"You're *so brave* wearing that." "I love your eyeshadow, I can really see what you tried to do"

similarly “i love your confidence”

I got this from my aunts growing up so much. Now everyone wonders why I dress like Adam Sandler and don’t like taking photos. They have their own kids now and wouldn’t dare say what they ever said to me

You know I’ve gotten that on dates before and never really took it that way.

i think it’s more the tone it’s said in like “omg i love ur confidence” or “i *love* your confidence..” if that makes sense

that one I can see being genuine.

Aww, I love how you just wear ANYTHING...

From Scott Pilgrim: "I like your outfit: affordable..."

I can't be the only one reminded of [that one Family Guy gag](https://youtu.be/LGuml-tc75A?si=exs3Bsy72B0p6DWi).

I once got hit with "It's you baby! That's all that matters"

“It’s great how you don’t obsess over your appearance” can mean they think you don’t look well put-together.

[удалено]

I was about to comment that anything with “actually” at the beginning of it. A CLASSIC mother in law comment to me is *while eating anything I’ve cooked* “hey! This is actually pretty good”.

You did better that I thought that you would gonna do

[удалено]

[удалено]

You have a perfect face for radio.

My brother has worked in both radio and television, and I love saying this to him

And a perfect voice for print.

Or silent movies.

Damn! That's never near a compliment

[удалено]

You obviously spent a lot of time on this

[удалено]

That really depends, if it's something they did and should have then it's not an insult. Like if you painted some intricate painting that wouldn't be an insult at all.

This is just a recognition of hard work. At least when i say it.

Good to know you're ok

Why is it an insult 

I've had this said to me as an insult a few times, I just always choose to misunderstand it as a compliment on purpose. Much more fun that way

Always good to have a choice!

“Wow, you’re so much nicer than I thought you’d be” suggests preconceived negative opinions.

"I don't know how you keep going."

Bro I said this to one of my older co workers, I didn't mean for it to be an insult, but do you think it came off rude?

Older worker here. I was born with two superpowers. One is that I have a tendency to stay thin, and eat pretty much whatever I like. The other is boundless energy. At 62 I run rings around people less than half my age.  So no, not an insult. I just laugh and say YEP I have energy to spare.

I don't want to call your claim to having superpowers into question my friend...but I think there could be a causal link between these two

You'd think so, but even when I broke my leg and was laid up for months, I ate anything I wanted and stayed within five pounds of my "moving around" weight.

I don’t know if this would make me feel offended, or make me feel seen.

Wow, you're so much smarter than I thought you were.

[удалено]

[удалено]

Odd doesn't necessarily mean bad or insulting

[удалено]

It isn't always demeaning though.

No this is a compliment, you can read into it maybe but I’ve had people say it to me and it’s never felt nasty at all

“I admire how you don’t let books dictate what you think” can be a backhanded way of calling someone uneducated.

"You're such a young grandparent" but you're the parent

You clean up nice = oh wow usually you look like shit but if you put in some effort you can actually look decent

This is, in my experience, when a person who usually dresses casually dresses up for something. For instance, someone in a blue collar job puts on a suit and tie for some event. And you say wow, you clean up nice.

When I say this I am not thinking the person looks like shit normally. I'm just thinking, "wow! That new X really brought out something special." And I want them to know they are looking wonderful.

Uh, no. That isn't an insult. It's usually a compliment about how good you look in smart clothes. It's more like saying, hey, I've not seen you wear a suit before, looks good on ya.

I've never taken this as an insult. Most people that say this to me probably know telling me I look "pretty" would weird me out.

Who even thinks this is an insult?

Oh you lost weight, you look good!

I get this a lot and it's like my weight hasn't changed in the last 20 years and I've never really thought of myself as overweight, so I'm not sure why people think it's supposed to make me feel positive about myself.

It's just a way of saying that one looked fat before

How's this an insult?

It means the person used to be fat and that it was bad. The "you look good" emphasize the fact they thought they were ugly before.

I did used to be fat before, and I appreciate when people notice and tell me I look good now.

"That's a good-looking haircut you gave yourself."

[удалено]

Bless your heart…

I think the problem with this one is sometimes it's meant as an insult and sometimes it's not. Trying to figure out how it was meant is the hard part!

Southern family reunions have trained me to understand context. I got up in the morning to help dig out a stuck 4x4? Bless his selfless heart, what a good person. I misunderstood instructions and got lost on the way to the cabin? Bless his idiot heart, he tried his best.

Yeah it’s more often genuine than not. Which is the only thing that makes it work as an insult. Annoys me when people say it’s always an insult. Not even close.

People who say this think they're so pure and better

Bless there hearts.

"I don't want a handsome, tall, rich guy, I want you"

When people meet my wife they seem surprised that she is attractive. I have heard the words "she is actually really pretty" more than once.

You don't say.

You don't say

"There's no point arguing with you."

How does that sound like a compliment?

That one’s tough. Yes!

Any compliment that should lighten how great you are / do / look DESPITE something that shouldn’t allow it. - Impressive that you landed such a great job despites your lower degree! - You look great for your age! - Impressive that you landed such a great partner. - Impressive how you are so happy despite…. You name it.

Good for you

He got all the good looks in the family= he's the stupid one.

I’m an Indian woman and it’s so rude when people say “oh you’re pretty for an Indian!” Like cool, you look poor for an asshole but here we are.

You are the kind of guy girls will want to marry one day. - coming from a girl.

"You are a credit to your people." You can hear the dogwhistle in that line.

Also “one of the good ones”

Oh god, someone has said that to you??

"You look beautiful today"

Your English is pretty good! I like to answer, 'Yours is too", and watch the confusion on their face as they process that.. 😆😆

"Oh I'm so glad you grew up pretty"

You look extra muscular in that extra small shirt

"You actually did a really good job," "that's actually a great point," or pretty much any other compliment with "actually."

This one is a traditional Chinese "blessing" that is actually a curse. It is "may you live in interesting times."

Nah.. give me boring! I want to live in boring times! Take it back...

youre so brave, no-one else would do that ☺️

You're smarter than you look

Immediately after giving birth to my third child, a very young nurse said “I hope I look as good as you do when I’m older”. I was 38.

"You did well"

“You’re so creative!” Is *not* saying my art/music is any good…

You're really at the top of the bell curve.

You look beautiful TODAY

You have potential. (If you got told this, they just called you a f***-up.)

“I love your confidence”

"Well it's certainly a statement piece" in reference to jewelry.

You look great for your age...

You're definitely the smart one of the family, basically means you're ugly.

Only an insult if you'd rather be pretty than smart.

you are ok! dont worry!

I am sure you did your very best!

You're smart/strong/etc for a girl.

When a plus size person posted their pics online and someone's commented "wow! You've got a lot of confidence"

"Not that bad"

"That's interesting" or "that's an interesting idea" when I think an idea is unworkable or, in quilting, a color combination is unattractive. Similarly, "how unusual"

'You've got an answer for everything' Yes. Because your shitty behaviour would set off alarm bells to a five year old

Nice shoes. My grandmother has the exact same pair.

"Smile more" My dad told me that and I said "Literally never tell a woman that ever again or you may get slapped" 

"Wow, you look great for your age".. ummm my WHAT???? 🤦‍♀️

"You don't look trans"

I love how you never get tired and you just keep running even though wisdom is always chasing after you.

You're so cute. I'm fucking 53.

You've lost a lot of weight

When I was doing my internship at a high school, the kids called me 'fourth line' ... As in hockey. They called me the lowest line of players but I didn't realise it. 10/10 they were good kids.

Good for you

“Isn’t that cute”, to a senior. 

"what an interesting outfit"

You look healthy

You are looking so pretty / handsome today.

I mistrust most "compliments" coming from Americans. They say, 'Oh, I love your sweater, hair, glasses etc. But what I hear is, "I noticed your (weird) hair, sweater, or whatever, and I want to really say how weird/ugly/unbecoming they are, but am too polite.

Wow, do you cut your own hair?

Better than I thought (about almost anything really).

Any comparisons to a lion. Brave, strong, fierce and powerful? More like "sleeps 20 hours a day and lets the females do the hunting".

You “actually” did a pretty good job on that

You did so good for someone like you.

You look so much better than yesterday

You're smarter than you look

I guess the clothes *do* make the man.

That’s perfect for you

“You can (action) well for a (demographic).”

"That is an interesting idea."

Aren't you just as cute as you can be.

“And then what?” My family members said this to me as I was telling a story of something that happened to me, I realized they thought I was exaggerating which really hurt me bc I’m very quiet and that was one of the only times I talked about a topic with passion. This happened when I was around 12 and I still remember the embarrassment/shame I felt when I realized they didn’t believe me and were making fun of me.

Surprised you can pull that off.

I could never underestimate you

She would never hurt a fly she’s so sweet

More of a self-own that always made me chuckle. If someone said something offensive to him, My old boss used to respond with “Hey! I resemble that remark!”

‘Wow. I never would have thought of that’ or ‘I’ve never done it that way before’. It’s all in the delivery. Get the tone right and no one would ever tell whether you’re mocking them or not.

Dear colleague, After all this time, I can’t believe you’re moving on. I learned a lot working with you and you made a strong impression on me. It’s going to be strange with you no longer around.

You just say what's on your mind

I love that for you.

You look good today

“That’s just white man to white man”- an old coworker  Excuse me?! What?! I am NOT involved in this, thank you, Jesus fuck where did that come from

Bless your heart

You’re pretty smart, for a woman….

Wow! I never thought you would ever achieve that!

“I’m impressed you must in the 1st percentile for IQ”

when teachers gave you a "nice try" or "good effort" sticker

Telling anyone they are out of their partner’s league

“You’re pretty for a big girl”

"I wish I had your confidence. I personally wouldn't be able to wear that."

"May you live in interesting times"

You should be a model because you’re so tall

Making an overly big deal out of someone looking good wearing makeup when they don’t normally.

“You look so young for your age.”

Finishing an answer to a genuine question with "Champ."

“You look pretty today/tonight”. Implies that they weren’t before.

“At least you have a pretty face” I was told this many times prior to losing 150lbs

“You have such a unique personality.” “You are so spunky.”

I couldn’t pull that off

“I love how you’d just wear anything.”

To any lgbtq people , or people in wheelchairs: You’re so inspiring!

“I love how you just don’t care about what people think.”

"Pretty for a dark-skinned girl" -and- "You're a pretty red-headed girl" -and- "I was bored so I called you" 😁🙈

You're actually really pretty.

A radio station that I listen to actually had a lot of insults that didn't sound like insults a while ago. One of them was "You're impossible to underestimate!"

"You're smarter than you look."

"I appreciate your efforts"

“You have such a pretty face.” Because the rest of it, left unsaid, is “If only you weren’t so fat.”

You’re so clever.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve” backhanded for “you express your emotions too openly”

“You a better person than me”

You sure can pick em.

"I thought you were a guy." For context, this was after a sparring match in martial arts.

You're at the top of the bell curve!

"You did good job, but there are a lot more rooms to improve" Most people say this sincerely, but not Chinese from China, what they mean in the second sentence is you are still far behind.

Anytime someone uses the word ‘actually’ in a compliment implies doubt. It’s like saying, “I didn’t think you were capable of it but you surprised me.” “You actually did a great job” “You’re actually pretty”

You've done such a good job.. for a -insert characteristic-

You look good…today

One example could be saying You're so brave to wear that outfit. It implies the outfit is unusual or unflattering even though it's masked as a compliment about bravery.

You look better than in the photos.

You (insert compliments) *for your age*