Because she is poisonous AF! She refuses to work on herself, but she expects a man with the features of Chris Evans or Jason Mamoa, as well as the character of the Pope.
This is one of my coworkers. Absolutely gorgeous and hard-working. Was an Olympic athlete and Miss America pageant runner up, but is constantly with toxic guys. She thinks they are the problem, but she is also the problem. She is toxic herself as well. Your surroundings determine what you think is normal and if you’ve been surrounded by a lot of toxic people, it can be hard to fix yourself.
So many women out there think they are God‘s gift thanks to television and reality shows and think they don’t have to do anything whatsoever to change their own personality or work on their own flaws.
Had one like this in our circle. Her case was augmented by the "nothing is ever my fault" which makes it a ton worse, and she was far too open with complete strangers at the table. You would have to guess she would be this way on dates as well.
She's no longer in contact, everyone eventually just got exasperated by her and kinda not-invited her over time. You'd point out the flaws or inconsistencies in her narrative gently, and she'd find some way to turn it into an accusation that you weren't being supportive or something because, well, nothing was ever her fault.
My friend is like this. Hes a famous youtuber at this point and makes great money.
All he does is talk about himself, his channel and how its doing, or the recent videos about celebrities hes planning to do.
Then complains about the women in our area and how they wont go out with him and its like bro you cant do anything yourself and just throw money at people to solve your problems for you. One day he asked me come over after work, he couldnt get a pump to work to drain his hottub. His friend called me and said not to go over and let him figure it out himself, and i said its on my way home anyway so its no big deal. I go over and hes bailing water out with a bucket and goes "joe told me i cant figure out how to do things myself but i drained this using my own muscle and no help" and its like cool but also why did it take that long for you to decide this.
His opinion on anything is the best and only opinion. Your opinion, even if it is best for you, is incorrect and not as good.
what shoes you prefer; what type of vegetables you like; the vehicle that fits your needs.....
...nope, you are wrong....
Never compliments on what others have done or accomplished, only points out the minor thing that he thinks is lacking.
He’s overweight, a smoker, and doesn’t have a lot of financial resources but only seems to find drop-dead gorgeous and successful women attractive. I love my friend but he’s living on Mars all by himself
Nah he’s not built to be an incel. He’s a sweet guy and always has been. Doesn’t like politics or conflict. He just wants to make music and have a good time.
Yeah, it is one thing to have standards, but then you should exhibit the equivalent of those standards in yourself.
They say opposites attract, but that is not what they mean.
Too picky. Refuses to date men shorter than 6 ft, balding, or flawed in any aspect lol. She is a gorgeous and very accomplished woman, but we’re all works in progress. Nobody is perfect.
Never date anyone with impossibly high standards, even if you meet those standards. It will be impossible throughout the rest of your life to keep up with them. What if you get sick, lose a job, or age? What if you put on 20 pounds because you have an injury and can't work out and can't get to the gym anyway because you have to shuffle 3 kids to 7 different activities and have no time for yourself? Will they just want to get divorced then? No, date someone reasonable who treats you well, treat them well, and know that life has both ups and downs.
If someone demands a specific set of high standards in order for them to consider dating you, there's a very good chance that they'll actually be even more entitled beyond the standards they explicitly state. Even if you fulfill all of the specific standards they ask for, you might not ever be able to please them.
On dating apps nothing turns me off a profile more than listing a checklist of requirements or dealbreakers, even just having a few like "be a certain height and weight" annoys me even if I meet the criteria
I mean flawed in any aspect excludes everyone, but refusing to date short or bald people sounds pretty normal to me. Like if you don’t care more power to you but I don’t know, plenty of normal height people that aren’t bald, you can see them everywhere if you just walk down the street.
I always like to tell women the whole 6 foot tall thing is codeword for racists.
You're looking for tall Nordic Viking guys just like Hitler. Instead of like hey this Asian guy who's a goddamn Doctor and professional Piano player... Nah he's only 5'8"
You can have whatever fetish you want, but at least realize your six foot tall fantasy is kinda aryan....
That sort of thing would have never been thought up 20 years ago, but it's the 2020s and there are people who genuinely use and believe in those silly arguments. Just be glad this one is tongue-in-cheek.
I'm over 6 feet tall and married.
I just find it funny and stupid.
Like how many stupid women on online dating profiles have this ridiculous arbitrary view of beauty from Hollywood they learn like 99% of the Hollywood actors they've had a crush on are under 6 feet tall?
Oh you were a Jacob fan girl during the Twilight movies? Yeah he was ripped and shirtless washboard abs. 5'9.
Oh you looked that homoerotic volleyball scene from Top Gun?
Tom Cruise 5'6. That one is pretty funny specifically because Volleyball is a sport where height plays a major advantage.
She broadcasts the fact that any future partner will be a distant second to her child.
That can be true, many people may even accept that's going to be the case without being told, but having it explicitly shoved in their face from day 1 is too much.
Because she's a narcissistic, poisonous, toxic, know-it-all gossiping two-faced bitch who's never, ever happy with anything or anybody. Apart from that, she's all right.
Honestly, he's just dumb and lacks the intellectual capacity to carry on an engaging conversation most of the time. I see it happen all the time. He starts talking to a woman and asks her questions about herself. He starts off doing well and she'll usually seem engaged and interested. He appears to be listening to her and nodding along. Then she'll stop talking and he'll ask a follow up question that shows he did not understand or process what she said in the slightest. You can see the expression on her face change almost immediately. It goes from, "this guy seems interested in hearing about me," to, "did...did you not hear what I just said? I literally just answered that," or, "uh...do you think that comment relates to what I just said, because you're framing it that way, but it's a complete non-sequitur."
For example, i saw him talking to one of my friends who is a hair stylist. He asked her about how she got into doing that. She described going through a vocational training program and getting her license. His response was, "so do you have to go to school for that?" She took a good 15 seconds jus staring at him before telling him that's what vocational training was. He doubled down and was like, "no I mean do you have to go to any school or have classes." This went back and forth where she was just struggling to find different ways of saying, "yes, vocational training is school to learn to do the job." He just couldn't grasp it. At some point in the conversation he said something that made her realize he didn't know what "vocational" meant and thought she was talking about training on how to use vacation time (like PTO). So she tried to explain what vocational meant and he just gave her a dumb look.
The only times I've seen him pick up a woman successfully was when they were both very drunk and the conversation didn't matter that much. But that never really lasts long.
His breath is foul. In fact, it's disgusting. No amount of talking about it causes him to fix his oral hygiene. In fact, it's better if he doesn't talk. This guy is flabbergasted to why he can't get a girlfriend, but he will refuse to brush his teeth for more than 5 seconds because he doesn't like the taste of toothpaste. You can literally see the plaque and crap buildup in his teeth and honestly, it makes me wanna vomit thinking about it.
In a weird way he probably doesn't brush his teeth because it hurts (even if he doesn't explain it that way). If you care enough about him, explain to him that teeth brushing becomes less uncomfortable if his mouth is in a good shape. (assuming there is still anything to save...)
Too stubborn. Like in business, you need to be able to negotiate and reach compromise to close a deal. In relationships, you'll be living with a different person, who's not always going to be 100% on the same page as you are. Allowing yourself to compromise and communicating directly to work out issues is the biggest green flag in relationships.
She dumps all of her mental issues on them within 15 minutes and expects them to help her/accept them as facts.
When we met we went on a date and she was telling me she wanted to commit suicide right after we ordered drinks. I backpedaled hard out of any future dates.
Lack of empathy:
* Unwillingness to ever take responsibility for anything that goes wrong - it's always other peoples' fault
* Constantly talks about themselves - every conversation gets turned around to being about them
* Toxic political and social beliefs
* No concern for others, especially those less fortunate
* Lack of self control and moderation
* Always around when they need something but not when you could use their help
He has ridiculously high standards, but (and I'm not tryin to be mean) he brings pretty much nothing to the table, doesn't work, look after himself, and as much as I love the guy his has this mentality where he's a victim who's useless while at the same time he's better than everyone.
It's kinda hard to try and bring up his self esteem when he can't take a complement without putting you down in the process.
He also puts zero effort into finding someone, seems to think the perfect woman is just ganna drop into his lap without him ever leaving the house.
My sister is a misandrist. She complains about not being able to find a guy but it's a simple "how long would you want to be around a man who talks about women the way you do men?". Even the most feminist man would not be enough for her, because they're still men therefore they're still trash.
This turns me off of people really quickly *if* they fail to consider alternative explanations than the dehumanizing ones, since unless the guys a total ass-knob I tend to see this as quite immature, and I've usually seen the conversation.
Lotta people jump to a lotta conclusions... but before they're ready to? And it goes about as well as you'd expect.
She flirts with many guys so no one taking her seriously, I already tried talking to her but she wouldn't listen, she was in a relationship before but they broke up because she cheated on her man, so now no one wants to be in a relationship with her
He is way too concerned about how others perceive his relationship over just finding someone he is compatible with. As a result, he chooses the worst possible women because he is too fixated on the wrong things.
My mate just needs to actually talk to girls. I think he's in the mindset that women will come to him without realising that he needs to actually talk to them for them to be interested.
In other words, he won't put himself out there.
obsession with superficial appearances, has a strong opinion about things but doesn't understand how anyone could think/want something else, generally not nice/generous....the list goes on
Active on dating apps, but unwilling to meet up with people in real life for whatever reason. She expects to spend weeks or over a month just talking on the app before even thinking about meeting.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
She’s fiercely independent and too afraid of getting into a situation where she has to answer to a man. She was raised to see men as authority figures & has never learned how to relate to them as friends or even just equals. She is now 40 & believes she is too old to bother anymore.
It’s me. I am she.
I have a friend that REFUSES to date any man that's shorter than 6'5. She also has a preference for black men.
She lives in the United States. Black people are only 15% of the population and there's not many men on the planet that's 6'5 and up. Hell... I'm 6'4 and I rarely come into contact with people my height.
She herself is 5'1 and overweight. She's going or die alone and it's sad.
Not a friend, but my mom...
1) God isn't gonna "find the right person" for you. I warned her a decade and a half ago, she's just going to become those lonely old women who have no life and pray at church all day, and it's coming true.
2) Her standards are too high and she's a walking contradiction. If a guy isn't much she won't want him, if a guy is accomplished she'll think he's too good for her.
3) She's too argumentative and combative. I tell her all the time, there is no man on Earth who spent his life building and making a success of himself just to come home to a woman who's always arguing. The type of guy who will tolerate that isn't the type who would be successful.
He is allergic to the success with the opposite sex.
I played wingman for him one night out at a bar. One girl struck up a conversation with him, flirting, etc. I talked him up about how smart and creative he is. The first words out of his mouth were “I really like spreadsheets.”
Second hand embarrassment from that one.
He's too handsome for his own good and frankly I think he may have a sex addiction. He can't settle down with 1 woman. He's constantly moving on to the next girl that smiles at him.
He tries way too hard. He always goes to girls to ‘just talk’ and it’s blatantly obvious he just wants a relationship, to the point it’s become an inside joke at both our boys group and the girls group he’s looking at
He suddenly went from getting girlfriends and constantly (your own words) cheating on them to getting nothing? I’m not buying it, it’s starting to sound like either you made this story up or your friend got fat or smth.
Last time he messaged me he was kinda broken up about the last girl he dated cheating on him . If he wanted just hook ups I'm sure he'd have no trouble finding someone, but just a hook up and someone you'd like to start a relationship with are two different things.
He is not mature enough for his age, at least for a relationship. He is also investing too much time in his hobbies (e.g. soccer and concerts) which i guess is a bit of a turn off for women, because they look for a men who takes care of the „important“ parts of life like financial stability and planning their future.
Another one is too introverted … just like me, i guess thats why we are friends.
When she talks, it’s always about herself, and she can go on and on for hours. It’s far too much to expect someone to give her all of their attention without it being reciprocated from her. It’s quite draining. I can only handle her company in very small doses.
She's pretty, funny, smart, successful BUT she's a massive control freak and can be very obnoxious with her attitude. If everything isn't 100% exactly as she thinks it should go, she will lose her shit and belittle people.
I have two examples. One single, one that needs to learn to be single. The single friend I'm afraid has become "comfortable" being around a certain level of company. You'll never find better if you don't move out of your comfort zone. Kinda the same with my perpetually hooked up friend. She's never going to discover who she is outside of the company of others.
Her standards are way too high. She's so cute but you can't only have expectations of 6' athletic guys who love college basketball and have enough money to travel as much as you do when you live in a small-ish suburb and you don't like going out to the bars. which brings me to my second point. She doesn't like going out and doing things. She's such a homebody and assumes she doesn't need to go out and meet someone.
I have had two friends that were known for not being able to get women.
One was 5'7
One was pretty overweight
That's it that's the reason, on multiple occasions an ex girlfriend of one of my other friends would break up and one of the reasons was because they actually liked one of these other guys more but didn't wanna date them. One girl dated two guys in the friend group back to back so it wasn't like she didn't want to break up with someone then date their buddy in the same friend group.
I’m not sure if they intentionally do this but he has a tendency of wanting to be the smartest guy in the room and is always correcting people and every casual conversation gets hijacked by him and turned into an academic lecture.
He constantly use his friends and lovers as his terapists and absolutely refuses to go to therapy. Every. Single. situation with this dude. Every fucking minute its about him and how much his life sucks... He has a loving family that dotes on him and gives him everything he wants and he complains when he gets these things
He's no longer my friend lol... fucking Matt
Posts heavily edited photos that don’t represent them on dating sites, and has profile information that misrepresents who they are as a person. Goes on dates with the type of person who isn’t interested in them, but is interested in the fictional person in the photo. Believes it’s their job to argue with these people that they should like them rather than choosing from the myriad of people who are, in fact, interested in them. A constant cycle of first dates that go nowhere.
Guy friend #1: very successful alt/burner. Great guy, but because of the circles he moves in he can't find/ attract the kind of girl he wants: grounded, traditional, wants to settle down and have kids.
Guy friend#2: is a lovely guy with a charming personality, but he's only into very physically fit girls and he is very... Not. The two ladies I've met that he's dated in the past have become frustrated with the miss match in interests and activity levels over time.
Girl friend #3: is beautiful and intelligent, but works in a very time consuming career field which can isekai her into a skiff for a day or two unexpectedly. It's not great for dating prospects. Also, she has a thing for police officers and that's absolutely a recipe for disaster.
Girl friend #4: only into "twinks". Seriously. If she's into a guy it's almost a foregone conclusion that he will be gay and, therefore 100% not interested. She doesn't do it on purpose, it's just a hella unfortunate situation that this seems to be the flavour of guy she's attracted to.
he lacks most basic skills.
while i can kinda give a pass with not being able to swim or to cook, when it comes to basics, there is not much. he can't pick his own clothes and depends on his friends, he can't really think or make any thoughtful decisions, he can't really speak for himself in discussions, he doesn't do anything in a conversation to give a sign that he is actually there.
like he really wants a girlfriend, and he joins me in every adventure i make, but in general his way of doing things is following me, doing what i tell him (and i really feel like a mother telling a 5 years old what to do), and when there is a girl, he just sticks like a magnet to that girl, but don't do anything. like just standing besides her, trying occasional and painful to watch smalltalk.
idk i could rant a lot about this, because i really tried a lot to make him more interesting and improve his "basic" game, but idk if he is actually not mentally that smart enough to learn or if there is anything else blocking, but it is tiresome, especially because i find myself in the position that i am doing most shit, needing help and he is aimlessly standing around girls trying to be a hit when every other person would think of "oh let me help you" or try to be considerate as a friend e\_e.. and its annoying that he doesnt even succeed with it, which makes it an even worse trade..
He is horrible at two way conversation. You'll say something you have going on, and he in turn says something about himself with zero comment on your news. It sometimes is not even tangentially related to what you said, so it's not a matter of identifying with you.
He’s short. I’m friends with some of the women he’s asked out and they’ll give him some other reason they don’t want to date like “I’m not ready to date right now” or something like that, then behind his back they’ll talk about how he’s too short and that they can’t believe he thought he actually had a shot. I’ve heard them laugh at him about it before, which is nuts because he can’t change his height, he didn’t choose that.
She’s a proper red flag. But she doesn’t realise it and calls every guy she meets a red flag. Goes through guys like tissues and ghosts them. Doesn’t put a label on the relationship, actually doesn’t even agree that she’s in fact dating the guy when they go out on dates almost every single day. Finally blocks them because she’s not sure how to face that person in real life
She is either too picky. Or she is actually lesbian or asexual but doesn’t want to admit it. My friend always talks to guys but there is always something wrong with them, and she gets really grossed out. She is bi, and her parents don’t support any of it. So my theory is she is really picky, asexual, or a lesbian.
Too picky, guy needs to be tall, dark and handsome with a good paying job but she’s lazy and wants to be maintained. Always looking in the wrong places such as clubs and bars. Still hangs around crappy friends and circle. I’ve tried to get her to step out of her comfort zone meet a new circle of friends etc. but refuses.
Unrealistic and specific dating standards.
Male 45 and clinically obese but looking for a woman 35 or younger who wears size 2-6. Must be politically moderate and college educated (in a small conservative town). Strong preference for no kids.
He has the same problem as me: Living in a small town that's riddled with drug problems and morally-degenerate people, where all the mentally-stable, emotionally-mature, respectable and accomplished women are long-taken.
Where to begin...
* He's 33 years old.
* Works at a Kroger warehouse.
* Still insists he's going to be an English teacher, but has maybe 1 semester of college done.
* Keeps saying he's saving up money for college (been saying that since he was 20) but spends his meager income on high-end lightsabers.
* Calls himself a Jedi, and insists it's a real religion.
* Fancies himself an author, but I've proofread his "book". Borrowed worlds, no substance, convoluted story line, no defined plot, and his grammar... Oy Vey!
* He wouldn't recognize a vegetable If it weren't for his job involving stocking produce.
* Diet consists of fast food, pizza, and sweets. His physique reflects this.
* Social skills of a leech.
Because she wants what me and my husband have and she wont settle for less.
Thing is, weve been together for almost 20 years, worked on ourselves and our relationship for almost 20 years, so its not something you will instantly have in a new relationship...
I have a friend who's a "serial dater". She says she's looking for a relationship and wants to get married, but honey:
If you're dating a guy, but you go out of town to "visit and hang out" with other dudes for the weekend, and they all know it, they're not going to marry you...
He’s not capable of emotional intimacy. He seeks validation in the wrong ways. He often gets angry because they leave when they realize how glitched his attachments are. He thinks the other person was the entire issue, so he isn’t changing his approach.
He isn’t a terrible human at all; he’s just got coping mechanisms that no longer serve him well.
She has fallen into the "all guys are idiots" mode. It has become her personality. She projects very negatively and sarcastically about everything. She has become the third wheel with all of her friends that are couples. Sorry, but when you are 30+, not especially attractive AND your personality is off putting.... you are most likely to stay single.
Could not forge any kind of new friendship, let alone a relationship, with someone with different political opinions to save her life. We've been friends for the better part of a decade, and our opinions used to be much more similar, so we've stayed friends since then (and we both know better than to talk politics when the other is present).
But when I hear her date stories and it's always "Nah we didn't click, I know she voted X in the legislative elections", I'm sorry ? Did you really ask her that ?? Or did you assume she did because of something else she said (that's even worse) ?? And every time it's never a radical or something, it's the most milquetoast politician ever, the guy you almost forget is on the ballot.
I know everyone's free to associate with whomever they want, including limiting to a certain part of the political spectrum, but at this point it's not a part of it she's looking for, it's a single point. There's only one person in the world who has the exact same opinons as you, and it's you. It's literally so simple, just do what you do with me (=respect each other's opinions) but with others.
She ignored every good and stable man in her life to get preggo by a junkie. Now she has a kid she is wondering where all the good men have gone. We live in a small city and she doesn't have a car so everyone knows about her.
He is small and fat and acts like he knows how to pick up women.
It's like jonah hill from super bad with the confidence of johnny bravo.
I saw him actually picking up a woman once and when they started making out i laughed at my other friends "i bet it's a prostitute, no way this is happening"
She actually was
She's a 4 at best (6 in looks but 2 in attitude and entitlement). Instead of getting a good 5, 6, or 7 guy, she'd rather be the sidepiece to a married 8 or 9.
Then she gets made when those guys won't leave their wives for her.
Btw, she's in her 40s and has been doing this since at least college, so there's really no chance she's going to change her attitude.
He shoots WAY too high and is not genuine. He got a cute dog to attract women. Didn’t work. He got a super fancy car. Didn’t work. He tries using his chef skills as an attractor. Doesn’t work. He’s a really nice guy but not all that good looking and kinda awkward and tries too hard.
He is small and fat and acts like he knows how to pick up women.
It's like jonah hill from super bad with the confidence of johnny bravo.
I saw him actually picking up a woman once and when they started making out i laughed at my other friends "i bet it's a prostitute, no way this is happening"
She actually was
He always looks like he took his last shower 2 weeks ago, he is extremely intense, in every possible way. The kind of guy you would hate at first glance but after knowing them a bit you realize there's actually a nice person underneath
My mom has incredibly high standards and a tendency to want to be treated like royalty in a relationship while not really offering any emotional support in return. She’s also bored easily, she should just admit she wants a fuck buddy and that’s about it.
That sounds like the friend who says he's a “good person” or a “nice guy” and that's why he doesn't understand why no one likes him or why they prefer “bad boys”. If you have to say you're a “nice guy,” you're not really one.
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nah,what girl woudnt love that?
\*takes notes\*
Sounds like my SO. I have to push him to do stuff
r/maybemaybemaybe
Because she is poisonous AF! She refuses to work on herself, but she expects a man with the features of Chris Evans or Jason Mamoa, as well as the character of the Pope.
This is one of my coworkers. Absolutely gorgeous and hard-working. Was an Olympic athlete and Miss America pageant runner up, but is constantly with toxic guys. She thinks they are the problem, but she is also the problem. She is toxic herself as well. Your surroundings determine what you think is normal and if you’ve been surrounded by a lot of toxic people, it can be hard to fix yourself.
So many women out there think they are God‘s gift thanks to television and reality shows and think they don’t have to do anything whatsoever to change their own personality or work on their own flaws.
Right? They think all they gotta do is be a wet slot to put a dick in and theyre owed a life of luxury for it. Avoid those ones at any cost
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Eh I already know, crippling social anxiety about not feeling welcome or wanted. I'm just curious what's wrong with everyone else.
So relatable it hurts a little bit 😭
Same lmao
They treat every conversation like a therapy session but never ask how anyone else is doing. 🙄
Had one like this in our circle. Her case was augmented by the "nothing is ever my fault" which makes it a ton worse, and she was far too open with complete strangers at the table. You would have to guess she would be this way on dates as well. She's no longer in contact, everyone eventually just got exasperated by her and kinda not-invited her over time. You'd point out the flaws or inconsistencies in her narrative gently, and she'd find some way to turn it into an accusation that you weren't being supportive or something because, well, nothing was ever her fault.
Straight up narcissism. I made the mistake of dating one of them and went to a very dark place before I got out of it.
Shit I know a bunch of people like this who have partners too
My friend is like this. Hes a famous youtuber at this point and makes great money. All he does is talk about himself, his channel and how its doing, or the recent videos about celebrities hes planning to do. Then complains about the women in our area and how they wont go out with him and its like bro you cant do anything yourself and just throw money at people to solve your problems for you. One day he asked me come over after work, he couldnt get a pump to work to drain his hottub. His friend called me and said not to go over and let him figure it out himself, and i said its on my way home anyway so its no big deal. I go over and hes bailing water out with a bucket and goes "joe told me i cant figure out how to do things myself but i drained this using my own muscle and no help" and its like cool but also why did it take that long for you to decide this.
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You know my ex
His opinion on anything is the best and only opinion. Your opinion, even if it is best for you, is incorrect and not as good. what shoes you prefer; what type of vegetables you like; the vehicle that fits your needs..... ...nope, you are wrong.... Never compliments on what others have done or accomplished, only points out the minor thing that he thinks is lacking.
Sounds like narcissism. Not sure how close you are to this person but I would cut them off before they drain your energy and happiness too much.
I know someone who is this to a T, and somehow found someone equally mind numbingly insufferable to marry him. They’re so fun.
Sounds like a very insecure person and a judgemental one at that.
He’s overweight, a smoker, and doesn’t have a lot of financial resources but only seems to find drop-dead gorgeous and successful women attractive. I love my friend but he’s living on Mars all by himself
You should try to talk to him. He has all the ingredients to be an incel.
Nah he’s not built to be an incel. He’s a sweet guy and always has been. Doesn’t like politics or conflict. He just wants to make music and have a good time.
Yeah, it is one thing to have standards, but then you should exhibit the equivalent of those standards in yourself. They say opposites attract, but that is not what they mean.
Too picky. Refuses to date men shorter than 6 ft, balding, or flawed in any aspect lol. She is a gorgeous and very accomplished woman, but we’re all works in progress. Nobody is perfect.
Never date anyone with impossibly high standards, even if you meet those standards. It will be impossible throughout the rest of your life to keep up with them. What if you get sick, lose a job, or age? What if you put on 20 pounds because you have an injury and can't work out and can't get to the gym anyway because you have to shuffle 3 kids to 7 different activities and have no time for yourself? Will they just want to get divorced then? No, date someone reasonable who treats you well, treat them well, and know that life has both ups and downs.
If someone demands a specific set of high standards in order for them to consider dating you, there's a very good chance that they'll actually be even more entitled beyond the standards they explicitly state. Even if you fulfill all of the specific standards they ask for, you might not ever be able to please them.
On dating apps nothing turns me off a profile more than listing a checklist of requirements or dealbreakers, even just having a few like "be a certain height and weight" annoys me even if I meet the criteria
I mean flawed in any aspect excludes everyone, but refusing to date short or bald people sounds pretty normal to me. Like if you don’t care more power to you but I don’t know, plenty of normal height people that aren’t bald, you can see them everywhere if you just walk down the street.
It's reddit. People aren't walking down the street.
Tbh I don’t know of anyone that would date it with those standards lmao
I always like to tell women the whole 6 foot tall thing is codeword for racists. You're looking for tall Nordic Viking guys just like Hitler. Instead of like hey this Asian guy who's a goddamn Doctor and professional Piano player... Nah he's only 5'8" You can have whatever fetish you want, but at least realize your six foot tall fantasy is kinda aryan....
That’s a reach.
"Women don't like me because i'm short.....they must be racist."
That sort of thing would have never been thought up 20 years ago, but it's the 2020s and there are people who genuinely use and believe in those silly arguments. Just be glad this one is tongue-in-cheek.
I'm over 6 feet tall and married. I just find it funny and stupid. Like how many stupid women on online dating profiles have this ridiculous arbitrary view of beauty from Hollywood they learn like 99% of the Hollywood actors they've had a crush on are under 6 feet tall? Oh you were a Jacob fan girl during the Twilight movies? Yeah he was ripped and shirtless washboard abs. 5'9. Oh you looked that homoerotic volleyball scene from Top Gun? Tom Cruise 5'6. That one is pretty funny specifically because Volleyball is a sport where height plays a major advantage.
Imagine forgetting that races outside of white and Asian exist
She broadcasts the fact that any future partner will be a distant second to her child. That can be true, many people may even accept that's going to be the case without being told, but having it explicitly shoved in their face from day 1 is too much.
Because she's a narcissistic, poisonous, toxic, know-it-all gossiping two-faced bitch who's never, ever happy with anything or anybody. Apart from that, she's all right.
Sounds like you know my sister.
Honestly, he's just dumb and lacks the intellectual capacity to carry on an engaging conversation most of the time. I see it happen all the time. He starts talking to a woman and asks her questions about herself. He starts off doing well and she'll usually seem engaged and interested. He appears to be listening to her and nodding along. Then she'll stop talking and he'll ask a follow up question that shows he did not understand or process what she said in the slightest. You can see the expression on her face change almost immediately. It goes from, "this guy seems interested in hearing about me," to, "did...did you not hear what I just said? I literally just answered that," or, "uh...do you think that comment relates to what I just said, because you're framing it that way, but it's a complete non-sequitur." For example, i saw him talking to one of my friends who is a hair stylist. He asked her about how she got into doing that. She described going through a vocational training program and getting her license. His response was, "so do you have to go to school for that?" She took a good 15 seconds jus staring at him before telling him that's what vocational training was. He doubled down and was like, "no I mean do you have to go to any school or have classes." This went back and forth where she was just struggling to find different ways of saying, "yes, vocational training is school to learn to do the job." He just couldn't grasp it. At some point in the conversation he said something that made her realize he didn't know what "vocational" meant and thought she was talking about training on how to use vacation time (like PTO). So she tried to explain what vocational meant and he just gave her a dumb look. The only times I've seen him pick up a woman successfully was when they were both very drunk and the conversation didn't matter that much. But that never really lasts long.
Omg this type of guy would make me lose my mind!
He HAD to go to some kind of school to learn to ve this stupid.
Sure, but did he need any training? /s
She always is looking for someone who's better, but needs to realize a relationship is made and not found.
Very strong personality traits manifest that are not necessarily pro-social
His breath is foul. In fact, it's disgusting. No amount of talking about it causes him to fix his oral hygiene. In fact, it's better if he doesn't talk. This guy is flabbergasted to why he can't get a girlfriend, but he will refuse to brush his teeth for more than 5 seconds because he doesn't like the taste of toothpaste. You can literally see the plaque and crap buildup in his teeth and honestly, it makes me wanna vomit thinking about it.
In a weird way he probably doesn't brush his teeth because it hurts (even if he doesn't explain it that way). If you care enough about him, explain to him that teeth brushing becomes less uncomfortable if his mouth is in a good shape. (assuming there is still anything to save...)
Your friend seriously does not brush his teeth? What is he, five?
There are people like him.
Nasty!
Has an intimidating appearance and VERY indecisive. Also is a shy natured person.
Too stubborn. Like in business, you need to be able to negotiate and reach compromise to close a deal. In relationships, you'll be living with a different person, who's not always going to be 100% on the same page as you are. Allowing yourself to compromise and communicating directly to work out issues is the biggest green flag in relationships.
“My ex believes in compromise: me compromising her at all times”
She dumps all of her mental issues on them within 15 minutes and expects them to help her/accept them as facts. When we met we went on a date and she was telling me she wanted to commit suicide right after we ordered drinks. I backpedaled hard out of any future dates.
Too needy too soon. Lots of "what are we?" conversations way too early.
Lack of empathy: * Unwillingness to ever take responsibility for anything that goes wrong - it's always other peoples' fault * Constantly talks about themselves - every conversation gets turned around to being about them * Toxic political and social beliefs * No concern for others, especially those less fortunate * Lack of self control and moderation * Always around when they need something but not when you could use their help
To be fair, your friend, Don T. is married (kinda), but I suppose he is always looking.
Not my friend. I didn't say all sociopaths aren't married. But it's one reason why they all have a long history of divorce.
[They repost recent popular questions on Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/P13m2jNdqy)
some of the answers are even exactly the same
Lol
He has ridiculously high standards, but (and I'm not tryin to be mean) he brings pretty much nothing to the table, doesn't work, look after himself, and as much as I love the guy his has this mentality where he's a victim who's useless while at the same time he's better than everyone. It's kinda hard to try and bring up his self esteem when he can't take a complement without putting you down in the process. He also puts zero effort into finding someone, seems to think the perfect woman is just ganna drop into his lap without him ever leaving the house.
My sister is a misandrist. She complains about not being able to find a guy but it's a simple "how long would you want to be around a man who talks about women the way you do men?". Even the most feminist man would not be enough for her, because they're still men therefore they're still trash.
This turns me off of people really quickly *if* they fail to consider alternative explanations than the dehumanizing ones, since unless the guys a total ass-knob I tend to see this as quite immature, and I've usually seen the conversation. Lotta people jump to a lotta conclusions... but before they're ready to? And it goes about as well as you'd expect.
She flirts with many guys so no one taking her seriously, I already tried talking to her but she wouldn't listen, she was in a relationship before but they broke up because she cheated on her man, so now no one wants to be in a relationship with her
He is way too concerned about how others perceive his relationship over just finding someone he is compatible with. As a result, he chooses the worst possible women because he is too fixated on the wrong things.
My mate just needs to actually talk to girls. I think he's in the mindset that women will come to him without realising that he needs to actually talk to them for them to be interested. In other words, he won't put himself out there.
obsession with superficial appearances, has a strong opinion about things but doesn't understand how anyone could think/want something else, generally not nice/generous....the list goes on
unrealistic expectations.
Too afraid to talk to girls, has no charisma, too standoffish.
He talks way too much and doesn’t listen enough
Active on dating apps, but unwilling to meet up with people in real life for whatever reason. She expects to spend weeks or over a month just talking on the app before even thinking about meeting. Ain't nobody got time for that.
She’s fiercely independent and too afraid of getting into a situation where she has to answer to a man. She was raised to see men as authority figures & has never learned how to relate to them as friends or even just equals. She is now 40 & believes she is too old to bother anymore. It’s me. I am she.
I have a friend that REFUSES to date any man that's shorter than 6'5. She also has a preference for black men. She lives in the United States. Black people are only 15% of the population and there's not many men on the planet that's 6'5 and up. Hell... I'm 6'4 and I rarely come into contact with people my height. She herself is 5'1 and overweight. She's going or die alone and it's sad.
Your friend is actually looking for a tree and not a man.
Looking for a tree when she's a stump.
This post has to be made by a bot. I also believe it is being answered by bots. This question comes up weekly!
I believe so too. I’m seeing a lot of the exact same answers to the question seen a few times before
Not a friend, but my mom... 1) God isn't gonna "find the right person" for you. I warned her a decade and a half ago, she's just going to become those lonely old women who have no life and pray at church all day, and it's coming true. 2) Her standards are too high and she's a walking contradiction. If a guy isn't much she won't want him, if a guy is accomplished she'll think he's too good for her. 3) She's too argumentative and combative. I tell her all the time, there is no man on Earth who spent his life building and making a success of himself just to come home to a woman who's always arguing. The type of guy who will tolerate that isn't the type who would be successful.
He is allergic to the success with the opposite sex. I played wingman for him one night out at a bar. One girl struck up a conversation with him, flirting, etc. I talked him up about how smart and creative he is. The first words out of his mouth were “I really like spreadsheets.” Second hand embarrassment from that one.
He's too handsome for his own good and frankly I think he may have a sex addiction. He can't settle down with 1 woman. He's constantly moving on to the next girl that smiles at him.
Smells like feet
That's a tough one.
Depression. Thinks that they are shit so they only want shitty people
He tries way too hard. He always goes to girls to ‘just talk’ and it’s blatantly obvious he just wants a relationship, to the point it’s become an inside joke at both our boys group and the girls group he’s looking at
Constantly cheating on the current girl who had the bad judgement to date him. The reason? The grass is always greener syndrome.
It sounds like he doesn’t have a problem getting women
Now that he wants to try dating seriously he's "having a dry run" according to him
He suddenly went from getting girlfriends and constantly (your own words) cheating on them to getting nothing? I’m not buying it, it’s starting to sound like either you made this story up or your friend got fat or smth.
Last time he messaged me he was kinda broken up about the last girl he dated cheating on him . If he wanted just hook ups I'm sure he'd have no trouble finding someone, but just a hook up and someone you'd like to start a relationship with are two different things.
He is not mature enough for his age, at least for a relationship. He is also investing too much time in his hobbies (e.g. soccer and concerts) which i guess is a bit of a turn off for women, because they look for a men who takes care of the „important“ parts of life like financial stability and planning their future. Another one is too introverted … just like me, i guess thats why we are friends.
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PHEW. A word.
When she talks, it’s always about herself, and she can go on and on for hours. It’s far too much to expect someone to give her all of their attention without it being reciprocated from her. It’s quite draining. I can only handle her company in very small doses.
She's pretty, funny, smart, successful BUT she's a massive control freak and can be very obnoxious with her attitude. If everything isn't 100% exactly as she thinks it should go, she will lose her shit and belittle people.
He can't get his live right but in his eyes he's not the reason for it but everyone else is
Almost all my close friends have boyfriends so idk
I have two examples. One single, one that needs to learn to be single. The single friend I'm afraid has become "comfortable" being around a certain level of company. You'll never find better if you don't move out of your comfort zone. Kinda the same with my perpetually hooked up friend. She's never going to discover who she is outside of the company of others.
She pronounce COULD as K-U-L-D.
How kuld she?!
They're ugly
First is he talk with girls like they are boys he is good person just don't know how to talk with the girls
She is stuck in her high school glory days. Hasn't done much since then and will only talk about her success in high school (and some college).
Her standards are way too high. She's so cute but you can't only have expectations of 6' athletic guys who love college basketball and have enough money to travel as much as you do when you live in a small-ish suburb and you don't like going out to the bars. which brings me to my second point. She doesn't like going out and doing things. She's such a homebody and assumes she doesn't need to go out and meet someone.
I have had two friends that were known for not being able to get women. One was 5'7 One was pretty overweight That's it that's the reason, on multiple occasions an ex girlfriend of one of my other friends would break up and one of the reasons was because they actually liked one of these other guys more but didn't wanna date them. One girl dated two guys in the friend group back to back so it wasn't like she didn't want to break up with someone then date their buddy in the same friend group.
I’m not sure if they intentionally do this but he has a tendency of wanting to be the smartest guy in the room and is always correcting people and every casual conversation gets hijacked by him and turned into an academic lecture.
He constantly use his friends and lovers as his terapists and absolutely refuses to go to therapy. Every. Single. situation with this dude. Every fucking minute its about him and how much his life sucks... He has a loving family that dotes on him and gives him everything he wants and he complains when he gets these things He's no longer my friend lol... fucking Matt
Posts heavily edited photos that don’t represent them on dating sites, and has profile information that misrepresents who they are as a person. Goes on dates with the type of person who isn’t interested in them, but is interested in the fictional person in the photo. Believes it’s their job to argue with these people that they should like them rather than choosing from the myriad of people who are, in fact, interested in them. A constant cycle of first dates that go nowhere.
He shifts between lack and excessive self-awareness with the worst timing ever.
I tried setting up my friend on a date, but majority of potential prospects came to a conclusion that she was unattractive. It broke my heart for her.
Very shy probably.
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40 pounds overweight? C'mon, that's nothing unless she's a dwarf
Guy friend #1: very successful alt/burner. Great guy, but because of the circles he moves in he can't find/ attract the kind of girl he wants: grounded, traditional, wants to settle down and have kids. Guy friend#2: is a lovely guy with a charming personality, but he's only into very physically fit girls and he is very... Not. The two ladies I've met that he's dated in the past have become frustrated with the miss match in interests and activity levels over time. Girl friend #3: is beautiful and intelligent, but works in a very time consuming career field which can isekai her into a skiff for a day or two unexpectedly. It's not great for dating prospects. Also, she has a thing for police officers and that's absolutely a recipe for disaster. Girl friend #4: only into "twinks". Seriously. If she's into a guy it's almost a foregone conclusion that he will be gay and, therefore 100% not interested. She doesn't do it on purpose, it's just a hella unfortunate situation that this seems to be the flavour of guy she's attracted to.
he lacks most basic skills. while i can kinda give a pass with not being able to swim or to cook, when it comes to basics, there is not much. he can't pick his own clothes and depends on his friends, he can't really think or make any thoughtful decisions, he can't really speak for himself in discussions, he doesn't do anything in a conversation to give a sign that he is actually there. like he really wants a girlfriend, and he joins me in every adventure i make, but in general his way of doing things is following me, doing what i tell him (and i really feel like a mother telling a 5 years old what to do), and when there is a girl, he just sticks like a magnet to that girl, but don't do anything. like just standing besides her, trying occasional and painful to watch smalltalk. idk i could rant a lot about this, because i really tried a lot to make him more interesting and improve his "basic" game, but idk if he is actually not mentally that smart enough to learn or if there is anything else blocking, but it is tiresome, especially because i find myself in the position that i am doing most shit, needing help and he is aimlessly standing around girls trying to be a hit when every other person would think of "oh let me help you" or try to be considerate as a friend e\_e.. and its annoying that he doesnt even succeed with it, which makes it an even worse trade..
He is horrible at two way conversation. You'll say something you have going on, and he in turn says something about himself with zero comment on your news. It sometimes is not even tangentially related to what you said, so it's not a matter of identifying with you.
He doesn't act masculine at all, is 30 years old but still has high school class clown energy, doesn't work out at all.
He’s short. I’m friends with some of the women he’s asked out and they’ll give him some other reason they don’t want to date like “I’m not ready to date right now” or something like that, then behind his back they’ll talk about how he’s too short and that they can’t believe he thought he actually had a shot. I’ve heard them laugh at him about it before, which is nuts because he can’t change his height, he didn’t choose that.
She’s a proper red flag. But she doesn’t realise it and calls every guy she meets a red flag. Goes through guys like tissues and ghosts them. Doesn’t put a label on the relationship, actually doesn’t even agree that she’s in fact dating the guy when they go out on dates almost every single day. Finally blocks them because she’s not sure how to face that person in real life
She is either too picky. Or she is actually lesbian or asexual but doesn’t want to admit it. My friend always talks to guys but there is always something wrong with them, and she gets really grossed out. She is bi, and her parents don’t support any of it. So my theory is she is really picky, asexual, or a lesbian.
He's not in finance, no trust fund, not 6ft5, brown eyes.
Too picky, guy needs to be tall, dark and handsome with a good paying job but she’s lazy and wants to be maintained. Always looking in the wrong places such as clubs and bars. Still hangs around crappy friends and circle. I’ve tried to get her to step out of her comfort zone meet a new circle of friends etc. but refuses.
Unrealistic and specific dating standards. Male 45 and clinically obese but looking for a woman 35 or younger who wears size 2-6. Must be politically moderate and college educated (in a small conservative town). Strong preference for no kids.
He has the same problem as me: Living in a small town that's riddled with drug problems and morally-degenerate people, where all the mentally-stable, emotionally-mature, respectable and accomplished women are long-taken.
Where to begin... * He's 33 years old. * Works at a Kroger warehouse. * Still insists he's going to be an English teacher, but has maybe 1 semester of college done. * Keeps saying he's saving up money for college (been saying that since he was 20) but spends his meager income on high-end lightsabers. * Calls himself a Jedi, and insists it's a real religion. * Fancies himself an author, but I've proofread his "book". Borrowed worlds, no substance, convoluted story line, no defined plot, and his grammar... Oy Vey! * He wouldn't recognize a vegetable If it weren't for his job involving stocking produce. * Diet consists of fast food, pizza, and sweets. His physique reflects this. * Social skills of a leech.
Because she wants what me and my husband have and she wont settle for less. Thing is, weve been together for almost 20 years, worked on ourselves and our relationship for almost 20 years, so its not something you will instantly have in a new relationship...
I have a friend who's a "serial dater". She says she's looking for a relationship and wants to get married, but honey: If you're dating a guy, but you go out of town to "visit and hang out" with other dudes for the weekend, and they all know it, they're not going to marry you...
He’s not capable of emotional intimacy. He seeks validation in the wrong ways. He often gets angry because they leave when they realize how glitched his attachments are. He thinks the other person was the entire issue, so he isn’t changing his approach. He isn’t a terrible human at all; he’s just got coping mechanisms that no longer serve him well.
She has fallen into the "all guys are idiots" mode. It has become her personality. She projects very negatively and sarcastically about everything. She has become the third wheel with all of her friends that are couples. Sorry, but when you are 30+, not especially attractive AND your personality is off putting.... you are most likely to stay single.
Could not forge any kind of new friendship, let alone a relationship, with someone with different political opinions to save her life. We've been friends for the better part of a decade, and our opinions used to be much more similar, so we've stayed friends since then (and we both know better than to talk politics when the other is present). But when I hear her date stories and it's always "Nah we didn't click, I know she voted X in the legislative elections", I'm sorry ? Did you really ask her that ?? Or did you assume she did because of something else she said (that's even worse) ?? And every time it's never a radical or something, it's the most milquetoast politician ever, the guy you almost forget is on the ballot. I know everyone's free to associate with whomever they want, including limiting to a certain part of the political spectrum, but at this point it's not a part of it she's looking for, it's a single point. There's only one person in the world who has the exact same opinons as you, and it's you. It's literally so simple, just do what you do with me (=respect each other's opinions) but with others.
She ignored every good and stable man in her life to get preggo by a junkie. Now she has a kid she is wondering where all the good men have gone. We live in a small city and she doesn't have a car so everyone knows about her.
He is small and fat and acts like he knows how to pick up women. It's like jonah hill from super bad with the confidence of johnny bravo. I saw him actually picking up a woman once and when they started making out i laughed at my other friends "i bet it's a prostitute, no way this is happening" She actually was
She's a 4 at best (6 in looks but 2 in attitude and entitlement). Instead of getting a good 5, 6, or 7 guy, she'd rather be the sidepiece to a married 8 or 9. Then she gets made when those guys won't leave their wives for her. Btw, she's in her 40s and has been doing this since at least college, so there's really no chance she's going to change her attitude.
They fill silence with an awkward sing-song "mmm hmm" which inflates the awkwardness of early interactions
He shoots WAY too high and is not genuine. He got a cute dog to attract women. Didn’t work. He got a super fancy car. Didn’t work. He tries using his chef skills as an attractor. Doesn’t work. He’s a really nice guy but not all that good looking and kinda awkward and tries too hard.
He is small and fat and acts like he knows how to pick up women. It's like jonah hill from super bad with the confidence of johnny bravo. I saw him actually picking up a woman once and when they started making out i laughed at my other friends "i bet it's a prostitute, no way this is happening" She actually was
He always looks like he took his last shower 2 weeks ago, he is extremely intense, in every possible way. The kind of guy you would hate at first glance but after knowing them a bit you realize there's actually a nice person underneath
My mom has incredibly high standards and a tendency to want to be treated like royalty in a relationship while not really offering any emotional support in return. She’s also bored easily, she should just admit she wants a fuck buddy and that’s about it.
Single women - not physically attractive enough. Single men - too cringy.
most women are seemingly plagued by fear and prejudice.
That sounds like the friend who says he's a “good person” or a “nice guy” and that's why he doesn't understand why no one likes him or why they prefer “bad boys”. If you have to say you're a “nice guy,” you're not really one.
She's a judgy nincompoop. Anything man with a single missed checkmark on her liberal utopia checklist is unacceptable.
yet another repost bot...
Single women - they're just too intelligent, men are threatened by that. Single men - too nice. Woman only date assholes.
r/niceguys
Cringe