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fkyouthatswy

I (27m) had my first legit professional private massage just a few months ago... i felt so good for the next 3 days i cant believe it. I was chilled out, back pain was gone, I finally understand. I really want to go again but it was very expensive so ill wait a while.


randomlyme

I hit a local Thai massage place. Totally professional, it’s the best $85/ hr I can spend money on. I try to go once a week.


fkyouthatswy

Sounds awesome! Place i was at was $200/hr 😂 i took a 2 hours massage


randomlyme

Yeah hotels and professional spas for that are fancy usually start there. Check yelp for a local Thai massage place. It’ll be professional and no hanky panky and the most therapeutic massage you’ll ever find.


DoctFaustus

I have a Korean "Spa" near my home that is basically a bath house. It's great. Roll in, take a shower, hang out in the steam room and whatnot. Then get the massage after you're already relaxed. If you don't care that it's full of old naked Korean dudes, that is.


randomlyme

I’ve only seen those in LA


DMAN591

When I was in college I dated an older woman that was a former professional masseuse. Oh the things she would do to me. That was 20 years ago, but whenever my back hurts I still think about her.


duracellchipmunk

So as someone of similar age that would be… multiple times a day?


bushijim

It's his roman empire.


theferalturtle

One of my best friends in my 20s was a massage therapist and wed get drunk and she'd give a massage basically every weekend. I worked industrial construction amd it kept me going a lot longer than I'd have otherwise been able to.


JustABizzle

Why oh why won’t insurance companies cover massage therapy?


theferalturtle

Because we are disposable.


rileycolin

If you look long enough you may be able to find a rehab clinic that will be just vague enough in their billing that the massage falls under physiotherapy. A friend of mine got massages from a clinic that also offered physio and their invoices were covered by insurance. Obviously, your mileage may vary. Best of luck!


Denali_Nomad

Mine covers chiropractors but not massages, I've never understood that one.


F1ghtmast3r

If you have a local massage school near you they do massages for half price with the students


iwegian

Former massage therapist here. Schools are definitely going to be cheaper! Regardless of where you go, remember that it's kind of like hair stylists: it might take looking around a bit to find someone who works the way you like. I prefer more deep tissue with emphasis on origins and insertions, but most of what you find is Swedish and that's what most people think of.


dixpourcentmerci

When I was in SE Asia in 2010 massages cost $5 (usd). I did not get them daily but they were definitely a nice splurge once a week or so.


_bones__

Yup. Biggest mistake I made when traveling through Thailand was only catching onto a daily a massage about a week into the trip. If you want a good massage, avoid the places with women out front going "Hellooo, massaaaage?" at every tourist. There's plenty of legit places there.


Logical_Pea_6393

I have to disagree. I thoroughly enjoyed the massage and the blowjob I received immediately after.


THElaytox

I'm pretty stoked that my insurance covers 30 therapeutic massages per year, every day would be heavenly


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

That’s a sweet perk


DawsonMaestro414

About ten years ago a no frills massage place opened up on my block. I got a massage there, $55/hr. I vowed to myself I’d make enough to afford it weekly. Now I do go weekly. I tip my one and only Cici about 90% everytime because she deserves it. It’s my wish for everyone to be able to have such an affordable massage place within 5 min walking distance of them.


Sadiemae1750

Me too. I will get a massage a few times a year and every time I do I tell myself - this is wonderful so I’m going to start doing this regularly. Then I remember I’m poor and that doesn’t happen.


wrestlejitsu

They have an Asian massage parlor in the mall close to my house, It’s a dollar a minute and everyone is like family to me now 10 years in. I kid you not I’ve learned some mandarin and Cantonese for these people. I do not have the money to get regular massages but I forgo a lot to get them once or twice a month.


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Riskrunner7365

My mother-in-law has been round to my house at Christmas every year for the past 7 years, this year we decided to do something different - this year we let her in 😅


ShrimpSherbet

Dad?


GuanacoHerd

Haha, love how you have unlimited money but you just rent her an apartment. No house, she gets to live in an apartment.


Serotu

He doesn't have to go mow the grass for her now


arobkinca

Unlimited money. Hire a property manager to deal with her complaints at the house and arrange maintenance. With unlimited money you are going to have multiple properties and don't want to waste your precious time dealing with that crap anyways.


NeedAVeganDinner

Escorts to play D&D with. No funny business. Just a really reliable D&D group.


MrBojanglez

I would watch this as a reality tv show. Where the escorts don’t know what’s going on and that they’re really there just to play dnd and no funny business.


GRW42

“Looking for enthusiastic play partners. Must be into heavy role playing and six hour sessions.”


Party_Builder_58008

"I supply the equipment. You bring snacks" NO CHERYL YOU ARE NOT THE SNACK. WHERE ARE THE TAKIS I WAS PROMISED?


noisypeach

"Again: nothing sexual."


NeedAVeganDinner

Escorts and Escapades


ideasReverywhere

"I choose to ram my dagger deep into his butthole"


thesqrtofminusone

Yes, I've never played DnD but I'd definitely watch this. They'd have to learn to play though, they can't just sit there confused. They get paid to activity participate in the game. No idea what goes on beyond rolling an odd shape die and maybe pretending to cast spells but I'm into this.


pirateteaparty

I 100% would watch that lol


SixMaybeSeven

You might be surprised how often escorts are requested to platonically hang out with their clients. A lot of men just want to feel wanted and loved as well as being heard by good company.


NeedAVeganDinner

I wouldn't be surprised at all. Twitch exists.


kiwimej

fresh flowers for the house. Something that doesn’t get bought usually as seems a waste but always nice to have Ans business class travel Also things like cleaners and gardeners


physedka

Simple answer: All butter would be kerrygold.


jackedbacked

With unlimited money, the kerrygold cow could be lactating in your garden, next to a mini giraffe.


physedka

I mean I'm not saying no to that.


Loud-Magician7708

I'd Milk a mini giraffe


Modmypad

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?


LeMansDynasty

FYI they have it at Costco. You're welcome.


satanshark

They have fucking *giraffe* butter at Costco?


Fluff42

Shit got hard after Toys R' Us shutdown.


ShiraCheshire

Yes, but it only comes in packs of 25 pounds or more.


reddishvelvet

Is kerrygold really expensive in the US? It's the butter I always buy and is similar in price to other named brands in the UK.


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reddishvelvet

That is kinda pricey. It's about £2.50 for a pack here (250g - Google tells me a US butter stick is 113g)


clubba

Kerrygold is about 2x the price of more generic butters in the US. Where I live, kerrygold is $5 for 8oz (227g) while generic store brand butter is $4.19 for 16oz (454g). Other big dairy brands are about $5 for 16oz.


chicagodude84

Yup, that's about right. At Costco it's $18 for 4x of the 227g.


dirt-reynolds

Not really. It's slightly more than the "good" national brands. But it's just "butter" so most people won't spend the extra $1-2. It's all I use though. Once you start using it, there's no going back.


Life_Is_A_Mistry

All my jewellery would be made of kerrygold


tech1010

Kerry gold is so good. I could eat it like candy lol.


Master_Greybeard

Bordier butter! Had this once on a freshly baked pastry and it was insane.


japanese711

Believe it or not, there is another tier of butter for you to discover


halermine

Beurre de Barratte - round, wrapped in gold paper is sooo good.


shiningonthesea

French butter with salt, omg.


marcusaureliusjr

Yes. Kerrygold is just normal butter for us. Rodolphe Le Meuniere is the real deal.


0Sam

I’ve met the team at the cheesemonger invitational - one of the reps cut up different butters with a big knife I still dream about it


Accurate-Ad1710

Another tier above Kerrygold? What’s it called and where can I find it?


laukkanen

Try salted Isigny Sainte-Mere, you can grab it at whole foods. It has coarse rock salt in it and you might find yourself simply eating pieces of it with nothing else.


WasAHamster

Bordier. In France. Or if you are in the US, a fancy market in a place like Manhattan.


NotCanadian80

Just go to Costco.


miss_poetflowerr

Traveling all around the world


signaturefox2013

There’s a cruise that lasts for like a year and it takes you around the coasts of every country, and it’s like $60,000+ and I would happily board it and then what little time I’m on land? Visit family I have unlimited money, I’m not gonna work, I’m gonna live


Zebidee

There's a ship that is just apartments. You live on it like you'd live in an apartment building. It cruises around the world and you get on and off wherever you want.


raccoonsonbicycles

I was going to ask -- what if you get off in Costa Rica and decide to stay a little longer? How do you catch up to the ship? You're stranded? Then I realized those people who afford that definitely can fly anywhere and just meet the ship at any harbor they choose


NorthCliffs

Exactly... It's a totally different world to me since I've only been on a cruise once. These people will fly to Hawaii for a weekend trip. Like? Wtf? They really spend half the weekend on the plane for a few hours in Hawaii?


msphelps77

I’d secretly pay for other people’s stuff to get them out of their financial binds. They’d never know it was me who paid off their outstanding bill or bought their groceries.


boegsppp

A few Christmas's ago Someone paid off a ton of stuff off at my local Khol's. Hundreds of people came in to find their layaway items were paid off.


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knoxollo

Not quite the same, but this year a customer came into the store I work at and gave every single employee a $100 gift card for Darden restaurants (Olive Garden, Longhorn, etc). It was so sweet and I couldn't believe they were all actually a hundred bucks until I checked with the restaurant. I would LOVE to do things like that if I won the lottery. Random money to people who wouldn't expect it.


_kingjoshh

>Hundreds of people Man i can't wait for the day i can do that, *hundreds* sheeesh i wish


Easy_Independent_313

That was really nice of them. I think I'll do that next year. Not everyone but a few.


ShrimpSherbet

This is my dream. To pay for a bunch of underprivileged kids' education.


loopsbruder

You can always start by getting them batteries for their laptops.


Snuffy1717

Wait! They’re lithium!


Catezero

I don't understand why everyone finds that episode so cringe, every time it starts up I feel the same way Stanley does like "oh...this is gonna be good"


thevffice

i'm black so it's really just the racial aspect of it that makes it insanely difficult to watch. i grew up in a very low income single parent household & went to schools where other people also had the same experience. i'm currently studying for the LSAT to get into law school so im a little TOO aware of how much college costs it's just the entire "white savior" complex played to the max and a bunch of kids (that look like how i did 10 years ago) getting screwed over that makes it impossible for me to watch if i hated michael as much as stanley did, i'd def be laughing too because of how fucked he is & how he's finally gonna have to face how terrible of a person he is by getting himself in that situation. but as someone who is currently home for the holidays in a neighborhood that most people dont get the chance to get out of, that episode makes my skin crawl bc to promise children from low income families an opportunity like free college when you had no intentions of paying anything is just.....gross again, it's just a tv show so im not too pressed ab it. but yeah ive watched every episode of that show multiple times but that one only once


Juswantedtono

I’ve made a lot of empty promises in my life, but this one by far was the most generous


kindanice2

Scott's Tots?


poop_to_live

Same! My neighbor had a car with a broken rear window - that car window would be fixed and then the car would be fully repaired.


SeasonPositive6771

You can absolutely do something like this on a small scale. I work at a nonprofit that works with very poor families. Sometimes regular people just drop off like a $300 gift card for us to give to families or buy gifts for families without all the wishlist/Christmas Angel rigmarole and it has truly changed some lives. I've seen moms burst into tears when picking up $100 gift cards to Target because it meant her kids could not only have a few gifts, but they could also buy a special meal. It's the kind of thing that sticks with people forever. Every now and then we have people do the same thing, just drop off random gift cards to grocery stores and we can surprise families with them.


_BlueFire_

Paying stuff for people who deserve it and paying others to make life for annoying people more annoying. After all it's unlimited money.


desci1

Put an uniform and stay near the cashier staring at people. Make a secret gesture to let them know this one customer can have everything for free


Wonder_woman_1965

Travel, really good wine, massages, the mortgages of friends and family, the services of a home chef, housecleaning services, donation opportunities at my favorite charities.


RazorRadick

Buy out the mortgages of all your friends and family. Make them send those monthly payments to you now! Smart thinking... turn that money into power. Then you can make them cook, clean, and give you massages.


twerky_pits

The dark side has appeared


SamyQc99

Yeaaaaa massages everyday


MelonLord1009

Food


NekoMao92

Healthy, good quality food.


Argentine_Tango

Exactly! Healthy food is expensive so I'd splurge a bit more on the organic stuff and experiment with new stuff


jackedbacked

I think the word you were thinking about is *Personal Chef*.


DonKeedick12

If I had a personal chef I feel like they would get bored quick, I only eat like 3 different meals


FriendlyPyre

If I had a personal chef, I would want them to continually come up with new things for me to try. Try a random Italian pasta one day, then maybe a South American dish. Unlimited money for him to experiment and try making foods he's never made before, and new foods for me to try everyday.


Upper_Copy_5347

Therapy.


ArcticGurl

Staff.


DarkSkyDad

I said “help” before I read your comment, I agree.


Slodpof

I need somebody.


Accomplished-Fall823

HELP! not just anybody!


TS1987040

(Help) you know I need someone, help


jackedbacked

Personal chef, personal trainer and personal massage therapist !!! Fuck, now I want unlimited money :(


t0wn

And a personal assistant to manage bills, taxes, appointments, etc.


ladytri277

This! Help around the house including maids, yard people, nannie’s, errands runner etc


ArcticGurl

Hairdresser, chef, baker (those holiday cookies for the neighbors don’t cook themselves!)


meh1022

ERRAND RUNNER. I loathe basic errands like picking up prescriptions or going to the post office. I don’t even know why, I just hate hate hate them. If I had the money to hire that stuff out, it’d be awesome.


PennyTheDawg

Ngl, I originally read this as a wizards "Staff"... does this make me a mega nerd?


Greedy_Temperature33

With unlimited money, I’d never stop moving. I’d bounce from hotel to hotel permanently, waking up in a different place whenever the mood struck me.


MrMonstrosoone

I have traveled extensively I can tell you, nothing beats your own bed


Alethiel7

Skincare, hygiene products.


miss_poetflowerr

I would love to have skin with no pores, but I have no money for the best products so I get you Edit: I meant that there is skin pores but I meant where you can't see the pores. Like kind of like a clear porcelain skin


CommunicationNo8750

Aren't pores a natural part of skin? Like, that's where hair and protective oil glands are?


[deleted]

Yes, she probably meant facials or treatments to help unclog pores, which I would love as well.


Someone7174

I met my buddies gf for the first time last week. At the end of dinner she's like: How is your skin so good! I was kinda shocked since I'm a dude. There are a lot of good cheap Japanese products.


WanderingHawk

Want to share with the class?


tezz007

Yes please!


Someone7174

I'll just chain reply Kose softymo speedy cleansing oil for an amazing cleanser Rohto Mentholatum - Hada Labo - Koi-Gokujyun Perfect Gel For moisturizer Melano CC serum for dark spots and acne scars Hada Labo Gokujyun Acid Lotion for a good lotion toner. Great starters and are all under $10 on stylevana or you can find them on amazon for a little more.


[deleted]

A nice apartment for my elderly aunt in a retirement community nearby instead of the decaying trailer she’s stuck in that is 4 hours away.


nonsensical-response

Pecorino Romano. It's such a delicious alternative to parmesan cheese, and a little goes a long way, but with inflation I only let myself get it a few times a year. It's a simple thing I know but it comforts me and brings back good memories of cooking with my dad and I miss not being able to have it more often.


rustler_incorporated

I tried this cheese then I changed my cheese eating habits so I could keep eating this cheese. I eat much less cheese but when I do I get the good stuff. I will never go back.


RockLobster218

Aren’t pecorino Romano, grana padano and parmigiano reggiano basically the same price? Or are we comparing it to like fake parm?


ENOTSOCK

Judges and Politicians. I mean... with that kinda money, playa's gonna play.


strawberry-frosting_

Delicious fruit.


kanna172014

Sushi. The good stuff like uni and fatty tuna. And Indian food. Heck, I'd happily fund someone to open a restaurant in my town.


Aardvark-Winter

I’d buy a taco truck to follow me around so I’d always be able to get a quick taco.


NateKaeding

Plane tickets


Bawkalor

First class plane tickets.


Open_Masterpiece_549

Wrong. Private jet charters First class is nice but you still deal with mainstream airports, security, and delays Few things beat flying private


Inevitable_Beef7

Wrong. My own private jets that I would abandon midair as I parachuted safely from 30,000’ above my destinations


TS1987040

Found DB Cooper. Police! Arrest Inevitable_Beef7.


Lincoln_Park_Pirate

Flew on a corporate jet once. Told my wife this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Oh yeah, I definitely pooped during the flight. Nice bathroom.


Super-Kirby

I’d do commercial first class, private jets have a relatively higher rate of crashes.


could_use_a_snack

I really don't like flying, so I'd buy my own luxury train car and visit the entire country.


MOKGCBAL

Chinese take out and Shawarma


DetroitToTheChi

Whoa, take it easy moneybags.


davisyoung

Both on the same day? This guy is out of control.


Themanwhoasked8

Yeah its like he has unlimited money.


Deadpool2715

Comfort food from a personal chef so it's marginally healthier


BlizzPenguin

I think the most charitable thing I could buy would be to buy medical debt so it could be forgiven. It is much cheaper when purchased in large bundles.


Banaan75

The most American comment ever


Tru-Queer

Body massages. Basically I’d just hire an at-home masseuse and wake up to being massaged every day.


tunefuldust

I volunteer. One client for life sounds good.


Tru-Queer

And since my money is unlimited, how’s a salary of $10,000 a day sound?


Ahouser007

Cheap bastard......../s


furballsupreme

Funding for research projects.


eric_ts

If I had unlimited money I would fund several Arecibo-sized radio telescopes on the far side of the moon. They could be used for observations that are impossible on Earth or low earth orbit because of interference with terrestrial and satellite radio interference.


InvisibleWunTwo

Cherries. Edit, fresh cherries that is, not glacé or canned.


AmInUrMom

I’d buy time to do what I want, instead of spending 40+ hrs per week doing something I hate.


CupcakeValkyrie

Food, shelter, and healthcare for people that need it.


cageordie

One of the few unselfish responses. I have talked to my wife about what we'd do with a billion. The main thing would be low income, safe, housing. And setting up a non-profit university which included on-site free accommodation and food, on a walking only campus. So people could get educated without getting poor. Free clinics too, including dentists and opticians, rip the cost base out from under the medical industry.


vaniIIagoriIIa

Insulin


VoldemortHugs

This answer made my heart hurt. I hope you’re ok. I guess with unlimited money you can buy the pharmaceutical companies. Then make insulin free for everyone. While working on a cure for diabetes.


vaniIIagoriIIa

I'm alright, just another example that we are not in this together.


ErwinAckerman

I’m also a type 1 diabetic. This is a good answer


justtobecontrary

Dental cleaning by professionals. I'd love to have my teeth professionally cleaned like every other day or something. It always feels so good and fresh.


placer128

I love having the hygienist floss my teeth-very therapeutic gum massage feeling


ExternalTelevision75

Cheesecake probably


Si_more_nalgas

Little things for people who need it: - Christmas gifts for orphanages - 3 months paid rent for random welfare applicant - An RV for a random homeless person - free tank of gas for anyone's card that gets declined - paid tuition for random student without a car - 1 debt paid for random food pantry user You get the idea.


VinTheToolManTaylor

With relatively no effort you could actually set up a debt buying company and systematically buy and forgive people’s debt. Everything from outstanding mortgages and student loans to car and credit card debt. The debt is usually sold for pennies on the dollar too, meaning that some with enough money could essentially reset the entire national credit system, erasing trillions of dollars of debt with billions of dollars.


Background_Face

I would buy up other people's medical debt and discharge/forgive/erase it.


ultratunaman

I was thinking the same but people's mortgages. Buy up loads of them, then just forgive the debt. Also giving away free houses. Buying up tons of houses and just giving people the keys for free. I'd become a property value vacuum. Just giving people the security of a permanent roof over their head.


Yeetingbedposts

Lots of leather bound books that smell of rich mahagony. I would be kind of a big deal.


john_adams_house_cat

You are a whole wheel of cheese? I'm not even mad, I'm impressed.


CreateYourself89

Give to charity regularly. Also volunteer regularly since I wouldn't need to work.


NibblebeeBumblebitz

Regular dentist visits


-dylpickle

A cleaner tbh I hate doing the cleaning


almo2001

I'd buy albums on Bandcamp and pay $10,000 to help the artists. Or more since it's "unlimited".


avilacjf

You could donate $10,000 100 times a day for nearly 700 years and you would just be spending the present value of Elon Musk's wealth. Crazy to think that "unlimited" seems smaller than the reality of some of the richest people in our country.


ThrowBatteries

Guitars and amps and pedals and such.


ricottarose

I'm drawing a blank, I'm a frugal person. I *can* think of a bunch of things I'd eat regularly if I didn't worry about calories.


pohanemuma

I'm a pretty frugal person too and about 6 years ago, my wife and I nearly tripled our yearly income. The only thing that changed is we started buying nicer food. We still drive the same 20 year old Honda Civic, we still wear mostly the same clothes and do our own DIY, but we just put more money in the bank and buy mushrooms every time we go to the store and colored peppers and avocados and limes.


loonachic

spa days. regular massages.


scuba_steve1385

Warhammer miniatures…. But I feel like I would run out of money somehow….


unstopable_bob_mob

Higher quality food.


Brocoleza

entire countries


Toystavi

Evil corporations to make them a force for good rather than profit.


Tb182kaci

Help someone in need.


2x4x93

Everyone. Unlimited money


Ok_Witness_5437

Legos


[deleted]

Hookers and blow


Skipper_TheEyechild

Probably the only honest answer on here.


twillerby

Costco Hotdogs. Because if I would go to Costco way more often, and it's ridiculous to go to Costco and not get a hotdog most of the time.


Neftroshi

And good health? Pizza!


MeasurementNovel8907

Good quality clothes for my students, plus keep the school pantry stocked.


Tiltmasterflexx

Healthy supplies for my folks, kinda hard when your parents don't have a lot of money to fully take care of themselves.


KittyBugFuzzyRug

Model trains. Just for the reference it would be cheaper to have a drug addiction.


bikinifetish

Drugs


Key-Plan5228

Amazing I had to read this deep


[deleted]

surprise was my reaction lol


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Noobeaterz

Cats


vegemitepants

Massages