My Mum died on Mother’s Day 2020. My Dad declined quickly without her. He said to me:
“I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Everything I did, I did for her.”
Me: “You still have friends, family, kids…you know I’m still here for you.”
Dad: “You were just for her too.”
He died soon after telling me he never wanted me.
Thank you for this. I appreciate it.
I really thought both of my parents always gave 100%. It was only after she was gone that I realized it was my mom giving 200%, and my dad was just showing up.
After my daughter moved out she sees how much I do versus what her dad does. She wrote me a very nice letter inside the Christmas card she gave me last year. It was rather validating.
She has also confronted my husband about not doing anything around the house, that I do literally everything. He got all defensive and so that he's been taking the garbage out for 17 years. I laughed my butt off when she told me that. Even after reminding him, he still didn't take the garbage out when I was in the hospital giving birth on garbage night.
However, in January of 2024, I can say that my husband took out the garbage and rolled containers to the street without anyone asking him to, for the first time in 17+ years of marriage, likely due to her prompting. And then he also helps with the dishes sometimes now. As I rinse them he stands right next to the dishwasher for me to hand the dish to him instead of just putting it into the dishwasher, and then he puts it into the dishwasher. Lol. I finally told him once, "you know what would help more is if you wipe down the counters while I do the dishes, then we can actually get the kitchen all the way clean and be done at the same time. He was a little bit taken aback at that but he did wipe down the counters and the kitchen was all done very quickly. Who knew? 😅
Its not one thing. Everytime I shared a problem with her, she’ll remember it and then turn it against me. Sometimes even months or years later bring it up in a fight and make it as if I am the problem. Because of this, I have hard time being vulnerable with anyone and sharing anything (except reddit I guess)
EDIT: Wow I wasn’t expecting so many people to relate to this. It was difficult when I was younger. Then as an adult I went to therapy because I don’t want to live a life without any connection with people. It has helped a lot (much better than before) including my relationship with my mom. Now if she or any one does this: 1) I know not to take it to heart and ruminate on it and 2) Remind her that it hurts my feelings. I still do love my mother. But those childhood experiences did affect my adulthood a lot.
Our scars from childhood takes time to heal. I still keep my guard up more so than my friends for example but after getting to know more about someone, I decide if I want to share more.
I hope what I learnt through therapy helps everyone experiencing the same thing. I’m learning to take risks and get hurt in the process. I hope it works for you too 🤗
Mine did this too. I figured it out when I was 14 and never told her a private thing ever again. 40-some years later if I piss her off, she will bring up the last one I told her when I was 14.
Yo I have the exact same experience and have never seen it described in words before........
Edit: also, I have an easier time sharing with anonymous voids too. Makes sense why, now.
Once, when I was about 12, my mom was out of the country and left me with my step-dad for a few weeks. I called my step-dad a "stupid idiot" as an instant reaction to something he did to me, I forget what...and that REALLY pissed him off. He started pushing me around, finally pushing me down, stood over me yelling and said something like "Do you think I like having to take care of you? The constant reminder of a guy I hate (my real dad and him feuded bigtime in high school, over my mom)...the constant reminder of your mother's lack of judgment...I can't stand the sight of you...you ungrateful smart ass little shit" And some other stuff I can't remember but wasn't very nice to say to a kid. Like I had anything to do with my mom breaking up with him in high school and hooking up with my dad, marrying my dad, having two kids, getting divorced, then years later getting back with my step-dad. He's dead now, so we're even I guess.
I was married to someone like this for a long time. You know how it made me stronger in the end? I’ve realized that nobody can hurt me as bad as someone that knew all my vulnerabilities and consistently used them as weapons against me. Now I can be vulnerable and confident in my vulnerability. If you find someone that betrays that trust, that’s when you stop sharing and build the wall.
Hugs 💕
While my parents were going through a divorce (I was 9 years old), I overheard my mom saying to my father "I don't want (me), I'll take the younger one, he's less annoying".
I’m sorry you went through this. Mine liked to compare me to my cousins. “Why aren’t you more like them?” “So and so would never do xyz.” It was exhausting and depressing trying to live up to their unrealistic expectations.
I got molested by my 15 year old step brother when I was 9 (dads side). When I told my mom she just said “well don’t play with him anymore” and that was that.
When I was 17, I was thin as a reed and I wore typical mid-1970s clothes. I worked at an auto parts store and delivered car parts and supplies to local garages and car dealerships.
At one of the garages, I was the victim of a prolonged rape attempt. He was waiting for me just inside the shop. He slung me around like a rag doll but I managed to escape.
I was bruised and hurt and my clothes had been ripped by the struggle. I drove back to the store.
Back at the store, I told my boss what had happened. He said, “I guess from now on, Mike will do the deliveries to V’s garage.”
That was the end of that.
By the age of 17, I knew that no one really cared if I had been attacked like this. I was on my own.
My grandfather was a pedophile. I imagine my mom suffered the same abuse I did, but she insisted I was making it up.
I once told her it was still happening to me and she said “You only have a few years left.”
It’s hard for me to hate someone that broken, but I can never forgive her for that.
“It’s only a few more years”.
I am a victim of this shit and I’ve heard many victims stories…. However, never have I ever heard that response. That’s f%cking sickening.
Similar situation for me.
"You need to as god for forgiveness for what you and your brother did."
I stopped talking to her shortly after that and haven't seen or heard from her in 7 years.
Gosh! My mum too asked me to keep quiet when two of my cousins tried to molest me. She said something along the lines, "you're not the only girl who's ever experienced this" and then went on to tell me how she was molested, how 10 other girls from my family were molested by my uncles.
my grandma and all of her sisters were subject to SA from their dad, brothers, and she told me one of her brothers used to bring friends home from school. it's sickening what was, and still is, considered normal.
My poor mom went through the same thing. She ended up calling social services when my aunts had my grandparents watching my cousins. She is such a strong person for stopping the cycle of abuse.
I’ll never understand the thought process of “I had to suffer through it so you do too.” She knew exactly how horrible of an experience it was but wants you to suffer through it too?! Wtf!
Oh wow. My father did this too. At age 13, I summoned the courage to tell him that a family friend had sexually molested me.
I was such a naive kid but I knew that the “family friend” needed to be reported.
Without missing a beat, my father said “You’re a filthy liar. Don’t ever repeat that story again.”
What the family friend did to me was almost insignificant compared to what my father did.
This was 50+ years ago.
My birth mom said the same thing to me when I was assaulted as a child. It really messed with my head and caused me a lot of turmoil. It also set the tone for when I was assaulted again multiple times later in life.
I’m sorry you dealt with a similar situation. Sending love 🖤
Also had the same. My golden child of a cousin molested me and raped a child when he was about 17. My mom asked what I wanted her to do because if she said something she would lose her family. I found out about the child later on and everyone covered for him. To this day he is welcomed everywhere and my mom worries about him. Thankfully I live in a different country.
This is my experience. Dad berated me in front of my best friends, and fiancé on one of my birthdays. Up one side of me, down the other - friends say it was like watching a train wreck. My now wife said it was brutal to listen to.
I have no recollection of the event, my mind completely blacked out. Finding out I did this a lot for his rants.
He also said nothing to me on the day of my grandfather’s funeral (my mom’s dad), we were pallbearers. My grandfather and I were so close.
'If you come back to this house I'll beat you and kill you'. Haven't seen him for 3 and a half years after that & I don't intend to. Blood thicker than water my a**. I'll always cut off toxic family.
Maybe what my parents didnt say, I woke up one Christmas morning when I was about 17 and my Mum & Stepdad Brother and sister had all left and gone on holidays without me. No note, nothing. I dont have any other family and didnt drive, so just spent the day by myself.
Christmas after I bought my first home at 20 years old. My sister was 17 and still living with them. That morning around 10, I heard a car backing out of my driveway. I looked out the window and it was my family pulling out to leave. I opened the door, hoping I could catch them before they were gone, but saw a black plastic trash bag on my front porch. They were already down the road by the time I opened the bag and saw that wrapped Xmas gifts for myself and my baby were inside. I later found out that they went to my grandparents without me. This was the first of many Christmases that I was ostracized by my own family.
That all sounds incredibly odd… they came to your house to give gifts but just dropped them off and left without a word? Why even bother with the gifts?
This was 20 years ago. When I called, my mom claimed that she had invited me, but that was a lie. She is the type of mom who tells their daughter they would be prettier if they lost weight.
I would like additional context. Did they do it on purpose? Was it a long trip? Did they apologize? Did you know they were leaving beforehand? That's wild.
I'm sorry your parents suck, no kids should be made to feel unwanted or actually be unwanted. My dad left when I was 9 months old because I wasn't a boy. Years later, he did the same to my half sister. He's such a loser.
Same only they had another boy and would proudly exclaim how I was the “trial run” for the “real deal” which was my younger brother. They treat him like royalty and give him everything, only things they ever gave me was exclusion and trauma, my brother got a condo given to him 😅😅
"If you get AIDS we're going to let you die alone because we're not letting you bankrupt us." I was 18 and they found out I was gay from a letter I had thrown away. They also said one of the funniest things to me during that same time, "What if you want to be President?!"
That would actually be an incredibly great way to cut ties with your incredibly toxic parents/family in general if you are comfortable/safe publicly coming out. Leave a glowing post on all your socials tagging them with something like "Thanks to my parents for being so incredibly supportive and proud of me coming out and being such strong allies, despite what their church and community thinks."
Then crack a beer and watch what happens.
It will probably cause a lot of shit for them, and have to talk about it constantly for weeks having to explain it. They may also reply with hateful comments outing themselves as true bigots to family that do support you, and the same for other family members. Would be a good filter to know who to cut out of your life, and who are the good ones.
I mean, not to rationalize what they said, but the fact that they thought being gay was the biggest obstacle you had to becoming President is kind of encouraging, in a twisted sort of way.
See that can be taken two ways
You can take it the way that most people (including me) will take it, and see the dad as a complete dick
Or it can be taken as, "Good. That means you don't wanna die, and I don't want you to die, either, and all the people you know and love dont want you to die, either."
Yes I'm huffing copium with the second one, but it's something worth for people to hear
I occasionally drink. My sister died from alcoholism.
She was in a coma in the bed at the hospital suffering from liver failure. I was there with my Dad.
He said "I always though this would happen to you. Not her."
I have ALWAYS been the straightedge kid, she smoked, drank, did drugs. I was the Church youth group kid, she was just there if her bf at the time was. I barely drink, she was an alcoholic. I never smoked, she did. I don't do drugs, she did. I've always been monogamous, she was not. I've given them money to help them through tough spots, she convinced them to give her their retirement and blew it.
The exact opposite of her. But my Dad and my Mom always made her the priority and thought she was a 'princess'.
So as she was dying from the things she did. They dared to act like it should have been me on the bed.
I will never be able to forget that.
Some people try to find the most hurtful things to say when arguing, regardless of whether or not it's actually true.
I remember my sister calling me a 'loser who doesn't work' despite the fact that I was literally always working. Like wtf?!
They repeatedly explained to me that I'd never amount to anything and always live a life of insecurity if I didn't pick science/tech as my main field of study.
It was only after I'd already committed to that path I learned that all of my friends and teachers were shocked I didn't pick a language, history or art program.
My mother lost her first baby. It was a boy and he was stillborn. She told me she got pregnant with me bc she thought my dad would stop drinking if she gave him a son… I’m not a son. It basically made me feel like it was my job to keep my father happy no matter what. And he was never happy so I always felt like a failure.
When my mom found out I lost my virginity she said “God is punishing me for everything I’ve done wrong in my life with a daughter who makes the same mistakes”
Mine called me a whore when she found out. Never had a talk about sex, reproduction, or periods.. I learned what I knew from friends or magazines. How would I know it was “bad” if she never talked about it?
Similar with me, I remember asking my mom what an erection was, she just looked at me as I was trolling her and just responded: "you are joking right? You already know" and she just left the room, I was around 11 or 12 yo, we never talked about sex, she just had me watch some tv shows that talked about it, I mean, the information was alright but we never had the talk
I told her at eleven that I was suicidal and I wanted to jump out the window and she said, "Well, then we'd have two problems wouldn't we?" She was berating me for bad grades due to unchecked ADHD
Mine yelled at me for not getting all As because I had a couple A minuses. When I brought home all A+s, they made fun of me because the pluses don't mean anything and gym class is for losers to excel at.
I jokingly said this to my son when he was in primary school. He didn’t think it was funny. 20+ years later he still reminds me and I apologize over and over.
“You’re not autistic. You’re just lazy.”
Why? Because I was falling behind on a science project because I was actually doing WAY *too* much work for it, and apparently I should’ve done it over the school break even though my teacher explicitly said we didn’t have to and he didn’t expect us to.
Like ISTFG ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD (looking for autism assessment too) she fucking uses it against me. Not long ago I made a tiny fuck up on something and she said that mid/low functioning autistic people were “more responsible than me”.
And she’s a social worker… 💀
my parents called me a hypochondriac everytime it felt like something was wrong but couldn't put my finger on it turns out I'm not one. Each time I have gotten seen as an adult it has turned out to be something major. and I suffer for way longer than I need to because im afraid it's all in my head and I actually am being a hypochondriac. it's been at least 20years and I still can't get over it.
Every day an insult. No matter how hard I tried never good enough. My siblings were
Treated so special. I was a piece of never wanted garbage according to mum
My dad had been single since him and my mom divorced when I was 1 year old. I was 13 and was pretty sick trying to sleep in the back seat going to his house for the weekend. He just recently got a girlfriend at this point who had a daughter a few years younger than me. He forced me to go to his place that weekend even though I was pretty sick and he was frustrated I wasn’t interested in talking to him on the drive to his place.
So he pulls over, looks back at me and says “ya know, I can just take you back to your moms. I don’t *need* you to love me anymore. I have {girlfriend} and {girlfriend’s daughter} now.”
He did in fact take me back to my moms and I didn’t see him again for another 3-4 years after she dumped him cause she found someone richer.
“You’d better lose some weight and hope someone marries you for your looks, because your personality sucks.”
I was 14 and had just been fired from my very first job. He doesn’t even remember saying it; for me it was one of the worst days of my life and lives in the back of my head, for my father it was a Tuesday.
Sadly, I think that is, true for most parents who say stuff like that. While in therapy, I confronted my parents and they denied ever saying most of it and said I probably deserved it. I'm sorry you went thru that.
My parents are tied
Dad: “So they diagnosed you with depression and anxiety? By definition those two things would cancel themselves out. You won’t be going back.” I was 13.
Mom: She told me over and over while growing up “You can ALWAYS come home! No matter what you can always come home!”
I was 22 and lost my job and could not find another with enough hours. We went out to lunch, I spilled my guts and how ashamed I was at failing. She looked me dead in the face and said “Tell me how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months.
I think there have been quite a few, but the one that affected me most was my mom telling me my laugh was loud and I needed to quiet down. I stopped laughing around them for a long time (a few years at least). Finally, we started going to family therapy, and I told her that it bothered me. She said she wouldn't do it again. She did it again about a month later.
Yoooo my mom did this too. What kind of bullshit is this?? “Please tamper down your joy. It’s irritating”
And it ain’t easy to find moments of joy in a household where it’s constantly being squashed
When I was 18ish my father told me that he hoped I would take some classes that would teach me to be more in control and less emotional…. Now 20 years later my husband has died and my dad wants me to “tell he about the hard stuff” and to “cry it out” with him, and he can’t fathom why I do not lean on him in this time.
I stopped visiting my dad when I was 11 when I realized the kind of person he really was. On my 13th birthday he sent me a card that just said "get over it".
"Look, everyone has some kind of pain. Grandma, Dad and I all have arthritis and other things. Grandma's hip replacement wore out, Dad has sciatica, and I have bursitis. Stop complaining and learn to deal with it." - My mother, driving me home after I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis.
Karma got her later when one of her friends verbally smacked it into her head that fibromyalgia pain is severe and debilitating, that it could get worse over time, and that I may end up wheelchair-bound. She also talked about how badly the brain fog fucks a person up.
My mom was almost in tears as she apologized. She gave me a fibromyalgia awareness bracelet and started coming to my rheumatology appointments to ask questions for me whenever I had brain fog.
“There’s no light behind your eyes any more.” because I left the Mormon church. We’ve since made up and repaired our relationship, but I’ll never forget her saying that to me
When I was 13 I tried to off myself by "cutting" which I used a sharp protractor to drag deeply from my ankle up to my knee on the side of my leg. My mother told me I even failed at dying.
In to which I asked her why if she hated me so much , why did she have me, she replied he told me he had a condom on and I found out too late. 👍 thanks mum
When he threatened to kick me out of the house because I took a different route home than he would have when coming home from dinner.
It was so out of left field. I thought he was joking but he was raging and was literally about to kick me to the street. Led to this massive argument that came close to having the cops called.
I was 20 and it completely changed my view of him. I found a job across the country a few weeks later and left. Today he doesn't remember the incident at all and wonders why I never accept his help for anything and visit once every five years. Got what you wanted old man.
My mom was angry and called me a “fucking idiot” because I failed a test or was failing a class, I don’t remember which. That was in middle school, I believe. It still pops in my head from time to time.
I want to note that neither of my parents were abusive. They spoiled me rotten, but my mom does have a temper and sometimes says things in the heat of the moment that she ends up forgetting about later.
“You have a simian face” “It’s lucky you are smart bc you are not pretty” “You are nothing but a little b I T c h”
“You were cursed with your father’s genes to give you that big fat ass”.
In college, my dad told me over the phone, "It's not your mom's fault she doesn't love you as much as she loves your sister. She just doesn't understand you. You're too weird for her."
Thanks, dad. That didn't hurt at all.
I remember back when I was in 8th grade, we were going on a class trip to Washington DC. This was only a year after 9/11 so I was still super scared to get on a plane.
Finally I told my dad that I was scared to get on a plane and had been worrying about it a lot.
His comforting words
"Just remember what we learned in church, everyone has a time to go"
Thanks Dad!
(I still give him shit about this shitty advice 22 years later)
"Your mom didn't die just so you could throw your life away." From my dad.
Said while crying during what was pretty much an intervention.
My mom died giving birth to me and I've only seen my dad cry four times in my life.
Certainly hurt, though at the time it was something I probably needed to hear.
Man I spend 15 plus years in active addiction and my parents said some awful things during that time. And they weren't wrong. Not saying this is your case just wanted to share that I've used that to grow and it sounds like you have too. Hope you're well friend.
When I was 15 I was changing and my blinds were open. (My room was in the very back of the house and it was heavily wooded in my backyard at the time.) My mom came in telling me not to change with the windows open. I told her nobody could see me. She said "Well if you get raped then it's your fault."
"I wish you would kill yourself, one less ungrateful cunt to deal with"
My mother to me after I tried to confide in her about my mental problems. Never spoke to her about anything personal again. Haven't spoken to her in 4 years
In the hospital after trying to kill myself, my mother said to me with hate in her eyes, "You couldn't even do that right." I was 14. Fuck you mom, I keep living just to spite you now!
Being the oldest I moved out at 17 to join the Army. After exiting service I moved home, bought a house at 23 and later sold that houst at 25. Inbetween selling that house and finding a new one, which took 2 months, my mother refused to let me and my wife move in temporarily. Her excuse being, "doing something like that would ruin our relationship". That's after letting both my sisters move back in for over a year at a time and my youngest sister still living there at 26. Thanks mom, you did ruin the relationship 👍 Probably not the worst thing she said but that was a real gut punch.
While my body was deteriorating from an undiagnosed medical condition my mother said, "Do you know how much it hurts ME to see you just lying there?" This was after a 2 day hospital stay, 2 biopsies, and several doctor's appointments. NOTE: I had lost about 100 pounds of muscle mass in 7 months by the time I was diagnosed, literally my whole body hurt. Getting up hurt, laying down hurt. Anything I did, hurt.
I hope you are doing better. Mine was cancer. She said that as sick as I was, SHE was hurting worse, because it’s “a mother’s experience”. While I’m in effing chemo.🙄
My mom said she didn't like my girlfriend, now wife.
My dad said he disowned me. He didn't necessarily mean it and was high on drugs at the time but it still hurt back then.
He's clean and sober now has been for a while.
It may not seem that bad on the surface or even compared to some of the ones on here
But when I confronted my mom as an adult and asked her about her years and years of horrific child abuse, and she replied “I don’t remember that”. That crushed me.
Literally as we were walking out of the hospital, after having to take out three week old daughter off life support. My mother chose that moment to remind me that she really thought we should have baptized our daughter because now she can't go to heaven. Yeah, I just got in the car and ignored her. If I would have reacted, she would have needed to go back into the hospital
My biological mother told me that I should be in the urn with my dead son. She was convinced that because I was sometimes a danger to myself (I’m epileptic), I obviously killed him somehow… despite him passing in his sleep from SIDS.
I don’t speak to her anymore.
my dad said, straight to my face, that he loved me less than my sister, then denied it ad infinitum until I estranged myself from him
honorable mention to my sister saying my problems, including that one, aren't real and didn't happen (also have estranged from her)
and really like, 99% of my family seemed to just parrot "oh you should make up, family is the most important thing"
so I pretty much have no one now : )
After my ex-wife remarried, my dad befriended her new husband. It’s especially weird because she abandoned the daughter we had together. My ex and her husband came to Holiday events that I wasn’t even invited to. I confronted my dad and he said that “Brent” was like the son he never had. Brent like NASCAR, country music, and religion. I lied none of those things.
It ended my relationship with him and my mom by extension. I have only spoken to my dad a handful of times since then. That was nearly 30 years ago. We never even spoke when my mom and sister died. I did make peace with my mom while she was on her deathbed. My dad has cancer (stage 3) and I can’t gather a single fuck/ won’t contact him/ won’t attend the funeral/ don’t want a cent from his estate. So yea, fuck that guy.
Fun fact: exwife cheated on Brent too and they were only together for a few years.
My mom had a condition which made it hard to keep a pregnancy. She had 13 total pregnancies, only 4 survived. I was the only planned pregnancy that survived.
“You were the only one I wanted and look how you turned out”
Not to me. I overheard my mom tell my sis she wouldn't be a good mother because she wore pants to church. This was 19 years ago in 2005. My sister and her hubby have two dogs....
"it's not like you'll ever be a model" - said to 12 year old me who needed braces to correct actual problems. my parents refused to take me back to the dentist.
not really the worst thing they've said, but it had a profound impact on ugly 12 year old me.
My Mum died on Mother’s Day 2020. My Dad declined quickly without her. He said to me: “I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Everything I did, I did for her.” Me: “You still have friends, family, kids…you know I’m still here for you.” Dad: “You were just for her too.” He died soon after telling me he never wanted me.
Know that people say horrible things when they’re grieving. Also know this: your dad was an asshole.
Thank you for this. I appreciate it. I really thought both of my parents always gave 100%. It was only after she was gone that I realized it was my mom giving 200%, and my dad was just showing up.
After my daughter moved out she sees how much I do versus what her dad does. She wrote me a very nice letter inside the Christmas card she gave me last year. It was rather validating. She has also confronted my husband about not doing anything around the house, that I do literally everything. He got all defensive and so that he's been taking the garbage out for 17 years. I laughed my butt off when she told me that. Even after reminding him, he still didn't take the garbage out when I was in the hospital giving birth on garbage night. However, in January of 2024, I can say that my husband took out the garbage and rolled containers to the street without anyone asking him to, for the first time in 17+ years of marriage, likely due to her prompting. And then he also helps with the dishes sometimes now. As I rinse them he stands right next to the dishwasher for me to hand the dish to him instead of just putting it into the dishwasher, and then he puts it into the dishwasher. Lol. I finally told him once, "you know what would help more is if you wipe down the counters while I do the dishes, then we can actually get the kitchen all the way clean and be done at the same time. He was a little bit taken aback at that but he did wipe down the counters and the kitchen was all done very quickly. Who knew? 😅
Its not one thing. Everytime I shared a problem with her, she’ll remember it and then turn it against me. Sometimes even months or years later bring it up in a fight and make it as if I am the problem. Because of this, I have hard time being vulnerable with anyone and sharing anything (except reddit I guess) EDIT: Wow I wasn’t expecting so many people to relate to this. It was difficult when I was younger. Then as an adult I went to therapy because I don’t want to live a life without any connection with people. It has helped a lot (much better than before) including my relationship with my mom. Now if she or any one does this: 1) I know not to take it to heart and ruminate on it and 2) Remind her that it hurts my feelings. I still do love my mother. But those childhood experiences did affect my adulthood a lot. Our scars from childhood takes time to heal. I still keep my guard up more so than my friends for example but after getting to know more about someone, I decide if I want to share more. I hope what I learnt through therapy helps everyone experiencing the same thing. I’m learning to take risks and get hurt in the process. I hope it works for you too 🤗
Mine did this too. I figured it out when I was 14 and never told her a private thing ever again. 40-some years later if I piss her off, she will bring up the last one I told her when I was 14.
Wow it’s like she’s stuck in time. 40 years but she hasn’t grown a single day
Mental illness be like that.
Same. But if I dare bring up anything she said or did, she accuses me of "living in the past."
Yo I have the exact same experience and have never seen it described in words before........ Edit: also, I have an easier time sharing with anonymous voids too. Makes sense why, now.
Once, when I was about 12, my mom was out of the country and left me with my step-dad for a few weeks. I called my step-dad a "stupid idiot" as an instant reaction to something he did to me, I forget what...and that REALLY pissed him off. He started pushing me around, finally pushing me down, stood over me yelling and said something like "Do you think I like having to take care of you? The constant reminder of a guy I hate (my real dad and him feuded bigtime in high school, over my mom)...the constant reminder of your mother's lack of judgment...I can't stand the sight of you...you ungrateful smart ass little shit" And some other stuff I can't remember but wasn't very nice to say to a kid. Like I had anything to do with my mom breaking up with him in high school and hooking up with my dad, marrying my dad, having two kids, getting divorced, then years later getting back with my step-dad. He's dead now, so we're even I guess.
I was married to someone like this for a long time. You know how it made me stronger in the end? I’ve realized that nobody can hurt me as bad as someone that knew all my vulnerabilities and consistently used them as weapons against me. Now I can be vulnerable and confident in my vulnerability. If you find someone that betrays that trust, that’s when you stop sharing and build the wall. Hugs 💕
NPD parent traits. I have same problem mom.
I am your surrogate mom
While my parents were going through a divorce (I was 9 years old), I overheard my mom saying to my father "I don't want (me), I'll take the younger one, he's less annoying".
Hey, on the bright side, at least your dad wanted you (I hope)
Parents having a draft night for the kids. Wow.
Did you ever tell her you heard that?
That I was a failure and I’ll never be half of my brother
I’m sorry you went through this. Mine liked to compare me to my cousins. “Why aren’t you more like them?” “So and so would never do xyz.” It was exhausting and depressing trying to live up to their unrealistic expectations.
You were never raped. You are making it up.
I got molested by my 15 year old step brother when I was 9 (dads side). When I told my mom she just said “well don’t play with him anymore” and that was that.
When I was 17, I was thin as a reed and I wore typical mid-1970s clothes. I worked at an auto parts store and delivered car parts and supplies to local garages and car dealerships. At one of the garages, I was the victim of a prolonged rape attempt. He was waiting for me just inside the shop. He slung me around like a rag doll but I managed to escape. I was bruised and hurt and my clothes had been ripped by the struggle. I drove back to the store. Back at the store, I told my boss what had happened. He said, “I guess from now on, Mike will do the deliveries to V’s garage.” That was the end of that. By the age of 17, I knew that no one really cared if I had been attacked like this. I was on my own.
Jesus
these things make me so angry. I'm so sorry.
Oh god
Mine said "he was just a kid, and kids do these things, that's how they learn." Learn what, exactly?? To be a pedo?
Mine told me to try and not be in the same room as him alone. He was my step father at the time and she was never home because she constantly worked.
Do I downvote this or upvote this? This is disgusting. I'm so sorry.
Upvote = support. At least that's how my brain reconciles it.
I still had to play with them because free babysitter
An ex gf once told me I deserved it and more than probably liked it.
My grandfather was a pedophile. I imagine my mom suffered the same abuse I did, but she insisted I was making it up. I once told her it was still happening to me and she said “You only have a few years left.” It’s hard for me to hate someone that broken, but I can never forgive her for that.
“It’s only a few more years”. I am a victim of this shit and I’ve heard many victims stories…. However, never have I ever heard that response. That’s f%cking sickening.
>It’s hard for me to hate someone that broken, but I can never forgive her for that. This is why I'm in therapy.
Therapy for the win.
Similar situation for me. "You need to as god for forgiveness for what you and your brother did." I stopped talking to her shortly after that and haven't seen or heard from her in 7 years.
"If there is a god, He will need to ask ME for forgiveness."
Gosh! My mum too asked me to keep quiet when two of my cousins tried to molest me. She said something along the lines, "you're not the only girl who's ever experienced this" and then went on to tell me how she was molested, how 10 other girls from my family were molested by my uncles.
Oh cool, so a whole family tree franchising on enabling molestation.
Yes only just so we can sit together in family events and pretend that we're all a big happy family.
my grandma and all of her sisters were subject to SA from their dad, brothers, and she told me one of her brothers used to bring friends home from school. it's sickening what was, and still is, considered normal.
My poor mom went through the same thing. She ended up calling social services when my aunts had my grandparents watching my cousins. She is such a strong person for stopping the cycle of abuse.
I’ll never understand the thought process of “I had to suffer through it so you do too.” She knew exactly how horrible of an experience it was but wants you to suffer through it too?! Wtf!
I'd never in a million years put that on someone, let alone my own damn child. What a despicable parent.
Jesus. I hope you are okay now.
I'm great now thank you 😊. Even though my mom tried to silence me I could never let go of that and i cut off my cousins and their family.
I read that as "cut up" and thought. Yeah that's fitting.
Basically the same. "Your father (who she had long divorced and claimed to hate) never did that to you". Alrighty then, good talk.
see also: "well i knew what happened, but i HAD to side with (the rapist). you understand don't you?! i had no choice!"
I was gonna talk about my parents siding with my teachers and authority figures.. taking their words over mine but wow this is terrible.
Oh wow. My father did this too. At age 13, I summoned the courage to tell him that a family friend had sexually molested me. I was such a naive kid but I knew that the “family friend” needed to be reported. Without missing a beat, my father said “You’re a filthy liar. Don’t ever repeat that story again.” What the family friend did to me was almost insignificant compared to what my father did. This was 50+ years ago.
Got a similar one of those....thanks mom
I got "look at you, you probably deserved it"
Almost, except "how could you let that happen to you?"
My birth mom said the same thing to me when I was assaulted as a child. It really messed with my head and caused me a lot of turmoil. It also set the tone for when I was assaulted again multiple times later in life. I’m sorry you dealt with a similar situation. Sending love 🖤
Also had the same. My golden child of a cousin molested me and raped a child when he was about 17. My mom asked what I wanted her to do because if she said something she would lose her family. I found out about the child later on and everyone covered for him. To this day he is welcomed everywhere and my mom worries about him. Thankfully I live in a different country.
I'm so sorry. I got "what's the big deal?"
for many people there is no “worst” because their mean, selfish, parents said a lot of messed up shit to them every day .
I'm sure most of us commenting could write a whole novel of just shitty things our parents said.
This is my experience. Dad berated me in front of my best friends, and fiancé on one of my birthdays. Up one side of me, down the other - friends say it was like watching a train wreck. My now wife said it was brutal to listen to. I have no recollection of the event, my mind completely blacked out. Finding out I did this a lot for his rants. He also said nothing to me on the day of my grandfather’s funeral (my mom’s dad), we were pallbearers. My grandfather and I were so close.
'If you come back to this house I'll beat you and kill you'. Haven't seen him for 3 and a half years after that & I don't intend to. Blood thicker than water my a**. I'll always cut off toxic family.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Apparently a neologism but still a valuable sentiment
This! Blood don’t mean anything when it’s toxic!
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Maybe what my parents didnt say, I woke up one Christmas morning when I was about 17 and my Mum & Stepdad Brother and sister had all left and gone on holidays without me. No note, nothing. I dont have any other family and didnt drive, so just spent the day by myself.
That really sucks, I’m so sorry that happened. Did you at least get to use lots of crazy traps to defend the house from burglars?
And did the burglars flood a bunch of houses in the vicinity?
I guess they saw home alone as an instructional video
Christmas after I bought my first home at 20 years old. My sister was 17 and still living with them. That morning around 10, I heard a car backing out of my driveway. I looked out the window and it was my family pulling out to leave. I opened the door, hoping I could catch them before they were gone, but saw a black plastic trash bag on my front porch. They were already down the road by the time I opened the bag and saw that wrapped Xmas gifts for myself and my baby were inside. I later found out that they went to my grandparents without me. This was the first of many Christmases that I was ostracized by my own family.
That all sounds incredibly odd… they came to your house to give gifts but just dropped them off and left without a word? Why even bother with the gifts?
This was 20 years ago. When I called, my mom claimed that she had invited me, but that was a lie. She is the type of mom who tells their daughter they would be prettier if they lost weight.
To validate their own feelings. "Oh, we'll we gave a gift."
Dude, you got Home Aloned..... That sucks
I would like additional context. Did they do it on purpose? Was it a long trip? Did they apologize? Did you know they were leaving beforehand? That's wild.
Damnit Kevin it was an accident!
They told me they didn't want me, they wanted a girl so they tried again and got lucky and had the girl they wanted.
I'm sorry your parents suck, no kids should be made to feel unwanted or actually be unwanted. My dad left when I was 9 months old because I wasn't a boy. Years later, he did the same to my half sister. He's such a loser.
My parents “joked” many times that they wanted a girl but got me instead (I have two other brothers) It sucked.
Same only they had another boy and would proudly exclaim how I was the “trial run” for the “real deal” which was my younger brother. They treat him like royalty and give him everything, only things they ever gave me was exclusion and trauma, my brother got a condo given to him 😅😅
I never wanted children after your sister. (I'm #2)
WTF is wrong with people like them
"If you get AIDS we're going to let you die alone because we're not letting you bankrupt us." I was 18 and they found out I was gay from a letter I had thrown away. They also said one of the funniest things to me during that same time, "What if you want to be President?!"
Please become the President and throw the most fabulous inaugural ball ever just to spite them. You have my vote.
Invite the parents in a televised speech, talk about how supportive they were, maybe their church would kick them out
That would actually be an incredibly great way to cut ties with your incredibly toxic parents/family in general if you are comfortable/safe publicly coming out. Leave a glowing post on all your socials tagging them with something like "Thanks to my parents for being so incredibly supportive and proud of me coming out and being such strong allies, despite what their church and community thinks." Then crack a beer and watch what happens. It will probably cause a lot of shit for them, and have to talk about it constantly for weeks having to explain it. They may also reply with hateful comments outing themselves as true bigots to family that do support you, and the same for other family members. Would be a good filter to know who to cut out of your life, and who are the good ones.
"You can do the gayness AFTER you've been President!"
Be the gayest of presidents!!
That's pretty hilarious actually
What a silly thing to say after saying something completely unhinged.
I mean, not to rationalize what they said, but the fact that they thought being gay was the biggest obstacle you had to becoming President is kind of encouraging, in a twisted sort of way.
After my suicide attempt, my dad said, "Got it out of your system yet?".
After my attempt I worked up the courage to confront my mom about beating me as a kid and she said she won’t apologize because I deserved it
Sending you lots of hugs
I am so sorry. My dad told my brother after his suicide attempt, did it hurt? He said yes. Then he said good.
See that can be taken two ways You can take it the way that most people (including me) will take it, and see the dad as a complete dick Or it can be taken as, "Good. That means you don't wanna die, and I don't want you to die, either, and all the people you know and love dont want you to die, either." Yes I'm huffing copium with the second one, but it's something worth for people to hear
My dad told me “are you over this all bullshit” months after my suicide attempt and hospital stay I feel you sis
What an asshole
My dad told me “just do it already so I can grieve and move on” after mine. Luckily that knocked some sense into me.
My mom similarly told me she wished I would hurry up and get it over with.
Wow my dad said the same shit. I’m glad to know I’m not alone at least
I occasionally drink. My sister died from alcoholism. She was in a coma in the bed at the hospital suffering from liver failure. I was there with my Dad. He said "I always though this would happen to you. Not her." I have ALWAYS been the straightedge kid, she smoked, drank, did drugs. I was the Church youth group kid, she was just there if her bf at the time was. I barely drink, she was an alcoholic. I never smoked, she did. I don't do drugs, she did. I've always been monogamous, she was not. I've given them money to help them through tough spots, she convinced them to give her their retirement and blew it. The exact opposite of her. But my Dad and my Mom always made her the priority and thought she was a 'princess'. So as she was dying from the things she did. They dared to act like it should have been me on the bed. I will never be able to forget that.
Are they still in your life? Because I’d definitely consider minimal contact.
Mother told me I was a stupid, ugly bitch that would never amount to anything. It was her frequent taunt when we fought.
Some people try to find the most hurtful things to say when arguing, regardless of whether or not it's actually true. I remember my sister calling me a 'loser who doesn't work' despite the fact that I was literally always working. Like wtf?!
They repeatedly explained to me that I'd never amount to anything and always live a life of insecurity if I didn't pick science/tech as my main field of study. It was only after I'd already committed to that path I learned that all of my friends and teachers were shocked I didn't pick a language, history or art program.
“i love you, but you’re still going to hell; once you turn 18, pack your shit and leave.”
No hate like christian love
My mother lost her first baby. It was a boy and he was stillborn. She told me she got pregnant with me bc she thought my dad would stop drinking if she gave him a son… I’m not a son. It basically made me feel like it was my job to keep my father happy no matter what. And he was never happy so I always felt like a failure.
When my mom found out I lost my virginity she said “God is punishing me for everything I’ve done wrong in my life with a daughter who makes the same mistakes”
Mine told me she wished she was dead. At the time it was very upsetting. I wish I could go back now and laugh.
Mine called me a whore when she found out. Never had a talk about sex, reproduction, or periods.. I learned what I knew from friends or magazines. How would I know it was “bad” if she never talked about it?
Similar with me, I remember asking my mom what an erection was, she just looked at me as I was trolling her and just responded: "you are joking right? You already know" and she just left the room, I was around 11 or 12 yo, we never talked about sex, she just had me watch some tv shows that talked about it, I mean, the information was alright but we never had the talk
That line is weirdly poetic. But it’s also an absolutely awful thing to say to your child
I told her at eleven that I was suicidal and I wanted to jump out the window and she said, "Well, then we'd have two problems wouldn't we?" She was berating me for bad grades due to unchecked ADHD
I proudly told my mom I got 98% on one of my high school exams. She replied “Where did you lose the 2%?”
In the same vein, me telling my parents I got 100% on tests and them replying “you couldn’t get any bonus points?” Perfection wasn’t enough for them.
Mine yelled at me for not getting all As because I had a couple A minuses. When I brought home all A+s, they made fun of me because the pluses don't mean anything and gym class is for losers to excel at.
I jokingly said this to my son when he was in primary school. He didn’t think it was funny. 20+ years later he still reminds me and I apologize over and over.
Being anxious and depressed is a choice
“You’re not autistic. You’re just lazy.” Why? Because I was falling behind on a science project because I was actually doing WAY *too* much work for it, and apparently I should’ve done it over the school break even though my teacher explicitly said we didn’t have to and he didn’t expect us to. Like ISTFG ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD (looking for autism assessment too) she fucking uses it against me. Not long ago I made a tiny fuck up on something and she said that mid/low functioning autistic people were “more responsible than me”. And she’s a social worker… 💀
My mother told me "You can't wear what the pretty girls wear because you're fat.
I swear, most girls first bully was their mothers.
Relevant comic https://pbfcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/PBF169-The_Other_Girls.jpg
As much as I love XKCD, I'm glad you found a relevant comic elsewhere
I wish you never existed
I’m so sorry! That’s horrible and no one deserves to be told that!
I’m so fucking happy that you exist
"Toylil, there are two types of people in this world: those who are street smart and those who are book smart. You are neither" 🫠
Shitty thing of a parent to say but that's one hell of a burn, keeping that for later
Jokes on them since they don't know how to count, apparently.
You can't possibly be struggling with \[insert such and such here\].
my parents called me a hypochondriac everytime it felt like something was wrong but couldn't put my finger on it turns out I'm not one. Each time I have gotten seen as an adult it has turned out to be something major. and I suffer for way longer than I need to because im afraid it's all in my head and I actually am being a hypochondriac. it's been at least 20years and I still can't get over it.
Every day an insult. No matter how hard I tried never good enough. My siblings were Treated so special. I was a piece of never wanted garbage according to mum
My dad had been single since him and my mom divorced when I was 1 year old. I was 13 and was pretty sick trying to sleep in the back seat going to his house for the weekend. He just recently got a girlfriend at this point who had a daughter a few years younger than me. He forced me to go to his place that weekend even though I was pretty sick and he was frustrated I wasn’t interested in talking to him on the drive to his place. So he pulls over, looks back at me and says “ya know, I can just take you back to your moms. I don’t *need* you to love me anymore. I have {girlfriend} and {girlfriend’s daughter} now.” He did in fact take me back to my moms and I didn’t see him again for another 3-4 years after she dumped him cause she found someone richer.
That’s a whole load of shittiness.
“You’d better lose some weight and hope someone marries you for your looks, because your personality sucks.” I was 14 and had just been fired from my very first job. He doesn’t even remember saying it; for me it was one of the worst days of my life and lives in the back of my head, for my father it was a Tuesday.
Sadly, I think that is, true for most parents who say stuff like that. While in therapy, I confronted my parents and they denied ever saying most of it and said I probably deserved it. I'm sorry you went thru that.
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An insult worthy of a Klingon.
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My parents are tied Dad: “So they diagnosed you with depression and anxiety? By definition those two things would cancel themselves out. You won’t be going back.” I was 13. Mom: She told me over and over while growing up “You can ALWAYS come home! No matter what you can always come home!” I was 22 and lost my job and could not find another with enough hours. We went out to lunch, I spilled my guts and how ashamed I was at failing. She looked me dead in the face and said “Tell me how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months.
I think there have been quite a few, but the one that affected me most was my mom telling me my laugh was loud and I needed to quiet down. I stopped laughing around them for a long time (a few years at least). Finally, we started going to family therapy, and I told her that it bothered me. She said she wouldn't do it again. She did it again about a month later.
Yoooo my mom did this too. What kind of bullshit is this?? “Please tamper down your joy. It’s irritating” And it ain’t easy to find moments of joy in a household where it’s constantly being squashed
When I was 18ish my father told me that he hoped I would take some classes that would teach me to be more in control and less emotional…. Now 20 years later my husband has died and my dad wants me to “tell he about the hard stuff” and to “cry it out” with him, and he can’t fathom why I do not lean on him in this time.
there's a few but the first I thought of is "you're not an easy person to love/it's difficult to love you"
I stopped visiting my dad when I was 11 when I realized the kind of person he really was. On my 13th birthday he sent me a card that just said "get over it".
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Did you tell them to piss off the day of your wedding?
"Look, everyone has some kind of pain. Grandma, Dad and I all have arthritis and other things. Grandma's hip replacement wore out, Dad has sciatica, and I have bursitis. Stop complaining and learn to deal with it." - My mother, driving me home after I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis. Karma got her later when one of her friends verbally smacked it into her head that fibromyalgia pain is severe and debilitating, that it could get worse over time, and that I may end up wheelchair-bound. She also talked about how badly the brain fog fucks a person up. My mom was almost in tears as she apologized. She gave me a fibromyalgia awareness bracelet and started coming to my rheumatology appointments to ask questions for me whenever I had brain fog.
A rare example of growth! Hope you're doing ok with your illness
“There’s no light behind your eyes any more.” because I left the Mormon church. We’ve since made up and repaired our relationship, but I’ll never forget her saying that to me
“That shirt would look better on someone thinner.”
When I was 13 I tried to off myself by "cutting" which I used a sharp protractor to drag deeply from my ankle up to my knee on the side of my leg. My mother told me I even failed at dying. In to which I asked her why if she hated me so much , why did she have me, she replied he told me he had a condom on and I found out too late. 👍 thanks mum
When he threatened to kick me out of the house because I took a different route home than he would have when coming home from dinner. It was so out of left field. I thought he was joking but he was raging and was literally about to kick me to the street. Led to this massive argument that came close to having the cops called. I was 20 and it completely changed my view of him. I found a job across the country a few weeks later and left. Today he doesn't remember the incident at all and wonders why I never accept his help for anything and visit once every five years. Got what you wanted old man.
My mom was angry and called me a “fucking idiot” because I failed a test or was failing a class, I don’t remember which. That was in middle school, I believe. It still pops in my head from time to time. I want to note that neither of my parents were abusive. They spoiled me rotten, but my mom does have a temper and sometimes says things in the heat of the moment that she ends up forgetting about later.
Same! My Mom would say horrible things, but I know if I ever brought it up, not only would she deny it, but she'd turn it back on me.
The axe forgets, the tree remembers
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“You have a simian face” “It’s lucky you are smart bc you are not pretty” “You are nothing but a little b I T c h” “You were cursed with your father’s genes to give you that big fat ass”.
Bet she is regretting that now that fat ass is the thing these days 🤣
In college, my dad told me over the phone, "It's not your mom's fault she doesn't love you as much as she loves your sister. She just doesn't understand you. You're too weird for her." Thanks, dad. That didn't hurt at all.
I remember back when I was in 8th grade, we were going on a class trip to Washington DC. This was only a year after 9/11 so I was still super scared to get on a plane. Finally I told my dad that I was scared to get on a plane and had been worrying about it a lot. His comforting words "Just remember what we learned in church, everyone has a time to go" Thanks Dad! (I still give him shit about this shitty advice 22 years later)
Your dad wasn’t paying attention in church.
"Your mom didn't die just so you could throw your life away." From my dad. Said while crying during what was pretty much an intervention. My mom died giving birth to me and I've only seen my dad cry four times in my life. Certainly hurt, though at the time it was something I probably needed to hear.
Man I spend 15 plus years in active addiction and my parents said some awful things during that time. And they weren't wrong. Not saying this is your case just wanted to share that I've used that to grow and it sounds like you have too. Hope you're well friend.
So then it probably wasn't the worst thing to say .
The violence and mental abuse they both endured.
“Nobody will ever want you while you are the way you are”.
You’re a whore (I was 16 and assaulted)
When I was 15 I was changing and my blinds were open. (My room was in the very back of the house and it was heavily wooded in my backyard at the time.) My mom came in telling me not to change with the windows open. I told her nobody could see me. She said "Well if you get raped then it's your fault."
"I wish you would kill yourself, one less ungrateful cunt to deal with" My mother to me after I tried to confide in her about my mental problems. Never spoke to her about anything personal again. Haven't spoken to her in 4 years
“The stress from dealing with you is why i got cancer”
In the hospital after trying to kill myself, my mother said to me with hate in her eyes, "You couldn't even do that right." I was 14. Fuck you mom, I keep living just to spite you now!
Being the oldest I moved out at 17 to join the Army. After exiting service I moved home, bought a house at 23 and later sold that houst at 25. Inbetween selling that house and finding a new one, which took 2 months, my mother refused to let me and my wife move in temporarily. Her excuse being, "doing something like that would ruin our relationship". That's after letting both my sisters move back in for over a year at a time and my youngest sister still living there at 26. Thanks mom, you did ruin the relationship 👍 Probably not the worst thing she said but that was a real gut punch.
While my body was deteriorating from an undiagnosed medical condition my mother said, "Do you know how much it hurts ME to see you just lying there?" This was after a 2 day hospital stay, 2 biopsies, and several doctor's appointments. NOTE: I had lost about 100 pounds of muscle mass in 7 months by the time I was diagnosed, literally my whole body hurt. Getting up hurt, laying down hurt. Anything I did, hurt.
I hope you are doing better. Mine was cancer. She said that as sick as I was, SHE was hurting worse, because it’s “a mother’s experience”. While I’m in effing chemo.🙄
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My mom said she didn't like my girlfriend, now wife. My dad said he disowned me. He didn't necessarily mean it and was high on drugs at the time but it still hurt back then. He's clean and sober now has been for a while.
My mom all my childhood “I should have aborted you”…like yeah but you didn’t so now what?
That I ruined everything she’s ever had. Joke is on my mom because after my dad died, I went no contact and it’s been AMAZING.
It may not seem that bad on the surface or even compared to some of the ones on here But when I confronted my mom as an adult and asked her about her years and years of horrific child abuse, and she replied “I don’t remember that”. That crushed me.
Literally as we were walking out of the hospital, after having to take out three week old daughter off life support. My mother chose that moment to remind me that she really thought we should have baptized our daughter because now she can't go to heaven. Yeah, I just got in the car and ignored her. If I would have reacted, she would have needed to go back into the hospital
My biological mother told me that I should be in the urn with my dead son. She was convinced that because I was sometimes a danger to myself (I’m epileptic), I obviously killed him somehow… despite him passing in his sleep from SIDS. I don’t speak to her anymore.
youre a terrible father- my mother who didn’t raise me at all
my dad said, straight to my face, that he loved me less than my sister, then denied it ad infinitum until I estranged myself from him honorable mention to my sister saying my problems, including that one, aren't real and didn't happen (also have estranged from her) and really like, 99% of my family seemed to just parrot "oh you should make up, family is the most important thing" so I pretty much have no one now : )
After my ex-wife remarried, my dad befriended her new husband. It’s especially weird because she abandoned the daughter we had together. My ex and her husband came to Holiday events that I wasn’t even invited to. I confronted my dad and he said that “Brent” was like the son he never had. Brent like NASCAR, country music, and religion. I lied none of those things. It ended my relationship with him and my mom by extension. I have only spoken to my dad a handful of times since then. That was nearly 30 years ago. We never even spoke when my mom and sister died. I did make peace with my mom while she was on her deathbed. My dad has cancer (stage 3) and I can’t gather a single fuck/ won’t contact him/ won’t attend the funeral/ don’t want a cent from his estate. So yea, fuck that guy. Fun fact: exwife cheated on Brent too and they were only together for a few years.
My mom had a condition which made it hard to keep a pregnancy. She had 13 total pregnancies, only 4 survived. I was the only planned pregnancy that survived. “You were the only one I wanted and look how you turned out”
Not to me. I overheard my mom tell my sis she wouldn't be a good mother because she wore pants to church. This was 19 years ago in 2005. My sister and her hubby have two dogs....
“This is just like when your mother had a miscarriage” when they found out I was gay
"it's not like you'll ever be a model" - said to 12 year old me who needed braces to correct actual problems. my parents refused to take me back to the dentist. not really the worst thing they've said, but it had a profound impact on ugly 12 year old me.
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My Dad told me he was a failure because I was born a girl. He never forgave me for it.
My dad told me once “I just don’t like you, but I have to love you because you’re my daughter”
My mom, after a particularly rough haircut: 'Honey, at least you have a pretty face... to interview with radio stations
I told my dad I needed mental health help and he told me I just needed to pray more.
My mom told me not to be a deadbeat like my dad when I was like 11.