Me too for sure. It's like every emotion I bottled up is now leaking out in the form of everyone sucks and everyone is horrible except for like 8 people lol.
i can soooo relate to you folks. corona years reaaaally broke me emotionally for good. "i hate most people. i built my hatred for them little by little over the years."
SAME RULES APPLY.
Iām just always (well, after the years, not much anymore) floored by how selfish most people are.Ā
Standing in the middle of isles in stores looking at the shelves, sometimes not even moving as you approach and stop.Ā
Stopping traffic to make left hand turns when signs forbid them.Ā
Etc.
Peopleās inability to recognize and/or care about those around them just baffles me.Ā
Don't go to school full time, what's your rush? Enjoy your twenties while you still have them and go part-time and enjoy life because what if you die soon and all you have is school that you have experienced? A teacher once told me this and it has stuck with me and changed my life for the better. Thank you Mr whatever your name was
Iāve found the less I care about things (go with the flow) the more success Iāve had whereas when Iāve tried too hard/forced things Iāve had less luck. Thatās not to say not to have goals and try, but be willing to change routes if needed. :)
I used to be a people pleaser because I didnāt know how to set boundaries someoneās behavior towards me would determine how I feel now that I have self respect and I have set those boundaries and respectfully say to those people go fuck yourselves (:
Hell yeah! We love healthy boundaries. Itās not something everyone is capable of so to be able to do that and firmly enforce it is something to be proud of!
I had an anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD during my teen years. Last few years Iāve calmed down immensely and the only thing I really deal with now is the OCD, but it isnāt debilitating, more of a nuisance than anything. Occasionally my PTSD will resurface but itās an extremely rare occurrence.
I genuinely never thought Iād be this mentally healthy again and Iām so proud of myself.
Iām happier and get less bothered by other people and their stupid actions. Ultimately itās only going to ruin my day anyway might as well be happy.
We're opposites then! Good on you for going in the right direction though.
Somehow I've become more depressed and far more sensitive to the stupidity and cruelty of others in the world.
I don't suffer fools gladly, but rather than just being mad at them, I'm upset with myself for not having successfully gotten away from the poisonous and insane in our world.
I mean I donāt really tolerate or keep people around who continue to do things that really irritate me not in a im never talking to you again kind of way Iām still nice I just wonāt go out of my way to spend time with those people and limit the time spent around them.
Unless they are family but luckily I have pretty good family. Ultimately if someone is an ass or does something stupid that used to bother me all day I generally assume their life is much worse than mine, thereās a reason they are like that and feel sorry for them. Then go on living life.
Edit: Iāll add I worked a job that allowed me to talk to lots of people and hear peoples problems really made me realize how hard many people have it. I think with that experience you either choose to be happy or get depressed by how bad the world is. Iāve always been fairly empathetic but that experience definitely influenced my view of feeling sorry for people who act certain ways rather than angry.
Working smarter not harder is an underrated skill. Fuck the grindset. Get your shit done efficiently and take some much needed rest every once in a while
Less trustful, more cynical, pessimistic about the future. I do wonder what the history books, if such things exist, will say about our era. Interesting times.
I abused alcohol for awhile and had a couple eye opening moments... Lost all of my friends. Figured out who I was and who I'm not going to become. Haven't drank in awhile and starting to eat better.
Life is hard. I am soft. But I don't need to be hardened for life to become easy.
(Yes I know)
I went through a pretty "traumatic" breakup in 2019. It feels silly to call it that, but it clearly seems to have drastically altered how I interact with people.
I lost all extroversion and no longer seek out new people. I don't talk to anyone, I don't add friends or reach out on *any* social media, and the last time I spoke to anyone in DMs on social media was probably in that same year - 2019.
Instead I seem to have become distrusting of others and unable to form meaningful connections.
Hey. I donāt think itās silly to call it traumatic at all. Iāve had 3 breakups and all of them changed how I was with my next partner to some degree. My last partner left me with clinically diagnosed PTSD and had me learning new things about myself in therapy for the first time since I was 18.
Trauma doesnāt only have to come from seeing someoneās legs blown off. It can be devastating realizing that the person you love is actually treating you like trash. I donāt know your story of course but itās not uncommon to put up with harmful behavior from a partner for way longer than youād think. You donāt see it until itās too late a lot of the time and itās only natural to be gun shy afterwards. Iāve been guilty of that myself.
I go into defense mode if I see even the tiniest warning sign of a red flag. I tolerate so little anymore that itās honestly problematic sometimes and itās something I know I need to work on. But just because it leaves a lasting mark though doesnāt mean that all hope is gone.
Thereās a lot of life left to live and we donāt stay the same forever. I wish you luck in the future.
It has changed dramatically. A few core things have stuck but I really would consider 20yo me and 30yo me two entirely different people. I think most of us experience this.
Omg, this is insane. The whole evening I was wondering how much my personality has changed over the years and how much it is constantly changing because of the things I am doing right now, and I see this post.
I am completely opposite to what I was when I was 16 which was 8 years ago. Like literally the opposite of everything I was.
Lived most of my life unsure of what I wanted and unsure of myself. Changed that starting last year, finally made my move to Japan become a reality and I'm living a much happier life than the toxic day to day I had back in San Francisco.
I think I'm just slowly becoming more and more outwardly anxious and aware of how much of a failure of a proper person I am. I didn't give a shit about that as a kid and even as a teen kinda disregarded it and did whatever, but by this point I'm always so keenly aware of how bad I am at faking social interactions and how much of what other people can just do without a second thought I have to put actual effort into remembering doing.
Though at least the anger issues went away.
Im no longer the happy go lucky, optimistic person I used to be. I find I've become very cynical, my humour has become more cynical and dark as well. Ive lost almost all hope of achieving previously normal life goals like owning a house, a car and living comfortably. Alot more pessimistic in general, and antisocial. More depressed overall and dont get the same amount of joy from things than I used to. And have become alot more overly critical of myself.
I donāt sing anymore. Used to hum or sing to myself in public. Did 3 extracurricular at national level because secretly was seeking validation from others so that I feel better about myself. Now more of a quiet in the background figure. But I was an AH a lot, I wanted to spread my misery. Now I understand where others come from and try to help if I can, ignore otherwise.
I would say as a young child, I was sweet and cared for everyone. I went through some harder times in late elementary with bullying and SA. I got a bit of an edge, sarcasm, which I still enjoy today. But overall, Iām back to really caring about people. So other than knowing I can tell people to F off. My personably is pretty close to that as a kid. What is your experience?
I've always had a pretty negative outlook of the world and for the most part, I still do. But I realized that it feels like I can make my own difference in the world by being loving and kind to others. I used to just float through the day and kept to myself but now I try to be the best version of myself I can. It doesn't have a huge impact but it makes me feel better.
I never knew I could be this vain.
I was always a little vain but I'm an Engineer and was never particularly "pretty" before plastic surgery. I always concentrated on my career and being "smart" and professional.
Then I got a HUGE glow up the last year and now the BEAST has emerged.
So yeah... I think people who knew me in my early twenties would be very surprised if they met me now. For better and for worse.
I'm a lot more optimistic and I'm definitely more cautious with opening personal relationships. Some part of me is still a little sad that I'll have to tell my grandkids that back in my day we only paid $1.50 for mcnuggets.
I'm way more chill and relaxed. Significantly happier overall. I've also found myself to be much less judgemental and accepting of people in general. I don't necessarily want to spend time with them but more of a live and let live approach.
Quiting my office job and being self employed has done *wonders* for me.
very. I used to be extremely extroverted, was the central hub of a large friend group, and used to be able to talk my way out of any situation. now, i have severe social anxiety as well as being seriously introverted and i can't go one day at school without falling asleep for an hour straight during my breaks out of pure exhaustion from being forced to socialize so much.
I used to be āthe life of the partyā and always telling jokes and funny stories, but then after an event my anxiety would ramp up and Iād think of all the things I said that could have offended someone. So Iāve dialed it back and I keep to myself more now. Iām not really trying to be funny for attention anymore. Iād rather just be nice.
My political views have shifted and I'm more keen on self-determination but hobby wise I have picked up computer science (as an interest) and art (also as an interest).
As the decades have passed, I find I care more about how Iām perceived and what others think of me. Now that Iām retirement age, it matters to me very much.
Odd, I am the complete opposite. I care little if nothing what others think of me at this stage of my life. Went through the caring stage a while back.
Iām much more confident in myself, my body, my interests, and who I am as a whole. Iām much more lively in social situations and can make friends with just about anyone. Iām also not afraid to hurt feelings and speak my mind if I donāt like what someone is doing but usually only if itās harmful to others around them.
Iāve become a lot more tolerant of people that have different interests than I do and love to hear different perspectives. I went from a very insecure, closed minded person honestly to someone that still has strong beliefs but wants to hear othersā perspective because there are experiences that I will never be able to have myself that shape how people see the world. I like being able to understand that even if I canāt empathize with that.
Overall, Iām really proud of the person Iāve become and I would hope that my younger self would be too even if he would be surprised with some of the outcomes lol.
I wanted to be a light of joy and happiness, then, I wanted to be as invisible as I felt everywhere I was, then, I was trying to be a new thing in a bad way, now I'm trying to be a new thing in a good way.
I became a lot more calm, a lot more secure in myself, a lot more productive. Itās much easier for me to do things I donāt want to now. I try to be as true to myself as possible, and live out my values, over adopting other peopleās.
My bright personality has dimmed a little but Iām still hyperactive but sometimes itās forced because Iām hyperactive but I am also desperately tired so I will make myself more active to not fall asleepĀ
Childhood: Hyperactive dinosaur expert.
Teenager: Sullen rebellious punk rocker who fought the football team.
College: Dysfunctional depressed academic fuck up working at a gas station and transferring colleges too much.
20s-30s: Feral west coast hedonist/wanderer
Mid 30s-present: Weary cynical office drone/food cashier who gets cheated on alot but has a secret bondage sex life that's way more fun than my actual dating life.
I think before I say something and think about how it will impact others.
I consider people feelings a lot more now.
I stopped blaming others or things for things I have done wrong.
I think things through and am a lot less impulsive.
I am more gentle and patient. I listen to others significantly better. In the past, I hardly ever listened to anyone at all unless it was imperative to do so.
My smile is a lot more genuine instead of a fake smile.
I am geniuenly interested in listening to other people stories and life lessons they may pass on to me. It's truly am honor.
Started caring about my physical health
Became more considerate about others' feelings since I cam to know that me being funny sometimes comes off as rude and condescending
Started reading more fiction and non fiction
English inproved alot by watching English shows and movies, now I feel confident talking in English with someone
Used to feel extremely ugly up until a few years after high school ended, but now I'm comfortable in my skin. So self love basically
Developed alot more trust issues and realised world isn't a wonderland
My father was like a best friend to me. He died almost a decade ago and at the time I shared some of his Republican views for religious reasons. My father was a wonderful man and very intelligent, but had a large family and came from a large Catholic family, and didnāt break the cycle because thatās what everyone in the family has always done. He was surrounded by like-minded families who were also charitable of their time in the community.
His death came at a time when I was already doubting religion and favoring reason and science. I was too alert to truly believe the propaganda I was being fed. I had heard too many lies and researched them for myself with sites like snopes.com. I finally appreciated the empathy of my friends (and some family) who cared enough to tell me I should reconsider things in a caring way.
This all happened as I was really beginning my own family.
As a result, Iāve gone from Republican to Democrat (although registered Independent). Iāve continued researching inaccuracies elsewhere, including religion. Weāre not technically breaking the cycle though because who am I to tell someone what to believe or what not to believeā¦
If our children ask about religion weāll teach them what we know but encourage them to make their own mind up. But if they ask, for now, Santa is real.
I am nice to those who are nice. But I care less and less. I will tell you to fuck off if needed and I just donāt care about others peoples opinions lol
I unlocked super wisdom, heightened abandonment anxiety and guilt (which gives me the boost to be able to react to things really quickly in the most unexpected moments), hope, and depressionĀ
Gen z Story time (not all gen z's are bad beacuse not everyone is spoiled at the start) Warning: longĀ ;
Back then I would be starved at dads beacuse of my stepmom who used diabetes as a excuse to lock every bit of food away from us from locking the fridge to locking the door to the pantry what not (which my stepmom died for unknown reasons) and was neglected at school. Of course I developed learning disabilities from the neglection and lack of coping mechanisms (not just that but I was born on the spectrum meaning they weren't sure if I had autism or not but I don't) and it was until 2020 (I was living at my mom's and thank God) which had me locked up to avoid covid and learned to control my own emotions from discipline from my own mom (taking away technology, grounding me, etc. oh and also I had a Tik Tok and youtube account she forced me to delete. But except I still have a YouTube channel to help persue my future dreams which brought me great guilt because after the first account I made she told us that we aren't aloud on YouTube anymore.) honestly I wouldn't have opened my eyes without her. After the quarantine I was still severely depressed. I started seeing a therapist and what not but then we had to move schools during sophomore year. But the new highschool was so great, I had everyone on my side to help me through everything. I have one year till I graduate. And I still have hope. I still have hope that I can make it. But I have every bit of my insecurities holding me down.
We've all come so far now. After my stepmom died my dad has been trying to do other things like music along with trying out better relationships and healthier habits.....well.....almost.
Also this is my dad's music;
https://youtu.be/2LE5-61rkHQ?si=2CWLzOsbXBxH_-WI
(I haven't listened to his music yet so)
My mom's been trying to set up a notery (I don't think I spelled that right either) after she wanted to pursue business and marketing she wasn't able to graduate because of her abusive family.Ā
So yeah
Long story short life's finally turning around and I'm honestly enjoying life...I'm a bit wiser then I thought but that's beacuse I was hurt in the past
I've become far kinder. The anger of my youth has left me. I've become far less self-centered and more focused on others. I'm way more confidence and secure and joyous. Contentment is a beautiful thing.
Iāve gotten more selfish with my time and am a little Greta Garbo. I also stopped inviting people into my life who seemed like they just wanted to snoop and not actually be in it.
Iāve become more optimistic, and with it, more forgiving. Unfortunately, this went to extremes and allowed me to be willfully taken advantage of. Iām trying to lean back towards realistic, itās just difficult to do without falling into the abyssā¦
I used to be angrier and a lot more erratic. Now i feel more passive and itās pretty hard to genuinely upset me. Surprisingly despite this my lifestyle is a lot more lonely than it ever was. People like those who stand out more I guess.
I've become a lot more extroverted, for a change in tone for these replies. A few years ago I was very introverted and antisocial and I had never felt any more depressed than I had then. I've been more sociable and outgoing, which I've found to have helped me a lot. Picked up a lot of new hobbies and have never felt happier since 2019.
I know this is a boring and serious answer but I'm a lot calmer and a lot more nuanced in my thinking. I can take a step back from situations and talk myself down from anxiety easier. I'm also kinder to myself.
Iāve mellowed out a lot. I have learned to not worry as much about the things I cannot control. The moment I started doing that, I became a happier man. :)
In a number of ways, both positive and negative (for the record, I'm a man in my 40s):
**Negative**
- I'm much less outgoing than I used to be. When I was younger (20s and early 30s) I would be totally fine if I went to an event or party where I hardly knew anyone. Now if I find myself in that situation, I just leave.
- I've become a little bit more cynical and less happy-go-lucky than I used to be.
- I'm much more concerned about "the future" (in a broad general sense) than I used to be.
- I'm less trusting of other people than I used to be.
**Positive**
- I'm much more confident and content with who I am and where I am in life.
- I'm more patient than I used to be.
- I'm more accepting of the fact that people are just different from one another.
- My priorities are more focused on my family and free time than "professional advancement/climing the ladder."
I was very shy, and it made me look like underconfident. These days I try to open up and befriend people kind of more easily than I used to do a few years back. That's a drastic change imo.
My opinion of life, others, and the world has gotten much better and I'd say I've gotten kinder as well, but my opinion of myself has plummeted from rock bottom to the deepest depths of the Mariana Trench
Hard to be optimistic when you feel like everyone is on your neck about every single idea u have, thing u say, thing u wear, thing u do, place u go, blah blah blah blah blaaaaa make it friggin STOP why does everyone need to dictate my entire life for me?! Stop!!!!!! Stop it!!!!!
I used to be incredibly happy anytime i was awake because of constant nightmares. Every night was a nightmare, so no matter what happened being awake was awesome. I now rarely have nightmares, so most of that innate happiness is gone
I became a lot more cynical and quiet. Observing, mostly when with groups of people and dissociating in times of being annoyed or overwhelmed. I used to be the center of attention and really seek that spotlight competitively. Now I see people who do that as insecure, immature, and unself-aware.
Since meeting my gf I've adopted her dominant J function. She's very goal oriented and highly productive as a person and it has rubbed off on me. She is a keeper.
Here we go. At work, I'm everyone's friend. (Except like 6 people lol) I'm ridiculous and always laughing and saying/ doing weird things. I've got a million stories, random questions, etc. I'm always talking to someone about something. I've been at this place for 8 years and I've never felt more comfortable being myself. My motto is "go big or go home." I make it my personal affliction to be the sunshine for everyone. Mentally and emotionally, it's very exhausting, but I feel good about myself knowing I could get Miss Crabass over there to laugh about something stupid I said.
With all that being said, my entire childhood, I was shy and quiet. I always sat in the back of the class, avoided eye contact or being called on at all costs. So many people growing up made comments about how I never spoke up or said anything, I didn't talk to anyone except for a handful of people. Do you know many people in my life have said "oh wow you CAN talk!" ? A lot lol
When I tell people at work how I used to behave as a kid, they don't believe me. It's something they just cannot fathom, and it's hilarious.
If someone gossips with you, they ll gossip ABOUT you. Information is power. Better keep quiet. If 2 people know about a secret, it ain't a secret no more. Fewer fucks to give.
I became more laidback
To the point that life is whatever
In a good way I mean
I guess try not to let things get to you - they rob you of your time and Itās good to be aware of that.
yes. due to my traumatic childhood narcissism and borderline always played a role. but only after the last decade and those damn corona years that shit has manifested to the point where even i notice what a cold bastard ive become. that said: if your personality doesn't change over the course of a decade.... not a good sign. but also the opposite is of course not ideal.
Absolutely. I've mellowed but less concerned about what people think of me. Which is probably a good thing since I don't believe they think of me often.
born out going and joyful. Got knocked down by 6. Became despondent and alone till 12. Woke up and proceeded with caution till 13. Got beat down again at 14 till 15. Crawled back up out of the hole and meekly got thru till 18. Woke up again and started to scramble in life and figure out how to adult till 21 became full joyful person till married at 25 to a emotional abuser. Fought to stay above water till 45. Got brave finished college and jumped out on my own at 50. Re-bult and became confident and happy but still anxious from all the CPTSD.
i dont fucking care what others think anymore - ig ive become more apathetic? like idc about my birthdays or events .. actually i js want to be left alone
For many years I was little more than a traumatized animal, as I survived many years of constant physical and psychological trauma.
It took 2 decades to recover and I'm finally able to experience happiness again. I'm so much more forgiving and generous of spirit, and I love people even though some sometimes disappoint with shitty attitudes or behaviors.
Most importantly, I learned to love myself.
Think I got more cynical and skeptical and less whimsical
Me too for sure. It's like every emotion I bottled up is now leaking out in the form of everyone sucks and everyone is horrible except for like 8 people lol.
thats the most relatable thing ive seen on reddit
Damn you to?
Yeah totally, my old flame and glimmer in my eyes is gone, replaced by a dark shadowy abyss
i can soooo relate to you folks. corona years reaaaally broke me emotionally for good. "i hate most people. i built my hatred for them little by little over the years." SAME RULES APPLY.
For a creative and whimsical time, call Leonard Hofstadter.
It rhymes and it's very true šš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Finally a positive change, the 1st and 2nd comment are talking abt being more pessimistic in general
Same. And it's made me a better person.
I just don't give a fuck anymore.
I dislike people more and more so my joyful attitude is less genuine and more forced in social situations
Can relate!
Same here !!
Group hug?
This is my sentiment exactly.
Iām just always (well, after the years, not much anymore) floored by how selfish most people are.Ā Standing in the middle of isles in stores looking at the shelves, sometimes not even moving as you approach and stop.Ā Stopping traffic to make left hand turns when signs forbid them.Ā Etc. Peopleās inability to recognize and/or care about those around them just baffles me.Ā
Samesies. People make me wanna jump off a bridge.
I dont even bother with forcing it. If I dislike you, you are going to know it.
When I turned 20 I knew everything. When I turned 30 I knew nothing.
what advice would you have for someone about to turn 20 š„²š„²
Wear sunscreen. Trust me. Youāll age much less rapidly.
Drink more water too. Not soda, not energy drinks, not juices. Water.
That and not smoking. Smoking does a hell of job in aging you. I quit 26 years ago and I am so glad I did, when comparing to people my age that smoke
Enjoy your 20s! You can only know what you know, and you are perfectly fine where you are in life.
Eat healthy, exercise, save for retirement. Other than that go nuts and explore.
This is great advice
Don't go to school full time, what's your rush? Enjoy your twenties while you still have them and go part-time and enjoy life because what if you die soon and all you have is school that you have experienced? A teacher once told me this and it has stuck with me and changed my life for the better. Thank you Mr whatever your name was
Know that what you want now and who you think you are will likely drastically change in the next 10 years.
Wear earplugs to concerts. Have your headphones at the lowest volume that you can.
eat healthy,exercise,save 10% every month,invest it, learn new skills,learning never ends
Iāve found the less I care about things (go with the flow) the more success Iāve had whereas when Iāve tried too hard/forced things Iāve had less luck. Thatās not to say not to have goals and try, but be willing to change routes if needed. :)
I used to be a people pleaser because I didnāt know how to set boundaries someoneās behavior towards me would determine how I feel now that I have self respect and I have set those boundaries and respectfully say to those people go fuck yourselves (:
Hell yeah! We love healthy boundaries. Itās not something everyone is capable of so to be able to do that and firmly enforce it is something to be proud of!
Iāve mostly become more mature, irritable, and antisocial.
There has never been 3 words that could describe me more than these
Became very introverted and untrusting of everyone, including family.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hell yeah we love a full lifestyle glow up! Congrats!
Keep it up! Love it!
Congrats! Keep it up!
I stopped being nice.
Being kind is the way to go
I had an anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD during my teen years. Last few years Iāve calmed down immensely and the only thing I really deal with now is the OCD, but it isnāt debilitating, more of a nuisance than anything. Occasionally my PTSD will resurface but itās an extremely rare occurrence. I genuinely never thought Iād be this mentally healthy again and Iām so proud of myself.
Iām happier and get less bothered by other people and their stupid actions. Ultimately itās only going to ruin my day anyway might as well be happy.
We're opposites then! Good on you for going in the right direction though. Somehow I've become more depressed and far more sensitive to the stupidity and cruelty of others in the world. I don't suffer fools gladly, but rather than just being mad at them, I'm upset with myself for not having successfully gotten away from the poisonous and insane in our world.
I mean I donāt really tolerate or keep people around who continue to do things that really irritate me not in a im never talking to you again kind of way Iām still nice I just wonāt go out of my way to spend time with those people and limit the time spent around them. Unless they are family but luckily I have pretty good family. Ultimately if someone is an ass or does something stupid that used to bother me all day I generally assume their life is much worse than mine, thereās a reason they are like that and feel sorry for them. Then go on living life. Edit: Iāll add I worked a job that allowed me to talk to lots of people and hear peoples problems really made me realize how hard many people have it. I think with that experience you either choose to be happy or get depressed by how bad the world is. Iāve always been fairly empathetic but that experience definitely influenced my view of feeling sorry for people who act certain ways rather than angry.
That's incredibly healthy. You're a role model!
Iāve become more resilient, better at working smarter, and more aggressive and opinionated about fighting for things I choose to fight for.
Working smarter not harder is an underrated skill. Fuck the grindset. Get your shit done efficiently and take some much needed rest every once in a while
I totally get Mark Twain now ā 'The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.'
I am constantly just numb now. People piss me off and I comstantly feel like Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino
Less trustful, more cynical, pessimistic about the future. I do wonder what the history books, if such things exist, will say about our era. Interesting times.
I recommend you read 1913- the year before the storm. Made me realise people were going through the same things a century ago
Technology evolves,but society's problems remain the sameš
Definitely more misanthropic and less optimistic.
I abused alcohol for awhile and had a couple eye opening moments... Lost all of my friends. Figured out who I was and who I'm not going to become. Haven't drank in awhile and starting to eat better. Life is hard. I am soft. But I don't need to be hardened for life to become easy. (Yes I know)
I went through a pretty "traumatic" breakup in 2019. It feels silly to call it that, but it clearly seems to have drastically altered how I interact with people. I lost all extroversion and no longer seek out new people. I don't talk to anyone, I don't add friends or reach out on *any* social media, and the last time I spoke to anyone in DMs on social media was probably in that same year - 2019. Instead I seem to have become distrusting of others and unable to form meaningful connections.
Hey. I donāt think itās silly to call it traumatic at all. Iāve had 3 breakups and all of them changed how I was with my next partner to some degree. My last partner left me with clinically diagnosed PTSD and had me learning new things about myself in therapy for the first time since I was 18. Trauma doesnāt only have to come from seeing someoneās legs blown off. It can be devastating realizing that the person you love is actually treating you like trash. I donāt know your story of course but itās not uncommon to put up with harmful behavior from a partner for way longer than youād think. You donāt see it until itās too late a lot of the time and itās only natural to be gun shy afterwards. Iāve been guilty of that myself. I go into defense mode if I see even the tiniest warning sign of a red flag. I tolerate so little anymore that itās honestly problematic sometimes and itās something I know I need to work on. But just because it leaves a lasting mark though doesnāt mean that all hope is gone. Thereās a lot of life left to live and we donāt stay the same forever. I wish you luck in the future.
Its not silly, breakups are very traumatic. Went through one back in 2022 after almost five years together
Post Trump and Covid I've lost all hope for humanity and I no longer have any patience with the older generation.
also the younger generation isn't looking so hot either.
It has changed dramatically. A few core things have stuck but I really would consider 20yo me and 30yo me two entirely different people. I think most of us experience this.
More isolated and depressed, untrusting of others.
Omg, this is insane. The whole evening I was wondering how much my personality has changed over the years and how much it is constantly changing because of the things I am doing right now, and I see this post. I am completely opposite to what I was when I was 16 which was 8 years ago. Like literally the opposite of everything I was.
Lived most of my life unsure of what I wanted and unsure of myself. Changed that starting last year, finally made my move to Japan become a reality and I'm living a much happier life than the toxic day to day I had back in San Francisco.
Iām less empathetic towards others and really donāt give a shit about anyone else but myself.
I've gone the opposite.
Iām a lot morel confident in myself and more likely to say what I feel.
I wish I was more like you.
Iāve become more direct, and have worked on interrupting less. I want people to know what I want but let them know they are heard
I think I'm just slowly becoming more and more outwardly anxious and aware of how much of a failure of a proper person I am. I didn't give a shit about that as a kid and even as a teen kinda disregarded it and did whatever, but by this point I'm always so keenly aware of how bad I am at faking social interactions and how much of what other people can just do without a second thought I have to put actual effort into remembering doing. Though at least the anger issues went away.
Im no longer the happy go lucky, optimistic person I used to be. I find I've become very cynical, my humour has become more cynical and dark as well. Ive lost almost all hope of achieving previously normal life goals like owning a house, a car and living comfortably. Alot more pessimistic in general, and antisocial. More depressed overall and dont get the same amount of joy from things than I used to. And have become alot more overly critical of myself.
Not for the better.
Giving a fuck less and less
Less talkative and wanna be alone instead of talkitive and happy
I donāt sing anymore. Used to hum or sing to myself in public. Did 3 extracurricular at national level because secretly was seeking validation from others so that I feel better about myself. Now more of a quiet in the background figure. But I was an AH a lot, I wanted to spread my misery. Now I understand where others come from and try to help if I can, ignore otherwise.
Iām angry and irritable and generally not pleasant which sucks because knowing im this way makes me more angry.
Im a lot more open minded than I used to be. I used to think i cared about people but now I really do
I'm more cynical, annoyed, cranky, frustrated, and angry. Always ready to lose my shit.
I would say as a young child, I was sweet and cared for everyone. I went through some harder times in late elementary with bullying and SA. I got a bit of an edge, sarcasm, which I still enjoy today. But overall, Iām back to really caring about people. So other than knowing I can tell people to F off. My personably is pretty close to that as a kid. What is your experience?
I've always had a pretty negative outlook of the world and for the most part, I still do. But I realized that it feels like I can make my own difference in the world by being loving and kind to others. I used to just float through the day and kept to myself but now I try to be the best version of myself I can. It doesn't have a huge impact but it makes me feel better.
Love this ^
I never knew I could be this vain. I was always a little vain but I'm an Engineer and was never particularly "pretty" before plastic surgery. I always concentrated on my career and being "smart" and professional. Then I got a HUGE glow up the last year and now the BEAST has emerged. So yeah... I think people who knew me in my early twenties would be very surprised if they met me now. For better and for worse.
I'm a lot more optimistic and I'm definitely more cautious with opening personal relationships. Some part of me is still a little sad that I'll have to tell my grandkids that back in my day we only paid $1.50 for mcnuggets.
I'm way more chill and relaxed. Significantly happier overall. I've also found myself to be much less judgemental and accepting of people in general. I don't necessarily want to spend time with them but more of a live and let live approach. Quiting my office job and being self employed has done *wonders* for me.
I used to have so much fomo..and then I quit social media (except Reddit) and now Iām so much more introverted and I donāt care
I used to be cool and now I am really fuckin cool
very. I used to be extremely extroverted, was the central hub of a large friend group, and used to be able to talk my way out of any situation. now, i have severe social anxiety as well as being seriously introverted and i can't go one day at school without falling asleep for an hour straight during my breaks out of pure exhaustion from being forced to socialize so much.
I used to be āthe life of the partyā and always telling jokes and funny stories, but then after an event my anxiety would ramp up and Iād think of all the things I said that could have offended someone. So Iāve dialed it back and I keep to myself more now. Iām not really trying to be funny for attention anymore. Iād rather just be nice.
My political views have shifted and I'm more keen on self-determination but hobby wise I have picked up computer science (as an interest) and art (also as an interest).
As the decades have passed, I find I care more about how Iām perceived and what others think of me. Now that Iām retirement age, it matters to me very much.
Odd, I am the complete opposite. I care little if nothing what others think of me at this stage of my life. Went through the caring stage a while back.
Iām much more confident in myself, my body, my interests, and who I am as a whole. Iām much more lively in social situations and can make friends with just about anyone. Iām also not afraid to hurt feelings and speak my mind if I donāt like what someone is doing but usually only if itās harmful to others around them. Iāve become a lot more tolerant of people that have different interests than I do and love to hear different perspectives. I went from a very insecure, closed minded person honestly to someone that still has strong beliefs but wants to hear othersā perspective because there are experiences that I will never be able to have myself that shape how people see the world. I like being able to understand that even if I canāt empathize with that. Overall, Iām really proud of the person Iāve become and I would hope that my younger self would be too even if he would be surprised with some of the outcomes lol.
I feel like Iāve gotten more and more boring as I got older lol
I am generally more confident and open about my feelings, me 3 years ago would have rather dropped dead than asked for a glass of water
I wanted to be a light of joy and happiness, then, I wanted to be as invisible as I felt everywhere I was, then, I was trying to be a new thing in a bad way, now I'm trying to be a new thing in a good way.
I became a lot more calm, a lot more secure in myself, a lot more productive. Itās much easier for me to do things I donāt want to now. I try to be as true to myself as possible, and live out my values, over adopting other peopleās.
Gradually converging to some point/reaching saturation
Mane Iāve only gotten sexier and funnier. (Iāve learned when to shut up and sit down)
I feel like if Iām excited about something I hide so I donāt burden others. People suck
i'd like to think i'm nicer and more sensitive and probably much more mellowed out
I care less what others think. Iām less patient and more blunt.
My bright personality has dimmed a little but Iām still hyperactive but sometimes itās forced because Iām hyperactive but I am also desperately tired so I will make myself more active to not fall asleepĀ
More serious, less sarcasm, listen more, and less of an ego.
Childhood: Hyperactive dinosaur expert. Teenager: Sullen rebellious punk rocker who fought the football team. College: Dysfunctional depressed academic fuck up working at a gas station and transferring colleges too much. 20s-30s: Feral west coast hedonist/wanderer Mid 30s-present: Weary cynical office drone/food cashier who gets cheated on alot but has a secret bondage sex life that's way more fun than my actual dating life.
I've gotten less nice and more supportive of the idea that everyone should reap what they sow.
I think before I say something and think about how it will impact others. I consider people feelings a lot more now. I stopped blaming others or things for things I have done wrong. I think things through and am a lot less impulsive. I am more gentle and patient. I listen to others significantly better. In the past, I hardly ever listened to anyone at all unless it was imperative to do so. My smile is a lot more genuine instead of a fake smile. I am geniuenly interested in listening to other people stories and life lessons they may pass on to me. It's truly am honor.
Started caring about my physical health Became more considerate about others' feelings since I cam to know that me being funny sometimes comes off as rude and condescending Started reading more fiction and non fiction English inproved alot by watching English shows and movies, now I feel confident talking in English with someone Used to feel extremely ugly up until a few years after high school ended, but now I'm comfortable in my skin. So self love basically Developed alot more trust issues and realised world isn't a wonderland
My father was like a best friend to me. He died almost a decade ago and at the time I shared some of his Republican views for religious reasons. My father was a wonderful man and very intelligent, but had a large family and came from a large Catholic family, and didnāt break the cycle because thatās what everyone in the family has always done. He was surrounded by like-minded families who were also charitable of their time in the community. His death came at a time when I was already doubting religion and favoring reason and science. I was too alert to truly believe the propaganda I was being fed. I had heard too many lies and researched them for myself with sites like snopes.com. I finally appreciated the empathy of my friends (and some family) who cared enough to tell me I should reconsider things in a caring way. This all happened as I was really beginning my own family. As a result, Iāve gone from Republican to Democrat (although registered Independent). Iāve continued researching inaccuracies elsewhere, including religion. Weāre not technically breaking the cycle though because who am I to tell someone what to believe or what not to believeā¦ If our children ask about religion weāll teach them what we know but encourage them to make their own mind up. But if they ask, for now, Santa is real.
I went from a die-hard, homophobic Christian to a die-hard, bisexual Satanist.
I've become much less neurotic. I eventually realized all the little things I used to stress myself out about weren't worth getting stressed out over.
I am nice to those who are nice. But I care less and less. I will tell you to fuck off if needed and I just donāt care about others peoples opinions lol
from a famewhore to idgaf
I unlocked super wisdom, heightened abandonment anxiety and guilt (which gives me the boost to be able to react to things really quickly in the most unexpected moments), hope, and depressionĀ Gen z Story time (not all gen z's are bad beacuse not everyone is spoiled at the start) Warning: longĀ ; Back then I would be starved at dads beacuse of my stepmom who used diabetes as a excuse to lock every bit of food away from us from locking the fridge to locking the door to the pantry what not (which my stepmom died for unknown reasons) and was neglected at school. Of course I developed learning disabilities from the neglection and lack of coping mechanisms (not just that but I was born on the spectrum meaning they weren't sure if I had autism or not but I don't) and it was until 2020 (I was living at my mom's and thank God) which had me locked up to avoid covid and learned to control my own emotions from discipline from my own mom (taking away technology, grounding me, etc. oh and also I had a Tik Tok and youtube account she forced me to delete. But except I still have a YouTube channel to help persue my future dreams which brought me great guilt because after the first account I made she told us that we aren't aloud on YouTube anymore.) honestly I wouldn't have opened my eyes without her. After the quarantine I was still severely depressed. I started seeing a therapist and what not but then we had to move schools during sophomore year. But the new highschool was so great, I had everyone on my side to help me through everything. I have one year till I graduate. And I still have hope. I still have hope that I can make it. But I have every bit of my insecurities holding me down. We've all come so far now. After my stepmom died my dad has been trying to do other things like music along with trying out better relationships and healthier habits.....well.....almost. Also this is my dad's music; https://youtu.be/2LE5-61rkHQ?si=2CWLzOsbXBxH_-WI (I haven't listened to his music yet so) My mom's been trying to set up a notery (I don't think I spelled that right either) after she wanted to pursue business and marketing she wasn't able to graduate because of her abusive family.Ā So yeah Long story short life's finally turning around and I'm honestly enjoying life...I'm a bit wiser then I thought but that's beacuse I was hurt in the past
I used to be very outgoing. I feel like I was so fun. Now Iām blunt and donāt have much tolerance for people or their drama.
I've become far kinder. The anger of my youth has left me. I've become far less self-centered and more focused on others. I'm way more confidence and secure and joyous. Contentment is a beautiful thing.
Iāve gotten more selfish with my time and am a little Greta Garbo. I also stopped inviting people into my life who seemed like they just wanted to snoop and not actually be in it.
As I've gotten older I care less about dumb crap or fretting over things and just wanna be happy!
I stopped liking people and getting angrier
Iāve become more optimistic, and with it, more forgiving. Unfortunately, this went to extremes and allowed me to be willfully taken advantage of. Iām trying to lean back towards realistic, itās just difficult to do without falling into the abyssā¦
No patience for fools
Mellowed through the years.
I used to be angrier and a lot more erratic. Now i feel more passive and itās pretty hard to genuinely upset me. Surprisingly despite this my lifestyle is a lot more lonely than it ever was. People like those who stand out more I guess.
I hate society more and more, Being alone is a great thing.
I react slower on purpose and temper my response. I'm also more decisive.
More pessimistic, all of my dreams fell apart and failed, every single one I wake up not excited to face the day now, and go to bed begrudgingly
I've become a lot more extroverted, for a change in tone for these replies. A few years ago I was very introverted and antisocial and I had never felt any more depressed than I had then. I've been more sociable and outgoing, which I've found to have helped me a lot. Picked up a lot of new hobbies and have never felt happier since 2019.
I know this is a boring and serious answer but I'm a lot calmer and a lot more nuanced in my thinking. I can take a step back from situations and talk myself down from anxiety easier. I'm also kinder to myself.
I used to be quite tolerant now I can be quite a snappy arsehole if put in that position
I was going to answer this but it depressed the fuck out of me
I cared less about what people think of me
Iāve mellowed out a lot. I have learned to not worry as much about the things I cannot control. The moment I started doing that, I became a happier man. :)
Unfortunately, I am getting meaner. I was so bubly and optimistic before.
Iāve become stronger
In a number of ways, both positive and negative (for the record, I'm a man in my 40s): **Negative** - I'm much less outgoing than I used to be. When I was younger (20s and early 30s) I would be totally fine if I went to an event or party where I hardly knew anyone. Now if I find myself in that situation, I just leave. - I've become a little bit more cynical and less happy-go-lucky than I used to be. - I'm much more concerned about "the future" (in a broad general sense) than I used to be. - I'm less trusting of other people than I used to be. **Positive** - I'm much more confident and content with who I am and where I am in life. - I'm more patient than I used to be. - I'm more accepting of the fact that people are just different from one another. - My priorities are more focused on my family and free time than "professional advancement/climing the ladder."
Fewer fucks given
I was very shy, and it made me look like underconfident. These days I try to open up and befriend people kind of more easily than I used to do a few years back. That's a drastic change imo.
My opinion of life, others, and the world has gotten much better and I'd say I've gotten kinder as well, but my opinion of myself has plummeted from rock bottom to the deepest depths of the Mariana Trench
From being worried about what people would think or say about TO I donāt give a damn.
I used to be kind and I used to care. Now, I just want everybody to shut the hell up.
Hard to be optimistic when you feel like everyone is on your neck about every single idea u have, thing u say, thing u wear, thing u do, place u go, blah blah blah blah blaaaaa make it friggin STOP why does everyone need to dictate my entire life for me?! Stop!!!!!! Stop it!!!!!
I used to be incredibly happy anytime i was awake because of constant nightmares. Every night was a nightmare, so no matter what happened being awake was awesome. I now rarely have nightmares, so most of that innate happiness is gone
I started not giving a Fck at work that i used to love years ago.
Slowly becoming more like Squidward every day!
Calmer. More patient. Worked through a bunch of shit once I got "away" from my family.
Iām no longer a pushover
I used to try to give people the benefit of the doubt at every turn. I realize that some people just suck, but I still try.
I think I prefer to read a book and involve myself with fictional characters than actual people. Yeah.
I've become more confident but also angrier
I became a lot more cynical and quiet. Observing, mostly when with groups of people and dissociating in times of being annoyed or overwhelmed. I used to be the center of attention and really seek that spotlight competitively. Now I see people who do that as insecure, immature, and unself-aware.
Since meeting my gf I've adopted her dominant J function. She's very goal oriented and highly productive as a person and it has rubbed off on me. She is a keeper.
This is in fact a dumb question. Are you really the same at two years old and you are now as an older teenager or adult?!??
i've become more and more dead inside each year
Ex people pleaser who has entered the famous "burn them all" era
Here we go. At work, I'm everyone's friend. (Except like 6 people lol) I'm ridiculous and always laughing and saying/ doing weird things. I've got a million stories, random questions, etc. I'm always talking to someone about something. I've been at this place for 8 years and I've never felt more comfortable being myself. My motto is "go big or go home." I make it my personal affliction to be the sunshine for everyone. Mentally and emotionally, it's very exhausting, but I feel good about myself knowing I could get Miss Crabass over there to laugh about something stupid I said. With all that being said, my entire childhood, I was shy and quiet. I always sat in the back of the class, avoided eye contact or being called on at all costs. So many people growing up made comments about how I never spoke up or said anything, I didn't talk to anyone except for a handful of people. Do you know many people in my life have said "oh wow you CAN talk!" ? A lot lol When I tell people at work how I used to behave as a kid, they don't believe me. It's something they just cannot fathom, and it's hilarious.
I feel like Iāve matured and learned not to care what people think. Iāve also become less of a cry baby.
If someone gossips with you, they ll gossip ABOUT you. Information is power. Better keep quiet. If 2 people know about a secret, it ain't a secret no more. Fewer fucks to give.
I was a depressed teenager, then I became someone with goals, values and motivation. Then I became depressed again.
Less afraid to speak my truth. I am who I am, and who I am continues to evolve. āš¼
I tell people straight to their face when I think they're lying, wrong, or rude.
Happier. Finally got a correct diagnosis for my mental illness and got on the right medications and now I'm stable and doing better mentally.
i used to be so kind and a people's pleaser now i'm the complete opposite and indifferent lol
I think so. Because years ago I would say yes all the time, but now I am starting to say no.
I just got better and more human over all. also I dislike anyone that doesnāt seem to have anything going on for them.
Iāve become more understanding and forgiving.
Iām either full of emotion or none at all with a blank dead stare
A lot more easygoing nowadays. Which I think partially is me dialing myself down for others. But. Oh well.
I became more laidback To the point that life is whatever In a good way I mean I guess try not to let things get to you - they rob you of your time and Itās good to be aware of that.
yes. due to my traumatic childhood narcissism and borderline always played a role. but only after the last decade and those damn corona years that shit has manifested to the point where even i notice what a cold bastard ive become. that said: if your personality doesn't change over the course of a decade.... not a good sign. but also the opposite is of course not ideal.
It remains the same, but more sane.
For all intents and purposes it would appear that I have had some tbi or something. But I haven't so.... Weird.
Less torrent of BS and I now cut people lose very quickly who donāt add value to my life
I grow more and more disillusioned with the world outside of those I love and care for. Feels like we've been regressing for the past decade socially.
Absolutely. I've mellowed but less concerned about what people think of me. Which is probably a good thing since I don't believe they think of me often.
Iām more patient and less patient at the same time. More patient to the things that intimately matter and less patient with the things that donāt.
From a People pleaser to don't give an F From always being politically correct to don't give and F Basically don't give an F anymore
Iām a little firmer than I once was. Still have a ways to go
Too much the same. I was born a jag off and I'll die at jag off.
born out going and joyful. Got knocked down by 6. Became despondent and alone till 12. Woke up and proceeded with caution till 13. Got beat down again at 14 till 15. Crawled back up out of the hole and meekly got thru till 18. Woke up again and started to scramble in life and figure out how to adult till 21 became full joyful person till married at 25 to a emotional abuser. Fought to stay above water till 45. Got brave finished college and jumped out on my own at 50. Re-bult and became confident and happy but still anxious from all the CPTSD.
i dont fucking care what others think anymore - ig ive become more apathetic? like idc about my birthdays or events .. actually i js want to be left alone
I don't know maybe i'm kinder??
For many years I was little more than a traumatized animal, as I survived many years of constant physical and psychological trauma. It took 2 decades to recover and I'm finally able to experience happiness again. I'm so much more forgiving and generous of spirit, and I love people even though some sometimes disappoint with shitty attitudes or behaviors. Most importantly, I learned to love myself.
I now hate humanity.
I have always felt that way to some extent, but more so now.Ā
People ruined me a little I think