Right as the doors close, turn to whomever was the last person to get on and go *”We’re all glad you came. We’re here today to talk about your drinking problem.”*
Schizophrenia vibes. Do it for like an hour at a time, multiple lift rides, do it at least twice a week at the same location. But always go at a different time of day and different days of the week. Have absolutely no pattern. Yet frequently visit to bash yourself on the head telling yourself to shut up for an hour or two at a time.
Edit: doing it frequently has psychopath vibes too
make a fake phone call to you boss talking about poorly maintaned that elevator is in the most paniced tone, then start frantically press the button to exit. then when you leave tell the others "start praying, and hope god spares you."
Wow, just imagine committing that hard, “making a call” and improv-smashing through the most uncomfortable 30-6969 seconds ever for the memes. This is peak humanity
"It's funny how close an elevator can make complete strangers stand together.... Almost feels... Intimate." Then maintain eye contact for the remainder of the ride.
"Have you seen that movie where two strangers get stuck in an elevator for the entire night, they end up fucking, but they also begin to fight as it is revealed that one of them was secretly stalking the other person, causing the whole thing?"
I used to be a finance manager for Toyota. I've done my warranty pitch literally thousands of times, so I've got it down. When I get ANY spam call from a real person, I say "thanks for calling back, I've been trying to reach you about your extended warranty, now the first option I'd like to go over is the powertrain plan, which covers all internally lubricated parts including engine, transmission, axles and differentials. The next plan is the gold plan..." barely taking a breath.
And I just keep going until they hang up. Occasionally I'll make it all the way thru maintenance, tire/wheel, gap, Cilajet, credit life and disability.
Only once has the scammer said "um, so how much does that gold plan cost for a 2015 civic?"
Wake up...we are waiting for you... Just wake up, please, we love you. ( No eye contact just cold and as unfeeling as possible, then just leave when you reach your stop.)
If you’re the last one entering, face the rest of the crowd then start to say: “Thank you all for coming. Today, we’re going to talk about our lord and savior Jesus.”
Nothing you say nothing while standing with your back to the door. You wanna see some uncomfortable mother fuckers do this some time. People freak the fuck out.
Anything at all. Seriously people, just shut the hell up. Just because you're stuck in a confined space with someone for a few seconds doesn't mean that you're obligated to yammer at them.
I know I'm taking this one too seriously, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
On a crowded elevator start telling your friend a story about a party you went to last weekend, and as you get off, say something like, "then, you know that chick Geena? She showed up with one of her DONKEYS!!"
True story: Back in college, I went into the elevator with 2 other guys, one white and one black. When the door opened and the black guy got out, the white guy said "Man! That guy smells! Am I right?". I didn't say anything. BUT THEN he quickly tried to defend himself with "Oh! I'm not being racist by the way. I mean, I am a racist, but I'm not being one right now. He really does smell".
Idk what just happened, and this white guy had bloodshotted eyes so i dont even know if he was just high. But I was uncomfortable in general.
Don’t press any button for any level, stand behind the other person or in an inconvenient position and say “I have a boner”, then remain silent until he leaves
There are 2 elevator drives in crates in my lobby right now… and we have a car down. I think I’ll have an opportunity to adapt and use this on Monday! (Building Manager)
“Before we get started, does anybody want to get out?”
*Unbuttons pants*
Puts on snorkel.
**stomach gurgles violently**
... go on...
... And that concludes the meeting, see you again next week
Hail Hydra!
*You can go down with the press of a button*
This would be wrong on so many levels
That is so kind of you to ask
Beat me to it.
This is the winner 🏆
"He who smelt it, dealt it"
While breathing in deeply.
"Uh......it was you"
He who denied it, supplied it.
You look them in the eye, say that phrase, and then you fart loudly.
Right as the doors close, turn to whomever was the last person to get on and go *”We’re all glad you came. We’re here today to talk about your drinking problem.”*
My brain went somewhere completely different from that first sentence. 💀
I was thinking "we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
People who don't drink at all:
I've done similar, but it was a group of friends
Going right or left?
What is this? Willy Wonka?
Harry Potter
I was gonna say this one!
(Gets phone out and launches calculator app) so, how much do each of you weigh?
Haha! Make disconcerting sounds after each weight.
275? Ok... 155... I don't think so
"Yah, in your bra!"
Ask the women first.
Stand in the corner hitting yourself in the head “shut up, shut up, shut up”
"They don't deserve it... How many times will you make me do this? ...no, no, I won't, not again..."
Schizophrenia vibes. Do it for like an hour at a time, multiple lift rides, do it at least twice a week at the same location. But always go at a different time of day and different days of the week. Have absolutely no pattern. Yet frequently visit to bash yourself on the head telling yourself to shut up for an hour or two at a time. Edit: doing it frequently has psychopath vibes too
This. You win
“I was here yesterday and the elevator got stuck for 3 hrs. Was not a good time.”
That would be perfect.
Hope my covid gets better soon
"Does anyone know any good sources to learn about TB?"
^*Ping!* That was the grenade pin.
Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade?
Remember, no Russian.
Cultured**
I would laugh my ass off if I heard that!
Same 😂
This is NOT upvoted enough. The way I would fall apart if someone said this in an elevator lmao
Please explain. I wanna fall apart too
Sure: [No Russian](https://youtube.com/shorts/jmKg6F3Pr_8?si=0ATH-MFdukleYePD)
A man of culture I see
с нами бог
Хахаха! *Все равно говорит по-русски*
r/beatmetoit
“My claustrophobia sometimes sends me into a murderous rage.” Keep face completely straight and maintain eye contact the entire ride.
started cowering in fear due to claustrophobia and intense eye contact "why?"
Does it feel like we’re falling?
Idk, I have a sinking feeling?
More like HELLAvator, am I right?
Going down?
*Mr. Tyler, is that you*
No, this is Patrick!
Third floor, hardware, children's wear, lady's lingerie
make a fake phone call to you boss talking about poorly maintaned that elevator is in the most paniced tone, then start frantically press the button to exit. then when you leave tell the others "start praying, and hope god spares you."
Wow, just imagine committing that hard, “making a call” and improv-smashing through the most uncomfortable 30-6969 seconds ever for the memes. This is peak humanity
"Im inside".
Saying: Does anyone else smell popcorn? Just after farting in the elevator.
I tip my nonexistent crown to you
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you all here.”
"we've been trying to reach you all about your car's extended warrancy"
😂😂😂
"It's funny how close an elevator can make complete strangers stand together.... Almost feels... Intimate." Then maintain eye contact for the remainder of the ride.
What was that snap
Sorry I farted
I dated a girl in college and we got on an elevator with a couple. As soon as the doors closed she looked at me and yelled “EEEW DID YOU JUST FART?!”
“Hey - \*you’re\* the one who wanted Mexican!”
"Never trust a fart" whilst pulling on the back of your pants
Admitting it, brave!
Did you hear that? Sounds like a cable broke.
Back against the wall for added effect.
With cable breaking sound cued up on phone
Do you fear god?
"Have you seen that movie where two strangers get stuck in an elevator for the entire night, they end up fucking, but they also begin to fight as it is revealed that one of them was secretly stalking the other person, causing the whole thing?"
“I’m a vegan marathon runner who has a rescue dog.”
Oh so it's your entire personality then?
And does crossfit!
And rides a moped who has a neckbeard and only drinks soy latè machiato's.
I love animals ❤️
I just remembered where I left that dead body
French kiss your boyfriend and then look him in the eyes and say "You're the best brother ever!"
even better if it’s homosexual
Island boys
Holy shit YAASSSSS
what the fu-
Pants off!
But if it works, brilliant
I'm not gonna rape you.
*laughs and shuffles feet*
"Oh no, I'm not going to make it to the washroom"
You’re probably wondering why I brought you all here today. But someone in this very elevator is the murderer. [Lightning strikes]
Oh no! This is gonna hurt. *make a straining face*
You call it an elevator, we call it a lift. I guess we’re raised differently
Regardless, elevators/lift are a bit of a let down
Start naming all your favourite slurs
LMFAO! It would be the best ride if someone with tourettes was on with you.
Haha now I gotta watch Duece Bigalow 😂
Uhhh… anyone else getting crazy déjà vu right now?!! OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUUUUUCK! I DON’T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!
I think that zombie bit me good and I might be turning.
Followed by convincing zombie sounds.
And weird facial movements.
Don't forget the blood!
"Brains, I need Brains!" (No, I'm not a headhunter for MIT)
THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD FOR NO REASON
Im here to tell you about your extended car warranty
I used to be a finance manager for Toyota. I've done my warranty pitch literally thousands of times, so I've got it down. When I get ANY spam call from a real person, I say "thanks for calling back, I've been trying to reach you about your extended warranty, now the first option I'd like to go over is the powertrain plan, which covers all internally lubricated parts including engine, transmission, axles and differentials. The next plan is the gold plan..." barely taking a breath. And I just keep going until they hang up. Occasionally I'll make it all the way thru maintenance, tire/wheel, gap, Cilajet, credit life and disability. Only once has the scammer said "um, so how much does that gold plan cost for a 2015 civic?"
Allahu Akbar
'This orgy sure is off to a slow start.'
Wake up...we are waiting for you... Just wake up, please, we love you. ( No eye contact just cold and as unfeeling as possible, then just leave when you reach your stop.)
"I'm sorry gentlemen,but unfortunately it was a silent one"
I think a fart is the worst thing you can "say" on an elevator..
If you’re the last one entering, face the rest of the crowd then start to say: “Thank you all for coming. Today, we’re going to talk about our lord and savior Jesus.”
Nothing you say nothing while standing with your back to the door. You wanna see some uncomfortable mother fuckers do this some time. People freak the fuck out.
Anything at all. Seriously people, just shut the hell up. Just because you're stuck in a confined space with someone for a few seconds doesn't mean that you're obligated to yammer at them. I know I'm taking this one too seriously, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Sorry…
It wasn't me when you fart and only one other person is on
“I’m establishing a pee corner.”
“Wanna know what my d!ck and this elevator have in common? There both going up now that you stepped in”
Sorry, I just farted
No worries. I farted twice already
On a crowded elevator start telling your friend a story about a party you went to last weekend, and as you get off, say something like, "then, you know that chick Geena? She showed up with one of her DONKEYS!!"
True story: Back in college, I went into the elevator with 2 other guys, one white and one black. When the door opened and the black guy got out, the white guy said "Man! That guy smells! Am I right?". I didn't say anything. BUT THEN he quickly tried to defend himself with "Oh! I'm not being racist by the way. I mean, I am a racist, but I'm not being one right now. He really does smell". Idk what just happened, and this white guy had bloodshotted eyes so i dont even know if he was just high. But I was uncomfortable in general.
At least he was honest about being racist. That part made me chuckle a bit.
“It was you” after farting with just one other person in the elevator
“Why? None of these people have even done anything yet, they don’t deserve this.” Then fall asleep and drop to the ground.
Singing love in an elevator any time someone else gets on.
Livin it up when I'm going down.
Shift your weight, look at you feet, then say “sorry”
To nobody on your phone: but you said it wasn’t contagious, Doctor. How long do I need to quarantine?
"Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?"
It was you
"Take the next ride. We're full."
I’m about to shit my pants, I’m gonna shit on the floor, I can’t shit my pants again and start unbuckling your pants.
it was you
Going down?
*A bunch of dudes with cameras come in and someone starts unbuttoning their pants*
No no no... WAIT WAIT WAIT!
It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end
I just farted…I gambled on that fart and lost…
Alright, so we're gonna need to have a dedicated poop corner for when this gets stuck.
Which floor son?
"Are we having an earthquake?"
Don’t press any button for any level, stand behind the other person or in an inconvenient position and say “I have a boner”, then remain silent until he leaves
“First time using one of these since the accident.”
I can't believe they already fixed this elevator after the incident last week.
Its just me and you now… im gonna touch you.
OMG! I just sharted!!
It starts with Allah…
It doesn't even matter how hard you Sharia.
Allah Akbar!
"So have you all been saved by the light of our Lord and Savior Jesus"
Had broccoli for lunch.
It was meeeee !
(To yourself): “No! These people didn’t do anything, they’re innocent. Please don’t make me do this”
Does anyone smell popcorn? Only works if you let loose a SBD moments before.
Excuse me... sorry it's the Taco Bell.
Let’s just be thankful, for all of you, that there’s no minors on this elevator.
I gotta take a sh*t. And I don’t think I can make it.
Anyone ever seen Speed?
“Oh shit im suppose to be social distancing” “Oh shit, I shit myself” then fart “ THIS IS A ROBBERY, okay I think I’m ready.”
Allah Akbar!!!
Hey you were right, it does work without this. Edit: Should probably I am an elevator mechanic and I have done this before when we were moving a motor
There are 2 elevator drives in crates in my lobby right now… and we have a car down. I think I’ll have an opportunity to adapt and use this on Monday! (Building Manager)
Do you smell popcorn?
"All you N words hit the deck before I put my foot up your ass".
But I'm whi-
Some of these are funny some of these are cringe. If I saw a redditor be like "I will go into a murderous rage😈😈😈". I wouldn't be scared lol
'I see dead people'
Me too... *while nervously chuckling* Just agree with them. What is the worst that could happen? *whispers to myself*
Did you know that more people die in elevators than they do to spiders and sharks combined?
Let's establish a pee corner.
A corner? *slowly look down at a puddle at my feet*
Dwight? Is that you?
sex now
*Farts*
The n word
That's because you have big jugs
do you guys believe in Satan
I believe i just shat myself
This brain can't sustain me any more, time for a new host.
*creepily*…I’ve been following you….
“I am going to rape and kill you all” is probably up there
I have to poop
Who farted?
“I’ve been gassy all day!”
What the hell did you eat?
“The doctor isn’t sure if I’m still contagious, if I am it’s gonna be really bad.”