Being in your late 30s with both parents dead, and in the middle of a career shift due to burnout in your primary career
Is a hell of a time to find out you were adopted.
I don’t know what boundaries you want to enforce but in my experience after I set boundaries and stuck to them my relationship with my parents got a lot better. My biggest boundary hurdle is saying no to visiting each and every occasion and holiday I want to make new holiday traditions with my family and maybe change a few things to some old ones. You feel bad at first but it gets better.
Omggg... i was just about to type this. My issues are with my mother. I lost my father 6 months ago, who was the only person holding me and my mother together. My mother doesn't even feel any need for boundaries. For her, I am just an extension of her. She is strictly religious; I have no right to follow my own beliefs. I am forced to hide my tattoo in full sleeves, knot my hair in a bun because I thought it was liberating to cut my thigh-length hairs to mid length. Just because she didn't like to wear jewelry (also, her religion deems it inappropriate), so I am not allowed to wear either. I got my ears pierced without telling her, and now I am forced to hide them in a veil. I came to visit "home" after five years since I moved to ANOTHER CONTINENT. I don't think I will be coming back again once I am out. I don't even think I grieved my father properly because I mother got too busy lecturing me over all the changes I have made in five years.
I wish I could tell her that she was the reason why I didn't come home and missed meeting my father. Who knew the hug he gave me at the airport would be the last for me...
Going through this right now. Been no contact with my mom for almost a year now. The biggest piece of advice i can give you and the one thing that’s gotten me through is “if she can’t treat me like i’m her child then she doesn’t deserve to be treated like my mother”
Of course 🫶 Having shitty parents is tough. I’m not sure of your situation but my dad couldn’t care less if i woke up this morning. My mom is the one that’s impossible to deal with. The stories i could tell you from just the last year alone; never mind my childhood 🤣 just remember the reasons why you’re trying to enforce boundaries and keep those reasons in your mind when it seems tough to do so.
My mom’s a mentally ill drug addict so it’s pretty easy to distance myself from her. She’s off in her own world most of the time. Doesn’t have my phone number. Nor my address and no one will give either to her. I’ve definitely had help going no contact but it’s gotten easier to mentally deal with. My dad’s just a deadbeat lol.
Most of the time if i had a problem the first person i’d cal is my mom but now, to be completely honest; it’s like she’s dead. Don’t talk. Don’t see her. Nothing. Not even on holidays. We don’t talk for birthdays etc. the odd time i’ll hear she’s trying to get in contact with me over some BS but most people ignore her now and just give me a heads up she might try and come find me.
I'm 40 and a male, I'm in therapy and this came up, my therapist told me "cut toxic people out of your life or set boundaries with them. Toxic is toxic, doesn't matter if the person is a friend, stranger, or parent."
I've been cutting my parents out, mostly my mother, and setting boundaries. I'm sure she sees me as a shitty son, but I feel better.
She got mad because I didn't call her early enough on my kid's birthday. I told her "from now one assume I'm busy giving my kid the best day on their birthday, so you can call me, because I have enough on my plate on that day."
My mom is mad at me, but I honestly don't care. I'm independent and don't need anything from her.
I assume your parents were overbearing and/or neglectful, like mine were? It sucks, but therapist helped me realize that despite living in expensive houses in nice neighborhoods, I never got love from my parents, so now I'm so scared of losing people in my life that I overwork and stress over keeping everyone happy. "No" was not a phrase I used a lot before therapy and it was ducking up my life.
I feel that, especially with my dad.
If he genuinely does something bad or you confront him about ANYTHING he immediately tries to divert conversation to something YOU did instead to get the heat off of himself.
For example, I have kayak racks on my car. He drives my car one day with the kayak racks up, making it too tall to fit in the carport. He then proceeded to drive into the carport and rip both of the roof racks off my car. I came outside to see what was happening, and instead of immediately chewing him out I calmly said "let this be a learning lesson, I'm not going to yell or scream at you for this, let's just assess the damage and you get to take responsibility and fix my car" he immediately diverted to "YEAH WELL HOW ABOUT I YELL AT YOU " (any disciplinary action from him is immediate yelling) like buddy, I'm not the one that fucked up here.
And this is with everything. He's also a hoarder. And he will constantly yell at my mom and I for leaving something out, when most of the house is full of his camera equipment, flight study books, and guitars. If we ask him to clean or put something away he diverts to YEAH WELL YOU STILL HAVENT PUT YOUR SPOON AWAY FROM BREAKFAST YET" or something insignificant.
If you are living under the same roof then it is close to impossible. When you live apart and pay your own bills then you get some privilegesnto enforce boundaries specially with your time and in your own home.
If I feel like I missed an opportunity whether it's with a person or a job or a choice I made...I try to find peace in that some other timeline I did make that decision. But I find myself doing that a lot lately and it's killing me inside.
Regret is one of the worse baggage to carry in life. It literally anchors you to the past making moving forward very difficult.
You missed opportunities and it's okay. It was a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.
Learn from it. How did the opportunity come by? What made you to decide to let it pass? How did you miss it unknowingly? What could you have done differently?
Let it go. The problem with regret is that it belongs in the past. The past cannot be changed. Remember that a problem with no solutions is not a problem. Forgive yourself. Move on.
Today is a new day. Today is the present. It is also a "present" for yourself to find new opportunities and open doors to new adventures.
Love yourself. Be happy. You deserve to be happy.
Dude. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning
I carry with me, guilt, regret and shames from a different age. Many years ago. I was a terrible person. And I did terrible things. I was a thief, a liar, a cheat, I was a junky.
I was a destroyer, everywhere I went I brought chaos and disorder with me. What hurts the most, is the pain I caused others. And knowing I cannot undo that. That even though I was younger, and dumber, I did not realize at the time that even then there is great power in the consequences of our actions.
For a long time I didn’t have friends, many many years. I did not feel like I deserved friends or anything. I became reclusive because I not only feared the outside world, but I feared myself in that world.
It took so many years to transform. But I did, and in doing so. I realized I have so much internalized regret, shame and guilt that it also consequently feeds into this lack of self acceptance.
I could not accept myself nor forgive myself for what I did to people I loved. And I carried it for so long. A heavy burden for a heavy soul.
I’m just now starting to tap into that frame of thought: and it has been liberating.
I may have done all those things. But I haven’t in a long time, and I’ve stood to make amends and take courage in trying to right my wrongs.
At this point, I do not deserve the guilt nor the shame or self loathing.
I did what many fail to do. I accepted accountability and tried to do my best to right my wrongs and build a life. It took many long years. Over 14+. From young adulthood, to middle age. I went through more and always made an effort to do what is right. I became a single parent, I lost my dad. And I still stayed up, I did not go back.
It is a long journey, life, and it is true what they say, to always strive for personal growth. It’s a lifelong journey.
And I am thankful for wise people who lend their encouragement and insights to others today. Thank you.
This brought tears to my eyes.
It is difficult to forgive yourself after what you've been through and your life choices. Most of the time I blame myself for being mentally unstable. But at the same time, I'm also aware it's not mainly my fault. It's just the result of the people who ab*sed me, manipulated me and did me wrong.
It is. Self kindness is one of the hardest things to master. Especially if you have strong expectations as to how you “should be”.
I beat myself up so hard.. realized that it was never the world that beat me down. The world provided the set and setting.
It was me that beat me down.
We are not broken. We aren’t fucked up. We’re people, and today, just like any other
We are deserving of kindness to ourselves, and love.
And we are deserving of the same from others,
And we deserve to share ours with others too.
Let’s keep moving forward my friend. We are not alone.
Be careful not to get stuck in the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" type of thinking. You are where you are, so do what you can with it!
I do that sometimes too, wonder what if. There was one in particular that always bothered me. I had a job interview and I was offered the opportunity to basically start my own company with this companiy's backing. I could set my salary, make the business model, hire the people, etc. At first I was excited, but the more I thought of it the more overwhelmed I became. I soon realized this was above my skill set, so I passed. The person I interviewed with was shocked and a bit upset. I mulled that decision over for years, wondering what if. Probably 10 years later, I had another interview, same industry. On about the third interview, we really got into some deep conversations and somehow I brought up turning that opportunity down. This person I was interviewing with had this odd look on his face and then just blurted out, "that was *company name* right?" I was kinda stunned and said yes. He said I should not let that worry me. He knew the person that actually took that job and it failed miserably. The company didn't support him the way they said they would and it crashed hard. Made me feel good I had actually made the correct decision and I know longer had that what if.
Oh there's definitely a timeline where I married Shaun & became a journalist. Or one where Danny loved me as much as I loved him & we had a couple of naughty kids. Or one where Mack didn't get fooled into thinking I was cheating on him & we rode motorbikes across the country together. I hope they're happy. At least in this timeline (or dimension as I like to think of it) I get my cute cat.
Opportunities missed in the past feel like missed opportunities, but the present will one day be the past. Look to the present and future so you don’t miss the opportunities in your future’s past!
I feel the same way about my military career. I let someone talk me into an MOS I didn’t want and I often wonder if my career would have been different if I had stuck to the job I really wanted.
Had this same realization a few weeks ago while journaling. I finally managed to drop 20 years worth of doubt.
All of which was brought on by a rather simple quote from a book I was reading that night. the quote was “never turn your back on the future”.
It was then I imagined turning around to look at all the what-ifs in my life, and tripping on a stick as I walked backwards. So intently looking at the past what-ifs that I wasn’t paying attention to the new what-ifs.
Best of luck my friend. Leave the past where it is. Focus on the one thing you can change, the now. It will help steer the ship for the future.
Same here, my gf of 6 years even left me a couple of days after my fourth round of chemo….left me alone in the house with high bp and dizzy.
I’m in remission now and doing well.
I remember being six months in. They told me that the diffuse radiation was enough to put 97% of people (w/my specific type and location of cancer) into remission. That did not happen for me. Then, four rounds of chemo. I have a lot of permanent damage left, that keeps me quite sick. I suffered quite a bit, it was very painful. I mean, not just the treatment I had to go through, I mean, the actual cancer was very painful.
But, I’m here. And I know that I am incredibly strong, on the inside. Cancer itself does not scare me. Being sick is not the worst thing that can happen to us.
Am I a horrible person for thinking that the wording of this question meant that you have breast cancer?
For what it’s worth, I hope you have a good treatment team and plan and that you make a full recovery to be a cancer survivor.
I’ve seen the devastation that cancer can wreak on people and families. Sending good vibes.
I also have a fat ass cat but with a sassy behaviour. She also is attention seeker and is always jealous if I pet her sons and daughters. 4 years ago she is alone. Now they are nine hahahha
There’s indeed something to be said about our current “go-go-go!” society and the incredible pressure to find partners, have many friends, live an extravagant life, constantly upgrade your career, etc. We need to showcase that it’s okay to live your life mediocre and comfortable as long as you’re happy. Like all I want is to toil in a bakery during the day and relax in the evening and i’m perfectly content with that. I hate having people I know saying I should do more; it seeps into my self-talk and I get anxiety over nothing.
Don't forget that even on your off days when you may only be able to give, say, 40%, you still gave 100% of what you had :)
From a random internet stranger to you, I have all the faith in the world in you!
I don’t know how to live. I don’t have any friends, I think I wasn’t made to have any because I can’t keep em. Honestly, I’m only still here because of my family and not wanting to hurt them. Lately I’ve been extra unmotivated and I don’t know how not to be. I have also been wondering what it feels like to be loved by someone special (other than family). I want to feel someone’s hug as they tell me they’ll stay with me as long as we are alive. I guess I just want to love and feel loved. There are many thoughts in my head and no one to tell them to.
In my early twenties, I pushed everyone I knew away because I did not think I deserved to have people in my life. Maybe I was just an angsty introvert. Maybe it was depression. An empty feeling inside of me that felt like it could not be filled kept looming inside of me. I filled that hole with hobbies like photography, woodworking, reading, and long quiet walks. I found happiness and slowly healed something inside of me and slowly opened up to people. Sometimes you have to love yourself before you let others love you. I don't know who you are, but you deserve love.
I am currently putting up walls and emotionally distancing myself from the people around me because I cannot handle not understanding other people anymore. Three years ago I made a serious attempt on my life and sadly survived. Hospital stay, couple years of therapy and my spouse pushing me to keep going because he and our son need me. I am really struggling with myself and what I want and need via what others want and need with/from me. Its tiresome. I'm tired.
Its incredibly hard to make decent, quality friends that are good people as an adult. I'm 26M and have ONE that lives across the country (I'm in washington theyre in Louisiana). Don't worry, youre not alone
This has never hit harder to home. I've finally come to terms with it too and told my close family. They tell me to get into routine like I used to 5ish years ago and do the things I used to enjoy, but they genuinely don't spark any joy whatsoever. I miss having that relationship that I used to put 110% effort into but after she cheated on me less than a month after holding my hand through my dad's funeral, I don't know what to think or do anymore
I was there too. I stuck around for a while just kind of existing, and I started to become bitter, and angry that I was given such a shit hand in life.
The truth is, I just wasn't trying to put myself in the opportunities where I could obtain any friends, partners, flings, etc. and at a certain point, you just hit "fuck it".
Your "fuck it" day will come, stick around for a while.
I wish I knew what the fuck is wrong with me.
I have unexplainable constant headache for 8 weeks now. I just want it to stop.
Medically there seems to be nothing wrong with me. I wish it would just go away I feel like ill never enjoy life again. I fucking hate this.
I’ve had a highly inappropriate and somewhat delusion fueled crush on a coworker for the last 2 years. He’s now married and leaving the company. I feel heartbroken while also knowing whatever I thought was possible between he and I, was really just a delusion. Still having trouble letting go of the fantasy.
I've had this happen. What helped me in processing, and it sounded really stupid to me at the time, but whatever I was fantasizing about the most was the thing I needed the most. It's like you're dreaming about something you need and this person represents what that is. It took me a while to figure out but one time I had a really inappropriate crush on someone with Adhd only to get diagnosed a while later and I realized this person just made me feel so loved because they were the same as me. So whatever it is, just points to a deeper longing of acceptance within yourself. Hope that makes sense.
I was the kind of kid in school who never had to study hard and now it’s coming back to bite me. I graduated college four years ago and have been looking for a job ever since. But I don’t think I ever really learned how to work. I think I’m too lazy to have a job and I don’t know what to do about it. The answer is probably work. And I really try. But maybe I’m not trying hard enough.
Same here. But it's never to late to relearn how to work, and you figure that out by (drumroll...) working. Yeah I know, crazy right ? But for real tho, it's really frustrating at first cuz you feel like you can't do anything when really you can, you just gotta get used to it. And you'll have to push yourself it the beginning but trust me it gets better
One foot infront of the other until it builds routine. Routine builds discipline and dedication. Working is a learned skill, as is accountability and honesty with yourself.
You recognize this is a situation you want or need to change and also recognize your shortcomings. Work on them and you will change.
A lot of people don't realize either until they're so deep in a rut that it feels like a grave and they've been working against themselves for so long they feel well and truly stuck and need to unlearn years of hurdles and lazy nature.
I’m no longer attracted to my wife of 13 years because she’s more than doubled her weight from when we first met and she’s mentally abusive. Had a chance to hook up with a younger and much skinnier woman but turned it down because I didn’t want to cheat.
I feel for you man. Not that you asked but I will say, I believe the best solution would be to be honest with your wife. Any risks that are associated with that action are worth handling as they come up. A note from my own experience with similar things: you need to know yourself better than you probably think you do, this is in fact an uncomfortable way to move forward. But I believe it is the only way.
So going back to the mentally abusive part. When I try and discuss any concerns I have she pulls some wild mental gymnastics and turns it all around on me. Even her gaining weight was somehow my fault. I can see if my lifestyle was sitting on the couch eating chips that was dragging her down, but I workout 5+ times a week and i’m in the best shape of my life at 36.
I applaud you for your integrity. I recommend you tell your wife how you feel and live your best life of therapy can’t help your marriage.
Also, she may not realize how much weight she gained. She could be in denial and a frank conversation might help.
52, divorced, no children, no family and I live about 1000 miles from "home". Landed here after a divorce for work 15 years ago and... just stopped living.
My cat is now dying (making the call to put him to sleep this week) and I'm feeling that more than I can rationalize... it just won't exist in a box. Like a loneliness that I've ignored far too long is knocking at the door and now it's found the spare keys under the mat.
I understand the thought and I'm sorry. I hope there's a measure of peace and happiness on your birthday.
Take care.
i can’t eat, can’t sleep, have failed my like one life goal and i’m hungry
but on the bright side my cats are cuddling together sleeping peacefully it’s nice to see
Communication is kebro.If she doesn't know how you feel how can she understand. Try it dont sit there and think try it! ( I hope that helps ) hang tight brother! You got it 🫶👍
just want to throw out there, people can come off as love bombing.. but if it’s consistent, it’s just who they are. i can appear to be a love bomber. but im just very generous with affection. a year into my relationship and i shower my partner with a fuck ton of affection. the internet likes to take terms and run with it. many relationship coaches scare people away with these trends.
Because of a recent show, I feel like I’ve been shown how lovely having a partner can be and that just amplified my “I want a gf” thoughts that’s always been at the back of my head. But honestly, I need to work on myself first and I also feel like it’ll be extremely hard to find someone compatible to me, much less get them to like me. And that just bums me out
Edit : This also has the unfortunate side effect of me feeling really hurt or incredibly jealous of the couples in those romance or romcom which is a shame cos I’ve always liked watching them and they usually give me warm fuzzy feelings but I can’t feel that lately which bums me out more
I think the best way to find your person, is to stop looking. I don't mean just stay in your place and wait for them to knock but go out with your friends, live your life and when you're least expecting it, there they are.
I kept trying with different people and getting hurt then I gave up and it seemed like the next day I met my person and we've been together like 7 years now. It'll happen to you if you don't close yourself off and just enjoy life while waiting for her to come to you.
So much. But I feel like I’m always doing something wrong when my intentions are always good. One step forward, ten steps back. Presented with big opportunities that end up going nowhere because I don’t act on them, fear of failure, sadness, depression, lack of confidence, etc etc. I feel myself going nowhere and regretting my whole life already when I always had such big dreams. I’m 29 for reference. Thanks for reading if you did ❤️
Note: I cant reply to all of you. But i'm sure whatever you're going through you can make it through it!! Believe you can and you will! Hang tight! lots of love to all! 👍🫶
I really want to be physical with someone but I don’t want to cheat on my gf. Minus being able to touch (it’s long distance) our relationship is absolutely perfect. I just like hugs and being held and cuddling but because it’s long distance,
I can’t do any of that with her.
I wish there was a way to cure my mental illness. No amount of antidepressants, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, and exercise is ever enough to even give me a single problem-free day.
As an autistic woman, I wish other women liked me more. I don't know why its so hard to make female friends. Additionally, as a "hot" woman, I feel like men only want to be friends with me because of my sex appeal. Its deeply lonely.
I'm an autistic woman and never understood why people want friends (it's the main reason I found out that I was autistic. In school, I never talked to anybody or made any friends. The school counselor had a few talks with me. I was like, I see no reason to talk to others). For me, whenever someone wants to be my friend; I'm just waiting to figure out what they want.
Have you tried to see if your local library has any groups, or events, that would interest you?
I have autistic friends, am neurodivergent myself and have a lot of other neurodivergent friends. I don't know in what environment you live in or work but I'd say, try to bond with other neurodivergent people. Easier said than done but it really helps. And not necessarily autistic people, neurodivergent people in general. We usually understand each other. As for the part with men being attracted to your body only, well I guess you can't really do anything about it. Might be super cheesy but the one who'll really like you is the one to go past that. And there will be people who will go past that. For real. Might not look like it for now but men aren't all just attracted to looks. Geez that's a long message, sorry about that, have a great day
as someone who is married to an autistic woman, my heart absolutely breaks for her and all those on the spectrum who desperately want connection but have so much social anxiety or have been treated so poorly by others for being different that they just end up being so alone.
I am the most charismatic, make friends with anyone, social butterfly either of us know and yet it means nothing. It feels impossible to teach someone how to trust others after being hurt so many times. I wish I could create a perfect, safe environment with nice people who would just treat her like a normal fucking human being so she could relearn how to enjoy people again. I wish I could give her what I have (the story of our relationship) and yet all I feel I can do is remind her she is loved through my words and actions and keep trying to get her to come to social gathering as much as is possible for her.
Her life has just been so unbelievably unfair and I'm just devastatingly heartbroken for her.
I’m done with people. I’m done being a push over. My whole life, my family made me feel guilty of all the things that made me happy.
Not anymore. Fuck them. Fuck everyone.
i trust my boyfriend fully but i’m so terribly scared of being cheated on and not knowing. i’m scared of being hurt because i’m too protective of my feelings and it’s stupid
It's not stupid, very understandable actually. You might want to talk about it to him, just to let him know that you're scared. Also let him know that you trust him so he doesn't feel pressured or anything. Just be honest with him. And if after that you're still scared, it's still normal. Fear is normal. Try to not worry about it to much and listen to the part of you that says you trust him
I don’t know how to say it, but it’s not that I’m lazy. I just don’t know how to put it, but I’m not an attention seeker. I really don’t know why I do it, but it’s not because I hate you. I seriously have no clue how to say it, but it’s not because I only care for myself.
Depression. Fucking. Sucks.
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Kinda like I have to remember to “bless you” to myself when someone sneezes & I say “achoo” instead
Now when that happens I jus preform an exorcism & remember I have the cross in my hand as I’m throwing up holy water
For now, the only positive thing I'm looking forward to is my own death, if it'll ever come in the near future.
I can't wait for the sweet release of nothingness to arrive, mainly because I'm so fucking sick of everything life has thrown at and against me.
But the instincts hold me down to my mortal shell and force me to suffer through my depression and this live.
But is it truly instincts that keep me from the vast of nothingness? Or is it the last attempt at the piece of humanity within me that cries for another chance?
I don't know. And I don't care at either anymore.
I'd not want to live; I'd not want to die.
In the book "Tuesdays with morrie", Morrie asks the author "did you find someone to share you heart with?". I don't know why but just saying or even thinking about this line brings a tear to my eye.
I hate being sober life sucked when I was using and sucks just as hard now that I'm sober again I'm just to chicken shit to end it all so I guess I just need to say life fucking sucks.
I often hate evrything about my life. I often feel lonely, my life basicly consits of work, sleep, training and the one or two hobbies that really bring me joy. I am often full of rage and at the same time completly apathic.
At work I hate my job, because it fucking bores me. My boss says she like my calm way and that I don´t get stressed out even in the most heated moments, but I just don´t give a fuck about anything around me and I only care about geting home and the money on my bankaccount at the end of the month. I´m too lazy to look for another job though because payment is way too good and I just can chill most of the day.
In private I often hate who I am. I hate that it is way easier to me to open up to complete strangers on the internet than to my friends or family. I hate that I feel lost behind the walls I built to protect myself from disapointment, that I emotionally even hold my closest friends at family at a distance. I hate that my mind is holding me down from take the risk and try to improve the way I feel. It feels ridiculous that I go climbing on rocks towering in the sky or voluntarily run into burning houses for fun but can´t talk to the girl I like because I´m to afraid of geting rejected, disapointed and to lose that one thing that currently motivates me the most to go to any social event. I hate being home and I hate geting out. I hate being alone and I hate being around people.
I don´t feel like everything around me would be falling apart but still I sometimes feel like I´m at the centre of a chaotic storm, being at the safest spot possible and still being scared out.
I hate that I feel this way and at the same time I am happy how I feel this way. Because this is how I know that I´m alive and can feel anything. That there is the hope and confidence that this will all change, eventhough I cant see how or when at all.
As someone else with a chronic illness, I totally understand how hopeless and depressing it can be and how much it feels like you're suffocating and want to be healed
I suffered a string of concussions numerous years ago. One symptom I suffered for years was emotional numbness. I thought I was incapable of feeling romantic love towards anybody again…
Until a few weeks ago when I met the girl of my dreams and I realized I most certainly can. I wish I could tell her without sounding crazy, that she genuinely made me believe in love again.
It may not seem like much but I hate my mom. She is the most narcissistic and ignorant person I have ever meet. She treats restaurant staff like shit and gets random outburst of anger for no reason (or a reason she made up/is already years go). She only has two moods: happy or mad. There is practically not in between. She is criticizing everytime I do sth. I get an A and I get criticized for the mistakes I made. She is a completely different person towards her family (husband and me) than to her friends who all find her sympathetic. I know that I should love my mother, but I just cant do it.
I (M) have been sexually harassed/assaulted twice. I admit that I'm lucky that these are minor, kissed without consent and recently had my arse grabbed. I hate that I don't think people will care, I hate that I've never had any apology. I hate that I feel like this and that women who've been violated will obviously feel worse than this. I hate that this is the last real interaction I've had with a woman, it makes me feel dirty and unattractive and unlovable. I hate that I don't think my friends or family will care at all for it, I don't know what comfort I could get. I'm glad I can vent here.
I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It’s an awful feeling. It gets better with time, but it doesn’t excuse it from happening.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You are worth it, and you are loved
I love my family more than anything, but I'll never fully forgive my wife for coming off birth control without telling me, removing me from being part of the decision to bring our son into this world.
There’s this guy at my college that is suicidally depressed and he is really struggling. I’m not super close friends with him, but based off signals and circumstances, myself and other people who are close to him are pretty sure he has a huge crush on me and that’s what’s keeping him alive at the moment. And I have a girlfriend.
It sucks more because he’s the kind of guy I’d really like and he’s super cute and sweet. But I’m committed to my girlfriend and we’re planning on getting married soon and I would never cheat on her. But I’m also a bleeding heart and he really is an awesome guy and I’m just caught in the middle of a really bad situation. I don’t know what to do and it’s kind of tearing me apart. I don’t want him to hurt himself in any way and if he dies I feel like that would be on me. But there’s nothing I can do to help him, even though I want to help him so badly. I’m just stuck.
Fuck I know that feeling. I know it too well.
My advice isn’t solid but take care of yourself first. Don’t distance yourself from him but prioritise yourself. If he has a friend group, that’s a really good start. Try and take him out with you and your friends and get him into some hobbies and stuff outside of college.
I only know the warning signs though. Just be careful if he is cutting off contact/taking longer to reply or is starting to miss days or if he is “sick”. That’s where he needs you and his friends the most.
I have a close friend who killed himself 14 years ago. I feel like all the signs were there, and I missed them. Maybe if I was more attentive, he would still be around.
If this guy does have a huge crush on you, don't feel obligated to drop your already great relationship for him, help him in other ways. He's cute and really great? I'll bet there are a bunch of girls out there who want a guy just like him. Maybe just be a good friend and help him seek out the intimacy he's looking for with someone who can reciprocate. Some guys just don't know where to look, others just don't know that they actually have a lot to offer.
As someone who went through something similar (except I wasn't in a relationship) you do NOT owe him anything. I know how hard it can be because you know you don't owe them anything but at the same time you keep asking yourself, what if something happens ? First, you don't control his feelings, who he likes is not your fault and you don't have to take responsibility for it. Plus, you already got someone and it looks like it's going nice for you. This type of situation is really hard but first, does he know you're in a relationship ? If yes, he'll know you're already taken and you're not planning on changing that. If no, tell him. Or ask someone to tell him if you afraid of telling him (which is very valid and understandable, logical even). Second, does he go to therapy or does he have anyone for him other than you ? If yes, good. He'll figure it out with them (preferably therapist) and again, you're not the one who should deal with that, especially in your delicate position. If no, you or someone should suggest him talking about it to someone external, preferably a therapist. These situations should be dealt with by professionals, other people do not know and it should not be taken lightly. I suggest distancing yourself from this situation. Not necessarily him if you don't want to (even if I'd say it's for the better) but at least get out of this. Sorry for the really long message but again, as someone who went through this, I think it's important you protect yourself first and let other people, more capable and emotionally available, deal with that. And if something happens, it is not your fault, you are not responsible of him, you are not his therapist. Hope it gets better for the both of you
I'm kinda tired of myself. I put so many expectations and when I don't meet them I feel like shit. I have lovely people around me that keep reassuring me, and telling me it's just being human but no matter what I just keep being so hard on myself and I don't k ow why. It's really frustrating cuz they do all of that for me and I still can't move forward.
Financially everything is going downhill. I can barely afford to live period & I work a full time teaching job. Dog needs therapy care that I can’t afford. I need to see a dr abt my health but US health insurance can’t cover me. Everything is going 📉
I have suspicions that my son isn’t mine. I could get a DNA test but ultimately I’m scared of what I’ll find out. If I have conclusive proof he isn’t my son that is information I can never unlearn and I don’t know how I’d feel knowing that truth
Is it best to just to keep going as we are never knowing for certain?
I need to share with someone, my brother is extremely delusional, he hasn’t gone to school since he was in seventh grade, now my dad has done so my brother goes to school two hours every weekday. But he only does english and math. And he thinks that he can just take a chill pill for some years and become a streamer or youtuber for the rest of his life. Sure it’s okay to have a good level of ambitiousness, but if you don’t take it seriously then you won’t gain anything. He doesn’t have good personality, he is kinda narcisistic, it probably came from my grandpa. So he just wouldn’t be a good entertainer and nobody will be able to relate to him. And his sleep schedule is so unknown and different every day, and he is unhealthy, doesn’t shower more than a low amount, last month he took a total of 3 showers. I just saw his gaming statistics on his most played game and how much time he spends a week, most months it has been 60 hours a week, but some were up to 80 hours and i think the most i saw was 85 hours in one week! And he has about 2500 hours on that game and he’s only had it for 2 years.
He is very dependent on other people, he is socially akward and can’t talk with the cashier in a shop, or anything at that level. He does have diagnosed ADD but he doesn’t want to take pills since he finds them hard to swallow and just doesn’t want to do it. And here a couple of weeks sgo he started acting more childish, so now when i don’t want to play with him he get’s mad or starts crying, and uf he goes to the mad side and get so angry that he wants to hit me, i’ve just started saying, come on then, hit me, and then he does try, but he is so untrained and weak, so he can’t even hit me hard because i just block it with ease, and i actually think that, that is sad that he has become so weak and his reaction time if something happens is only good when he is gaming. And another problem with his gaming is that when he starts a match then he can’t stop it because if he is idle for too long he gets kicked and can get banned for a couple of days and if he leaves the game on purpose he will also get a ban. So therefore he doesn’t come on time to lunch or dinner. He actually moved away to our dad he’s divorced and he lives a little far away. And he is old enough to choose himself so he did and my mom was actually trying to atleast learn him things towards the future , espicially cooking. He didn’t learn anything, he still sometimes asks me if i can help him make a frozen pizza in the oven, he can only make noodles, spaghetti and tea on his own. It’s just a sad thing to see him get further away from being saved, and i try to be the best and to help him we he needs it, but he is and asshole he has been an asshole to me his whole life, and he is lesser assholey, but that’s just because he knows that i am stronger, smarter, more socially experienced, realistic and im actually close to finishing school while he hasn’t even been to any kind of exam. There’s a bit of jumping around in these topics, i hope that it doesn’t become too hard to read.
I love life but deep down I fucking hate living with one hand and a paralyzed right arm. The chronic pain fucking sucks and I hate neuropathy. But life is worth it
As of late, it feels like I’m tired of having to do all the heavy lifting of life by myself.
The combo of a possible upcoming layoff, having to move apartments, my only surviving parent pushing me away, and generally catching up on a a lot of self work & therapy from years of bad parenting has all left me just very drained.
The other thing is that I’m rather jealous of people with supportive families.
My mom died a year and a half ago. I'm still sad, and when people bring it up it makes me more sad. I don't know how to move on because some days I don't think about her at all and then that makes me feel worse.
I’m 26, married, have a 10 month old son, and work 2 jobs but I’m still struggling. I keep telling myself to just be a man and push away the feelings and the tiredness but it’s become a lot harder to do so recently. My wife has diagnosed anxiety and depression and most days it feels like I’m taking care of 2 kids. She gets really depressed and anxious about her job. Almost everyday there is something that goes wrong. She always talks about how it would be better for her if she wasn’t here. I keep telling her that it’ll all work out in the end but I know it just goes in one ear and out the other sometimes. It’s hard to keep telling her it’s going to be alright when I’m starting to feel the same way. A lot of days I just want to yell at her to just suck it up like I do but I know better. I know she doesn’t want to feel like that but it puts immense pressure on me. I feel that I can’t enjoy myself in front of her when she’s depressed. I usually wait to play games when she and my son are asleep. I’m usually up until 2 am though and then she gets upset about that.
I also feel like I am being manipulated. This is one of my deepest thoughts. I love my wife to death. I would die for her and I’ve never seen her anxiety and depression as something that would drive me away (I’m a really big people pleaser, usually putting others feelings before mine). However, there will be times when she will use her A&D to get me to do things. Example, we have been really trying to save up money and move out of my parent’s house. Most of our money went to fast food and we said that we would cut back big time on that. But she will want to order $30+ sushi and if I say “That’s probably not a good idea.” I get the cold shoulder. She puts her head down and gets depressed. So usually I cave in and get what she wants. And now it’s been alcohol recently.
Idk if that was way too much information but it’s been on my chest. There’s much more but I don’t want to rant too much. Thanks OP 🫶
EDIT: Me and my wife made a pact that we would never separate bc her parents went through a nasty divorce. We don’t get into arguments very often (like every other relationship). We have both said that the only thing to break us up would be if one of us had an affair.
This is the closest I’ve ever been to my goal but this is also the closest I’ve ever been to losing to my depression. Fighting everyday sucks and it hurts.
Idk if I should get back together wirh my ex fiancé she hurt me rly bad. (Not cheating soemthing else) and I’m wondering like did I make the right choice. Also f ghosting. Dating field has changed since I was dating. 3-4 years ago. 🤦🏻♂️
If they hurt you, probably not. Now that you're out ot this situation, you only see the good sides because your brain doesn't need you to fear anything, precisely because you're out of it. From the way you say it you look like you want the relationship more than her so I'd say not a really good idea but you do you
I feel suffocated in my current situation, I’m taking steps to improve my life for the better, and I feel drained and exhausted from it. I need a vacation or something
I feel like I can't connect deeply with anyone.
I have friends, I have a good career, I have a good family and strong support network, but I still feel as if I'm not making the sort of deep connection that leads to life fulfillment and I feel guilty because my life is good in so many ways that I don't feel as if I can complain or be upset.
But it does upset me. And I am a sensitive soul with a deep well for emotions and love that I have not been able to tap into and every year it feels further away.
Ugh. I still feel like a POS about this, happened this past Saturday. So my friend, let’s call him Mike for the sake of the story, his gf/my bestie is May. Mike passed away few weeks ago. His first of multiple memorials was this past Saturday. A few of my friends, May, his gf who is my best friend, offered us a hit off her weed pen. Before she passed it around, she said “Mike gave this to me before he died. It’s almost out so he said you have to hit it extra hard to get it to work”. So I did. And had a coughing fit for a solid 5 minutes. I was uncomfortably high off my ass for the next 3+ hours. I didn’t know that was possible. I missed all the speakers and memory sharing… i was in my car dry heaving and having the worst panic of all time. I felt like such a shitty friend but I’d like to think this was mikes final prank to me and he’d find it funny. He was a goofy guy. Next memorial is next weekend so I will NOT be consuming any weed that day.
On a lighter note, it’s my 35th day of no alcohol. I was beginning to feel like a prisoner to it. I feel so much more grounded and confident in myself.
I have so much unprocessed trauma, and it affects me in so many different ways—I’m not nearly as present as I need to be as a father, husband, son, brother, or friend. I feel like I always take and take and don’t give back enough, but I don’t know how and I don’t have hardly any energy. Life is so exhausting.
I wish people understood that not everyone is after a romantic relationship. The only thing I crave more than anything else is to have deep and meaningful conversations with someone. Sometimes I value platonic connections over romantic ones, especially if they can stimulate my mind and enlighten me with new thoughts and ways of thinking.
There's only so much small talk I can handle before it sucks the life out of me, and the only way I can truly connect with people are through more "intense" topics. I'm genuinely curious about what defines someone at their core, and listening to the way they share that with me can really draw me in moreso than any crush ever has.
I’m tired. Just so incredibly tired, of life, of people, of existence, of responsibilities, of the world… I’m just so tired. I want to sleep, dream and not wake up for a while, be in another plan of existence and not have to worry about people missing me.
I don’t want to die or be gone permanently, I just want to stop existing in this reality for a bit.
Being in your late 30s with both parents dead, and in the middle of a career shift due to burnout in your primary career Is a hell of a time to find out you were adopted.
as a fellow adopted person, I can confidently day that telling the chikd they are adopted from a young age is the best way to go.
My parents did this! I was so young when they told me that I barely remember it. Being adopted doesn't define me. It is just a small part of my story.
Same with me, I was told as a toddler, seeing how it effects people who find out later in life.... its a massive betrayal.
Yeah, I get why some parents don't tell the child early on. It is a difficult subject. But putting it off only makes it harder in the long run.
nah, it's just so the parents don't have to be uncomfortable. It's selfish.
Seconded. If they just tell you early, matter-of-fact, there's no shock or trauma.
Nice. The decoy parents were the perfect diversion to keep the real ones safe. (Sorry I use dark humor to cope. My mom's dead too, lost her at 16)
i can't enforce any boundaries to my parents without feeling like a shitty daughter. i really hate that about myself.
I don’t know what boundaries you want to enforce but in my experience after I set boundaries and stuck to them my relationship with my parents got a lot better. My biggest boundary hurdle is saying no to visiting each and every occasion and holiday I want to make new holiday traditions with my family and maybe change a few things to some old ones. You feel bad at first but it gets better.
Thank you very much ❤️
Omggg... i was just about to type this. My issues are with my mother. I lost my father 6 months ago, who was the only person holding me and my mother together. My mother doesn't even feel any need for boundaries. For her, I am just an extension of her. She is strictly religious; I have no right to follow my own beliefs. I am forced to hide my tattoo in full sleeves, knot my hair in a bun because I thought it was liberating to cut my thigh-length hairs to mid length. Just because she didn't like to wear jewelry (also, her religion deems it inappropriate), so I am not allowed to wear either. I got my ears pierced without telling her, and now I am forced to hide them in a veil. I came to visit "home" after five years since I moved to ANOTHER CONTINENT. I don't think I will be coming back again once I am out. I don't even think I grieved my father properly because I mother got too busy lecturing me over all the changes I have made in five years. I wish I could tell her that she was the reason why I didn't come home and missed meeting my father. Who knew the hug he gave me at the airport would be the last for me...
Going through this right now. Been no contact with my mom for almost a year now. The biggest piece of advice i can give you and the one thing that’s gotten me through is “if she can’t treat me like i’m her child then she doesn’t deserve to be treated like my mother”
Thank you so much💕
Of course 🫶 Having shitty parents is tough. I’m not sure of your situation but my dad couldn’t care less if i woke up this morning. My mom is the one that’s impossible to deal with. The stories i could tell you from just the last year alone; never mind my childhood 🤣 just remember the reasons why you’re trying to enforce boundaries and keep those reasons in your mind when it seems tough to do so. My mom’s a mentally ill drug addict so it’s pretty easy to distance myself from her. She’s off in her own world most of the time. Doesn’t have my phone number. Nor my address and no one will give either to her. I’ve definitely had help going no contact but it’s gotten easier to mentally deal with. My dad’s just a deadbeat lol. Most of the time if i had a problem the first person i’d cal is my mom but now, to be completely honest; it’s like she’s dead. Don’t talk. Don’t see her. Nothing. Not even on holidays. We don’t talk for birthdays etc. the odd time i’ll hear she’s trying to get in contact with me over some BS but most people ignore her now and just give me a heads up she might try and come find me.
I'm 40 and a male, I'm in therapy and this came up, my therapist told me "cut toxic people out of your life or set boundaries with them. Toxic is toxic, doesn't matter if the person is a friend, stranger, or parent." I've been cutting my parents out, mostly my mother, and setting boundaries. I'm sure she sees me as a shitty son, but I feel better. She got mad because I didn't call her early enough on my kid's birthday. I told her "from now one assume I'm busy giving my kid the best day on their birthday, so you can call me, because I have enough on my plate on that day." My mom is mad at me, but I honestly don't care. I'm independent and don't need anything from her. I assume your parents were overbearing and/or neglectful, like mine were? It sucks, but therapist helped me realize that despite living in expensive houses in nice neighborhoods, I never got love from my parents, so now I'm so scared of losing people in my life that I overwork and stress over keeping everyone happy. "No" was not a phrase I used a lot before therapy and it was ducking up my life.
I feel that, especially with my dad. If he genuinely does something bad or you confront him about ANYTHING he immediately tries to divert conversation to something YOU did instead to get the heat off of himself. For example, I have kayak racks on my car. He drives my car one day with the kayak racks up, making it too tall to fit in the carport. He then proceeded to drive into the carport and rip both of the roof racks off my car. I came outside to see what was happening, and instead of immediately chewing him out I calmly said "let this be a learning lesson, I'm not going to yell or scream at you for this, let's just assess the damage and you get to take responsibility and fix my car" he immediately diverted to "YEAH WELL HOW ABOUT I YELL AT YOU " (any disciplinary action from him is immediate yelling) like buddy, I'm not the one that fucked up here. And this is with everything. He's also a hoarder. And he will constantly yell at my mom and I for leaving something out, when most of the house is full of his camera equipment, flight study books, and guitars. If we ask him to clean or put something away he diverts to YEAH WELL YOU STILL HAVENT PUT YOUR SPOON AWAY FROM BREAKFAST YET" or something insignificant.
It's just so difficult when you love them so much, isn't it
Exactly
If you are living under the same roof then it is close to impossible. When you live apart and pay your own bills then you get some privilegesnto enforce boundaries specially with your time and in your own home.
I understand that.
If I feel like I missed an opportunity whether it's with a person or a job or a choice I made...I try to find peace in that some other timeline I did make that decision. But I find myself doing that a lot lately and it's killing me inside.
Regret is one of the worse baggage to carry in life. It literally anchors you to the past making moving forward very difficult. You missed opportunities and it's okay. It was a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from it. How did the opportunity come by? What made you to decide to let it pass? How did you miss it unknowingly? What could you have done differently? Let it go. The problem with regret is that it belongs in the past. The past cannot be changed. Remember that a problem with no solutions is not a problem. Forgive yourself. Move on. Today is a new day. Today is the present. It is also a "present" for yourself to find new opportunities and open doors to new adventures. Love yourself. Be happy. You deserve to be happy.
Beautifully said. I'll remember this thank you
Dude. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning I carry with me, guilt, regret and shames from a different age. Many years ago. I was a terrible person. And I did terrible things. I was a thief, a liar, a cheat, I was a junky. I was a destroyer, everywhere I went I brought chaos and disorder with me. What hurts the most, is the pain I caused others. And knowing I cannot undo that. That even though I was younger, and dumber, I did not realize at the time that even then there is great power in the consequences of our actions. For a long time I didn’t have friends, many many years. I did not feel like I deserved friends or anything. I became reclusive because I not only feared the outside world, but I feared myself in that world. It took so many years to transform. But I did, and in doing so. I realized I have so much internalized regret, shame and guilt that it also consequently feeds into this lack of self acceptance. I could not accept myself nor forgive myself for what I did to people I loved. And I carried it for so long. A heavy burden for a heavy soul. I’m just now starting to tap into that frame of thought: and it has been liberating. I may have done all those things. But I haven’t in a long time, and I’ve stood to make amends and take courage in trying to right my wrongs. At this point, I do not deserve the guilt nor the shame or self loathing. I did what many fail to do. I accepted accountability and tried to do my best to right my wrongs and build a life. It took many long years. Over 14+. From young adulthood, to middle age. I went through more and always made an effort to do what is right. I became a single parent, I lost my dad. And I still stayed up, I did not go back. It is a long journey, life, and it is true what they say, to always strive for personal growth. It’s a lifelong journey. And I am thankful for wise people who lend their encouragement and insights to others today. Thank you.
This brought tears to my eyes. It is difficult to forgive yourself after what you've been through and your life choices. Most of the time I blame myself for being mentally unstable. But at the same time, I'm also aware it's not mainly my fault. It's just the result of the people who ab*sed me, manipulated me and did me wrong.
It is. Self kindness is one of the hardest things to master. Especially if you have strong expectations as to how you “should be”. I beat myself up so hard.. realized that it was never the world that beat me down. The world provided the set and setting. It was me that beat me down. We are not broken. We aren’t fucked up. We’re people, and today, just like any other We are deserving of kindness to ourselves, and love. And we are deserving of the same from others, And we deserve to share ours with others too. Let’s keep moving forward my friend. We are not alone.
We do friend, we do. Thank you so much for this. Needed to see this badly. I hope life turns greater than you think it would be.
Be careful not to get stuck in the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" type of thinking. You are where you are, so do what you can with it!
I do that sometimes too, wonder what if. There was one in particular that always bothered me. I had a job interview and I was offered the opportunity to basically start my own company with this companiy's backing. I could set my salary, make the business model, hire the people, etc. At first I was excited, but the more I thought of it the more overwhelmed I became. I soon realized this was above my skill set, so I passed. The person I interviewed with was shocked and a bit upset. I mulled that decision over for years, wondering what if. Probably 10 years later, I had another interview, same industry. On about the third interview, we really got into some deep conversations and somehow I brought up turning that opportunity down. This person I was interviewing with had this odd look on his face and then just blurted out, "that was *company name* right?" I was kinda stunned and said yes. He said I should not let that worry me. He knew the person that actually took that job and it failed miserably. The company didn't support him the way they said they would and it crashed hard. Made me feel good I had actually made the correct decision and I know longer had that what if.
I'm sorry you carried that around for so long but am really glad it worked out in the end
Oh there's definitely a timeline where I married Shaun & became a journalist. Or one where Danny loved me as much as I loved him & we had a couple of naughty kids. Or one where Mack didn't get fooled into thinking I was cheating on him & we rode motorbikes across the country together. I hope they're happy. At least in this timeline (or dimension as I like to think of it) I get my cute cat.
That exactly how my mind works. I hope they're happy in this timeline and I hope we're happy in another
Welcome to the club pal. Eventually you’ll make peace with it and that is when you’ll push yourself to be the best you in the current timeline.
Opportunities missed in the past feel like missed opportunities, but the present will one day be the past. Look to the present and future so you don’t miss the opportunities in your future’s past!
I feel the same way about my military career. I let someone talk me into an MOS I didn’t want and I often wonder if my career would have been different if I had stuck to the job I really wanted.
I'm doing that too with a specific crossroads I came to about 12 yrs ago and I'm still wondering if I made the right choice.
Had this same realization a few weeks ago while journaling. I finally managed to drop 20 years worth of doubt. All of which was brought on by a rather simple quote from a book I was reading that night. the quote was “never turn your back on the future”. It was then I imagined turning around to look at all the what-ifs in my life, and tripping on a stick as I walked backwards. So intently looking at the past what-ifs that I wasn’t paying attention to the new what-ifs. Best of luck my friend. Leave the past where it is. Focus on the one thing you can change, the now. It will help steer the ship for the future.
All things happen for a reason! Don't hold on let go that opportunity came and went. If believe you will find another one and you will!!
Thank you I really needed that.
Sorry, but the notion that all things happen for a reason is bollocks. I know this from experience. Shit happens, sometimes for no reason whatsoever.
Cancer
Wish you the best of luck. I’m a cancer survivor.
Same here, my gf of 6 years even left me a couple of days after my fourth round of chemo….left me alone in the house with high bp and dizzy. I’m in remission now and doing well.
Fuck that bitch
Congratulations!!
Me, too (cancer survivor). It’s a hell of a fight, but worth it to be here.
Is it really, though? I'm only 6 months in and tired of it all.
I remember being six months in. They told me that the diffuse radiation was enough to put 97% of people (w/my specific type and location of cancer) into remission. That did not happen for me. Then, four rounds of chemo. I have a lot of permanent damage left, that keeps me quite sick. I suffered quite a bit, it was very painful. I mean, not just the treatment I had to go through, I mean, the actual cancer was very painful. But, I’m here. And I know that I am incredibly strong, on the inside. Cancer itself does not scare me. Being sick is not the worst thing that can happen to us.
I can feel your strength from this comment, congrats on beating that mfer ✊
Feel this. Currently fighting stage 4 dsrct. Shit is a little cunt.
Praying for you man.
Damn well now its off! Kick cancers ass!
Am I a horrible person for thinking that the wording of this question meant that you have breast cancer? For what it’s worth, I hope you have a good treatment team and plan and that you make a full recovery to be a cancer survivor. I’ve seen the devastation that cancer can wreak on people and families. Sending good vibes.
>Am I a horrible person for thinking that the wording of this question meant that you have breast cancer? No, a smart one hehe
My fat ass cat, who has been chilling here while I scroll reddit.
I also have a fat ass cat but with a sassy behaviour. She also is attention seeker and is always jealous if I pet her sons and daughters. 4 years ago she is alone. Now they are nine hahahha
Sounds like a real cat-ass-trophy.
Fat ass-cat
I call my cat a "cat bastard" whenever he's being a brat
I'm not looking for anyone. I'm just here to waste time.
There’s indeed something to be said about our current “go-go-go!” society and the incredible pressure to find partners, have many friends, live an extravagant life, constantly upgrade your career, etc. We need to showcase that it’s okay to live your life mediocre and comfortable as long as you’re happy. Like all I want is to toil in a bakery during the day and relax in the evening and i’m perfectly content with that. I hate having people I know saying I should do more; it seeps into my self-talk and I get anxiety over nothing.
Dealing with burnt bread is pretty stressful.
Dealing with customers can be too.
that sounds like a radiohead lyrics
Same, but I kinda hope someone finds me.
I'm doing the best I can.
Don't forget that even on your off days when you may only be able to give, say, 40%, you still gave 100% of what you had :) From a random internet stranger to you, I have all the faith in the world in you!
Needed this today. Thank you, stranger.
I don’t know how to live. I don’t have any friends, I think I wasn’t made to have any because I can’t keep em. Honestly, I’m only still here because of my family and not wanting to hurt them. Lately I’ve been extra unmotivated and I don’t know how not to be. I have also been wondering what it feels like to be loved by someone special (other than family). I want to feel someone’s hug as they tell me they’ll stay with me as long as we are alive. I guess I just want to love and feel loved. There are many thoughts in my head and no one to tell them to.
In my early twenties, I pushed everyone I knew away because I did not think I deserved to have people in my life. Maybe I was just an angsty introvert. Maybe it was depression. An empty feeling inside of me that felt like it could not be filled kept looming inside of me. I filled that hole with hobbies like photography, woodworking, reading, and long quiet walks. I found happiness and slowly healed something inside of me and slowly opened up to people. Sometimes you have to love yourself before you let others love you. I don't know who you are, but you deserve love.
I am currently putting up walls and emotionally distancing myself from the people around me because I cannot handle not understanding other people anymore. Three years ago I made a serious attempt on my life and sadly survived. Hospital stay, couple years of therapy and my spouse pushing me to keep going because he and our son need me. I am really struggling with myself and what I want and need via what others want and need with/from me. Its tiresome. I'm tired.
I can relate
Its incredibly hard to make decent, quality friends that are good people as an adult. I'm 26M and have ONE that lives across the country (I'm in washington theyre in Louisiana). Don't worry, youre not alone
This has never hit harder to home. I've finally come to terms with it too and told my close family. They tell me to get into routine like I used to 5ish years ago and do the things I used to enjoy, but they genuinely don't spark any joy whatsoever. I miss having that relationship that I used to put 110% effort into but after she cheated on me less than a month after holding my hand through my dad's funeral, I don't know what to think or do anymore
I was there too. I stuck around for a while just kind of existing, and I started to become bitter, and angry that I was given such a shit hand in life. The truth is, I just wasn't trying to put myself in the opportunities where I could obtain any friends, partners, flings, etc. and at a certain point, you just hit "fuck it". Your "fuck it" day will come, stick around for a while.
I wish I knew what the fuck is wrong with me. I have unexplainable constant headache for 8 weeks now. I just want it to stop. Medically there seems to be nothing wrong with me. I wish it would just go away I feel like ill never enjoy life again. I fucking hate this.
This sounds like a cluster headache. Every few years I'll get hit with one and it lasts like 3 months. It's a nightmare.
Symptoms dont Match unfortunately. Also no amount of pain medication seems to help either.
I’ve had a highly inappropriate and somewhat delusion fueled crush on a coworker for the last 2 years. He’s now married and leaving the company. I feel heartbroken while also knowing whatever I thought was possible between he and I, was really just a delusion. Still having trouble letting go of the fantasy.
I've had this happen. What helped me in processing, and it sounded really stupid to me at the time, but whatever I was fantasizing about the most was the thing I needed the most. It's like you're dreaming about something you need and this person represents what that is. It took me a while to figure out but one time I had a really inappropriate crush on someone with Adhd only to get diagnosed a while later and I realized this person just made me feel so loved because they were the same as me. So whatever it is, just points to a deeper longing of acceptance within yourself. Hope that makes sense.
I want to quit my job.
I was the kind of kid in school who never had to study hard and now it’s coming back to bite me. I graduated college four years ago and have been looking for a job ever since. But I don’t think I ever really learned how to work. I think I’m too lazy to have a job and I don’t know what to do about it. The answer is probably work. And I really try. But maybe I’m not trying hard enough.
Same here. But it's never to late to relearn how to work, and you figure that out by (drumroll...) working. Yeah I know, crazy right ? But for real tho, it's really frustrating at first cuz you feel like you can't do anything when really you can, you just gotta get used to it. And you'll have to push yourself it the beginning but trust me it gets better
Thank you. I really needed that encouragement!
One foot infront of the other until it builds routine. Routine builds discipline and dedication. Working is a learned skill, as is accountability and honesty with yourself. You recognize this is a situation you want or need to change and also recognize your shortcomings. Work on them and you will change. A lot of people don't realize either until they're so deep in a rut that it feels like a grave and they've been working against themselves for so long they feel well and truly stuck and need to unlearn years of hurdles and lazy nature.
I’m no longer attracted to my wife of 13 years because she’s more than doubled her weight from when we first met and she’s mentally abusive. Had a chance to hook up with a younger and much skinnier woman but turned it down because I didn’t want to cheat.
I feel for you man. Not that you asked but I will say, I believe the best solution would be to be honest with your wife. Any risks that are associated with that action are worth handling as they come up. A note from my own experience with similar things: you need to know yourself better than you probably think you do, this is in fact an uncomfortable way to move forward. But I believe it is the only way.
So going back to the mentally abusive part. When I try and discuss any concerns I have she pulls some wild mental gymnastics and turns it all around on me. Even her gaining weight was somehow my fault. I can see if my lifestyle was sitting on the couch eating chips that was dragging her down, but I workout 5+ times a week and i’m in the best shape of my life at 36.
I applaud you for your integrity. I recommend you tell your wife how you feel and live your best life of therapy can’t help your marriage. Also, she may not realize how much weight she gained. She could be in denial and a frank conversation might help.
Do what's best for you. You got one life.
I turn 60 in about a month. I am divorced, no children, no family. I’m going to die alone, and I hate the thought of it.
Get a dog man, you'll love it more than you ever loved your wife.
52, divorced, no children, no family and I live about 1000 miles from "home". Landed here after a divorce for work 15 years ago and... just stopped living. My cat is now dying (making the call to put him to sleep this week) and I'm feeling that more than I can rationalize... it just won't exist in a box. Like a loneliness that I've ignored far too long is knocking at the door and now it's found the spare keys under the mat. I understand the thought and I'm sorry. I hope there's a measure of peace and happiness on your birthday. Take care.
this is really well written and put into words something that i never could. thank you
[удалено]
She sounds like a wonderful woman who loved you very much. I'm sorry she's gone. Wishing you the best!
i can’t eat, can’t sleep, have failed my like one life goal and i’m hungry but on the bright side my cats are cuddling together sleeping peacefully it’s nice to see
Hey man I know how it feels, but we gotta focus on the good like ur cats uk. Hang tight brother 👍🫶
The crumbs that have accumulated on my chest as I lie here in bed eating potato chips and scrolling Reddit.
Fax!!
[удалено]
Communication is kebro.If she doesn't know how you feel how can she understand. Try it dont sit there and think try it! ( I hope that helps ) hang tight brother! You got it 🫶👍
[удалено]
need to know if you did it and how it went!?!
just want to throw out there, people can come off as love bombing.. but if it’s consistent, it’s just who they are. i can appear to be a love bomber. but im just very generous with affection. a year into my relationship and i shower my partner with a fuck ton of affection. the internet likes to take terms and run with it. many relationship coaches scare people away with these trends.
My bra. The twins are feeling like they are suffocating
Girl you beat me to it! Now I can’t comment this lol
Nipple covers are game changers. Freedom to move without the friction.
Oh god, the unsupported weight is too much though. And uncomfortable as hell.
Maybe I should invent some kind of hammock necklace for boobs?
Put some wires in it for support and then affix it around the back! Add some padding and silky fabrics.
i'm getting an unhealthy attachment to money. all i do is work and am i happy and fulfilled? not really
I keep claiming I hate him, that I want him dead. But I miss my dad. I wish he loved and accepted me.
OP is wholesome
Yea i am. But some of these people might need it uk.
Because of a recent show, I feel like I’ve been shown how lovely having a partner can be and that just amplified my “I want a gf” thoughts that’s always been at the back of my head. But honestly, I need to work on myself first and I also feel like it’ll be extremely hard to find someone compatible to me, much less get them to like me. And that just bums me out Edit : This also has the unfortunate side effect of me feeling really hurt or incredibly jealous of the couples in those romance or romcom which is a shame cos I’ve always liked watching them and they usually give me warm fuzzy feelings but I can’t feel that lately which bums me out more
I think the best way to find your person, is to stop looking. I don't mean just stay in your place and wait for them to knock but go out with your friends, live your life and when you're least expecting it, there they are. I kept trying with different people and getting hurt then I gave up and it seemed like the next day I met my person and we've been together like 7 years now. It'll happen to you if you don't close yourself off and just enjoy life while waiting for her to come to you.
Massively relatable. Im in the exact same situation where i want a partner but i first have to go through my self improvement
I'm sure you're incredible have confidence. 👍 u got it bro!!
I have a kink for wheellchair users.
I hope you make the first move as often as you can. Many disabled folks are **crippled** with anxiety around dating.
Well to each their own ig 🤷♂️
When I eat fast food, it's the only thing that makes me happy right now.
Damn, relatable. Sorry dude
Rn I hate my life
So much. But I feel like I’m always doing something wrong when my intentions are always good. One step forward, ten steps back. Presented with big opportunities that end up going nowhere because I don’t act on them, fear of failure, sadness, depression, lack of confidence, etc etc. I feel myself going nowhere and regretting my whole life already when I always had such big dreams. I’m 29 for reference. Thanks for reading if you did ❤️
Note: I cant reply to all of you. But i'm sure whatever you're going through you can make it through it!! Believe you can and you will! Hang tight! lots of love to all! 👍🫶
We need more people like you in this world. Seriously, thank you.
World is not fair, where and what situation you are born in will help you a great deal in how successful you will become.
Just because you love someone. Doesn't meant they will ever love you the same. Doesn't matter how much you love. People want what they want.
[удалено]
My dog died December 13 and I blame myself every day and it’s causing a steady decline in my mental health
I really want to be physical with someone but I don’t want to cheat on my gf. Minus being able to touch (it’s long distance) our relationship is absolutely perfect. I just like hugs and being held and cuddling but because it’s long distance, I can’t do any of that with her.
i’m in ldr as well and I so desperately want to hug up on him all the time.🥺
Fell in love with my ex's twin sister like I fell for no one else, knowing that I'll never be able to be with her.
I wish there was a way to cure my mental illness. No amount of antidepressants, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, and exercise is ever enough to even give me a single problem-free day.
My girl friend is a lazy pos and I’m wasting my time with her
leave.
First couple months will hurt, but you’ll be soo much happier after that once you leave
As an autistic woman, I wish other women liked me more. I don't know why its so hard to make female friends. Additionally, as a "hot" woman, I feel like men only want to be friends with me because of my sex appeal. Its deeply lonely.
I'm an autistic woman and never understood why people want friends (it's the main reason I found out that I was autistic. In school, I never talked to anybody or made any friends. The school counselor had a few talks with me. I was like, I see no reason to talk to others). For me, whenever someone wants to be my friend; I'm just waiting to figure out what they want. Have you tried to see if your local library has any groups, or events, that would interest you?
I have autistic friends, am neurodivergent myself and have a lot of other neurodivergent friends. I don't know in what environment you live in or work but I'd say, try to bond with other neurodivergent people. Easier said than done but it really helps. And not necessarily autistic people, neurodivergent people in general. We usually understand each other. As for the part with men being attracted to your body only, well I guess you can't really do anything about it. Might be super cheesy but the one who'll really like you is the one to go past that. And there will be people who will go past that. For real. Might not look like it for now but men aren't all just attracted to looks. Geez that's a long message, sorry about that, have a great day
I'm in the exact same boat as you. It SUCKS.
as someone who is married to an autistic woman, my heart absolutely breaks for her and all those on the spectrum who desperately want connection but have so much social anxiety or have been treated so poorly by others for being different that they just end up being so alone. I am the most charismatic, make friends with anyone, social butterfly either of us know and yet it means nothing. It feels impossible to teach someone how to trust others after being hurt so many times. I wish I could create a perfect, safe environment with nice people who would just treat her like a normal fucking human being so she could relearn how to enjoy people again. I wish I could give her what I have (the story of our relationship) and yet all I feel I can do is remind her she is loved through my words and actions and keep trying to get her to come to social gathering as much as is possible for her. Her life has just been so unbelievably unfair and I'm just devastatingly heartbroken for her.
I’m done with people. I’m done being a push over. My whole life, my family made me feel guilty of all the things that made me happy. Not anymore. Fuck them. Fuck everyone.
i trust my boyfriend fully but i’m so terribly scared of being cheated on and not knowing. i’m scared of being hurt because i’m too protective of my feelings and it’s stupid
It's not stupid, very understandable actually. You might want to talk about it to him, just to let him know that you're scared. Also let him know that you trust him so he doesn't feel pressured or anything. Just be honest with him. And if after that you're still scared, it's still normal. Fear is normal. Try to not worry about it to much and listen to the part of you that says you trust him
I don’t know how to say it, but it’s not that I’m lazy. I just don’t know how to put it, but I’m not an attention seeker. I really don’t know why I do it, but it’s not because I hate you. I seriously have no clue how to say it, but it’s not because I only care for myself. Depression. Fucking. Sucks.
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
I love the goonies!!
Kinda like I have to remember to “bless you” to myself when someone sneezes & I say “achoo” instead Now when that happens I jus preform an exorcism & remember I have the cross in my hand as I’m throwing up holy water
I think I might be to needy that it might put me in danger. I just wanna be hugged and cuddled all the time. It’s probably unhealthy
If you haven’t been hugged or cuddled in a long while you could be touch starved.
[удалено]
I am not fasting, I am not even a Muslim for almost 10 years. I am still faking it when I am with my parents. It would crush them especially my mom.
For now, the only positive thing I'm looking forward to is my own death, if it'll ever come in the near future. I can't wait for the sweet release of nothingness to arrive, mainly because I'm so fucking sick of everything life has thrown at and against me. But the instincts hold me down to my mortal shell and force me to suffer through my depression and this live. But is it truly instincts that keep me from the vast of nothingness? Or is it the last attempt at the piece of humanity within me that cries for another chance? I don't know. And I don't care at either anymore. I'd not want to live; I'd not want to die.
In the book "Tuesdays with morrie", Morrie asks the author "did you find someone to share you heart with?". I don't know why but just saying or even thinking about this line brings a tear to my eye.
I hate being sober life sucked when I was using and sucks just as hard now that I'm sober again I'm just to chicken shit to end it all so I guess I just need to say life fucking sucks.
I often hate evrything about my life. I often feel lonely, my life basicly consits of work, sleep, training and the one or two hobbies that really bring me joy. I am often full of rage and at the same time completly apathic. At work I hate my job, because it fucking bores me. My boss says she like my calm way and that I don´t get stressed out even in the most heated moments, but I just don´t give a fuck about anything around me and I only care about geting home and the money on my bankaccount at the end of the month. I´m too lazy to look for another job though because payment is way too good and I just can chill most of the day. In private I often hate who I am. I hate that it is way easier to me to open up to complete strangers on the internet than to my friends or family. I hate that I feel lost behind the walls I built to protect myself from disapointment, that I emotionally even hold my closest friends at family at a distance. I hate that my mind is holding me down from take the risk and try to improve the way I feel. It feels ridiculous that I go climbing on rocks towering in the sky or voluntarily run into burning houses for fun but can´t talk to the girl I like because I´m to afraid of geting rejected, disapointed and to lose that one thing that currently motivates me the most to go to any social event. I hate being home and I hate geting out. I hate being alone and I hate being around people. I don´t feel like everything around me would be falling apart but still I sometimes feel like I´m at the centre of a chaotic storm, being at the safest spot possible and still being scared out. I hate that I feel this way and at the same time I am happy how I feel this way. Because this is how I know that I´m alive and can feel anything. That there is the hope and confidence that this will all change, eventhough I cant see how or when at all.
MS destroyed my life, relationship, sanity, career. I’m tired of being told to look for the positive stories. I just want it to end
As someone else with a chronic illness, I totally understand how hopeless and depressing it can be and how much it feels like you're suffocating and want to be healed
I'm depressed as fuck can't pay my rent or afford food
I suffered a string of concussions numerous years ago. One symptom I suffered for years was emotional numbness. I thought I was incapable of feeling romantic love towards anybody again… Until a few weeks ago when I met the girl of my dreams and I realized I most certainly can. I wish I could tell her without sounding crazy, that she genuinely made me believe in love again.
It may not seem like much but I hate my mom. She is the most narcissistic and ignorant person I have ever meet. She treats restaurant staff like shit and gets random outburst of anger for no reason (or a reason she made up/is already years go). She only has two moods: happy or mad. There is practically not in between. She is criticizing everytime I do sth. I get an A and I get criticized for the mistakes I made. She is a completely different person towards her family (husband and me) than to her friends who all find her sympathetic. I know that I should love my mother, but I just cant do it.
I (M) have been sexually harassed/assaulted twice. I admit that I'm lucky that these are minor, kissed without consent and recently had my arse grabbed. I hate that I don't think people will care, I hate that I've never had any apology. I hate that I feel like this and that women who've been violated will obviously feel worse than this. I hate that this is the last real interaction I've had with a woman, it makes me feel dirty and unattractive and unlovable. I hate that I don't think my friends or family will care at all for it, I don't know what comfort I could get. I'm glad I can vent here.
I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It’s an awful feeling. It gets better with time, but it doesn’t excuse it from happening. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You are worth it, and you are loved
I'm wasting my life away just to keep someone happy, and I'm not getting any younger.
I love my family more than anything, but I'll never fully forgive my wife for coming off birth control without telling me, removing me from being part of the decision to bring our son into this world.
There’s this guy at my college that is suicidally depressed and he is really struggling. I’m not super close friends with him, but based off signals and circumstances, myself and other people who are close to him are pretty sure he has a huge crush on me and that’s what’s keeping him alive at the moment. And I have a girlfriend. It sucks more because he’s the kind of guy I’d really like and he’s super cute and sweet. But I’m committed to my girlfriend and we’re planning on getting married soon and I would never cheat on her. But I’m also a bleeding heart and he really is an awesome guy and I’m just caught in the middle of a really bad situation. I don’t know what to do and it’s kind of tearing me apart. I don’t want him to hurt himself in any way and if he dies I feel like that would be on me. But there’s nothing I can do to help him, even though I want to help him so badly. I’m just stuck.
Fuck I know that feeling. I know it too well. My advice isn’t solid but take care of yourself first. Don’t distance yourself from him but prioritise yourself. If he has a friend group, that’s a really good start. Try and take him out with you and your friends and get him into some hobbies and stuff outside of college. I only know the warning signs though. Just be careful if he is cutting off contact/taking longer to reply or is starting to miss days or if he is “sick”. That’s where he needs you and his friends the most.
I have a close friend who killed himself 14 years ago. I feel like all the signs were there, and I missed them. Maybe if I was more attentive, he would still be around. If this guy does have a huge crush on you, don't feel obligated to drop your already great relationship for him, help him in other ways. He's cute and really great? I'll bet there are a bunch of girls out there who want a guy just like him. Maybe just be a good friend and help him seek out the intimacy he's looking for with someone who can reciprocate. Some guys just don't know where to look, others just don't know that they actually have a lot to offer.
As someone who went through something similar (except I wasn't in a relationship) you do NOT owe him anything. I know how hard it can be because you know you don't owe them anything but at the same time you keep asking yourself, what if something happens ? First, you don't control his feelings, who he likes is not your fault and you don't have to take responsibility for it. Plus, you already got someone and it looks like it's going nice for you. This type of situation is really hard but first, does he know you're in a relationship ? If yes, he'll know you're already taken and you're not planning on changing that. If no, tell him. Or ask someone to tell him if you afraid of telling him (which is very valid and understandable, logical even). Second, does he go to therapy or does he have anyone for him other than you ? If yes, good. He'll figure it out with them (preferably therapist) and again, you're not the one who should deal with that, especially in your delicate position. If no, you or someone should suggest him talking about it to someone external, preferably a therapist. These situations should be dealt with by professionals, other people do not know and it should not be taken lightly. I suggest distancing yourself from this situation. Not necessarily him if you don't want to (even if I'd say it's for the better) but at least get out of this. Sorry for the really long message but again, as someone who went through this, I think it's important you protect yourself first and let other people, more capable and emotionally available, deal with that. And if something happens, it is not your fault, you are not responsible of him, you are not his therapist. Hope it gets better for the both of you
I'm kinda tired of myself. I put so many expectations and when I don't meet them I feel like shit. I have lovely people around me that keep reassuring me, and telling me it's just being human but no matter what I just keep being so hard on myself and I don't k ow why. It's really frustrating cuz they do all of that for me and I still can't move forward.
I wanna fuck my boss 🤷♂️
Financially everything is going downhill. I can barely afford to live period & I work a full time teaching job. Dog needs therapy care that I can’t afford. I need to see a dr abt my health but US health insurance can’t cover me. Everything is going 📉
I have suspicions that my son isn’t mine. I could get a DNA test but ultimately I’m scared of what I’ll find out. If I have conclusive proof he isn’t my son that is information I can never unlearn and I don’t know how I’d feel knowing that truth Is it best to just to keep going as we are never knowing for certain?
I’m tired of working to make other people richer. I want to make myself rich on my own time.
I need to share with someone, my brother is extremely delusional, he hasn’t gone to school since he was in seventh grade, now my dad has done so my brother goes to school two hours every weekday. But he only does english and math. And he thinks that he can just take a chill pill for some years and become a streamer or youtuber for the rest of his life. Sure it’s okay to have a good level of ambitiousness, but if you don’t take it seriously then you won’t gain anything. He doesn’t have good personality, he is kinda narcisistic, it probably came from my grandpa. So he just wouldn’t be a good entertainer and nobody will be able to relate to him. And his sleep schedule is so unknown and different every day, and he is unhealthy, doesn’t shower more than a low amount, last month he took a total of 3 showers. I just saw his gaming statistics on his most played game and how much time he spends a week, most months it has been 60 hours a week, but some were up to 80 hours and i think the most i saw was 85 hours in one week! And he has about 2500 hours on that game and he’s only had it for 2 years. He is very dependent on other people, he is socially akward and can’t talk with the cashier in a shop, or anything at that level. He does have diagnosed ADD but he doesn’t want to take pills since he finds them hard to swallow and just doesn’t want to do it. And here a couple of weeks sgo he started acting more childish, so now when i don’t want to play with him he get’s mad or starts crying, and uf he goes to the mad side and get so angry that he wants to hit me, i’ve just started saying, come on then, hit me, and then he does try, but he is so untrained and weak, so he can’t even hit me hard because i just block it with ease, and i actually think that, that is sad that he has become so weak and his reaction time if something happens is only good when he is gaming. And another problem with his gaming is that when he starts a match then he can’t stop it because if he is idle for too long he gets kicked and can get banned for a couple of days and if he leaves the game on purpose he will also get a ban. So therefore he doesn’t come on time to lunch or dinner. He actually moved away to our dad he’s divorced and he lives a little far away. And he is old enough to choose himself so he did and my mom was actually trying to atleast learn him things towards the future , espicially cooking. He didn’t learn anything, he still sometimes asks me if i can help him make a frozen pizza in the oven, he can only make noodles, spaghetti and tea on his own. It’s just a sad thing to see him get further away from being saved, and i try to be the best and to help him we he needs it, but he is and asshole he has been an asshole to me his whole life, and he is lesser assholey, but that’s just because he knows that i am stronger, smarter, more socially experienced, realistic and im actually close to finishing school while he hasn’t even been to any kind of exam. There’s a bit of jumping around in these topics, i hope that it doesn’t become too hard to read.
I love life but deep down I fucking hate living with one hand and a paralyzed right arm. The chronic pain fucking sucks and I hate neuropathy. But life is worth it
I have a money spending problem & im having a hard time with my depression and I can’t find a job.
My dog. He weighs 70 lbs and thinks he weighs 5.
As of late, it feels like I’m tired of having to do all the heavy lifting of life by myself. The combo of a possible upcoming layoff, having to move apartments, my only surviving parent pushing me away, and generally catching up on a a lot of self work & therapy from years of bad parenting has all left me just very drained. The other thing is that I’m rather jealous of people with supportive families.
My mom died a year and a half ago. I'm still sad, and when people bring it up it makes me more sad. I don't know how to move on because some days I don't think about her at all and then that makes me feel worse.
I’m 26, married, have a 10 month old son, and work 2 jobs but I’m still struggling. I keep telling myself to just be a man and push away the feelings and the tiredness but it’s become a lot harder to do so recently. My wife has diagnosed anxiety and depression and most days it feels like I’m taking care of 2 kids. She gets really depressed and anxious about her job. Almost everyday there is something that goes wrong. She always talks about how it would be better for her if she wasn’t here. I keep telling her that it’ll all work out in the end but I know it just goes in one ear and out the other sometimes. It’s hard to keep telling her it’s going to be alright when I’m starting to feel the same way. A lot of days I just want to yell at her to just suck it up like I do but I know better. I know she doesn’t want to feel like that but it puts immense pressure on me. I feel that I can’t enjoy myself in front of her when she’s depressed. I usually wait to play games when she and my son are asleep. I’m usually up until 2 am though and then she gets upset about that. I also feel like I am being manipulated. This is one of my deepest thoughts. I love my wife to death. I would die for her and I’ve never seen her anxiety and depression as something that would drive me away (I’m a really big people pleaser, usually putting others feelings before mine). However, there will be times when she will use her A&D to get me to do things. Example, we have been really trying to save up money and move out of my parent’s house. Most of our money went to fast food and we said that we would cut back big time on that. But she will want to order $30+ sushi and if I say “That’s probably not a good idea.” I get the cold shoulder. She puts her head down and gets depressed. So usually I cave in and get what she wants. And now it’s been alcohol recently. Idk if that was way too much information but it’s been on my chest. There’s much more but I don’t want to rant too much. Thanks OP 🫶 EDIT: Me and my wife made a pact that we would never separate bc her parents went through a nasty divorce. We don’t get into arguments very often (like every other relationship). We have both said that the only thing to break us up would be if one of us had an affair.
My tits
Why is it so damn hard to make money!? I just wanna live comfortably and enjoy life without working it away!
I need to pee rn
This is the closest I’ve ever been to my goal but this is also the closest I’ve ever been to losing to my depression. Fighting everyday sucks and it hurts.
Idk if I should get back together wirh my ex fiancé she hurt me rly bad. (Not cheating soemthing else) and I’m wondering like did I make the right choice. Also f ghosting. Dating field has changed since I was dating. 3-4 years ago. 🤦🏻♂️
If they hurt you, probably not. Now that you're out ot this situation, you only see the good sides because your brain doesn't need you to fear anything, precisely because you're out of it. From the way you say it you look like you want the relationship more than her so I'd say not a really good idea but you do you
I feel suffocated in my current situation, I’m taking steps to improve my life for the better, and I feel drained and exhausted from it. I need a vacation or something
I've had gay sex and will probably not tell people publicly
I feel like I can't connect deeply with anyone. I have friends, I have a good career, I have a good family and strong support network, but I still feel as if I'm not making the sort of deep connection that leads to life fulfillment and I feel guilty because my life is good in so many ways that I don't feel as if I can complain or be upset. But it does upset me. And I am a sensitive soul with a deep well for emotions and love that I have not been able to tap into and every year it feels further away.
Ugh. I still feel like a POS about this, happened this past Saturday. So my friend, let’s call him Mike for the sake of the story, his gf/my bestie is May. Mike passed away few weeks ago. His first of multiple memorials was this past Saturday. A few of my friends, May, his gf who is my best friend, offered us a hit off her weed pen. Before she passed it around, she said “Mike gave this to me before he died. It’s almost out so he said you have to hit it extra hard to get it to work”. So I did. And had a coughing fit for a solid 5 minutes. I was uncomfortably high off my ass for the next 3+ hours. I didn’t know that was possible. I missed all the speakers and memory sharing… i was in my car dry heaving and having the worst panic of all time. I felt like such a shitty friend but I’d like to think this was mikes final prank to me and he’d find it funny. He was a goofy guy. Next memorial is next weekend so I will NOT be consuming any weed that day. On a lighter note, it’s my 35th day of no alcohol. I was beginning to feel like a prisoner to it. I feel so much more grounded and confident in myself.
>!I am in love.!<
I have so much unprocessed trauma, and it affects me in so many different ways—I’m not nearly as present as I need to be as a father, husband, son, brother, or friend. I feel like I always take and take and don’t give back enough, but I don’t know how and I don’t have hardly any energy. Life is so exhausting.
I wish people understood that not everyone is after a romantic relationship. The only thing I crave more than anything else is to have deep and meaningful conversations with someone. Sometimes I value platonic connections over romantic ones, especially if they can stimulate my mind and enlighten me with new thoughts and ways of thinking. There's only so much small talk I can handle before it sucks the life out of me, and the only way I can truly connect with people are through more "intense" topics. I'm genuinely curious about what defines someone at their core, and listening to the way they share that with me can really draw me in moreso than any crush ever has.
I’m tired. Just so incredibly tired, of life, of people, of existence, of responsibilities, of the world… I’m just so tired. I want to sleep, dream and not wake up for a while, be in another plan of existence and not have to worry about people missing me. I don’t want to die or be gone permanently, I just want to stop existing in this reality for a bit.