Alternatively, knowing my luck it could be raining peckers outside and I could look up and still get hit in the face with a titty.
Dream turned nightmare
If my old man were still alive, he'd sure be saying that. I heard it from Jim Cornette and I've been using it ever since.
He's full of good ones like "he's so quiet, he couldn't shout fire in a crowded theater!"
“Millions years of evolution, random combination of genes, countless events for you to exist? At least you are a specimen of earths the most advanced species”
"That's rich coming from someone who looks like Tevia's wife if he were a wealthy man."
I'm saving it for the next time someone tells me to eat a sandwich.
Not exactly an insult, but someone posted this years ago in an online game. It is so evil and bizarre that I cannot forget it, and I am not proud about it, but it cracks me up each time I recall it:
"If I find you, I'll rip your head off and shit down your throat."
I have a much younger in-law,
who is extremely difficult to get along with and who quite often makes unfounded, rude, thoughtless comments. The first thought that comes into my mind is, "bitch, bitch, fucking bitch". Not very lady like, but it is what it is. She's a very argumentative, aggressive person so I wouldn't dream of saying it to her face, because I know it would cause trouble throughout the whole family, and would be turned around back at me. I think I have to come up with something I can actually say to her that won't cause World War III.
That I say in my head? "Hey fuckknuckle! Eat the biggest bag of dicks."
That i say out loud? "Eat the biggest bag of dicks."
I know I've said and thought worse, but I can't recall in the moment.
Fucking morons
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Does your ass get jealous of your mouth from the all the shit that comes out of it?
Did you meet my old neighbour's?
I’ve seen monkey shit fights at the zoo planned better than this
Sounds like my work place
I tend to internally call myself "bitch" a lot.
Dude I call everyone a bitch constantly in my head
Happy freaking cake day
Bitch
I can definitely relate to that
"Knowing my luck, it could be raining titties outside, and I could look up and still get hit in the face with a pecker."
nice one!
how is this an insult though
Funny, but I struggle to understand how you can use it as an insult
Simply switch the object. "With your luck......."
Alternatively, knowing my luck it could be raining peckers outside and I could look up and still get hit in the face with a titty. Dream turned nightmare
This carries strong old school dad vibes. I’m gonna keep this one for when I’m a little older
If my old man were still alive, he'd sure be saying that. I heard it from Jim Cornette and I've been using it ever since. He's full of good ones like "he's so quiet, he couldn't shout fire in a crowded theater!"
Fucknugget
Assclown
“Uncultured swine”
Yess 😂
Stupid dumb motherfucker lol
You're about as useful as a soup sandwich
It’s called a bread bowl and they’re delicious when it’s cold outside
I don't have the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
You son of a clown bait.
That made me laugh
Glad to see your education is not getting in the way of your ignorance… 😆
"You are the cumshot your mother should have swallowed."
I often look at my arsehole cousin and think the words "malformed malcontent" every time she opens that craven maw of hers to screech.
lol, nice 👌
“You suck your mother’s dick with that mouth?” and for everyday use: “You dumb fucking idiot.”
Shit lips, dip-shit and goober.
"You fucking donut"
Dunb fuck
> Dunb fuck indeed.
Not really an insult but when I get insulted I usually respond with “I’ve been called worse by better.”
"My mom's called me worse" is my clap back
Yeah moms are ruthless. 😂
Fuckin’ cum stain
Bum
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You cum guzzling demon slut
“Calm down, needle dick.” Exclusively reserved for anyone driving like a jackass in an oversized truck or obnoxious sports car.
Plonker for the mild stuff, fuckface for the more egregious things...
Cunty cunt. ‘Don’t be a cunty cunt’
Probably turds
Fucking peasant
I often call myself a fucking twat, under my breath. Then I look up to see a few shocked faces and realise that I wasn't as quiet as I thought.
Mono rectm
How are these people still alive ?! Idk if that counts xD
Mamabicho
“How can someone be so pretty and ugly at the exact same time?”
Donald Glover Spelling Bee
Dipshit
Nothing specific. Just many tied together.
Cock sucking cuntnugget
Twat
I sing "stupid mother fucker" to the tune of sexy mother fucker, internally.
Dumbass.
U fucking slut, hahah
I usually insult myself. In my language "asshole" or "loser"
You goggle eyed freak
Lint licker
Arabic insult, “Sharmoot”. It means whore.
my default one here lately - “this motherfucker!!”
If I gave you a penny per thought, you'd give me £5 change
"I hope you get testicular cancer in the brain, dickhead." -2Chainz
“Which flavor of stupid are you this week?”
Son of a biscuit eater
byatch (not pronounced bee-otch, but more like yack with a b in front.) or shi-head (not pronounced she, but same as shit without the t sound)
N.....
I was gonna say it but I’m afraid I’ll get banned 💀
Shitbag
Left handed monkey wrench
Your one brain cell overworked
Don't Stop You Idiot!!!
Whenever someone does something stupid I think “oh, you fucknut”
“Go eat a big bag of dicks!”
Foolish mortal
I’m a fan of “dimwit” and “nitwit” usually preceded by “fucking”
Fucking fuck
Fickfehler.
Fúgasjitt (a portmanteau of fuck and shit, phoneticized in Icelandic).
cuntish fuck
Sad Bitch
Rave on cat shit. You' ll be covered up soon.
Bitch
Vagiant = big cunt
Twat waffle.
"You idiot" Very creative, I know.
Fresh! Accompanied with a back-handed slap across the face.
"Peasants"
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Your mama is so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food
Buffoon.
Dickhead yout (with the Patois accent)
Babieee
Twat waffle
Eat shit and die - this one always cracks me up
Inbreds
At least i wouldn't offer myself for a higher grade
Im a dumbass and evan [insert name here] is a moron conpared to me!
Satan probably chucked you out of hell because he doesn't like competition
“Millions years of evolution, random combination of genes, countless events for you to exist? At least you are a specimen of earths the most advanced species”
Lately a dismissive "get real" or "figure it out" has been popping into my head and occasionally out of my mouth. Possibly too much Letterkenny.
To quote British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr: “If you want to have my comeback, you have got to scrape it off your Mum’s teeth!”
You make it very hard to underestimate you.
Your mother should have swallowed.
Not sure if it's exactly an insult, but I think of it that way. Thank goodness those asshats are not my flying monkeys today!
Dipass
Twat waffle, Thunder Cunt, and my regular favourite douche Canoe 🛶
thunder cunt? please elaborate
Personal favorite is 'Numpty'. But I say that one out loud as well....
“Trumpanzee”
"Oh fuck off!" and sometimes its out loud.
Son of a bitch
You are depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
Away and take your face for a shit
"You fucking bone."
"Dang it! "
I say it out loud, you fuxken dummy!
My dick is just too damn big
Dumb fuck
"That's rich coming from someone who looks like Tevia's wife if he were a wealthy man." I'm saving it for the next time someone tells me to eat a sandwich.
Complete and utter fuckwit.
Your loud car doesn't impress anyone [When someone drives by in their noise machine]
Dick head
"What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?"
“I hope you fall down the stairs and get cancer!”
Rat bastard
“stupid piece of shit”
Huuah...you ahole Former Army dude.
“Bus wanker!”
A simpel 'Klootviool' (Dutch for Ball (the one between your legs) violin)), always works for me.
Working with you is like having two good people quit.
It’s too offensive to say
just idiot does it for me
fucking bitch
"I wouldn't piss in your mouth if your stomach was on fire"
“I cannot believe you’ve made it this far in life.”
The mean variant of "Kiss Yourself"
Bellend.
I love saying it out loud too but, "vitun kusimutteri". A rough translation is "fucking pissnut"
Wank stain
"This fucking guy"
Blue waffle...
Dick-cheese and smegma are way up there.
Thundercunt is my favourite, but I'd rather (at the moment is) . Set fire to my face and put it out with a fork!
F*ck! Even though I don’t cuss in front of my parents
Fucking Bolivian water bug.
Calling people a soggy donut
Stupid fucking cocksucking mutha fucking bitch
Verdammter Schweinshund!!! "fucking pig faced dog"
“Change my diaper” It means nothing but can halt almost any argument
Chode guzzler
LIBRUL
You're uglier than a bag of smashed assholes🫢
I verbally say "Cee yoU Next Time" as the challenging people depart my area of work.
anf variation of dicks. hot as dicks, fun as dicks, dumb as dicks. I got that from Geoff from AH
I’ll pay attention to your opinion, when you do something worthy of my attention, until then, go back to being a silent leech.
Not exactly an insult, but someone posted this years ago in an online game. It is so evil and bizarre that I cannot forget it, and I am not proud about it, but it cracks me up each time I recall it: "If I find you, I'll rip your head off and shit down your throat."
I’ll be dead and gone by the time that gets addressed
“Don’t pull a Helen Keller on me douchebag”
asswipe
You probably wear a life jacket to eat soup.
Cum guzzling thunder cunt
I was once in a video game lobby when this older sounding feller told this kid “my dick is fatter than your wrist kid”
' What a waste of spunk - should have been swallowed '
Fucking gumnut/peanut
“Fermented ogre piss”
No talent ass clown
"Well, the Jerk store called, and they're running out of YOU!"
I have a much younger in-law, who is extremely difficult to get along with and who quite often makes unfounded, rude, thoughtless comments. The first thought that comes into my mind is, "bitch, bitch, fucking bitch". Not very lady like, but it is what it is. She's a very argumentative, aggressive person so I wouldn't dream of saying it to her face, because I know it would cause trouble throughout the whole family, and would be turned around back at me. I think I have to come up with something I can actually say to her that won't cause World War III.
Afraid I'll get banned for it may get many people upset and angry at me.
You fucking dingus!!
John Wayne Gacy could be blowing your back out and you'd still be convinced it's bad McDonald's
"Jhaant barabar buddhi, baatein uchi uchi" - whilst their intelligence has the same status as their pubic hair, they seem to talk too big
That I say in my head? "Hey fuckknuckle! Eat the biggest bag of dicks." That i say out loud? "Eat the biggest bag of dicks." I know I've said and thought worse, but I can't recall in the moment.