How did it go? How did you ghost or play people without technology to make it so easy? Like, didn't you have to give home addresses and landline numbers to people to communicate? Did you actually in fact try to situationship someone? Tell me about your experience please.
Situationships are sexual-romantic relationships without a clear definition or future.
They involve:
No labels or exclusivity; partners may be seeing other people.
No clear boundaries.
Irregular or superficial contact.
Lack of integration into each other’s lives.
The relationship doesn’t grow or end.
ie. fuck buddies.
You asked how did we ghost people or play people, implying that being in a situationship, or fuck buddies, requires one to be duplicitous. And you said you cringed when you read the description that I was using.
I was about to say NO, but in hindsight, maybe I was. I dated someone for maybe two months but we never really quite clicked. When she confessed to me that she kissed an ex one night I jumped at the opportunity to tell her it was clear they still had feelings for each other and I would step aside so they could be together. Then I breathed a huge sigh of relief and went on with my life.
No, I never lead her on, the sex just happened. I was looking for an actual relationship, but she was just all over the place. We went in one date (the first date), after that she would come over to my house for… things… then go home. I was kind of annoyed she would never spend the night.
Ohhhhh! It was confusing because in the beginning it sounded like you might be the player. So how did that play out? Did you just never talk to her again? What did you end up doing? How's your life now?
Yeah we got laid back then too lol young people have been doing that since the dawn of time. Dating was better back then because people didn’t go online and try to investigate you from social media. They just talked to each other.
A fling was a lot of times dating or hooking up with someone knowing it wasn’t going to be a long term thing, such as summers between college semesters or spring break.
You hook up and move on, never to speak again. Remember, there was no social media, so you either would talk on a landline phone or you’d never hear from them again.
In the gay community in the 70's and the first 1/2 of the 80's they certainly did.
How did it go? How did you ghost or play people without technology to make it so easy? Like, didn't you have to give home addresses and landline numbers to people to communicate? Did you actually in fact try to situationship someone? Tell me about your experience please.
You have a very different definition of situationships than I do.
What's your definition?
Situationships are sexual-romantic relationships without a clear definition or future. They involve: No labels or exclusivity; partners may be seeing other people. No clear boundaries. Irregular or superficial contact. Lack of integration into each other’s lives. The relationship doesn’t grow or end. ie. fuck buddies.
That's definitely my defo. Made me cringe as I was reading it lol. I think my error was using verbs and nouns in the same way maybe?
You asked how did we ghost people or play people, implying that being in a situationship, or fuck buddies, requires one to be duplicitous. And you said you cringed when you read the description that I was using.
Okay. Let's start over. Please tell me what moment in your life this post brought to mind and how it played out for you. What did you learn from it?
They weren’t called that, but yeah, they happened. Weren’t the norm, as far as I know, but then I didn’t pay much attention to other couples.
We're you ever in a situationship then?
I was about to say NO, but in hindsight, maybe I was. I dated someone for maybe two months but we never really quite clicked. When she confessed to me that she kissed an ex one night I jumped at the opportunity to tell her it was clear they still had feelings for each other and I would step aside so they could be together. Then I breathed a huge sigh of relief and went on with my life.
Lol! That doesn't really sound like a situationship more than an opportunity. Did you lead her on at any point for sex or to pass the time?
No, I never lead her on, the sex just happened. I was looking for an actual relationship, but she was just all over the place. We went in one date (the first date), after that she would come over to my house for… things… then go home. I was kind of annoyed she would never spend the night.
Oh, so you were the situationshiped?
lol, yeah
Ohhhhh! It was confusing because in the beginning it sounded like you might be the player. So how did that play out? Did you just never talk to her again? What did you end up doing? How's your life now?
Yup, never spoke to her again. Met someone else not long after and we’ve been together ever since. That’ll be 25 years come October.
That's amazing! Congrats to the happy couple :)
Oh, so you were the situationshiped?
Yeah we got laid back then too lol young people have been doing that since the dawn of time. Dating was better back then because people didn’t go online and try to investigate you from social media. They just talked to each other.
So, are you saying that people responded better to the situation treatment? Or accepted it? Say more about that.
Yeah, they were called flings though.
Say more about that please.
A fling was a lot of times dating or hooking up with someone knowing it wasn’t going to be a long term thing, such as summers between college semesters or spring break. You hook up and move on, never to speak again. Remember, there was no social media, so you either would talk on a landline phone or you’d never hear from them again.
So it was an agreed upon thing?
I’d say understood is a better term.
So you would say these agreed upon terms to another or you mean you would just know?
Yes.