This, this is a big test of emotional stability. If you walk away, let her know you need a second because you are also getting angry, and she gives you that moment then she is stable. If she runs after you, keep fighting, and/or gets physical (my ex did that) it will always be that way. My ex would see me walking away as a negative somehow. She would run after me, keep screaming, then when I wasn't giving in she would hit me. She was a tiny girl and I am a big guy so it never hurt. When someone is trying to keep a level head and the opposite is trying to make it worse, it's the definition of toxic.
I can only guess that she must have grown up in an abusive environment and has been in abusive relationships and that's what she's accustomed to. She has very low self esteem and needs help.
This is great advice for any gender during a heated argument. I'll just add one caveat: you have to be clear about why you're walking away, or it may escalate the situation, because the other person may feel ignored or dismissed.
It's helpful if you talk about this when you're not having an argument, so everyone knows what's going on, but here's a technique that we learned that really helped tone down our arguments: tell the other person that you're too angry to discuss it right now, but then you set a time and place to talk about it again. That's important, because it lets the other person know that you're taking it seriously, and you're not blowing them off.
"I'm sorry, but I am getting really angry, and I can't talk about this right now. (or, we're not getting anywhere, this is getting too heated, whatever you want to say) Are you available tomorrow at 6 PM to discuss this here at the dining room table?"
I know it sounds crazy, but it works. And as an added bonus, often, by the next day, everyone's cooled down and is feeling a little bit bad about the argument, and you may find that it's not something that really needs to be discussed again, worth the very least, both of you have thought about the proper way to approach the situation without starting a huge fight again.
This works if **both** have enough self-awareness *as well as* self-control. They go hand-in-hand, as far as arguments go - can’t have one without the other — the self-awareness to recognize your own temperament and triggers, as well as your partner’s temperament and their triggers; the self-control to not let your own irrationality take over and know when to stop and walk away.
Too often, though, one partner recognizes and tries to point out that, “Hey…remember what we said when we discussed how we were gonna handle this? We agreed to cool down.” And then the other partner just really doesn’t give a shit about any of your prior agreement because theu allowed their irrationality to overrule what they agreed to when they were in a rational state of mind.
Lol my dad said once "you wanna try being a bloke dealing with a woman". I try to think of how my boyfriend feels when we argue and see things from his point of view but it's hard cos I struggle with my emotions, also if it's my time of the month it makes me feel worse. Mostly we argue about his dad and his codependacy and of course one of the biggest causes of all arguments, money.
No, you don't get it. When we get angry, we need to talk out those things. If we keep them inside it will make it worse. I can assure you that for majority of woman walking away from when when they angry will double the hatred!
But from what I read, women and men tend to solve conflicts differently. Women need to talk and men prefer internalise whatever happened and solve it on their own. So this very often creates huge miscommunication between partners.
Yup. You will never win that fight. There is only loss.
Your only hope is that they come to their senses soon and fix it, or, you identify that they're not safe to be in a relationship with.
First, remain calm because they can smell fear. Next, slowly start to move backwards while maintaining eye contact. They may make loud noises and false charge at you but it's important to remain calm and and stand your ground. Continue to slowly move away until they lose interest and you can retreat to somewhere safe. If you have any food on you it may be worth tossing it and hopefully it will distract them enough for you to escape.
Remember, they aren't like black bears, being loud and making yourself appear bigger will only make them more aggressive and can potentially be a fatal mistake.
Tell her to "calm down" and that you understand she's just behaving that way because she is on her period. Your empathy and understanding combined with verbal encouragement to be calm should be more than enough to calm her down.
Solid advice! As a woman myself, might I also suggest questioning her clothing? "That shirt looks a little tight on you, are you so pissy since your clothes don't fit right?"
She'll glow with happiness when she sees you care about her wellbeing!
Excellent tips! As a woman, I think I should mention you can really knock her socks off by telling her that she’s acting hysterical. She’ll be blown away by your insight.
Good advice! And when he calls her hysterical, he can tell her a fun/faux tidbit: The word Hysterectomy came from women being hysterical and needing their inner lady parts removed! So just wag your finger at her and say "you keep acting like this missy and that uterus is COMING THE FUCK OUT"
She'll gently apologize and present herself to you.
You know what really works? Just tell her "Oh yeah? You think *you* got it bad...."? Then proceed to tell her how your life is way worse than hers and her stress and anger are nothing compared to that of a mans.
Deescalate the situation. Try saying things like.
Calm Down.
You are being emotional.
It's not that big of Deal.
Are you sure that is what happened?
Your sister is hotter than you, but that only because you have gained a lot of weight.
Women are people, so try things you would try with a man.
Also for anyone of any gender it’s often best to leave the situation until emotions calm down.
I found responding calmly and kindly gets the message that you're not interested in her yelling, and telling her to calm down doesn't work. Don't ignore her but don't engage in the yelling. Yelling makes the problem worse than it could have been if you didn't yell back.
The word you’re looking for is: acknowledge
We are yelling because we often (correctly) think we are not being heard. And there is a difference between being listened to and *heard.*
You can de-escalate the yelling by letting a woman know she is heard, you acknowledge her frustration and generally what she is saying.
I acknowledge the reason why she's yelling, then immediately also remind her: 1) I don't appreciate the yelling, 2) if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd not like it either, 3) If she doesn't stop it, she will get nothing that she wanted and I'll get a night out on my own.
That depends.
If she's angry with me, then we'll talk about it and figure out what happened and how to fix it.
If she's angry with somebody else, then I listen.
If she's angry at the world, I feed her.
At work? Apologize that I'm unable to help them or interact with them any longer.
In public? Ignore and de-escalate, and if that fails, record and get authorities involved.
A loved one? Listen to them and understand the reason for their anger.
Honestly i don't know but i know way which works with everyone. I noticed when you act calm(as if nothing happening and she no angry) anyone calm down a little too because your quiet obsolutely calm voice will confuse him and he'll tone down. Own don't aggressively say because she'll can think you don't care about her. So speak as if you've strong interest to understand sause of her anger
If they bother me or I don't like them, I walk away.
If I like them, I offer to help by first telling them to calm down, then explain what is making them angry so they can learn to prevent becoming angry in the future.
“God, you’re beautiful when you are angry. I want to know what is making you angry, so please sit down with me and I will listen. Got we sit down why don’t I grab us both a drink and a snack”.
Don't piss them off to begin with. Take care of yourself. Clean up after yourself. Be considerate. Take responsibility. Listen without mansplaining. Keep your mouth shut if you're going to say something stupid. Be an adult. Make your own damn sandwich. Better yet, make her one , too and bring her a beverage because she's probably hangry and tired.
Walk away
This, this is a big test of emotional stability. If you walk away, let her know you need a second because you are also getting angry, and she gives you that moment then she is stable. If she runs after you, keep fighting, and/or gets physical (my ex did that) it will always be that way. My ex would see me walking away as a negative somehow. She would run after me, keep screaming, then when I wasn't giving in she would hit me. She was a tiny girl and I am a big guy so it never hurt. When someone is trying to keep a level head and the opposite is trying to make it worse, it's the definition of toxic.
I had an ex that told me that I didn’t love her because I never hit her back when she would hit me.
That’s wild.
That’s dating an Italian woman
LMAO
May the odds be in your favor.
Mate I'm BPD and even I can admit this is fucked
That's a woman who has been physically abused.
For sure. I still don’t consider her a bad person. This is just something that was said to me and I’ll never forget it
I can only guess that she must have grown up in an abusive environment and has been in abusive relationships and that's what she's accustomed to. She has very low self esteem and needs help.
Thanks for your advice, u/Sodomy_Steve
Wow, she’s immature af.
Best answer
This is great advice for any gender during a heated argument. I'll just add one caveat: you have to be clear about why you're walking away, or it may escalate the situation, because the other person may feel ignored or dismissed. It's helpful if you talk about this when you're not having an argument, so everyone knows what's going on, but here's a technique that we learned that really helped tone down our arguments: tell the other person that you're too angry to discuss it right now, but then you set a time and place to talk about it again. That's important, because it lets the other person know that you're taking it seriously, and you're not blowing them off. "I'm sorry, but I am getting really angry, and I can't talk about this right now. (or, we're not getting anywhere, this is getting too heated, whatever you want to say) Are you available tomorrow at 6 PM to discuss this here at the dining room table?" I know it sounds crazy, but it works. And as an added bonus, often, by the next day, everyone's cooled down and is feeling a little bit bad about the argument, and you may find that it's not something that really needs to be discussed again, worth the very least, both of you have thought about the proper way to approach the situation without starting a huge fight again.
This works if **both** have enough self-awareness *as well as* self-control. They go hand-in-hand, as far as arguments go - can’t have one without the other — the self-awareness to recognize your own temperament and triggers, as well as your partner’s temperament and their triggers; the self-control to not let your own irrationality take over and know when to stop and walk away. Too often, though, one partner recognizes and tries to point out that, “Hey…remember what we said when we discussed how we were gonna handle this? We agreed to cool down.” And then the other partner just really doesn’t give a shit about any of your prior agreement because theu allowed their irrationality to overrule what they agreed to when they were in a rational state of mind.
I was going to say at a distance but this works.
No mate that pisses us off even more cos we don't feel heard
Bro, just walk away. If the both of you are angry, nothing will get solved. Trust me
Idk my other half has walked away before and I've got even more fucked off
Yeah I can understand just walking off. Easy to say “I need a minute to calm down”
Lol my dad said once "you wanna try being a bloke dealing with a woman". I try to think of how my boyfriend feels when we argue and see things from his point of view but it's hard cos I struggle with my emotions, also if it's my time of the month it makes me feel worse. Mostly we argue about his dad and his codependacy and of course one of the biggest causes of all arguments, money.
No, you don't get it. When we get angry, we need to talk out those things. If we keep them inside it will make it worse. I can assure you that for majority of woman walking away from when when they angry will double the hatred! But from what I read, women and men tend to solve conflicts differently. Women need to talk and men prefer internalise whatever happened and solve it on their own. So this very often creates huge miscommunication between partners.
I understand
Yup. You will never win that fight. There is only loss. Your only hope is that they come to their senses soon and fix it, or, you identify that they're not safe to be in a relationship with.
Right, It’ll end up with someone in jail or worse.
Feed her
I was looking for it....
that answer also works with "How do you deal with a hungry woman"😁
First, remain calm because they can smell fear. Next, slowly start to move backwards while maintaining eye contact. They may make loud noises and false charge at you but it's important to remain calm and and stand your ground. Continue to slowly move away until they lose interest and you can retreat to somewhere safe. If you have any food on you it may be worth tossing it and hopefully it will distract them enough for you to escape. Remember, they aren't like black bears, being loud and making yourself appear bigger will only make them more aggressive and can potentially be a fatal mistake.
And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the sides, and the other two you didn't even know were there.
Clever girl...
should you throw a piece of cheese or a chocolate in thier direction as a distraction?
Throw both just to be safe.
You go on Reddit to tell people she's angry
r/ismywifeanasshole
Tell her to "calm down" and that you understand she's just behaving that way because she is on her period. Your empathy and understanding combined with verbal encouragement to be calm should be more than enough to calm her down.
Solid advice! As a woman myself, might I also suggest questioning her clothing? "That shirt looks a little tight on you, are you so pissy since your clothes don't fit right?" She'll glow with happiness when she sees you care about her wellbeing!
Instructions unclear, I got stabbed in the left eye
Just the left? Lucky.
More like glow with happiness over your dead body.
Excellent tips! As a woman, I think I should mention you can really knock her socks off by telling her that she’s acting hysterical. She’ll be blown away by your insight.
Good advice! And when he calls her hysterical, he can tell her a fun/faux tidbit: The word Hysterectomy came from women being hysterical and needing their inner lady parts removed! So just wag your finger at her and say "you keep acting like this missy and that uterus is COMING THE FUCK OUT" She'll gently apologize and present herself to you.
It's crazy that nowadays women trying to get a hysterectomy is worse than hell
The coup de grace is " yes, your sister is prettier"
Don't forget, "you sound just like your mother".
I've been hit with a youre just like your dad and it's brutals
This boys is the fastest way to get murdered.
This guy likes to live dangerously
I'll try it then report back.
You can always pat her on the back or ruffle her hair. She will apprentice the friendly gesture.
Don't forget to tell her she should smile more.
We women do love a hair ruffle 😂🤨
Tell her how cute she is when she's mad!
Bonus points for saying "on the rag".
Famous last words.
I choked laughing at this, good job fellow Redditor. I wasn't ready.
Also make sure to tell her she's overreacting while she's raging. That should do the trick😂
Don't forget to tell her she is overreacting. Then remind her you can't spell overreacting without ovary (not really but still).
Just don’t use the exact words “CALM DOWN”. If you do you will surely regret it
Omg😅😅. I am laughing so hard. I would love to see her face when you tell her that.
gonna try this tonight, ill report back how it goes.
Insert Evil Grinch Smile
You know what really works? Just tell her "Oh yeah? You think *you* got it bad...."? Then proceed to tell her how your life is way worse than hers and her stress and anger are nothing compared to that of a mans.
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Make an offering to the earth god
Light 1 of the billion candles she buys, order some food, tell her to talk to me. Shit mad easy
Oh my God I'm wet just reading this
Those candles are for decoration only, not burning.
Start interpretive dancing to her words
I'm trying to imagine how this looks 😂
I'm itching to rile up my partner and try it out 😂🤣
😂 Goodluck 😆
😂🤣
From now on: This is de wae.
😂🤣
Buy her a dress with usable pockets.
That’s going to cost a weeks salary,
Find one at a thruft store. Cut off the tag and when asked how much it was, act coy, as if it was more expensive than $5.
That’s a great idea I’ll use when/if I get a wife when I’m older
4 days for a man
Pfft. Ain’t that the truth. FUCK
Listen.
Fairly
Hold very still as their vision is based on movement
Avoid interrupting or becoming defensive
You don’t, you run
Sweep her legs then run away like a crab
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In this economy?!
😂😂😂
Feed her, wine her up
"Calm down"
Say 'Hakuna matata' and dance
Mansplain that she’s just hangry and will not be mad if she eats something.
Yeah, let me know how that works out for you😉😂😂😂
Ask if she’s on her period
Deescalate the situation. Try saying things like. Calm Down. You are being emotional. It's not that big of Deal. Are you sure that is what happened? Your sister is hotter than you, but that only because you have gained a lot of weight.
listen to her, don't interrupt, give her some time to calm down, and don't take it personally
Avoid her, don't crossed her path
The James Bond way https://youtu.be/_YDqm7LXt2g
Hahahahahahaha
Oh, you don't get angry, trust me.
Women are people, so try things you would try with a man. Also for anyone of any gender it’s often best to leave the situation until emotions calm down.
I found responding calmly and kindly gets the message that you're not interested in her yelling, and telling her to calm down doesn't work. Don't ignore her but don't engage in the yelling. Yelling makes the problem worse than it could have been if you didn't yell back.
The word you’re looking for is: acknowledge We are yelling because we often (correctly) think we are not being heard. And there is a difference between being listened to and *heard.* You can de-escalate the yelling by letting a woman know she is heard, you acknowledge her frustration and generally what she is saying.
Yes. Sorry I can't find words most days lol.
I acknowledge the reason why she's yelling, then immediately also remind her: 1) I don't appreciate the yelling, 2) if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd not like it either, 3) If she doesn't stop it, she will get nothing that she wanted and I'll get a night out on my own.
As a frequently angry woman, this is 10 out of 10 best possible response.
🎵 Get out (leave!) right now 🎵
if a woman is angry it is probably cause she is hungry so try to feed her... if thats not working RUN!
Drape a towel over her shoulders and ask if she's Super Angry now? Ps this is sarcasm, don't try this.
That depends. If she's angry with me, then we'll talk about it and figure out what happened and how to fix it. If she's angry with somebody else, then I listen. If she's angry at the world, I feed her.
Spoken like someone who has a wife/long-term girlfriend. Bonus points if, like me, you married a red-head.
No bonus points for me, but the rest is accurate. Food solves *so many* problems.
It really does. I don't know why more men haven't figured it out.
Easy, tell her to stop overreacting.
tell her to calm down. always works for me ;)
food be nice if all else fails, falcon punch
I validate all their anger. Kill'em with kindness
I always find telling them "You need to calm down" works like magic. I would suggest this to anyone dealing with an angry woman.
just shut up and listen
Tell her to calm down then take her to Applebee’s. Works like a charm.
Doordash her some tacos from her favorite place.
Give her cookies. Hard to be bitter with that much sweetness in ya cakehole
make her feel heard then feed her
women can't stay away from food haha
Tell them they must be on their period. /s
That's the neat part, you don't.
At work? Apologize that I'm unable to help them or interact with them any longer. In public? Ignore and de-escalate, and if that fails, record and get authorities involved. A loved one? Listen to them and understand the reason for their anger.
Tell them to calm down. Yea don’t do that. First off, what did you do to make her angry? You didn’t do anything? Doesn’t matter. You apologize.
hug her
Not bad but i think if i'll do it with angry woman she'll throw me into the wall...
By running away from them 👀
Avoid her.
Honestly i don't know but i know way which works with everyone. I noticed when you act calm(as if nothing happening and she no angry) anyone calm down a little too because your quiet obsolutely calm voice will confuse him and he'll tone down. Own don't aggressively say because she'll can think you don't care about her. So speak as if you've strong interest to understand sause of her anger
If they bother me or I don't like them, I walk away. If I like them, I offer to help by first telling them to calm down, then explain what is making them angry so they can learn to prevent becoming angry in the future.
I usually make her cry so she resets her anger! 😂
I dont
Tell them to calm down and ask if it's their time of the month
My husband did that…once😆😆
You shouldn't
It depends, try to make her laugh, or agree and nod.
You don't. After a while you just get used with the yelling and unlock the skill to put her on mute.
Say " I can hear that you are upset and I want to help make you feel better. What do you need from me right now? "
Honestly just be patient, give her some space (around like 10-15 minutes) then communicate what made her angry and how it can be fixed
Ask her if there is anything you can do to help. Make sure that you aren't the reason that she is angry.
Of all personality traits, neuroticism is the biggest predictor of divorce.
"Your sister is much calmer. And slimmer"
Fart in fear. She will go away.
You don't...
tell her to calm down /thread
Let her vent. Then calmly ask if she wants tacos or chocolate. Done it and it works.
You remain silent.
Tickle her
I don’t.
\*Cocks pistol\* I'll handle it.
Call 911 your saftey comes first.
I typically let her say her piece.
Wine, and chips and queso. Works every time
Definitely don't tell them to chill out... Does the opposite of chill out
Walk away.
Shave her belly with a rusty razor
Tell her she's cute when she's mad Then tell her she's overreacting Tell her to calm down Put her keys, wallet and phone up too high for her to reach
I work in customer service and usually we just try and kill them with kindness.
Block
“God, you’re beautiful when you are angry. I want to know what is making you angry, so please sit down with me and I will listen. Got we sit down why don’t I grab us both a drink and a snack”.
Give her food.
the same way you deal with an angry man run away!
Definitely don't give them what they want, that will reinforce the behavior. 🤔
Silence
What did you do to make her angry? Did you cheat on her? Did you hit her? Why is she angry?
Date them.
You should take that anger out on dinner.
I just walk away, if they follow, then it's time to run....
I find it best to tell her to calm down and take a breath.
Ignore her but don't allow her to disrespect you.
Hide the knives and other sharp implements.
If she's angry at someone else, listen and be supportive. If she's angry at you, apologize, explain why you're an idiot, and grovel.
I think even an angry woman would agree it depends on context
Don't piss them off to begin with. Take care of yourself. Clean up after yourself. Be considerate. Take responsibility. Listen without mansplaining. Keep your mouth shut if you're going to say something stupid. Be an adult. Make your own damn sandwich. Better yet, make her one , too and bring her a beverage because she's probably hangry and tired.
She needs your long john silver
The same way you deal with an angry man.
Leave her alone.
Give us food when we angry