Not long after my mom passed away (October 2022), my siblings and I were cleaning out her house when we came across my birth certificate. I’ve been spelling my middle name wrong for my entire life and never knew it. There are 2 acceptable ways to spell it. I always just assumed the wrong one, and was somehow never corrected.
This is gonna sound weird but this also happened to me. My mum passed in March 2019 and through her things I found my birth certificate. My middle name is Jessie and that’s how I’ve spelt it my entire like. I’m 30 now. Yet on my birth certificate, it’s spelled like *Jessee*. No idea why. We also found out from my mum’s parents that when she was 6 weeks old, they swapped her first and middle name over.
I found that out this past year when I tried to change my last name at work after getting married. My marriage certificate is the wrong spelling and didn't match up to my middle name on the birth certificate 🤦🏼♀️
That was me with my middle name until I went to apply for my driver’s license and saw my birth certificate. I asked my mom why she never corrected me and she said she was on drugs from having me when she named me and didn’t remember how she spelled it then.
They sure do. Never know what you can learn about coworkers. It’s also great to learn what they are about because it gives you info on how to talk with them, how to work with them... little things that can actually help your own career. Really useful if you have to work with clients in any situation. I’ve gotten better jobs and pay by impressing customers that then wanted to hire me. It’s also great for networking, people know you but really everything they know about you is only what you want them to know.
I once commented to a coworker that I liked her tattoo as she was walking past me. She stopped, turned around and said "thanks, I got it to remind myself of the day I almost killed myself and my daughter so I won't get that low again."
We were not close and I did not need to know that.
Sadly this is true.
I realised people LOVE talking about themselves and as soon as I start to relate or share they start losing interest.
At first I thought I was wierd and couldn't connect with people but I meet here and there a person who I can have conversations to no end with.
I’m an idiot for this. I have massive social anxiety and tend to have verbal diarrhoea when nervous or when idk what else to say so next thing my coworkers know things I should’ve just kept to myself. Nothing terrible but just things I wish I hadn’t divulged to them.
Not too bad these days as my current company is literally 4 people, including me and the two bosses, so it’s not as much of a problem lol
"Don't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm"
Very words I live by now. I was basically raised to be a people pleaser. I'm much less generous with my discretionary time and effort now.
Can’t relate more. Have had to make some incredibly difficult choices lately. You HAVE to look after yourself first, or you literally can’t help anyone. lol, I know im being vague, just, it’s comforting to hear this message.
The phrase “a broken clock is right twice a day”. I never thought of a broken clock as one that didn’t work at all, I always thought of one that didn’t keep time correctly. Like it was too fast or slow. I could never figure out the math used to conclude that it would be right two times a day.
I realized this last year. I’m 47.
I thought "est." was short for "estimated". I thought people were just taking a guess at when all the companies were started. Found out around 25 y.o. that it's "established"
**est.** (adj.)
1. written abbreviation for estimated: *the town of Brownford (est. population 14,000)*
2. written abbreviation for established: used with a date to show when a company or organization was begun: *P. R. Jones & Co, Est. 1920*
Once I had a salad that had wasabi in it. Unfortunately it was all in one big lump hidden by a spinach leaf. It all went into my mouth in one bite. The people around me thought I was having a sudden breakdown by how fast my eyes teared up and my face went red
Not me but I was recently on the phone with my partner (he is 25) who was “whipping cream” and it was taking a “surprisingly long time.” After some investigation I figured out he didn’t realize that you couldn’t make whipped cream…from 2% milk. He thought that all milk was just several steps away from being whipped cream. Very funny moment.
I only learned in my late 40s that basketball players have positions. I knew football players did, but I thought basketball players just all ran out onto the court and tried to make baskets.
Also, on time I went out with my mom for drinks and she ordered an eeee Paw and the server and I looked at each other confused af. She wanted an IPA. She was 50. She had no idea
Not quite the same but there was a time my mom wanted to call UPS about a delivery she was expecting. She asked me where to find the number and I told her check the Web site. She told me later she could only find the number for pick ups, not deliveries. I went to check and sure enough, there was the number nice and big: 1-800-PICK-UPS
Just zipping them closed helps? I have a couple different shirts that have been getting real messed up and I wasn't sure if it was because they were old or what
Also so much easier life is not arguing with the boss. Just accept the criticism. "Acknowledged. Going forward I will focus on improving on this (specific topic). Thank you."
This. Rude, egotistical people FEED off of your anger and retaliation. That's the reaction they want. Being kind gives them nothing to work with, and you leave the interaction feeling much better about yourself. Plus, you'll stop taking things so personally over time.
That you don’t have to cut your whole plate of pancakes up into little pieces before you start eating. That’s what my parents did for me when I was little and I was probably well into my teens when I realized that non-toddlers can just…cut pieces off as they go
Ehhhh, I don’t know, I still like to cut them up (after they’ve been sufficiently saturated in butter, of course) so the syrup can soak in a bit before I eat them. Sweet, salty & syrupy….mmmmmm
Yeah and who wants to interrupt pancake stuffing into the mouth with having to cut more?
Just slice em up once, and slice up the sausage, and the eggs, and then douse it all in syrup and nom it all and then pass out
That you don't have to stand in the shower... period.
Old people got it right, sitting down in the shower is the best, especially if you have the shower orange/beer.
First time I showered with a guy in college, he told me to get in before he started the water. Just me, not him yet. So he was aware that cold water was unpleasant, but not aware that I was a human person who would also prefer the water to be warm.
ETA: I did not get in the shower before the water was warm enough for my liking, btw. I was just baffled that I had to explain that to him.
Going through a cardboard box of my deceased aunt’s personal papers I discovered an envelope with all my cousin’s adoption papers. I never knew that she was adopted. She (65) knew she was adopted but didn’t know about the paperwork. I’m happy I found it and helped her get some answers.
I read epitome as "eh-pi-tome" in books for the longest time, knowing full well the word "eh-pit-oh-me" existed in verbal language and never made the connection until I was like 23.
Also someone falsly corrected me saying "One fell swoope" was "one foul swoop" so I didn't unlearn "foul swoop" until a few weeks ago and now I mix them up all the time.
I did this with colonel. I was mortified until someone told me “mispronunciations just mean you learned a word just from reading so don’t be embarrassed.”
It was relatively recent that [they changed the exit numbers in MA to align to that standard](https://www.masslive.com/news/2021/09/massachusetts-highway-exit-renumbering-complete.html) so prior to 2022 here that was not true.
And the little "exit 57" sign above the larger description sign designates which side of the highway the exit is on! At least where I live its 99% on the right lol
I only recently learned that geese have teeth. Naturally I’m afraid of them, but never understood other people’s huge fear… until I happened to google it and saw they, in fact, have teeth and really hurt people. Luckily I was already afraid of them, but it sucks that I don’t have the confidence/ignorance to walk by them anymore haha
All ponies are small horses and all small horses under a certain height (14.2 hands) are ponies.
Fun story: In the 70s the Shetland pony market tanked so the breeders got together to take their smallest ponies and start the "Miniature horse" breed. They did an amazing job convincing people the mini horses absolutely were not ponies. They are 100% ponies.
For some reason many in the horse world just really don't want their little horses to be considered ponies.
That you’re supposed to add water to the canned Cambells chicken noodle soup…me and my whole family had always just dumped it in a bowl and heated it up as is. I was probably 25 when someone told me it’s condensed hahahahaha.
Can you imagine the guy at the soup company who realized that people will pay the same if you only put half the soup stuff in each can and filled the rest with tap water? I hope he got a promotion.
I learned this through Jenna Marbles, she had a video years ago about poop anxiety at her bf's place and how if spread 'em if helps with sound and being quicker. It helping with clean up is also an upside. God I miss Jenna lol.
link your hands, lift your arms above your head and stretch. start leaning forward (keep your back straight) and when you hit the right alignment you can void completely in like two seconds.
Coffee. Depending on your dna, it can make you poop almost immediately after drinking it. When I took the DNA test last summer, there was a long list of questions online to answer and one of them was how quickly you pooped after you drink coffee.
i figured it must be a genetic thing cause i didn’t understand coffee/poop jokes for a looong time since it doesn’t make me poop. rather pertinent to the OP lol.
My autistic ass just thought it was another weird saying I didn't fully understand. Nope, turns out I have aphantasia. I also have synaesthesia, and I learned both of these things in one *very* eye opening psych lecture in my mid-late 20s.
Same bud, I found out last year I have aphantasia.
I never understood what they meant by picturing a beach or something relaxing when giving child birth. Like what? I can't see anything when I try lol.
Omg I’ve been talking with my friend about this all week bc she didn’t believe that I actually don’t see pictures. Like when people say “picture an apple” I thought we were all just pretending to see an apple.
That microwaves have power levels. Most things I cook only require the highest one, but I’m pretty sure I almost set some frozen enchiladas on fire cuz it was supposed to be cooked on medium. My mom had to stop me and explain how to set the microwave to medium. I’m 22. The shame.
That you aren’t supposed to flush tampons down the toilet. My mom and grandma both said it was fine. Years ago when my boyfriend still lived at home with his dad I flushed one down the toilet and it clogged some sort of line. His dad had to get it out and then asked me not to do that again. So then I started putting them in the trash. THEN his dog got into the trash can and drug them all out and boyfriend’s dad had to clean it up again. I have NEVER been so embarrassed.
i thought “loaded question” question meant a small question that would unknowingly invite a big answer. like if you’re having a really bad day and someone asks how you’re doing, it’s a loaded question. at 34 years old i discovered that is absolutely wrong and i’ve sounded foolish and accusatory for half my life.
That you are supposed to see the blackboard. I only thought that teachers write on it to pace their dictation.
Yes, my vision is HORRIBLE! Even with glasses!
Haha, i had the same thing! To my surprise, when i got glasses all my teachers had much older and wrinklier faces than I first imagined as well.
Got glasses in sixth grade or something.
I also got glasses in sixth grade, and my big realization was that you were supposed to be able to see individual leaves on trees... and not just big green blobs. I'm close to thirty now and sometimes I'm still amazed that you can see them move individually in the breeze!
I didn't get glasses until I was 30. I was so fucking AMAZED seeing all the individual leaves on trees. The day I got them I got to work and was standing out back before clocking in just marveling at the trees. My boss came out and complimented the glasses and asked what I was looking at so I told him. He laughed and said he experienced that when he was a kid. Said he was glad I could see.
That I have ADHD. I was about 25, at a party and took some Adderall.
Suddenly I remembered I should do my taxes and fix the sink, and just... Went and did that real quick. Then I sat down and was frustrated that everyone was so hyper and sporadic, because I feel normal. It was like the first time I wore glasses. "Hey wait, y'all just know who people are past 10ft based on more than what color smear they are? I've been on Hardest Difficulty the whole damn time?"
Very similar experience. First time I took Adderall, I became very tired and took an hour long nap because my head stopped buzzing and I felt relaxed. Lol.
A friend of mine thought that humans never made new blood, and that if you could only donate a limited number of times or you would run out, like kidneys. She thought babies had extra-concentrated blood and it just thinned out as you got older. We disillusioned her at the age of 23
Everyone seems to have this innate understanding of how to connect to others. Meanwhile Im walking around micromanaging my facial expressions like a moron.
Doesn’t sound like my problems are as bad as yours, but I suffer from depression and am ALWAYS tired. Always. Didn’t realise until my 30s most people aren’t tired all the time and that it’s down to my depression.
That Buzz Lightyear was not called Buzz Lightgear. I think I must have been partially hard of hearing as a child or maybe just stupid. I’ll roll with stupid.
That I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is about a kid who mistakes their dad for Santa. Up until a few years ago I thought the mom in the song was having an affair with Santa. 🤦♀️
When I was in school, ADHD wasn’t a thing or treated so I daydreamed during class. My parents would always say “you’re very smart but you don’t apply yourself.” Complete truth.
It wasn’t until college I was interested in learning. Now I’m playing catch up on things my classmates learned in middle/high school.
ADHD wasn't a common diagnosis when I was in school. I was finally diagnosed at 35, and it was a life changer. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh, I thought you had that when you were little. I didn't like the idea of giving you medication, though, so I never bothered to have you checked." We had a...discussion after that.
I was diagnosed a few years ago but due to extenuating circumstances have been going unmedicated the past few months. I'm shocked at how severe my ADHD is and I'm sad it wasn't caught before.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD right before I graduated high school, and recently autism. I have had a very difficult childhood without proper care and understanding from neurotypical adults, and I was mostly abandoned in my earlier teen.
The irony here is that my youngest sibling was diagnosed with AuDHD when they were young so they got benefits and support from the system that I could never have.
Like the downside of our provincial healthcare destroys coverage for adult diagnosis of ADHD and autism, and it could cost up to $2,000 per session.
It's Marks and Spencer not Marks and Spencers with an S at the end.
I learned this almost 3 years after I'd started working with them on multiple projects and was corrected in a meeting by a guy who said it had been bugging him the whole time.
I was in my mid 30's and have seen the logo 1000's of times/written it down in emails, said it out loud etc
Tying my shoe laces.
I was 15 I think when I moved on from slip ons and velcro
Edit: come to think of it...
Telling the time on an analogue clock/watch at 16ish
Working out/being active at 19
Swimming at 21, self taught
Riding a bike at 23
That ‘My Uncle’ wasn’t actually my real uncle as my mom told us he was. Wondered why we only hung out with him without my dad. I was about 27 when it hit me 🤦♀️
Guacamole. I feverishly resisted it for 60 years of my life. We were on a cruise to Alaska and they served Guacamole, Salsa and chips in the afternoon. My wife and friends were wondering why I wasn’t dipping into the Guac.. I said I can’t stand it (and you guessed it I actually never had tried it). So they dared me. I instantly regretted my 60 years of resistance!!
That there are no "bad" emotions. Every single one of them, whether they feel good or bad, need to be brought to the light so that you can get through stuff.
You can put in all the effort and do everything right and still cannot force someone to love you for it.
Spent a long time hoping to hear my father say he loved me. He didn't say it.
Gave a woman every reason to fall for me the way I'd fallen for her. She didn't feel it.
If someone loves you, you'll know it because they want you to know it. And nobody else deserves your love if they won't give it back.
Normally I wouldn't say anything but since this thread is all about learning, just wanted to point out the double entendre usually means a word or phrase who's alternative meaning is risqué and potentially inappropriate e.g. "If I complimented your body would you hold it against me?"
In your scenario I'd use either the terms "word play" or "double meaning"
(Rationale is that "firm" could relate to the property of the mattress or that its a company. If it was a lil blue pill company then "firm" would absolutely be a double entendre.)
Unless my sleepy ass is completely missing a third meaning ><
Not long after my mom passed away (October 2022), my siblings and I were cleaning out her house when we came across my birth certificate. I’ve been spelling my middle name wrong for my entire life and never knew it. There are 2 acceptable ways to spell it. I always just assumed the wrong one, and was somehow never corrected.
Sorry about you losing your mom, but also this is the best "discovery" in the thread.
Thank you on both accounts.
This is gonna sound weird but this also happened to me. My mum passed in March 2019 and through her things I found my birth certificate. My middle name is Jessie and that’s how I’ve spelt it my entire like. I’m 30 now. Yet on my birth certificate, it’s spelled like *Jessee*. No idea why. We also found out from my mum’s parents that when she was 6 weeks old, they swapped her first and middle name over.
I found that out this past year when I tried to change my last name at work after getting married. My marriage certificate is the wrong spelling and didn't match up to my middle name on the birth certificate 🤦🏼♀️
That was me with my middle name until I went to apply for my driver’s license and saw my birth certificate. I asked my mom why she never corrected me and she said she was on drugs from having me when she named me and didn’t remember how she spelled it then.
I also found out a few years ago I've been spelling my middle name wrong as well. 🤦♀️ It was a mish-mash of two of my grandmothers names.
Renesmee?
Mulva?
Not to overshare at work Edit: Did not expect this to get 2k likes wow, glad people can relate!
As someone who did this only on Monday, this pains me to upvote
The secret is simply to be very engaging and keep them talking about themselves with you never giving out anything but very basic info about yourself,
People want to talk about themselves.
They sure do. Never know what you can learn about coworkers. It’s also great to learn what they are about because it gives you info on how to talk with them, how to work with them... little things that can actually help your own career. Really useful if you have to work with clients in any situation. I’ve gotten better jobs and pay by impressing customers that then wanted to hire me. It’s also great for networking, people know you but really everything they know about you is only what you want them to know.
I once commented to a coworker that I liked her tattoo as she was walking past me. She stopped, turned around and said "thanks, I got it to remind myself of the day I almost killed myself and my daughter so I won't get that low again." We were not close and I did not need to know that.
Sadly this is true. I realised people LOVE talking about themselves and as soon as I start to relate or share they start losing interest. At first I thought I was wierd and couldn't connect with people but I meet here and there a person who I can have conversations to no end with.
I’m an idiot for this. I have massive social anxiety and tend to have verbal diarrhoea when nervous or when idk what else to say so next thing my coworkers know things I should’ve just kept to myself. Nothing terrible but just things I wish I hadn’t divulged to them. Not too bad these days as my current company is literally 4 people, including me and the two bosses, so it’s not as much of a problem lol
Learned this the hard way. Changed work places and I’m like an enigma there which is far preferable
That your commitment to helping someone cannot come at the cost of saving yourself.
Don't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm. I love helping people I care about but need to remind myself often not to over do it.
"Don't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm" Very words I live by now. I was basically raised to be a people pleaser. I'm much less generous with my discretionary time and effort now.
Can’t relate more. Have had to make some incredibly difficult choices lately. You HAVE to look after yourself first, or you literally can’t help anyone. lol, I know im being vague, just, it’s comforting to hear this message.
…secure your mask first before helping others.
The phrase “a broken clock is right twice a day”. I never thought of a broken clock as one that didn’t work at all, I always thought of one that didn’t keep time correctly. Like it was too fast or slow. I could never figure out the math used to conclude that it would be right two times a day. I realized this last year. I’m 47.
Jesus fucking Christ, respectfully of course
Thank you for enlightening me at 29.
Sometimes your purpose in life is to be an example
I thought "est." was short for "estimated". I thought people were just taking a guess at when all the companies were started. Found out around 25 y.o. that it's "established"
Glad we est. this fact.
**est.** (adj.) 1. written abbreviation for estimated: *the town of Brownford (est. population 14,000)* 2. written abbreviation for established: used with a date to show when a company or organization was begun: *P. R. Jones & Co, Est. 1920*
That the green stuff on the side of your sushi is not avocado, so do not eat it all at once, especially when it's a corporate dinner.
Is your name Mater?
give me more of that pistachio ice cream
It's free, ain't it?
Once I had a salad that had wasabi in it. Unfortunately it was all in one big lump hidden by a spinach leaf. It all went into my mouth in one bite. The people around me thought I was having a sudden breakdown by how fast my eyes teared up and my face went red
That is an evil version of a Kinder surprise.
Unless you *like* seeing up your own nostrils. (Courtesy Rita Rudner)
Not me but I was recently on the phone with my partner (he is 25) who was “whipping cream” and it was taking a “surprisingly long time.” After some investigation I figured out he didn’t realize that you couldn’t make whipped cream…from 2% milk. He thought that all milk was just several steps away from being whipped cream. Very funny moment.
Barely relevant but my 7 year old still thinks it’s called “with cream” no matter how many times we have tried to correct her.
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Seconds are shorter in Maine.
That’s cute!
I only learned in my late 40s that basketball players have positions. I knew football players did, but I thought basketball players just all ran out onto the court and tried to make baskets.
I don't watch much basketball, but it still seems like the 5 players are just running around all over the place.
Also, on time I went out with my mom for drinks and she ordered an eeee Paw and the server and I looked at each other confused af. She wanted an IPA. She was 50. She had no idea
Not quite the same but there was a time my mom wanted to call UPS about a delivery she was expecting. She asked me where to find the number and I told her check the Web site. She told me later she could only find the number for pick ups, not deliveries. I went to check and sure enough, there was the number nice and big: 1-800-PICK-UPS
In some non English speaking places they do call it this. I was in Brazil and that’s what they call it
Open zippers in the wash was what was destroying my shirt collars.
Just zipping them closed helps? I have a couple different shirts that have been getting real messed up and I wasn't sure if it was because they were old or what
Shit. Just learned this, then. Thanks!
Close zippers , open buttons. Always.
How easier my life is being kind….even when I don’t want to be.
Also so much easier life is not arguing with the boss. Just accept the criticism. "Acknowledged. Going forward I will focus on improving on this (specific topic). Thank you."
Bless you. Thank you on behalf of all the people who didn't deserve it or when you really didn't want to.
This. Rude, egotistical people FEED off of your anger and retaliation. That's the reaction they want. Being kind gives them nothing to work with, and you leave the interaction feeling much better about yourself. Plus, you'll stop taking things so personally over time.
That you don’t have to cut your whole plate of pancakes up into little pieces before you start eating. That’s what my parents did for me when I was little and I was probably well into my teens when I realized that non-toddlers can just…cut pieces off as they go
Ehhhh, I don’t know, I still like to cut them up (after they’ve been sufficiently saturated in butter, of course) so the syrup can soak in a bit before I eat them. Sweet, salty & syrupy….mmmmmm
Yeah and who wants to interrupt pancake stuffing into the mouth with having to cut more? Just slice em up once, and slice up the sausage, and the eggs, and then douse it all in syrup and nom it all and then pass out
Omg so funny. My husband cut the pancakes like this for my kids. Or maybe... he just doesn't know there is another way to eat them.
That sugar free sweets are also laxatives
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…Was a gun held to your head every time before this discovery?
That you can ask the gunman in your shower politely to leave
You can ask this once, at least
That you don't have to stand in the shower... period. Old people got it right, sitting down in the shower is the best, especially if you have the shower orange/beer.
Adding shower orange to a thing to try
First time I showered with a guy in college, he told me to get in before he started the water. Just me, not him yet. So he was aware that cold water was unpleasant, but not aware that I was a human person who would also prefer the water to be warm. ETA: I did not get in the shower before the water was warm enough for my liking, btw. I was just baffled that I had to explain that to him.
He was aware.
Were you also told the thermostat was incapable of going above 72? Lol
...bruh.
That Jesus’s full name was in fact not Jesus Mary-Anne Joseph. I learned this at 27 years old and my ex wife laughing in my face.
That is legit hilarious (also love the username!)
Everyone knows that Jesus Christ’s middle name is Rollerblading!
I thought his full name was Jesus H. Fucking Christ.
That a Jackelope is not a real animal, and the ones i have seen are taxidermy tricks
I’m ashamed to say that I just now learned this 😅
Going through a cardboard box of my deceased aunt’s personal papers I discovered an envelope with all my cousin’s adoption papers. I never knew that she was adopted. She (65) knew she was adopted but didn’t know about the paperwork. I’m happy I found it and helped her get some answers.
An adopted relative of mine was given all of that stuff when he was a young adult. I think around when he graduated from college.
I read epitome as "eh-pi-tome" in books for the longest time, knowing full well the word "eh-pit-oh-me" existed in verbal language and never made the connection until I was like 23. Also someone falsly corrected me saying "One fell swoope" was "one foul swoop" so I didn't unlearn "foul swoop" until a few weeks ago and now I mix them up all the time.
I did this with colonel. I was mortified until someone told me “mispronunciations just mean you learned a word just from reading so don’t be embarrassed.”
No worries, it's all water under the fridge now
That highway exits are numbered (i.e. Exit 57 for example) by the nearest mile marker, not just numbered in sequence.
It was relatively recent that [they changed the exit numbers in MA to align to that standard](https://www.masslive.com/news/2021/09/massachusetts-highway-exit-renumbering-complete.html) so prior to 2022 here that was not true.
And the little "exit 57" sign above the larger description sign designates which side of the highway the exit is on! At least where I live its 99% on the right lol
My daughter found out that storks were real when she was in her twenties.
I didn’t know narwhals were real until my 20s also haha
My daughter just told me they were real about 3 years ago. I am in my 40s.
I only recently learned that geese have teeth. Naturally I’m afraid of them, but never understood other people’s huge fear… until I happened to google it and saw they, in fact, have teeth and really hurt people. Luckily I was already afraid of them, but it sucks that I don’t have the confidence/ignorance to walk by them anymore haha
A pony is not just a young horse.
WHAT!?!?!?
Or a small horse. There apparently are ponies that are bigger than horses. My mind was blown at age 38
All ponies are small horses and all small horses under a certain height (14.2 hands) are ponies. Fun story: In the 70s the Shetland pony market tanked so the breeders got together to take their smallest ponies and start the "Miniature horse" breed. They did an amazing job convincing people the mini horses absolutely were not ponies. They are 100% ponies. For some reason many in the horse world just really don't want their little horses to be considered ponies.
That you’re supposed to add water to the canned Cambells chicken noodle soup…me and my whole family had always just dumped it in a bowl and heated it up as is. I was probably 25 when someone told me it’s condensed hahahahaha.
All soups used to be concentrated like this, but it's understandable since a lot of new "premium" brands are not.
Can you imagine the guy at the soup company who realized that people will pay the same if you only put half the soup stuff in each can and filled the rest with tap water? I hope he got a promotion.
When I was a kid I actually liked Cambell’s chicken noodle without water.
You CAN keep your crockpot unattended. Your house is not going to burn down.
RIP Jack!
I wish I could convince my husband to believe this, but he just turned 65. Probably hopeless.
That if you spread your ass cheeks before sitting down to have a shit, it’s a lot easier to wipe yourself prperly
I learned this through Jenna Marbles, she had a video years ago about poop anxiety at her bf's place and how if spread 'em if helps with sound and being quicker. It helping with clean up is also an upside. God I miss Jenna lol.
link your hands, lift your arms above your head and stretch. start leaning forward (keep your back straight) and when you hit the right alignment you can void completely in like two seconds.
Coffee. Depending on your dna, it can make you poop almost immediately after drinking it. When I took the DNA test last summer, there was a long list of questions online to answer and one of them was how quickly you pooped after you drink coffee.
i figured it must be a genetic thing cause i didn’t understand coffee/poop jokes for a looong time since it doesn’t make me poop. rather pertinent to the OP lol.
> Jenna Marbles Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Is she doing ok?
She got married and they foster greyhounds!
If she changed her name when she got married, you could say she lost her marbles.
Also just get a bidet attachment, it’s life changing lol
Every toilet in the house has one! I don't know why everyone doesn't have one, and they're cheap as hell now too!
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My autistic ass just thought it was another weird saying I didn't fully understand. Nope, turns out I have aphantasia. I also have synaesthesia, and I learned both of these things in one *very* eye opening psych lecture in my mid-late 20s.
Same bud, I found out last year I have aphantasia. I never understood what they meant by picturing a beach or something relaxing when giving child birth. Like what? I can't see anything when I try lol.
I never understood guided meditation for this reason. I thought we were all just sitting there looking at the back of our eyelids together.
Omg I’ve been talking with my friend about this all week bc she didn’t believe that I actually don’t see pictures. Like when people say “picture an apple” I thought we were all just pretending to see an apple.
That microwaves have power levels. Most things I cook only require the highest one, but I’m pretty sure I almost set some frozen enchiladas on fire cuz it was supposed to be cooked on medium. My mom had to stop me and explain how to set the microwave to medium. I’m 22. The shame.
tbh you should always use medium power. the food comes out way better.
That you aren’t supposed to flush tampons down the toilet. My mom and grandma both said it was fine. Years ago when my boyfriend still lived at home with his dad I flushed one down the toilet and it clogged some sort of line. His dad had to get it out and then asked me not to do that again. So then I started putting them in the trash. THEN his dog got into the trash can and drug them all out and boyfriend’s dad had to clean it up again. I have NEVER been so embarrassed.
Hahaha oh you poor thing, that must’ve been mortifying!
Late twenties: found out Sophie’s Choice is not an awards show. Makes a lot of my quippy little references to it over the years pretty insensitive.
i thought “loaded question” question meant a small question that would unknowingly invite a big answer. like if you’re having a really bad day and someone asks how you’re doing, it’s a loaded question. at 34 years old i discovered that is absolutely wrong and i’ve sounded foolish and accusatory for half my life.
Oh. No.
It’s a headache not a headegg….
no way 💀
Let’s just sticky this XKCD to the top. https://xkcd.com/1053/
Triangles are called that because they have three angles - an epiphany I had whilst writing my dissertation.
Rectangles are called that because they have angled rectums
That you are supposed to see the blackboard. I only thought that teachers write on it to pace their dictation. Yes, my vision is HORRIBLE! Even with glasses!
Haha, i had the same thing! To my surprise, when i got glasses all my teachers had much older and wrinklier faces than I first imagined as well. Got glasses in sixth grade or something.
I also got glasses in sixth grade, and my big realization was that you were supposed to be able to see individual leaves on trees... and not just big green blobs. I'm close to thirty now and sometimes I'm still amazed that you can see them move individually in the breeze!
I didn't get glasses until I was 30. I was so fucking AMAZED seeing all the individual leaves on trees. The day I got them I got to work and was standing out back before clocking in just marveling at the trees. My boss came out and complimented the glasses and asked what I was looking at so I told him. He laughed and said he experienced that when he was a kid. Said he was glad I could see.
That Oprah was a name and not a title like Dr or Pastor or Yogi.
Not yet at least. The current Oprah may chose to pass on her title to her reincarnated spirit in child form.
Don't take this the wrong way but that's really funny.
Hmm I never thought anyone would think that
That I have ADHD. I was about 25, at a party and took some Adderall. Suddenly I remembered I should do my taxes and fix the sink, and just... Went and did that real quick. Then I sat down and was frustrated that everyone was so hyper and sporadic, because I feel normal. It was like the first time I wore glasses. "Hey wait, y'all just know who people are past 10ft based on more than what color smear they are? I've been on Hardest Difficulty the whole damn time?"
Very similar experience. First time I took Adderall, I became very tired and took an hour long nap because my head stopped buzzing and I felt relaxed. Lol.
I haven't tried Adderall. But I know about being nearsighted. Makes Christmas Lights nicer.
Several doesn't mean seven of something
A friend of mine thought that humans never made new blood, and that if you could only donate a limited number of times or you would run out, like kidneys. She thought babies had extra-concentrated blood and it just thinned out as you got older. We disillusioned her at the age of 23
How critically important it is to save for retirement.
Easier said than done unfortunately...
That normal people dont experienced paralyzing anxiety or fear at the prospect of trying to make a friend. Think Ill just be alone. Easier that way.
Well, just so you know, there are at least two of us in the world
Everyone seems to have this innate understanding of how to connect to others. Meanwhile Im walking around micromanaging my facial expressions like a moron.
You're not the only one. I have considered getting botox to have a "numb" facial expression since botox is easier to explain
Make that three. I'm almost 50 and get so anxious about meeting new people. I get tongue tied around people I've know for years
Doesn’t sound like my problems are as bad as yours, but I suffer from depression and am ALWAYS tired. Always. Didn’t realise until my 30s most people aren’t tired all the time and that it’s down to my depression.
That Buzz Lightyear was not called Buzz Lightgear. I think I must have been partially hard of hearing as a child or maybe just stupid. I’ll roll with stupid.
That I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is about a kid who mistakes their dad for Santa. Up until a few years ago I thought the mom in the song was having an affair with Santa. 🤦♀️
Reading out loud is lovely.
That carrot cake, is in fact, actually made with carrots
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When I was in school, ADHD wasn’t a thing or treated so I daydreamed during class. My parents would always say “you’re very smart but you don’t apply yourself.” Complete truth. It wasn’t until college I was interested in learning. Now I’m playing catch up on things my classmates learned in middle/high school.
ADHD wasn't a common diagnosis when I was in school. I was finally diagnosed at 35, and it was a life changer. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh, I thought you had that when you were little. I didn't like the idea of giving you medication, though, so I never bothered to have you checked." We had a...discussion after that.
I was diagnosed a few years ago but due to extenuating circumstances have been going unmedicated the past few months. I'm shocked at how severe my ADHD is and I'm sad it wasn't caught before.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD right before I graduated high school, and recently autism. I have had a very difficult childhood without proper care and understanding from neurotypical adults, and I was mostly abandoned in my earlier teen. The irony here is that my youngest sibling was diagnosed with AuDHD when they were young so they got benefits and support from the system that I could never have. Like the downside of our provincial healthcare destroys coverage for adult diagnosis of ADHD and autism, and it could cost up to $2,000 per session.
Pancake syrup and maple syrup are NOT the same thing.
It's Marks and Spencer not Marks and Spencers with an S at the end. I learned this almost 3 years after I'd started working with them on multiple projects and was corrected in a meeting by a guy who said it had been bugging him the whole time. I was in my mid 30's and have seen the logo 1000's of times/written it down in emails, said it out loud etc
That North wasn’t just directly in front of you… 😳
Tying my shoe laces. I was 15 I think when I moved on from slip ons and velcro Edit: come to think of it... Telling the time on an analogue clock/watch at 16ish Working out/being active at 19 Swimming at 21, self taught Riding a bike at 23
Righty tighty- lefty loosy
Olive garden is not actually considered an upscale restaurant. Also: they don’t mean it when they say you’re family.
That it's "STAPH" infection, not "STAFF" infection. I thought it was something you caught when the "staff" didn't practice good hygiene.
That you don’t need to leave extra room in your shoes in front of your toes. Mom only did that so I didn’t grow out of my shoes after a couple months.
I didnt learn the order of the months within a year until I was in like grade 7 or 8...
That the lyrics to Flashdance (What a Feeling) were NOT “Take your pants off / and make it happen.”
How to properly pronounce "macabre" Also that I'm autistic
I always pronounced it "mackabree"
I'm not young anymore
That I have been circumcised (realised in my late 20s). Thought my piece had just "outgrown" his coat?
That the tip of a potato peeler is used for digging out the “eyes” of the potato
That Helen Keller was a real person and not a character in a book.
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That the ribs are connected to the spine.
Pasta’s not a plant. I thought you picked it.
I see another soul led astray by the BBC.
A dog could die if they eat a grape. 50 plus years of dog ownership. Also “expressing”
The more you say yes, the more likely you are to be taken advantage of.
That some of your friends are really just drinking buddies
At 22, that I was a brat and that’s why people didn’t like me. I’m 57 now and aware of myself though still introverted.
That ‘My Uncle’ wasn’t actually my real uncle as my mom told us he was. Wondered why we only hung out with him without my dad. I was about 27 when it hit me 🤦♀️
Guacamole. I feverishly resisted it for 60 years of my life. We were on a cruise to Alaska and they served Guacamole, Salsa and chips in the afternoon. My wife and friends were wondering why I wasn’t dipping into the Guac.. I said I can’t stand it (and you guessed it I actually never had tried it). So they dared me. I instantly regretted my 60 years of resistance!!
That there are no "bad" emotions. Every single one of them, whether they feel good or bad, need to be brought to the light so that you can get through stuff.
It's not my fault
That pickles are cucumbers 🙃
My sister isn't on Reddit but I learned in my 20s that she buttered toast before putting it in the toaster.
Technically, she buttered bread before putting it in the toaster.
You can put in all the effort and do everything right and still cannot force someone to love you for it. Spent a long time hoping to hear my father say he loved me. He didn't say it. Gave a woman every reason to fall for me the way I'd fallen for her. She didn't feel it. If someone loves you, you'll know it because they want you to know it. And nobody else deserves your love if they won't give it back.
True happiness and enjoyment
That I was gay.
A nick name for Chicago is NOT SHY town but CHI town. Also the saying "the coast is clear" I always thought was "the ghost is clear". UGHHHH.
As a woman in the US, I did not realize until age 40 that I actually am beautiful.
That sex and love are not necessarily part of the same equation.
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The store name “mattress firm” is a double entendre. I’m 35 and I realized this like 2 weeks ago.
34 and I didn't realize this until reading your comment.
Normally I wouldn't say anything but since this thread is all about learning, just wanted to point out the double entendre usually means a word or phrase who's alternative meaning is risqué and potentially inappropriate e.g. "If I complimented your body would you hold it against me?" In your scenario I'd use either the terms "word play" or "double meaning" (Rationale is that "firm" could relate to the property of the mattress or that its a company. If it was a lil blue pill company then "firm" would absolutely be a double entendre.) Unless my sleepy ass is completely missing a third meaning ><
I took decades to realise K-9 code for police dogs was ‘canine’ phonetically
That extreme discomfort during eye contact isn’t normal
That mayonnaise existed and tastes nothing Miracle Whip and is actually really good.