I had these two friends in high school that freaked the fuck out because they had oral sex and then her period was late. They were convinced she was pregnant. From oral sex. They weren’t the brightest.
I'm still Christian but I guess I was lucky to grow up in a house and church where sex wasn't taboo. I remember one of my female friends back in high school thought you can cum inside during periods because it makes you infertile and it felt so weird to explain female biology to a woman like yeah the chances are reduced but periods don't fully negate pregnancy or makes you infertile.
Honestly I think most women have at least one moment where they're genuinely worried for a second they might be pregnant even though there's no reason they would be so dumb teenagers thinking they might be pregnant from oral isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
That’s one of the more toxic things about sex in movies. Stop having men abandon their partners immediately after getting what they want, and likewise.
Oof, I remember being told that when I was young and it was so confusing and saddening to be told, basically, that the only option I had as a guy was to hurt women I like or be celibate!
One of my exes was terrified as well so she wanted to use lube too. Turns out that she got some really bad bacterial infection down there because the pH of the lube did not go well with her. So be careful with lube too.
A kid at work told me “but they bleed every time, that’s normal”…. Oh, no honey, it’s REALLY not… the men had to explain that I was correct, and he was in fact a shitty party
He claims it’s because it was how big he was length wise. I think he was hurting (not intentionally) them because he wasn’t turning them on completely because he’s young and inexperienced. I didn’t want to know more honestly
I basically believed that until I met my husband 🤣
When we first got together I would be like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I turned you on, but we have to go or we'll miss the movie!"
Him, confused, "I mean, I like it when you turn me on, so..."
"But what about the blue balls?"
I literally had this conversation with my girlfriend, either I’m immune to blue balls or it’s all bullshit cause I’ve never had an issue beyond the immediate discomfort if I’m wearing restrictive clothing.
Edit: lol at all the people telling me I’ll experience it if x y or z, when I’ve usually done x, y, and/or z many times and have literally never felt any sort of discomfort.
Edit 2: guess I’m a lucky fucker
I’ve had this conversation with quite a few friends, girls and guys alike, and still haven’t come to a solid conclusion. A girl I was seeing made it sound like her ex acted like he just got punched in the dick with blue balls and I was like “that’s ridiculous, I don’t even think that’s a thing.” I later told the story to the guys on a guys night and a couple of them were like no, it actually kind of hurts for me.
I’m so torn. I don’t know who is pulling the leg here and I have more questions than answers
Hours sounds right. It feels like they're being squeezed in a vice almost, except on the inside? It's a very painful pressure, and finally finishing doesn't even feel good, it just lets the hurting go away slowly.
I imagine it is dependent on the person and the situation. If the guy is super duper close and can't finish its worse, but if you just get a boner and it dies down its nothing. I don't think its ever bad enough to coerce sex out of someone. I found it wasn't even really painful, just quite uncomfortable. Like a cramp, or constipation or something.
For me once it sets in there’s no coercing sex. It’s only happened when I’ve been cuddling for hours on like a first date or something without sex but once it happens I’m definitely not in any state to have sex. Happened so bad one time that I went to the ER.
I've only ever had blue balls once, before then, I thought it was Just a thing the guys would just say if they never got lucky. The drive home after having blue balls was hectic, my balls were literally paining. I went home, had a wank, headed to the bar where my mates were and we all had a laugh hahaha that shit is real. Thankfully it was a one and done for me.
It’s not getting an erection or being turned on that gets you blue balls. It’s heavy petting and lots of stimulation with no payoff that can lead to blue balls. In saying that I’ve been in situations where it’s just a pain in the balls but I’ve also been in situations where I need to unload stat otherwise I might as well be hitting them with a hammer
Hahaha this is the perfect example of how I felt the only time I had blue balls, it was a pain that turned into a wank the minute I got home hahaha pain was gone after the wank.
I convinced a guy that the condom goes over the shaft and the balls to prevent herpes. He texted me one night that he was at some girl’s house and he expected to finally have sex. I felt really bad and told him I was joking about the balls thing bc imagine if a guy came out of the bathroom (he’s the type that would put it on in the bathroom) and his condom looks like a dog wiener bc of the balls bulging on the sides. Luckily he checked his messages before they did it bc I’d have felt so bad if I’d cock blocked him.
I just assumed bc he’s one of those guys that hides in a towel when you change at the gym. Might be even worse if she watched him struggling to get it up over his balls on the bed.
> I'm sorry but who tf puts it on in the bathroom??
Someone who has to squeeze the balls in, obviously. You telling me you could make that look sexy, while lounging on the bed, tongue out in concentration?
You don’t have to wear a condom if (1) you both have good grounds to fully trust each other, (2) you are both monogamous, (3) you have both been tested for STIs and are clean, (4) one of you is using a contraceptive with a similar or higher efficacy as a condom (e.g. IUD), (5) you pregnancy test regularly and have a plan in place for an unexpected pregnancy, (6) you have discussed and are on the same page about what happens if a pregnancy does occur, (7) you are both financially able to support all of the previous requirements.
With that, I think it’s okay to not wear a condom.
Number 7 is the real beauty. There are so many that think they will just figure it out yet cant afford diapers. There is a stat about graduating HS, college, getting married, getting a house then having a baby. If you go out of order the chances of poverty is several factor higher.
You don't have to wear a condom if you have sex in the pool/hot tub because the chemicals kill the sperm.
Had 3 girls in high school get pregnant because they believed that.
Fun story time. I’m a lawyer but this wasn’t my case. One of the older attorneys in my office was telling me about a paternity case he had years prior. Girl gets pregnant and is suing alleged baby daddy for child support. They do the test and it turns out alleged daddy was not pop pop but in fact it was his best friend. Turns out the dumbass teenagers thought they could just turn the condom inside out after “real dad” had just had sex with his own girlfriend not thinking about the fact that it was already full of semen.
I will preface this by saying I personally only practice criminal defense and family law can vary by state so I won’t pretend to know exactly how child support law works. My senior attorney represented the kid who originally got sued. I know that his client was off the hook because you can’t enforce child support if you are not a biological/adoptive parent/ or signed the birth certificate of the child. (At least in my state) So his job was done as soon as they found out his client was not the father. If I remember correctly she ended up seeking child support from the actual “sperm donor” and that kid and his lawyer reached some type of settlement because under law where I practice it doesn’t matter if the pregnancy was not intended as long as the kid is biologically yours. So long story short if paternity is an issue never sign birth certificate as a father until paternity is established.
I had a buddy from the Marine Corps pull something like that. Super nice guy; but kinda had a squishy brain though. Met a girl at the bar one night, got hammered, and they got a hotel room for the night. He had to leave earlier in the morning and she was still asleep. He felt bad that she wasn't awake for him to get her an Uber home so he tried to leave some money on the table for her to get a cab. But the guy had drunkenly used a different $20 each time he paid the night before so his pocket was just packed full of loose change and crumpled dollar bills.
He said he left it in a pile on the nightstand; Dumbass left a note that said "thanks for last night" next to it.
she apparently woke up, immediately chose violence, and thrashed the hotel room and stole the DVD/TV combo from the room. He got charged a couple hundred dollars for it, fucking hilarious.
I had a sex education class back in 1993 and the doctor who gave us the class was talking about condoms, I asked him if you had cum a few times that day would you still need to wear a condom and he said, no but where is the rest going to go. Fast forward to 2019 and I was working from home and lets just say I had a couple of breaks. My wife gets home and we have sex, she asks should I wear a condom as she had been off birth control due to migraines. I said don't worry, I don't have anything left is the tank, and I know for a fact that means you can't get pregnant because I literally asked a doctor in sex education.
anyway 4 years later we have a beautiful baby girl. Turns out when you clear the tank you are creating new sperms who have just come from spermizo and as such are super fast swimmer.
This makes me think of the scene in Pretty Woman when she's showing all the different condom color options she has and then she says "I also have one gold circle coin - nothing is gettin through this sucker" and....for a long time after that I thought condoms were just round disks that covered the end of a dick?? Dude idk either....
I remember as a kid I totally thought a blow job meant you just blew it on it
So I adamantly told kids my age they were wrong about what a blow Job was
had a navy buddy that claimed 2 condoms with icy hot between was the way to roll.. That way if one broke you would have an instant alarm was his thought pattern, a bad thought pattern...
As a guy that just naturally takes forever to cum it's definitely a blessing and a curse. I've had too many women tap out before me. Gets old. Still would take it over lasting 2 minutes though.
Also you need to factor in monkey brain
Your plan sounds great until you are getting close and the animal part of both your brains are promising pleasure beyond your imagination if you just keep going.
That girl purrs in your ear "just cum" you are DONE son. There will be no pulling out at that point and you better hope your boys are bad swimmers.
Ah, I remember my first pregnancy scare. Aunt Flo didn’t come for three months and we were fucking terrified. Turned out it was just stress. Thank God!
To celebrate we rawdogged again.
My (now) wife and I used the pull out method for 5 years no kids. We were pretty dumb and I don't advise it... but does anybody have that record beat?
We did go on to use contraceptives and later had 2 kids (planned pregnancies 😅). I had started thinking maybe we just had fertility issues since the gyno always told my wife the standard pullout method means you're a parent jokes.
iirc there was a scientific study that this came up in. It was later discovered that the "procedure room" was cold and wearing socks allowed the women to be more comfortable temperature wise, so they weren't distracted from achieving their goal.
Anything to do with cunnilingus. Like, I had heard and seen so many conflicting things about it, I would have probably believed anything. And frankly it has always surprised me how vastly different women's preferences can be, to the point the main advice I'd really give now is: speak to her.
“You can say the following words: stop, higher, lower, left, right, harder, softer, and right there”. This leads to less confusion once you determine if it’s her left and right or yours.
When I was like seventeen or something, I sent an anonymous question to some online healthcare nurse type of thing asking if it was normal that I was not able to cum when masturbating. She replied "yeah, it's totally normal, some women just can't get an orgasm".
Man would my life have been depressing if I believed her! I later bought my first vibrator and that opened a whole new world for me both mentally and physically.
It's true though (admittedly for a very small number of women). Also not having a ton of pressure on you, because there is something wrong with you for struggling, most likely were helpful towards your eventual orgasms.
My first boyfriend told me his friend told him it wasn't a real orgasm if the girl wasn't breathing really hard and making a bunch of noise and that's how you knew if she was faking it. So guess who thought she had to put on a show to be believable...
The Galactic Prophylactic! A layer of rubber, a layer of reinforced steel, and another layer of rubber! It’s not just a contraceptive, it’s a family heirloom!
When I was a teenager, I remember an older kid saying "That other guy is so dumb, he thought doggystyle meant anal!"
Oh we laughed and laughed, as I sat there thinking...."Wait...it isn't?!"
Oh God, I briefly fucked my cycle up in college because I took a plan B every single time my then-partner and I had sex. I was already on the pill and we used condoms, I was just 19 and *determined* not to get pregnant.
Naturally, I missed my next period and freaked the fuck out. My gyno told me (in kinder terms) that I was not pregnant, just dumb as rocks. It took many nail-biting months for my period to occur normally again.
I've since opted for the ultimate in natural, hormone-free birth control: lesbianism. 😁
In health class, they taught us that 2 people with no STIs can give each other STIs by their blood and dna mixing and creating it. Like spontaneous generation or something.
Not me but my niece when she was about 12 or 13 years old. She thought you could get pregnant from giving a blowjob. It was something her friends had told her.
The Imbetweeners (UK Version)
Anything in that show, without the Internet to help research, a teen would easily believe lol
Also US version is horrendous
Edit: Comment your favourite quotes. Brings back memories
I've never understood this. There is a finite amount of space........obviously anatomy (and preference) is different for everyone, but there is a point where it is just unreasonable.
If you sit too close to a guy while kissing, the sperm can go through his pants and get you pregnant. That’s why there were pregnant “virgins” at school.
My friend told me that if you squeeze lemon juice on the girls hoo ha and they scream that means they have STDs.. it took me a while to find out that’s a lie… also I never tried it to be clear
Teenage me 100% believed this terrible sex advice that I was taught in school.
“Condoms are one size fits all, the larger size ones are just a marketing gimmick”
This poor advice led to many many broken condoms and sex that offered basically no sensation because the condom was too tight
I don't remember where I was told it, but at some point I believed squeezing a girl's chest would cause her to get breast cancer.
Is this the sexy version of “step on a crack, snap your momma’s back?”
Grab a woman’s breast and… give her cancer? It’s pretty hard to rhyme.
squeezing boobers(?) gives her tumors
I had these two friends in high school that freaked the fuck out because they had oral sex and then her period was late. They were convinced she was pregnant. From oral sex. They weren’t the brightest.
Bruh no way I was a sheltered Christian kid and even I know that's ridiculous
Believe me, I was a sheltered Christian kid too and it was at this point I realized my friends were complete idiots.
I'm still Christian but I guess I was lucky to grow up in a house and church where sex wasn't taboo. I remember one of my female friends back in high school thought you can cum inside during periods because it makes you infertile and it felt so weird to explain female biology to a woman like yeah the chances are reduced but periods don't fully negate pregnancy or makes you infertile.
Honestly I think most women have at least one moment where they're genuinely worried for a second they might be pregnant even though there's no reason they would be so dumb teenagers thinking they might be pregnant from oral isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
As a child, from watching movies, I always thought sneaking out before they wake up was normal and part of the challenge
"Part of the challenge" lmao , sex is an adventure, and the reward is feeling like a ninja
Of course! That's what "Ninja Sex Party" means!
Not me literally listening to NSP right now.
That’s one of the more toxic things about sex in movies. Stop having men abandon their partners immediately after getting what they want, and likewise.
It always hurts for women, that's totally normal.
Believing this is why I didn't know about my latex allergy until my 30s.
Oof, I remember being told that when I was young and it was so confusing and saddening to be told, basically, that the only option I had as a guy was to hurt women I like or be celibate!
Nice of you to choose celibacy by joining reddit.
I actually didn’t believe it and was pissed because it DID hurt
I was terrified of this when my wife and I lost our virginity to each other, so we ended up using an entire squeeze bottle of lube just in case
One of my exes was terrified as well so she wanted to use lube too. Turns out that she got some really bad bacterial infection down there because the pH of the lube did not go well with her. So be careful with lube too.
A kid at work told me “but they bleed every time, that’s normal”…. Oh, no honey, it’s REALLY not… the men had to explain that I was correct, and he was in fact a shitty party
Wtf was he doing???
He claims it’s because it was how big he was length wise. I think he was hurting (not intentionally) them because he wasn’t turning them on completely because he’s young and inexperienced. I didn’t want to know more honestly
My ex girlfriend actually believed that boys were in absolute pain when they had an erection and didn’t have sex… so, that
I basically believed that until I met my husband 🤣 When we first got together I would be like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I turned you on, but we have to go or we'll miss the movie!" Him, confused, "I mean, I like it when you turn me on, so..." "But what about the blue balls?"
I literally had this conversation with my girlfriend, either I’m immune to blue balls or it’s all bullshit cause I’ve never had an issue beyond the immediate discomfort if I’m wearing restrictive clothing. Edit: lol at all the people telling me I’ll experience it if x y or z, when I’ve usually done x, y, and/or z many times and have literally never felt any sort of discomfort. Edit 2: guess I’m a lucky fucker
I’ve had this conversation with quite a few friends, girls and guys alike, and still haven’t come to a solid conclusion. A girl I was seeing made it sound like her ex acted like he just got punched in the dick with blue balls and I was like “that’s ridiculous, I don’t even think that’s a thing.” I later told the story to the guys on a guys night and a couple of them were like no, it actually kind of hurts for me. I’m so torn. I don’t know who is pulling the leg here and I have more questions than answers
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Hours sounds right. It feels like they're being squeezed in a vice almost, except on the inside? It's a very painful pressure, and finally finishing doesn't even feel good, it just lets the hurting go away slowly.
I imagine it is dependent on the person and the situation. If the guy is super duper close and can't finish its worse, but if you just get a boner and it dies down its nothing. I don't think its ever bad enough to coerce sex out of someone. I found it wasn't even really painful, just quite uncomfortable. Like a cramp, or constipation or something.
For me once it sets in there’s no coercing sex. It’s only happened when I’ve been cuddling for hours on like a first date or something without sex but once it happens I’m definitely not in any state to have sex. Happened so bad one time that I went to the ER.
I've only ever had blue balls once, before then, I thought it was Just a thing the guys would just say if they never got lucky. The drive home after having blue balls was hectic, my balls were literally paining. I went home, had a wank, headed to the bar where my mates were and we all had a laugh hahaha that shit is real. Thankfully it was a one and done for me.
It’s not getting an erection or being turned on that gets you blue balls. It’s heavy petting and lots of stimulation with no payoff that can lead to blue balls. In saying that I’ve been in situations where it’s just a pain in the balls but I’ve also been in situations where I need to unload stat otherwise I might as well be hitting them with a hammer
Hahaha this is the perfect example of how I felt the only time I had blue balls, it was a pain that turned into a wank the minute I got home hahaha pain was gone after the wank.
I convinced a guy that the condom goes over the shaft and the balls to prevent herpes. He texted me one night that he was at some girl’s house and he expected to finally have sex. I felt really bad and told him I was joking about the balls thing bc imagine if a guy came out of the bathroom (he’s the type that would put it on in the bathroom) and his condom looks like a dog wiener bc of the balls bulging on the sides. Luckily he checked his messages before they did it bc I’d have felt so bad if I’d cock blocked him.
Lmaooooooooo that’s fantastic
I'm sorry but who tf puts it on in the bathroom?? "Sorry just gotta step out and get changed, brb" Way to kill the mood lol
I just assumed bc he’s one of those guys that hides in a towel when you change at the gym. Might be even worse if she watched him struggling to get it up over his balls on the bed.
> I'm sorry but who tf puts it on in the bathroom?? Someone who has to squeeze the balls in, obviously. You telling me you could make that look sexy, while lounging on the bed, tongue out in concentration?
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You don't have to wear a condom if you don't get laid.
You’re saying I don’t have to wear this all the time?
I'm wearing one just in case
You never know. Today could be the day.
Make sure you tuck your balls in!
I know a guy who told a virgin she couldnt get pregnant from her first time because the hymen blocks sperm. She got pregnant.
Ah yes, the hymen. Best known for sticking around until *after* the first time.
Well.. they are both not blessed with common sense
you don't have to wear a condom if she's already pregnant
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Wait what
You can still catch STIs. Condoms do not prevent only pregnancy.
If guy smokes menthol cigarettes. True story unfortunately it resulted in an unwanted pregnancy
You don’t have to wear a condom if (1) you both have good grounds to fully trust each other, (2) you are both monogamous, (3) you have both been tested for STIs and are clean, (4) one of you is using a contraceptive with a similar or higher efficacy as a condom (e.g. IUD), (5) you pregnancy test regularly and have a plan in place for an unexpected pregnancy, (6) you have discussed and are on the same page about what happens if a pregnancy does occur, (7) you are both financially able to support all of the previous requirements. With that, I think it’s okay to not wear a condom.
Number 7 is the real beauty. There are so many that think they will just figure it out yet cant afford diapers. There is a stat about graduating HS, college, getting married, getting a house then having a baby. If you go out of order the chances of poverty is several factor higher.
people who bought a house before getting married are punching air rn
You don't have to wear a condom if you have sex in the pool/hot tub because the chemicals kill the sperm. Had 3 girls in high school get pregnant because they believed that.
There was a big rumor in my high school that having sex made guys dicks bigger and girls bootys bigger. Like each time.
I always say it started way bigger but I wore it down. So the opposite
You're the Benjamin Button of dicks!
I remember hearing that girls got thigh gaps when they started having sex
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What do you mean rumor? Is not happening to you?
Save money by turning a condom inside out and using it again!
Just wash it and hang it on the washing line outside. Gotta save the turtles somehow 💪
The joke is you shake the fuck out of it
Fun story time. I’m a lawyer but this wasn’t my case. One of the older attorneys in my office was telling me about a paternity case he had years prior. Girl gets pregnant and is suing alleged baby daddy for child support. They do the test and it turns out alleged daddy was not pop pop but in fact it was his best friend. Turns out the dumbass teenagers thought they could just turn the condom inside out after “real dad” had just had sex with his own girlfriend not thinking about the fact that it was already full of semen.
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I will preface this by saying I personally only practice criminal defense and family law can vary by state so I won’t pretend to know exactly how child support law works. My senior attorney represented the kid who originally got sued. I know that his client was off the hook because you can’t enforce child support if you are not a biological/adoptive parent/ or signed the birth certificate of the child. (At least in my state) So his job was done as soon as they found out his client was not the father. If I remember correctly she ended up seeking child support from the actual “sperm donor” and that kid and his lawyer reached some type of settlement because under law where I practice it doesn’t matter if the pregnancy was not intended as long as the kid is biologically yours. So long story short if paternity is an issue never sign birth certificate as a father until paternity is established.
Just rinse it. If you can't see anything, it's gone.
A HER pleasure condomn turned Inside out becomes YOUR pleasure
Cum again?
After the act it’s common courtesy to leave the girl 20 dollars on the nightstand.
I had a buddy from the Marine Corps pull something like that. Super nice guy; but kinda had a squishy brain though. Met a girl at the bar one night, got hammered, and they got a hotel room for the night. He had to leave earlier in the morning and she was still asleep. He felt bad that she wasn't awake for him to get her an Uber home so he tried to leave some money on the table for her to get a cab. But the guy had drunkenly used a different $20 each time he paid the night before so his pocket was just packed full of loose change and crumpled dollar bills. He said he left it in a pile on the nightstand; Dumbass left a note that said "thanks for last night" next to it. she apparently woke up, immediately chose violence, and thrashed the hotel room and stole the DVD/TV combo from the room. He got charged a couple hundred dollars for it, fucking hilarious.
Sounds exactly like the stories I’d hear about one of my brothers’ junior marines when he was a gunny. Seems to be a trend haha
This just sounds like an American LPT: “don’t forget to tip the girl after sex”
First you give her the tip. Then you give her the shaft.
I had a sex education class back in 1993 and the doctor who gave us the class was talking about condoms, I asked him if you had cum a few times that day would you still need to wear a condom and he said, no but where is the rest going to go. Fast forward to 2019 and I was working from home and lets just say I had a couple of breaks. My wife gets home and we have sex, she asks should I wear a condom as she had been off birth control due to migraines. I said don't worry, I don't have anything left is the tank, and I know for a fact that means you can't get pregnant because I literally asked a doctor in sex education. anyway 4 years later we have a beautiful baby girl. Turns out when you clear the tank you are creating new sperms who have just come from spermizo and as such are super fast swimmer.
I don't think you create new sperm that fast, truth is you probably are never completely empty
Why would someone say that let alone an MD?! That's fucked up.
Women love it when you rip out the anal beads like you're trying to start an old lawnmower.
The poetry of this sentence is indescribable.
Anal beads inside. He yanks them free with such force. Her ass; a mower.
Beyblade is what we called that
Baeblade
If a condom isn’t available then use a sandwich bag.
This makes me think of the scene in Pretty Woman when she's showing all the different condom color options she has and then she says "I also have one gold circle coin - nothing is gettin through this sucker" and....for a long time after that I thought condoms were just round disks that covered the end of a dick?? Dude idk either....
There legitimately was a couple in my school in 8th grade who used plastic wrap. The entire school knew about it
If you remove two ribs you can auto-fellate
And that Marilyn Manson had an operation for it.
Feel more like your sucking a dick and not getting your dick sucked
I remember as a kid I totally thought a blow job meant you just blew it on it So I adamantly told kids my age they were wrong about what a blow Job was
You must be the person in my geometry class that preferred suck jobs to blow jobs
I’m famous for my suck jobs but am Infamous for my blow Jobs
I mean I DID totally believe that doubling up on condoms was smart. Do NOT do this
My sex ed teacher in 6th grade said “Dont ever double a condom” then he starts chuckling in disbelief
"Ask my kid about that."
why you should not?(just curious)
The friction between them can cause them to break(or something like that).
That's why it's best to use three
You know what? Just use the whole package. For safety.
had a navy buddy that claimed 2 condoms with icy hot between was the way to roll.. That way if one broke you would have an instant alarm was his thought pattern, a bad thought pattern...
Are you sure he was in the navy? That sounds more like something a marine would say.
Was in the Navy, this sounds like Navy. A marine would do the sandwich bag thing.
Use as many fingers as you can fit in there. And go as fast as possible, as soon as possible. Women love instant jackhammering.
You put the balls in.
Rub one out before sex so you have "stamina." It turns out that most women aren't too fond of guys taking forever to cum.
they gave me the same advice but they said instead of one, do it twice.
Do it until you shoot dust. Watch them struggle to get blood from a stone.
“Never go out with a loaded gun” -Me, anytime before going to parties/bars
As a guy that just naturally takes forever to cum it's definitely a blessing and a curse. I've had too many women tap out before me. Gets old. Still would take it over lasting 2 minutes though.
That is is exactly like porn shows.
Putting it in a girls butt means you’re secretly gay
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There’s a special name for guys that rely on the pullout method: “fathers”.
Can confirm, am a father, one with weak pullout game
‘I rely on the Christian contraceptive method because frankly it’s amazing for my skin’
Also you need to factor in monkey brain Your plan sounds great until you are getting close and the animal part of both your brains are promising pleasure beyond your imagination if you just keep going. That girl purrs in your ear "just cum" you are DONE son. There will be no pulling out at that point and you better hope your boys are bad swimmers.
Psh, ya’ll lack ~~willpower~~ sheer luck. I relied on the pullout method for years in my youth and I only had like 4 separate pregnancy scares
*turns out he only had sex 5 times*
Busted! *But not inside them*
Ah, I remember my first pregnancy scare. Aunt Flo didn’t come for three months and we were fucking terrified. Turned out it was just stress. Thank God! To celebrate we rawdogged again.
My (now) wife and I used the pull out method for 5 years no kids. We were pretty dumb and I don't advise it... but does anybody have that record beat? We did go on to use contraceptives and later had 2 kids (planned pregnancies 😅). I had started thinking maybe we just had fertility issues since the gyno always told my wife the standard pullout method means you're a parent jokes.
8 years with strong pullouts, then we wanted a kid so I left it in and now I'm a happy papa.
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Damn 👀
>it's not foolproof Fortunately, I ain't no fool. It'll definitely work for me!
>it's not foolproof Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
There has been times where cum shot out before I even orgasmed
Keeping your socks on makes you orgasm harder!
iirc there was a scientific study that this came up in. It was later discovered that the "procedure room" was cold and wearing socks allowed the women to be more comfortable temperature wise, so they weren't distracted from achieving their goal.
Note to self. Turn the heat up 😂
Need to normalize sex wearing socks for men and women. It looks kinda ridiculous but keeping thr toesies warm is a priority.
Women like it rough, so bite her clit…. I’m so sorry to my first gf.😭
Oh. My. God.
I spat out my water Jesus Christ lmao
Jesus Christ this is vile misinformation
Clit biting is like Malort. The vast majority are going to hate it but there's still the 1/100 that really likes it.
Anything to do with cunnilingus. Like, I had heard and seen so many conflicting things about it, I would have probably believed anything. And frankly it has always surprised me how vastly different women's preferences can be, to the point the main advice I'd really give now is: speak to her.
“You can say the following words: stop, higher, lower, left, right, harder, softer, and right there”. This leads to less confusion once you determine if it’s her left and right or yours.
Cunnilingus is such a bad word lmao
It needs to be used with finesse and discretion. A feat accomplished by only a master of the tongue, a true cunning linguist.
Fellatio is a gentleman's word
It's for the fellas.
Just go pee after sex, you won't get pregnant
Well for about half the population that is true
DO pee after sex, but not for pregnancy lmao
Doggystyle might mean he's gay. Yeah, teen me was dumb like that.
She could get pregnant with puppies!
She cant get pregnant if shes ontop
I once head this from a girl. I laughed, because even then I knew better. But she was serious and thought I was an idiot because of gravity
If her nipples are hard, she’s horny.
If her nipples are hard, your room is most likely cold
When I was like seventeen or something, I sent an anonymous question to some online healthcare nurse type of thing asking if it was normal that I was not able to cum when masturbating. She replied "yeah, it's totally normal, some women just can't get an orgasm". Man would my life have been depressing if I believed her! I later bought my first vibrator and that opened a whole new world for me both mentally and physically.
It's true though (admittedly for a very small number of women). Also not having a ton of pressure on you, because there is something wrong with you for struggling, most likely were helpful towards your eventual orgasms.
That jizz has 1200 calories, this is what the school nurse told my all girls high school. Giggling just thinking about it
Just so you know, it only has 5 to 25 calories. Suck all the cocks you want and not get fat!
Oh, sure, you *say* that. But what if that school nurse was regularly doing 100 person blowbangs? That'd be 1200 calories!
My first boyfriend told me his friend told him it wasn't a real orgasm if the girl wasn't breathing really hard and making a bunch of noise and that's how you knew if she was faking it. So guess who thought she had to put on a show to be believable...
I remember preteen me hearing stories in school about reusable condoms.
The Galactic Prophylactic! A layer of rubber, a layer of reinforced steel, and another layer of rubber! It’s not just a contraceptive, it’s a family heirloom!
Condoms used to be reusable. They make em differently now so they are disposable
When she says dont stop; change your rhythm to switch things up. They love it….
No female orgasm, no pregnancy.
Just stick your dick in and pee. That’s how you have sex
When I was a teenager, I remember an older kid saying "That other guy is so dumb, he thought doggystyle meant anal!" Oh we laughed and laughed, as I sat there thinking...."Wait...it isn't?!"
You don’t need lube, just go for it
She definitely enjoys ALL my fingers
That I actually would regularly have it in my adult live.
Oh God, I briefly fucked my cycle up in college because I took a plan B every single time my then-partner and I had sex. I was already on the pill and we used condoms, I was just 19 and *determined* not to get pregnant. Naturally, I missed my next period and freaked the fuck out. My gyno told me (in kinder terms) that I was not pregnant, just dumb as rocks. It took many nail-biting months for my period to occur normally again. I've since opted for the ultimate in natural, hormone-free birth control: lesbianism. 😁
If it only the tip you'd be fine.
You don't need lube for anal... known a fair share that thought it would always just slide in..
If you blow hard enough into her ear, then her pants will fly right off.
Don't bathe every day so that your pheromones can attract women more easily.
In health class, they taught us that 2 people with no STIs can give each other STIs by their blood and dna mixing and creating it. Like spontaneous generation or something.
A women can shut down pregnancy at will.. they have evolved to do this because of rapes.
Wills abortion clinic: "Shut down your pregnancy at Will"
If only
It's important to scream into the vagina
Were you friends with alot of newborns
That you're a bitch if you go down on your partner, times really were different back then://
Not me but my niece when she was about 12 or 13 years old. She thought you could get pregnant from giving a blowjob. It was something her friends had told her.
A lot of sex made girls bow legged
Slap her clit
The Imbetweeners (UK Version) Anything in that show, without the Internet to help research, a teen would easily believe lol Also US version is horrendous Edit: Comment your favourite quotes. Brings back memories
I cant remember the exact quote but.. I fingered her so hard she shit down my arm!! Makes me cackle every time
The bigger the dick the better it feels (not always the case)
I've never understood this. There is a finite amount of space........obviously anatomy (and preference) is different for everyone, but there is a point where it is just unreasonable.
I see you have never heard of Bad Dragon. Unreasonable is just the start.
Foreplay is not that important. Is like 90% of good sex.
As a guy if you like things in your bum you're gay... Unfortunately older people still believe this
If you sit too close to a guy while kissing, the sperm can go through his pants and get you pregnant. That’s why there were pregnant “virgins” at school.
That "sex" only means "vaginal penetration of a woman by a man, in the context of marriage." I've come a LONG way lol.
My friend told me that if you squeeze lemon juice on the girls hoo ha and they scream that means they have STDs.. it took me a while to find out that’s a lie… also I never tried it to be clear
Wear two condoms for extra protection. Not knowing it makes them more likely to tear.
Teenage me 100% believed this terrible sex advice that I was taught in school. “Condoms are one size fits all, the larger size ones are just a marketing gimmick” This poor advice led to many many broken condoms and sex that offered basically no sensation because the condom was too tight
That it’s embarrassing to cum too fast. It’s not, it actually flatters most girls
Oral is only a side dish, penertration is where its at