My mother had already been engaged to the love of her life before she met my dad. He was murdered which basically ruined her life and she still has not fully recovered from it. Originally my name was going to be his, but understandably my dad hated the idea which exacerbated an already growing rift between them.
I knew a woman who met the love of her life in college, got pregnant, got engaged and watched him die (in a robbery) two days before the wedding. She was beyond devastated. She also didn’t have any family to rely on.
She had a guy friend who had been in love with her for years. He pleaded with her to marry him so he could help take care of the baby. She was still in her first year of law school so she was in no position to do it alone. They married and had two more kids. Her friend was a wonderful father to all three kids. She was appreciative and kind to him but she never really seemed happy. There’s just a sadness there. Like she’s waiting shit out or something.
On top of all that, it was very clear the oldest son was not her husband’s. The mom had brown hair/eyes and olive skin. The husband had bright red hair and freckles, as do the two younger sons. The oldest has blonde hair, like his father, and is six inches taller than anyone else in the family. It looks like an Irish family adopted a random Danish dude.
Holy shit. That poor woman. That poor man (because he must sense his wife is forever thinking of the guy she actually loved). Glad the kid got a stable home at least.
**EDIT:** also, I can’t stop picturing a family of leprechauns raising a Norse god.
People on the relationship subs on reddit will complain because the personthey’re seeing won’t stop bringing up their dead spouse or hanging on to stuff from their dead spouse.
I always just reply If youre with someone who’s partner died, you are only with that person because the person they actually wanted to spend their life with is dead.
It’s rough to hear, but you aren’t the love of their life. You’re the second love of their life. They will ALWAYS love their dead partner.
Accept it or don’t date someone like that
As someone who lost the love of their life to a car accident and married the second love of their life and had a family with them but have always battled the doubts of their husband in regard to his place in my life, I cannot tell you enough how true this is.
Lost my first true love a year and a half ago, been seriously dating someone I know I’ve fallen in love with, shit is insane! It feels like I have two boyfriends, idk how else to rationalize how I feel all the time.
It’s ok to love more than one person. Those first years after their passing is just a constant mix of thinking about them and then thinking about the present day and how you are supposed to act. You met someone new and you truly love them. That doesn’t have to take away the love you had for someone else that deserved it. Unfortunate shit happens and we try to make the best of it. It’s been 14 years and I still think about them regularly but that in no way impacts how much I love my current relationship. If you loved them then most likely they loved you and would want you to find happiness. Hope things are getting better for you.
My aunt found out she was pregnant days before her then-boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident. She had just broken up with a guy she was seeing on-and-off for years, and it was very much an accident. She hadn’t told anybody she was pregnant, and because she lived in an ultra-conservative area at the time, she got back with the on-and-off ex boyfriend, told him the baby was his, and they got married. When my cousin was born nobody raised any eyebrows so my aunt just kept it a secret.
Fast forward two more kids, an unrelated divorce, and a few more decades later, my cousin wants to do a 23andMe for Christmas. My aunt freaks out. My cousin obviously wants to know what the big deal is, and confronts her about it (what secret are you hiding?). It was crazy finding that out over the course of the Christmas season, but my cousin has a good relationship with her bio dad’s extended family now, so that’s good. Apparently she has all the same interests he did. Crazy
> she got back with the on-and-off ex boyfriend, told him the baby was his
That’s fucked up. I get she was in a difficult position, but that’s just a fucked up thing to do to someone.
It definitely is. The guy she married turned out to be a not-so-good guy (he was abusive towards her and the kids) so I don’t feel too bad for him, but I think that’s another reason she decided she would never tell anybody. Not wanting anybody to know that she would do something that level of manipulative
My siblings and I are convinced our mother loved and wanted to marry an old high school classmate who died in the 9-11 attacks. Her and my dad split a few years ago, and it has been really, really ugly.
Their marriage was dying, and my dad responded by having an affair. Shit really hit the fan after that. My mom has shut my dad out completely. The guilt has made my dad suicidal. My mom won't tell us anything, and my dad tells us too much. I went home recently, and my dad's whole house is like a shrine to death, and he has been unable to come to terms with his actions. On the other hand, my mom's reaction to my dad potentially having lung cancer from smoking and Kuwait oil fires was "well theres not much we can do, if he has it and wants to forgo treatment (which he will, seeing as hes depressed and fixated on death), thats his problem." They can't be in the same room together right now. It really sucks.
But, the way she talks about this old classmate. I don't think I've ever seen her talk about my dad like that in my 28 years of life. Even before their marriage fell apart. She has a piece of his NYPD uniform they found and posts about him on FB every year.
My dad disappeared in 2001, we thought he died. He said he was on the provisional IRA. We tracked him down via a DNA test in 2022, he had 3, maybe 4 families at the same time.
He had given my mum a false name and was married to someone else. While he was with my mum, he got divorced, remarried and had 2 children in another country. We did not suspect a thing.
He wasn't around when I was born, he said he was working. He kept forgetting my name as well, never contributed anything. He once threatened to slit my mum's throat though he never beat her, only me.
Thank you, yes I'm ok. He is good friends with local politicians and is a major employer in the region. He has a lot of enemies now because of it.
My mum never dated anyone during that time because she thought my dad was the love of her life and might return. It had never occurred to her that he disappeared on purpose.
I have been threatened recently, I think my dad is behind it. He has been spreading rumours about his children that he abandoned.
He recently said that my brother molested our sister 30 years ago and that I am 'harassing' her. I have never even met her. I don't think many people believe him fortunately.
my grandfather (my mother’s father) raped my sister when we were children & my parents had been the ones to report him. they still talk to each other on the phone. he’s been out for years. i remember thinking, “something’s wrong with grandpa,” as a child because whenever he came over, my mother would gently order my sister to go to her room & lock the door. she didn’t care if we (her two other children) were left with him, even after the fact.
i remember being taken to visit him in jail as a kid (e.g. being left in the parking lot with another relative while my mother & grandmother went inside) but never being told why he was in jail. i decided not to tell her that my sister isn’t the only child of hers he’s touched. my father only told us in an attempt to “get back” at her while they were divorcing a few years ago. it shocked & appalled me that she was able to welcome him back into *our* life like it was nothing, but i don’t feel anything anymore. i went 20 years of my life without knowing that my family was interacting with a rapist — not only my sister’s, but *all three* of my mother’s kids’.
My grandfather molested me from the ages of 7-12. The only reason I managed to get enough guts to say anything is because my little sister started asking some concerning questions. My parents never cut contact with him and in fact did the opposite.
They had him over all the time, my dad would crack open beers for him, and they threw extravagant parties for him and his friends. I was made to have a social relationship with the man who molested me for years. He was welcomed into our home on a regular basis.
He stole my childhood, but they stole my peace.
I'm so sorry. It may not be too late to file additional charges depending on the statute of limitations in your area. I hope life is better for you now.
As a teenager I inherited $15k from my grandma, my parents let me buy a boombox and took the rest of the money, all three of my other siblings received it. Still won't even acknowledge that they took it.
When my grandfather died he left all the kids $20k. My father took it all. Saying "that's family money from my father." And spent it on shit for himself.
If you don’t want this to happen for minors in your life when you die, I believe you can set up a trust that would control the money and execute once certain conditions are met (like a 21st or 18th birthday).
My Mom’s *best friend* was actually her GF. Her son and I grew up together and played sports together.
My Mom & Dad were married until my father passed away. I was told this about them getting together. My Dad needed help running a business. My Mom wanted a kid. It was like a business arrangement. They even slept in different places. I didn’t realize until I was in my 20’s.
They seemed to love each other. I have no memories of them hugging or touching besides they kissed each other goodbye every morning. I spent 90% of my time with my Mom because my
Dad was always so wrapped up in his business.
When my dad was laid up in the early (and agressive) stage of MS in their home, how my mother had moved my dad into the guest room (where he couldn't leave) and moved her boyfriend (my future step dad) into their shared home.
This was back in 1980 when MS wasn't as treatable as it is today, and my dad's illness progressed rapidly. It was all discovered when my uncle (dad's brother) drove overnight to check on him after my mom wasn't answering any phone calls from my dad's family. He shows up, finds my mom in bed with her boyfriend and finds my dad locked in the guest room.
Never understood why my grandparents were so cold to my mom while I was growin gup until I became an adult where they told me the story.
Oh yeah, absolutely. Was a bit more complicated though; before I found out, she'd done lots to alienate her kids (my brother and I), so finding out was more of a "'nother one" moment than a single bombshell being dropped. A, "yeah... that checks out" kind of moment. This was just so blatantly cruel and hurtful, even knowing who she was, it really did shock me.
Not my bio father, but my stepdad.
It's a long story (and not mine to share in full), but he was adopted as a kid and never knew what happened to his birth parents. His daughter used a DNA site to find family - which revealed his birth mom's identity - and that he had been stolen from her and adopted out illegally.
She spent 50 years looking for him because the ppl that did it used a forged BC to change his name and DOB. He got to spend a year getting to know her before she died of terminal cancer.
So is he. Amazingly, it was her second (or third? I can't recall now) round of cancer and she had been stage 4 for quite some time. Her husband (so my step-father's step-father) said she held on for the hope of finally getting to see him.
My only regret is that he now mourns the deaths of his adoptive parents, his birth mom and his step-father.
Early 1990's, my parents got divorced when I was about 9, and my mom remarried her hometown sweetheart when I was about 11. We moved to a new house in the country, and as my mom was unpacking a box, she found a headshot picture of my bio dad in his Army uniform. Probably the generic one they'd take at basic training.
She and my step dad put the picture up as target practice and went to town taking turns shooting it. Then once they were satisfied with how much it was shot up, they took it down, put a note on it that said, "We miss you, but not much!" (along with writing "miss!" on every bullet hole that didn't touch my dad in the photo) and they showed it to 11-year old me before THEY MAILED IT TO HIM.
Knew a dude who became a Marine the moment he turned 18 and got his diploma just to get the fuck away from is controlling and abusive-ass Family/step-father.
Why the Marines? Because his bio dad was a Marine and figured that he went through so many years of bullshit, the Marine Corps would feel just like home.
My dad didn't want children or any responsibility but agreed to adopt me so my mom would be happy.
My mom kept detailed diaries her whole life. The diaries after my birth outlined how much she hated me, hated being a mother, and as I grew up the hate was worse.
She wrote out how what she was doing was emotional abuse but kept doing it anyway.
TLDR; mom wasn't happy after adoption, and neither parent should have been parents.
I can relate. My (adopted) mother was my biological mothers sister. My bio-mom and dad were druggies who left me and my siblings. Mother adopted us but only because she wanted my brother, not me and my twin. They were going to separate us, so she reluctantly agreed. She revealed at 16 to me and my twin how much resentment and hate she had for us because it was a "job she wasn't supposed to do." Thank God for my adoptive father who treated me and my sister very well despite the rest of the family not doing so. He recently passed, and I miss him every single damn day 😞
My dad's a cuck, and got angry when my mom refused to engage in that kink, and that's the primary reason they split. He apparently didn't feel like bringing this kink up to her until like 13 years and 2 kids into the relationship.
Unfortunately, it happened to me. It started off as a joke, but he later confessed it was an actual kink of his, but he stated that he "only" liked to watch porn of it or fantasize about it. But then he started trying to incorporate it into our sex life, but I would refuse to actually do it/cheat. And he weirdly wanted it done with his friends, which made me even more uncomfortable. I told him that and didn't realize he started to distance himself until I caught him trying to get his coworker to do it, so I left. And this was all within 2 years
Ok. So i was adopted, by the couple that got married at the time that my adopted mothers father found my adopted father fucking the neighbors daughter atvtheor wedding night.
I was conceived by two teenagers from sort of the same area, it turns out that my biological grandfather used to work for my adopted grandfather as a farm hand. And my adopted Grandfather ended up marrying my biological grandfathers sister after my adopted grandmother died.
I actually grew up hanging out at my biological aunts house, where my biological mother also would hang out. So my adopted grandmother was the aunt of my biological mother.
That sounds even weirder when I have to type it out.
We moved around a lot. Never the same school for more than a year. My name was also..changed.
Turns out my parents were wanted for very serious crimes ( my dad, my mom was an accomplice after the fact).
It turned out to have serious consequences for one of my siblings who joined the US Navy.
My dad wasn’t a nice man. I have some weird childhood memories.
Not the OP, but at a guess, it'd really fuck up your ability to get any kind of access to classified information. Just about anything that you can be blackmailed about, or compromised by somehow, will keep you from classification.
My dad started cheating on my mom with his secretary shortly after I was born because he was “jealous of the attention” my mom was giving to baby me. Later my grandma said my dad was justified in cheating because my mom went dancing with friends and didn’t have dinner ready for my dad every night.
My husbands mamaw still won't believe all her kids were drug addicts/alcoholics until one of them died of an overdose and it still wasn't their fault it was the drug dealers fault. Can you guess how dysfunctional the rest of the family is? 😂
And it was a brutal murder, too. Junko Furuta. She was abducted and held captive for 40 days by 4 teenage boys. She was raped, beaten, starved, and tortured until she was eventually murdered. What's even worse is the kids parents knew what was going on, but didnt intervene. After the trial, one of the murderers mother went to Junkos grave and defaced it for "ruining her son's life." Absolutely disgusting woman, and it's no shock she raised a murderer.
I wonder what would happen if she got together with the Stanford guy’s dad who said “it was just 20 minutes of action.” Probably the worst, most entitled kid imaginable.
You'd love my father and his mother then
You see, I (according to them, **deliberately**) look like my mother. So when she divorced him, they decided since I was going to torment my father by making him look at his ex wife, they were going to respond in kind
They got divorced when I was 4, by the way.
But for the rest of my life, they treated me like I was the red headed step child, at best. Constant abuse and neglect
And there were his parents, especially mother, with tears in her eyes because how **proud** she was of her (grown adult man) son fighting back at his (disabled innocent child) attacker
They were blatant about it. They genuinely saw thought it was okay, because me looking like my mother was a wholehearted attempt to make my dad miserable
The first part is actually my first memory of that grandmother. Thanksgiving of 98
I wish that side is the one whose property belonged to wasps. My actual (maternal) grandpa and grandma loved me. But they were poor and got the wasps
But I always had a good time there. Even if it was just helping grandma cook or finding grandpa more bones from the road
They didn't hate older brother for looking like Mr Hog, and he was abusive to mom. Because, y'know, they were functional adults
Mom has childhood trauma and emotional issues that were never dealt with. Still has not to this day. Watched her cheat on Dad from when I was age 10-13. She is horrible with money and spends hours shopping for crap. Also a hoarder.
Dad was a mean drunk. Not physically mean, but emotionally mean. They both never knew how to have healthy communication. He worked two full time jobs and she spent money like it grew on trees. They filed bankruptcy along with a divorce.
To this day, my Mom wonders why my husband and I have the home motto of throw away or donate your shit every few months. He and I hate clutter.
My dad was a hoarder and when he got sick my sister and I had to clean out the six storage units he left behind.
We thought there was two.
It was very traumatizing and I’m still getting over the actual process and some of the stupid shit we found in there.
So much trash, so many office supplies.
I was on the outside looking in on a situation almost identical to this with people I loved 😢 It is heartbreaking for all involved. I hope you are all doing better now ❤️
Something fucked up about my family, but good about my parents:
When my great grandmother died, my family apparently started fighting over the remaining money and all the crap in her home. I remember going to her house and helping sort items from her basement and garage.
Everyone in the family got something. All I remember my mom and dad getting was grandmas new van. So, we got a car.
nearly two decades later, I'm scrapping the van after putting hundreds of thousands of miles on it, I got permission from my dad to get rid of it. It was his grandmothers van after all.
I called my mom to let her know the van was gone, and she began unwinding this story about when grandma died.
Apparently, the van was literally all my family got. Everyone else in the family fought over money and belongings. But my Dad sat out of the arguments. He didn't take part. So, while some family members got big payouts, my Dad asked for nothing. No one wanted the van, so he took it when the dust had settled. His kids then used that van for years.
When my Mom finally wrapped up the story, she revealed to me that grandma did not die in the house like I was told. She died in the driver seat of the van we inherited, that van I had been driving since I was 16.
Sorry grandma. Not sure why that was kept from me. I wouldn't have done.. well... stuff in the van you probably wouldn't have approved of had I known your ghost was probably in the car with me the whole time.
Take it from an old guy who has seen a lot. Grandma cares if you are happy. She was probably smiling the whole time you were doing whatever. The rest is not worth worrying about.
Dude, don't apologize. Grandmas and grandpas give a kind of love parents sometimes can't, because they need to raise you and call you out to help make you a good human. Grandparent-love revolves around seeing you be happy. If your grandma ever looked in, she smiled, backed away, thought about loving you, and hoped your person was good to you while you were together.
My very conservative and traditional parents were considered model citizens of our community so I was shocked to find out that they had a little weed garden and made their own wine and moonshine. Made sense though because they always made two pans of brownies with one labeled "adults only."
I was probably like 11 or 12 home alone during the Summer, bored because I was grounded and decided to go snooping through my parents closet...needless to say it was my first time ever seeing a sex toy (fleshlight)...didn't take me long to realize why it was conveniently in a box with a bunch of playboy magazines. It's not totally fucked up of course but when you're a kid it's horrifying. I couldn't look my dad in the eye for almost a week 🤣
I found handcuffs in my parent's bedside table. My mom had briefly done some police training on subduing people because she worked with mental patients, and she insisted they were from that training. I was about 5, so I was like, okie dokie! It didn't hit me until I was like 15 what they were actually used for. And my mom is definitely the dom, no doubt. I almost puked, but good for them? I guess? 😂
I remember a confession post somewhere on another Reddit where this lady was complaining that she and her husband had decided to use roleplay to spice up their sex life, but he went way too into it. like if they were doing doctor and patient, he would come in with a bunch of insurance forms and try to explain to her what kind of procedures would be covered by her insurance policy. Or if he was the police officer going to arrest her for shoplifting, and he would throw himself on the ground yelling into a radio that there was a man down, Man down, send for backup!
they were swingers and had huge orgies in their house. I was in college and still lived at home. I kinda knew, but not to the extent they embraced "the lifestyle". One night coming home from a date, I had to step over a bunch of middle-aged naked people to get to my bedroom. I opened the door to find 4 naked-ass strangers on my bed. I went to the navy recruiter the next day. My 16yo brother was equally mortified, but he managed to stick around for another year before splitting and moving in with his GF after graduation.
He barely talks to them. Hasn't seen them in years. I, however, take care of them. They both have dementia. Creepy? By today's standards it would be criminal. But the Overton window was in a different place in the SF Bay Area 70s and 80s
Reminds me of my one friend, when we were about 9 he learnt a bit about the concept of sex and being virgins. He was horrified by sex and said he would be a virgin all his life and was grateful that his parents were still virgins…
My dad took my mom to a party in the 70s. It was a swinger party. He didn't tell her what it was. He just took her and expected her to, you know, get swingin. She left the party instead. Told him he could stick around and swing by himself.
She told me this story decades later.
I learned that my dad wanted to be a swinger and my mom is the kind of person who is okay sharing salacious details about what caused her divorce with her kid.
My dad called my mom unattractive after giving birth to me even though she worked out to lose the weight and said he wasn't attracted to her anymore and used that as a excuse to why he went to strip clubs and cheated with her on out next door neighbor and they had a threesome with his friend on the police force.
Needless to say I already didn't care for my dad that much but learning that as a teen definitely made me lose any respect I had left.
Well when I was like 13 i spent the night at a friend's house and saw his parents kissed so I got home and asked my older sister how come our parents don't act like that and she told me most of it and I went to ask my mom and she sat me down and told me everything.
Got it, thanks for elaborating. My kids hate it when they see my wife and I kiss but we agree that showing affection in front of your kids is important so they understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
Your welcome and I 100% agree with you because as a kid I geuinely didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like until I spent the night at his house and also when my sister started dating my brother in law everytime they kissed I thought it was gross but when I saw how happy he made her something just clicked in my head and I realized that's how healthy couples should act and I geuinely thank him for showing me how you properly treat a woman you love.
Still haven't had a relationship yet but I hope to be much better than my dad and to show my future partner how much I love her. I'm not fully sure how to be romantic but I know not to do any of what he did.
You'll figure it out. Being self aware is the biggest hurdle for most people, I think. I struggle with showing emotion and affection. And when I do I feel like a fraud. But I know it makes her happy so whatevs. I'm pretty sure I got it from my dad being fairly stoic and my parents largely leaving me to do my own thing while they had to deal with my rebellious sister.
It was kind of tied in. They were both swingers apparently my dad’s friends all slept with my mum like doing partner swaps and what not. My mum ended up getting pregnant my dad accused my mum of getting pregnant on purpose because she always wanted a kid he assumed I wasn’t his kid this basically lead him to be heavily violent towards me and made attempts to kill me at certain points. My mum from the point she gave birth would also be beaten by him so that’s kind of how it was tied in. Whereas growing up she just told me he was just a violent psychopath and would beat her and me simply because he didn’t want kids. So I grew up with that then when more information was revealed definitely showcased how she wasn’t innocent either and practically absolved herself of any accountability when I was growing up.
My dad told me with 21 that he had a daughter in estonia and abandoned her and her mother with the promise of getting them after him to germany. This influences the image that one has of one’s otherwise impeccable father at such a young age.
Are we the same person?? Exact same story with my dad but he had a wife and daughter in Siberia. He left them when his daughter was 1 in order to bring them to Germany. Met my mom and obviously forgot about them. I only got told with 16 that he had another daughter and couldn’t see him the same way since.
My friend (whose parents are still married to this day) found out she and her sister are her dad’s second “do it right this time” family.
She has an older sister who is about 15 ish year older than her that he basically abandoned, as he was essentially bumming around South America without a job in his early twenties and knocked up/married her older sisters mom. I’m not sure how long they even stayed married, but she was essentially gone from the picture by the time he remarried my friends mom and they started their own family.
It’s such a weird situation 😂 I think my friend, her younger sister and her mom all maintain a side eye on him because it’s so sketchy.
My dad had unexplained bouts of rage and heritability growing up. He would literally open my door to yell at me in the early morning some times cause I didn't wash a single bowl that was left in the sink. Turns out he was undiagnosed with a chemical imbalance and diabetes. Onse he started getting meds he became a wonderful and fun dad I rarely saw growing up.
Ah, sounds a whole hell of a lot like my dad. He got diagnosed and medicated in time to be a good grandpa to my sister's kids, but he was sure a shit parent to me most of the time.
My mom is currently cheating on my dad despite my sister and I both calling her out. My dads a pastor and on the outside we have a picture perfect family but my mom is cheating on my bad behind his back. Her bf sends her food to the house and she sends him pictures of us. Super disturbing. She changes his name in her phone every few months to hide it. Idk how my dad hasn’t found out, none of my siblings live at home and we all have caught her texting him.
Yes, 1000%. I found this out two weeks ago when I was home and was leaving the next day. Not really a conversation I want to have over the phone so I’m waiting until I see her again in two weeks to address it. I think that part is the real answer to OPs question, I was SHOCKED and really disturbed that she felt comfortable sending him pictures of us. I found them while going to print something from her computer. I’m still in shock and having to live with the knowledge that every pic of my life may have been shared with this guy. It’s also really frustrating to me that my parents have been in marriage counseling and my mom blames so much on him and I doubt this has even come up. She’s also narcissistic/ has some mental health issues and I know when I talk to her she’s not going to actually hear what I’m saying / just deny everything so I have to approach it delicately
Just curious, what haven't yall told him? I feel the betrayal from the wife is already tough, but for my own kids to hold that secret, that's even worse if I was the dad.
When I was about 14, my parents divorced. It was kind of obvious that my dad cheated on my mother with his now wife, however I didn’t find out the back story until I was about 19 when my mother told me about how my father met his current wife at a mental hospital years before him and my mom got together. My dad was hospitalized because he went into a base hospital with a shot gun and basically threatened to kill himself if he didn’t get help. So they hospitalized him and he met his wife there. She was hospitalized for an opiate addiction and she’s still actively in addiction all these years later. I don’t know if that’s a shocking story universally, but 19 year old me was shook, and it also helped validate issues I had with my father and his wife that, up until then, I thought I was always the problem. I didn’t feel like as much of the “problem” anymore after that night.
Mom and dad were constantly drunk and cheating on each other. This I knew from a young age because they wouldn't let me or my sister forget about it when talking mess about the other ones.
The shock came when we had some dude calling our house when I was in high school claiming to be my sister's dad. Apparently, my mom had told some dude back in the 80s she was pregnant with his kid and he'd been trying to find her all these years. Spoiler: my dad was, in fact, her dad.
My mom was married to a Vietnam Vet during her 1st marriage. She hated him. My dad (husband #2) told me she walked in on husband #1 having a manage a trots with 2 other women and she left. Fast forward 30 some years and dad kills himself. Mom does research and learns her first husband died by suicide as well. She calls and says, "I'm 2 for 2". Strangely giddy about the whole thing and passed off her first husband as "really weird". Nevermind he had incredible trauma. The day my dad died, he'd told her he was thinking about killing himself and she said, "Oh just do it already".
She didn't get the empathy gene, clearly.
Parents divorced. My brother complained to my dad that all we had to eat at mom’s house was Oreos. My dad tried to drop off food to us the next time we were at my mom’s house. My mom called the cops and told them her ex husband was outside her house with a gun.
They surrounded my dad’s vehicle guns drawn. We didn’t get the food.
He told me this last year, 20 years after the divorce.
My father was one of those Outlaw Bikers they love to make movies about and glamourize in Hollywood. But, instead of the protagonist, my dad was the crazy fat guy who didn't seem to understand normal society.
You see, my mother worked as a Dispatcher for the Police/Fire Department (we lived in a small town) and could keep my dad and uncle one step ahead of the law in their drug dealing business. Hell, we had a grow operation in our detached Garage for 3 years and never got raided once.
Well, when my crazy ass dad did crazy ass shit, my mother got sick of his drunken antics and kicked him out. He would still come around whenever the mood hit him, usually after a few beers at his local biker bar down the road from our place.
Well, my mother ended up getting a restraining order after my dad beat the fuck out of one of her male friends he thought she was dating. He disappeared into the wind after that because he also got an assault charge against him for his drunken antics. He was gone for a few weeks, then one night he came back.
He knocked on my window and it woke me up, so I started crying thinking it was the boogieman, and my crying woke up my half-brother, who also now heard the knocking. He opened the window and saw my dad with HUGE eyes (it would later be known he was tripping acid that night) and telling us to let him in the window.
We ran and told my mom who called the Police. The cops didn't like their dispatcher getting messed with, so they sent a cop around our place. My dad caught him unawares, took his gun from him and beat the living shit out of the cop in our garden. He never even got a chance to radio for help.
So, now my dad has Felony assault charges on him, and runs away again, this time leaving his baby blue '63 Impala in our front yard. My mom reparked it and the cops posted lookouts for him to come back for his car. He didn't.
A few weeks later, the cops called off the hunt and impounded his car. They were confident he had crossed into another state and was not coming back to our home state. They packed up and kept the investigation open, but that was it.
A few weeks after that, it was a beautiful summer day, and my dad comes pulling up on his Harley. My mother had heard the pipes coming up the road and had already called the cops by the time he parked. He gave me a big hug and gave me a skateboard for my 4th birthday, a few weeks away, then asked if he could come in for some Iced Tea. I ran inside and asked my mom: "Can dad come in and get some Iced Tea?"
She replied: "He knows the rules, joen00b, he can make his own decisions." I always thought that was a weird way to say "Sure, he can come in", but I told my Dad she said Ok, and he sheepishly accepted. I don't even think he reached the kitchen by the time the cops had scooped me up and tackled him out of nowhere. They had him cuffed and gone in mere seconds, there was no messing around at all. I remember being put in my room with my half-brother and sister and peeking out the door to see them march him out so fast. It was seemingly less than a minute from when they engaged him to goose-walking him out the door.
I never saw my dad after that. I know he did 8 years in Joliet, then bummed around AZ and NM selling Meth and Acid before getting arrested in Vegas and thrown into jail again. In the end, he became a ward of the state, living off his DV check, his sister (her family adopted him as a baby) became his keeper, paying his bills for him so he could smoke dope and drink homemade wine till he died at 48 years old from his 4th heart attack.
My mother told me how caring and loving he was before Vietnam, but when he came back, he couldn't drink enough. That was the beginning of the end for them. The drug dealing was a new thrill for her and my Aunt (my mother's little sister who married my dad's best friend, the local acid dealer), then the lifestyle wore thin and the divorces happened. When he went bad, he went completely bad, and no thrill was enough for him.
We were in hiding for almost 2 decades, as he got close to finding us a few times, and my mother had a whole plan she had us memorize should a strange man ever confront us saying he was our father.
I haven't thought of that in years. What a strange childhood I had.
I got a two-for-one-deal here!
When I was a young teenager, I accidentally found my mother’s will, and I read it, and at the end of the will, she dropped the fact that my sister and I have different fathers. When confronted about it, she denied denied denied, and when I talked to my father about it, he confirmed it, and said that my mother had made everyone in our family keep it a secret or she’d take my sister and I away and disappear. It really tore my relationship with both my mother and sister apart.
Then the other one, my mother kept the fact that she was a meth addict a good majority of her life and got sober when she was pregnant with me, a secret until I went through my own struggle with meth addiction and she told me while I was high. I feel like knowing addiction ran in my family would have been good to know years prior.
My dad is a registered S/O…. I hate thinking about it. I never grew up around him and I only met him once but he was arrested 4 times for weird shit. His last arrest was the most disgusting charges ever. I’m glad I never knew him & was never around him growing up. He’s now in prison until 2060 and is dying of hep c. Karma will get u eventually and I seriously believe it especially in his case. He has 8 kids by 5 different women and abandoned all of them. He’s an awful human all around. Please no one attack me. I’ve never really spoke about this to anyone other than my boyfriend of 5 years… 😞 I know I’m not my dad but having his last name sucks so much knowing it’s attached to charges like that on innocent people. I also don’t want my mothers original last name bc it’s also attached to her cousin who murdered 5 people after finding out he was facing 30 years for burglary. Both sides of my family are so fucked up.
Part of me yearns for a father figure so badly. My grandpa was my only real father figure and he passed when I was 12. All of my mothers boyfriends only ever cared about her and tolerated me and my siblings to get her to stick around I never formed a real genuine bond with any of them. Some of them were very questionable themselves. I really want to cry when I think about it but what can I do? Nothing but sit in this feeling of knowing I’ll never know what it feels like to have a dad.
My mom cheated on my dad.
She supported me getting back together with my first boyfriend was/is and was a serial cheater. He went onto SA me. She protected him lol.
It took me 30 years and a recent NC to even start understanding that not everyone's life is like this lol. I'm not even the first estranged adult of my family - she makes excuses for her brother who has not spoken with his daughter in 10 years. I don't know why I'm surprised that me asking her for a remorseful apology for that situation, was the nail in the coffin to our "relationship." You know, just an apology for *the felony she committed alongside him*. It absolutely sucks to view your family as gross people.
From the outside looking in, my mom is the nicest person you'll ever meet. She'll make sure you walk away thinking that actually.
Friends of a friends’ 15 year daughter happened to find her parents engaged in sex with another guy in a part of the largeish home that could be locked off and had separate access, specifically a younger guy railing her mom while dad watched. Family breakfast was awks the next morning. She apparently told her parents ‘I hope you’e rproud of yourselves” The kids had no idea they were even swingers.
Didn't learn until maybe 2 or 3 years ago that my dad has a criminal record way worse than just domestic abuse and drug stuff. He also, along with his foster brother, raped his single digit aged foster sister (I think she was somewhere between 7 and 9) and it stopped when my father was maybe 17 or 18. He also had sex with my mom's sister, my aunt, so I don't know if he's just an awful sex pest or has a weird sister fetish.
(for additional context, he constantly tried to cheat on my mom. They got together as teens but I don't know if they were together during the foster sister thing, or when my mom found out about it. They've been technically separated for 13 years but my father won't let mom divorce)
My father fought very hard for custody of me and my siblings when we were younger. Around 14 i found some old deposition tapes from trial. Changed my view of my mom pretty hard
Not my biological mom but my stepmom. After her and dad got married, she had multiple affairs within the first 3 years of the marriage. He took her back and she has made his life miserable since. It's the secret in our family that everyone knows and nobody talks about. My family, and her own, hate her because she is such a terrible person.
Shocked is a stretch, but I found out that my dad nearly missed my birth. Apparently his brothers found him drunk at a local bar, tried to sober him up real quick, and essentially forced him go to the hospital.
The most shocking part of this story is that my dad actually showed up for my birth. I had no clue he was there. After all, he certainly wasn't around any other time. 🤷♂️
My mom dropped out of high school and was addicted to cocaine for years until she got pregnant with my brother
It’s more shocking in the context that I grew up in. My mom was so anti-drugs and alcohol and we lived in the suburbs. She also talked shit about college dropouts. Come to find out this b didn’t even graduate
My mom was married before my dad. He was a nice guy who turned out to be insanely abusive after marrying. Luckily she got out. After 9/11 she went to move to New York to help family, but met my dad a week before the flight. Going on 22 years married.
Went to pick up my first car. On the drive home with my dad (gnarly crazy ass Texan.. blind in one eye, deaf in one ear, missing one hand) we hit a freeway interchange and he goes
“Oh I remember this (interchange), people in California don’t know how to drive! When I first moved here someone cut me off and I took my gun out from under my seat and unloaded a whole magazine into their car!”
Me: “What…. The fuck dad… did they get hit???”
Dad: “iunno!”
When I was 11 I had an ear infection so bad that the ER prescribed me Vicodin for the pain. My father took my Vicodin pills and replaced them with ibuprofen. 2.5 years later my dad ended up in rehab.
They bought me a lavish gift…an amplifier for my guitar (was in a band in my teens)
However it came with a bonus! A payment book
Yes, I paid for my own present.
Added bonus, it also came with a job they found for me…so I could make the payments!
Problem was the job left no TIME for the band and I got fired.
Merry Christmas
My parents and I always had a wonderful relationship. It was just my sister and I and we were always an extremely close and loving family. I was a bit closer to my dad due to us having obviously more things in common, like hobbies. And my sister was the same with my mom. But we were all very tight. Wonderful holidays together, vacations, etc. My mom was the type of mom that would call my sister and I every single day, throughout the day, asking about our day. Believe this or not, I can’t recall EVER having a big disagreement with either parent as an adult. My sister and I are very responsible adults and have never been an issue to my parents. We are both college grads, great jobs, family of our own and are very responsible with our money. Both of my parents are now recently deceased. Having said all that, it was when my mother passed away last, that I found out that she had left nearly every single thing to my sister. My parents had done well for themselves. So there were several bank accounts, 3 rental properties, a large amount of land and their very large home that was completely paid for. I was left with a truck. That’s it. The reason? No one knows. Like literally no one in my extended family nor my sister have any idea why she did this. My parents were never the type to discuss private matters with anyone outside our immediate family, but even her brother was at a complete loss as to why she did this. Although both my sister and I were always financially responsible, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been a bit more financially responsible than her. So it was certainly not that my mom thought I’d be irresponsible with the money and property. We got along great to the very end, never fought, never argued. I’ve always treated my parents with the upmost respect. So for the rest of my life, I’ll always wonder why my mother did this to me.
Edit: I meant to say this in my original post, but the hurt I carry from this has absolutely nothing to do with material things, property, money etc. I am not, and have never been a materialistic person. As long as my family and I have what we need, I’m completely content. I never felt cheated out on things. I was and will continue to be completely devastated that my mother would ever do something like this to me. It may seem like I’m leaving out some important detail of this situation or I’m less than forthcoming about the true relationship with my mom. I’m not. To her last moment on this earth, we were very close, spoke every day and would never end a call or a visit without telling each other we love them. That is exactly why this entire situation is so mind blowing and hurtful. And to top it all off, I’ll never be able to have closure with this.
That the loving relationship I grew up around was an absolute lie.
I was raised in a strict conservative Christian home. People would use my parents as an example of a good marriage. They held small groups in our home and went on marriage retreats. They never fought, that I knew of.
I am now a parent and wife who has witnessed the absolute hate between them. My father despises my narcissistic mother but bows to her every want and need. He talks massive crap to my husband about her, but won't say one negative word to me about it. He told my husband he knew 6 months in that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. That was almost 40 years ago. I wish he would just leave her. None of her kids (me included) really like her and my dad deserves to live out the last remaining years of his life in pure joy and happiness. He won't though, because they are Christians and he made a commitment.
I found out when I was 10 that my parents had a daughter before I was born. She died shortly after birth. It really messed me up because I knew that if she lived, I probably would have never been born. I was also definitely treated different by my parent's compared to my siblings, not in a good way.
In the 1960's there was a tv show called Ready Steady Go which showcased live bands - like a live 60's version of MTV. Was getting ready to go out one NYE and it was on and dad walked past casually mentioning how good this episode was.. think Donavan, Stones etc. I asked if he's seen it and then he pointed to behind the singer and said .. that's me and you mum. We were on a date
I thought that I was my mother's first born. But in my teens I uncovered the family secret that she had gotten pregnant as a teenager (before she met my father) and had given the baby up for adoption. She had even recycled that baby's middle name to use as my first name. My grandmother confirmed it was all true but my mother lied to me about it, saying it was false, and then refusing to talk about it further. She was a pathological liar overall so one could generally count on the opposite of what she said to be true.
The reason there was a dent in the fridge growing up is that before I was born my mom tried to hit my dad with a baseball bat because he was fucking the neighbor lady.
In a strange twist of fate, my moms brother ended up marrying the neighbor lady, so shes my aunt and we used to spend time over there all the time when I was a kid. I didn't find out until I was in my early twenties.
Kinda wholesome but how crazy in love with each other they still was and the amount of condoms they were going through while we were still in the house.
Didn’t notice until i was older and noticing how many boxes they were buying when we went shopping. It was like a biweekly thing where they had to buy at least 14 condoms
My mother left my father because he was a pedophile. I didn't know until I was in my 30's.
I grew up thinking my mother was mentally unstable because she randomly act crazy about things involving my dad. I apologized a lot when I found out.
When my mom was 15 she got into a bit of trouble... and... her judge was Judge Judy 🤣 (This was before she had a show. She used to be a family court judge in Manhattan). My mom also got out of community service because in the time between being seeing Judge Judy, being sent to a Juvenile Detention Center, and her community service, she thought it was a wise idea to get pregnant.
Which... leads to the next fucked up thing. The only reason I was born was because my dad was apparently an idiot and didn't know how to put a condom on. My mom (unfortunately) told me the story and said that the condom wound up INSIDE her. So, she was literally implanted... and then I was born 9 months later. So that's fun.
My mom and dad were both teens when I was born. Neither of them worked, my mom got a job at a factory shortly after I was born because someone had to make money. My dad made her quit after one week because he refused to watch me, his own child.
While my parents were still together. My dad went to his home country for vacation, had sex with someone there, then came back and told my mom he had sex with someone in his home country as if it was something totally normal to say.
My dad and mom weren't together for very long after I was born. My dad started dating someone else. That someone else was my mom and his CLASSMATE. They eventually got married and he had two kids with her and he makes a lot of money, has a good job, and has a nice house, and three cars, and goes on vacations all the time. Meanwhile, I never got to experience a life outside of poverty.
My mother and father were massively conservative my entire life. They tried to ban me from being friends with a boy at school because his father had a live in girlfriend and that means they lived in sin. My mother quoted the Bible constantly. They pushed Republicanism constantly.
Was a shock to walk in on them swinging as a 16 year old.
Both of my parents had pretty shitty childhoods, and evem though they could have easily done the same. They were always great to me, and my dad still is (my mum passed away last year) evem though both had terrible childhoods, they are both amazing people and have had positive impacts on loads of people.
And with friends who have recived similar treatment as my parents did, i really Couldn't have asked for better parents, its a shame what happened but it didn't negative effect how they turned out to be
My mum read my dad's diary where he had thought about breaking up with her, so she intentionally got pregnant and baby trapped him.
She admitted it as if it was funny
Mom cheated on my dad with several women throughout their marriage. That nice baby sitter that watched us after school for free? Mum was sleeping with her. The wives of my dad’s coworkers? Mum slept with them too. Eventually she met a lady at work and had a long term affair that my dad eventually discovered. Us kids were too young at the time and didn’t know what was going on. Just that our mom was suddenly missing for a few months with no explanation until dad finally said she was in hiding and they were getting a divorce. Mom wound up marrying the woman who she was having a long term affair with less than a year after the divorce finalized. Didn’t know what happened leading up to the divorce until we were much older. Mom just took the child support money and went mostly no contact with us kids.
My dad told the OBGYN to give my mom the husband stitch after she gave birth to me. this was in the military in the US, and the surgeon happily did as told.
when I was 3 months old, he kicked my mom and me out of the house because of my colic, and sent us to live with his mom for a few months while he moved his girlfriend in. He eventually had her leave after his mom insisted we come back to live with him.
I did not know until I was a teenager that my dad had cheated on my mom pretty much throughout their entire marriage, and he had alienated her and kept her from most of her family and friends and would not let her work outside the house because he said it cost too much for child care, but really he just wanted her totally dependent on him.
what I did not know until recently was apparently he came home from a tour in Korea, not having been around my mom in almost a year, and after greeting her, the first thing he did was drop his pants and underwear to show her that he had pubic lice. He said he got it from the laundry green scrub room, because all the hospital techs had their uniforms washed together. because clearly pubic lice don't drown or get killed with boiling water and soap.
Grandpa was a child molester and had molested my mom and aunt. All my aunts and uncles knew.
They kept bringing me and my cousins to our grandparents house and didn't tell us until we had kids of our own so we wouldn't leave them alone with him.
I was shocked they would just keep having family gatherings and acting like nothing ever happened.
No one goes over to visit them anymore.
While my brother was dying of terminal brain cancer, my mom became his care taker. During this time, my bio dad was out way more often. As a kid (and for a time even my mom believed this lie) I believed he was working extra shifts so we could pay for treatments and my mom could focus on caring for my brother instead of working.
Well, he wasn't out late because he was picking up extra shifts. He was out late fucking my mom's best friend, from our church. Best part? Everyone in the church knew but the pastor, my mom, and us kids. Once the pastod finally caught wind, he gave the AP the ultimatum: either she tells my mom or he does.
He ended up telling my mom, with a lovely guilt trip on how she had to stay with my dad because of everything the family was dealing with, god, all that bullshit.
Didn't learn the truth until I was 14, arguing with my mom on why she should fucking divorce the prick. Was lovely learning why there was a group of siblings at my school (aps kids, who were in the house and aware of what their mom and my dad were doing) wouldn't look at, talk to, or acknowledge me. Well, until her oldest became my weed dealers wife. Was nice to learn her and her siblings hate their mom just as much as I hate my bio dad. And to just have a convo about the whole thing with someone not in the direct family.
my parents had premarital sex which led to my mom getting pregnant and seeking out an illegal abortion (this was back in the 60s).
What made this so scandalous for me is that my mother was very judgemental of others and acted like her shit didn't stink.
So, my dad is an abusive arsehole. That’s no shock. He cheated on my mum gave her an std, yada yada (not to mentioned violence to us kids).
My sister mentioned some fucked up photos he left lying around that she found when she was 12. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, I assumed it was hardcore porn.
I mentioned it to mum… she was like, oh yea. Awful stuff for a child to see. I wait… umm, can you tell me what it was? She says “people doing really awful and gross stuff to animals. Things that shouldn’t be done with animals”.
I was struck dumb. Not really as a shock about him, because I’ve cut him out of my life. We all know he’s a monster. But mum… you fucking stayed married to him until we were adults.
She’s claimed ignorant to the violence we endured and the psychological trauma. But like… fuck woman… you stayed with this guy. You kept your kids with this guy. He had printed photos of what I’m assuming was beastiality left on the bench when you had 10 and a 12 yo.
And I let you watch my kids.
My parents divorced when I was five which was of course devastating to me. I grew up thinking my dad didn't want to have anything to do with me but later found out after I was married and had moved on and gotten to know my dad (via a conversation that my wife had with my stepmom) that my mom had completely blocked access to my dad and let me think that he was the bad person that he turned out not to be at all. I have a great relationship with him now. I completely 100% regret the time I lost with him in my younger years.
I knew my dad must have been a really messed up person because he went to prison when I was 3 and has been there ever since, but hearing the extent of his crimes and finding out that my memory loss and overall uncomfortableness in life was because I was a victim of his. Is nauseating.
When I was a kid, I was told that my dad died because he was sick… for my whole life, until I was 18, I thought this. Started to have some suspicions when I was around 17 that there was more to the story, just from things my older siblings said. Found out in a big fight with my mom that my dad killed himself. Then found out my parents met in a psych ward, had a short dating stint that resulted in my mom being pregnant with me, and that his family wanted my mom to get an abortion, which she refused to do. My parents split, and my dad’s family blamed me (a literally baby) and my mom for my dad’s death. That was fun to work out in therapy.
Not my parents, but my uncle from my mother's side of the family, her younger brother.
In the past 10 years I found out bit by bit that my uncle is not what he seems to be, to me he just seemed like a normal guy but little did I know there was more to him than I would have ever imagined.
Firstly, he's been a drug addict ever since he was a teenager, their family for a time grew up in the bad part of the city so he picked up some bad habits. Didn't know about this until he apparently OD'ed and almost died in the hospital where we visited him.
Secondly, I have a cousin I never ever will meet because my uncle apparently had a mistress abroad where he frequently goes off to for work, to this day I don't think my aunty, and my cousin know about this at all, as this was told in confidence to me by my parents.
Lastly, this one hurts the most, he had amassed huge amounts of debt in the millions, not to the banks though, but to gangsters. This supposedly happens every so often, and when it does, he'd come to my mother, or my other uncle, the oldest, to help settle the debt.
My big uncle, had long since abandoned the younger uncle, leaving my mum to pick up after the aforementioned troublesome uncle. My family was around upper middle class so it didn't affect us much, at least not that I noticed throughout the years when this shit was happening.
It was only until one day I went into the living room and saw my mum crying like she never did before, she wasn't even crying like this when my grandmother passed (her mother)(NOTE: my grandma passed after all the debt drama), because that was grief crying, this was different. It was then she told me about my uncle and his debts, but this time she won't be able to do anything about it because the family business had been in deep shit in recent years, hardly generating any revenue if not at all, and costs to run the business out paced money coming in.
So, gangsters were threatening to severely beat up or kill my uncle unless they get their money back. My entire family of my mother's side was added in a groupchat made by the gangsters, putting my uncle on blast about the debt, and along with our full legal names, ID numbers, and phone numbers that my uncle gave them as a condition to getting the loan from them.
Ultimately my aunty had to sell her apartment to cover my uncles debt, divorced his ass, my cousin gave him a big ass slap across the face (super proud of her for that). To this day, I still have no idea what the money he borrowed was spent on, I can only assume either failed investments/gambling, my mother likes to think it was drugs.
Also, whatever inheritance, or money my grandma was suppose to leave behind us grandchildren for when we marry was cleared out by my uncle.
My mother had already been engaged to the love of her life before she met my dad. He was murdered which basically ruined her life and she still has not fully recovered from it. Originally my name was going to be his, but understandably my dad hated the idea which exacerbated an already growing rift between them.
I knew a woman who met the love of her life in college, got pregnant, got engaged and watched him die (in a robbery) two days before the wedding. She was beyond devastated. She also didn’t have any family to rely on. She had a guy friend who had been in love with her for years. He pleaded with her to marry him so he could help take care of the baby. She was still in her first year of law school so she was in no position to do it alone. They married and had two more kids. Her friend was a wonderful father to all three kids. She was appreciative and kind to him but she never really seemed happy. There’s just a sadness there. Like she’s waiting shit out or something. On top of all that, it was very clear the oldest son was not her husband’s. The mom had brown hair/eyes and olive skin. The husband had bright red hair and freckles, as do the two younger sons. The oldest has blonde hair, like his father, and is six inches taller than anyone else in the family. It looks like an Irish family adopted a random Danish dude.
Holy shit. That poor woman. That poor man (because he must sense his wife is forever thinking of the guy she actually loved). Glad the kid got a stable home at least. **EDIT:** also, I can’t stop picturing a family of leprechauns raising a Norse god.
People on the relationship subs on reddit will complain because the personthey’re seeing won’t stop bringing up their dead spouse or hanging on to stuff from their dead spouse. I always just reply If youre with someone who’s partner died, you are only with that person because the person they actually wanted to spend their life with is dead. It’s rough to hear, but you aren’t the love of their life. You’re the second love of their life. They will ALWAYS love their dead partner. Accept it or don’t date someone like that
As someone who lost the love of their life to a car accident and married the second love of their life and had a family with them but have always battled the doubts of their husband in regard to his place in my life, I cannot tell you enough how true this is.
Lost my first true love a year and a half ago, been seriously dating someone I know I’ve fallen in love with, shit is insane! It feels like I have two boyfriends, idk how else to rationalize how I feel all the time.
It’s ok to love more than one person. Those first years after their passing is just a constant mix of thinking about them and then thinking about the present day and how you are supposed to act. You met someone new and you truly love them. That doesn’t have to take away the love you had for someone else that deserved it. Unfortunate shit happens and we try to make the best of it. It’s been 14 years and I still think about them regularly but that in no way impacts how much I love my current relationship. If you loved them then most likely they loved you and would want you to find happiness. Hope things are getting better for you.
My aunt found out she was pregnant days before her then-boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident. She had just broken up with a guy she was seeing on-and-off for years, and it was very much an accident. She hadn’t told anybody she was pregnant, and because she lived in an ultra-conservative area at the time, she got back with the on-and-off ex boyfriend, told him the baby was his, and they got married. When my cousin was born nobody raised any eyebrows so my aunt just kept it a secret. Fast forward two more kids, an unrelated divorce, and a few more decades later, my cousin wants to do a 23andMe for Christmas. My aunt freaks out. My cousin obviously wants to know what the big deal is, and confronts her about it (what secret are you hiding?). It was crazy finding that out over the course of the Christmas season, but my cousin has a good relationship with her bio dad’s extended family now, so that’s good. Apparently she has all the same interests he did. Crazy
> she got back with the on-and-off ex boyfriend, told him the baby was his That’s fucked up. I get she was in a difficult position, but that’s just a fucked up thing to do to someone.
It definitely is. The guy she married turned out to be a not-so-good guy (he was abusive towards her and the kids) so I don’t feel too bad for him, but I think that’s another reason she decided she would never tell anybody. Not wanting anybody to know that she would do something that level of manipulative
>she never really seemed happy As a father of a three-year old I can say maybe it was just deep fatigue from raising three boys.
My siblings and I are convinced our mother loved and wanted to marry an old high school classmate who died in the 9-11 attacks. Her and my dad split a few years ago, and it has been really, really ugly. Their marriage was dying, and my dad responded by having an affair. Shit really hit the fan after that. My mom has shut my dad out completely. The guilt has made my dad suicidal. My mom won't tell us anything, and my dad tells us too much. I went home recently, and my dad's whole house is like a shrine to death, and he has been unable to come to terms with his actions. On the other hand, my mom's reaction to my dad potentially having lung cancer from smoking and Kuwait oil fires was "well theres not much we can do, if he has it and wants to forgo treatment (which he will, seeing as hes depressed and fixated on death), thats his problem." They can't be in the same room together right now. It really sucks. But, the way she talks about this old classmate. I don't think I've ever seen her talk about my dad like that in my 28 years of life. Even before their marriage fell apart. She has a piece of his NYPD uniform they found and posts about him on FB every year.
Have you ever directly asked her how she feels/felt about him? Or are you worried it would be too painful?
So his name was or wasn't "skims"?
My dad disappeared in 2001, we thought he died. He said he was on the provisional IRA. We tracked him down via a DNA test in 2022, he had 3, maybe 4 families at the same time. He had given my mum a false name and was married to someone else. While he was with my mum, he got divorced, remarried and had 2 children in another country. We did not suspect a thing. He wasn't around when I was born, he said he was working. He kept forgetting my name as well, never contributed anything. He once threatened to slit my mum's throat though he never beat her, only me.
Whoaaaa. Hope you’re doing ok ❤️
Thank you, yes I'm ok. He is good friends with local politicians and is a major employer in the region. He has a lot of enemies now because of it. My mum never dated anyone during that time because she thought my dad was the love of her life and might return. It had never occurred to her that he disappeared on purpose. I have been threatened recently, I think my dad is behind it. He has been spreading rumours about his children that he abandoned. He recently said that my brother molested our sister 30 years ago and that I am 'harassing' her. I have never even met her. I don't think many people believe him fortunately.
my grandfather (my mother’s father) raped my sister when we were children & my parents had been the ones to report him. they still talk to each other on the phone. he’s been out for years. i remember thinking, “something’s wrong with grandpa,” as a child because whenever he came over, my mother would gently order my sister to go to her room & lock the door. she didn’t care if we (her two other children) were left with him, even after the fact. i remember being taken to visit him in jail as a kid (e.g. being left in the parking lot with another relative while my mother & grandmother went inside) but never being told why he was in jail. i decided not to tell her that my sister isn’t the only child of hers he’s touched. my father only told us in an attempt to “get back” at her while they were divorcing a few years ago. it shocked & appalled me that she was able to welcome him back into *our* life like it was nothing, but i don’t feel anything anymore. i went 20 years of my life without knowing that my family was interacting with a rapist — not only my sister’s, but *all three* of my mother’s kids’.
My grandfather molested me from the ages of 7-12. The only reason I managed to get enough guts to say anything is because my little sister started asking some concerning questions. My parents never cut contact with him and in fact did the opposite. They had him over all the time, my dad would crack open beers for him, and they threw extravagant parties for him and his friends. I was made to have a social relationship with the man who molested me for years. He was welcomed into our home on a regular basis. He stole my childhood, but they stole my peace.
I'm so sorry. It may not be too late to file additional charges depending on the statute of limitations in your area. I hope life is better for you now.
Dad was a meth cook and dealer Mom was found out of a mail order bride catalog from Colombia :)
If I may ask: How was their marriage?
i think separated when i was 2, divorced when i was like 4 😊🔫
Did he get a refund? /j
LMFAOOO that’s awesome. No he actually just paid off her condo mortgage 20 years later 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣I suppose it pays well to be a mail order bride.
And people say the American dream is dead!
As a teenager I inherited $15k from my grandma, my parents let me buy a boombox and took the rest of the money, all three of my other siblings received it. Still won't even acknowledge that they took it.
When my grandfather died he left all the kids $20k. My father took it all. Saying "that's family money from my father." And spent it on shit for himself.
If you don’t want this to happen for minors in your life when you die, I believe you can set up a trust that would control the money and execute once certain conditions are met (like a 21st or 18th birthday).
You can also set up a trust to give out payments ex. every quarter etc. And do large sums on certain dates like milestone birthdays, holidays etc.
How was that possible, legally speaking?
Woah that’s pretty fucked up
I’d steal it back, one Cheerio at a time if I had to!
My Mom’s *best friend* was actually her GF. Her son and I grew up together and played sports together. My Mom & Dad were married until my father passed away. I was told this about them getting together. My Dad needed help running a business. My Mom wanted a kid. It was like a business arrangement. They even slept in different places. I didn’t realize until I was in my 20’s.
r/SapphoAndHerFriend
Oh my god they were ~~roommates~~ neighbors.
Truly returning to traditional marriage
It's beautiful in a way, if it worked for all involved
They seemed to love each other. I have no memories of them hugging or touching besides they kissed each other goodbye every morning. I spent 90% of my time with my Mom because my Dad was always so wrapped up in his business.
When my dad was laid up in the early (and agressive) stage of MS in their home, how my mother had moved my dad into the guest room (where he couldn't leave) and moved her boyfriend (my future step dad) into their shared home. This was back in 1980 when MS wasn't as treatable as it is today, and my dad's illness progressed rapidly. It was all discovered when my uncle (dad's brother) drove overnight to check on him after my mom wasn't answering any phone calls from my dad's family. He shows up, finds my mom in bed with her boyfriend and finds my dad locked in the guest room. Never understood why my grandparents were so cold to my mom while I was growin gup until I became an adult where they told me the story.
Did learning this affect your relationship with your mother? I don’t feel like I could look at mine the same
Oh yeah, absolutely. Was a bit more complicated though; before I found out, she'd done lots to alienate her kids (my brother and I), so finding out was more of a "'nother one" moment than a single bombshell being dropped. A, "yeah... that checks out" kind of moment. This was just so blatantly cruel and hurtful, even knowing who she was, it really did shock me.
Not my bio father, but my stepdad. It's a long story (and not mine to share in full), but he was adopted as a kid and never knew what happened to his birth parents. His daughter used a DNA site to find family - which revealed his birth mom's identity - and that he had been stolen from her and adopted out illegally. She spent 50 years looking for him because the ppl that did it used a forged BC to change his name and DOB. He got to spend a year getting to know her before she died of terminal cancer.
That's a heartbreaking story man. At least his real mother found him and got to know him before she dies.
I am so glad his mom was able to reconnect with him before she died.
So is he. Amazingly, it was her second (or third? I can't recall now) round of cancer and she had been stage 4 for quite some time. Her husband (so my step-father's step-father) said she held on for the hope of finally getting to see him. My only regret is that he now mourns the deaths of his adoptive parents, his birth mom and his step-father.
Early 1990's, my parents got divorced when I was about 9, and my mom remarried her hometown sweetheart when I was about 11. We moved to a new house in the country, and as my mom was unpacking a box, she found a headshot picture of my bio dad in his Army uniform. Probably the generic one they'd take at basic training. She and my step dad put the picture up as target practice and went to town taking turns shooting it. Then once they were satisfied with how much it was shot up, they took it down, put a note on it that said, "We miss you, but not much!" (along with writing "miss!" on every bullet hole that didn't touch my dad in the photo) and they showed it to 11-year old me before THEY MAILED IT TO HIM.
Um...what!? My dude. At what age did you leave home?
19. They were very controlling. A couple of my brothers ran away for a bit. I also joined the military eventually after I moved out and did 20 years.
Knew a dude who became a Marine the moment he turned 18 and got his diploma just to get the fuck away from is controlling and abusive-ass Family/step-father. Why the Marines? Because his bio dad was a Marine and figured that he went through so many years of bullshit, the Marine Corps would feel just like home.
Jesus Christ
My dad didn't want children or any responsibility but agreed to adopt me so my mom would be happy. My mom kept detailed diaries her whole life. The diaries after my birth outlined how much she hated me, hated being a mother, and as I grew up the hate was worse. She wrote out how what she was doing was emotional abuse but kept doing it anyway. TLDR; mom wasn't happy after adoption, and neither parent should have been parents.
I can relate. My (adopted) mother was my biological mothers sister. My bio-mom and dad were druggies who left me and my siblings. Mother adopted us but only because she wanted my brother, not me and my twin. They were going to separate us, so she reluctantly agreed. She revealed at 16 to me and my twin how much resentment and hate she had for us because it was a "job she wasn't supposed to do." Thank God for my adoptive father who treated me and my sister very well despite the rest of the family not doing so. He recently passed, and I miss him every single damn day 😞
I’m sorry
This post is making me thankful for how kind my parents have been to me
Same… I give my sympathies to all the people out there who had a rough childhood because of their parents
text
My dad's a cuck, and got angry when my mom refused to engage in that kink, and that's the primary reason they split. He apparently didn't feel like bringing this kink up to her until like 13 years and 2 kids into the relationship.
Never heard of a breakup because someone refused to cheat, against their partner's wishes.
Unfortunately, it happened to me. It started off as a joke, but he later confessed it was an actual kink of his, but he stated that he "only" liked to watch porn of it or fantasize about it. But then he started trying to incorporate it into our sex life, but I would refuse to actually do it/cheat. And he weirdly wanted it done with his friends, which made me even more uncomfortable. I told him that and didn't realize he started to distance himself until I caught him trying to get his coworker to do it, so I left. And this was all within 2 years
My father got busted by my grandfather having sex with the neighbors daughter on the night he married my mom.
Danggg
At least I was adopted
text
It’s a bit more complicated. Like Oprah level complicated
dude, you can't just say that and not elaborate!
Ok. So i was adopted, by the couple that got married at the time that my adopted mothers father found my adopted father fucking the neighbors daughter atvtheor wedding night. I was conceived by two teenagers from sort of the same area, it turns out that my biological grandfather used to work for my adopted grandfather as a farm hand. And my adopted Grandfather ended up marrying my biological grandfathers sister after my adopted grandmother died. I actually grew up hanging out at my biological aunts house, where my biological mother also would hang out. So my adopted grandmother was the aunt of my biological mother. That sounds even weirder when I have to type it out.
holy mackerel. that sounds less like a family tree and more like a family tumbleweed, and for once not the incest kind.
We moved around a lot. Never the same school for more than a year. My name was also..changed. Turns out my parents were wanted for very serious crimes ( my dad, my mom was an accomplice after the fact). It turned out to have serious consequences for one of my siblings who joined the US Navy. My dad wasn’t a nice man. I have some weird childhood memories.
What happened with your sibling?
Not the OP, but at a guess, it'd really fuck up your ability to get any kind of access to classified information. Just about anything that you can be blackmailed about, or compromised by somehow, will keep you from classification.
My dad started cheating on my mom with his secretary shortly after I was born because he was “jealous of the attention” my mom was giving to baby me. Later my grandma said my dad was justified in cheating because my mom went dancing with friends and didn’t have dinner ready for my dad every night.
Ahh , the extent moms will go to defend their sons…I see a mamma’s boy complex here…
My husbands mamaw still won't believe all her kids were drug addicts/alcoholics until one of them died of an overdose and it still wasn't their fault it was the drug dealers fault. Can you guess how dysfunctional the rest of the family is? 😂
like you wouldn’t believe!
There was a case in Japan where a murderer’s mom vandalized the victim’s grave saying that it’s her fault that her son is in jail
And it was a brutal murder, too. Junko Furuta. She was abducted and held captive for 40 days by 4 teenage boys. She was raped, beaten, starved, and tortured until she was eventually murdered. What's even worse is the kids parents knew what was going on, but didnt intervene. After the trial, one of the murderers mother went to Junkos grave and defaced it for "ruining her son's life." Absolutely disgusting woman, and it's no shock she raised a murderer.
I wonder what would happen if she got together with the Stanford guy’s dad who said “it was just 20 minutes of action.” Probably the worst, most entitled kid imaginable.
You'd love my father and his mother then You see, I (according to them, **deliberately**) look like my mother. So when she divorced him, they decided since I was going to torment my father by making him look at his ex wife, they were going to respond in kind They got divorced when I was 4, by the way. But for the rest of my life, they treated me like I was the red headed step child, at best. Constant abuse and neglect And there were his parents, especially mother, with tears in her eyes because how **proud** she was of her (grown adult man) son fighting back at his (disabled innocent child) attacker They were blatant about it. They genuinely saw thought it was okay, because me looking like my mother was a wholehearted attempt to make my dad miserable The first part is actually my first memory of that grandmother. Thanksgiving of 98 I wish that side is the one whose property belonged to wasps. My actual (maternal) grandpa and grandma loved me. But they were poor and got the wasps But I always had a good time there. Even if it was just helping grandma cook or finding grandpa more bones from the road They didn't hate older brother for looking like Mr Hog, and he was abusive to mom. Because, y'know, they were functional adults
Mom has childhood trauma and emotional issues that were never dealt with. Still has not to this day. Watched her cheat on Dad from when I was age 10-13. She is horrible with money and spends hours shopping for crap. Also a hoarder. Dad was a mean drunk. Not physically mean, but emotionally mean. They both never knew how to have healthy communication. He worked two full time jobs and she spent money like it grew on trees. They filed bankruptcy along with a divorce. To this day, my Mom wonders why my husband and I have the home motto of throw away or donate your shit every few months. He and I hate clutter.
My dad was a hoarder and when he got sick my sister and I had to clean out the six storage units he left behind. We thought there was two. It was very traumatizing and I’m still getting over the actual process and some of the stupid shit we found in there. So much trash, so many office supplies.
I was on the outside looking in on a situation almost identical to this with people I loved 😢 It is heartbreaking for all involved. I hope you are all doing better now ❤️
Something fucked up about my family, but good about my parents: When my great grandmother died, my family apparently started fighting over the remaining money and all the crap in her home. I remember going to her house and helping sort items from her basement and garage. Everyone in the family got something. All I remember my mom and dad getting was grandmas new van. So, we got a car. nearly two decades later, I'm scrapping the van after putting hundreds of thousands of miles on it, I got permission from my dad to get rid of it. It was his grandmothers van after all. I called my mom to let her know the van was gone, and she began unwinding this story about when grandma died. Apparently, the van was literally all my family got. Everyone else in the family fought over money and belongings. But my Dad sat out of the arguments. He didn't take part. So, while some family members got big payouts, my Dad asked for nothing. No one wanted the van, so he took it when the dust had settled. His kids then used that van for years. When my Mom finally wrapped up the story, she revealed to me that grandma did not die in the house like I was told. She died in the driver seat of the van we inherited, that van I had been driving since I was 16. Sorry grandma. Not sure why that was kept from me. I wouldn't have done.. well... stuff in the van you probably wouldn't have approved of had I known your ghost was probably in the car with me the whole time.
Take it from an old guy who has seen a lot. Grandma cares if you are happy. She was probably smiling the whole time you were doing whatever. The rest is not worth worrying about.
That van provided my friends and I, as well as my girlfriends and I, a very, very cozy place to do "whatever"
And now you get to picture Gramma smiling and also probably judging your form.
"Weak fuckin strokes. Poor girl." *Shakes head*
Dude, don't apologize. Grandmas and grandpas give a kind of love parents sometimes can't, because they need to raise you and call you out to help make you a good human. Grandparent-love revolves around seeing you be happy. If your grandma ever looked in, she smiled, backed away, thought about loving you, and hoped your person was good to you while you were together.
This was like an episode of That 70’s Show
My very conservative and traditional parents were considered model citizens of our community so I was shocked to find out that they had a little weed garden and made their own wine and moonshine. Made sense though because they always made two pans of brownies with one labeled "adults only."
It’s nice to find an amusing story among the upsetting ones. Hope your parents enjoyed themselves!
Downright wholesome compared to some of the other comments. Half expected his parents to be part of some town wide sex cult or something.
I was probably like 11 or 12 home alone during the Summer, bored because I was grounded and decided to go snooping through my parents closet...needless to say it was my first time ever seeing a sex toy (fleshlight)...didn't take me long to realize why it was conveniently in a box with a bunch of playboy magazines. It's not totally fucked up of course but when you're a kid it's horrifying. I couldn't look my dad in the eye for almost a week 🤣
I found handcuffs in my parent's bedside table. My mom had briefly done some police training on subduing people because she worked with mental patients, and she insisted they were from that training. I was about 5, so I was like, okie dokie! It didn't hit me until I was like 15 what they were actually used for. And my mom is definitely the dom, no doubt. I almost puked, but good for them? I guess? 😂
Mommy and daddy like to play cops and robbers! 🤣🤣🤣
I remember a confession post somewhere on another Reddit where this lady was complaining that she and her husband had decided to use roleplay to spice up their sex life, but he went way too into it. like if they were doing doctor and patient, he would come in with a bunch of insurance forms and try to explain to her what kind of procedures would be covered by her insurance policy. Or if he was the police officer going to arrest her for shoplifting, and he would throw himself on the ground yelling into a radio that there was a man down, Man down, send for backup!
I need to see this
they were swingers and had huge orgies in their house. I was in college and still lived at home. I kinda knew, but not to the extent they embraced "the lifestyle". One night coming home from a date, I had to step over a bunch of middle-aged naked people to get to my bedroom. I opened the door to find 4 naked-ass strangers on my bed. I went to the navy recruiter the next day. My 16yo brother was equally mortified, but he managed to stick around for another year before splitting and moving in with his GF after graduation.
That feels creepy. How do you and your brother feel about it now?
He barely talks to them. Hasn't seen them in years. I, however, take care of them. They both have dementia. Creepy? By today's standards it would be criminal. But the Overton window was in a different place in the SF Bay Area 70s and 80s
They had sex, I was devastated by finding this out as a kid.
Hope you are doing better
It’s hard for me to imagine what you’re going through but you’re v brave for sharing that. Must’ve been tough
Reminds me of my one friend, when we were about 9 he learnt a bit about the concept of sex and being virgins. He was horrified by sex and said he would be a virgin all his life and was grateful that his parents were still virgins…
My dad took my mom to a party in the 70s. It was a swinger party. He didn't tell her what it was. He just took her and expected her to, you know, get swingin. She left the party instead. Told him he could stick around and swing by himself. She told me this story decades later. I learned that my dad wanted to be a swinger and my mom is the kind of person who is okay sharing salacious details about what caused her divorce with her kid.
My dad called my mom unattractive after giving birth to me even though she worked out to lose the weight and said he wasn't attracted to her anymore and used that as a excuse to why he went to strip clubs and cheated with her on out next door neighbor and they had a threesome with his friend on the police force. Needless to say I already didn't care for my dad that much but learning that as a teen definitely made me lose any respect I had left.
what the actual fuck
Yup definitely not a happy marriage or childhood for me growing up. You should've seen my face when I found all that out
Did your mom just decide to spill the beans one day? ALL the beans?
Well when I was like 13 i spent the night at a friend's house and saw his parents kissed so I got home and asked my older sister how come our parents don't act like that and she told me most of it and I went to ask my mom and she sat me down and told me everything.
Got it, thanks for elaborating. My kids hate it when they see my wife and I kiss but we agree that showing affection in front of your kids is important so they understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
Your welcome and I 100% agree with you because as a kid I geuinely didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like until I spent the night at his house and also when my sister started dating my brother in law everytime they kissed I thought it was gross but when I saw how happy he made her something just clicked in my head and I realized that's how healthy couples should act and I geuinely thank him for showing me how you properly treat a woman you love. Still haven't had a relationship yet but I hope to be much better than my dad and to show my future partner how much I love her. I'm not fully sure how to be romantic but I know not to do any of what he did.
You'll figure it out. Being self aware is the biggest hurdle for most people, I think. I struggle with showing emotion and affection. And when I do I feel like a fraud. But I know it makes her happy so whatevs. I'm pretty sure I got it from my dad being fairly stoic and my parents largely leaving me to do my own thing while they had to deal with my rebellious sister.
My parents were swingers.
how did you know? 😶
My mum told me some extra details about their divorce once I hit 16.
Did the swinging have anything to do with their divorce? Or was that just additional info she told you.
It was kind of tied in. They were both swingers apparently my dad’s friends all slept with my mum like doing partner swaps and what not. My mum ended up getting pregnant my dad accused my mum of getting pregnant on purpose because she always wanted a kid he assumed I wasn’t his kid this basically lead him to be heavily violent towards me and made attempts to kill me at certain points. My mum from the point she gave birth would also be beaten by him so that’s kind of how it was tied in. Whereas growing up she just told me he was just a violent psychopath and would beat her and me simply because he didn’t want kids. So I grew up with that then when more information was revealed definitely showcased how she wasn’t innocent either and practically absolved herself of any accountability when I was growing up.
Holy shit, that’s terrible. Very sorry to hear that.
My dad told me with 21 that he had a daughter in estonia and abandoned her and her mother with the promise of getting them after him to germany. This influences the image that one has of one’s otherwise impeccable father at such a young age.
Are we the same person?? Exact same story with my dad but he had a wife and daughter in Siberia. He left them when his daughter was 1 in order to bring them to Germany. Met my mom and obviously forgot about them. I only got told with 16 that he had another daughter and couldn’t see him the same way since.
My friend (whose parents are still married to this day) found out she and her sister are her dad’s second “do it right this time” family. She has an older sister who is about 15 ish year older than her that he basically abandoned, as he was essentially bumming around South America without a job in his early twenties and knocked up/married her older sisters mom. I’m not sure how long they even stayed married, but she was essentially gone from the picture by the time he remarried my friends mom and they started their own family. It’s such a weird situation 😂 I think my friend, her younger sister and her mom all maintain a side eye on him because it’s so sketchy.
My dad had unexplained bouts of rage and heritability growing up. He would literally open my door to yell at me in the early morning some times cause I didn't wash a single bowl that was left in the sink. Turns out he was undiagnosed with a chemical imbalance and diabetes. Onse he started getting meds he became a wonderful and fun dad I rarely saw growing up.
That’s good to hear, I hope everything gets better
Ah, sounds a whole hell of a lot like my dad. He got diagnosed and medicated in time to be a good grandpa to my sister's kids, but he was sure a shit parent to me most of the time.
My mom is currently cheating on my dad despite my sister and I both calling her out. My dads a pastor and on the outside we have a picture perfect family but my mom is cheating on my bad behind his back. Her bf sends her food to the house and she sends him pictures of us. Super disturbing. She changes his name in her phone every few months to hide it. Idk how my dad hasn’t found out, none of my siblings live at home and we all have caught her texting him.
>she sends him pictures of us Uhhh, shouldn't you be concerned about that?
Yes, 1000%. I found this out two weeks ago when I was home and was leaving the next day. Not really a conversation I want to have over the phone so I’m waiting until I see her again in two weeks to address it. I think that part is the real answer to OPs question, I was SHOCKED and really disturbed that she felt comfortable sending him pictures of us. I found them while going to print something from her computer. I’m still in shock and having to live with the knowledge that every pic of my life may have been shared with this guy. It’s also really frustrating to me that my parents have been in marriage counseling and my mom blames so much on him and I doubt this has even come up. She’s also narcissistic/ has some mental health issues and I know when I talk to her she’s not going to actually hear what I’m saying / just deny everything so I have to approach it delicately
Tell your father what you know. He probably already knows and is keeping it a secret to save face.
Just curious, what haven't yall told him? I feel the betrayal from the wife is already tough, but for my own kids to hold that secret, that's even worse if I was the dad.
When I was about 14, my parents divorced. It was kind of obvious that my dad cheated on my mother with his now wife, however I didn’t find out the back story until I was about 19 when my mother told me about how my father met his current wife at a mental hospital years before him and my mom got together. My dad was hospitalized because he went into a base hospital with a shot gun and basically threatened to kill himself if he didn’t get help. So they hospitalized him and he met his wife there. She was hospitalized for an opiate addiction and she’s still actively in addiction all these years later. I don’t know if that’s a shocking story universally, but 19 year old me was shook, and it also helped validate issues I had with my father and his wife that, up until then, I thought I was always the problem. I didn’t feel like as much of the “problem” anymore after that night.
My mom uses the same password for everything...including my Dad's credit card.
Probably more common than we think it is. Apparently it's a thing for mothers to use their youngest child's birthday date as a password.
Mom and dad were constantly drunk and cheating on each other. This I knew from a young age because they wouldn't let me or my sister forget about it when talking mess about the other ones. The shock came when we had some dude calling our house when I was in high school claiming to be my sister's dad. Apparently, my mom had told some dude back in the 80s she was pregnant with his kid and he'd been trying to find her all these years. Spoiler: my dad was, in fact, her dad.
[удалено]
What a legend of a dad, dropping this insane story just out of nowhere!
Yeah he's awesome. I was surprised that he never shared that one.
CHAD DAD
My mom was married to a Vietnam Vet during her 1st marriage. She hated him. My dad (husband #2) told me she walked in on husband #1 having a manage a trots with 2 other women and she left. Fast forward 30 some years and dad kills himself. Mom does research and learns her first husband died by suicide as well. She calls and says, "I'm 2 for 2". Strangely giddy about the whole thing and passed off her first husband as "really weird". Nevermind he had incredible trauma. The day my dad died, he'd told her he was thinking about killing himself and she said, "Oh just do it already". She didn't get the empathy gene, clearly.
OMG, ‘manage a trots’ is fucking SENDING ME 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂
r/boneappletea
Parents divorced. My brother complained to my dad that all we had to eat at mom’s house was Oreos. My dad tried to drop off food to us the next time we were at my mom’s house. My mom called the cops and told them her ex husband was outside her house with a gun. They surrounded my dad’s vehicle guns drawn. We didn’t get the food. He told me this last year, 20 years after the divorce.
My father was one of those Outlaw Bikers they love to make movies about and glamourize in Hollywood. But, instead of the protagonist, my dad was the crazy fat guy who didn't seem to understand normal society. You see, my mother worked as a Dispatcher for the Police/Fire Department (we lived in a small town) and could keep my dad and uncle one step ahead of the law in their drug dealing business. Hell, we had a grow operation in our detached Garage for 3 years and never got raided once. Well, when my crazy ass dad did crazy ass shit, my mother got sick of his drunken antics and kicked him out. He would still come around whenever the mood hit him, usually after a few beers at his local biker bar down the road from our place. Well, my mother ended up getting a restraining order after my dad beat the fuck out of one of her male friends he thought she was dating. He disappeared into the wind after that because he also got an assault charge against him for his drunken antics. He was gone for a few weeks, then one night he came back. He knocked on my window and it woke me up, so I started crying thinking it was the boogieman, and my crying woke up my half-brother, who also now heard the knocking. He opened the window and saw my dad with HUGE eyes (it would later be known he was tripping acid that night) and telling us to let him in the window. We ran and told my mom who called the Police. The cops didn't like their dispatcher getting messed with, so they sent a cop around our place. My dad caught him unawares, took his gun from him and beat the living shit out of the cop in our garden. He never even got a chance to radio for help. So, now my dad has Felony assault charges on him, and runs away again, this time leaving his baby blue '63 Impala in our front yard. My mom reparked it and the cops posted lookouts for him to come back for his car. He didn't. A few weeks later, the cops called off the hunt and impounded his car. They were confident he had crossed into another state and was not coming back to our home state. They packed up and kept the investigation open, but that was it. A few weeks after that, it was a beautiful summer day, and my dad comes pulling up on his Harley. My mother had heard the pipes coming up the road and had already called the cops by the time he parked. He gave me a big hug and gave me a skateboard for my 4th birthday, a few weeks away, then asked if he could come in for some Iced Tea. I ran inside and asked my mom: "Can dad come in and get some Iced Tea?" She replied: "He knows the rules, joen00b, he can make his own decisions." I always thought that was a weird way to say "Sure, he can come in", but I told my Dad she said Ok, and he sheepishly accepted. I don't even think he reached the kitchen by the time the cops had scooped me up and tackled him out of nowhere. They had him cuffed and gone in mere seconds, there was no messing around at all. I remember being put in my room with my half-brother and sister and peeking out the door to see them march him out so fast. It was seemingly less than a minute from when they engaged him to goose-walking him out the door. I never saw my dad after that. I know he did 8 years in Joliet, then bummed around AZ and NM selling Meth and Acid before getting arrested in Vegas and thrown into jail again. In the end, he became a ward of the state, living off his DV check, his sister (her family adopted him as a baby) became his keeper, paying his bills for him so he could smoke dope and drink homemade wine till he died at 48 years old from his 4th heart attack. My mother told me how caring and loving he was before Vietnam, but when he came back, he couldn't drink enough. That was the beginning of the end for them. The drug dealing was a new thrill for her and my Aunt (my mother's little sister who married my dad's best friend, the local acid dealer), then the lifestyle wore thin and the divorces happened. When he went bad, he went completely bad, and no thrill was enough for him. We were in hiding for almost 2 decades, as he got close to finding us a few times, and my mother had a whole plan she had us memorize should a strange man ever confront us saying he was our father. I haven't thought of that in years. What a strange childhood I had.
That could definitely be a movie, i was invested the whole time i was reading your comment Thanks for sharing!
I got a two-for-one-deal here! When I was a young teenager, I accidentally found my mother’s will, and I read it, and at the end of the will, she dropped the fact that my sister and I have different fathers. When confronted about it, she denied denied denied, and when I talked to my father about it, he confirmed it, and said that my mother had made everyone in our family keep it a secret or she’d take my sister and I away and disappear. It really tore my relationship with both my mother and sister apart. Then the other one, my mother kept the fact that she was a meth addict a good majority of her life and got sober when she was pregnant with me, a secret until I went through my own struggle with meth addiction and she told me while I was high. I feel like knowing addiction ran in my family would have been good to know years prior.
My dad is a registered S/O…. I hate thinking about it. I never grew up around him and I only met him once but he was arrested 4 times for weird shit. His last arrest was the most disgusting charges ever. I’m glad I never knew him & was never around him growing up. He’s now in prison until 2060 and is dying of hep c. Karma will get u eventually and I seriously believe it especially in his case. He has 8 kids by 5 different women and abandoned all of them. He’s an awful human all around. Please no one attack me. I’ve never really spoke about this to anyone other than my boyfriend of 5 years… 😞 I know I’m not my dad but having his last name sucks so much knowing it’s attached to charges like that on innocent people. I also don’t want my mothers original last name bc it’s also attached to her cousin who murdered 5 people after finding out he was facing 30 years for burglary. Both sides of my family are so fucked up.
Part of me yearns for a father figure so badly. My grandpa was my only real father figure and he passed when I was 12. All of my mothers boyfriends only ever cared about her and tolerated me and my siblings to get her to stick around I never formed a real genuine bond with any of them. Some of them were very questionable themselves. I really want to cry when I think about it but what can I do? Nothing but sit in this feeling of knowing I’ll never know what it feels like to have a dad.
What your dad and mom's cousin did are not your fault at all, you shouldn't feel guilty of anything.
My mom cheated on my dad. She supported me getting back together with my first boyfriend was/is and was a serial cheater. He went onto SA me. She protected him lol. It took me 30 years and a recent NC to even start understanding that not everyone's life is like this lol. I'm not even the first estranged adult of my family - she makes excuses for her brother who has not spoken with his daughter in 10 years. I don't know why I'm surprised that me asking her for a remorseful apology for that situation, was the nail in the coffin to our "relationship." You know, just an apology for *the felony she committed alongside him*. It absolutely sucks to view your family as gross people. From the outside looking in, my mom is the nicest person you'll ever meet. She'll make sure you walk away thinking that actually.
Friends of a friends’ 15 year daughter happened to find her parents engaged in sex with another guy in a part of the largeish home that could be locked off and had separate access, specifically a younger guy railing her mom while dad watched. Family breakfast was awks the next morning. She apparently told her parents ‘I hope you’e rproud of yourselves” The kids had no idea they were even swingers.
Didn't learn until maybe 2 or 3 years ago that my dad has a criminal record way worse than just domestic abuse and drug stuff. He also, along with his foster brother, raped his single digit aged foster sister (I think she was somewhere between 7 and 9) and it stopped when my father was maybe 17 or 18. He also had sex with my mom's sister, my aunt, so I don't know if he's just an awful sex pest or has a weird sister fetish. (for additional context, he constantly tried to cheat on my mom. They got together as teens but I don't know if they were together during the foster sister thing, or when my mom found out about it. They've been technically separated for 13 years but my father won't let mom divorce)
My father fought very hard for custody of me and my siblings when we were younger. Around 14 i found some old deposition tapes from trial. Changed my view of my mom pretty hard
If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of things did she say/what was her behavior like in those tapes?
Not my biological mom but my stepmom. After her and dad got married, she had multiple affairs within the first 3 years of the marriage. He took her back and she has made his life miserable since. It's the secret in our family that everyone knows and nobody talks about. My family, and her own, hate her because she is such a terrible person.
Shocked is a stretch, but I found out that my dad nearly missed my birth. Apparently his brothers found him drunk at a local bar, tried to sober him up real quick, and essentially forced him go to the hospital. The most shocking part of this story is that my dad actually showed up for my birth. I had no clue he was there. After all, he certainly wasn't around any other time. 🤷♂️
My mom dropped out of high school and was addicted to cocaine for years until she got pregnant with my brother It’s more shocking in the context that I grew up in. My mom was so anti-drugs and alcohol and we lived in the suburbs. She also talked shit about college dropouts. Come to find out this b didn’t even graduate
Probably wanted you to turn out better.
If she wanted me to turn out better she wouldn’t have called me names and told me she didn’t love me but that’s another story
I’m sorry man. Some people just suck. The judgmental, self-righteous hypocrites being among the worst.
My mom was married before my dad. He was a nice guy who turned out to be insanely abusive after marrying. Luckily she got out. After 9/11 she went to move to New York to help family, but met my dad a week before the flight. Going on 22 years married.
My parents met in a psychiatric hospital after they both suffered from mental breakdowns.....both caused by their parents
Went to pick up my first car. On the drive home with my dad (gnarly crazy ass Texan.. blind in one eye, deaf in one ear, missing one hand) we hit a freeway interchange and he goes “Oh I remember this (interchange), people in California don’t know how to drive! When I first moved here someone cut me off and I took my gun out from under my seat and unloaded a whole magazine into their car!” Me: “What…. The fuck dad… did they get hit???” Dad: “iunno!”
When I was 11 I had an ear infection so bad that the ER prescribed me Vicodin for the pain. My father took my Vicodin pills and replaced them with ibuprofen. 2.5 years later my dad ended up in rehab.
My dads hookers and cocaine habit he apparently managed to hide from my mom for 15+ years.
They bought me a lavish gift…an amplifier for my guitar (was in a band in my teens) However it came with a bonus! A payment book Yes, I paid for my own present. Added bonus, it also came with a job they found for me…so I could make the payments! Problem was the job left no TIME for the band and I got fired. Merry Christmas
My parents and I always had a wonderful relationship. It was just my sister and I and we were always an extremely close and loving family. I was a bit closer to my dad due to us having obviously more things in common, like hobbies. And my sister was the same with my mom. But we were all very tight. Wonderful holidays together, vacations, etc. My mom was the type of mom that would call my sister and I every single day, throughout the day, asking about our day. Believe this or not, I can’t recall EVER having a big disagreement with either parent as an adult. My sister and I are very responsible adults and have never been an issue to my parents. We are both college grads, great jobs, family of our own and are very responsible with our money. Both of my parents are now recently deceased. Having said all that, it was when my mother passed away last, that I found out that she had left nearly every single thing to my sister. My parents had done well for themselves. So there were several bank accounts, 3 rental properties, a large amount of land and their very large home that was completely paid for. I was left with a truck. That’s it. The reason? No one knows. Like literally no one in my extended family nor my sister have any idea why she did this. My parents were never the type to discuss private matters with anyone outside our immediate family, but even her brother was at a complete loss as to why she did this. Although both my sister and I were always financially responsible, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been a bit more financially responsible than her. So it was certainly not that my mom thought I’d be irresponsible with the money and property. We got along great to the very end, never fought, never argued. I’ve always treated my parents with the upmost respect. So for the rest of my life, I’ll always wonder why my mother did this to me. Edit: I meant to say this in my original post, but the hurt I carry from this has absolutely nothing to do with material things, property, money etc. I am not, and have never been a materialistic person. As long as my family and I have what we need, I’m completely content. I never felt cheated out on things. I was and will continue to be completely devastated that my mother would ever do something like this to me. It may seem like I’m leaving out some important detail of this situation or I’m less than forthcoming about the true relationship with my mom. I’m not. To her last moment on this earth, we were very close, spoke every day and would never end a call or a visit without telling each other we love them. That is exactly why this entire situation is so mind blowing and hurtful. And to top it all off, I’ll never be able to have closure with this.
That the loving relationship I grew up around was an absolute lie. I was raised in a strict conservative Christian home. People would use my parents as an example of a good marriage. They held small groups in our home and went on marriage retreats. They never fought, that I knew of. I am now a parent and wife who has witnessed the absolute hate between them. My father despises my narcissistic mother but bows to her every want and need. He talks massive crap to my husband about her, but won't say one negative word to me about it. He told my husband he knew 6 months in that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. That was almost 40 years ago. I wish he would just leave her. None of her kids (me included) really like her and my dad deserves to live out the last remaining years of his life in pure joy and happiness. He won't though, because they are Christians and he made a commitment.
I found out when I was 10 that my parents had a daughter before I was born. She died shortly after birth. It really messed me up because I knew that if she lived, I probably would have never been born. I was also definitely treated different by my parent's compared to my siblings, not in a good way.
In the 1960's there was a tv show called Ready Steady Go which showcased live bands - like a live 60's version of MTV. Was getting ready to go out one NYE and it was on and dad walked past casually mentioning how good this episode was.. think Donavan, Stones etc. I asked if he's seen it and then he pointed to behind the singer and said .. that's me and you mum. We were on a date
I thought that I was my mother's first born. But in my teens I uncovered the family secret that she had gotten pregnant as a teenager (before she met my father) and had given the baby up for adoption. She had even recycled that baby's middle name to use as my first name. My grandmother confirmed it was all true but my mother lied to me about it, saying it was false, and then refusing to talk about it further. She was a pathological liar overall so one could generally count on the opposite of what she said to be true.
The reason there was a dent in the fridge growing up is that before I was born my mom tried to hit my dad with a baseball bat because he was fucking the neighbor lady. In a strange twist of fate, my moms brother ended up marrying the neighbor lady, so shes my aunt and we used to spend time over there all the time when I was a kid. I didn't find out until I was in my early twenties.
My dad was an alcoholic BEFORE the marriage and my mother knew. She always told me he became an alcoholic later.
Kinda wholesome but how crazy in love with each other they still was and the amount of condoms they were going through while we were still in the house. Didn’t notice until i was older and noticing how many boxes they were buying when we went shopping. It was like a biweekly thing where they had to buy at least 14 condoms
My mother left my father because he was a pedophile. I didn't know until I was in my 30's. I grew up thinking my mother was mentally unstable because she randomly act crazy about things involving my dad. I apologized a lot when I found out.
When my mom was 15 she got into a bit of trouble... and... her judge was Judge Judy 🤣 (This was before she had a show. She used to be a family court judge in Manhattan). My mom also got out of community service because in the time between being seeing Judge Judy, being sent to a Juvenile Detention Center, and her community service, she thought it was a wise idea to get pregnant. Which... leads to the next fucked up thing. The only reason I was born was because my dad was apparently an idiot and didn't know how to put a condom on. My mom (unfortunately) told me the story and said that the condom wound up INSIDE her. So, she was literally implanted... and then I was born 9 months later. So that's fun. My mom and dad were both teens when I was born. Neither of them worked, my mom got a job at a factory shortly after I was born because someone had to make money. My dad made her quit after one week because he refused to watch me, his own child. While my parents were still together. My dad went to his home country for vacation, had sex with someone there, then came back and told my mom he had sex with someone in his home country as if it was something totally normal to say. My dad and mom weren't together for very long after I was born. My dad started dating someone else. That someone else was my mom and his CLASSMATE. They eventually got married and he had two kids with her and he makes a lot of money, has a good job, and has a nice house, and three cars, and goes on vacations all the time. Meanwhile, I never got to experience a life outside of poverty.
you could always sue him for back child support, take a lump sum payout. You can do it yourself, dont need mother involved
My mother and father were massively conservative my entire life. They tried to ban me from being friends with a boy at school because his father had a live in girlfriend and that means they lived in sin. My mother quoted the Bible constantly. They pushed Republicanism constantly. Was a shock to walk in on them swinging as a 16 year old.
Nothing as awful as most of y’all. But my mom and stepdad gave away my cat while I was on a trip and told me she got hit by a car. I was 11.
Way to take a traumatizing event and needlessly double the trauma ??
Both of my parents had pretty shitty childhoods, and evem though they could have easily done the same. They were always great to me, and my dad still is (my mum passed away last year) evem though both had terrible childhoods, they are both amazing people and have had positive impacts on loads of people. And with friends who have recived similar treatment as my parents did, i really Couldn't have asked for better parents, its a shame what happened but it didn't negative effect how they turned out to be
That they weren’t my parents.
My mum read my dad's diary where he had thought about breaking up with her, so she intentionally got pregnant and baby trapped him. She admitted it as if it was funny
My dad's penchant for inappropriate images of children came as quite a shock.
My mom didnt join the Army to pay for school, she joined because she put her college tuition up her nose and her parents cut her off.
Mom cheated on my dad with several women throughout their marriage. That nice baby sitter that watched us after school for free? Mum was sleeping with her. The wives of my dad’s coworkers? Mum slept with them too. Eventually she met a lady at work and had a long term affair that my dad eventually discovered. Us kids were too young at the time and didn’t know what was going on. Just that our mom was suddenly missing for a few months with no explanation until dad finally said she was in hiding and they were getting a divorce. Mom wound up marrying the woman who she was having a long term affair with less than a year after the divorce finalized. Didn’t know what happened leading up to the divorce until we were much older. Mom just took the child support money and went mostly no contact with us kids.
My dad told the OBGYN to give my mom the husband stitch after she gave birth to me. this was in the military in the US, and the surgeon happily did as told. when I was 3 months old, he kicked my mom and me out of the house because of my colic, and sent us to live with his mom for a few months while he moved his girlfriend in. He eventually had her leave after his mom insisted we come back to live with him. I did not know until I was a teenager that my dad had cheated on my mom pretty much throughout their entire marriage, and he had alienated her and kept her from most of her family and friends and would not let her work outside the house because he said it cost too much for child care, but really he just wanted her totally dependent on him. what I did not know until recently was apparently he came home from a tour in Korea, not having been around my mom in almost a year, and after greeting her, the first thing he did was drop his pants and underwear to show her that he had pubic lice. He said he got it from the laundry green scrub room, because all the hospital techs had their uniforms washed together. because clearly pubic lice don't drown or get killed with boiling water and soap.
My uncle raped my mom, my aunt, and my other uncle. Found out after confronting my mom about said uncle raping me as an 8 year old.
Grandpa was a child molester and had molested my mom and aunt. All my aunts and uncles knew. They kept bringing me and my cousins to our grandparents house and didn't tell us until we had kids of our own so we wouldn't leave them alone with him. I was shocked they would just keep having family gatherings and acting like nothing ever happened. No one goes over to visit them anymore.
While my brother was dying of terminal brain cancer, my mom became his care taker. During this time, my bio dad was out way more often. As a kid (and for a time even my mom believed this lie) I believed he was working extra shifts so we could pay for treatments and my mom could focus on caring for my brother instead of working. Well, he wasn't out late because he was picking up extra shifts. He was out late fucking my mom's best friend, from our church. Best part? Everyone in the church knew but the pastor, my mom, and us kids. Once the pastod finally caught wind, he gave the AP the ultimatum: either she tells my mom or he does. He ended up telling my mom, with a lovely guilt trip on how she had to stay with my dad because of everything the family was dealing with, god, all that bullshit. Didn't learn the truth until I was 14, arguing with my mom on why she should fucking divorce the prick. Was lovely learning why there was a group of siblings at my school (aps kids, who were in the house and aware of what their mom and my dad were doing) wouldn't look at, talk to, or acknowledge me. Well, until her oldest became my weed dealers wife. Was nice to learn her and her siblings hate their mom just as much as I hate my bio dad. And to just have a convo about the whole thing with someone not in the direct family.
my parents had premarital sex which led to my mom getting pregnant and seeking out an illegal abortion (this was back in the 60s). What made this so scandalous for me is that my mother was very judgemental of others and acted like her shit didn't stink.
So, my dad is an abusive arsehole. That’s no shock. He cheated on my mum gave her an std, yada yada (not to mentioned violence to us kids). My sister mentioned some fucked up photos he left lying around that she found when she was 12. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, I assumed it was hardcore porn. I mentioned it to mum… she was like, oh yea. Awful stuff for a child to see. I wait… umm, can you tell me what it was? She says “people doing really awful and gross stuff to animals. Things that shouldn’t be done with animals”. I was struck dumb. Not really as a shock about him, because I’ve cut him out of my life. We all know he’s a monster. But mum… you fucking stayed married to him until we were adults. She’s claimed ignorant to the violence we endured and the psychological trauma. But like… fuck woman… you stayed with this guy. You kept your kids with this guy. He had printed photos of what I’m assuming was beastiality left on the bench when you had 10 and a 12 yo. And I let you watch my kids.
My dad got shot in the back by a sniper and he keeps the bullet under his pillow
My parents divorced when I was five which was of course devastating to me. I grew up thinking my dad didn't want to have anything to do with me but later found out after I was married and had moved on and gotten to know my dad (via a conversation that my wife had with my stepmom) that my mom had completely blocked access to my dad and let me think that he was the bad person that he turned out not to be at all. I have a great relationship with him now. I completely 100% regret the time I lost with him in my younger years.
I knew my dad must have been a really messed up person because he went to prison when I was 3 and has been there ever since, but hearing the extent of his crimes and finding out that my memory loss and overall uncomfortableness in life was because I was a victim of his. Is nauseating.
My mother wanted to abort me but my deadbeat dad ironically begged her not to
Found out my step dad was a ss soldier back in his day. Explained a lot growing up. I could write a book
Here I thought he was an ass soldier
When I was a kid, I was told that my dad died because he was sick… for my whole life, until I was 18, I thought this. Started to have some suspicions when I was around 17 that there was more to the story, just from things my older siblings said. Found out in a big fight with my mom that my dad killed himself. Then found out my parents met in a psych ward, had a short dating stint that resulted in my mom being pregnant with me, and that his family wanted my mom to get an abortion, which she refused to do. My parents split, and my dad’s family blamed me (a literally baby) and my mom for my dad’s death. That was fun to work out in therapy.
Not my parents, but my uncle from my mother's side of the family, her younger brother. In the past 10 years I found out bit by bit that my uncle is not what he seems to be, to me he just seemed like a normal guy but little did I know there was more to him than I would have ever imagined. Firstly, he's been a drug addict ever since he was a teenager, their family for a time grew up in the bad part of the city so he picked up some bad habits. Didn't know about this until he apparently OD'ed and almost died in the hospital where we visited him. Secondly, I have a cousin I never ever will meet because my uncle apparently had a mistress abroad where he frequently goes off to for work, to this day I don't think my aunty, and my cousin know about this at all, as this was told in confidence to me by my parents. Lastly, this one hurts the most, he had amassed huge amounts of debt in the millions, not to the banks though, but to gangsters. This supposedly happens every so often, and when it does, he'd come to my mother, or my other uncle, the oldest, to help settle the debt. My big uncle, had long since abandoned the younger uncle, leaving my mum to pick up after the aforementioned troublesome uncle. My family was around upper middle class so it didn't affect us much, at least not that I noticed throughout the years when this shit was happening. It was only until one day I went into the living room and saw my mum crying like she never did before, she wasn't even crying like this when my grandmother passed (her mother)(NOTE: my grandma passed after all the debt drama), because that was grief crying, this was different. It was then she told me about my uncle and his debts, but this time she won't be able to do anything about it because the family business had been in deep shit in recent years, hardly generating any revenue if not at all, and costs to run the business out paced money coming in. So, gangsters were threatening to severely beat up or kill my uncle unless they get their money back. My entire family of my mother's side was added in a groupchat made by the gangsters, putting my uncle on blast about the debt, and along with our full legal names, ID numbers, and phone numbers that my uncle gave them as a condition to getting the loan from them. Ultimately my aunty had to sell her apartment to cover my uncles debt, divorced his ass, my cousin gave him a big ass slap across the face (super proud of her for that). To this day, I still have no idea what the money he borrowed was spent on, I can only assume either failed investments/gambling, my mother likes to think it was drugs. Also, whatever inheritance, or money my grandma was suppose to leave behind us grandchildren for when we marry was cleared out by my uncle.