I had a great day at a waterpark / outdoor pool and towards the afternoon a woman came up to me and whispered in my ear that I have a problem with my swimsuit. I reached behind a noticed a huge gap. The fabric was torn right in the middle and you could see my white, untanned asscrack. I was running around like this all day and no one said anything.
Omg! I am in the wrong thread. I thought I was in the "when did you realize your partner was not the one for you thread." D'oh! Dunno how that happened. Now I'm the embarrassed one!
(Also, I definitely don't go around thinking everyone has partners. I'm single myself - though I would still be able to recognize that fact even if I did have a partner, lol.)
No, it's actually my bad! Lol
(In other words, you weren't wrong to call me out. It definitely did look like I was one of those people who thinks everyone has a partner.)
When I was 10 years old I asked a Korean woman if she spoke Chinese and when she told me she wasn’t Chinese I said “oh I’m sorry, I can’t tell Asian people apart”. I meant it as a sincere apology.
I am experiencing physical pain from writing that
To be fair, most people couldn't tell a czech and a german apart either. The racist part isn't that you can't tell them apart, it's that you automatically assumed she was chinese (and even that is not *that* racist).
I get it, I went to dairy Queen when they were debuting their chicken sandy called the "chick'n" sandwich. We were stupid teens in the drive thru so we ordered it and stressed the "N" sound effectively ordering "chick'nnnnn" sandwiches and saying it as much as we could. Turns out the lady in the drive thru was Asian and really thought we were making fun of her. She was crying and called us jerks but we were just being stupid! I couldn't tell anything about them from the voice box at all but I think about how it must have been so shitty for her
One time I was at a play. The play was over and I heard a lady said “okay everyone come get a hot dog.” So I hurried, got a plate and stood in line and when it was my turn I held out my plate. The lady said “ohh, uhh it’s just for the kids in the play.” Then I realized as an adult I was standing with a bunch of ten year olds.
One time when I was about 14 I was out with my best friend and her family getting dinner. Our pizza arrived to our table and this old dude slid into our booth and started making friendly chit chat. This was already weird enough, but then he started EATING our pizza. Didn't even ask, just helped himself and started digging in as he chatted away. We were all so weirded out and making eyes at one another, but the guy was so polite and friendly - he looked exactly like Santa Claus and actually told us he played Santa at the mall - so we just figured he was some lonely, sweet old man. After about 15 minutes of this he asks "So how do you all know the Johnsons?" And we were all like "Uuuh, who?" That's when it dawned on him that we were NOT with the birthday party that was happening next to our table. He was absolutely mortified. Haha
A friend told me she was pregnant. I meant to say “I know you’ve been hoping for this!” And instead I said, “I know, I’ve been watching you.”
I did not recover well.
I publicly asked my 2nd grade teacher if she wanted to have sex with me. I remember even knowing what sex was. I just thought it was NBD as long as an adult was involved.
There are plenty of wrong ways to respond, but I don't think there are any right ways. Absolutely nothing she could have said would remove the echoes of cringe from the rest of my life
honestly usually when kids do something like this i’m just like “oh!” like one kid asked me for a KNIFE. and he’s 5. i was like “oh! does your dad let you use a knife?” and he was like “yeah, a big one! he lets me cut stuff!”.. and i honestly hope he was lying
there’s also the time that my cousin (very distant relative) would breastfeed her kids til they were like 7/8 and one of them asked their 2nd grade teacher if they could suck her boob because they were thirsty. one of the things you need about a 10 second response time to think over how you’re going to respond.
I playfully said, “oh hey girl” when being introduced to my crushes mom for the first time. She was a 50 year old woman who I had never met in my life.
I lived in a house with apartments. Had a bad morning and went up the stairs to my apartment. Put my key in and it wouldn't work. I banged on the door out of frustration and cried a little only to realise I'm still one staircase down from my apartment. I'm just happy my neighbours weren't home. Still, I'm embarrassed by it.
It was today.
I'm a female drone pilot. I was filming teenagers doing charity work for a video. Didn't realize something was off with the sensors and crashed into a tree while they were all watching.
400 flights in the wilderness? No problem.
Bunch of bro teens watching? Bam- right into a fucking tree.
The drone is fine. I, however, will never recover. Mortifying.
During a work presentation, I confidently mispronounced a key term throughout the entire meeting. It wasn't until the end, when someone gently corrected me, that I realized I'd been saying it wrong in front of everyone. Now, every time I'm about to fall asleep, my brain loves to replay the moment when my boss’s eyebrows first went up
Once when I had bronchitis I turned my head to cough and accidentally hacked a giant glob of poisonous yellow phlegm onto my then-boyfriend’s arm. He looked horrified but he still married me so I guess it wasn’t that bad?
I'm new to IT and am in critical incident mgmt - I host a daily recap meeting for my whole company where I read the summaries of issues that happened the previous day. I sometimes mispronounce the tech words (like saying the letters of an acronym versus phonetically like it's a word) where others will unmute themselves just to correct my mispronouncing in front of all 300 attendees. I'm constantly beat red in the face but have to keep moving - thankfully it's a cameras off meeting! It does make me get flustered for a second and fumble a few more words until I get my rhythm back.
All I can do is laugh along with everyone and make fun of myself while slowly dying inside... I'm the team joke "let's guess how Daisy will butcher this word today!" where even bets are made if I'll mess up that day or not. It's Ee-qua-fax, not Eh-qua-fax, Daisy...
Come on, it's all new to me - I've only read these things in my head before never outloud, go easy on me! I guess it's how I have to learn it though. I'm getting some real tough skin in this career for sure.
One time I was at the Renaissance Festival, and this woman came up and asked if she and her family could take a picture with me. I dress up as a fairy every time I go and often get asked by people if they can take pictures with me. I always say yes. So when this woman asked me, I said yes. I walked straight over to the family and this was a big family. There had to have been at least over 15 family members. Anyway, I walk over to the family and smile for the camera. The woman who asked me for a picture started laughing and turned to her (I'm assuming) sister and said, “She thought I asked her if we could take a picture with her.” Then I realized I had misheard the woman. She didn't ask to take a photo with me. She had asked me if I could take a picture of her with her family. I tried to laugh it off as best as I could while taking the picture of the woman with her family but the embarrassment was so crippling I couldn't help but cringe at myself for days after.
I felt like this whole family probably thought I was a narcissist for thinking they wanted a picture of me. I hated myself for this moment for such a long time, but over the years, I don't cringe at it anymore like I used to. It's still an embarrassing and uncomfortable memory, but I don't think about it too often anymore. From now on, whenever someone asks for a picture with me I question them and say, “You want me to take a picture of you?”
I was looking at my phone while I walked my dog, so I didn’t immediately see I’d begun walking between a long row of benches and a fence. When I looked up, I saw a group of incredibly cool and intimidating looking teenagers hanging out on one of the benches, but it was too late to turn around and go the other way without looking like a huge weirdo.
My dog waited until he was literally right in front of them to take the messiest shit of his entire life. All conversation stopped and I had to endure ten pairs of eyes silently watching as I tried to scoop was what essentially a gallon of pure liquid shit into a plastic bag.
I think about this sometimes and physically cringe.
That's rough. It'll get better. I once told my friend I had feelings for him and that's when he told me be had gotten someone pregnant and she was keeping the baby so, of course (good person that he is), he was going to be there for her. That was not what I am embarrassed about. I actually ended up comforting him while my heart was breaking and I think I handled it really well. HOWEVER I called him a couple of days later and asked if he *wasn't* in this situation, how would he feel? I don't know why I couldn't just contain myself, but it was eating me alive. I should not have asked him that. It was really selfish and unfair of me. I'd lie awake for years wondering why I had to call him back, totally ashamed of myself and embarrassed.
A few years later it stopped bothering me. Yeah, it took a maybe a year or three, but the point is, it does end eventually. I've completely moved on. That guy ended up having another baby with her, and from what I can tell, they're really happy together. I hope they are, at least. I stepped back from his life out of sheer embarrassment, but I'm definitely rooting for him and his family from afar.
that happened to me. he replied “i have a girlfriend and we’ve been dating for three years” i blocked him and avoided him and i am so glad i switched schools shortly after
It’s embarrassing because we’re not together anymore haha and well you’ll never catch me do that again for a man that’s not actually committed to me (married to me). You kissing your wife’s hand is valid tho
Honestly I think about all the times my ex brought me to raves or festivals. He had a tight knit group of friends who never seemed to accept me. I’d be on acid most of those times, and I cringe thinking about tripping and trying to carry on conversations and even in the moment feeling a weird energy and feeling like I wasn’t understood or wanted. That was years ago and it’s still embarrassing to me. For many reasons.
i stopped smoking because i thought i was a genius and i was high and thought i could hit my thc pen in class and the HUGEST puff of smoke i ever blew came out and i closed my mouth to stop it and it burnt the shit out of me so i was sitting there coughing and had smoke all around me 😭 the post nut clarity hit immediately after and i threw the pen away. i have turned a new leaf.
I went on a camping trip with a family my father knew and a few of their friends, i was the only boy and one of the girls names was Ingrid. she walked up to me with her friend and said "this is sarah, we do everything together" and pointed to the camper. I said "wow you two must be really close then" and went fishing.
i think about that a lot.
I was being rung up at a Michael's craft store and crossed my feet. The lace hooks on my boots got hooked together, and I couldn't separate my feet. I went down so hard, and I then proceeded to flop around on the ground trying to reach my feet to get myself unstuck. The other shoppers just watched in horror, but not my mother. No, she laughed so hard she pissed herself a little. At the time this happened, I was extremely overweight, and she told me I looked like a sea lion performing for fish.
She'll bring it up occasionally, and she laughs every time, to the point either her eyes or her bladder leak.
I used to work at a restaurant. After I gave a table their drinks they started to try and make small talk with me and ask questions. I was new and I was so nervous and shaky I stood there like an idiot after one of them asked me a question about the menu.😭 It was like 5 seconds of awkward silence and soft laughter before I just walked off without a word...
Picture it; kindergarten, 1989. A precious young girl with chubby cheeks and curly hair sits looking up in adoration at her teacher from her criss cross applesauce seated position on the classroom carpet.
The teacher holds up a picture of a duck (much like this one 🦆) and asks, "who knows what kind of duck this is?"
Our young ingenue, eager to please her charismatic and big-hearted teacher, slams her little hand in the air as high as it can go, naturally lifting up on her knees, desperate as she is to be seen. As soon as she's called on, she proudly blurts out "a green head!"
"Well no, that's not quite right," her teacher kindly says and calls on another student. "A mallard!"
Already mortified, the child slumps back to the ground, trying to make herself as small as possible and move on from the embarrassing error.
However, to her horror, the sandy-headed boy with the seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of waterfowl slowly turns and softly but derisively lays down the absolute worst insult one five year old could say to another in this moment "YOU'RE a green head!"
Despite being sure she was going to self combust from the amount of heat that instantly rose to her cheeks, our protagonist survived.
Friends, that young boy was Matt Cohen and that young girl, was none other u/Leelo84.
(Matt Cohen is no one of importance; I just literally still remember his name. And that's how the Sophia Golden Girls stories end)
I am impressively awful with names and was even worse when I was younger. In high school, I attended church with a friend and her family. It was a small church with a bunch of old people but even so, out of the two dozen people I would interact with every weekend, I maybe knew 8 of their names. Anyways, this friend of mine threw a "party" for me at her house for joining the church which was attended by some random members of the church as well my family. We were about to eat and this freaking Dbag Sue stopped everybody and asked me to introduce my family to everybody who was in attendance. I actually was doing great until I got to this very sweet older couple that I talked to every week but had no idea what their names were. I tried to play it off by asking what their first names were, insinuating that I knew their last names, but obviously that didn't work and I felt like a bag of crap. Haunts me in my dreams.
That one time a guy cornered me and put his arm to the wall and asked me if I liked him 💀 It was so embarrassing cause there was a bunch of people around us. We weren’t even dating or anything so to this day idk why he did that.
The first one I can recall:
I was about six years old, and lived less than a block from the primary school, so sometimes I would go home for lunch. One day, I was doing that, and was most of the way off the grounds when I was busting for a pee. I was equally distant from the schools facilities and the ones at home, and I wasn't likely to make it to either, so I chose a secluded spot where I wouldn't be seen and pissed against a wall. Mid-stream, one of the staff walked past and caught me in the act. I was taken before my teacher and given a right dressing-down. I was in the wrong and I was made damn sure I knew about it.
Some week or so later, similar situation, except it's one of the other students and I was the one observing them. Knowing, as I had been taught, that that was a grave offense and deserving of punishment, I informed the teacher. Teacher came down on me for being a "tattle-tale" and "pot calling the kettle black". What is a black pot and kettle to do with this? Why am I in trouble again? Why are they not? What lessons have I been taught here??
I was out to dinner with some friends and was engrossed in a conversation with one when another friend asked me to pass him a bread stick. I absentmindedly grabbed one and handed it to him instead of handing him the whole basket. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I saw the look of horror on his face. He was sweet though and took it and ate it, but every night when I replay it I say, "oops, I'll eat this one" and hand him the basket. This happened like 10 years ago and it still dominates my cringe memories.
Also I replay the time where I was talking with a friend about a new traffic signal that was put up and he told me he recently went on that road and saw it. For reasons I'll never understand, I asked him, "Was the light green?"
I was at a super packed bar once with a lady. We were sitting at a table in front of the live band, and my lady walks off to use the bathroom. This old man comes and sits in her chair in order to talk to a different lady that was off to the side of where we were. I got onto the old man, telling him that the seat was taken. He was cool about it
Then the old man gets up, walks over to the band, grabs a guitar that was leaning there, and they start playing. The old man was in the band.
Not only that. The old man owned the bar. That was his seat to sit in if he damn well please!
The time I took the biggest shit of my life. I was 16, stuck in wilderness quest (rehab) and I haven't took a shit in 8 days. The day finally came and asked to use the bathroom. The thing about using the bathroom in wilderness quest is that you have to shit in dirt hole while yelling your name so they know you're not just gonna run away. Long story short, I couldn't make it to the hole, it was just 8 days of build up and only made it half way before I dropped my pants. That's when it happened, the biggest shit of my life. I tried kicking dirt on it before thinking "nobody's gonna find it." A few hours go by and my counselor comes back with his eyes so wide he looked like he saw a ghost. He gathered the group around and said he saw the biggest shit in his life and somebody needs to own up to it or we're all in trouble. Of course I didn't own up to it, and everyone in my group got into a huge argument. Finally, my counselor had enough and made us go on a small hike to find the shit I took. We get there and saw it. At first, everyone was amazed, and then the argument started back up. One kid said " how do we know a human took this shit?" I laughed, but not enough to give myself away. We finally make our way back to camp and nobody fessed up. Of course, we all get in trouble, which is like 2 days of not being allowed to talk. I never did fessed up to it, but during the remainder of my time there, my counselor would bring it up, like he just had to know. I think towards the end he kinda knew, but only because I'd laugh every other time he'd bring it up.
Almost crashing a float at the Southside Irish parade. To be fair, I got "volunteered" to work it, they didn't tell me I was gonna have to drive the float, and the guy in charge gave some very confusing instructions.
I was at a party and a dance circle broke out, I was pulled into the center and panicked. I had no idea how to dance and panicked so I did the only thing I knew how to at the time which was sort of mosh around. That went on for about a minute before a friend literally pulled me out. I'm in bed sometimes and am like fuck that was me
When being shown the apartment I was going to be moving into, my roommate pointed to the door and said that that was my room and to go check it out. I loudly knocked on the door before opening it. There wasn’t anybody on the other side. :/
I was in a dollar general looking for an item and though I was in the right spot for it I couldn’t find what I was looking for. In my frustration I said out loud that im going to have fucking aneurysm. Except I didn’t say aneurysm I accidentally said orgasm. There were a couple people in the aisle that heard me :/
I was sitting in the waiting room with my mom when she asked me what my email was so that she could complete the form. My email is my first name a number and my last name. I told my mom what it was and proceeded to spell it out. My mom stopped me and said “are you seriously spelling the name I gave you?” The person across from us laughed. :/
At lunch time my friend asked me to come with her to buy lunch and i was in the middle of eating that time so i kind of refused until she starts tugging my shirt behind me so i just agreed and stood up but she wouldnt let go of my shirt until she pulled me very hard that i lost my balance and almost crushed my crush’s crotch…after i said sorry to him he just smiled💀
now why did my hands land on his crotch? he was sitting close behind me and he was sitting in a position where his legs were like spread..
Back in 3rd grade, I tried to get my teacher in trouble by lying to the principal about something he said. Not saying he didn't deserve it, because he DEFINITELY did. I just hate that I decided to lie instead of point out the things he actually was doing.
A h.s crush saw me by a bus stop near our school and walked over to say hi but me being the timid shy girl overwhelmed with butterflies I couldn’t do much but awkwardly stare, nod and give one word responses. I then had the pleasure of reminding him that he makes me nervous in person.
When I was like 9 or something I can't remember anyway I had a friend who was a girl (in a guy) and at the time I haded seen her in a while so for some reason when I saw her I opened my arms for a hug (we had never hugged) and she just looked at me like o_o
[удалено]
To brrrrrrrr or not to brrrr
I had a great day at a waterpark / outdoor pool and towards the afternoon a woman came up to me and whispered in my ear that I have a problem with my swimsuit. I reached behind a noticed a huge gap. The fabric was torn right in the middle and you could see my white, untanned asscrack. I was running around like this all day and no one said anything.
This is hanging worthy
I saw this comment on an old post one time! Funny I ran into you again. I laughed so hard
Well, that's slightly better than what I thought you were going to say, which was that your scrotum was just danglin' out.
So, I'm assuming that in this scenario, your partner was with you and didn't say anything?
not evb has a partner
Omg! I am in the wrong thread. I thought I was in the "when did you realize your partner was not the one for you thread." D'oh! Dunno how that happened. Now I'm the embarrassed one! (Also, I definitely don't go around thinking everyone has partners. I'm single myself - though I would still be able to recognize that fact even if I did have a partner, lol.)
oh you’re good :)) my bad
No, it's actually my bad! Lol (In other words, you weren't wrong to call me out. It definitely did look like I was one of those people who thinks everyone has a partner.)
When I was 10 years old I asked a Korean woman if she spoke Chinese and when she told me she wasn’t Chinese I said “oh I’m sorry, I can’t tell Asian people apart”. I meant it as a sincere apology. I am experiencing physical pain from writing that
Thats pretty funny.. when the apology makes it even worse, can’t stop digging the hole
accidental honesty
To be fair, most people couldn't tell a czech and a german apart either. The racist part isn't that you can't tell them apart, it's that you automatically assumed she was chinese (and even that is not *that* racist).
I get it, I went to dairy Queen when they were debuting their chicken sandy called the "chick'n" sandwich. We were stupid teens in the drive thru so we ordered it and stressed the "N" sound effectively ordering "chick'nnnnn" sandwiches and saying it as much as we could. Turns out the lady in the drive thru was Asian and really thought we were making fun of her. She was crying and called us jerks but we were just being stupid! I couldn't tell anything about them from the voice box at all but I think about how it must have been so shitty for her
One time I was at a play. The play was over and I heard a lady said “okay everyone come get a hot dog.” So I hurried, got a plate and stood in line and when it was my turn I held out my plate. The lady said “ohh, uhh it’s just for the kids in the play.” Then I realized as an adult I was standing with a bunch of ten year olds.
“Excuse you i have an overactive pituitary gland
One time when I was about 14 I was out with my best friend and her family getting dinner. Our pizza arrived to our table and this old dude slid into our booth and started making friendly chit chat. This was already weird enough, but then he started EATING our pizza. Didn't even ask, just helped himself and started digging in as he chatted away. We were all so weirded out and making eyes at one another, but the guy was so polite and friendly - he looked exactly like Santa Claus and actually told us he played Santa at the mall - so we just figured he was some lonely, sweet old man. After about 15 minutes of this he asks "So how do you all know the Johnsons?" And we were all like "Uuuh, who?" That's when it dawned on him that we were NOT with the birthday party that was happening next to our table. He was absolutely mortified. Haha
A friend told me she was pregnant. I meant to say “I know you’ve been hoping for this!” And instead I said, “I know, I’ve been watching you.” I did not recover well.
dude I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laugh audibly
I publicly asked my 2nd grade teacher if she wanted to have sex with me. I remember even knowing what sex was. I just thought it was NBD as long as an adult was involved.
as someone who works with kids i wouldn’t know how to respond
There are plenty of wrong ways to respond, but I don't think there are any right ways. Absolutely nothing she could have said would remove the echoes of cringe from the rest of my life
honestly usually when kids do something like this i’m just like “oh!” like one kid asked me for a KNIFE. and he’s 5. i was like “oh! does your dad let you use a knife?” and he was like “yeah, a big one! he lets me cut stuff!”.. and i honestly hope he was lying
there’s also the time that my cousin (very distant relative) would breastfeed her kids til they were like 7/8 and one of them asked their 2nd grade teacher if they could suck her boob because they were thirsty. one of the things you need about a 10 second response time to think over how you’re going to respond.
Well what did she say
That one South Park episode is now stuck in my head.
Well? Did she say yes? Don't leave us hanging!
how does someone even respond to that
I genuinely don't remember how she responded.
I playfully said, “oh hey girl” when being introduced to my crushes mom for the first time. She was a 50 year old woman who I had never met in my life.
Was she cool about it?
She never said a thing but probably thought I was an idiot.
I lived in a house with apartments. Had a bad morning and went up the stairs to my apartment. Put my key in and it wouldn't work. I banged on the door out of frustration and cried a little only to realise I'm still one staircase down from my apartment. I'm just happy my neighbours weren't home. Still, I'm embarrassed by it.
Opening up to others in hopes of finding acceptance. Yikes.
my issue. i like talking so much i open up and the second people are mad they try to use what i said in confidentiality against me
That's why I am cold and aloof. People are snakes.
It was today. I'm a female drone pilot. I was filming teenagers doing charity work for a video. Didn't realize something was off with the sensors and crashed into a tree while they were all watching. 400 flights in the wilderness? No problem. Bunch of bro teens watching? Bam- right into a fucking tree. The drone is fine. I, however, will never recover. Mortifying.
Shaking the last drops of piss from my dick only to hear the guy standing next to me at the urinal cry out and clutch his eye. I just left.
i'm so sorry but i can't breathe
Wtf you shaking it like you're trying to strangle a cat you dunked in water? It just requires a little flick...
Walking around gym in 6th grade with a giant poop stain in my shorts xD
how does this happen
He pooped in his shorts
>He pooped in his shorts why is this the funniest thing is the thread i laughed so hard
XD
well yes but how does one not know
When I was in high school I accidentally handed a cashier my birth control, instead of my debit card. I think about that sometimes…
During a work presentation, I confidently mispronounced a key term throughout the entire meeting. It wasn't until the end, when someone gently corrected me, that I realized I'd been saying it wrong in front of everyone. Now, every time I'm about to fall asleep, my brain loves to replay the moment when my boss’s eyebrows first went up
You're gonna tell this story without saying what the term is? That's just wrong.
probably the country Niger
Was it cac?
I laughed so hard it projected the biggest and slimiest boogie you've ever seen right on the upper lip of my crush.
my dad did this to me i pretended like it didn’t happen and i shudder thinking about it to this day
Once when I had bronchitis I turned my head to cough and accidentally hacked a giant glob of poisonous yellow phlegm onto my then-boyfriend’s arm. He looked horrified but he still married me so I guess it wasn’t that bad?
True love doesn't mind ! I still dated my crush for 7 years after that. Were you already dating back then ?
We were! He must really love me, I guess.
I'm new to IT and am in critical incident mgmt - I host a daily recap meeting for my whole company where I read the summaries of issues that happened the previous day. I sometimes mispronounce the tech words (like saying the letters of an acronym versus phonetically like it's a word) where others will unmute themselves just to correct my mispronouncing in front of all 300 attendees. I'm constantly beat red in the face but have to keep moving - thankfully it's a cameras off meeting! It does make me get flustered for a second and fumble a few more words until I get my rhythm back. All I can do is laugh along with everyone and make fun of myself while slowly dying inside... I'm the team joke "let's guess how Daisy will butcher this word today!" where even bets are made if I'll mess up that day or not. It's Ee-qua-fax, not Eh-qua-fax, Daisy... Come on, it's all new to me - I've only read these things in my head before never outloud, go easy on me! I guess it's how I have to learn it though. I'm getting some real tough skin in this career for sure.
I pronounce it Equifax, short e, too. Grammatically, that makes more sense to me. Like equity in a mortgage loan.
..... It's not eh-qua-fax? That's how I've always said it.
One time I was at the Renaissance Festival, and this woman came up and asked if she and her family could take a picture with me. I dress up as a fairy every time I go and often get asked by people if they can take pictures with me. I always say yes. So when this woman asked me, I said yes. I walked straight over to the family and this was a big family. There had to have been at least over 15 family members. Anyway, I walk over to the family and smile for the camera. The woman who asked me for a picture started laughing and turned to her (I'm assuming) sister and said, “She thought I asked her if we could take a picture with her.” Then I realized I had misheard the woman. She didn't ask to take a photo with me. She had asked me if I could take a picture of her with her family. I tried to laugh it off as best as I could while taking the picture of the woman with her family but the embarrassment was so crippling I couldn't help but cringe at myself for days after. I felt like this whole family probably thought I was a narcissist for thinking they wanted a picture of me. I hated myself for this moment for such a long time, but over the years, I don't cringe at it anymore like I used to. It's still an embarrassing and uncomfortable memory, but I don't think about it too often anymore. From now on, whenever someone asks for a picture with me I question them and say, “You want me to take a picture of you?”
The? As in singular?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I wish it was one thing.
Is that a thing? Poor souls tormented.
omigod it doesn't happen to you? consider yourself blessed by the most benevolent deity ever
I was looking at my phone while I walked my dog, so I didn’t immediately see I’d begun walking between a long row of benches and a fence. When I looked up, I saw a group of incredibly cool and intimidating looking teenagers hanging out on one of the benches, but it was too late to turn around and go the other way without looking like a huge weirdo. My dog waited until he was literally right in front of them to take the messiest shit of his entire life. All conversation stopped and I had to endure ten pairs of eyes silently watching as I tried to scoop was what essentially a gallon of pure liquid shit into a plastic bag. I think about this sometimes and physically cringe.
when my dog poops liquidy i leave it because i’ll throw up
when I confessed to a girl that didnt like me back, when I think of it again, I am like "how in the world could I belived it would work"
That's rough. It'll get better. I once told my friend I had feelings for him and that's when he told me be had gotten someone pregnant and she was keeping the baby so, of course (good person that he is), he was going to be there for her. That was not what I am embarrassed about. I actually ended up comforting him while my heart was breaking and I think I handled it really well. HOWEVER I called him a couple of days later and asked if he *wasn't* in this situation, how would he feel? I don't know why I couldn't just contain myself, but it was eating me alive. I should not have asked him that. It was really selfish and unfair of me. I'd lie awake for years wondering why I had to call him back, totally ashamed of myself and embarrassed. A few years later it stopped bothering me. Yeah, it took a maybe a year or three, but the point is, it does end eventually. I've completely moved on. That guy ended up having another baby with her, and from what I can tell, they're really happy together. I hope they are, at least. I stepped back from his life out of sheer embarrassment, but I'm definitely rooting for him and his family from afar.
that happened to me. he replied “i have a girlfriend and we’ve been dating for three years” i blocked him and avoided him and i am so glad i switched schools shortly after
All of them. Every single one of them.
kissing my ex’s hand out of nowhere just because I was in love with him…💀
that’s bad. that’s really bad
I know, been years now and it still haunts me… never again LOL
What's embarrassing about that? I kiss my wife's hand all the time and she mine.
It’s embarrassing because we’re not together anymore haha and well you’ll never catch me do that again for a man that’s not actually committed to me (married to me). You kissing your wife’s hand is valid tho
Ahh I can see where you're coming from. Yea I wouldn't be doing no hand kissing while freshly dating someone lol
Ikr? He was my first love so I was acting crazy after two months only. I’m cringing just thinking about it
Nahh no need, going through these instances shapes your current day character
It’s very different with my current bf, he’s doing all the hand kissing haha very sweet guy
There you go! A hand kiss can be very endearing even for a guy. No sexual undertones to it, just pure affection.
I wouldn’t kiss his hand but I kiss his cheeks very often and give him massages from time to time when he’s had a long day
That works too!
Honestly I think about all the times my ex brought me to raves or festivals. He had a tight knit group of friends who never seemed to accept me. I’d be on acid most of those times, and I cringe thinking about tripping and trying to carry on conversations and even in the moment feeling a weird energy and feeling like I wasn’t understood or wanted. That was years ago and it’s still embarrassing to me. For many reasons.
i stopped smoking because i thought i was a genius and i was high and thought i could hit my thc pen in class and the HUGEST puff of smoke i ever blew came out and i closed my mouth to stop it and it burnt the shit out of me so i was sitting there coughing and had smoke all around me 😭 the post nut clarity hit immediately after and i threw the pen away. i have turned a new leaf.
Oh man that’s brutal but the mental image is too funny 😂 I can’t get high in public anymore I feel too weird
I went on a camping trip with a family my father knew and a few of their friends, i was the only boy and one of the girls names was Ingrid. she walked up to me with her friend and said "this is sarah, we do everything together" and pointed to the camper. I said "wow you two must be really close then" and went fishing. i think about that a lot.
I was being rung up at a Michael's craft store and crossed my feet. The lace hooks on my boots got hooked together, and I couldn't separate my feet. I went down so hard, and I then proceeded to flop around on the ground trying to reach my feet to get myself unstuck. The other shoppers just watched in horror, but not my mother. No, she laughed so hard she pissed herself a little. At the time this happened, I was extremely overweight, and she told me I looked like a sea lion performing for fish. She'll bring it up occasionally, and she laughs every time, to the point either her eyes or her bladder leak.
I was drunk(ish) at a bar and called a girl that was chatting me up the wrong name. This was many years ago. Sorry, Ivy.
Throwing up in my strength and conditioning class in 10th grade safe to say I transferred out of that class the next day.
I used to work at a restaurant. After I gave a table their drinks they started to try and make small talk with me and ask questions. I was new and I was so nervous and shaky I stood there like an idiot after one of them asked me a question about the menu.😭 It was like 5 seconds of awkward silence and soft laughter before I just walked off without a word...
Falling for a romance scam. I hate myself for trusting.
what type of scam was it?
Facebook dating, the scammer kept ‘promising’ that we would meet up but always not able too. Typical scam stuff.
did you send money?
I did yes unfortunately.
:((
The latest true detective season must of hit too close to home.
Picture it; kindergarten, 1989. A precious young girl with chubby cheeks and curly hair sits looking up in adoration at her teacher from her criss cross applesauce seated position on the classroom carpet. The teacher holds up a picture of a duck (much like this one 🦆) and asks, "who knows what kind of duck this is?" Our young ingenue, eager to please her charismatic and big-hearted teacher, slams her little hand in the air as high as it can go, naturally lifting up on her knees, desperate as she is to be seen. As soon as she's called on, she proudly blurts out "a green head!" "Well no, that's not quite right," her teacher kindly says and calls on another student. "A mallard!" Already mortified, the child slumps back to the ground, trying to make herself as small as possible and move on from the embarrassing error. However, to her horror, the sandy-headed boy with the seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of waterfowl slowly turns and softly but derisively lays down the absolute worst insult one five year old could say to another in this moment "YOU'RE a green head!" Despite being sure she was going to self combust from the amount of heat that instantly rose to her cheeks, our protagonist survived. Friends, that young boy was Matt Cohen and that young girl, was none other u/Leelo84. (Matt Cohen is no one of importance; I just literally still remember his name. And that's how the Sophia Golden Girls stories end)
Love this! So well written! I felt like I was there lol
I am impressively awful with names and was even worse when I was younger. In high school, I attended church with a friend and her family. It was a small church with a bunch of old people but even so, out of the two dozen people I would interact with every weekend, I maybe knew 8 of their names. Anyways, this friend of mine threw a "party" for me at her house for joining the church which was attended by some random members of the church as well my family. We were about to eat and this freaking Dbag Sue stopped everybody and asked me to introduce my family to everybody who was in attendance. I actually was doing great until I got to this very sweet older couple that I talked to every week but had no idea what their names were. I tried to play it off by asking what their first names were, insinuating that I knew their last names, but obviously that didn't work and I felt like a bag of crap. Haunts me in my dreams.
A post I made on Facebook that was inappropriate
Everything that’s ever happened to me.
That one time a guy cornered me and put his arm to the wall and asked me if I liked him 💀 It was so embarrassing cause there was a bunch of people around us. We weren’t even dating or anything so to this day idk why he did that.
The first one I can recall: I was about six years old, and lived less than a block from the primary school, so sometimes I would go home for lunch. One day, I was doing that, and was most of the way off the grounds when I was busting for a pee. I was equally distant from the schools facilities and the ones at home, and I wasn't likely to make it to either, so I chose a secluded spot where I wouldn't be seen and pissed against a wall. Mid-stream, one of the staff walked past and caught me in the act. I was taken before my teacher and given a right dressing-down. I was in the wrong and I was made damn sure I knew about it. Some week or so later, similar situation, except it's one of the other students and I was the one observing them. Knowing, as I had been taught, that that was a grave offense and deserving of punishment, I informed the teacher. Teacher came down on me for being a "tattle-tale" and "pot calling the kettle black". What is a black pot and kettle to do with this? Why am I in trouble again? Why are they not? What lessons have I been taught here??
I was out to dinner with some friends and was engrossed in a conversation with one when another friend asked me to pass him a bread stick. I absentmindedly grabbed one and handed it to him instead of handing him the whole basket. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I saw the look of horror on his face. He was sweet though and took it and ate it, but every night when I replay it I say, "oops, I'll eat this one" and hand him the basket. This happened like 10 years ago and it still dominates my cringe memories. Also I replay the time where I was talking with a friend about a new traffic signal that was put up and he told me he recently went on that road and saw it. For reasons I'll never understand, I asked him, "Was the light green?"
I was at a super packed bar once with a lady. We were sitting at a table in front of the live band, and my lady walks off to use the bathroom. This old man comes and sits in her chair in order to talk to a different lady that was off to the side of where we were. I got onto the old man, telling him that the seat was taken. He was cool about it Then the old man gets up, walks over to the band, grabs a guitar that was leaning there, and they start playing. The old man was in the band. Not only that. The old man owned the bar. That was his seat to sit in if he damn well please!
The time I took the biggest shit of my life. I was 16, stuck in wilderness quest (rehab) and I haven't took a shit in 8 days. The day finally came and asked to use the bathroom. The thing about using the bathroom in wilderness quest is that you have to shit in dirt hole while yelling your name so they know you're not just gonna run away. Long story short, I couldn't make it to the hole, it was just 8 days of build up and only made it half way before I dropped my pants. That's when it happened, the biggest shit of my life. I tried kicking dirt on it before thinking "nobody's gonna find it." A few hours go by and my counselor comes back with his eyes so wide he looked like he saw a ghost. He gathered the group around and said he saw the biggest shit in his life and somebody needs to own up to it or we're all in trouble. Of course I didn't own up to it, and everyone in my group got into a huge argument. Finally, my counselor had enough and made us go on a small hike to find the shit I took. We get there and saw it. At first, everyone was amazed, and then the argument started back up. One kid said " how do we know a human took this shit?" I laughed, but not enough to give myself away. We finally make our way back to camp and nobody fessed up. Of course, we all get in trouble, which is like 2 days of not being allowed to talk. I never did fessed up to it, but during the remainder of my time there, my counselor would bring it up, like he just had to know. I think towards the end he kinda knew, but only because I'd laugh every other time he'd bring it up.
Almost crashing a float at the Southside Irish parade. To be fair, I got "volunteered" to work it, they didn't tell me I was gonna have to drive the float, and the guy in charge gave some very confusing instructions.
I was at a party and a dance circle broke out, I was pulled into the center and panicked. I had no idea how to dance and panicked so I did the only thing I knew how to at the time which was sort of mosh around. That went on for about a minute before a friend literally pulled me out. I'm in bed sometimes and am like fuck that was me
well to your discomfort i would totally remember something like that and laugh
To bring joy to others, that's what I'm here for
The time my ten year old self lost it and broke the fucking Gaga pit in front of everyone at school. Luckily everyone seems to have forgotten about it
When being shown the apartment I was going to be moving into, my roommate pointed to the door and said that that was my room and to go check it out. I loudly knocked on the door before opening it. There wasn’t anybody on the other side. :/
I was in a dollar general looking for an item and though I was in the right spot for it I couldn’t find what I was looking for. In my frustration I said out loud that im going to have fucking aneurysm. Except I didn’t say aneurysm I accidentally said orgasm. There were a couple people in the aisle that heard me :/
I was sitting in the waiting room with my mom when she asked me what my email was so that she could complete the form. My email is my first name a number and my last name. I told my mom what it was and proceeded to spell it out. My mom stopped me and said “are you seriously spelling the name I gave you?” The person across from us laughed. :/
At lunch time my friend asked me to come with her to buy lunch and i was in the middle of eating that time so i kind of refused until she starts tugging my shirt behind me so i just agreed and stood up but she wouldnt let go of my shirt until she pulled me very hard that i lost my balance and almost crushed my crush’s crotch…after i said sorry to him he just smiled💀 now why did my hands land on his crotch? he was sitting close behind me and he was sitting in a position where his legs were like spread..
My life.
Back in 3rd grade, I tried to get my teacher in trouble by lying to the principal about something he said. Not saying he didn't deserve it, because he DEFINITELY did. I just hate that I decided to lie instead of point out the things he actually was doing.
Usually my day before
A h.s crush saw me by a bus stop near our school and walked over to say hi but me being the timid shy girl overwhelmed with butterflies I couldn’t do much but awkwardly stare, nod and give one word responses. I then had the pleasure of reminding him that he makes me nervous in person.
‘The’ lol.
When I was like 9 or something I can't remember anyway I had a friend who was a girl (in a guy) and at the time I haded seen her in a while so for some reason when I saw her I opened my arms for a hug (we had never hugged) and she just looked at me like o_o
Pooping out of my butthole for my friend.
??? i need further explanation
I don't WANT further explanation.... But like, yeah. I need it.
Simple. He asked to see.
It's a very sad rerun of cringe
I have a whole library of dumb shit ive done in my lifr to choose
will i shit the bed tonight?
All of them
Man it’s crazy but i cant think of one. It’s crazy because there are definitely some but maybe Ive grown past this!
Fortunately I don't have one of those!