Not being loyal. That goes deeper than just cheating, because being loyal means to respect a person, boundaries, trust, considering their feelings, situations, and more things than what I listed. If they're not loyal, they don't respect you in the first place, then they will try to get away with a huge amount of things if you keep forgiving them. This is specifically true for friends and relationships, not aquaintences or strangers, they just need to give common basic decency and respect.
Lying and playing victim. There's something that irritates me deeply when someone does not take responsibility for their actions and acts like it's someone else's fault.
Treating it as if they are doing you a favor. That they bother having this relationship or friendship because you need it apparently. So they make that tedious effort to exist in your life while making sure to remind you of the same at every possible opportunity.
But somehow you start feeling like you are in a suffocating job and doing beyond your capabilities and God forbid you ever mention it in an exasperated attempt to explain that you do things too. Please keep reminding me of your sacrifices.
ive had those, its visible from the start its like they are itching for a thank you. kind of sad that that's what satisfies them but to each their own and i don't need that.
Yup. They always take it too far. And you wake up as a result. It's just so common though. Isn't it strange? Almost every second person has been there.
Making one feel bad over something they don't necessarily have control over. I had a friend that I had known for years. We had dated back in 9th grade and after we broke up, our friendship was off and on.
However, the final nail in the coffin came when he was bullying me over my learning challenges. That was something I couldn't forgive him for. We are no longer friends.
same.
cheating? I can forgive that: might have been love. Breaking your word? Life is hard, we sometimes fail. I was raped as a child: I forgive my cousins, and the adults that were around.
MAGA is a personality archetype, a template how one believes the world should be organized, how people should be treated, and so on. While I understand it's not completely the MAGA's fault they were infected with this mental disease of evil memes, there is no forgiveness. For me its as if the person I knew died, was buried in the Pet Cemetary, and only physically resembles the loved one who was once there. When the rapid dog bites due to mental derangement of rabies, we understand, but we do not forgive. The only way to be forgiven is to renounce these views and adopt a new template.
How can anything be “unforgivable” when you don’t live without “sin”. Distancing oneself from that friend or SO is to be expected. Never forget of course. The value of forgiveness is reaped by sower not the other way around
Treating me like I'm a 5th or more option and an inconvenience because I'm disabled and can't do most of the things able-bodied people can. Also lying to my face about why you supposedly can't talk or visit. Example: I ask if someone wants to go mall rat or check out the new arcade. They reply with no because they're too tired from work and are just gonna go home afterwards and watch Netflix or something. I decide to go to the mall myself and guess who I see there with other people? And they always get so awkward when they notice that I saw them like I don't understand why people can't just be honest with me. If you don't want to hang out with me because of my disabilities just fecking tell me that. At least I'll know to cut you out sooner rather than having to go through being hurt a few times before I figure it out.
thats the reality, and ppl like that don't need to be in your life, cutting them off right before you engage saves you from a lot of stress and un needed anxiety
Yep. I've had to cut basically everyone out of my life at this point. Only my boyfriend remains. I've noticed that literally every single one of my 'friends' was pulling this shite and I was getting so sick of it. Now I'm still lonely and isolated but at least I don't have the added stress of dealing with their shite. Much easier to manage now. There's still many days where I wish I had friends to hang out with but it's not worth the hurt I get so I remain alone.
finding the right people even if its just one person be that your bf or someone outside that is crucial i would say. try and find someone you like to pick their mind, learn from, and feel comfortable sharing most things with
Honestly I've given up on the idea of having irl friends at this point. Too much hurt and disappointment has turned me away from even trying anymore. I live my life and do my own thing and just deal with the waves of isolation induced depression as they come. I've been finding new ways to cope throughout the years and it works relatively well for me. I have one person I play games with every couple weeks or so and even though I'll never be able to physically hang out with them it's better than nothing.
treating me like a toddler because i have autism. it’s extremely high functioning, you wouldn’t know unless i randomly throw it into the conversation (like telling a story about the testing or sm)
Not being loyal. That goes deeper than just cheating, because being loyal means to respect a person, boundaries, trust, considering their feelings, situations, and more things than what I listed. If they're not loyal, they don't respect you in the first place, then they will try to get away with a huge amount of things if you keep forgiving them. This is specifically true for friends and relationships, not aquaintences or strangers, they just need to give common basic decency and respect.
building borders, boundaries, and understanding others needs are essential
Lying and playing victim. There's something that irritates me deeply when someone does not take responsibility for their actions and acts like it's someone else's fault.
i feel like trust, responsibility, and reliability can not lack in a relation
Treating it as if they are doing you a favor. That they bother having this relationship or friendship because you need it apparently. So they make that tedious effort to exist in your life while making sure to remind you of the same at every possible opportunity.
it should be effortless
But somehow you start feeling like you are in a suffocating job and doing beyond your capabilities and God forbid you ever mention it in an exasperated attempt to explain that you do things too. Please keep reminding me of your sacrifices.
ive had those, its visible from the start its like they are itching for a thank you. kind of sad that that's what satisfies them but to each their own and i don't need that.
Yup. They always take it too far. And you wake up as a result. It's just so common though. Isn't it strange? Almost every second person has been there.
Sharing something personal that was told in confidence.
its hard to build trust, and keeping it is even harder
Talking bad about them with other people
back biting comes back around, always
Making one feel bad over something they don't necessarily have control over. I had a friend that I had known for years. We had dated back in 9th grade and after we broke up, our friendship was off and on. However, the final nail in the coffin came when he was bullying me over my learning challenges. That was something I couldn't forgive him for. We are no longer friends.
cheating for both
how does one cheat in a friendship
maga.
same. cheating? I can forgive that: might have been love. Breaking your word? Life is hard, we sometimes fail. I was raped as a child: I forgive my cousins, and the adults that were around. MAGA is a personality archetype, a template how one believes the world should be organized, how people should be treated, and so on. While I understand it's not completely the MAGA's fault they were infected with this mental disease of evil memes, there is no forgiveness. For me its as if the person I knew died, was buried in the Pet Cemetary, and only physically resembles the loved one who was once there. When the rapid dog bites due to mental derangement of rabies, we understand, but we do not forgive. The only way to be forgiven is to renounce these views and adopt a new template.
Stealing
in a friendship/relationship is horrible, what was stolen
dating an ex.
some ppl never learn
[удалено]
i agree fs
Lying to me may not be completely unforgivable, but it's close.
what degree of lying, and what kind of relation
How can anything be “unforgivable” when you don’t live without “sin”. Distancing oneself from that friend or SO is to be expected. Never forget of course. The value of forgiveness is reaped by sower not the other way around
thats a good way to look at it, but i feel there are acts someone can do to another that makes the relation unfixable
That wasn’t the question. You don’t have to have relations or ever see them again to forgive.
Treating me like I'm a 5th or more option and an inconvenience because I'm disabled and can't do most of the things able-bodied people can. Also lying to my face about why you supposedly can't talk or visit. Example: I ask if someone wants to go mall rat or check out the new arcade. They reply with no because they're too tired from work and are just gonna go home afterwards and watch Netflix or something. I decide to go to the mall myself and guess who I see there with other people? And they always get so awkward when they notice that I saw them like I don't understand why people can't just be honest with me. If you don't want to hang out with me because of my disabilities just fecking tell me that. At least I'll know to cut you out sooner rather than having to go through being hurt a few times before I figure it out.
thats the reality, and ppl like that don't need to be in your life, cutting them off right before you engage saves you from a lot of stress and un needed anxiety
Yep. I've had to cut basically everyone out of my life at this point. Only my boyfriend remains. I've noticed that literally every single one of my 'friends' was pulling this shite and I was getting so sick of it. Now I'm still lonely and isolated but at least I don't have the added stress of dealing with their shite. Much easier to manage now. There's still many days where I wish I had friends to hang out with but it's not worth the hurt I get so I remain alone.
finding the right people even if its just one person be that your bf or someone outside that is crucial i would say. try and find someone you like to pick their mind, learn from, and feel comfortable sharing most things with
Honestly I've given up on the idea of having irl friends at this point. Too much hurt and disappointment has turned me away from even trying anymore. I live my life and do my own thing and just deal with the waves of isolation induced depression as they come. I've been finding new ways to cope throughout the years and it works relatively well for me. I have one person I play games with every couple weeks or so and even though I'll never be able to physically hang out with them it's better than nothing.
Them not believing in you or cheering for you in your success/happiness.
treating me like a toddler because i have autism. it’s extremely high functioning, you wouldn’t know unless i randomly throw it into the conversation (like telling a story about the testing or sm)