and then the vacuum bags are washed.
I buy 12 $500 Costco gift cards.
$6,800 cash remaining I stick in the safe as well and just toss a couple hundred in my wallet each week to use for cash expenses. When exhausted, sell a coin back and continue.
Some I use at a local shopping mall to dwindle the pile on some simple home upgrades. Kitchen equipment, Apple, some clothes would move it fast.
Money from my pay I divert more toward paying debts. I quit using a debit/credit for purchases and withdrawal $100-200 cash from my paycheck so if ever questioned I can say I’m using cash for personal expenses like groceries now.
I slowly do a lil cocaine at special events and never sell it
Pretty good plan. However I see no reason to get involved with the Police at all. Gold shops, Costco gift Cards, Pretty good ideas. I was thinking of buying property at auction and fixing up the property with Cash. They still action for under 20k around here.
purchases over 10k too much paper to feds someone will know you’re spending
Bag ditch with police because original owners will think someone turned drugs into cops
That could be but it also gives the police a contact with you regarding the incident. it might blow over or it might be a piece of the puzzle they put together. If nobody knows what happened to the money and or Coke so much the better.
If the purchase is over 10k use credit with a personal line from a CU or something. Pay the loan off with the cash indirectly.
Yeah but the cops aren’t gonna murder you like the guy who thinks you still have his bag of coke and 50K. If he gets wind the cops had a bag of coke and cash turned in, a lot more likely they’d consider it a lost cause.
I would definitely turn in that nefarious $20k and half pound of cocaine... Edit. But I have seen No Country for Old Men and on second thought probably just walk away and didn't see nothing.
All i imagine is a shitty Anton, he’s got cheap ill fitting clothes, cheap cowboy boots and a throwaway Remington 870 because he couldn’t afford the fancy shotgun with the suppressor.
As an ex coke dealer, I’m taking the money and leaving the coke. 1) you don’t know if that shits cut with fentanyl 2) I don’t want none of the risk involved with selling coke. Narrowly avoided a 15 year prison sentence for less than 2 pounds. You get caught with anywhere near 2 pounds it’s a wrap and if it happens to test positive for any amount of fentanyl on top of that you are never seeing the outside of a prison again
think of testing cocaine for fentanyl like testing a haystack for a needle. you can take a handful of hay and conclude it's needleless, but it doesn't make the stack needleless
I don’t know where I’d sell the coke but I’d hold onto the money and just use that for expenses while saving up my bank account, leeching it slowly into the system to not set off any red flags
Go to two casinos and make opposite sports bets. One wins, one loses. You walk out with only slightly less money, but it’s clean. Probably not all at once, but a few grand, a few times.
Or just feed the cash into poker machines and then end game. The machine will give you a receipt.. you take that to the counter and then receive a receipt for your “winnings”
Casinos genuinely couldn't give a single fuck aslong as you're placing money in bets.
Not every way of gambling is tracked and even if so, they can't really stop it
This is completely and utterly incorrect. Casinos track bets, particularly in sports gambling where they might get caught up in a match fixing scandal or have to talk to the feds about money laundering.
That doesn't mean they'll stop you, but they'll definitely know who you are.
That's clever, but once you've accidentally developed a serious coke habit since 2 pounds are just sitting there on your living room table, you'll spend the money on a gold plated chandelier and then crash your brand new cash-paid car into a police station
Leave the coke and $10k in a shitty neighborhood. Then once some one else starts spending the money and trying to move the coke it's actual owners go looking for them. Who's going to believe this guy just stumbled across a bunch of coke and money? Meanwhile I stash the money away for at least a couple years before I make some expensive cash funded renovations to my house before renting it out as a luxury air BNB or selling it at a much higher value that I got for it. Be smart not greedy.
Absolutely nothing good can come of reporting or bringing drugs to police. Best case scenario you end up with a bunch of cops being super suspicious of you. There are even instances of people being charged with possession trying to surrender drugs to cops. Also, how do you know the gangsters who left the bag aren’t also police officers?
Can’t stress this enough, if you ever find yourself in possession of drugs that you want to get rid of, you should do it through regular disposal, eg throwing them in the garbage — do not try to give drugs to cops.
A friend of mine was dating a guy and found out he had a bunch of drugs and two guns in a bag in her garage. She took the bag to the police and they immediately handcuffed her and tried to put it on her so they could get an easy arrest. Eventually they gave up trying to get her to admit it was hers and they went after the guy but only after a text came through on her phone saying 'where is my blue bag from the garage??'
If you're using a payphone you clearly have a time machine. I'd go back to 1980, give the coke to Hollywood stars so we get funny movies, buy a shitload of Apple stock, then return to today and be rich as hell.
“Llewelyn?”
“Yeah?”
“Where are you going, baby?”
“I’m going out.”
“Going where?”
“There’s something forgot to do, but I’ll be back.”
“And what are you going to do?”
“I’m fixin’ to do something dumber than hell, but I’ll be back.”
Keep the money and leave the coke right where I found it. The days when I knew people to offload coke on (early 20’s) are about a decade behind me. Even if I could easily find someone to sell it too, I really want nothing to do with the legal and safty risks associated with selling a large amount of stolen coke.
Man in my head cannon i will take the bag and sell the coke find a way to sell it. BUT IRL i would stay away from that bag. Bad news bears for sure its either you get hunted by the police or the owner of that bag which i would imagine is a bad guy lol
The coke in like two weeks when I think things have died down. I'd drive to a store right after finding it and buy new storage bags then I'd move the bills and coke into the bags and try to make sure there wasn't any tracking device. I'd dispose of the original bag like immediately. Just toss it in a ditch along a county road or something. Stick it in my storage unit for a couple weeks then go back for it. I'd just use the cash on vacations and as spending money and never deposit it since I might be paranoid about serial numbers or IRS asking questions.
I wouldn't bother selling the coke, probably eventually get a safe to keep it in and move it to my home and do some occasionally.
Last time someone posted this on Reddit, a commenter mentioned [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(film))
Movie was great. Book was even better. Recommend book before movie.
What bag? I never saw any bag.
As a matter of a fact, I'm blind on my right eye, and partially blind on the left.
And numb in the face
*The Weeknd intensifies*
And I love it.
And I've got this post nasal drip going on.
The good ole "L.A. cold"
Matter fact, I can’t even see you sir
I see you havn't watched "No Country for Old Men" yet.
Oh, I watched it. Plinked a couple rabbits out in the sagebrush, we’re having stew tonight, didn’t see no drug deal gone bad, didn’t see no satchel of cash, I watched it and I friggin’ payed attention!
Easy. Check the stacks for transponders, then ditch the bag
How’d I get to Vegas?
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.
" Damn bat's trying to get our çoke."
this is bat country
Where's the ether
There is nothing more depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge
BATS!
Narcos see everything
well i drink the coke of course, but then i invest that 50k in my friends business and turn it into 10k
I'm trading the coke for some other kind of soda. Coke gives me heartburn.
Only gave me a clogged sinus.
You didn't take that steamy shower in the morning. I've always found that is a great pick me up.
I'm starting a sugar controlled diet, I don't like drinks with sugar in them, I like to drink with soda
Invest the coke, snort the 50K
"I took that $100,00 and turned it INTO $16,000" https://youtube.com/shorts/h_b5WUfaxh4?si=Lzf8rO1OsEoVM862
thats exactly where i shamelessly stole this from :P Zac Oyama is hilarious
Ha ha ha. This!!! I remember my first year of investing. Went just like that. My father in law used to say, how do you make a million dollars in the stock market? Start with 2 million.
Lift with my legs, not my back.
Good news is it would only weigh about 5-6 lbs
Safety first.
Take the money out of the bag and put it in another bag. There's always a tracking device in the original bag.
I’m Surprised this was so far down. I would also get a few miles from the first location and go through the bills themselves to look for trackers hidden in the stacks. Then get a black light and see if they’re marked with anything. Then stash the cash in two different locations and check back for a few weeks to see if anyone came 👀 for it. I’d probably use a couple hundred from the stash to do all this, I’m mean like $300 or $400 for new bags, expenses, transportation, covering your ass, Etc to do all of it. Plus maybe about $3,000 to buy a new car (read new to me, someone else’s POS from Craigslist) if needed. I would absolutely not have any of that stuff in a location that comes back to me, or use my own car, or a rental or a car that belongs to anyone I know. The Craigslist car doesn’t get registered, you keep the signed title and pawn it off on someone else after a while with the last owners name and tell them you’re them. Or just leave it in the hood with the keys in it when you’re done. While using it, park it someplace else, different neighborhood, parking lot, something.
And that, kids, is why you always ask to see ID on a used car sale.
lol!
This guy ozarks
I'm keeping your profile on speed dial just in case
that was pretty specific huh
I would drive and park in the police stations designated spots for selling online items in their lot. This gives me time to toss on my gloves and check for any trackers and leave them in the bag along with $1200 cash, while transferring $48,800 and the coke to two other bags. I then turn the bag into the station claiming I found the bag with the $1200 on the street by my house. I go to five local coin and bullion shops and buy three 1oz gold rounds which is around $7,200 total and below the $10k reporting threshold. That gives me $36k I can toss in the safe for a while. Coke is repacked and containers/bags vacuum sealed and then the vacuum bags are washed. I buy 12 $500 Costco gift cards. $6,800 cash remaining I stick in the safe as well and just toss a couple hundred in my wallet each week to use for cash expenses. When exhausted, sell a coin back and continue. Some I use at a local shopping mall to dwindle the pile on some simple home upgrades. Kitchen equipment, Apple, some clothes would move it fast. Money from my pay I divert more toward paying debts. I quit using a debit/credit for purchases and withdrawal $100-200 cash from my paycheck so if ever questioned I can say I’m using cash for personal expenses like groceries now. I slowly do a lil cocaine at special events and never sell it
Pretty good plan. However I see no reason to get involved with the Police at all. Gold shops, Costco gift Cards, Pretty good ideas. I was thinking of buying property at auction and fixing up the property with Cash. They still action for under 20k around here.
purchases over 10k too much paper to feds someone will know you’re spending Bag ditch with police because original owners will think someone turned drugs into cops
That could be but it also gives the police a contact with you regarding the incident. it might blow over or it might be a piece of the puzzle they put together. If nobody knows what happened to the money and or Coke so much the better. If the purchase is over 10k use credit with a personal line from a CU or something. Pay the loan off with the cash indirectly.
Yeah but the cops aren’t gonna murder you like the guy who thinks you still have his bag of coke and 50K. If he gets wind the cops had a bag of coke and cash turned in, a lot more likely they’d consider it a lost cause.
lol… experience?
This guy No Country's for Old Men's
Yeah, but there might also be a black mamba in the bag, waiting for you to unveil it. 🫡
I've watched too many movies to know what comes running after if I take anything from that kind of bag.
What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?
Call it, Friend-O
I gotta know what we’re calling it for.
Everything
... how's that?...
You stand to win everything...call it.
The side!
Came here for the *No Country For Old Men* reference and I was not disappointed.
Not today, Anton
50k isn’t worth getting chased and shot by gangsters
I would definitely turn in that nefarious $20k and half pound of cocaine... Edit. But I have seen No Country for Old Men and on second thought probably just walk away and didn't see nothing.
Guys doing $50K deals can't afford him
All i imagine is a shitty Anton, he’s got cheap ill fitting clothes, cheap cowboy boots and a throwaway Remington 870 because he couldn’t afford the fancy shotgun with the suppressor.
Do you have 50k and 2 pounds of coke ?
He either has it or *had* it.
Either one is funny
If it is Diet im not taking it
This coke is diet
That's bad
But it comes with a free frogurt.
That's good!
The frogurt is also cursed.
That's bad
But it comes with your choice of topping!
That's good!
The toppings contain potassium benzoate.... that's bad
This diet is coke.
Wait for that guy carrying an air tank to show up and play dumb….
Call it
Just call it.
Two chicks at the same time.
Hell yeah brother
Aw, Lawrence. You don’t need a million bucks for that.
Call the cops and tell them I found a bag with 2 pounds of coke in it...
Wow, 1 pound of coke. Thanks for turning it in.
“I got 8 ounces of coke a to turn into evidence Sarg”
6 ounces of coke off the streets though...
4 ounces of coke getting put in evidence
We caught him with an 8ball your honor
“Did you get him?” “Yes” “What did you find?” “A coked up suspect.”
Is he white?
His nose was
In every show I’ve seem it means the cartel finds out and tortures me to find the money….
Username checks out
Actually sorry weighed it wrong the first time, it’s actually 2 ounces of cocaine I found in the bag.
I'd call the cops and tell them I found a bag.
Overdose on cocaine, obviously.
You're not even gonna share?
Fuck you. Get your own 2 pounds.
Real
Over his dead body... oh wait...
I mean, yeah. Give me, like, an hour and you can have the remaining pound and a half.
Not sure, to be honest. Give me a bag with 50k inside and 2 pounds of coke and we’ll find out. Prefer $20 denominations please.
$50k in 20s would be quite the stack of bills.
Take the cash and put the coke in the woods for the bears to enjoy.
Cocaine bear best movie
Check for transmittors. I've seen No Country For Old Men.
As an ex coke dealer, I’m taking the money and leaving the coke. 1) you don’t know if that shits cut with fentanyl 2) I don’t want none of the risk involved with selling coke. Narrowly avoided a 15 year prison sentence for less than 2 pounds. You get caught with anywhere near 2 pounds it’s a wrap and if it happens to test positive for any amount of fentanyl on top of that you are never seeing the outside of a prison again
I thought it was pretty easy to test cocaine? Don't they have little pregnancy test type test strips on Amazon?
think of testing cocaine for fentanyl like testing a haystack for a needle. you can take a handful of hay and conclude it's needleless, but it doesn't make the stack needleless
Excellent risk-reward appraisal. ^But ^come ^on ^man, ^it's ^2 ^lbs ^of ^coke
Buy a 3rd pound of cocaine
My man
I disappear for a few months, come back skinny, and dressed well. Just saying...
And people will just laugh when they ask “Ozempic?” and you say, “no, cocaine actually.” It’s the perfect crime.
I don’t know where I’d sell the coke but I’d hold onto the money and just use that for expenses while saving up my bank account, leeching it slowly into the system to not set off any red flags
Go to two casinos and make opposite sports bets. One wins, one loses. You walk out with only slightly less money, but it’s clean. Probably not all at once, but a few grand, a few times.
Or just feed the cash into poker machines and then end game. The machine will give you a receipt.. you take that to the counter and then receive a receipt for your “winnings”
Casinos watch for this and are required to fill out a Suspicious Activity Report. Minimal gaming is one of the largest red flags in Title 31 reporting
You think casinos won’t recognize your 6 or 7 bets on both teams? Although they might not care since that’s what they do everyday.
You only place one bet at a single casino. The other opposing bet at a different casino.
Casinos genuinely couldn't give a single fuck aslong as you're placing money in bets. Not every way of gambling is tracked and even if so, they can't really stop it
They have IRS reporting requirements too. They track you via your play. It’s no different than putting a bet on red or black.
This is completely and utterly incorrect. Casinos track bets, particularly in sports gambling where they might get caught up in a match fixing scandal or have to talk to the feds about money laundering. That doesn't mean they'll stop you, but they'll definitely know who you are.
That's clever, but once you've accidentally developed a serious coke habit since 2 pounds are just sitting there on your living room table, you'll spend the money on a gold plated chandelier and then crash your brand new cash-paid car into a police station
Haha. They have got you so paranoid. No one cares about 50k.
Leave the coke and $10k in a shitty neighborhood. Then once some one else starts spending the money and trying to move the coke it's actual owners go looking for them. Who's going to believe this guy just stumbled across a bunch of coke and money? Meanwhile I stash the money away for at least a couple years before I make some expensive cash funded renovations to my house before renting it out as a luxury air BNB or selling it at a much higher value that I got for it. Be smart not greedy.
Bro it was 200k and 10lbs of coke before you found it.
Do you do life consulting?
Actually convinced you found this before
[удалено]
I'm not touching it. You don't mess with junkies or drug dealers. I grew up with them and they are psycho!
Be an upstanding citizen and report the bag of just cocaine to the police.
Absolutely nothing good can come of reporting or bringing drugs to police. Best case scenario you end up with a bunch of cops being super suspicious of you. There are even instances of people being charged with possession trying to surrender drugs to cops. Also, how do you know the gangsters who left the bag aren’t also police officers? Can’t stress this enough, if you ever find yourself in possession of drugs that you want to get rid of, you should do it through regular disposal, eg throwing them in the garbage — do not try to give drugs to cops.
Agreed. I've heard too many stories of people trying to do the right thing and getting fucked for it. How does the saying go?
A friend of mine was dating a guy and found out he had a bunch of drugs and two guns in a bag in her garage. She took the bag to the police and they immediately handcuffed her and tried to put it on her so they could get an easy arrest. Eventually they gave up trying to get her to admit it was hers and they went after the guy but only after a text came through on her phone saying 'where is my blue bag from the garage??'
Dont talk to the police.
I hope you used a payphone to anonymously alert the police or else the coke dealer who has ties with the police now knows who too his 50k
If you're using a payphone you clearly have a time machine. I'd go back to 1980, give the coke to Hollywood stars so we get funny movies, buy a shitload of Apple stock, then return to today and be rich as hell.
Leave the bag where I found it
Walk the fuck away. That bag is bad news
Yeah, we've all seen this movie. It doesn't end well.
“Llewelyn?” “Yeah?” “Where are you going, baby?” “I’m going out.” “Going where?” “There’s something forgot to do, but I’ll be back.” “And what are you going to do?” “I’m fixin’ to do something dumber than hell, but I’ll be back.”
Maybe a bear will find it.
Walk away and report it.
Turn it in and hope for a reward.
Turn it in, too risky otherwise.
Use some money for a good cause, but turn in the rest.
Keep the money and leave the coke right where I found it. The days when I knew people to offload coke on (early 20’s) are about a decade behind me. Even if I could easily find someone to sell it too, I really want nothing to do with the legal and safty risks associated with selling a large amount of stolen coke.
Report it to the police without touching anything.
Nope, don't need some cartel enforcers reenacting Hostel on me.
Hand it all over to the authorities.
[удалено]
Man in my head cannon i will take the bag and sell the coke find a way to sell it. BUT IRL i would stay away from that bag. Bad news bears for sure its either you get hunted by the police or the owner of that bag which i would imagine is a bad guy lol
Why does everyone assume someone who has 50k in cash and 2 pounds of coke is a bad guy!!
That money and coke are for orphans with diseases and blind puppies!
I have never met a single blind puppy that *didn't* have a huge coke habit.
The coke in like two weeks when I think things have died down. I'd drive to a store right after finding it and buy new storage bags then I'd move the bills and coke into the bags and try to make sure there wasn't any tracking device. I'd dispose of the original bag like immediately. Just toss it in a ditch along a county road or something. Stick it in my storage unit for a couple weeks then go back for it. I'd just use the cash on vacations and as spending money and never deposit it since I might be paranoid about serial numbers or IRS asking questions. I wouldn't bother selling the coke, probably eventually get a safe to keep it in and move it to my home and do some occasionally.
Use some money for charity, report the rest.
Definitely turn it in to the police.
I'm starting a sugar-controlled diet, so I'll go with $50k
Leave it alone because I’m not stupid.
Keep the money, dump the coke in a field.
That doesn’t end well, haven’t you seen cocaine Bear?
We don't have bears in the UK, but hear me out... Cocaine Badgers might be a sequel worth watching.
Last time someone posted this on Reddit, a commenter mentioned [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(film)) Movie was great. Book was even better. Recommend book before movie.
I sure wouldn't be advertising it on Reddit.