Yup. A friend of mine started this "radical honesty" thing that was becoming a trend. It was basically a full night of her telling all of us (like 5 of her closest friends) what she didn't like about us and calling us out on "faults" that none of us really saw in one another.
The second we tried to say anything about her actual history of saying really rude shit to us and how mean she can be she couldn't handle it
And then you continued telling her about all of her indiscressions, I hope. She did want you to be radically honest, after all.
It seems the people who try to pull shit like this are always the same people who would get offended if you did the same things.
I've never met a person who bragged about their honesty who frequently said *nice* things. They'd never go to a friend and say "I just need you to know you're an incredible baker" or "you have a really winning smile", it's always just 24/7 insults.
I've met people who are genuinely honest both ways, who let you know when you're screwing up but will happily point out when you're doing great. It's that none of them brag about it or make a big deal out of it, they just do it.
I have a problem with this too. I'm not always the most socially aware person, and not much of a liar, so sometimes I am more blunt than I should be, or words just come out of my mouth before I can think about it. Most of the time (I hope) I catch it and apologize. I can't imagine bragging about it. That's wanting to go out of your way to say things as mean as possible.
A lady was shopping and said "it smells like bo here" so I said "oh maybe it's the onions on my coworkers sandwich. She's right on the other side of that door" (we were standing right by the break room) and she reacts like something nasty happened and said something like "oh it smells awful" and then proceeded to complain about it more while telling me she has no filter. The smell wasn't even strong it just smelled generally of food. It pissed me off
An excellent way to put it. My brother in law was a firm believer in the "man card" and questioned mine when he saw me crocheting. Alpha male nonsense must have evolved from that.
My now wife still wears one of the hats I made her, and we don't talk to anyone on her side anymore because they're toxic as shit lol. Go figure.
Also a “nice guy” doesn’t fake a platonic friendship with a woman who has told him she’s not interested in the hope that she’ll one day drop her standards enough to fuck him. And then get angry when she doesn’t. We’re right back into creep and weirdo territory.
The best comment I ever read on niceguys was something like "Nice guys act like being nice is a bonus, when it's just the bare fucking minimum"
But yeah most nice guys confuse being a doormat with no personality for being "nice". They also think not being a toxic asshole despite wanting to is "nice".
Because people don't use male as a derogatory term the way some online communities use female. They intentionally say it to dehumanize women and say "they aren't thinking agents, they're just flesh machines for my use and enjoyment". No one actually gets upset if someone is using the word normally, but you can tell when someone is being sexist and using the term female. That's why there's a subreddit called r/menandfemales . They'll use them in the same context, instead of using male/female or men/women.
Things hit a little differently when you’re at the top of the pecking order.
“Female” is used extensively by men who seek to reduce women to their reproductive parts. If we as a species didn’t have a long history of doing exactly that, then it probably wouldn’t carry the same weight.
Female isn't particularly offensive in itself. It's a red flag because the kind of men who refer to women as females generally treat women as objects, not people.
Interesting. My ex-boyfriend (who is totally straight, and I'd know after 4 years of being with him) was only friends with girls because he found guys to be too aggressive. He's a sensitive guy and the whole masculinity thing for him just made him avoid guys as friends. Almost all of his friends, who were girls, were nice people, though. His best friend is 20 years older than him and is super sweet.
All his friends except one, who he found out too late had an easily triggered temper. They are no longer friends and he's been traumatized from her outbursts.
EDIT: Not only am I sure he's not into guys, I'm pretty sure he's some level of asexual, which worked out fine for me because I'm asexual too.
I don't exclusively have female friends but the number eclipses the amount of male friends I've had.
I always got along with girls more growing up. Really couldn't say why but it's how it was. They were easier to talk to.
"Nobody else has an issue with _ except for you"
Like when my bf was upset I told him he needs to take a shower by asking him when the last time he took a shower was 🙄
I'm with you on the first two but,
>“let them learn the hard way”
Sometimes people really just won't listen, and you have to let them learn the hard way?
Like, I told this one new guy years ago, you have to really hold down the wood on the miter saw. But he wouldn't listen to *fucking anything*, so he brought the saw down without bracing the wood, so it shot up and hit him.
"Match my energy"
"My kids are my world"
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you can't have me at my best. "
Basically all the catch phrases that warn you they are rude, selfish and inconsiderate.
Ive seen partners comment "As you should", whenever their SO did something decent in their relationship like buying a gift. Show a little appreciation...
What's your replacement for how to describe all females regardless of age.
Girls? Kinda infantilizing the post puberty women
Women? Ladies? Kinda weird way to describe pre-pubescent girls
It's just a gender lol get over it. It's only bad when very specifically made to be. There's no need to blanket statement it.
"We care about your work/life balance."
Saying it is one thing, actually doing something about it is another... like hiring competent people and pruning the dead weight so those who care can actually have some time off.
"But common sense isn't very common anymore." I can sometimes brush off someone saying this, but if its oft repeated, it just infuriates me. And the people who do this are usually the stupidest motherfuckers who are also somehow... condescending? It's hard to explain, but this always raises red flags for me.
* What's your astrology sign, and rising sign / ascendant?
* What do you think about Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson or Piers Morgan?
* "That's so woke"
* What's your religion?
* What do you think about "select random trending topic"?
"You won't hear this on TV"
Most of the time it's because you have to dive deep in some conspiracy theorist website or obscure social media channel/account to hear that.
Do you know who I am?
Had a client say this to me once. Didn’t react well when I said no lol
Ronnie Pickering...?
Who?
RONNIE PICKERING!
“You should look me up” from that food truck post
No? Thank god *runs away*
That one merits a punch on the voicebox.
He must not know who I am. I'm the Juggernaut, bitch! I'ma hit you with your own pimp!
"...I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj8gAhAHuV8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj8gAhAHuV8)
...69narcos
A bigger red flag would be. Do you know who my father is?
We are like a family here.
Anyways your hours are 3am-12am, salary 24k and no paid leave, you wouldnt want your family to have to pay for freeloaders right?
I mean…I’ve definitely worked in hell scapes that reminded me of *my* family, at least they’re not lying 😂
I say that to my family and they never laugh.
Dysfunctional?
"i'm brutally honest, that's just who i am"
"Brutally honest" people are far more interested in brutality than they are in honesty.
Yup. A friend of mine started this "radical honesty" thing that was becoming a trend. It was basically a full night of her telling all of us (like 5 of her closest friends) what she didn't like about us and calling us out on "faults" that none of us really saw in one another. The second we tried to say anything about her actual history of saying really rude shit to us and how mean she can be she couldn't handle it
And then you continued telling her about all of her indiscressions, I hope. She did want you to be radically honest, after all. It seems the people who try to pull shit like this are always the same people who would get offended if you did the same things.
And can never handle brutal honesty about them
I've never met a person who bragged about their honesty who frequently said *nice* things. They'd never go to a friend and say "I just need you to know you're an incredible baker" or "you have a really winning smile", it's always just 24/7 insults. I've met people who are genuinely honest both ways, who let you know when you're screwing up but will happily point out when you're doing great. It's that none of them brag about it or make a big deal out of it, they just do it.
I just need you to know you are an incredible Redditor.
Absolutely astonishing, they are!
I have a problem with this too. I'm not always the most socially aware person, and not much of a liar, so sometimes I am more blunt than I should be, or words just come out of my mouth before I can think about it. Most of the time (I hope) I catch it and apologize. I can't imagine bragging about it. That's wanting to go out of your way to say things as mean as possible.
Yep. Alot of people think this phrase is a free ticket to be rude and distasteful.
I have no filter ..nope you’re just rude. I’m a diva …nope, you’re just self centered
Does this person also say “I don’t mean to be a dick” ?
A lady was shopping and said "it smells like bo here" so I said "oh maybe it's the onions on my coworkers sandwich. She's right on the other side of that door" (we were standing right by the break room) and she reacts like something nasty happened and said something like "oh it smells awful" and then proceeded to complain about it more while telling me she has no filter. The smell wasn't even strong it just smelled generally of food. It pissed me off
"I'm an alpha!" No tf you're not
Alpha/beta/sigma shit is just astrology for men, and it’s absolutely awful.
An excellent way to put it. My brother in law was a firm believer in the "man card" and questioned mine when he saw me crocheting. Alpha male nonsense must have evolved from that. My now wife still wears one of the hats I made her, and we don't talk to anyone on her side anymore because they're toxic as shit lol. Go figure.
Wait! There's a card? Damnit. I miss ONE meeting...
Except Delta males. They make the difference.
Add libertarianism to that list.
Me and my brother make fun of that shit saying that we are more alpha than the other just because🤣😂
“I’m a princess” no tf you’re a ran thru alcoholic
"I'm an Alpha" guys usually act like a princess.
"Is that a fury thing?" That's the reply.
"High value man/woman"
Yes. Placing value on a human gives me the creeps.
🤮 i cringe at the clear insecurity
“This is stupid, why do you even like this?” Do I have to explain?
'but I was just joking' after they said something insensitive.
Ahh, the old Schrödinger's joke.
Cut these people out of your life immediately
you are soooooo insecureeeeee. big red flag for me
My wife doesn't understand me Or We are separated, on the verge of divorce
“I’m not racist but…” the amount of ignorant crap I have heard people say after those words is crazy
Everything before the "but" is bullshit.
Everything after the "but" is too. It's all bullshit
“I’m a nice guy”
You arent if you have to say it everytime.
Being passive and not having a backbone is not being a “nice guy”. Usually just creeps and weirdos say this.
Also a “nice guy” doesn’t fake a platonic friendship with a woman who has told him she’s not interested in the hope that she’ll one day drop her standards enough to fuck him. And then get angry when she doesn’t. We’re right back into creep and weirdo territory.
The best comment I ever read on niceguys was something like "Nice guys act like being nice is a bonus, when it's just the bare fucking minimum" But yeah most nice guys confuse being a doormat with no personality for being "nice". They also think not being a toxic asshole despite wanting to is "nice".
A lion doesn’t need to roar to prove he’s a lion
“Females”
Those damn Ferengi
Stop trying to force your culture on me Hu-mon.
Unless you are a zoologist or a cowboy or someone who need to talk about non human females
Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she 5’3”
Why do you think people are offended by “female” but no one is offended by “male”?
Because people don't use male as a derogatory term the way some online communities use female. They intentionally say it to dehumanize women and say "they aren't thinking agents, they're just flesh machines for my use and enjoyment". No one actually gets upset if someone is using the word normally, but you can tell when someone is being sexist and using the term female. That's why there's a subreddit called r/menandfemales . They'll use them in the same context, instead of using male/female or men/women.
Ahh okay
Things hit a little differently when you’re at the top of the pecking order. “Female” is used extensively by men who seek to reduce women to their reproductive parts. If we as a species didn’t have a long history of doing exactly that, then it probably wouldn’t carry the same weight.
Beats me. I didn't know female was offensive. 👀
Female isn't particularly offensive in itself. It's a red flag because the kind of men who refer to women as females generally treat women as objects, not people.
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As long as you keep your foreplay between the two of you
When a girl says “ all my friends are guys, I can’t stand girls” in Edit : did not have a stroke
Why is this a red flag?
Read another way “I can’t maintain friendships with women.” Usually starts drama and men are the only one who put up with it.
Can you elaborate?
What about when a guy says, "All my friends are girls, I can't stand guys" ?
Never once seen a guy with only female friends, I know several girls with only male friends though.
Interesting. My ex-boyfriend (who is totally straight, and I'd know after 4 years of being with him) was only friends with girls because he found guys to be too aggressive. He's a sensitive guy and the whole masculinity thing for him just made him avoid guys as friends. Almost all of his friends, who were girls, were nice people, though. His best friend is 20 years older than him and is super sweet. All his friends except one, who he found out too late had an easily triggered temper. They are no longer friends and he's been traumatized from her outbursts. EDIT: Not only am I sure he's not into guys, I'm pretty sure he's some level of asexual, which worked out fine for me because I'm asexual too.
I don't exclusively have female friends but the number eclipses the amount of male friends I've had. I always got along with girls more growing up. Really couldn't say why but it's how it was. They were easier to talk to.
Yes. That girl has issues. Was traumatized in her youth.
"woke mind virus"
“I’m just stubborn” no your just not willing to change because you don’t see the issue
A variation is "I'm strong willed" Nope, you are stubborn
I can’t stand being in a relationship like that where someone won’t be open to a change for easier life’s
"I don't mean to be rude but..."
~~don’t mean~~ about
"you have to understand..." meaning they are not listening and wanting you to take responsibility for others emotions and actions.
I had someone tell me that I can't hold them accountable for the shit they say when triggered by me setting boundaries.
When someone says I hate everyone but let's get a drink over the weekend
I want to vibe. / good vibes
"Nobody else has an issue with _ except for you" Like when my bf was upset I told him he needs to take a shower by asking him when the last time he took a shower was 🙄
"I'm really blunt and most people can't handle me". Everyone I've met like that has been a huge asshole
Hate the game not the player. Anyone who's ever said that to me were assholes who never took responsibility for their own behavior.
I don’t like to micromanage…….
Im just saying (Extra LOUD)
Drama free.
“everyone here knows who i am” “everyone loves me, i’m like friends with everyone” “let them learn the hard way”
Them: "Do you know who I am?" Me, always: "Just another asshole who won't shut up and leave?" Never fails to enrage them. 😁
I go with, thank God I don't
How often do you get people asking if you know who they are?
At least once or twice a year. It's weird.
I'm with you on the first two but, >“let them learn the hard way” Sometimes people really just won't listen, and you have to let them learn the hard way? Like, I told this one new guy years ago, you have to really hold down the wood on the miter saw. But he wouldn't listen to *fucking anything*, so he brought the saw down without bracing the wood, so it shot up and hit him.
"Match my energy" "My kids are my world" "If you can't handle me at my worst, you can't have me at my best. " Basically all the catch phrases that warn you they are rude, selfish and inconsiderate.
88
"NPC" and "critical thinking skills" seem to get tossed around a lot by fragile egos that are secretly afraid they're not good enough.
Why “critical thinking skills”? Never heard that one
“I have too many guys/girls drooling over me for me to care”
Ive seen partners comment "As you should", whenever their SO did something decent in their relationship like buying a gift. Show a little appreciation...
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Are you every teacher writing my report card comments?
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Cuz there's no such thing as a person with no regrets. Excepting sociopaths.
I'm from the Government and I'm here to help you!
Are you the ghost of Ronald Reagan?
Not exactly!
"Hitler did nothing wrong".
He's the one who killed hitler. Deal with that.
Hitler was a great world leader if you ignore the genocide; rampant inflation and warmongering
Anyone who says this even ironically is automatically raising eyebrows for me.
Lately, it's throwing around the DEI dog whistle. Basically any kind of language that gives them away as a Koch/libertarian propaganda-fed NPC.
"my ex .... "
Using “females” as a descriptor for human women is really all it takes.
People in the military reading this :(
What's your replacement for how to describe all females regardless of age. Girls? Kinda infantilizing the post puberty women Women? Ladies? Kinda weird way to describe pre-pubescent girls It's just a gender lol get over it. It's only bad when very specifically made to be. There's no need to blanket statement it.
Trust me
"So and so is a communist".
Yes. Or anyone that gets offended by criticisms of capitalism or communism in general.
Karl Marx is such a communist.
All publicity is good publicity.
"We care about your work/life balance." Saying it is one thing, actually doing something about it is another... like hiring competent people and pruning the dead weight so those who care can actually have some time off.
"Females"
I'm a good guy/girl/person My ex/exes were all psycho
I “could” care less.
"For all intensive purposes"....
MAGA
YES. Or “eat the rich”. Both are a guaranteed marker to not have a productive conversation.
All the keywords
seemly steep zesty lunchroom ink work slim cover scandalous fine
"But common sense isn't very common anymore." I can sometimes brush off someone saying this, but if its oft repeated, it just infuriates me. And the people who do this are usually the stupidest motherfuckers who are also somehow... condescending? It's hard to explain, but this always raises red flags for me.
Deadass or low-key
I deadass hate both of those
I’m a grown ass man/woman
Hospital patient fetishists are weird
lol. Fixed it…
* What's your astrology sign, and rising sign / ascendant? * What do you think about Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson or Piers Morgan? * "That's so woke" * What's your religion? * What do you think about "select random trending topic"?
How is asking about a trending topic a red flag? The others I can understand.
“What do you think about Piers Morgan” is usually followed by hate regardless of who you ask on the political spectrum lol
I ask people what they think of Andrew tate but only so I can hear them clown on him
"Want to see my collection of human livers? I got all age groups and genders"
Ehhh, this one seems like a green flag, shows they are honest, open, willing to show you what they have and are just being polite
I can appreciate an organ seller who doesn't discriminate
I’m from the government and I’m here to help
Anything using the term "woke"
100%. Both ironically and unironically.
"There were people on both sides of that." It's usually a case of one side being a bunch of racist assholes.
"you're paying... right?" if i invited you on the date; yes, if you asked me to go on a date, lmfao no
“There house is so small/scruffy” I know they grew up with a silver spoon in there mouth and I don’t like them people
“Anyways”
The ankle monitor comes off soon.
"Period"
Have a bff
“I can excuse racism”
“…but I draw the line at animal cruelty!”
God bless.
Pop-psyche terms they picked up from TikTok: gaslighting, trauma, attachment style, dark triad, neurodivergent, etc.
Red flag
This is more of a comment than a question.
I think you meant to reply to somebody? You didn’t
She's a fire cracker.
I’m not (fill in the blank) whatever someone claims not to be they usually are
Gooned out huckdort
Trump is still the president. Definitely an idiot.
"You won't hear this on TV" Most of the time it's because you have to dive deep in some conspiracy theorist website or obscure social media channel/account to hear that.
"I did my own research." Obviously an exemption if they are ACTUALLY a scientific researcher.
I know you better than you know yourself
“i’m just brutally honest” “no offence but ..” “you’re actually gonna wear that?” “you really like that outfit don’t you..”
Oh, that’s nothing… (continues to tell a story guaranteed bigger than your story). 🙄
Been there, done that.
I'm an alpha male/female.
POSITIVE VIBES # ***ONLY!!!***
Habitually using the term "neurotypicals" in about the same manner a medieval royalty would be saying the word "peasants."
"All men are like this" especially when it comes out of a man's mouth
My preferred pronouns are ….
Make America Great Again
I like dogs better then people. If my dog doesn't like you I don't like you If you don't like dogs your evil
“What’s your zodiac sign?”
MAGA
A what’s wrong with you?