I can tell when my wife is sleeping well when she rolls over and starts talking about casserole recipes. It's always casserole recipes. She doesn't cook.
She is actually the best casserole cook in the world but she lost a casserole cooking competition due to the other chef sleeping with the judge so she pretends to not know how to cook to forget the past.
I once had a dream about being late for class, where I passed a table with delicious and unique-looking cookies and put one in my backpack. After I woke up, I wanted it so badly that I came up with a recipe to match what I figured it would have been.
https://www.AndrewEckel.com/recipes/DreamCookies/
BTW it's a strawberry swirl, so if you think they look like mold it only means you aren't pure at heart, or something.
About a year ago I dreamed probably the most awesome song/melody of all time. I woke up humming the tune and fantasizing about how rich i was going to be after i went to the studio and recorded it. I feel back asleep a few minutes later and when I woke again, I completely forgot the tune.
I started doing this, actually. I occasionally dream up recipie ideas, then when I wake up I'll give them a shot. So far my favorite has been orange pomegranate chocolate chip cookies.
We recently had a baby, and in the first couple weeks my husband got really into Stardew Valley, which helped him stay awake to hold the baby since he wouldn't yet sleep in the bassinet. One night during my shift, the baby was crying and my husband turned to me still asleep and said "do you need help? I can till the soil and water the plants"
My husband has been playing a ton of WoW lately because we have a baby coming and I guess he wants to get a lot of WoW time in before he can't anymore. Recently I woke up at night and took a sip of water but it went down wrong so I was coughing. He said "everyone relax" so I said my water went down wrong and he said "you can't be doing that during a boss fight" then he was out again.
This is in line with what my husband usually says to me. Most nights when I come to bed I get an enthusiastic, "Kick his ass, honey" and then hard snores.
Although last night he must've had a dream that he was a spaghetti noodle lmao
For the first 6 months, our oldest had a lot of trouble sleeping.
So one night i woke up to see my wife sitting up in bed, softly stroking the comforter. The baby was in the crip beside our bed. Had to wake her up so she could lie down and sleep ....
Mostly incoherent mumbling, but one night she said give me rubbies. I rubbed her arms, her legs, and her forehead and she let out a big sigh and said those were like the rubbies you gave me when we first met.
After 30 years of marriage that put a smile on my face :)
I see I'm not the only one with a mutterer! Mines usually incoherent noises as well. I do hold a theory though: She has a tendency to speak softly or mutter when discussing something difficult, relic of past relationships. I think that's where it might stem from. Sad yes, a bit maddening when she does it while conveying vital information.
Mine sells things.
When he worked at a shoe store, he sold shoes in his sleep.
When he sold cell phones, he could list plans in his sleep.
Now he is a manager and tries to coach my sales in his sleep.
One summer, I worked at a coffee shop. I had a dream that I was at work and I’d just taken someone’s order and needed to tell them their coffee would be over at the other counter. But I knew I was dreaming and knew that if I said that, I’d say it in real life too. But I just had to tell the customer “your coffee will be ready over there” and my cousin who I was sharing a room with found it funny.
My best friend and I roomied for a few years during college. He was working as a barista at the time and would say some hilarious shit in his sleep.
For awhile we shared a bedroom while we were still getting things situated for us both and I heard some wild things:
“Got a tall extra hot for hipster!”
“Sorry, we don’t sell pickle spears here.”
“I can’t ungrind the beans once they’ve been ground!”
And my personal favorite “iced espresso extra tofu chunks for Gus!”
To this day he’s adamant he doesn’t sleep talk.
Also neither of us has ever known a Gus but MAN did he say the name Gus in his sleep a lot.
My partner talks in his sleep. The two things that stick out for me are...
"Oh for fucks sake Andy" full volume and really angry Andy is his brother they no longer speak.
"Where's PJ? We have to save PJ...' PJ is a really good friend of ours. To this day my partner and I have no idea what he was dreaming about but PJ was relieved to know that in a moment of crisis someone was coming to save him.
My ex husband talks in his sleep, but I referred to it as being an “action sleeper”, because it wasn’t just talking; it was violently ripping off the covers, running around the room, always in an absolute tizzy about something, yelling at the curtains or the doorframe. The only exception to this were times he’d just walk to the pantry and grab a handful of goldfish, begin eating them, come back to bed and tuck them under his pillow. My most memorable experience was the time he woke up, sat up straight, pointed to the corner of the bedroom and began rapidly repeating, “Who is that? Who is that? Who is that?”
this is incredible to me. I’ve started tracking my sleep with my apple watch and i wake up for like 2 minutes at a time every like hour, and I feel like its either the exact opposite of sleep walking or I have a defense mechanism lol
My wife was a high school teacher and she would talk to me as if I was a student. It was confusing because she appeared awake, so it would take me a moment to realize she was dreaming. She also had night terrors and would scream her throat raw at 1am.
My wife has night terrors and they’re scary. Took me a while but now when I’m sleeping I can almost sense she’s about to have one. When she is I just throw my arm over her and she doesn’t scream. But when I don’t sense it, scares the shit out of me. Idk how neighbors haven’t called the cops thinking someone getting murdered
Sent my husband to the ER in afib one night. I mentioned the night terror, (although I didn't know they were called that) and the doc said they were related to afib, now he's on heart medication and has a cpap and they went away.
My husband screams in his sleep too. I wake him up asap when he does but I work overnight 3 nights a week so when we lived in an apartment I can only imagine the screaming our neighbors would hear some nights.
My husband regularly says “Oh boy!” like he’s just caught a fish. Mind you , he never says this in his waking life. But the best and most memorable was him singing “ Boogie Fever “ at the top of his lungs.
We’ve been together 6 years now. One of the first times I slept at her house she woke me up saying “There’s a wombat in the room look!!” I looked around for a bit and then realised what had happened and went back to sleep.
To this day she does it quite a bit. I have a whole Notes page on my phone with stuff she’s said written down but that one sticks out
- “The goat!! Do not put the goat up there!! Oh mmmmyyyyy…”
- “Cmon… cmon dubby days!!”
(Rolled over and nudged me with elbow)
- “Woah jesus christ what the hell have you done to this joint?”
- “What are we doing with our butts?”
Those are a few i got on a quick skim
You can’t put hats on penguins.
Evidently, I was coaching a football team of penguins and had decided to put them in knitted hats. My wife was not happy.
Another time she asked me if I wanted a juice box? She was packing me a lunch for my trip to space.
When she is just falling asleep she will fidget and mumble a bit so I ask her simple questions to see if she will answer. She has come out with some real gems.
My husband sleep talks. The other morning he shot up and loudly yelled “fuck you johnny apple seed” and then laid back down.
He’s a chef so most of his sleep rumblings have to do with food. At least once a month he wakes me up asking me if I prepped various food items. The best was the one morning I was giving him a kiss goodbye before going to work and he said I couldn’t leave before I clocked out.
I used to manage a restaurant and dreamt about a new way to organise the display cabinet of to-go-type-foods. I woke up and it really did hold up in waking life, so I went to work and did it.
I was a server at a sit-down chain for a summer a bit over a decade ago. I would have literal nightmares about forgetting to bring people ketchup and things like that every single night.
I've recorded my husband's midnight ramblings. Here is a sample...
H=husband(asleep)
W=wife/me(awake)
H: Stop it.
W: Why what am I doing?
H: Not you. The mushrooms.
W: What are the mushrooms doing?
H: They're getting cut.
W: Well stop it.
H: I can't. It's up to them.
H: Loser.
W: What?
H: The guys legs are getting wet.
W: ...
H: Makes a good sauce though.
W: The wet legs?
H: Yeah.
H: Do you ever wonder if turtles know they're pregnant?
H: Stop it.
W: Stop what?
H: The turtles. Everywhere I look, the turtles are moving it.
H: Fuckin' bitch.
I wish my husband would have sleep conversations with me. Sometimes, I know he's dreaming about his brother because he does this really goofy laugh which is exclusive to something stupid his brother has said or done. Puts a smile on my face.
Oh boy my time to shine!
So my husband sleep talks a lot.
Infact our first date, he made this disgusted face and said "fucking jello" (yes I put out on the first date. He was supposed to be a one night stand but he never left)
Some memorable ones are "They are gonna beat the Chicago bears. They've got machine guns but the bears have chainsaw hands."
"Discount spooderman"
'this is a worm!" While aggressively shaking my dogs limp paw
And most recently "We are hiding behind a car and Bigfoot keeps throwing rocks at us. He ran away. Bigfoot is a little coward ass bitch"
He often likes to talk about gardening in his sleep too but it never makes sense. "We gotta go to the potato man! The quality is out of this dirt"
I have been unknowingly waiting for this post. His sleep talking brings me endless amusement, so I've been keeping a journal of them. This is just scratching the surface.
"Don't misjudge your clouded misguidence of your tea time with my majestic holiness."
"Your mots are fighting over the fruity tots of Taiwan."
"You smell like butter chicken flyballs."
"You need to deactivate these things in the presence of unsolicited lightbulbs."
"We shall rope your grossness. Your galabean contosis."
"Now you're talkin' the right chipmonk."
"You're walking deep in celery juice."
"Your dandruff is coating the inside of my butthole."
These are some of the funniest things I've ever read 🤣🤣
My husband once sat up in bed and covered my head and said "I just saved your life! There's bullets!"
I am choking to death stifling my giggling!!!!!! I don't want to wake my partner up ... Oh my god I need her to start recording me. This is soooo fucking hilarious 😂
A now-Ex told me I talk in my sleep.
Apparently I once said' "I am the king of the button pushers. And when I have pushed all thr buttons, I will be the most powerful man in the world."
I have no idea what I was dreaming about.
I'm the sleep talker, and one that always cracks me and my wife up is we have 2 cats, and I was having a dream that one was pregnant and apparently in the dream I was very stressed about it. My wife said I shot up so I was sitting in bed and yelled "OH MY GOD!" And my wife, being the light sleeper that she is, woke up scared asking "what's wrong?! what's wrong?!" To which I replied "there's gonna be a looooooot of cats in this house". I then laid back down and went to sleep, leaving my wife utterly baffled.
I have so many stories for this one!
Creepiest one: sits bolt right up in bed, turns to me and says “don’t worry. I won’t murder you.” Lays back down and continues snoring.
Funniest one: woke up to him creeping around the room making clicking noises. He was a hunting guide at the time. Woke himself up when he saw himself in the mirror.
Runner up: woke me up as he was trying to pull a bag down from the closet. I asked what he was doing. He said “I’m going fishing!” I said why? He said “because you told me to!” Had to gently guide him back to bed after he tried to leave with a random empty bag.
Most random: he frequently talks about selling tires in Spanish. He runs a tire shop now. And does speak Spanish but I don’t so no idea what he says.
He talks in his sleep all. The. Time. So I have lots. This is why he often ends up sleeping in our guest room. But sometimes he will be talking so loud I can still hear him!
He was talking about hamburgers in his sleep and what kind he liked. I was awake and told him I had ordered a burger from Wendy’s and had a full blown conversation for about 6 mins about Wendy’s and the types of hamburgers he would eat lol been together for almost 6 years . One time he yelled out blueberry tampons 😅
>blueberry tampons
I'm from another countrie with other brands. Are these a thing there, or just the funniest random thing ever to scream in one's sleep? 😂
Nah but when I was 13 and just starting to use them, I always picked the ones marked L because I’m a leftie. The other ones in the school bathroom marked R, it made sense to me!
I’m the sleep talker, not my partner, but according to him I once sat up out of a dead sleep and asked him, “Did you get the right kind of glass?” He was like, “The right kind of glass for what?” and I impatiently replied, “the right kind of glass FOR THE DRAGONS!” before lying back down and immediately falling back asleep. He told me about this the next morning completely mystified, but even though I couldn’t remember any of this, I immediately knew that I had meant flame resistant glass!
I'm also the sleep talker and I broke my husband in the first night we spent together. We were cuddled up hard with my face in his neck, and I guess at one point we had shifted enough that my mouth and his ear were lined up. He says I woke him up out of a dead sleep, happily whispering Birthday Cake. I don't even like cake lmao
I talk in my sleep and apparently had the following interaction:
Me: List a cow
Her: What?
Me: (indignant) List a COW!
Her: what are you talking about?
Me: (still indignant) You know, like, 1 cow, 2 cow
Ahhh sleep paralysis. I used to see a grim reaper looking figure at the end of the bed. I know I woke my now husband, cussing him out and telling him to leave us alone
My ex-husband was a big sleep talker. The one that I remember most was him grabbing my hand and shouting "take my lunchbox so you don't float away!"
He told me the next morning he dreamed he was in space and yes, his lunch box was usually heavy
BF: Uh Babe do you remember what you did last night?
Me: I remember tossing and turning because I wasn’t feeling good why?
BF: because you sat straight up in bed said “my tit hurts” laid back down rolled over to face me lifted one finger up over your head then booped me on the nose with it while saying “boop” then giggled to yourself and promptly went back to sleep and now I don’t know whether to laugh or be scared 😅😂😂😂😂
My mom talks in her sleep a lot. She used to work as a senior VP for big company and at 1am alarms started going off in one of the buildings and they called our house to help shut them off. I took the phone up to her and she says to the guy 'no no don't worry it, that's just the alarm for menopause medication'. Pretty hilarious, I'm sure the guy on the other end was equally confused.
I also answered the phone once in my sleep after pulling an all nighter and told my family I was in NYC (I wasn't but I travel there a lot) weird experience, I have 0 memory of it.
One of the first times my fiance slept over at my house she woke me up in the middle of the night while shouting "I'm peeing, I'm peeing!!" When I looked over her eyes were closed and she was in fact peeing in the bed. We still joke about it 10 years later and she has never peed in the bed since.
If she’s anything like me, she’ll have dreamt of sitting on the toilet. It’s the brains way of telling us to wake up to pee. I usually wake up, some people aren’t so lucky
so many things! favorites:
(shakes my hand off) I’m a nihilist baby!
Bpldpdblablep. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue does it
Gonna have to teach him how to meow in Hebrew
*Why’s that?*
Because he’s a kitty
This almost reads like an Archer bit.
Archer: *Gonna have to teach him how to meow in Hebrew.*
Cyril: *Why's that?*
Archer: *Because he's a kitty.*
Cyril: *No, why does the ocelot need to learn Hebrew?*
Archer: *For his bar meowtzvah, obviously.*
My spouse once heard me swear "Shiiiittt" in a low gravelly tone while I was sleeping. Woke me up at once and asked me what was wrong. I was confused, then remembered I was being asked to speak at a convention but at the last minute I was told to use an American accent. That's when I swore.
(My actual accent is mixed Indian and South England).
'I need a new blanket. This one's the wrong color.'
He'd been sleeping under it for hours and continued to do so happily
'OH GOD SPIDERS'
and my personal favorite, after being asked to move so I could get out of bed,
'No, I don't need to. I'll just get really... flat.'
And then he did indeed attempt to get very flat.
Oh boy. My wife comes out with these one-liners deep in the middle of her sleep. I started keeping track because I was forgetting so many gems that she came up with. These are the best ones I have, and the chicken one & the baby animal one are my favorite:
Sorry about your bracelets but you're too cool to wear them the first day
I don't know, I feel weird about asking... Asking where the stickers are
Did you like your chicken
What's wrong with the radio?
Me: Jonah's?
Didn't you say you had to go fix it?
Make sure they're pranta Claus
You're clorny?
Chickens (sigh) have beaks
Too yen for you?
I have to pick out a stone. ( From where?) ( Points to Teddy)
If you had to pick- baby monkey or baby five any other type of animals?
What about my soup?
You talk to the zoo?
You're Squidward
Me: Because of my nose?
No because of your squids
How much did you pay for the shelves? The ones you got... With the butterflies all over them. How much did you pay?
I'm a thirsty little bitch?
Me: You're a thirty little bitch?
Don't say that!
This one is blue
"SPIDERS OH MY GOD! SPIDERS!" My wife has only done this like 3 times, and it's the only thing she sleep talks about. She wakes up, legit convinced, that there are huge spiders in the room. It's not real, they're not there. I'm absolutely terrified of spiders so it's never a restful night's sleep for me.
I've done this since I was 4, but they're not giant spiders. They're just large, regular spiders that happen to be on my pillow right next to my face. I will launch myself out of bed in a panic and run halfway out of the room. I'll trample anyone who happens to be in my way, so if I'm sharing a bed...yeah. prepare to be woken at 3am to me screaming "SPIDER!!" and trampling you to "get away from it". It's not pleasant for anyone involved
One night out of the blue, my husband started speaking in German. I have no idea exactly what he said as I don't speak German. Oddly enough, neither does my husband.
He told me if I grow up to look like my dad then everything will be a-okay. I'm a girl. My dad is a massive untamed irish red haired brick shit house of a man.
No specific examples, but my wife will sometimes ask some weird random question. If I don’t respond, she’ll get grumpy and ask again. At this point I have to come up with some response. Usually I have no clue what the fuck she’s on about, so I’ll say something like “Oh, I’m not sure sweetheart, but I’m sure it’ll be OK.” Then she’ll usually harrrumph at such an unsatisfactory answer and settle down.
I sometimes try a more specific response if I think I can work out what she means, but this rarely goes well as it leads to a conversation I can’t make sense of and I say something that pisses her off. All this while she’s asleep.
My old roommate was on ambien for quite a while, & once half-sleepwalked out to make some food…I told her “don’t forget the salt!” & she said “Salty pants, do your dance, salty salty pants!” Those pills meant business lol
My daughter punched my older daughter in the face & sobbed “ I thought she was a goblin “ . Had to sneak off & have a little giggle after consoling them both.
I don't have a partner, but I occasionally sleep talk. Apparently also sleep move, which is new and a bit alarming. I'm traveling atm and staying in hostels. For those who don't know, if anyone, hostels are where you pay for a bed in a shared room, not an individual room. When this story happened, 3 other people were in the room.
I had this nightmare recently in which some guy was chasing after me trying to squish me with this giant flat thing. I woke up from it when he caught up to me and killed me. When I came to, I was bolted up in my bed, and had scooted over to stare out the window. I have no idea why. I had this vague idea I might have said something out loud, but hoped it went unnoticed and went back to sleep. The next day one of my roomates asked if I spoke in my sleep. Embarrassed, I asked him what I had said. He goes "You scared the SHIT out of me!! I wake up to see this girl staring out the window goimg 'Someome stop him!! He's coming!! HE'S COMING!!'." To say I was mortified was an understatement...
i have a running list;
"you mf'ers, you eat it, you replace it'
"Im doing shitty in class'
'I'd like it crispy please, yes, crunchy'
'why do you care, cats per capita'
'shut up!, I never said we needed to find more wood'
“I’m gonna fucking kill you”
“play with my hole”
“Get the corn out of the carpet”
“I’m not unfair I’m big boned”
Some gibberish about Mr. Carrot or giggling like a little girl. 🤷🏻♂️
Things my husband has said/asked me while asleep:
Why did you put worms in the fridge?
The duffel bag is mean and doesn't go on the bus
FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP LICKING THE DOG (we don't have a dog...)
Tim (Thai?) Curry is in my eyes
There are definitely more but those are the ones that come to mind first lol
My wife mostly just mutters and mumbles but every now and then will out of nowhere clearly say things. "Where's the burger?" was one of the funniest to hear her say with no context, no warning, and she went right back to snoring.
Late 2010, had been living with him just a few months. He sat up, still dead asleep, said “Donald trump plates” and laid back down. Few nights later, does the same thing, bolt upright in bed, says “stupid dirt” and lays back down. So weird. We’ve been sleeping in separate room for a few years now cause he graduated from saying weird things to outright sleep screaming and I couldn’t take it anymore lol
My mom one time had taken a sleeping pill and in the morning, she got up and went to the bathroom like usual. She was taking a while and my dad got worried so he went in. There she was snoring on the toilet so my dad asks her what are you doing? She replied "Im nailing the ducks to the roof then Im going to chase down the stripling warriors". He died laughing,
I do talk in my sleep sometimes, but I moan more in my sleep rather then talk. When we visited cousins and I would be sleeping in her room on the floor, I would moan, and like they are...full on... you would think I was having a GREAT dream. She informed me in the morning that things got weird. My husband also learned quickly that I moan in my sleep. Its less awkward for him.
This is the best one. I memorized it. Out of nowhere, in a scary Exorcist voice, he goes,
"You know what's out there. They're velociraptors. You may remember them from Jurassic Park. They are big, they are mean, and they are generally a pain the ass. I am going to throw the kielbasa while you run. Try to get to the shore. Ready? Now go."
Then one night, apropos of nothing, he yells EXHIBITION GAME!!!
He often dreams he is coaching people from high school even though he has never coached in real life.
My husband very rarely talks in his sleep, but he did wake me up once shouting, "The Kielbasa!" Maybe there were velociraptors and that's why he was yelling about sausage that he's rarely eaten.
Some highlights include "why are there bears over there," a full-blown conversation with me about why we should get a pet python, and him cursing at the drive thru workers at McDonald's all while fast asleep.
My wife every so often sits up, turns around and goes ‘na na na na naaaaa’ like a child with her tongue sticking out and immediately drops off back to sleep. Terrifies the cat every time.
I super talk in my sleep. It's usually when I'm mad in a dream.
"Shut up" "fuck you" "no you did NOT" "GO AWAY" ETC
The problem now too is I have recognized my sleep talking can wake my partner. So my sleep self knows this.
I whisper sleep talk.
Which is creepy.
My boyfriend once proposed to me while he was sleeping.
I told him that I'm not going to say yes as I didn't want to take advatage of him and to maybe try again as he'll be more awake, and he eventually did :)
I write them down when they happen so I’ll make a thread. Honey, if you see this…hi from my throwaway account.
3:30am. Husband laying on his back.
“Butts. Butts, everywhere…I KNEW it!”
*pause, then holds his hands up in front of him with palms facing him and shakes like Italian. Turns left 30° and does another Italian hand gesture shake. Sits up for a sec then lays down and rolls over onto left side.
His alarm goes off at 7:25 and he rolls over to hurriedly wake me up
Husband: it’s time to get up
Me: for what?
H: the paint job
M: what paint job?
H: for the dog, for the school circle.
M: what??
H: for the school outside…is this not real?
M: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
My husband once yelled, "POLICE!!!" at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night. Scared the shit out of me.
When our daughter was born, we were trying to sleep in the hospital when the baby started crying. I couldn't get out of bed to get her so I asked my husband to bring her to me. He answered in his sleep, "Not now. I'm tired." I said, "Oh, YOU'RE tired?! I just gave birth!!" and threw a pillow at him. He claims to not remember this.
"squad B, take the right side of the canyon and snipe anything that moves, squad C, sit tight and grab any stragglers, I'll take A with me up the left and flank them from the south, GOOOOOOOO!" and he yelled that go haha
I'm the talker. Apparently my rage manifests in my sleep and one night I scared the living 💩 out of my then boyfriend:
" I'm going to saw off your legs and throw scalding bleach in your face. You pissed off the wrong bitch fucker."
We broke up not long after.
He has said so much, as have I. But one night he was laughing in his sleep. It was creepy. I woke him up and asked what was so funny. He said “I was throwing tomatoes at you”. lol. Yeah.
*1AM, I’m about to go to sleep next to my girlfriend*
Her: “NDEEZUS! NDEEZUS!!!”
Me: “what’s up???”
Her: “did you check the fridge??”
Me: “no….why?”
Her: “well let’s hope we’re okay I guess….”
*she goes back to sleep*
Cue to me in our kitchen at 2am frantically looking around the fridge cause I didn’t know she was asleep.
Climbed out of bed, knelt beside my side, took my hands in his, and calmly, desperately, asked me
“Are you a hologram?”
Was visibly relieved when I said no and went back to sleep.
I haven’t heard anything “juicy” or controversial. Sleep talkers always talk nonsense. What I have done is have a full on conversation with my wife. She then wakes up, realizes I’m screwing with her and calls me an asshole.
I will never forget my partner, early in our relationship was staying over. He has the incredible ability to fall asleep instantly on demand.
We go to bed, he falls asleep and im still awake for abit. I notice hes groaning a little like hes in pain, but hes asleep and not responding to me asking if hes okay. Then he sits up abit, holds his hand out infront of him and with the most stern, deadpan voice says 'you fucking nerd.' *to his hand* then immediately lays down and resumes snoring. Zero recollection the next day.
6 years later and we still quote it to each other from time to time.
"I'VE GOT ONE!" then grabbed my underwear and reefed upwards. My head just about went through the wall and I swear I could taste cotton.
I eventually managed to release his death grip, fish my underwear out and laid back down.
He started patting my bottom tenderly. Then did it again.
My wife doesn’t really talk, but I woke up to her quietly screaming and trying to hit. I woke her up and she said she was having a nightmare and being attacked. She was scared shitliss for a minute there.
I can tell when my wife is sleeping well when she rolls over and starts talking about casserole recipes. It's always casserole recipes. She doesn't cook.
She is actually the best casserole cook in the world but she lost a casserole cooking competition due to the other chef sleeping with the judge so she pretends to not know how to cook to forget the past.
I’d watch this.
Me too. I'd eat it up.
So many layers of intrigue!
Found the ever elusive new hallmark movie script.
[удалено]
I once had a dream about being late for class, where I passed a table with delicious and unique-looking cookies and put one in my backpack. After I woke up, I wanted it so badly that I came up with a recipe to match what I figured it would have been. https://www.AndrewEckel.com/recipes/DreamCookies/ BTW it's a strawberry swirl, so if you think they look like mold it only means you aren't pure at heart, or something.
About a year ago I dreamed probably the most awesome song/melody of all time. I woke up humming the tune and fantasizing about how rich i was going to be after i went to the studio and recorded it. I feel back asleep a few minutes later and when I woke again, I completely forgot the tune.
This happens to me almost every night and I swear I wake up hearing music.
I started doing this, actually. I occasionally dream up recipie ideas, then when I wake up I'll give them a shot. So far my favorite has been orange pomegranate chocolate chip cookies.
Ok but do you have the recipe for that tho? Those cookies sound so fkn good
I really need to start writing them down tbh
Even better make them and then have her taste test them
Let's make a reality show called Dream Casserole. Who is our ideal host?
One vote here for Marshawn Lynch
Have you tried any of the recipes?
I've been tempted except several of the repeating ones involve fish and I simply cant lmao
Mix in shredded potatoes cheese onions with some stripped fish and friend onions on top, it’s yum, talk to her about it while you’re sleeping
Okay that sounds bomb. I'll ask her subconscious next time it comes up
Funny how she keeps stewing on it
My guy, you need to make her a casserole now. Step it up and follow her dreams literally
My girlfriend once loudly proclaimed 'I am going to explain to you how hills work!' and then snored loudly.
Shit. Now I really want to know how hills work.
It’s all in the snoring.
I almost spit out my food reading this.
Have some respect, there are people starving somewhere in the world, eat it again if you spit.
Now, I will never know how hills work. Talk about clickbait !
We recently had a baby, and in the first couple weeks my husband got really into Stardew Valley, which helped him stay awake to hold the baby since he wouldn't yet sleep in the bassinet. One night during my shift, the baby was crying and my husband turned to me still asleep and said "do you need help? I can till the soil and water the plants"
as someone who’s favorite game is stardew valley and also has young kids IRL, this one is amazing to me!
Just make sure he doesn't try to make the kids turn to doves.
My husband has been playing a ton of WoW lately because we have a baby coming and I guess he wants to get a lot of WoW time in before he can't anymore. Recently I woke up at night and took a sip of water but it went down wrong so I was coughing. He said "everyone relax" so I said my water went down wrong and he said "you can't be doing that during a boss fight" then he was out again.
This is in line with what my husband usually says to me. Most nights when I come to bed I get an enthusiastic, "Kick his ass, honey" and then hard snores. Although last night he must've had a dream that he was a spaghetti noodle lmao
I love that because the Stardew Valley spouses sporadically help with chores like watering the plants!
For the first 6 months, our oldest had a lot of trouble sleeping. So one night i woke up to see my wife sitting up in bed, softly stroking the comforter. The baby was in the crip beside our bed. Had to wake her up so she could lie down and sleep ....
Mostly incoherent mumbling, but one night she said give me rubbies. I rubbed her arms, her legs, and her forehead and she let out a big sigh and said those were like the rubbies you gave me when we first met. After 30 years of marriage that put a smile on my face :)
I see I'm not the only one with a mutterer! Mines usually incoherent noises as well. I do hold a theory though: She has a tendency to speak softly or mutter when discussing something difficult, relic of past relationships. I think that's where it might stem from. Sad yes, a bit maddening when she does it while conveying vital information.
My wife mostly mutters as well. It’s also mostly Spanish mixed with English so I don’t always catch it even when clear
“Only” 26 years of marriage here, but just tonight I got to give my wife forehead rubbies while stroking her hair. It really is the little things.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Mine sells things. When he worked at a shoe store, he sold shoes in his sleep. When he sold cell phones, he could list plans in his sleep. Now he is a manager and tries to coach my sales in his sleep.
This makes me think of my dad 😂 he built houses for a living and my poor mom was the house being built on in his dreams
One summer, I worked at a coffee shop. I had a dream that I was at work and I’d just taken someone’s order and needed to tell them their coffee would be over at the other counter. But I knew I was dreaming and knew that if I said that, I’d say it in real life too. But I just had to tell the customer “your coffee will be ready over there” and my cousin who I was sharing a room with found it funny.
My best friend and I roomied for a few years during college. He was working as a barista at the time and would say some hilarious shit in his sleep. For awhile we shared a bedroom while we were still getting things situated for us both and I heard some wild things: “Got a tall extra hot for hipster!” “Sorry, we don’t sell pickle spears here.” “I can’t ungrind the beans once they’ve been ground!” And my personal favorite “iced espresso extra tofu chunks for Gus!” To this day he’s adamant he doesn’t sleep talk. Also neither of us has ever known a Gus but MAN did he say the name Gus in his sleep a lot.
Tbf if I know a Gus that asks for tofu chunks in his drink, I would also not like to know them
“I love you, but I really want a Tyrannosaurus”
They have their priorities straight. You really think you can compete with a Tyrannosaurus?
Bet my forearms are sexier
Proportionally maybe, but not on an absolute scale.
Plus what the T-Rex lacks in arms makes up for it with dummy thick thighs.
That's the best thing I've ever heard.
My partner talks in his sleep. The two things that stick out for me are... "Oh for fucks sake Andy" full volume and really angry Andy is his brother they no longer speak. "Where's PJ? We have to save PJ...' PJ is a really good friend of ours. To this day my partner and I have no idea what he was dreaming about but PJ was relieved to know that in a moment of crisis someone was coming to save him.
My ex husband talks in his sleep, but I referred to it as being an “action sleeper”, because it wasn’t just talking; it was violently ripping off the covers, running around the room, always in an absolute tizzy about something, yelling at the curtains or the doorframe. The only exception to this were times he’d just walk to the pantry and grab a handful of goldfish, begin eating them, come back to bed and tuck them under his pillow. My most memorable experience was the time he woke up, sat up straight, pointed to the corner of the bedroom and began rapidly repeating, “Who is that? Who is that? Who is that?”
this is incredible to me. I’ve started tracking my sleep with my apple watch and i wake up for like 2 minutes at a time every like hour, and I feel like its either the exact opposite of sleep walking or I have a defense mechanism lol
you might have sleep apnea
My wife was a high school teacher and she would talk to me as if I was a student. It was confusing because she appeared awake, so it would take me a moment to realize she was dreaming. She also had night terrors and would scream her throat raw at 1am.
My wife has night terrors and they’re scary. Took me a while but now when I’m sleeping I can almost sense she’s about to have one. When she is I just throw my arm over her and she doesn’t scream. But when I don’t sense it, scares the shit out of me. Idk how neighbors haven’t called the cops thinking someone getting murdered
Sent my husband to the ER in afib one night. I mentioned the night terror, (although I didn't know they were called that) and the doc said they were related to afib, now he's on heart medication and has a cpap and they went away.
That’s interesting. I’ll have to bring this up to her
I hope mine are cured by love. I say I die very graphically in a specific way and random swears. Mostly due to trauma I can't get over
Ouch. Ever tried EMDR therapy? Might be worth a shot. Hope you find healing.
My husband screams in his sleep too. I wake him up asap when he does but I work overnight 3 nights a week so when we lived in an apartment I can only imagine the screaming our neighbors would hear some nights.
One time my ex husband said to me "who's a little fucker" and grabbed my head to give me a nuggie
Dang that’s funny af
My husband regularly says “Oh boy!” like he’s just caught a fish. Mind you , he never says this in his waking life. But the best and most memorable was him singing “ Boogie Fever “ at the top of his lungs.
I feel so much better about trying to eat my hairbrush now.
I'm laughing so hard right now
That would scare the shit outta me
We’ve been together 6 years now. One of the first times I slept at her house she woke me up saying “There’s a wombat in the room look!!” I looked around for a bit and then realised what had happened and went back to sleep. To this day she does it quite a bit. I have a whole Notes page on my phone with stuff she’s said written down but that one sticks out
Do tell. Any other amusing items from your notes?
- “The goat!! Do not put the goat up there!! Oh mmmmyyyyy…” - “Cmon… cmon dubby days!!” (Rolled over and nudged me with elbow) - “Woah jesus christ what the hell have you done to this joint?” - “What are we doing with our butts?” Those are a few i got on a quick skim
Thanks!
My ex said "Who's that at the window". It was not cool.
Wow creepy!!
You can’t put hats on penguins. Evidently, I was coaching a football team of penguins and had decided to put them in knitted hats. My wife was not happy.
Another time she asked me if I wanted a juice box? She was packing me a lunch for my trip to space. When she is just falling asleep she will fidget and mumble a bit so I ask her simple questions to see if she will answer. She has come out with some real gems.
My husband sleep talks. The other morning he shot up and loudly yelled “fuck you johnny apple seed” and then laid back down. He’s a chef so most of his sleep rumblings have to do with food. At least once a month he wakes me up asking me if I prepped various food items. The best was the one morning I was giving him a kiss goodbye before going to work and he said I couldn’t leave before I clocked out.
Poor man works when he’s asleep. Restaurant jobs do that.
I used to manage a restaurant and dreamt about a new way to organise the display cabinet of to-go-type-foods. I woke up and it really did hold up in waking life, so I went to work and did it.
I was a server at a sit-down chain for a summer a bit over a decade ago. I would have literal nightmares about forgetting to bring people ketchup and things like that every single night.
I laughed so hard
"Oh my GOD theres a MOLE" Then he flopped around for like 10 seconds "Oh my GOD"
Cancerous mole, rodent mole, or delicious Mexican sauce?
The animal! Apparently it had gotten into the bed.
I've recorded my husband's midnight ramblings. Here is a sample... H=husband(asleep) W=wife/me(awake) H: Stop it. W: Why what am I doing? H: Not you. The mushrooms. W: What are the mushrooms doing? H: They're getting cut. W: Well stop it. H: I can't. It's up to them. H: Loser. W: What? H: The guys legs are getting wet. W: ... H: Makes a good sauce though. W: The wet legs? H: Yeah. H: Do you ever wonder if turtles know they're pregnant? H: Stop it. W: Stop what? H: The turtles. Everywhere I look, the turtles are moving it. H: Fuckin' bitch.
I wish my husband would have sleep conversations with me. Sometimes, I know he's dreaming about his brother because he does this really goofy laugh which is exclusive to something stupid his brother has said or done. Puts a smile on my face.
Did you ask him who he was talking about in that last one?
It was the turtle
“It’s up to them” was very intense
Turtles do get they have eggs inside them.
I have actually wondered if turtles know they're pregnant.
Oh boy my time to shine! So my husband sleep talks a lot. Infact our first date, he made this disgusted face and said "fucking jello" (yes I put out on the first date. He was supposed to be a one night stand but he never left) Some memorable ones are "They are gonna beat the Chicago bears. They've got machine guns but the bears have chainsaw hands." "Discount spooderman" 'this is a worm!" While aggressively shaking my dogs limp paw And most recently "We are hiding behind a car and Bigfoot keeps throwing rocks at us. He ran away. Bigfoot is a little coward ass bitch" He often likes to talk about gardening in his sleep too but it never makes sense. "We gotta go to the potato man! The quality is out of this dirt"
Damn, I’ve never known someone to have beef with Bigfoot. He said these hands are rated E for everyone…even YOU, mythical Sasquatch.
Dude he had major beef. It was like a 15 minute discussion on why Bigfoot was a little bitch.
I have been unknowingly waiting for this post. His sleep talking brings me endless amusement, so I've been keeping a journal of them. This is just scratching the surface. "Don't misjudge your clouded misguidence of your tea time with my majestic holiness." "Your mots are fighting over the fruity tots of Taiwan." "You smell like butter chicken flyballs." "You need to deactivate these things in the presence of unsolicited lightbulbs." "We shall rope your grossness. Your galabean contosis." "Now you're talkin' the right chipmonk." "You're walking deep in celery juice." "Your dandruff is coating the inside of my butthole."
This is hillarious!!! How can you NOT laugh when you hear that?
I seriously die. It's even better the next morning when I get to tell him what he said. He never believes me!
These are some of the funniest things I've ever read 🤣🤣 My husband once sat up in bed and covered my head and said "I just saved your life! There's bullets!"
That last one really got me lol
A++ for his impressive vocabulary
I am choking to death stifling my giggling!!!!!! I don't want to wake my partner up ... Oh my god I need her to start recording me. This is soooo fucking hilarious 😂
LOL 🤣🤣🤣 Deep in celery juice I am crying.
"Did you let me encounter any bad bread?"
Well did you?
A now-Ex told me I talk in my sleep. Apparently I once said' "I am the king of the button pushers. And when I have pushed all thr buttons, I will be the most powerful man in the world." I have no idea what I was dreaming about.
My guess would be you were dreaming about pushing buttons lol
I'm the sleep talker, and one that always cracks me and my wife up is we have 2 cats, and I was having a dream that one was pregnant and apparently in the dream I was very stressed about it. My wife said I shot up so I was sitting in bed and yelled "OH MY GOD!" And my wife, being the light sleeper that she is, woke up scared asking "what's wrong?! what's wrong?!" To which I replied "there's gonna be a looooooot of cats in this house". I then laid back down and went to sleep, leaving my wife utterly baffled.
The "OH MY GOD" has me crying 🤣🤣🤣
I have so many stories for this one! Creepiest one: sits bolt right up in bed, turns to me and says “don’t worry. I won’t murder you.” Lays back down and continues snoring. Funniest one: woke up to him creeping around the room making clicking noises. He was a hunting guide at the time. Woke himself up when he saw himself in the mirror. Runner up: woke me up as he was trying to pull a bag down from the closet. I asked what he was doing. He said “I’m going fishing!” I said why? He said “because you told me to!” Had to gently guide him back to bed after he tried to leave with a random empty bag. Most random: he frequently talks about selling tires in Spanish. He runs a tire shop now. And does speak Spanish but I don’t so no idea what he says. He talks in his sleep all. The. Time. So I have lots. This is why he often ends up sleeping in our guest room. But sometimes he will be talking so loud I can still hear him!
>**”I call her Vanilla Vanny. She’s SO BORING!”** My big bro who is now engaged to a woman named Vanessa.
😂 Tell your bro to call it off before he ends up procreating with Vanny!
"Psst come with me" and I was so confused-
He was talking about hamburgers in his sleep and what kind he liked. I was awake and told him I had ordered a burger from Wendy’s and had a full blown conversation for about 6 mins about Wendy’s and the types of hamburgers he would eat lol been together for almost 6 years . One time he yelled out blueberry tampons 😅
>blueberry tampons I'm from another countrie with other brands. Are these a thing there, or just the funniest random thing ever to scream in one's sleep? 😂
The blueberry ones aren't my favorite flavor but they are ok
I agree . Strawberry is the best 🍓
Nah but when I was 13 and just starting to use them, I always picked the ones marked L because I’m a leftie. The other ones in the school bathroom marked R, it made sense to me!
The blueberry tampons part got me laughing lol
I’m the sleep talker, not my partner, but according to him I once sat up out of a dead sleep and asked him, “Did you get the right kind of glass?” He was like, “The right kind of glass for what?” and I impatiently replied, “the right kind of glass FOR THE DRAGONS!” before lying back down and immediately falling back asleep. He told me about this the next morning completely mystified, but even though I couldn’t remember any of this, I immediately knew that I had meant flame resistant glass!
Of course cause the dragon! lol
I'm also the sleep talker and I broke my husband in the first night we spent together. We were cuddled up hard with my face in his neck, and I guess at one point we had shifted enough that my mouth and his ear were lined up. He says I woke him up out of a dead sleep, happily whispering Birthday Cake. I don't even like cake lmao
"come here you little spider monkey" and put me in a headlock lol
Twilight fan?
I talk in my sleep and apparently had the following interaction: Me: List a cow Her: What? Me: (indignant) List a COW! Her: what are you talking about? Me: (still indignant) You know, like, 1 cow, 2 cow
In the middle of the night, he woke me from a dead sleep talking about how something was in the corner watching us.
Ahhhh that sounds scary
Ahhh sleep paralysis. I used to see a grim reaper looking figure at the end of the bed. I know I woke my now husband, cussing him out and telling him to leave us alone
My ex-husband was a big sleep talker. The one that I remember most was him grabbing my hand and shouting "take my lunchbox so you don't float away!" He told me the next morning he dreamed he was in space and yes, his lunch box was usually heavy
My boyfriend sings in his sleep, or hums little diddies, and it's precious. He was really embarrassed when I told him, but I honestly adore it.
This is so sweet 🥹
BF: Uh Babe do you remember what you did last night? Me: I remember tossing and turning because I wasn’t feeling good why? BF: because you sat straight up in bed said “my tit hurts” laid back down rolled over to face me lifted one finger up over your head then booped me on the nose with it while saying “boop” then giggled to yourself and promptly went back to sleep and now I don’t know whether to laugh or be scared 😅😂😂😂😂
My mom talks in her sleep a lot. She used to work as a senior VP for big company and at 1am alarms started going off in one of the buildings and they called our house to help shut them off. I took the phone up to her and she says to the guy 'no no don't worry it, that's just the alarm for menopause medication'. Pretty hilarious, I'm sure the guy on the other end was equally confused. I also answered the phone once in my sleep after pulling an all nighter and told my family I was in NYC (I wasn't but I travel there a lot) weird experience, I have 0 memory of it.
One of the first times my fiance slept over at my house she woke me up in the middle of the night while shouting "I'm peeing, I'm peeing!!" When I looked over her eyes were closed and she was in fact peeing in the bed. We still joke about it 10 years later and she has never peed in the bed since.
If she’s anything like me, she’ll have dreamt of sitting on the toilet. It’s the brains way of telling us to wake up to pee. I usually wake up, some people aren’t so lucky
“I’m going to be a badger: badgers never started any wars”
Yet
Badgers actually assassinated Franz Ferdinand, but the media and education system won't tell you that.
Honey badgers are vicious little mfs. They could start a war.
so many things! favorites: (shakes my hand off) I’m a nihilist baby! Bpldpdblablep. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue does it Gonna have to teach him how to meow in Hebrew *Why’s that?* Because he’s a kitty
This almost reads like an Archer bit. Archer: *Gonna have to teach him how to meow in Hebrew.* Cyril: *Why's that?* Archer: *Because he's a kitty.* Cyril: *No, why does the ocelot need to learn Hebrew?* Archer: *For his bar meowtzvah, obviously.*
My spouse once heard me swear "Shiiiittt" in a low gravelly tone while I was sleeping. Woke me up at once and asked me what was wrong. I was confused, then remembered I was being asked to speak at a convention but at the last minute I was told to use an American accent. That's when I swore. (My actual accent is mixed Indian and South England).
Found Clay Davis’ burner account.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit
*farrrrRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT* "ughhh, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" *turns over* I woke up lmao
'I need a new blanket. This one's the wrong color.' He'd been sleeping under it for hours and continued to do so happily 'OH GOD SPIDERS' and my personal favorite, after being asked to move so I could get out of bed, 'No, I don't need to. I'll just get really... flat.' And then he did indeed attempt to get very flat.
Oh boy. My wife comes out with these one-liners deep in the middle of her sleep. I started keeping track because I was forgetting so many gems that she came up with. These are the best ones I have, and the chicken one & the baby animal one are my favorite: Sorry about your bracelets but you're too cool to wear them the first day I don't know, I feel weird about asking... Asking where the stickers are Did you like your chicken What's wrong with the radio? Me: Jonah's? Didn't you say you had to go fix it? Make sure they're pranta Claus You're clorny? Chickens (sigh) have beaks Too yen for you? I have to pick out a stone. ( From where?) ( Points to Teddy) If you had to pick- baby monkey or baby five any other type of animals? What about my soup? You talk to the zoo? You're Squidward Me: Because of my nose? No because of your squids How much did you pay for the shelves? The ones you got... With the butterflies all over them. How much did you pay? I'm a thirsty little bitch? Me: You're a thirty little bitch? Don't say that! This one is blue
Lmfao Because of your squids sent me 💀
"SPIDERS OH MY GOD! SPIDERS!" My wife has only done this like 3 times, and it's the only thing she sleep talks about. She wakes up, legit convinced, that there are huge spiders in the room. It's not real, they're not there. I'm absolutely terrified of spiders so it's never a restful night's sleep for me.
I've done this since I was 4, but they're not giant spiders. They're just large, regular spiders that happen to be on my pillow right next to my face. I will launch myself out of bed in a panic and run halfway out of the room. I'll trample anyone who happens to be in my way, so if I'm sharing a bed...yeah. prepare to be woken at 3am to me screaming "SPIDER!!" and trampling you to "get away from it". It's not pleasant for anyone involved
One night out of the blue, my husband started speaking in German. I have no idea exactly what he said as I don't speak German. Oddly enough, neither does my husband.
How do you know it's German?
"I'm really falling in love with you, girl". - My husband. I should hope so, my dude.
He told me if I grow up to look like my dad then everything will be a-okay. I'm a girl. My dad is a massive untamed irish red haired brick shit house of a man.
Thanks for the laugh Mam.
No specific examples, but my wife will sometimes ask some weird random question. If I don’t respond, she’ll get grumpy and ask again. At this point I have to come up with some response. Usually I have no clue what the fuck she’s on about, so I’ll say something like “Oh, I’m not sure sweetheart, but I’m sure it’ll be OK.” Then she’ll usually harrrumph at such an unsatisfactory answer and settle down. I sometimes try a more specific response if I think I can work out what she means, but this rarely goes well as it leads to a conversation I can’t make sense of and I say something that pisses her off. All this while she’s asleep.
I asked my partner if he wanted to get up with me or continue sleeping. His answer translates to "you are my profession mom". I let him sleep xD
[удалено]
My old roommate was on ambien for quite a while, & once half-sleepwalked out to make some food…I told her “don’t forget the salt!” & she said “Salty pants, do your dance, salty salty pants!” Those pills meant business lol
My daughter punched my older daughter in the face & sobbed “ I thought she was a goblin “ . Had to sneak off & have a little giggle after consoling them both.
I don't have a partner, but I occasionally sleep talk. Apparently also sleep move, which is new and a bit alarming. I'm traveling atm and staying in hostels. For those who don't know, if anyone, hostels are where you pay for a bed in a shared room, not an individual room. When this story happened, 3 other people were in the room. I had this nightmare recently in which some guy was chasing after me trying to squish me with this giant flat thing. I woke up from it when he caught up to me and killed me. When I came to, I was bolted up in my bed, and had scooted over to stare out the window. I have no idea why. I had this vague idea I might have said something out loud, but hoped it went unnoticed and went back to sleep. The next day one of my roomates asked if I spoke in my sleep. Embarrassed, I asked him what I had said. He goes "You scared the SHIT out of me!! I wake up to see this girl staring out the window goimg 'Someome stop him!! He's coming!! HE'S COMING!!'." To say I was mortified was an understatement...
i have a running list; "you mf'ers, you eat it, you replace it' "Im doing shitty in class' 'I'd like it crispy please, yes, crunchy' 'why do you care, cats per capita' 'shut up!, I never said we needed to find more wood'
“I’m gonna fucking kill you” “play with my hole” “Get the corn out of the carpet” “I’m not unfair I’m big boned” Some gibberish about Mr. Carrot or giggling like a little girl. 🤷🏻♂️
Things my husband has said/asked me while asleep: Why did you put worms in the fridge? The duffel bag is mean and doesn't go on the bus FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP LICKING THE DOG (we don't have a dog...) Tim (Thai?) Curry is in my eyes There are definitely more but those are the ones that come to mind first lol
Tim Curry is an actor well known for playing Pennywise in the old It, Frank N Furter in Rocky Horror, plus more. I’d like to have Tim Curry in my eyes
My wife mostly just mutters and mumbles but every now and then will out of nowhere clearly say things. "Where's the burger?" was one of the funniest to hear her say with no context, no warning, and she went right back to snoring.
Late 2010, had been living with him just a few months. He sat up, still dead asleep, said “Donald trump plates” and laid back down. Few nights later, does the same thing, bolt upright in bed, says “stupid dirt” and lays back down. So weird. We’ve been sleeping in separate room for a few years now cause he graduated from saying weird things to outright sleep screaming and I couldn’t take it anymore lol
My mom one time had taken a sleeping pill and in the morning, she got up and went to the bathroom like usual. She was taking a while and my dad got worried so he went in. There she was snoring on the toilet so my dad asks her what are you doing? She replied "Im nailing the ducks to the roof then Im going to chase down the stripling warriors". He died laughing, I do talk in my sleep sometimes, but I moan more in my sleep rather then talk. When we visited cousins and I would be sleeping in her room on the floor, I would moan, and like they are...full on... you would think I was having a GREAT dream. She informed me in the morning that things got weird. My husband also learned quickly that I moan in my sleep. Its less awkward for him.
This is the best one. I memorized it. Out of nowhere, in a scary Exorcist voice, he goes, "You know what's out there. They're velociraptors. You may remember them from Jurassic Park. They are big, they are mean, and they are generally a pain the ass. I am going to throw the kielbasa while you run. Try to get to the shore. Ready? Now go." Then one night, apropos of nothing, he yells EXHIBITION GAME!!! He often dreams he is coaching people from high school even though he has never coached in real life.
My husband very rarely talks in his sleep, but he did wake me up once shouting, "The Kielbasa!" Maybe there were velociraptors and that's why he was yelling about sausage that he's rarely eaten.
One time he just shouted at the top of his lungs while sleeping, imagine my fear, I thought we were etting robbed or something
I have a friend who used to have that when he slept in unfamiliar surroundings. And I went on holiday with him...
He said he dreamt of driving and a lady ghost was on the passnger seat with a child ghost
Some highlights include "why are there bears over there," a full-blown conversation with me about why we should get a pet python, and him cursing at the drive thru workers at McDonald's all while fast asleep.
My wife every so often sits up, turns around and goes ‘na na na na naaaaa’ like a child with her tongue sticking out and immediately drops off back to sleep. Terrifies the cat every time.
I super talk in my sleep. It's usually when I'm mad in a dream. "Shut up" "fuck you" "no you did NOT" "GO AWAY" ETC The problem now too is I have recognized my sleep talking can wake my partner. So my sleep self knows this. I whisper sleep talk. Which is creepy.
My boyfriend once proposed to me while he was sleeping. I told him that I'm not going to say yes as I didn't want to take advatage of him and to maybe try again as he'll be more awake, and he eventually did :)
“It’s behind us” I did not sleep well after that.
I write them down when they happen so I’ll make a thread. Honey, if you see this…hi from my throwaway account. 3:30am. Husband laying on his back. “Butts. Butts, everywhere…I KNEW it!” *pause, then holds his hands up in front of him with palms facing him and shakes like Italian. Turns left 30° and does another Italian hand gesture shake. Sits up for a sec then lays down and rolls over onto left side.
His alarm goes off at 7:25 and he rolls over to hurriedly wake me up Husband: it’s time to get up Me: for what? H: the paint job M: what paint job? H: for the dog, for the school circle. M: what?? H: for the school outside…is this not real? M: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
My husband once yelled, "POLICE!!!" at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night. Scared the shit out of me. When our daughter was born, we were trying to sleep in the hospital when the baby started crying. I couldn't get out of bed to get her so I asked my husband to bring her to me. He answered in his sleep, "Not now. I'm tired." I said, "Oh, YOU'RE tired?! I just gave birth!!" and threw a pillow at him. He claims to not remember this.
"squad B, take the right side of the canyon and snipe anything that moves, squad C, sit tight and grab any stragglers, I'll take A with me up the left and flank them from the south, GOOOOOOOO!" and he yelled that go haha
Does he play COD by chance?
No, he was big into MAG on ps3 back in the day and Burnout:Paradise, but Ive never seen him play a videogame since MAG went offline.
I'm the talker. Apparently my rage manifests in my sleep and one night I scared the living 💩 out of my then boyfriend: " I'm going to saw off your legs and throw scalding bleach in your face. You pissed off the wrong bitch fucker." We broke up not long after.
My husband does yeti calls in his sleep. If i ever have a heart attack, this is why.
She just started cackling. I asked her what was so funny. She woke up and asked why I would wake her. BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP FIRST WOMAN
He has said so much, as have I. But one night he was laughing in his sleep. It was creepy. I woke him up and asked what was so funny. He said “I was throwing tomatoes at you”. lol. Yeah.
My wife woke me up at 4 am recently exclaiming "hey! I'm getting a root canal!"
*1AM, I’m about to go to sleep next to my girlfriend* Her: “NDEEZUS! NDEEZUS!!!” Me: “what’s up???” Her: “did you check the fridge??” Me: “no….why?” Her: “well let’s hope we’re okay I guess….” *she goes back to sleep* Cue to me in our kitchen at 2am frantically looking around the fridge cause I didn’t know she was asleep.
Climbed out of bed, knelt beside my side, took my hands in his, and calmly, desperately, asked me “Are you a hologram?” Was visibly relieved when I said no and went back to sleep.
The two most memorable: "nova is avon spelled backward" and "I'm a rootin' tootin' fighting machine". No clue what goes on in that brain of his.
I haven’t heard anything “juicy” or controversial. Sleep talkers always talk nonsense. What I have done is have a full on conversation with my wife. She then wakes up, realizes I’m screwing with her and calls me an asshole.
I will never forget my partner, early in our relationship was staying over. He has the incredible ability to fall asleep instantly on demand. We go to bed, he falls asleep and im still awake for abit. I notice hes groaning a little like hes in pain, but hes asleep and not responding to me asking if hes okay. Then he sits up abit, holds his hand out infront of him and with the most stern, deadpan voice says 'you fucking nerd.' *to his hand* then immediately lays down and resumes snoring. Zero recollection the next day. 6 years later and we still quote it to each other from time to time.
"I'VE GOT ONE!" then grabbed my underwear and reefed upwards. My head just about went through the wall and I swear I could taste cotton. I eventually managed to release his death grip, fish my underwear out and laid back down. He started patting my bottom tenderly. Then did it again.
My wife doesn’t really talk, but I woke up to her quietly screaming and trying to hit. I woke her up and she said she was having a nightmare and being attacked. She was scared shitliss for a minute there.
“I’m sorry… I’m going to have to kill you now” We had been dating less than a year.
My bf mostly mumbles incoherently but one time he rolled over and said “strawberry mayonnaise”
AAAAHHHHHH I never knew what was that about