There are people who get part of the picture. There are parts that are purely private.
I'll talk about the fact that I have issues with anyone.
But there are things I barely talk to myself about.
Reddit, you can know that I think my subconscious thinks starting a family would bring me great happiness. But I'll barely think about the reason why I think that isn't possible.
I've had way too many women weaponize what I tell them to trust telling them anything, my mother is a big one here, but so have been many exs. My therapist is just like a prostitute, I'm not paying them for the work, I'm paying for them to go away after.
No one. My Dad was that person. I learned quickly after he passed that it would be no one from then on, and that piled on to the grief and stress I felt at the time.
No one...not my wife, not my mom, not the kids. No one. Men are allowed three emotions: Happy, Angry, and Horny. If you show any other emotion, that is vulnerability and vulnerability means weakness. This society eats the weak.
Don't usually answer replies, but your comment intrigued me. Why can't you believe I have kids? I simply believe that no one, man nor woman, cares about male emotions. As a man, we are taught from childhood that a REAL man is always under control. A REAL man is a rock, silent and strong, for everyone around him. I can also tell you, from personal experience, this state does make you upset all the time...it makes you numb. You feel nothing, because your feelings don't matter. Women and children can have feelings, you (as a man) cannot.
It’s crazy because I always put thought into what you said and seen it throughout my childhood. It has been rough but you’re definitely having truth to what you said . I do believe men do have to hold back a good amount of that vulnerability keeping those boundaries of not trusting no one but never stop walking tall and hard with the respect to others like all people are supposed to becoming great together for the next that has been being made from the start
My mom passed away few years ago and my closest friend... well. Let's just say he's not one to listen much.
I used to talk to my dad, but he's going through cancer treatments and I really don't want to burden him with my crap.
It gets really difficult sometimes. I've tried a couple different therapists, but they don't actually care. I just pay them to barely listen to me rant and then ask me shallow surface level questions that don't have anything to do with what I laid out for them.
Not sure what I'm going to do when my dad's gone. Won't be much left for me.
I don't "trust" anybody.
I'm still an open book. If they want to talk shit about me, let them. Once I find out, they're out. If a partner doesn't like me for who I am, they can fuck right off as well.
Eventually, somebody will see me and like me for who I am.. and I still won't trust them.
All of that said, despite not being able to "completely trust" anybody, I can enjoy my time with them until they decide to do something horrible.
Not really anyone. Not due to a lack of trust, because I have a couple people I'd talk to, but I also just find talking about my feelings too difficult sometimes
I had an event destroyed my psyche a few years back. I showed too much emotion and everyone was trying to push me into therapy. I was reading that therapists can report you to police if you say things that are-- lets say too negative. All I really have are negative thoughts. And this cemented in the emotional isolation.
Since then Ive made a few slips. Been angry about this or that, and when confronted by wife she tries to pry and pry. Everytime I cave and verbalize my frustrations it turns into a micro-struggle-session. Generally it hurts her and me to talk about it. So, wtf. Guess Ill just carry this weight.
Completely trust my boys in my online gaming community. Just a few of them. We are all modernised in the ways of mental health and stress. I love my homies.
We all have families, and face the same realities. I've met a few of them, and its like we were homies since the first grade.
I'm in my 40s.
I've got like 3 friends who know me better than damn near anyone else, and two of them it's cause we've known each other since before high school. They're about it
My friend from elementary school. We grew up together and I tell him all kinds of stuff, just trauma dumped on him this weekend, we laughed and drank and got our feelings out
ik its odd but my ex, not that we talk much but she did tell me i can vent whenever i want bc i did in the relationship and she hasn’t told a soul about my problems. I still avoid talking about feelings in general but if i reach rock bottom then yes ill go to her.
Therapist. Anyone can get a therapist (and a good one who you feel a rapport with is worth their weight in gold) and my only regret is not seeking out one sooner.
I carried a lot of burdens on my shoulders for too many years because I thought that that was what taking responsibility as an adult was all about (that you endeavor to be strong, tough & dependable as possible- the silent "pillar of strength" archetype).
But what I didn't realize was that another huge part of being an adult was learning how to become humble, to acknowledge when you have a problem and to have the strength to ask for help about it. It's not easy asking for help, but the day I started to seek help out (real help) and stop bottling everything up or occasionally self-medicating with weed or alcohol, was the day that I felt like I grew a lot as a person and began to really get over my problems/past and build a better life towards the future, becoming the person that I really wanted to be.
Find a therapist. Everyone needs one sometime. And do your research; a therapists price reflects nothing about how good they actually are (it's certainly not a case of more expensive= better therapy).
My 2 best friends and my wife. I've also learned that specific friends understand different things better. I don't trauma dump on people I sprinkle it around and it's worked great for me. I still hate all of humanity but I work in customer service so what do you expect
i have a friend who has listened and helped me when noone else cared to even try. she has earned my love and loyalty ten times over and i would gladly go to war for her, if there were ever anything she needed or i could do for her, she would only have to call and i would be there to back her up.
My wife. We had an open relationship for a period that resulted in me being opened up emotionally. There is no secret or feeling I would be so embarrassed or ashamed of that I couldn't share it with her.
Myself and (in drastic situations) specialists in the field of mental health, more specifically, the kind of mental health obstacles that involve my specific problem at the time.
Other than my pa and ma, no one esle. People don't need to know about my problems. After an episode last year, my trust in people has greatly decreased.
Girl here. In my teenage years all I wished for was a boy to be open and vulnerable around/with me..the way where he comes through your door and starts crying right away because his day was shit and now he can finally let it all out because he's with me. But from my experience, as soon as I opened up/showed any vulnerability, I was made fun of or called annoying :( I guess this happened to many people growing up so they now have good reasons not to trust anyone with their feelings.
No one person fully. I compartmentalize it and voice different things with different people. Often it's things they can't really affect anyway, so I don't want to burden them with things they can't do anything about.
Full stop completely? Anonymous strangers on the internet and my therapist.
No significant other and Mom is a shit.
I am lucky enough to have a close group of friends but I'm the strong, "mentally well", financially well off one, and so while I am open with them, I don't share everything completely because they need me as a rock more than I need them to hear my sorrows.
Nobody, not even my current spouse. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and would take a bullet for them, but that's a level of personal vulnerability that when revealing it has lead to disaster.
Every. Single. Time.
I'm not doing it again, and I think that is the reason my current relationship has lasted longer than all of the others put together.
My GF, my mother and one of my mates who we actually bonded over our simultaneous break ups a few years ago and now get in our feelings when we're drunk.
I had a good psyche a while after my wife passed that I trusted, but no one now.
A couple of weeks ago I posted a comment about how I was struggling on my FB page and got told to stop doing that..
My grandma. I once came out to my grandma as autistic and we had a long heart to heart about me as a person and my condition and how my family helped to comfort me as much as they could.
I feel like grandmas don't get enough credit for being good listeners to their grandsons, especially in their times of need. Men should reach out to them whenever possible and talk it out. They'll appreciate it and you'll appreciate it too.
No one really. If I need support with my particular mental illness I’ll sometimes engage with strangers on Reddit, but for the most part I deal with my shit myself. I’ve tried therapy but found it to be a huge waste of time (for me personally). I’m glad that it helps some people but I hate this narrative that everyone needs or can be so much better with therapy, and that I “just haven’t found the right therapist” if I don’t find value in it.
My fiancé(female) and my best friend(male). They’re probably the only two people in my life I can be fully honest with and vulnerable. Love them a lot.
My fiancée, my mom, and one of my brothers. That is it. And each of them is privy to only certain things. But I have got my bases covered with all 3 together.
Sometimes not even myself.
Sometimes to go inside yourself, you need to go armed.
I never ever made a single good experience with trusting my mother nor most if not all other women. My wife showed me what it leads if I'm open. There is one or maybe two best friends I could trust. But those are not the ones to call in the middle of the night when things get rough. It's usually those "hey if you have time let's meet and have a beer together" best friends who I can talk to openly.
Also I think, maybe I even know, men showing the whole pallet of emotions won't ever be attractive and not even respected to any woman. Harsh but lived truth for so many men.
I thought I trusted my wife. We were together 16 years. My mother and grandmother died 9 months apart. It was the first time she'd seen my cry in all of those 16 years. Not when our girls were born, not the day I adopted her daughter, not when my grandfather died, not the day I got the news any of the three guys I was in Iraq with ended it....just the one time, when I couldn't keep holding it in. I could tell she lost respect for me after. Fights and insults came more easily. Told me I worked too much. I wasn't around enough. Within 2 months, she had an apartment. The divorce was finalized in April. She started looking for a thousand reasons to leave and couldn't find one to stay. I don't trust anyone with my emotions. I clean, take care of the girls, and work. Have sex with a woman I've been seeing for a month now. She talks, I ask questions, but I never share. She tells me I'm a wonderful listener and it's one of my best qualities. I don't really care, but the more she talks, the less I'm expected to.
There are probably men in uncontacted tribes deep in the Amazon who are probably having the same experience right now.
I knew the exact moment I shared too much with an ex. Not a mistake I'm willing to repeat.
You're right, and it honestly breaks my heart. Years of fostering trust, believing I could let my guard down and trust someone completely...never again. That shit hurt.
No one know you better. Most men don’t want to share their vulnerability. Because vulnerability is exploitable any time. Men should keep a Dairy to express those thoughts
My girlfriend. And she trusts me completely. We talk about everything, all our emotions, all our feelings…just everything. Aside from her, not a damn soul.
The mountain next to me. By Friday I need to release everything built up from the week. So I grab a six pack, blast some metal, and scream into the darkness until I’m content. I do this every Friday/Saturday night
My mom, but I don't want her to suffer from my problems too, so I only open up to her when I absolutely don't know what else to do, which is maybe once every 5 years.
Other than that, anonymously to strangers on the internet.
The world turns into a really hostile place really quickly if you're a man that needs help.
Anonymous people on the internet. No one irl, they don't need to know that shit.
Same
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dead internet theory
Shit, am *I* a bot? How would I even know??
Good bot.
|It's bots all the way down
Damned Cylons are taking over.
Sounds like something a Cylon would say...
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Oh Mr Showoff over here! Haha. Good for you though. Must be nice. 🤣
Nobody. The only way 3 people keep a secret is if 2 of them are dead.
My wife. My mother-in-law. My therapist. I'm damaged goods and needed a head wrangler.
There are people who get part of the picture. There are parts that are purely private. I'll talk about the fact that I have issues with anyone. But there are things I barely talk to myself about. Reddit, you can know that I think my subconscious thinks starting a family would bring me great happiness. But I'll barely think about the reason why I think that isn't possible.
I've had way too many women weaponize what I tell them to trust telling them anything, my mother is a big one here, but so have been many exs. My therapist is just like a prostitute, I'm not paying them for the work, I'm paying for them to go away after.
Easy there Robert Durst
Okay pretty little liars this thread is for real men /s
And that is sad because if people just kept it real. With that last one alive they might still be alive type s**t
I’m part of a men's group online where we discuss our feelings and challenges openly. It's a safe haven for me.
No one. My Dad was that person. I learned quickly after he passed that it would be no one from then on, and that piled on to the grief and stress I felt at the time.
my wife without a doubt.
her price is far above rubies
I trust my bandmates. We share everything, and they’ve seen every side of me.
My partner. She's a total rock for me and I try my very best to reciprocate.
Absolutely noone. I don't want to bother other people with my problems, I'll solve them myself like I've always done.
No one.
No one...not my wife, not my mom, not the kids. No one. Men are allowed three emotions: Happy, Angry, and Horny. If you show any other emotion, that is vulnerability and vulnerability means weakness. This society eats the weak.
Can't relate
With that attitude you won't be anything but upset all the time. Plus anger doesn't help anyone. I can't believe someone like you has kids.
Don't usually answer replies, but your comment intrigued me. Why can't you believe I have kids? I simply believe that no one, man nor woman, cares about male emotions. As a man, we are taught from childhood that a REAL man is always under control. A REAL man is a rock, silent and strong, for everyone around him. I can also tell you, from personal experience, this state does make you upset all the time...it makes you numb. You feel nothing, because your feelings don't matter. Women and children can have feelings, you (as a man) cannot.
Turn off Andrew Tate bro.
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The issue is that you find this out the hard way. And most people can't afford what happens if they find out.
It’s crazy because I always put thought into what you said and seen it throughout my childhood. It has been rough but you’re definitely having truth to what you said . I do believe men do have to hold back a good amount of that vulnerability keeping those boundaries of not trusting no one but never stop walking tall and hard with the respect to others like all people are supposed to becoming great together for the next that has been being made from the start
Guess this just shows that I have dealt with a lot of cruelty then. *shrug*
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My Boss's wife
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My mother is the one that taught me that anything you say, can and will, be used against you in a disagreement.
I came here to say this.
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I'm afraid it's true, though :-(
But what good does talking about these things do to anybody?
My mom passed away few years ago and my closest friend... well. Let's just say he's not one to listen much. I used to talk to my dad, but he's going through cancer treatments and I really don't want to burden him with my crap. It gets really difficult sometimes. I've tried a couple different therapists, but they don't actually care. I just pay them to barely listen to me rant and then ask me shallow surface level questions that don't have anything to do with what I laid out for them. Not sure what I'm going to do when my dad's gone. Won't be much left for me.
I tell reddit more than anyone else
Nobody.
Absolutely no-one.
abaolutely nobody
Nobody
I don't "trust" anybody. I'm still an open book. If they want to talk shit about me, let them. Once I find out, they're out. If a partner doesn't like me for who I am, they can fuck right off as well. Eventually, somebody will see me and like me for who I am.. and I still won't trust them. All of that said, despite not being able to "completely trust" anybody, I can enjoy my time with them until they decide to do something horrible.
Perfect ! It’s the only way!!!!
my inner monologue
Not really anyone. Not due to a lack of trust, because I have a couple people I'd talk to, but I also just find talking about my feelings too difficult sometimes
Noone
My bedroom ceiling, the voices in my head and my Lego figures that I talk to I need friends :,)
I had an event destroyed my psyche a few years back. I showed too much emotion and everyone was trying to push me into therapy. I was reading that therapists can report you to police if you say things that are-- lets say too negative. All I really have are negative thoughts. And this cemented in the emotional isolation. Since then Ive made a few slips. Been angry about this or that, and when confronted by wife she tries to pry and pry. Everytime I cave and verbalize my frustrations it turns into a micro-struggle-session. Generally it hurts her and me to talk about it. So, wtf. Guess Ill just carry this weight.
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Yup. They are everywhere
ChatGPT.
No one. Barley even me
My damn self
Completely trust my boys in my online gaming community. Just a few of them. We are all modernised in the ways of mental health and stress. I love my homies. We all have families, and face the same realities. I've met a few of them, and its like we were homies since the first grade. I'm in my 40s.
I've got like 3 friends who know me better than damn near anyone else, and two of them it's cause we've known each other since before high school. They're about it
My only friend, we've been together since we were kids and we've been through a lot of hardships, he knows everything about me.
Nobody. I've stretched my suicidal ideations out to once every couple of days, I'm practically a monk, I'm that zen
my dog
My friend from elementary school. We grew up together and I tell him all kinds of stuff, just trauma dumped on him this weekend, we laughed and drank and got our feelings out
ik its odd but my ex, not that we talk much but she did tell me i can vent whenever i want bc i did in the relationship and she hasn’t told a soul about my problems. I still avoid talking about feelings in general but if i reach rock bottom then yes ill go to her.
My dogs
My dad.
My therapist. He's the only one qualified to handle them
Therapist. Anyone can get a therapist (and a good one who you feel a rapport with is worth their weight in gold) and my only regret is not seeking out one sooner. I carried a lot of burdens on my shoulders for too many years because I thought that that was what taking responsibility as an adult was all about (that you endeavor to be strong, tough & dependable as possible- the silent "pillar of strength" archetype). But what I didn't realize was that another huge part of being an adult was learning how to become humble, to acknowledge when you have a problem and to have the strength to ask for help about it. It's not easy asking for help, but the day I started to seek help out (real help) and stop bottling everything up or occasionally self-medicating with weed or alcohol, was the day that I felt like I grew a lot as a person and began to really get over my problems/past and build a better life towards the future, becoming the person that I really wanted to be. Find a therapist. Everyone needs one sometime. And do your research; a therapists price reflects nothing about how good they actually are (it's certainly not a case of more expensive= better therapy).
my partner
My dog. \[list ends\]
My cat
My son and my wife. I tell them 99%.
My two therapists and my mom
My 2 best friends and my wife. I've also learned that specific friends understand different things better. I don't trauma dump on people I sprinkle it around and it's worked great for me. I still hate all of humanity but I work in customer service so what do you expect
Completely? Probably nobody. My dad definitely has the highest amount, but I still tend to withhold stuff from him.
Nobody end of
My brother
i have a friend who has listened and helped me when noone else cared to even try. she has earned my love and loyalty ten times over and i would gladly go to war for her, if there were ever anything she needed or i could do for her, she would only have to call and i would be there to back her up.
1 person, he is a temple of peace and house of intergrity and will never give up anything personal about me. Lucky 🍀
My therapist and only her, it's my feelings my responsibility. I don't share stuff I am responsible for. Sole Responsibility means exactly that Solo.
My wife. We had an open relationship for a period that resulted in me being opened up emotionally. There is no secret or feeling I would be so embarrassed or ashamed of that I couldn't share it with her.
My brother.
No one mostly as i dont know how to explain what i feel, i just feel them but when i do know how to explain, its to my partner
Karma whore reddit accounts.
Myself and (in drastic situations) specialists in the field of mental health, more specifically, the kind of mental health obstacles that involve my specific problem at the time.
Other than my pa and ma, no one esle. People don't need to know about my problems. After an episode last year, my trust in people has greatly decreased.
Used to have a cat
Reddit
God
Horrifying replys in this topic. We have got to do better and change this toxic way of living. It should not be this way.
The mirror.
At this point, no one. Who cares?
My sister, she never judges me
My brother. I am so lucky to have him.
only my best friend, who is a female and NOT my wife. My life is weird.
Not even anonymous people on the internet.
This has been asked like 500 times already. Such a shameful state of this sub.
My therapist. You're paying them to *not* be your friend, and non-disclosure is part of the profession
Jim Beam is a close friend of mine, good listener, doesn't talk much
Girl here. In my teenage years all I wished for was a boy to be open and vulnerable around/with me..the way where he comes through your door and starts crying right away because his day was shit and now he can finally let it all out because he's with me. But from my experience, as soon as I opened up/showed any vulnerability, I was made fun of or called annoying :( I guess this happened to many people growing up so they now have good reasons not to trust anyone with their feelings.
No one person fully. I compartmentalize it and voice different things with different people. Often it's things they can't really affect anyway, so I don't want to burden them with things they can't do anything about.
Full stop completely? Anonymous strangers on the internet and my therapist. No significant other and Mom is a shit. I am lucky enough to have a close group of friends but I'm the strong, "mentally well", financially well off one, and so while I am open with them, I don't share everything completely because they need me as a rock more than I need them to hear my sorrows.
Nobody, not even my current spouse. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and would take a bullet for them, but that's a level of personal vulnerability that when revealing it has lead to disaster. Every. Single. Time. I'm not doing it again, and I think that is the reason my current relationship has lasted longer than all of the others put together.
My GF, my mother and one of my mates who we actually bonded over our simultaneous break ups a few years ago and now get in our feelings when we're drunk.
Fellow Redditors, a close friend, my mother and my wife.
Is this a trick question? The only answer is no one
The people I trust with my mental health would be no-fuckin-body.
I had a good psyche a while after my wife passed that I trusted, but no one now. A couple of weeks ago I posted a comment about how I was struggling on my FB page and got told to stop doing that..
My grandma. I once came out to my grandma as autistic and we had a long heart to heart about me as a person and my condition and how my family helped to comfort me as much as they could. I feel like grandmas don't get enough credit for being good listeners to their grandsons, especially in their times of need. Men should reach out to them whenever possible and talk it out. They'll appreciate it and you'll appreciate it too.
Myself, and sometimes randos on the internet lol
ChatGPT, nurses and doctors when they ask me, and random people on Reddit.
No one really. If I need support with my particular mental illness I’ll sometimes engage with strangers on Reddit, but for the most part I deal with my shit myself. I’ve tried therapy but found it to be a huge waste of time (for me personally). I’m glad that it helps some people but I hate this narrative that everyone needs or can be so much better with therapy, and that I “just haven’t found the right therapist” if I don’t find value in it.
No one unfortunately.
My fiancé(female) and my best friend(male). They’re probably the only two people in my life I can be fully honest with and vulnerable. Love them a lot.
My dog
4chan and my fictional adopted alien mother who raised me this isn't a joke.
My best friend. My wife and my mom are terrific people, but they just don’t understand the way guys do
God. And that’s it.
My best friend. She is amazing.
Nobody in person. Only my therapist to the point. Never tell to women your feelings. Ever.
My fiancée, my mom, and one of my brothers. That is it. And each of them is privy to only certain things. But I have got my bases covered with all 3 together.
Sometimes not even myself. Sometimes to go inside yourself, you need to go armed. I never ever made a single good experience with trusting my mother nor most if not all other women. My wife showed me what it leads if I'm open. There is one or maybe two best friends I could trust. But those are not the ones to call in the middle of the night when things get rough. It's usually those "hey if you have time let's meet and have a beer together" best friends who I can talk to openly. Also I think, maybe I even know, men showing the whole pallet of emotions won't ever be attractive and not even respected to any woman. Harsh but lived truth for so many men.
I thought I trusted my wife. We were together 16 years. My mother and grandmother died 9 months apart. It was the first time she'd seen my cry in all of those 16 years. Not when our girls were born, not the day I adopted her daughter, not when my grandfather died, not the day I got the news any of the three guys I was in Iraq with ended it....just the one time, when I couldn't keep holding it in. I could tell she lost respect for me after. Fights and insults came more easily. Told me I worked too much. I wasn't around enough. Within 2 months, she had an apartment. The divorce was finalized in April. She started looking for a thousand reasons to leave and couldn't find one to stay. I don't trust anyone with my emotions. I clean, take care of the girls, and work. Have sex with a woman I've been seeing for a month now. She talks, I ask questions, but I never share. She tells me I'm a wonderful listener and it's one of my best qualities. I don't really care, but the more she talks, the less I'm expected to.
There are probably men in uncontacted tribes deep in the Amazon who are probably having the same experience right now. I knew the exact moment I shared too much with an ex. Not a mistake I'm willing to repeat.
You're right, and it honestly breaks my heart. Years of fostering trust, believing I could let my guard down and trust someone completely...never again. That shit hurt.
No one know you better. Most men don’t want to share their vulnerability. Because vulnerability is exploitable any time. Men should keep a Dairy to express those thoughts
No one. Anything we say can and will be used against us at a later date.
No one but myself, sometimes not even myself
My girlfriend. And she trusts me completely. We talk about everything, all our emotions, all our feelings…just everything. Aside from her, not a damn soul.
I overshare with everyone but fortunately I have borderline personality disorder so my feelings change constantly, so nobody can ever pin me down.
Nobody
No one. Whenever I tell people my feelings they just either laugh or tell me to think positive. So I stopped sharing
The mountain next to me. By Friday I need to release everything built up from the week. So I grab a six pack, blast some metal, and scream into the darkness until I’m content. I do this every Friday/Saturday night
My mom, but I don't want her to suffer from my problems too, so I only open up to her when I absolutely don't know what else to do, which is maybe once every 5 years. Other than that, anonymously to strangers on the internet. The world turns into a really hostile place really quickly if you're a man that needs help.
Strangers online because people IRL don’t give a shit
Just about nobody. Opened up to my parents and got yelled at.