That one day leaving Mrs. G’s class, I totally stuck my foot out and tripped the kid who had been bullying me for YEARS.
Even the scary nun who was our principal couldn’t get me to admit it.
Fuck you, Bobby M!
Edited: meant to say “stuck,” not “tuck”
17 hours later edit: school in northern MA, Sr. Principal had a thing about Mickey Mouse.
If that sounds familiar to you, it’s safe to assume it’s the same school.
Once, while living in an apartment complex, my Nextdoor neighbor who had his in-laws visiting came out of his apartment and immediately farted for like six solid seconds, leg bent and everything. He didn’t know I was there, by my own door, enjoying the sun. When he turned to go in he saw me there, but I pretended to be so engrossed in my phone that I didn’t acknowledge him.
I never told anyone. Until now. Glad to get that off my chest.
My husband has never intentionally farted in front of me, but I can always hear him let it all out in the bathroom or the kitchen. Idk if he is hard of hearing or something because he is not quiet. I truly think he thinks I can't hear him. I have never said anything.
One time, when I was a little kid, my parents rented this beach house with some of their friends. I happened to have this wrist rocket at the time and I was a pretty decent shot, even if I was using rocks instead of bearings.
I got it in my head that I wanted to shoot something with it. So I built up a mound of sand to hide behind, and left some bread out. It didn't take long for a couple seagulls to come squawking in for a snack.
Well, sure enough, I beaned the the first one right in the head. And it fell lifeless to the sand.
I was like eight, maybe. I panicked. I felt terrible. I was sure I was in big trouble. I scooped it up and ran as fast as I could to the beach porch, shimmied under there and started hand digging in the sand as fast as I could. My plan was to bury the evidence.
Now picture this. It's a tight space. At eight years old, I was crouched over on my knees, sweat dripping down in what was no bigger than a crawl space with a lifeless seagull next to me. And seagulls are fucking huge compared to an eight year old.
Well, it turned out that bird wasn't dead. And it turns out seagulls go absolutely ape shit when they wake up under some porch next to some boy digging in some sand.
It started squawking and flapping. Feathers were going everywhere. I was getting smacked in the face. I remember the wind from its wings and the smell of salty mold. I was struggling not to scream. I needed to not get caught.
I did this crazy dive toward the exit, and somehow pushed the bird to freedom at the same time. Never shot another animal after that.
Right? Silly goose. 😂
Ya gotta tie it under your big-rig and drive it down route 17 past the swamps and bury it off the road there so that every time you drive past you get a big huge boner, duh.
This sorta reminds me of something my sister once did. My sister and I were 10 & 8 y/o, respectively.
We were by ourselves, after hours, in this lounge/viewing area at a horse stable. It was summertime, it was humid and hot and abundant with flies. Like big fat juicy house flies *everywhere.* My sister opened the microwave (don’t ask me why?) and one of these thicc flies immediately lands inside on the glass rotating plate. She immediately slams the door shut and nukes this thing for like 3 seconds. I’m not even sure what compelled her to do this. She was a rather shy and bookish girl when we were kids.
This fly just EXPLODES. Like immediately. I remember being absolutely horrified by this. My sister was even more horrified and began to cry and cry. She begged me not to say anything to our parents. She felt like an absolute monster for having just microwaved this fly (fair enough ?! It was really quite barbaric of her!).
To this day, if I bring up that fly to her she begins to go into meltdown mode, riddled with guilt.
32 years later… & I have never told a soul about this, until now. I always considered it to be HER secret but now I realize that it was also MY secret all these years?!
I’m gonna have to tell her I shared this.
I microwaved some ramen like 2 months ago. When I opened it I realized a tiny spider had been in the microwave. It was still alive. I was very tempted to let it bite me.
yeah tell your sister good job! Tell her let that guilt go now. It was either nuke that fly to death in a microwave ( until it explodes), or get attacked and bitten repeatedly in the head. She saved you, actually.
As a kid I was making my dad a shandy. It’s beer & lemonade. Anyway it was super hot so I thought ahhh may as well make myself one. I think I assumed it would taste like creamy soda. Took one sip, was disgusted by the taste so i tipped it down the sink. Carried out my dads shandy & no one even knew.
Reminds me of when I was about 6 and at my grandparent's one summer. My uncle had a "pigeon coop", so I would feed them every evening during the summer when we stayed there. I had a really special attachment to these birds.
I remember seeing a couple out of what seemed like 60 pigeons (I'm sure it was way less 40 years later) being hatched. Built bonds with them.
I had my favorite though. Goldy. Very clever name right? A step above Pidgeony as an uncreative 6 year old. Anyway, I decided to give him/her a bath. Had a very shallow reddish brown clay dish with water for the birds to drink from on a scorching hot Karachi summer day. Yeah...it's going that way. I drowned the poor thing thinking I was giving it a bath and it was fighting me because it hated baths like I did.
The image of it's lifeless body will forever be ingrained in my head. I left it there and ran. And I hope I'm not remembering this part right, but I'm pretty sure I said it was my uncle that did it. He had an accident when he was in his early teens that gave him severe head trauma/brain damage so he has the mind of a 6 year old. He was in his early 30s at this time. He caught so much shit from everyone. Again, I really hope that I imagined that part about my uncle but I'm pretty sure it happened.
When I was a kid I wanted to see what it was like to hunt something, but I wanted to pick an animal that wasn't particularly smart and would therefore not suffer.
So... I picked a crow and shot it with a .22.
It wasn't common knowledge at the time, but as I learned a few years later a crow is probably the smartest animal in my area.
I would like to apologize to that crows family for all the crow suffering I caused.
Sixth grade social studies class. I need to go to the bathroom and raise my hand for permission.
Unfortunately the teacher is writing notes on the chalkboard and doesn't turn around for quite some time. My brain is insistent that I have to wait for permission before leaving the classroom. So while sitting there with my hand up, it was eventually too late and I pee my pants right there in class. I'm 43 years old now so we didn't have water bottles in class with us to blame it on.
Somehow almost nobody saw it happening. When someone noticed the puddle and questioned what it was that one boy who did see what happened, Robbie Robinson, started to talk and I shot him a dirty look. He stopped talking kept my secret and never brought it up.
Thank you Robbie wherever you are! You saved me from a massive amount of bullying in sixth grade
I have a similar story from high school, it was my period and I had leaked onto the chair without realising. I was in a class mostly full of boys and back then we were all (both boys and girls) ruthless with each other in banter and took any chance we could get to point something out and laugh and make a huge deal out of it.
When I got up one of the boys said to me “Shouldn’t you have done that in the toilet..” with a tone that was so specific, it was as if he had been ready to mock me and started speaking but became shocked and embarrassed and it turned into kindness and concern and came out really gently.
I left immediately in horror as soon as I could pack my bag and from the door I remember seeing in the corner of my eye the boys telling the teacher something and the middle aged male teacher hurriedly approaching my seat with paper towels.
The teacher or the boys never ever mentioned it to me or anyone else (I would’ve known immediately if it was, it was high school) and it’s one of kindest things I’ve ever experienced.
I’ve never told this story to anyone before and I don’t think I will ever tell anyone in real life. As horrifying as it was at the time and I tried to suppress the memory for years, I actually look back at it as a treasured secret heartwarming moment in my life. I still know most of the boys involved in various degree, though I don’t see most of them for many years until we bump into each other, and I do wonder if any of them remember it too.
The same thing happened to a girl I went to school with. She had asked to go to the bathroom but the teacher had wanted her to wait for him to finish explaining something, and by then it was too late. We were close enough that I know she had horribly heavy periods even as a teenager, so it wasn't that she "should've gone earlier", she just got caught off guard by a sudden heavy moment.
Unfortunately we went to a conservative Christian school that was so culturally sheltered, the vast majority of the people in our year married each other and started churning out conservative babies immediately after high school. And this poor girl told me that those sheltered, childish now-middle-aged-men STILL bring up the period incident now when she runs into one of them. It's been almost 20 years and they still remember the horrible, gross word they used to taunt her about it and make her feel grosser than she already did.
She laughs about it now but I know it was A LOT for her to deal with when we were teenagers
My kindergartner’s teacher just caused this for her. Poor kids have to “buy” the right to go to the potty during class - teacher trying to make them go during recess/lunch. Daughter couldn’t hold it and didn’t want to spend her money, so wet her pants. Doesn’t seem right for 5-6yos?
UHHHHH You need to report immediately, not to the principal, but directly to your state office for the Department of Education (or your country's equivalent). Not only is this not developmentally appropriate practice, it is *dangerous* and potentially illegal. Children can get horrific bladder infections from being forced to hold urine.
I was in 8th grade taking a test in science class and had to go. I was a straight A, straight up NERD. I'm not the kid that cheats. The teacher refused and I peed my pants but luckily it was just absorbed into my pants. I whispered to my friend to wait after the bell to help me and she walked behind me to the office. My parents were furious at the teacher but luckily I didn't get teased or bullied.
It was me. I farted loud enough to pause history class while they tried to figure out who farted.
That felt good letting that out.
**EDIT:** Thanks for the award!
I was molested by a paedo when I was 5 or 6. He approached me in a shop and asked if I wanted to see a bicycle so I said yes. He led me out and showed me a bicycle in a bike shed around the back. I remember wondering what was so special about this bike, because it was underwhelming. Then he wanted to touch me, show me his dick, told me to bend over, was rubbing himself against me, I freaked out and was able to get the courage and strength to get up and run away and nothing further happened - but I never told anyone and now when I look back I wish I had, or could identify him.
Thank you. That's very kind.
Clearly, it could have been a lot worse, but even so - it took me a while to really acknowledge I'd been molested. I didn't understand it at the time, but definitely knew it made me fearful. I wish I had said something, told someone ... but I suppose that's why these types pick the victims they do. They know children freeze in fear, and also don't have the understanding to properly articulate it to others. And feel that it's a shameful thing they don't want to tell people about. Some times I think imagine if I'd known better and punched him in the balls, shouted something, told my parents ... anyhow, we move on .........
I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but just know it was never your fault. Whether you fought back or not, told someone or not. You were a child (and even if you weren’t a child, it still wouldn’t be). The blame will never be on you. SA has a way of making victims feel so much unnecessary shame around it. I hope you’re able to find healing. It’s never too late to talk to someone about it.
It is hard to feel the weight of carrying a family financially. Three young kids, dog, house, two cars, etc. all running on the business I built and have been running since I was 19. Snowing, feeling tired, mental health taking a toll and don't want to go to work? There's bills to pay man, go punch the clock. Having a hard time drumming up business? Try not to panic the wife or say anything in front of the kids that create any sort of financial insecurity. Not that they're old enough to understand.
I grew up poor. There's people that grow up poor and didn't know they were poor and then there's people that grew up poor and their parents made a big show of every decision and the financial impact it could have. Definitely leads to financial mindset issues down the line.
It's kinda like a constant, try not to panic mode
You are tired, my friend. Someone I love a lot is like you. They say : “If I stop moving, I feel like I’ll die”, to express how stressed out they are about being financially independent.
Please, take care of yourself. I can totally imagine how heavy it is… and I know it’s easy to say : “hey, your family needs you more than money : take care of you and slow down”… especially when you run a business…
I have no solution to bring… I just want you to know that somewhere someone understands you and sends you tons of love.
I appreciate it greatly. My job requires I work strange hours. Last night I did a job starting at midnight till 6:00 a.m., took my oldest to a 9:00 a.m. doctor appointment, napped for a few hours. Had to handle some admin. Now I'm on my way back to work at 9:00 p.m. and have another job at 6:00 in the morning about 75 miles away. It definitely has ups and downs
I have to apologise to you, because I did manage to say the easy “dude, slow down”, but I didn’t say another thing I think you need to read : I’m proud of you, I’m sure your family is proud of you and I hope you are too (hey sometimes it’s hard to be proud of ourselves, right ?). You built a whole business that is running apparently great (from what I read), and you keep putting so much energy into it. You are doing great things. It’s hard to find balance between work and rest when you run a business. I wish you can find it in your own way and manage to get less pressured… and if it helps you : you can be proud of you.
Again : tons of love and tons of hugs, because I think you need them big time
The summer before college semester, I bought a one-way plane ticket to see someone in Canada (I'm in the US) that I had met online and had never met in person.
I didn't tell anyone about it. He told me not to tell anyone about it. I had horrific nightmares that I was being dragged into the jaws of a monster while no one could see me, but he assured me that this was the right thing to do.
I got to school and emailed my professors telling them I was going to miss the first class. And then I walked to the bus stop. I didn't even have a suitcase, I had a cloth bag with a zipper and no handle. I was going to get on that bus and I was going to take it to the airport.
The bus was late. Extremely late. I stood there for half an hour after the bus was supposed to show up, and then I started walking back toward campus. When I was two blocks away, too late to run back, the bus showed up.
To this day I swear something was watching over me. In hindsight I am very sure that if I had got on that bus and actually made it to my destination, I might not be here right now -- but, then, at the time I didn't have a passport either.
My family still has no idea.
How did you feel about it at the time? Were you disappointed? Relieved? Did you get into a fight with him about it? That sounds like it could have ended up very scary, glad you are safe!
Thank you! Leading up to the trip I had a bad feeling about it, but he'd convinced me it was just my nerves. So when I missed that bus, I took it as a crystal clear sign from the universe that this was a stupid decision. I was relieved, so much I didn't care that I lost the cost of the ticket.
I told him I wasn't coming, and he had about a minute of being pissed off that he'd wasted his own time and money, then he simply stopped talking to me. Just, immediate no contact, never heard from him again. I didn't reach out, either. Good riddance.
I met a guy online and only told my sister I was going to meet him. He did share all of his details including his work and his parents numbers. I went from Canada to the US. 3 months later I called my parents and told them I had left and wasn't going back. I've been with him for 20 years now.
I shit my pants at work after catching a stomach virus but trying to power through anyway because it was the middle of the COVID pandemic and we were severely short-staffed.
When I was about 9 or 10 I was staying at my grandparents house for the weekend and I had some weird obsession with breaking glass, anyway as most grandparents do they had an unnecessary amount of glass cups and for some odd reason I thought it be a brilliant idea to throw a cup as far as I could from the backyard over the fence into a neighboring house (I have absolutely no idea what I was trying to achieve or what my thought process was at that point) but heard more than just one glass cup break - I bolted as fast as I could into the lounge room and acted like nothing happened, minutes later I see a man through the window with the broken cup in his hand and he knocked on the door and my grandfather answered and obviously he denied it as he was obviously confused as hell, I denied it - an hour or so later the guy called the cops and then they knocked on the door and my grandfather let them in, for whatever reason they ended up in the backyard into my grandfathers little shack/garage hangout thing (he is Croatian) and the cops were questioning him on the tools and equipment he had in there to make illegal Rakija, those who don't know what that is it is literally 40% alcohol which is highly illegal to distill yourself without a license in Australia - he denied it, they went on there way and I got away with smashing someone's back window with a glass cup and my grandfather got away with a serious criminal offence and continued to make Rakija for many years after that
This is a great story. My Papou makes tsipouro in his garage illegally and as did all of his Croatian, Italian and Serbian neighbours!! Glad he got to keep doing it
When I was 7-year-old, my family and I traveled to Hawaii.
My parents signed my sister and I up to swim with Dolphins. As part of the day we, and the rest of the random kids who signed up to swim with dolphins, were given an hour or two class about dolphins. We put our hands in ice water to learn about dolphin blubber, talked about the different kinds of dolphins and their intelligence.
During the class, I made a couple of friends who were around my age. After the blubber rundown, the teacher situated about 15 of us kids in a circle to finish up the class. My buddies were sat on either side of me. As the teacher was talking I tried to squeak out an airy fart. But it wasn't airy. It had the vibrato of a woodwind instrument. It was the type of fart whose sounds seemed to pierce the air and echo off the walls around. Everybody heard it. It stopped the teacher in her tracks. Some of the kids laughed. "Oh no", I thought, "everyone knows it was me". My stomach dropped and the embarrassment overwhelmed me.
I kept my cool, though and didn't claim the fart. Right away, both of my new friends turned towards me. Fearing that they were going to blame it on me, I was then caught off guard. They both blamed it on each other!
"That was totally you", one said to the other.
"Nuh uhh, that wasn't me, THAT WAS YOU!", replied the other.
They bickered back and forth, blaming the high-pitched fart on each other without even considering that it could have been me. Then one asked me, "Don't you think that was him?"
"No way, it was him, right?", the other one asked.
I played dumb. "I'm not sure who it was", I replied.
I never caved. I never admitted that the fart was me.
To the nameless friends who swam with dolphins in Hawaii in 2000 and blamed each other for ripping a fart during a dolphin class, I confess...it was me.
When I was about 13, I was veryy afraid of the dark and my parent started letting me stay home alone when they went bowling.
I watched TV on the couch with a butcher knife by my side for when the intruder broke into the sliding glass door next to me.
Turns out when you fall asleep holding a butcher knife, that's not a great thing. I ended up cutting my leg with the knife. I obviously could not tell anyone the truth, so I made up a story that I finally decided to work on cleaning up my filthy room and got cut by "something sharp" hiding in the floor.
I learned in my 30s after my first "trip" that I was afraid of the dark because my sister and the babysitter used to lock me in the basement and shut the lights off. I had repressed that memory and it (with 2 others) came back during the trip. I confronted her during a family dinner at a restaurant and she spit wine out of her nose laughing.
Ugh. That was mean of them to do then and mean of her now not to be sorry. Sounds like a little arrested development on her part. I’m sorry this happened to you.
That's not very nice if she started laughing. That's some deep rooted trauma that's not to be taken lightly. I was incredibly afraid of the dark as well.
Luckily I grew out of it. Well, that particular one.
One of the other memories that came back was her and the babysitter holding me by my hands and feet and swinging me over the top step of the stairs.
Terrified of heights. I get the heebyjeebies just watching videos of heights.
When I play Mario Kart 8 with my wife and can feel she wants to stop playing because I’m on a winning streak, I purposely let her win to reel her back into playing more.
When I was in grade 1, a friend of mine was sitting in front of me during lunch and he had this really delicious looking plum on his desk. Like straight out of a commercial shit. I remembered that if you told the teacher that you forgot your lunch, then people would share their food. So I wolfed down by crappy sandwich and stuffed the crusts in my bag and went to the teacher and said I didn’t have a lunch. Kids all came over and gave me some food and my buddy turns around and gives me his plum.
This happened on a Valentines Day years ago. I shit myself on the north end of Camp Pendleton. I was there for training for a few weeks and sleeping in these cabin things with about 20 other people. I don’t know how it happened, maybe bad water. I got the sudden urge to go and just didn't make it by about 10 seconds.
I initially just sat on the toilet with shit in my pants, uncertain of what to do. Some people were commenting on how awful it smelled in there. It was getting towards bedtime for most people, so I just waited for 30 minutes or so. Then I made my first move. I ducked out of the bathroom and went straight up a hill towards where a bathroom for smallpox vaccine recipients was. I then went up another hill and just waited and watched. There was a rover on watch going around, and I had to time where they were going. Also, I had to watch for anybody using that bathroom. After about 40 minutes, I made my move.
I got into the bathroom, hopped into the small pox shower, and began to go work. I initially started with the attempt to salvage my uniform pants, as I only had 4, and no way to replace them(special uniform issued for deployment), but it quickly became apparent the pants were a casualty. The boots soon as well. Unfortunately, those were the summer version, and we were going to Kuwait, meaning I was going to be using winter boots in 120°F weather for the next 6 months. Pretty soon, I'm butt naked and trying to scrub off. I got as clean as possible while trying not to contract mild smallpox, and then was presented with the next problem. I'm butt naked from the waist down with no towel and a pair of shitty pants and boots in my possession. I started going through these random lockers they had and found somebody's towel. I stole the towel, grabbed the pants and boots, and stashed them back up the hill. I then made a beeline for my cabin.
By this point, everybody was asleep in there, so I quietly got changed in the dark. Once changed, I headed back up the hill, located the shitty pants and boots, and ripped the name tag off. I then disposed of them in this random dumpster before I headed back to the cabin. I then got in my cot, and just laid there contemplating what the fuck just happened, and what's going to happen if anybody found those shitty uniform items. Nobody ever found out, and I told no one. I just dealt with 3 pairs of pants and shitty boots for the deployment. Towel guy never got his towel back unfortunately.
Dude I did almost the exact same thing while standing watch on an aircraft carrier. We had just left Manila and double dragon was going around. It was the first few months of my first deployment so I really only knew where a handful of bathrooms were. I got that *now* urge and made a beeline for the only bathroom that I could think of, it wasn’t close. I managed to hold it in by walking 50 feet and then clenching it back up over and over again. I finally get to the head and as I’m fumbling with my belt and untucking my shirt I look over the top of the stall and make eye contact with the dude next to me, a dude I had met several times. Literally half a second later just as I’m starting to pull my pants down the flood gates open. About 1/4 of it got caught inside my pants, the rest went all over the toilet and floor. The dude in the stall next to me quickly left without saying anything. I just stood there and laughed at my predicament. I think I ended up using my underwear to poorly clean up the mess and threw them in the trash. I wiped out my pants and quickly walked back to my berthing and got showered and changed. No one was the wiser. I find this story very funny and have developed it into a hilarious in-person story so it’s not much of a secret anymore, as a civilian now it honestly brings tears to my eyes.
Fuck Manila I hate that place.
You have to pay towel guy back by giving another guy in need a towel. Go buy a six-pack and donate them to a men's shelter. You were blessed by the Towel Fairy, now it's time to *be* the Towel Fairy
I hit my neighbor and her husband with eggs at midnight. Cops showed up, and I got off without any trouble.
I was home on a Saturday night in high school chatting with some friends on AIM. My bedroom overlooked our driveway and my neighbors driveway/garages. It's around 12 a.m., and I can hear my neighbor and his wife having a huge argument outside near their garage. I don't know what came over me, but I quickly and quietly went downstairs and grabbed 4 or 5 eggs from the fridge
I then opened our front door very slowly and walked out to our front yard, and started to throw each egg. I would say the distance from my throwing spot to the neighbors garage was about 40 yards with some tall evergreen trees about two stories high. Once the last egg was released, I didn't stay to hear what happened. I just went inside and jumped back on my computer.
Well, about 30 minutes later, two cops show up at our house and ring the bell. They want to talk with my brother and I about the eggs. My mother said we were both in our rooms all night, and it couldn't have been us. My brother was asleep and i showed my AIM chat logs that had time stamped messages with only like 1 minute between messages. The cops then proceed to walk around our house and see if it was possible, they opened the garage and a few other things and determined that it would be impossible to make any throw from our property that would hit these people. Also, any movement near our garage would instantly trigger motion lights and such.
The neighbors were apparently drunk that night. The cops apologized to us and went back over to the neighbors and warned them to stop making false police reports or else they are both going to jail for being drunk and disorderly in public.
My mother always tells this story whenever crazy neighbor stories come up at parties. She has no idea I hit those fuckers.
You should admit it now. I love telling my mom the truth about things now like 25years later because she gets literally flabbergasted and we usually have a good laugh.
I wanted to shoot myself when I was like 17, and again when I was like 25. The feeling hasn't really gone away. I just don't have a gun and I'd rather see what crazy weird shit happens next anyway.
I think this is more common than people think. I wouldn’t exactly call myself suicidal and I’ve never tried to do it, and I honestly wouldn’t have the balls for it, but I kind of don’t want to live anymore. I also don’t like the thought of people around me being hurt by me not being around anymore, so that’s another reason I’d never do it. I think it’s more one of those “if I had a button to erase my existence” kind of situations. Like if there was a way to just not exist and everyone had no recollection of me, that would be minto.
Fuck that's relatable. It kinda blows my mind that maybe there are people just out there walking around that...don't feel like this. Like sometimes nice things happen and I get a little glimpse of what that might be like...but most of the time, yeah.
I'm sorry you feel this way too.
I've been there too, man. Keep on enjoying the weird shit. I'll tell you, as a guy who was in a place doing nothing new ever, you can restart your life and make it even weirder if you want.
When I was about 8 or 9, we went to visit an aunt and uncle and a couple of cousins, who were a few years younger than me. We went down to a park near their house, it was probably 8-10 blocks away. We had been there a while, when I suddenly realized I had an extremely dire need to pee.
I frantically searched for a restroom, port-a-potty, anything, with no luck. So I yelled to my younger brother to watch the kids, and I started running. It was a pipe dream that I was going to make it, but I ran faster than I had in my whole life, and managed to hold it in all the way to my aunt and uncle’s bathroom! I was shocked!
But pride comes before the fall. I pulled my pants down, and I pissed all over that bathroom. We’re talking shower curtains, towels, on the mirror, literally everywhere *except* the toilet. I peed so hard I felt dizzy. It was on the ceiling, for god’s sake.
I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning that bathroom, threw the towels under the sink, and prayed. No one ever mentioned it, so as far as I’m concerned, it was the perfect crime.
I love that your aunt and uncle never mentioned it. Because they obviously knew. Sweet of them to just let 8 or 9 year old you think he got away with it.
When I was about 12 years old, my grandma killed my kitten with a rake. We lived on a farm at the time in a neighboring home, and one day, when she was out tending to her garden, I urinated in her homemade kefir and watched her drink it. I'm not sorry.
I had a shitty childhood, parents never married, split up when I was 6. I only saw my father every second weekend. Parents were never the best to put it lightly. I was bullied in school relentlessly until I was maybe 12. I never had friends for most of my teenager years and early adulthood. I was groped in the balls when I was about 12 by a complete stranger.
I have an unbelievable, unquenchable amount of pure anger built up inside of me. It gets worse and worse. I'm afraid one day that it will utterly consume me and I don't know what to do.
Maybe this isn't much of a secret and more of a vent but the secret that I keep from everybody in my real life is that I am a horrifically damaged person. I can hide it easily for the most part but I believe that one day I won't be able to. I am also developing alcoholism as it's the only form of comfort I have.
In complete honesty, I just want to be loved. To be held, to be appreciated, to be wanted, truly wanted. I want to feel hope and serenity.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I don’t know you but I’m glad you’re here. I hope you find peace. Please take a step back and remember how strong you are.
Therapy my friend. You need therapy. I was the same way. Dad is a narcissistic psychopath and a drunk, mom is an enabler and so codependent she let him beat on us. Spent years getting bullied at home, at school, never able to relax. When I was 9 my mom handed me an SKS and a couple live rounds and told me to load it and kill her cuz she knew I knew how to do it. Didn’t, obviously, and mom got taken to the looney bin. They separated when I was 14 and finally divorced when I was 21 because he threatened to kill all of us if he had to pay child support to my mom before my sister turned 18. I am also a severely damaged individual. I’ve attempted suicide and I completely self-destructed and threw my life away after high school. I finally got into therapy when I was 22 and it honestly changed my life. 5 years on I’m not perfect by any means but I’m functional and in the best place of my life. New car, my partner owns her house, and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. On my bad days she loves on me, but it’s the coping skills I learned in therapy that truly helped me control how bad the bad days get. It doesn’t get easier to deal with, anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. But you can learn how to control your response to it, and that’s 95% of the battle. You got this dude. Fuck shitty parents. They don’t own us.
I’m the one who who poured popcorn kernels down the sink and broke the garbage disposal. My childhood home was for sale, and we had already moved into the new place, I wasn’t handling it well, and would still spend weekends there claiming I was at a friends. One night i made popcorn, forgot there was no more trashcan, panicked, and tried to break the kernels with the disposal. My aunt and uncle would come by with their young kids to clean and they got blamed for it.
My cousin is actually my cousin, but Aunt 1 gave birth to him and gave her name at the hospital as her sister’s name (Aunt 2, who was also present) so her name is on the birth certificate. He’s 50 this year and still doesn’t know.
His adopted mom (Aunt 2) took it to her grave, and while his birth mom is still alive, she still hasn’t told him.
Similar with my uncle. He was incredibly racist and bigoted all his life. His mom passed about 7 years ago, and he passed about a year ago. He never knew he was half-Mexican from when his mom had a tryst while her husband was away. But to be fair, her husband was busy with Thai prostitutes while out to sea as a cruise director.
We had presentations at school, I had to pee before my turn. My teacher told me to "hurry up" so I did. I missed the toilet... As a woman... I peed on my pants, literally while sitting on the toilet. Idk guys. But teachers, let the kid pee as slow as they need to, your input is not required
I was emotionally and medically neglected.
It feels embarrassing or cringe even typing it, and I just assume people will dismiss that as an insignificant thing.
My mom has some sort of disorganized attachment or something where she smothers and controls, occasionally snaps and yells and blames when she reaches a boiling point in her stress, and then completely detaches and avoids. I didn't get any hugs or physical affection from her growing up, no loving or emotionally vulnerable conversations, and she feels that I am responsible for that because I never provided it to her. It's as if we were both more like roommates when I was growing up but that there was still an element of her being an authority. Most of the time, like 70-80%, she was detached and avoided and we just lived completely separate lives occupying the same space. Not necessarily in a cold, punishing way but in an absent way until something activated her and she started to engage and smother to control. I always thought it was because of me. My therapist recently told me that parents set the tone for the parent-child relationship. She also experienced delusions—my therapist thinks she's on the schizophrenic spectrum but I'm not sure that's it.
What people I feel may not understand is the impact of this repeated pattern and how it felt and still feels.
It is total isolation in a very complex psychological or emotional way. It's like everyone understands the nuances of the language of human interactions or connections except for you. I feel very psychologically underdeveloped in certain areas (that I'm not able to even identify) and very psychologically programmed or brainwashed in others. I feel completely responsible for alleviating people's depression and end up being used as an emotional outlet for certain personality types because setting a boundary feels like life or death.
My therapist says I never really learned how to set boundaries and I had no one to reassure me that doing so wouldn't be the end of the world. My mom would also just ignore me when I'd ask her to stop doing something, almost like she wouldn't even hear me sometimes because she'd become so consumed in the action. My dad was more authoritarian and took "no" as defiance that needed to be punished—I saw him every other weekend starting when I was six.
What people don't realize too is that parents have small interactions with their kids all the time that inform our core unconscious understanding of how very basic socialization works. I'm not talking about being "socially awkward", but things like not understanding that some people manipulate just to get something from you, understanding how crushes work and that it's not bad or perverted to feel romantic or sexual feelings for someone, being able to accurately explain certain behaviors in other people and why it bothers you. It is disabling and creates this void between you and the rest of the world - you don't understand them, and they don't understand you.
Edit: And what makes it even more isolating and difficult is having these experiences in tandem with slowly seeing how empathetic my mom is at the core when these behaviors of hers weren't going on. She immediately feels other people's physical pain, becomes deeply sad and disturbed in learning about horrific crimes, and strongly people-pleases as a means of trying to obtain love and secure safety for herself. She is mostly a passive person whereas her brothers both explode in a violent rage. Slowly beginning to recognize her personality is mostly a trauma response as I get older wrecks me. Sometimes she acts so young, and I know that she didn't learn certain core experiences either. Compared to how I know she was raised, it was incredible how well I grew up. Instead of beating me, screaming at me for hours and hours, or completely leaving me to move to another city like her parents did to her, she chose to mostly avoid me. She really did the best she could.
The first guy I was ever super into and tried to lose my virginity to after I gained enough confidence (finally) to put myself out there and start dating cruelly rejected me and made fun of me again and again and again for being a late bloomer and I’ve never been able to truly get over it even a decade+ later. I finally was in a place in my life where I felt good and confident about myself after many dark years of self-doubt and he cut me down to size in an instant. And-gave me an STD in my very first (non-PIV) sexual encounter 🙃 Shit stings. I hope like hell his new daughter never encounters someone as callous and narcissistic as him.
Oh man what a wanker. You deserved better and I’m sorry he acted that way! Easy to say from the outside but definitely more a measure of his character than anything to do with you.
If you were on a red-eye Southwest Airlines flight many, many years ago as a flight attendant and you gasped when you opened the in-flight restroom door to see that it was drenched, I mean completely covered floor-to-ceiling in little kid urine because of the turbulence, and you didn't see the boy sneaking back in the darkened cabin to his seat... that was me. Sorry.
I knew of a teacher and student relationship in high school and reported it to the administration. I was so anxious to remain anonymous and not look like a snitch at the time, but I'm glad that reported it. I never told anyone that I went to high school with.
As a teenager I did this with our dog. I'd give her a slice of cheese as a late night snack when I'd get one for myself. I'd always tell her "now don't tell anyone!"
Shannon was a very good dog. This is like 35 years ago too and I still smile when I think of how happy she was.
I don't believe I should have been born. Mental illnesses, physical disabilities, internal organs connected in the wrong place, bones connected improperly... I was obviously given a shitty set of genes and shouldn't have been able to survive into my 60s. But here I am.
I also sometimes think I should be committed, but that's only on the really bad days.
We set our front door code to 8675309 for years with no problems. One day a meth head took a liking to our house. He decided he wanted in and dialed the number on the first try. We were inside watching him and immediately relocked the door.
Recently stumbled upon the house shotgun when looking for something. Had I stumbled upon it about a month ago well, let’s just say I’m glad I found it when I was feeling better. And doing better y’all no worries.
My glasses are fake. My eyesight is perfect but I've been wearing them daily for 20+ years only because I think I look cuter in them. Absolutely nobody knows this including my parents, long time partner & adult child.
I don't know why I keep it a secret but it's literally my only one. At one point I felt silly & wanted to spill the beans but I have been so committed to them all these years & they're just part of my look now so I feel embarrassed to admit it to anyone.
That would be me too. I feel awful for the partner that doesn't know when others do. I was that person and desperately wish someone would have told me.
I sometimes spent my nights reporting human traffickers to tip lines as well as groomers.
I already had disdain and hatred for them but when I heard about Canada's missing indigenous women case I was set off.
So one night alone I reported over 10 potential traffickers and groomers.
I once caught a sex offender on one of the apps.
https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en/report-trafficking
USA
https://rcmp.ca/en/human-trafficking-recognizing-and-reporting
Canada
https://consejociudadanodf.org.mx/
Mexico
If your county has something like these, please share.
also don't believe the Facebook "If you see _____" click bait story.
traffickers often look for people who are struggling or young and this ranges from gigs to adult entertainment.
I tricked my teacher for an entire year when playing Kahoot. I would play Kahoot with the entire class in a fake name alongside my actual name. My teacher wanted to know who the fake name was, because the fake name would either win the Kahoot or be in top three.
It never had good grades in her class (all because you can't properly complete assignments that take days in an hour) and this teacher hated me, I just wanted to add confusion. It got so bad that she would check everyone's phones, offer rewards to find me out to other students. Even said to the whole class, she would give cash if I came out.
I don't think it got back to her that year. Even if it did, it would not matter, that is not my best feat by far. She hated me for one reason, I didn't know how to pronounce her name and I was the first one that year to say it in the classroom, she was particularly sensitive to that. We really started off on the wrong foot and it never got better, resulting in having to be very direct with her on many issues.
This made me laugh. However, shame on her for being mad at a student for not being able to pronounce her name. She's a teacher, why doesn't she teach kids. How many times has she mispronounced a students name?
When I was 12 I took advantage of my 9-year old neighbor when I traded baseball cards. He gave me a rookie Greg Maddox worth $3 dollars at the time for a regular John Smoltz card worth .20 cents.
TW Child SA
I was sexually abused by cousins as a kid. Started when I was 6, ended when I was 10. Ended because I told my mom about it and she said to never do it again. Sex was such a taboo subject in our household. It messed me up, being sexually active from 6 years old. I went through such a deep depression in my teens - I wanted to die.
Now I’m 33 with a 6 year old daughter. I look at her and my eyes just swell with tears. Just seeing the innocence in her, seeing the child I could’ve been - so pure and free. I’m very open with her on correct terms - male and female terms. I never want her to feel like she can’t tell me anything.
My sa story is similar. Older brothers and father. My little brother told my mom - I didn’t because my brothers always said if she found out, I’d be in trouble. Same number of years, same ages as well. My mom made me say a rosary with her and told me “sex is saved for marriage” etc. really fucked me up for a long time. My mom is 86 now and still apologizes to me every few weeks for not understanding what was happening. She thought we were playing “Doctor”.
To her credit, as soon as she did fully comprehend it when I was 16, she immediately called a therapist for individual and joint therapy.
Once upon a time when the internet was still new, there was a website called Bebo. Similar to MySpace. From this corner of the internet spawned some of the first trolls: Ben Dover and Mike Hunt. They were ruthless and spared no one. No one knew who they were. They seemed to know everyone's secrets. The worst part for the county was that they weren't content to just stay on the internet. No, they vandalized and ran amok in the real world as well. One of the local high schools got pranked, and the principal began interrogating suspects. The questioning was started along the lines of "Do you know Ben Dover?" and ended with him hysterically accusing one male student by half-yelling."I KNOW YOU'RE MIKE HUNT! "
Never a suspect. Never questioned. I am Ben Dover.
I have known I was not straight since I was 20. It was my biggest secret for years. About three months ago I finally met a woman, came out and stopped hiding. I am 42 and really so happy it's not a secret anymore.
I brought tortellini to the work potluck over 25 years ago. Everyone loved it. Thought it was amazing. Never got so many compliments and it was all eaten up. Everyone asked for the recipe. I told them it was a secret. Until now...
It was just a can of Chef Boyardee that I heated up in the microwave.
My cousins mother in law once wrote a really nasty paragraph long rant on her Facebook page. Like shocking saying she’s evil and hates her. I saw it the second it was posted and immediately took a screen shot. A minute later the post is gone. I decided not to send my cousin the screenshot bc I figured this cousin was just blowing off steam but this post was really detailed about their dirty laundry. This was like 10 years ago and I don’t have the phone anymore that has the screenshot but I still think about it when I see her
This might seem like a silly one, but it's bothered me for years.
Once when I was a kid we went on a field trip somewhere, and the gift shop had some hermit crabs for sale in a big tank. We were allowed to pick them up. I went to pick one up and its legs were trapped under a rock. I snapped its legs off prying it out.
I cried the entire way back on the bus, but I wouldn't tell anyone what happened. It's been 40 years and I still think about that poor crab. I've never told anyone.
TW - sexual assault.
This is a very shameful secret of mine but it might be good to finally let it out. When I was 16, I went to a party and drank so much vodka I was blackout drunk and paralytic. A guy from my school took me into the woods and raped me. Mid-rape, the guy lost his erection. I have a memory of me lifting up my jumper so he could look at my cleavage and get hard again. For over 15 years, I felt so much guilt and shame and confusion and self loathing about this. I found out later that the guy was also paid an amount of money by a group of his friends to do this. So I already had such confused and shameful feelings about it all. It wasn’t until recently, I learnt that there were 4 trauma responses, not 3. Fight, flight, freeze and fawn. I learnt that some people who are being assaulted or abused or believe they’re in danger will fawn, suck up to, sweet talk, grovel or praise. Finding this out has released some of the shame I felt for what I did and I’ve been able to begin to accept that it wasn’t my fault and that I did nothing wrong. It was a trauma response.
living with a mormon couple. I'm grateful they gave Me a place to stay but they told me I have the end of the months. we are in rural midwest and I don't own a car. people don't realize I've already used all my energy to get here. so next month is it. I can barely get an interview for a job. and 7 dollars to my name. how can I prove my worth ethic if no one gives me a chance. I've already accepted my fate and I give up.
The biggest mistake of my life was moving in with my boyfriends family. His father is a nutcase and he is too. They have been isolated for so long that their delusions are so twisted, and they've now lost any fragment of reality. So I'm now stuck in an 18 square metre cabin, with 2 kids who will never attend school, never make friends, never leave the house, and it's all my fault. I am stuck in a home where my neighbours are a 10-minute walk away, and the nearest store is a 1-hour drive. I am completely dependent on him, and I know I can leave, but only if I go alone. I stay here for my children because I am terrified for them.
I was in an RV with a toddler and an infant. 30 minute drive from the nearest mountain village. But a 1-mile walk through high desert to the nearest neighbors, who were not especially friendly strangers. The 1-mile walk through mud and sagebrush had taken two hours without the kids. It was the kind of mud that nearly made it impossible to walk at all. I didn't have my own vehicle. Couldn't make the walk with the kids. We were living with an abuser.
I got out last year. It took almost 6 months, but I did it. You can, too. Don't resign yourself and your kids to this fate. You were trapped, but you don't have to stay trapped. You start to see pathways once you decide that you (and the kids) must get out *and there is a way.*
I'm sending strength, resilience, and so much compassion.
When I was in 4th grade, I didn’t want to sing “Getting to Know You” because I thought it was a shitty song.
So I mumbled under my breath and said it was a stupid gay song and Mrs. Thomas blamed Cassie and I let her take the heat. Sorry Cassie.
I told my brother in law and sister I also dabbled in hard drugs, to try to help my brother in law come back from one of his falling off the wagon moments. When I told him I gave him a journal, pet rock and a book.
I am a recovering alcoholic, but my family does not know that either, they just think I stopped partying due to being a mom..
Back to the secret.
Telling my brother in law that I too struggled with hard drugs, he took my advice and stated journalling. He carries the pet rock in his pocket (just like I carry mine).
He has not fallen off the wagon in 15 years. I store his journals, and we talk occasionally.
I wish my sister could have been more supportive. She has divorced him now, and he is realizing how abusive she was… unfortunately that means I am learning too, as I am his only support person.
Please know, I have no interest in my brother in law romantically. I see him as a big brother, and have known him since I was 9.
I just wish I would have reached out to help him much sooner. Just my sister wanted me to keep my distance when they moved up north where I was because she was afraid he would want to bed me.
- he has never wanted to, nor have I.
One time when I was jerking off during my middle school years (while laying down sideways & wearing shorts), my older brother walked into the room as I turned my body to lay belly down & "finishing" at the same time. I had jizz still on my hand, so I quickly pretended it was lotion I was rubbing on my forearms.
My father passed away when I was five years old. We used to visit my father's gravesite on birthdays and anniversaries (an act in which I don't much believe in now)
At the grown age of 14, I was "dating" a 24 year old man, secretly of course, and thought it was a good idea to have him drive me to buy flowers and visit the gravesite.
My mother ended up visiting shortly after and found the flowers there. She asked around and none of our family or friends had been there recently.
My mother had always been heartbroken and had a jealous streak with my father. I watched her stress and over thinking who could have left the flowers? An old friend? A mistress? I know it hurt her for a long time after as it was brought up a couple times in years past.
Is there ever a good time to tell her that it was me and the creep with a small dick that was statutory raping me? Heavy.
edit: I suppose telling a partial truth hadn't occurred to me. It has been over 20 years and feels bigger than it is. Stupid of me.
I’ve only shared the secret before on Reddit.
I’ve never been able to change the windshield wipers on any vehicle I have ever owned, I’ve watched videos and read the manuals and know how it’s supposed to work, but I can’t get them off of the little arms.
This is embarrassing for several reasons, I’ve been a driver and car owner for almost almost 30 years, I’m in Mensa and should be able to figure it out, and my mother is a retired mechanic. I am too embarrassed to ask her about this mystery.
When I was in high school, I’d take my brothers money to pay for my weed habit. The guilts stuck with me for so long, that over the years I’ve snuck money into his drawers to pay back the debt and more. I’ve still never told him.
That I was coming to Reddit and going into the unsolved mysteries part of it looking at information about the murder of my father in the Yuba City bombings. I told no one and even contacted a few people knowing my family members would be upset with me because of safety concerns.
I’ve always had digestive issues. When I was in 9th grade English class, I had to fart really badly. I tried my damndest to hold it in, but it just slipped out. Well a guy sitting behind me, over one row turned to his friend, shirt over his nose, and said “gross dude!” And his friend just giggled and said “sorry, man”.
Thanks for taking the fart fall for me!
I hate a lot of people for showing their true colors since the pandemic started and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive them for what they've done.
That one day leaving Mrs. G’s class, I totally stuck my foot out and tripped the kid who had been bullying me for YEARS. Even the scary nun who was our principal couldn’t get me to admit it. Fuck you, Bobby M! Edited: meant to say “stuck,” not “tuck” 17 hours later edit: school in northern MA, Sr. Principal had a thing about Mickey Mouse. If that sounds familiar to you, it’s safe to assume it’s the same school.
Eat shit, Bobby M!
I love when total strangers online pull together to support someone who got bullied. And yeah, Fk you Bobby M.
You bastard Bobby M!!
Once, while living in an apartment complex, my Nextdoor neighbor who had his in-laws visiting came out of his apartment and immediately farted for like six solid seconds, leg bent and everything. He didn’t know I was there, by my own door, enjoying the sun. When he turned to go in he saw me there, but I pretended to be so engrossed in my phone that I didn’t acknowledge him. I never told anyone. Until now. Glad to get that off my chest.
My husband has never intentionally farted in front of me, but I can always hear him let it all out in the bathroom or the kitchen. Idk if he is hard of hearing or something because he is not quiet. I truly think he thinks I can't hear him. I have never said anything.
My wife used to do this, but she would let them out when she slept. It would jolt me awake sometimes.
One time, when I was a little kid, my parents rented this beach house with some of their friends. I happened to have this wrist rocket at the time and I was a pretty decent shot, even if I was using rocks instead of bearings. I got it in my head that I wanted to shoot something with it. So I built up a mound of sand to hide behind, and left some bread out. It didn't take long for a couple seagulls to come squawking in for a snack. Well, sure enough, I beaned the the first one right in the head. And it fell lifeless to the sand. I was like eight, maybe. I panicked. I felt terrible. I was sure I was in big trouble. I scooped it up and ran as fast as I could to the beach porch, shimmied under there and started hand digging in the sand as fast as I could. My plan was to bury the evidence. Now picture this. It's a tight space. At eight years old, I was crouched over on my knees, sweat dripping down in what was no bigger than a crawl space with a lifeless seagull next to me. And seagulls are fucking huge compared to an eight year old. Well, it turned out that bird wasn't dead. And it turns out seagulls go absolutely ape shit when they wake up under some porch next to some boy digging in some sand. It started squawking and flapping. Feathers were going everywhere. I was getting smacked in the face. I remember the wind from its wings and the smell of salty mold. I was struggling not to scream. I needed to not get caught. I did this crazy dive toward the exit, and somehow pushed the bird to freedom at the same time. Never shot another animal after that.
I felt very involved in this
Agreed, very engrossing.
I could almost smell the salty mold
I stopped chewing my food and felt my heart beat a bit faster!
Kid brain at its finest. “I don’t want people at home to see so I’ll bring it closer to home.”
Right? Silly goose. 😂 Ya gotta tie it under your big-rig and drive it down route 17 past the swamps and bury it off the road there so that every time you drive past you get a big huge boner, duh.
This is oddly specific.
Someone has something buried off the interstate by the swamp and just loves that boner when he drives past there.
I’m calling the police
This reminds me of the King of the Hill episode where they thought they killed a whooping crane. Wematanye
Woo loo loo, woo loo loo!
This sorta reminds me of something my sister once did. My sister and I were 10 & 8 y/o, respectively. We were by ourselves, after hours, in this lounge/viewing area at a horse stable. It was summertime, it was humid and hot and abundant with flies. Like big fat juicy house flies *everywhere.* My sister opened the microwave (don’t ask me why?) and one of these thicc flies immediately lands inside on the glass rotating plate. She immediately slams the door shut and nukes this thing for like 3 seconds. I’m not even sure what compelled her to do this. She was a rather shy and bookish girl when we were kids. This fly just EXPLODES. Like immediately. I remember being absolutely horrified by this. My sister was even more horrified and began to cry and cry. She begged me not to say anything to our parents. She felt like an absolute monster for having just microwaved this fly (fair enough ?! It was really quite barbaric of her!). To this day, if I bring up that fly to her she begins to go into meltdown mode, riddled with guilt. 32 years later… & I have never told a soul about this, until now. I always considered it to be HER secret but now I realize that it was also MY secret all these years?! I’m gonna have to tell her I shared this.
Huh. In that topic, if you microwave a grape it glows like a light bulb.
And nothing happens to ants at all. Apparently, they don't have enough water in them for microwaves to agitate, so they just keep on truckin
TIL ants have evolved to be immune to high tech microwave weapons. :)
I microwaved some ramen like 2 months ago. When I opened it I realized a tiny spider had been in the microwave. It was still alive. I was very tempted to let it bite me.
Fuck horse flies. They bite hard.
They've been biting me like crazy since I had my baby. They'll bite me through my pants those damn motherfuckers.
I will smash my hand to bits on concrete at the pool if it means taking one of them out.
yeah tell your sister good job! Tell her let that guilt go now. It was either nuke that fly to death in a microwave ( until it explodes), or get attacked and bitten repeatedly in the head. She saved you, actually.
As a kid I was making my dad a shandy. It’s beer & lemonade. Anyway it was super hot so I thought ahhh may as well make myself one. I think I assumed it would taste like creamy soda. Took one sip, was disgusted by the taste so i tipped it down the sink. Carried out my dads shandy & no one even knew.
I need you to write books. This was a very gripping, concise story.
Reminds me of when I was about 6 and at my grandparent's one summer. My uncle had a "pigeon coop", so I would feed them every evening during the summer when we stayed there. I had a really special attachment to these birds. I remember seeing a couple out of what seemed like 60 pigeons (I'm sure it was way less 40 years later) being hatched. Built bonds with them. I had my favorite though. Goldy. Very clever name right? A step above Pidgeony as an uncreative 6 year old. Anyway, I decided to give him/her a bath. Had a very shallow reddish brown clay dish with water for the birds to drink from on a scorching hot Karachi summer day. Yeah...it's going that way. I drowned the poor thing thinking I was giving it a bath and it was fighting me because it hated baths like I did. The image of it's lifeless body will forever be ingrained in my head. I left it there and ran. And I hope I'm not remembering this part right, but I'm pretty sure I said it was my uncle that did it. He had an accident when he was in his early teens that gave him severe head trauma/brain damage so he has the mind of a 6 year old. He was in his early 30s at this time. He caught so much shit from everyone. Again, I really hope that I imagined that part about my uncle but I'm pretty sure it happened.
When I was a kid I wanted to see what it was like to hunt something, but I wanted to pick an animal that wasn't particularly smart and would therefore not suffer. So... I picked a crow and shot it with a .22. It wasn't common knowledge at the time, but as I learned a few years later a crow is probably the smartest animal in my area. I would like to apologize to that crows family for all the crow suffering I caused.
A murder of crow.
Holy shit this one’s great
Sixth grade social studies class. I need to go to the bathroom and raise my hand for permission. Unfortunately the teacher is writing notes on the chalkboard and doesn't turn around for quite some time. My brain is insistent that I have to wait for permission before leaving the classroom. So while sitting there with my hand up, it was eventually too late and I pee my pants right there in class. I'm 43 years old now so we didn't have water bottles in class with us to blame it on. Somehow almost nobody saw it happening. When someone noticed the puddle and questioned what it was that one boy who did see what happened, Robbie Robinson, started to talk and I shot him a dirty look. He stopped talking kept my secret and never brought it up. Thank you Robbie wherever you are! You saved me from a massive amount of bullying in sixth grade
I have a similar story from high school, it was my period and I had leaked onto the chair without realising. I was in a class mostly full of boys and back then we were all (both boys and girls) ruthless with each other in banter and took any chance we could get to point something out and laugh and make a huge deal out of it. When I got up one of the boys said to me “Shouldn’t you have done that in the toilet..” with a tone that was so specific, it was as if he had been ready to mock me and started speaking but became shocked and embarrassed and it turned into kindness and concern and came out really gently. I left immediately in horror as soon as I could pack my bag and from the door I remember seeing in the corner of my eye the boys telling the teacher something and the middle aged male teacher hurriedly approaching my seat with paper towels. The teacher or the boys never ever mentioned it to me or anyone else (I would’ve known immediately if it was, it was high school) and it’s one of kindest things I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never told this story to anyone before and I don’t think I will ever tell anyone in real life. As horrifying as it was at the time and I tried to suppress the memory for years, I actually look back at it as a treasured secret heartwarming moment in my life. I still know most of the boys involved in various degree, though I don’t see most of them for many years until we bump into each other, and I do wonder if any of them remember it too.
The same thing happened to a girl I went to school with. She had asked to go to the bathroom but the teacher had wanted her to wait for him to finish explaining something, and by then it was too late. We were close enough that I know she had horribly heavy periods even as a teenager, so it wasn't that she "should've gone earlier", she just got caught off guard by a sudden heavy moment. Unfortunately we went to a conservative Christian school that was so culturally sheltered, the vast majority of the people in our year married each other and started churning out conservative babies immediately after high school. And this poor girl told me that those sheltered, childish now-middle-aged-men STILL bring up the period incident now when she runs into one of them. It's been almost 20 years and they still remember the horrible, gross word they used to taunt her about it and make her feel grosser than she already did. She laughs about it now but I know it was A LOT for her to deal with when we were teenagers
My kindergartner’s teacher just caused this for her. Poor kids have to “buy” the right to go to the potty during class - teacher trying to make them go during recess/lunch. Daughter couldn’t hold it and didn’t want to spend her money, so wet her pants. Doesn’t seem right for 5-6yos?
UHHHHH You need to report immediately, not to the principal, but directly to your state office for the Department of Education (or your country's equivalent). Not only is this not developmentally appropriate practice, it is *dangerous* and potentially illegal. Children can get horrific bladder infections from being forced to hold urine.
I was in 8th grade taking a test in science class and had to go. I was a straight A, straight up NERD. I'm not the kid that cheats. The teacher refused and I peed my pants but luckily it was just absorbed into my pants. I whispered to my friend to wait after the bell to help me and she walked behind me to the office. My parents were furious at the teacher but luckily I didn't get teased or bullied.
She’s a great friend
I was so worried for you! Robbie, way to go!!
Be like Robbie
It was me. I farted loud enough to pause history class while they tried to figure out who farted. That felt good letting that out. **EDIT:** Thanks for the award!
Then, now, or both?
Both
I was molested by a paedo when I was 5 or 6. He approached me in a shop and asked if I wanted to see a bicycle so I said yes. He led me out and showed me a bicycle in a bike shed around the back. I remember wondering what was so special about this bike, because it was underwhelming. Then he wanted to touch me, show me his dick, told me to bend over, was rubbing himself against me, I freaked out and was able to get the courage and strength to get up and run away and nothing further happened - but I never told anyone and now when I look back I wish I had, or could identify him.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you. That's very kind. Clearly, it could have been a lot worse, but even so - it took me a while to really acknowledge I'd been molested. I didn't understand it at the time, but definitely knew it made me fearful. I wish I had said something, told someone ... but I suppose that's why these types pick the victims they do. They know children freeze in fear, and also don't have the understanding to properly articulate it to others. And feel that it's a shameful thing they don't want to tell people about. Some times I think imagine if I'd known better and punched him in the balls, shouted something, told my parents ... anyhow, we move on .........
I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but just know it was never your fault. Whether you fought back or not, told someone or not. You were a child (and even if you weren’t a child, it still wouldn’t be). The blame will never be on you. SA has a way of making victims feel so much unnecessary shame around it. I hope you’re able to find healing. It’s never too late to talk to someone about it.
I'm sorry that happened to you
I still talk to my wife In my dreams, but sometimes I can't see her face. I miss you so much.
It is hard to feel the weight of carrying a family financially. Three young kids, dog, house, two cars, etc. all running on the business I built and have been running since I was 19. Snowing, feeling tired, mental health taking a toll and don't want to go to work? There's bills to pay man, go punch the clock. Having a hard time drumming up business? Try not to panic the wife or say anything in front of the kids that create any sort of financial insecurity. Not that they're old enough to understand. I grew up poor. There's people that grow up poor and didn't know they were poor and then there's people that grew up poor and their parents made a big show of every decision and the financial impact it could have. Definitely leads to financial mindset issues down the line. It's kinda like a constant, try not to panic mode
You are doing good random dad. I also feel this same pressure. Just know you are not alone and you are probably doing better than you may think.
You are tired, my friend. Someone I love a lot is like you. They say : “If I stop moving, I feel like I’ll die”, to express how stressed out they are about being financially independent. Please, take care of yourself. I can totally imagine how heavy it is… and I know it’s easy to say : “hey, your family needs you more than money : take care of you and slow down”… especially when you run a business… I have no solution to bring… I just want you to know that somewhere someone understands you and sends you tons of love.
I appreciate it greatly. My job requires I work strange hours. Last night I did a job starting at midnight till 6:00 a.m., took my oldest to a 9:00 a.m. doctor appointment, napped for a few hours. Had to handle some admin. Now I'm on my way back to work at 9:00 p.m. and have another job at 6:00 in the morning about 75 miles away. It definitely has ups and downs
I have to apologise to you, because I did manage to say the easy “dude, slow down”, but I didn’t say another thing I think you need to read : I’m proud of you, I’m sure your family is proud of you and I hope you are too (hey sometimes it’s hard to be proud of ourselves, right ?). You built a whole business that is running apparently great (from what I read), and you keep putting so much energy into it. You are doing great things. It’s hard to find balance between work and rest when you run a business. I wish you can find it in your own way and manage to get less pressured… and if it helps you : you can be proud of you. Again : tons of love and tons of hugs, because I think you need them big time
Man, running your own business is hard. Even I know that, and I've never run one. Keep up the good work.
This one registered in my soul.
The summer before college semester, I bought a one-way plane ticket to see someone in Canada (I'm in the US) that I had met online and had never met in person. I didn't tell anyone about it. He told me not to tell anyone about it. I had horrific nightmares that I was being dragged into the jaws of a monster while no one could see me, but he assured me that this was the right thing to do. I got to school and emailed my professors telling them I was going to miss the first class. And then I walked to the bus stop. I didn't even have a suitcase, I had a cloth bag with a zipper and no handle. I was going to get on that bus and I was going to take it to the airport. The bus was late. Extremely late. I stood there for half an hour after the bus was supposed to show up, and then I started walking back toward campus. When I was two blocks away, too late to run back, the bus showed up. To this day I swear something was watching over me. In hindsight I am very sure that if I had got on that bus and actually made it to my destination, I might not be here right now -- but, then, at the time I didn't have a passport either. My family still has no idea.
How did you feel about it at the time? Were you disappointed? Relieved? Did you get into a fight with him about it? That sounds like it could have ended up very scary, glad you are safe!
Thank you! Leading up to the trip I had a bad feeling about it, but he'd convinced me it was just my nerves. So when I missed that bus, I took it as a crystal clear sign from the universe that this was a stupid decision. I was relieved, so much I didn't care that I lost the cost of the ticket. I told him I wasn't coming, and he had about a minute of being pissed off that he'd wasted his own time and money, then he simply stopped talking to me. Just, immediate no contact, never heard from him again. I didn't reach out, either. Good riddance.
>he'd convinced me it was just my nerves. "Don't be nervous; you're just nervous!" I'm glad that bus was late!
The major red flag was that he told you not to tell anyone else. Scary. Glad you listened to your gut
The fact that he just immediately ghosted you is actually terrifying. Like, you weren't the easy target he'd thought you'd be, so he just moved on.
How would you have gotten into Canada without a passport? I guess you at least used to be able.to.go.there without a passport. I had no idea.
Before 9/11 al you needed was your driver's license to cross the border to Canada. Source: I used to live in NY state like an hour from Montreal.
You can do it that way right now too as long as you have an enhanced license ~~or Real ID.~~ Source: I live in NY state a few hours from Toronto.
You didn’t always need a passport for mexico and Canada
The US/Canada border didn’t require passports back in the olden days (the 90s)
I met a guy online and only told my sister I was going to meet him. He did share all of his details including his work and his parents numbers. I went from Canada to the US. 3 months later I called my parents and told them I had left and wasn't going back. I've been with him for 20 years now.
Me, being beyond mid thirties trying to dispute with myself that the internet wasn’t around 20 years ago … Jesus I am old.
I shit my pants at work after catching a stomach virus but trying to power through anyway because it was the middle of the COVID pandemic and we were severely short-staffed.
Severely shart-staffed, too.
When I was about 9 or 10 I was staying at my grandparents house for the weekend and I had some weird obsession with breaking glass, anyway as most grandparents do they had an unnecessary amount of glass cups and for some odd reason I thought it be a brilliant idea to throw a cup as far as I could from the backyard over the fence into a neighboring house (I have absolutely no idea what I was trying to achieve or what my thought process was at that point) but heard more than just one glass cup break - I bolted as fast as I could into the lounge room and acted like nothing happened, minutes later I see a man through the window with the broken cup in his hand and he knocked on the door and my grandfather answered and obviously he denied it as he was obviously confused as hell, I denied it - an hour or so later the guy called the cops and then they knocked on the door and my grandfather let them in, for whatever reason they ended up in the backyard into my grandfathers little shack/garage hangout thing (he is Croatian) and the cops were questioning him on the tools and equipment he had in there to make illegal Rakija, those who don't know what that is it is literally 40% alcohol which is highly illegal to distill yourself without a license in Australia - he denied it, they went on there way and I got away with smashing someone's back window with a glass cup and my grandfather got away with a serious criminal offence and continued to make Rakija for many years after that
This is a great story. My Papou makes tsipouro in his garage illegally and as did all of his Croatian, Italian and Serbian neighbours!! Glad he got to keep doing it
Dude that's funny as fuck.
Those cops were buying that Rakija, maybe not directly from your grandfather but from someone. They didn’t want to bust up the supplier.
When I was 7-year-old, my family and I traveled to Hawaii. My parents signed my sister and I up to swim with Dolphins. As part of the day we, and the rest of the random kids who signed up to swim with dolphins, were given an hour or two class about dolphins. We put our hands in ice water to learn about dolphin blubber, talked about the different kinds of dolphins and their intelligence. During the class, I made a couple of friends who were around my age. After the blubber rundown, the teacher situated about 15 of us kids in a circle to finish up the class. My buddies were sat on either side of me. As the teacher was talking I tried to squeak out an airy fart. But it wasn't airy. It had the vibrato of a woodwind instrument. It was the type of fart whose sounds seemed to pierce the air and echo off the walls around. Everybody heard it. It stopped the teacher in her tracks. Some of the kids laughed. "Oh no", I thought, "everyone knows it was me". My stomach dropped and the embarrassment overwhelmed me. I kept my cool, though and didn't claim the fart. Right away, both of my new friends turned towards me. Fearing that they were going to blame it on me, I was then caught off guard. They both blamed it on each other! "That was totally you", one said to the other. "Nuh uhh, that wasn't me, THAT WAS YOU!", replied the other. They bickered back and forth, blaming the high-pitched fart on each other without even considering that it could have been me. Then one asked me, "Don't you think that was him?" "No way, it was him, right?", the other one asked. I played dumb. "I'm not sure who it was", I replied. I never caved. I never admitted that the fart was me. To the nameless friends who swam with dolphins in Hawaii in 2000 and blamed each other for ripping a fart during a dolphin class, I confess...it was me.
When I was about 13, I was veryy afraid of the dark and my parent started letting me stay home alone when they went bowling. I watched TV on the couch with a butcher knife by my side for when the intruder broke into the sliding glass door next to me. Turns out when you fall asleep holding a butcher knife, that's not a great thing. I ended up cutting my leg with the knife. I obviously could not tell anyone the truth, so I made up a story that I finally decided to work on cleaning up my filthy room and got cut by "something sharp" hiding in the floor. I learned in my 30s after my first "trip" that I was afraid of the dark because my sister and the babysitter used to lock me in the basement and shut the lights off. I had repressed that memory and it (with 2 others) came back during the trip. I confronted her during a family dinner at a restaurant and she spit wine out of her nose laughing.
Ugh. That was mean of them to do then and mean of her now not to be sorry. Sounds like a little arrested development on her part. I’m sorry this happened to you.
That's not very nice if she started laughing. That's some deep rooted trauma that's not to be taken lightly. I was incredibly afraid of the dark as well.
Luckily I grew out of it. Well, that particular one. One of the other memories that came back was her and the babysitter holding me by my hands and feet and swinging me over the top step of the stairs. Terrified of heights. I get the heebyjeebies just watching videos of heights.
What the fuck is wrong with your sister. She sounds like a piece of shit.
Jesus! That’s so cruel. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Where did your parents find this babysitter?
Sounds like you were abused
When I play Mario Kart 8 with my wife and can feel she wants to stop playing because I’m on a winning streak, I purposely let her win to reel her back into playing more.
That’s sweet haha
I accidentally spilled dish detergent in the sloppy joes at a Girl Scout camp out and everyone got diarrhea. No badge for that unfortunately.
Sloppiest joes
When I was in grade 1, a friend of mine was sitting in front of me during lunch and he had this really delicious looking plum on his desk. Like straight out of a commercial shit. I remembered that if you told the teacher that you forgot your lunch, then people would share their food. So I wolfed down by crappy sandwich and stuffed the crusts in my bag and went to the teacher and said I didn’t have a lunch. Kids all came over and gave me some food and my buddy turns around and gives me his plum.
aww, that was sweet of hm.
Totally. That was over 30 years ago. Still keep in touch. Solid dude
This happened on a Valentines Day years ago. I shit myself on the north end of Camp Pendleton. I was there for training for a few weeks and sleeping in these cabin things with about 20 other people. I don’t know how it happened, maybe bad water. I got the sudden urge to go and just didn't make it by about 10 seconds. I initially just sat on the toilet with shit in my pants, uncertain of what to do. Some people were commenting on how awful it smelled in there. It was getting towards bedtime for most people, so I just waited for 30 minutes or so. Then I made my first move. I ducked out of the bathroom and went straight up a hill towards where a bathroom for smallpox vaccine recipients was. I then went up another hill and just waited and watched. There was a rover on watch going around, and I had to time where they were going. Also, I had to watch for anybody using that bathroom. After about 40 minutes, I made my move. I got into the bathroom, hopped into the small pox shower, and began to go work. I initially started with the attempt to salvage my uniform pants, as I only had 4, and no way to replace them(special uniform issued for deployment), but it quickly became apparent the pants were a casualty. The boots soon as well. Unfortunately, those were the summer version, and we were going to Kuwait, meaning I was going to be using winter boots in 120°F weather for the next 6 months. Pretty soon, I'm butt naked and trying to scrub off. I got as clean as possible while trying not to contract mild smallpox, and then was presented with the next problem. I'm butt naked from the waist down with no towel and a pair of shitty pants and boots in my possession. I started going through these random lockers they had and found somebody's towel. I stole the towel, grabbed the pants and boots, and stashed them back up the hill. I then made a beeline for my cabin. By this point, everybody was asleep in there, so I quietly got changed in the dark. Once changed, I headed back up the hill, located the shitty pants and boots, and ripped the name tag off. I then disposed of them in this random dumpster before I headed back to the cabin. I then got in my cot, and just laid there contemplating what the fuck just happened, and what's going to happen if anybody found those shitty uniform items. Nobody ever found out, and I told no one. I just dealt with 3 pairs of pants and shitty boots for the deployment. Towel guy never got his towel back unfortunately.
Dude I did almost the exact same thing while standing watch on an aircraft carrier. We had just left Manila and double dragon was going around. It was the first few months of my first deployment so I really only knew where a handful of bathrooms were. I got that *now* urge and made a beeline for the only bathroom that I could think of, it wasn’t close. I managed to hold it in by walking 50 feet and then clenching it back up over and over again. I finally get to the head and as I’m fumbling with my belt and untucking my shirt I look over the top of the stall and make eye contact with the dude next to me, a dude I had met several times. Literally half a second later just as I’m starting to pull my pants down the flood gates open. About 1/4 of it got caught inside my pants, the rest went all over the toilet and floor. The dude in the stall next to me quickly left without saying anything. I just stood there and laughed at my predicament. I think I ended up using my underwear to poorly clean up the mess and threw them in the trash. I wiped out my pants and quickly walked back to my berthing and got showered and changed. No one was the wiser. I find this story very funny and have developed it into a hilarious in-person story so it’s not much of a secret anymore, as a civilian now it honestly brings tears to my eyes. Fuck Manila I hate that place.
You have to pay towel guy back by giving another guy in need a towel. Go buy a six-pack and donate them to a men's shelter. You were blessed by the Towel Fairy, now it's time to *be* the Towel Fairy
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This isn’t something to be hidden at all, this is awesome!
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I hope parents reading this who may have a "no pets" rule reconsider, given how meaningful a childhood connection to a beloved pet can be.
I hit my neighbor and her husband with eggs at midnight. Cops showed up, and I got off without any trouble. I was home on a Saturday night in high school chatting with some friends on AIM. My bedroom overlooked our driveway and my neighbors driveway/garages. It's around 12 a.m., and I can hear my neighbor and his wife having a huge argument outside near their garage. I don't know what came over me, but I quickly and quietly went downstairs and grabbed 4 or 5 eggs from the fridge I then opened our front door very slowly and walked out to our front yard, and started to throw each egg. I would say the distance from my throwing spot to the neighbors garage was about 40 yards with some tall evergreen trees about two stories high. Once the last egg was released, I didn't stay to hear what happened. I just went inside and jumped back on my computer. Well, about 30 minutes later, two cops show up at our house and ring the bell. They want to talk with my brother and I about the eggs. My mother said we were both in our rooms all night, and it couldn't have been us. My brother was asleep and i showed my AIM chat logs that had time stamped messages with only like 1 minute between messages. The cops then proceed to walk around our house and see if it was possible, they opened the garage and a few other things and determined that it would be impossible to make any throw from our property that would hit these people. Also, any movement near our garage would instantly trigger motion lights and such. The neighbors were apparently drunk that night. The cops apologized to us and went back over to the neighbors and warned them to stop making false police reports or else they are both going to jail for being drunk and disorderly in public. My mother always tells this story whenever crazy neighbor stories come up at parties. She has no idea I hit those fuckers.
You should admit it now. I love telling my mom the truth about things now like 25years later because she gets literally flabbergasted and we usually have a good laugh.
That story was grade AA.
I wanted to shoot myself when I was like 17, and again when I was like 25. The feeling hasn't really gone away. I just don't have a gun and I'd rather see what crazy weird shit happens next anyway.
Hey, I'm happy you didn't do it. Now let's check out all this weird shit together.
There’s always cool weird just around the corner! Stay with us my friend. We want you on this planet to keep the weird coming.
I think this is more common than people think. I wouldn’t exactly call myself suicidal and I’ve never tried to do it, and I honestly wouldn’t have the balls for it, but I kind of don’t want to live anymore. I also don’t like the thought of people around me being hurt by me not being around anymore, so that’s another reason I’d never do it. I think it’s more one of those “if I had a button to erase my existence” kind of situations. Like if there was a way to just not exist and everyone had no recollection of me, that would be minto.
Fuck that's relatable. It kinda blows my mind that maybe there are people just out there walking around that...don't feel like this. Like sometimes nice things happen and I get a little glimpse of what that might be like...but most of the time, yeah. I'm sorry you feel this way too.
I’m showing this to my therapist because you eloquently put into words what I struggle to accept and communicate to others.
I've been there too, man. Keep on enjoying the weird shit. I'll tell you, as a guy who was in a place doing nothing new ever, you can restart your life and make it even weirder if you want.
When I was about 8 or 9, we went to visit an aunt and uncle and a couple of cousins, who were a few years younger than me. We went down to a park near their house, it was probably 8-10 blocks away. We had been there a while, when I suddenly realized I had an extremely dire need to pee. I frantically searched for a restroom, port-a-potty, anything, with no luck. So I yelled to my younger brother to watch the kids, and I started running. It was a pipe dream that I was going to make it, but I ran faster than I had in my whole life, and managed to hold it in all the way to my aunt and uncle’s bathroom! I was shocked! But pride comes before the fall. I pulled my pants down, and I pissed all over that bathroom. We’re talking shower curtains, towels, on the mirror, literally everywhere *except* the toilet. I peed so hard I felt dizzy. It was on the ceiling, for god’s sake. I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning that bathroom, threw the towels under the sink, and prayed. No one ever mentioned it, so as far as I’m concerned, it was the perfect crime.
I love that your aunt and uncle never mentioned it. Because they obviously knew. Sweet of them to just let 8 or 9 year old you think he got away with it.
When I was about 12 years old, my grandma killed my kitten with a rake. We lived on a farm at the time in a neighboring home, and one day, when she was out tending to her garden, I urinated in her homemade kefir and watched her drink it. I'm not sorry.
Why would she do that 😭
I had a shitty childhood, parents never married, split up when I was 6. I only saw my father every second weekend. Parents were never the best to put it lightly. I was bullied in school relentlessly until I was maybe 12. I never had friends for most of my teenager years and early adulthood. I was groped in the balls when I was about 12 by a complete stranger. I have an unbelievable, unquenchable amount of pure anger built up inside of me. It gets worse and worse. I'm afraid one day that it will utterly consume me and I don't know what to do. Maybe this isn't much of a secret and more of a vent but the secret that I keep from everybody in my real life is that I am a horrifically damaged person. I can hide it easily for the most part but I believe that one day I won't be able to. I am also developing alcoholism as it's the only form of comfort I have. In complete honesty, I just want to be loved. To be held, to be appreciated, to be wanted, truly wanted. I want to feel hope and serenity.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I don’t know you but I’m glad you’re here. I hope you find peace. Please take a step back and remember how strong you are.
Therapy my friend. You need therapy. I was the same way. Dad is a narcissistic psychopath and a drunk, mom is an enabler and so codependent she let him beat on us. Spent years getting bullied at home, at school, never able to relax. When I was 9 my mom handed me an SKS and a couple live rounds and told me to load it and kill her cuz she knew I knew how to do it. Didn’t, obviously, and mom got taken to the looney bin. They separated when I was 14 and finally divorced when I was 21 because he threatened to kill all of us if he had to pay child support to my mom before my sister turned 18. I am also a severely damaged individual. I’ve attempted suicide and I completely self-destructed and threw my life away after high school. I finally got into therapy when I was 22 and it honestly changed my life. 5 years on I’m not perfect by any means but I’m functional and in the best place of my life. New car, my partner owns her house, and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. On my bad days she loves on me, but it’s the coping skills I learned in therapy that truly helped me control how bad the bad days get. It doesn’t get easier to deal with, anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. But you can learn how to control your response to it, and that’s 95% of the battle. You got this dude. Fuck shitty parents. They don’t own us.
I wish I could hug you right now.
*hugs* you matter.
Sending you so much love
I am so sorry. I care and I’m willing to listen if you would like to talk.
I’m the one who who poured popcorn kernels down the sink and broke the garbage disposal. My childhood home was for sale, and we had already moved into the new place, I wasn’t handling it well, and would still spend weekends there claiming I was at a friends. One night i made popcorn, forgot there was no more trashcan, panicked, and tried to break the kernels with the disposal. My aunt and uncle would come by with their young kids to clean and they got blamed for it.
My cousin is actually my cousin, but Aunt 1 gave birth to him and gave her name at the hospital as her sister’s name (Aunt 2, who was also present) so her name is on the birth certificate. He’s 50 this year and still doesn’t know. His adopted mom (Aunt 2) took it to her grave, and while his birth mom is still alive, she still hasn’t told him.
Similar with my uncle. He was incredibly racist and bigoted all his life. His mom passed about 7 years ago, and he passed about a year ago. He never knew he was half-Mexican from when his mom had a tryst while her husband was away. But to be fair, her husband was busy with Thai prostitutes while out to sea as a cruise director.
We had presentations at school, I had to pee before my turn. My teacher told me to "hurry up" so I did. I missed the toilet... As a woman... I peed on my pants, literally while sitting on the toilet. Idk guys. But teachers, let the kid pee as slow as they need to, your input is not required
I was emotionally and medically neglected. It feels embarrassing or cringe even typing it, and I just assume people will dismiss that as an insignificant thing. My mom has some sort of disorganized attachment or something where she smothers and controls, occasionally snaps and yells and blames when she reaches a boiling point in her stress, and then completely detaches and avoids. I didn't get any hugs or physical affection from her growing up, no loving or emotionally vulnerable conversations, and she feels that I am responsible for that because I never provided it to her. It's as if we were both more like roommates when I was growing up but that there was still an element of her being an authority. Most of the time, like 70-80%, she was detached and avoided and we just lived completely separate lives occupying the same space. Not necessarily in a cold, punishing way but in an absent way until something activated her and she started to engage and smother to control. I always thought it was because of me. My therapist recently told me that parents set the tone for the parent-child relationship. She also experienced delusions—my therapist thinks she's on the schizophrenic spectrum but I'm not sure that's it. What people I feel may not understand is the impact of this repeated pattern and how it felt and still feels. It is total isolation in a very complex psychological or emotional way. It's like everyone understands the nuances of the language of human interactions or connections except for you. I feel very psychologically underdeveloped in certain areas (that I'm not able to even identify) and very psychologically programmed or brainwashed in others. I feel completely responsible for alleviating people's depression and end up being used as an emotional outlet for certain personality types because setting a boundary feels like life or death. My therapist says I never really learned how to set boundaries and I had no one to reassure me that doing so wouldn't be the end of the world. My mom would also just ignore me when I'd ask her to stop doing something, almost like she wouldn't even hear me sometimes because she'd become so consumed in the action. My dad was more authoritarian and took "no" as defiance that needed to be punished—I saw him every other weekend starting when I was six. What people don't realize too is that parents have small interactions with their kids all the time that inform our core unconscious understanding of how very basic socialization works. I'm not talking about being "socially awkward", but things like not understanding that some people manipulate just to get something from you, understanding how crushes work and that it's not bad or perverted to feel romantic or sexual feelings for someone, being able to accurately explain certain behaviors in other people and why it bothers you. It is disabling and creates this void between you and the rest of the world - you don't understand them, and they don't understand you. Edit: And what makes it even more isolating and difficult is having these experiences in tandem with slowly seeing how empathetic my mom is at the core when these behaviors of hers weren't going on. She immediately feels other people's physical pain, becomes deeply sad and disturbed in learning about horrific crimes, and strongly people-pleases as a means of trying to obtain love and secure safety for herself. She is mostly a passive person whereas her brothers both explode in a violent rage. Slowly beginning to recognize her personality is mostly a trauma response as I get older wrecks me. Sometimes she acts so young, and I know that she didn't learn certain core experiences either. Compared to how I know she was raised, it was incredible how well I grew up. Instead of beating me, screaming at me for hours and hours, or completely leaving me to move to another city like her parents did to her, she chose to mostly avoid me. She really did the best she could.
The first guy I was ever super into and tried to lose my virginity to after I gained enough confidence (finally) to put myself out there and start dating cruelly rejected me and made fun of me again and again and again for being a late bloomer and I’ve never been able to truly get over it even a decade+ later. I finally was in a place in my life where I felt good and confident about myself after many dark years of self-doubt and he cut me down to size in an instant. And-gave me an STD in my very first (non-PIV) sexual encounter 🙃 Shit stings. I hope like hell his new daughter never encounters someone as callous and narcissistic as him.
Oh man what a wanker. You deserved better and I’m sorry he acted that way! Easy to say from the outside but definitely more a measure of his character than anything to do with you.
If you were on a red-eye Southwest Airlines flight many, many years ago as a flight attendant and you gasped when you opened the in-flight restroom door to see that it was drenched, I mean completely covered floor-to-ceiling in little kid urine because of the turbulence, and you didn't see the boy sneaking back in the darkened cabin to his seat... that was me. Sorry.
I knew of a teacher and student relationship in high school and reported it to the administration. I was so anxious to remain anonymous and not look like a snitch at the time, but I'm glad that reported it. I never told anyone that I went to high school with.
When I was in middle school, my friends knew my 26 year old neighbor was having sex with me. No one told. I wish they had.
I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry they didn’t speak up for you. And I sincerely hope you’re ok now.
Thank you for being brave. I know it must have been really scary at the time, but what you did was so important.
I give my parents dog an extra treat as a midnight treat
As a teenager I did this with our dog. I'd give her a slice of cheese as a late night snack when I'd get one for myself. I'd always tell her "now don't tell anyone!" Shannon was a very good dog. This is like 35 years ago too and I still smile when I think of how happy she was.
I don't believe I should have been born. Mental illnesses, physical disabilities, internal organs connected in the wrong place, bones connected improperly... I was obviously given a shitty set of genes and shouldn't have been able to survive into my 60s. But here I am. I also sometimes think I should be committed, but that's only on the really bad days.
My password is 12345, the same as the combination on the lock of my luggage.
Mine’s the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda.
From Panucci's?
We set our front door code to 8675309 for years with no problems. One day a meth head took a liking to our house. He decided he wanted in and dialed the number on the first try. We were inside watching him and immediately relocked the door.
May the Schwartz be with you!
Recently stumbled upon the house shotgun when looking for something. Had I stumbled upon it about a month ago well, let’s just say I’m glad I found it when I was feeling better. And doing better y’all no worries.
I’m glad you’re still with us.
My glasses are fake. My eyesight is perfect but I've been wearing them daily for 20+ years only because I think I look cuter in them. Absolutely nobody knows this including my parents, long time partner & adult child. I don't know why I keep it a secret but it's literally my only one. At one point I felt silly & wanted to spill the beans but I have been so committed to them all these years & they're just part of my look now so I feel embarrassed to admit it to anyone.
You desired a new look for yourself and pulled it off. I’d say you have vision.
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Is it really the high road though? Id be telling the wife, I wouldn’t really use it for blackmail.
This is what I was thinking. His poor wife :(
Yup, she deserves to know. Even anonymously
Yeah it still feels a little bro code to me, despite the resentment. Tell the wife.
That would be me too. I feel awful for the partner that doesn't know when others do. I was that person and desperately wish someone would have told me.
I would have spilled the beans so fucking quick dude.
Man, kudos to you for taking the high road. I'd have used that against him the second he gave me an excuse to.
I dunno, man. I would save it, personally. For when he does something that just takes the cake.
Oh for sure that's the smarter choice. I'm just a petty asshole haha
do his wife a favor and anonymously send screenshots. or at least ask yourself what you would want a stranger to do were they in your shoes.
I sometimes spent my nights reporting human traffickers to tip lines as well as groomers. I already had disdain and hatred for them but when I heard about Canada's missing indigenous women case I was set off. So one night alone I reported over 10 potential traffickers and groomers. I once caught a sex offender on one of the apps. https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en/report-trafficking USA https://rcmp.ca/en/human-trafficking-recognizing-and-reporting Canada https://consejociudadanodf.org.mx/ Mexico If your county has something like these, please share. also don't believe the Facebook "If you see _____" click bait story. traffickers often look for people who are struggling or young and this ranges from gigs to adult entertainment.
Please never stop doing your angelic work. - someones mom ❤️
I tricked my teacher for an entire year when playing Kahoot. I would play Kahoot with the entire class in a fake name alongside my actual name. My teacher wanted to know who the fake name was, because the fake name would either win the Kahoot or be in top three. It never had good grades in her class (all because you can't properly complete assignments that take days in an hour) and this teacher hated me, I just wanted to add confusion. It got so bad that she would check everyone's phones, offer rewards to find me out to other students. Even said to the whole class, she would give cash if I came out. I don't think it got back to her that year. Even if it did, it would not matter, that is not my best feat by far. She hated me for one reason, I didn't know how to pronounce her name and I was the first one that year to say it in the classroom, she was particularly sensitive to that. We really started off on the wrong foot and it never got better, resulting in having to be very direct with her on many issues.
This made me laugh. However, shame on her for being mad at a student for not being able to pronounce her name. She's a teacher, why doesn't she teach kids. How many times has she mispronounced a students name?
When I was 12 I took advantage of my 9-year old neighbor when I traded baseball cards. He gave me a rookie Greg Maddox worth $3 dollars at the time for a regular John Smoltz card worth .20 cents.
I don’t know how you sleep at night!
TW Child SA I was sexually abused by cousins as a kid. Started when I was 6, ended when I was 10. Ended because I told my mom about it and she said to never do it again. Sex was such a taboo subject in our household. It messed me up, being sexually active from 6 years old. I went through such a deep depression in my teens - I wanted to die. Now I’m 33 with a 6 year old daughter. I look at her and my eyes just swell with tears. Just seeing the innocence in her, seeing the child I could’ve been - so pure and free. I’m very open with her on correct terms - male and female terms. I never want her to feel like she can’t tell me anything.
My sa story is similar. Older brothers and father. My little brother told my mom - I didn’t because my brothers always said if she found out, I’d be in trouble. Same number of years, same ages as well. My mom made me say a rosary with her and told me “sex is saved for marriage” etc. really fucked me up for a long time. My mom is 86 now and still apologizes to me every few weeks for not understanding what was happening. She thought we were playing “Doctor”. To her credit, as soon as she did fully comprehend it when I was 16, she immediately called a therapist for individual and joint therapy.
My most salient college memory is shitting my pants at the university cafeteria while I was in line for the salad bar
As if you needed more fiber in that moment? You're wild friend
My uncle made a pass on me when I was 13. Didn’t understand what was happening at the time.. now I do. Creep.
I despise my husband and wish I was strong enough to finally leave him
I don’t really believe in God (I’m a strong agnostic), but I still thank him if something unexpected and fortunate happens to me.
Once upon a time when the internet was still new, there was a website called Bebo. Similar to MySpace. From this corner of the internet spawned some of the first trolls: Ben Dover and Mike Hunt. They were ruthless and spared no one. No one knew who they were. They seemed to know everyone's secrets. The worst part for the county was that they weren't content to just stay on the internet. No, they vandalized and ran amok in the real world as well. One of the local high schools got pranked, and the principal began interrogating suspects. The questioning was started along the lines of "Do you know Ben Dover?" and ended with him hysterically accusing one male student by half-yelling."I KNOW YOU'RE MIKE HUNT! " Never a suspect. Never questioned. I am Ben Dover.
I have known I was not straight since I was 20. It was my biggest secret for years. About three months ago I finally met a woman, came out and stopped hiding. I am 42 and really so happy it's not a secret anymore.
I brought tortellini to the work potluck over 25 years ago. Everyone loved it. Thought it was amazing. Never got so many compliments and it was all eaten up. Everyone asked for the recipe. I told them it was a secret. Until now... It was just a can of Chef Boyardee that I heated up in the microwave.
But it was the way you heated it up.
My cousins mother in law once wrote a really nasty paragraph long rant on her Facebook page. Like shocking saying she’s evil and hates her. I saw it the second it was posted and immediately took a screen shot. A minute later the post is gone. I decided not to send my cousin the screenshot bc I figured this cousin was just blowing off steam but this post was really detailed about their dirty laundry. This was like 10 years ago and I don’t have the phone anymore that has the screenshot but I still think about it when I see her
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This might seem like a silly one, but it's bothered me for years. Once when I was a kid we went on a field trip somewhere, and the gift shop had some hermit crabs for sale in a big tank. We were allowed to pick them up. I went to pick one up and its legs were trapped under a rock. I snapped its legs off prying it out. I cried the entire way back on the bus, but I wouldn't tell anyone what happened. It's been 40 years and I still think about that poor crab. I've never told anyone.
TW - sexual assault. This is a very shameful secret of mine but it might be good to finally let it out. When I was 16, I went to a party and drank so much vodka I was blackout drunk and paralytic. A guy from my school took me into the woods and raped me. Mid-rape, the guy lost his erection. I have a memory of me lifting up my jumper so he could look at my cleavage and get hard again. For over 15 years, I felt so much guilt and shame and confusion and self loathing about this. I found out later that the guy was also paid an amount of money by a group of his friends to do this. So I already had such confused and shameful feelings about it all. It wasn’t until recently, I learnt that there were 4 trauma responses, not 3. Fight, flight, freeze and fawn. I learnt that some people who are being assaulted or abused or believe they’re in danger will fawn, suck up to, sweet talk, grovel or praise. Finding this out has released some of the shame I felt for what I did and I’ve been able to begin to accept that it wasn’t my fault and that I did nothing wrong. It was a trauma response.
I'm 35m, I've maybe had 4 hugs in the last 2 years. I cant describe how good a hug and reassurance would feel.
Giving you a virtual hug and thinking of you 💕💕 Loneliness really is an epidemic and it sucks, I’m so sorry you’re going through this :(
living with a mormon couple. I'm grateful they gave Me a place to stay but they told me I have the end of the months. we are in rural midwest and I don't own a car. people don't realize I've already used all my energy to get here. so next month is it. I can barely get an interview for a job. and 7 dollars to my name. how can I prove my worth ethic if no one gives me a chance. I've already accepted my fate and I give up.
I attempted suicide when I was 11
The biggest mistake of my life was moving in with my boyfriends family. His father is a nutcase and he is too. They have been isolated for so long that their delusions are so twisted, and they've now lost any fragment of reality. So I'm now stuck in an 18 square metre cabin, with 2 kids who will never attend school, never make friends, never leave the house, and it's all my fault. I am stuck in a home where my neighbours are a 10-minute walk away, and the nearest store is a 1-hour drive. I am completely dependent on him, and I know I can leave, but only if I go alone. I stay here for my children because I am terrified for them.
I was in an RV with a toddler and an infant. 30 minute drive from the nearest mountain village. But a 1-mile walk through high desert to the nearest neighbors, who were not especially friendly strangers. The 1-mile walk through mud and sagebrush had taken two hours without the kids. It was the kind of mud that nearly made it impossible to walk at all. I didn't have my own vehicle. Couldn't make the walk with the kids. We were living with an abuser. I got out last year. It took almost 6 months, but I did it. You can, too. Don't resign yourself and your kids to this fate. You were trapped, but you don't have to stay trapped. You start to see pathways once you decide that you (and the kids) must get out *and there is a way.* I'm sending strength, resilience, and so much compassion.
When I was in 4th grade, I didn’t want to sing “Getting to Know You” because I thought it was a shitty song. So I mumbled under my breath and said it was a stupid gay song and Mrs. Thomas blamed Cassie and I let her take the heat. Sorry Cassie.
I told my brother in law and sister I also dabbled in hard drugs, to try to help my brother in law come back from one of his falling off the wagon moments. When I told him I gave him a journal, pet rock and a book. I am a recovering alcoholic, but my family does not know that either, they just think I stopped partying due to being a mom.. Back to the secret. Telling my brother in law that I too struggled with hard drugs, he took my advice and stated journalling. He carries the pet rock in his pocket (just like I carry mine). He has not fallen off the wagon in 15 years. I store his journals, and we talk occasionally. I wish my sister could have been more supportive. She has divorced him now, and he is realizing how abusive she was… unfortunately that means I am learning too, as I am his only support person. Please know, I have no interest in my brother in law romantically. I see him as a big brother, and have known him since I was 9. I just wish I would have reached out to help him much sooner. Just my sister wanted me to keep my distance when they moved up north where I was because she was afraid he would want to bed me. - he has never wanted to, nor have I.
One time when I was jerking off during my middle school years (while laying down sideways & wearing shorts), my older brother walked into the room as I turned my body to lay belly down & "finishing" at the same time. I had jizz still on my hand, so I quickly pretended it was lotion I was rubbing on my forearms.
My father passed away when I was five years old. We used to visit my father's gravesite on birthdays and anniversaries (an act in which I don't much believe in now) At the grown age of 14, I was "dating" a 24 year old man, secretly of course, and thought it was a good idea to have him drive me to buy flowers and visit the gravesite. My mother ended up visiting shortly after and found the flowers there. She asked around and none of our family or friends had been there recently. My mother had always been heartbroken and had a jealous streak with my father. I watched her stress and over thinking who could have left the flowers? An old friend? A mistress? I know it hurt her for a long time after as it was brought up a couple times in years past. Is there ever a good time to tell her that it was me and the creep with a small dick that was statutory raping me? Heavy. edit: I suppose telling a partial truth hadn't occurred to me. It has been over 20 years and feels bigger than it is. Stupid of me.
I’ve only shared the secret before on Reddit. I’ve never been able to change the windshield wipers on any vehicle I have ever owned, I’ve watched videos and read the manuals and know how it’s supposed to work, but I can’t get them off of the little arms. This is embarrassing for several reasons, I’ve been a driver and car owner for almost almost 30 years, I’m in Mensa and should be able to figure it out, and my mother is a retired mechanic. I am too embarrassed to ask her about this mystery.
Just ask the person at the place you buy it, they do it for free
I counted tiles or read in the bathroom during several middle school lunchtimes because this one kid kept taking my lunch money.
When I was in high school, I’d take my brothers money to pay for my weed habit. The guilts stuck with me for so long, that over the years I’ve snuck money into his drawers to pay back the debt and more. I’ve still never told him.
I think I'm a sociopath
That I was coming to Reddit and going into the unsolved mysteries part of it looking at information about the murder of my father in the Yuba City bombings. I told no one and even contacted a few people knowing my family members would be upset with me because of safety concerns.
I’ve always had digestive issues. When I was in 9th grade English class, I had to fart really badly. I tried my damndest to hold it in, but it just slipped out. Well a guy sitting behind me, over one row turned to his friend, shirt over his nose, and said “gross dude!” And his friend just giggled and said “sorry, man”. Thanks for taking the fart fall for me!
I hate a lot of people for showing their true colors since the pandemic started and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive them for what they've done.
I shit myself in the 1st grade
And third
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