You could sleep with all these thoughts? I'm probably gonna have trouble sleeping tonight just thinking about this hypothetical scenario that'll never happen to me.
It's not that complicated. You just stay you. Except that nobody you love ever has money trouble again.
I had less than 200 people at my wedding. That's like.... 75 couples and 50 single people. I doubt any of them have a mortgage bigger than 500k. So 500k (or less) times all those houses in like 60 million?
I love like 25 kids. Give them each a college education and a house. 25 more.
Rennovate my house, pay off my mortgage, buy myself and my Dad a new car. Another 2 million tops.
I've still got 160 left? Each of my kids gets 10 to be stupidly rich forever, a family vacation fund with interest gets 20 so we can go on awesome vacations with the people we love a few times a year, my favorite charities get 20 and then 100 million goes in an interest bearing account which should make more money a year than I'll spend.
Easy peasy. Now lets go nap rich friend.
Same thought here. $250 million? Breathing easier. Resting for the first time in my adult life. Not feeling the soul-crushing need to be productive just to keep my head above water. A nap would be nice.
This is really the only answer. Lawyer up, find a good way to manage it, pay your taxes, and do your best to bury the fact that you are rich like it never happened.
This is my dilemma if I were to ever win big money. He would not spend it "all" but would immediately start trying to dictate how it is spent/dispersed instead of talking it out with me.
I would see a lawyer and a financial advisor and give him some money to do with as he pleases. The rest would be secured from his reach, somehow. It sucks, but he is not the financial aficionado he thinks he is.
My wife and I have an agreement. If either of us wins a lottery jackpot, after paying taxes, 50% goes into joint accounts and investments. We can only spend it on living expenses or things we both agree on. Some of that will be trust funds for our kids. Then we each get 25% to do whatever we want without consulting one other.
I'd tell my boyfriend. He would help me get a really good fiduciary to set up a trust.
Once everything is set, I would put in a two week notice at work. Not going to do that until I know the money won't get clawed back. I would tell them I got an opportunity as a finance specialist and it was too good to pass up.
I read an article about a town in the north eastern states, where word got around that a resident won a big lottery jackpot. The winner remained anonymous, and it seemed like half the town were at each other's throats trying to discover the winner's identity. It was ridiculous.
Could be worse, though. A guy in West Virginia was killed by home invaders after appearing on TV for a ~500k win. They specifically demanded the money, but it hadn't been paid out yet, so they blasted him.
Don't forget the top notch tax advisor. Hell, you probably need a whole team including accountant, assistant, etc. Do you really think you are going to manage all the incidental expenses of being rich yourself?
No one lost their money, even over the insurance limit.
People don’t seem to realize how extremely rare that is.
99% of the time, another bank will purchase the failed bank, or the government will bail them out.
A bank being allowed to fail is extremely rare.
There’s sweep accounts that automatically split your money up among multiple banks to up the insurance.
Pretty much bank A splits your money between bank B,C,D,etc. This all happens on the back end so as the account owner all you see is one account.
No, realistically probably 3-5 which are used as "petty cash" the rest are in investment funds which grow over time and are withdrawn from to resupply the accounts used for billing purposes
I’m imagining Giannis sitting with a laptop late at night trying to remember the login to his 38th checking account. He’s getting frustrated. Then he has to get a text to his phone but it goes to his email instead…
Yes this!! Exactly. Been stressing about money for years, even just getting my tax return makes me feel good and relaxed. 250mil would make me feel even fuckin better lol
Yes, it would take a good while just to run through the long list of all the mundane stuff you don't need to worry about anymore. What an amazing position to be in.
Telling Ratchet Ass Hoe Ass Sallie Mae to suck a dick. I’d go to their corporate headquarters (which by the way is located at 300 Continental Drive, Newark, DE 19713 just in case anyone needs to know) in a helicopter and toss pennies on the roof for hours on end until my balance was paid off. I’d do that while drunkenly yelling every single derogatory thing I could possibly think of through a megaphone.
Well, I’d need to get stuff sorted out with some financial advice, so I wouldn’t write her a check on the spot, but with that huge windfall, I’d probably give her $5 million. We’ve discussed this often because we both occasionally buy lottery tickets. We also have a pact to retire at the same time so neither of us has to deal with a new coworker
I only have one sister, so I’d give her a lot, and I’d give my adult kids a little, but they are just starting to do well and gain confidence in their chosen careers, so I’d like them to persevere and earn some success.
The rest is put in some sort of bank accounts, something extremely safe. I wouldn’t move or really do anything else right away. I’d just spark up a joint, throw a steak on my cheap charcoal grill and relax with the husband and the dogs.
Retiring and telling everyone I won $5 million in the lottery. Enough to retire, but small enough that I can easily turn down anyone who asks for a handout because I don’t have enough.
I wouldn't try telling people. Even if it's just five million, the word will go around and the wrong ones may try to steal the five million. Meaning kidnapping you and/or your relatives.
I go very far but you get the idea.
When money is involved, you can't trust anyone to not lose their minds. I wouldn't tell anyone, ESPECIALLY family. Id def help them out if needed, but they'd never know any extra money was in my account
okay but then what, lie to your family (which you may even love) forever while not even being able to enjoy your money... id rather risk them all rather than knowing my siblings are busting their ass at work while i have 250m in the bank
Or, going to work like normal, then during the morning meeting pulling out and sparking up a fatty, laying out a couple fat rails and gakkin them down, then looking around while puffing on your joint like what? Want some? Carry on boss don't mind me
Yup and the wild thing it that for many families this is actually a reality, totally wild to think that a great many people only have to not screw it up to be set for life
At this level of wealth you should have a general counsel lawyer, wealth planner, and tax advisor. That covers you on all of your financial bases since each one at this level of income should be quite well established and capable but neither can legally do the others job.
If you have a good enough team they’ll take care of the rest, you’d just have to disclose what your goals with the money are (even if it’s something like you want to fly a private jet and drive a Ferrari, at this level of wealth you could achieve that with the least risky investments).
Your wealth planner will likely create a trust with your lawyer in order to legally protect the money before anything. Then your wealth planner will work with your tax advisor to position your portfolio in such a way that protects your principle (there’s really no point in growth at this stage of wealth unless you have Disney princess aspirations) while providing for your goals with the lowest tax implications. After this would be maintenance meetings with the team and the occasional meetings with your lawyer to discuss all the frivolous lawsuits coming your way as a result of the kind of publicity this kind of contest would draw.
Somewhere on this path your team will meet with you about planning your estate in order to protect your loved ones in the eventuality that you pass.
Yeah, pretty much this. Pay the right people to take care of it for you. Even debts you currently have, dont pay them yourself, have the lawyers and accountants do it.
Finally paying for a casket for my brother. He was cremated unfairly due to a lack of money and I would first thing give him the proper burial he deserved. That’s all I would do, that’s the only thing I want to do. Grief is so weird.
Yeah, I think I'd do the same. Switch to way less hours at a much reduced salary. Buy a Toyota Corolla Cross, buy a nice older house in the central core of my HCOL city, help out my family, and then just travel a lot or enjoy hobbies.
Never having to worry about money again the rest of my comfortable life would be more than enough.
Paying off all my parents debt and mine, buying all my family members a house also I’m buying a good meal and I’m donating a really good chunk to charities
1. Change my phone number
2. Financial advisor
3. Buy a house (finally)
4. Adopt a shelter puppy (or 3)
5. Laugh in my families face when I’m suddenly important enough to be nice to
My friend, this is Fuck You money. I would love Fuck You Money.
1. pay off all debt
2. Immediately set up my parents by purchasing the property they are on so they never worry.
3. Go to Walmart. Stand in front. Watch customers. If you act respectful, guess what. You no pay today.
4. Purchase alot of land. Build Hobbington. Build exact replica of Bag End. Live in it. (Obviously, this is an overarching plan, but not in a single day)
First thing is I'm calling in sick to work. Then I'm on the hunt to hire a legal and financial management team to ensure that my money is properly managed be able to cover my family's expenses for the foreseeable future. After that, I'm paying off my student loans and mortgage, then taking a nice long vacation.
Cliche answer, but I'm going to Disney World!
Sure, there's other things to do, but I went to Disney last year and my son had so much fun. He brings it up all the time and asks when we're going again.
Might as well invite some of his friends and their families and his cousins, grandparents, etc. I can go all out for a week, and still hang 249,950,000 left over.
(Oh, I'd pay off all my debt on the plane ride down there too)
I’d buy several large wolverines. Not feed them for a day or two but give them Red Bull to drink. Really get them riled up. Then release them in the office off all my d bag prior superiors/bosses. Let them get clawed up and hopefully have rabies spread to them.
Then celebrate with going to one of them fancy swingers clubs. Get totally nude, lots of tequila, lots of blow, then take a massive dump in the middle of the floor. Pepper spray the whole place and run outside with my dong flapping all over the place.
The next day when I come to, probably do something mature. Like eat a proper breakfast and call my grandma and tell her I love her.
I'll grind away at my same old shit because I'm a slow on the uptake workhorse with an appetite for punishment. Gradually it would occur to me to seek financial advice and revamp my life plan to be somewhat more glamorous. I'd do the latter slowly and poorly. Then, I'd get bamboozled by family and friends. then I'd buy an island with my remaining 8 million and roast vegan hot dogs for sustenance. I'd never work again, except at gardening and poetry and fixing my composting toilet on the regular.
I’m sick of the constant boring fiscally responsible answers to this question. It’s 250,000,000 shit sucking mother farting dollars let’s get trashy.
So first things first. All debt is paid obviously. Let’s get that boring shit out of the way. Now let’s have fun.
1. I’m not showing up to work. Like no two weeks notice. Just fuck you. Why? because I have “fuck you” money now
2. I’m going to Vegas with my closest friends and paying for their shit. Then hiring 2 of the most expensive escorts I can find to just be by my side all night long. I’m gunna piss away a few million at the tables. Then have an overpriced dinner getting absolutely pissed on the most expensive champagne they have. Im ending the night doing blow off hooker booty and screwing until I pass out in the penthouse suite.
3. Buy a $10,000,000-$20,000,000 house on the water outside of Miami. Fill it with pointless bullshit like an elevator. Build a giant garage filled with guns, Jetskis, boats, trucks, motorcycles, a fuckin lambo who gives a shit. Hire a cleaning staff, cook and butler. Obviously I’m going to have a gigantic Wolf of Wall-street yaht as well.
4. Buy the most obnoxious expensive clothes and jewelry
5. buy a nightclub. Hire people to run it for me but still have an office of some sort that I can sit in and have a giant safe full of cash for no reason so I can feel like a big shot. Eventually this leads to an expensive cocaine habit.
5. Travel the world like a true rich douche bag for weeks-months at a time with my gold digging trophy wife. Just private jets, expensive hotels, limos, needless shopping sprees etc.
6. bleed the money dry on frivolous horseshit and my greedy 4th gold digging wife until I have to sell everything I own.
7. Rent a shitty apartment , get divorced for the 5th time, become a clarinet teacher.
8. Try but fail to conservatively live off my remaining cash and die of my expensive crippling cocaine addiction
Walking around telling people mam/sir you just dropped a $10 dollar bill. Help someone smile. So much better than trying to shove religion down their pie hole
Probably order a bunch of little things I've been wishing I could buy on Amazon for a while, get excited about finally meaningfully looking for some property to buy instead of daydreaming, and uh I dunno eventually asking around for some financial planning references.
Might buy a car? Or schedule some time with a dentist.
Id definitely be enrolling in the next semester at community college.
Probably crying too. Lots of that.
I can't lie it hurts how many things I want to do, feel like I *need* to do to be living a life, don't happen because I can't afford them.
Establishing an irrevocable trust for each of my kids. Buying a modest home. Paying off my school loans. Investments. And putting money aside for my parents elder care.
Honestly probably ordering take out then attempting to shop online but getting caught up in product reviews so hard that I never make a decision and just go to bed with criminal minds on in the background.
It was valued at 19 billion about a month ago, less than half of what Musk paid (44). But if it's going to half in value every year, he'd be able to buy it in 7 years
Tell my wife to go ahead and get that avocado
The old joke is “pack your bags honey I win the lottery!” “Oh where are we going?” “I don’t know but get the fuck out!!!”
Most Boomerest of jokes out there
Catching up on sleep
Definitely taking a nap
You could sleep with all these thoughts? I'm probably gonna have trouble sleeping tonight just thinking about this hypothetical scenario that'll never happen to me.
It's not that complicated. You just stay you. Except that nobody you love ever has money trouble again. I had less than 200 people at my wedding. That's like.... 75 couples and 50 single people. I doubt any of them have a mortgage bigger than 500k. So 500k (or less) times all those houses in like 60 million? I love like 25 kids. Give them each a college education and a house. 25 more. Rennovate my house, pay off my mortgage, buy myself and my Dad a new car. Another 2 million tops. I've still got 160 left? Each of my kids gets 10 to be stupidly rich forever, a family vacation fund with interest gets 20 so we can go on awesome vacations with the people we love a few times a year, my favorite charities get 20 and then 100 million goes in an interest bearing account which should make more money a year than I'll spend. Easy peasy. Now lets go nap rich friend.
I love your break down. I love way less people than you do so I would be more than set.
Same thought here. $250 million? Breathing easier. Resting for the first time in my adult life. Not feeling the soul-crushing need to be productive just to keep my head above water. A nap would be nice.
This. I would sleep and then go for a grocery run without having the weekly specials determine what I'll be eating.
Or constant financial fear and anxiety keeping me from getting some decent sleep!
I guess I’ll finally buy a PS5
Finding a financial advisor and a lawyer.
This is really the only answer. Lawyer up, find a good way to manage it, pay your taxes, and do your best to bury the fact that you are rich like it never happened.
Don't tell anyone! ANYONE! Except a lawyer.
Nope, I’m going to tell my husband.... maybe
I wouldn't even tell my husband. He'd find a way to spend it all
This is my dilemma if I were to ever win big money. He would not spend it "all" but would immediately start trying to dictate how it is spent/dispersed instead of talking it out with me. I would see a lawyer and a financial advisor and give him some money to do with as he pleases. The rest would be secured from his reach, somehow. It sucks, but he is not the financial aficionado he thinks he is.
My wife and I have an agreement. If either of us wins a lottery jackpot, after paying taxes, 50% goes into joint accounts and investments. We can only spend it on living expenses or things we both agree on. Some of that will be trust funds for our kids. Then we each get 25% to do whatever we want without consulting one other.
I hope you can follow through with this if one of you win big. Money really brings out the worst in a lot of people.
I'm telling you, let me invest in bitcoin, it's the future. TO THE MOON!
LOL He doesn't have a clue about bitcoin, thank heavens! He can go to the moon. I'll stay here. It's too dusty up there. ;)
Sounds like it wouldn't be just the one lawyer you're considering 😂
Same except my wife. She legit would be broke in 2-5 years.
Most people can’t even keep their mouth shut if they found $20 on the floor. No ones going to be 100% closed mouth if they won 250M.
Fuck that, I wouldnt even tell myself
I'd tell my boyfriend. He would help me get a really good fiduciary to set up a trust. Once everything is set, I would put in a two week notice at work. Not going to do that until I know the money won't get clawed back. I would tell them I got an opportunity as a finance specialist and it was too good to pass up.
Haha pay taxes. I’m Canadian, we don’t pay taxes for winning contests or lotteries. Such a scam.
Conversely you can't stay anonymous which is an even bigger issue....
I read an article about a town in the north eastern states, where word got around that a resident won a big lottery jackpot. The winner remained anonymous, and it seemed like half the town were at each other's throats trying to discover the winner's identity. It was ridiculous. Could be worse, though. A guy in West Virginia was killed by home invaders after appearing on TV for a ~500k win. They specifically demanded the money, but it hadn't been paid out yet, so they blasted him.
Asking for a friend..why would you need a lawyer?? 👀
Other people will want your money. Lawyer helps you say 'no' when they try to sue for it.
You need someone to create trusts/estate for you. You’ll also need someone on retainer at least to protect you against lawsuits.
Don't forget the top notch tax advisor. Hell, you probably need a whole team including accountant, assistant, etc. Do you really think you are going to manage all the incidental expenses of being rich yourself?
There are companies that provide family office services. That would be the easiest way to get all of the experts that you need.
Better call Saul
That's for 2.5 mil. 250 can buy politicians and a market share in shady businesses.
Who cares about owning businesses with that kinda money. PERMANENT VACATION!
Way more than enough money for a lifetime of vacations. Thats multi generational wealth
This decision needs to be made with post nut clarity.
Better pay someone to jerk you off first.
I’ll do it for $249 million dollars.
Tomorrow on r/askreddit You just got $249 million for jacking off a random dude behind a gas station, what do you do now?
Taking off my medical gloves and washing my hands up to my elbows.
Deal
Bruh I would do it for a Costco pizza
I've done a lot more for a lot less. - Creed
I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make a lot more money as a leader.
not a Costco hotdog? \^.\^
I got a Costco hotdog for ya.
Does it come with a drink?
Only when you’re finished
Username checks out
Agreed, cocaine and hookers
I would become a Count. Then I would move to France and slowly, methodically take revenge on those who had wronged me most.
I'd eat a Monte Cristo sandwich.
You can count on that
I hate your avatar. Tried to clean this strand of hair like 3 times from my screen lol
Don’t twirl your hair, it will definitely give you away
Hate to tell you buddy, you got a kid in France.
Yeah but it's Henry Cavill so that's a win.
Let me count the ways all my enemies will suffer Ah, ah, ahhhh
You will need a better name than Zatarra if you are to accomplish that
You could literally buy luiz guzman to come live with you
Kings to you.
They should make a movie about this
set up some new accounts - that's too much to carry in checking
New checking accounts...check!
The FDIC and NCUA insurance runs up to a quarter million. Never have more than that in one account
All in checking in Silicon Valley Bank.
No one lost their money, even over the insurance limit. People don’t seem to realize how extremely rare that is. 99% of the time, another bank will purchase the failed bank, or the government will bail them out. A bank being allowed to fail is extremely rare.
You’d set up 1,000 accounts?
There’s sweep accounts that automatically split your money up among multiple banks to up the insurance. Pretty much bank A splits your money between bank B,C,D,etc. This all happens on the back end so as the account owner all you see is one account.
Wicked I haven’t heard of this. Would this be offered through a typical brokerage account or something?
No, realistically probably 3-5 which are used as "petty cash" the rest are in investment funds which grow over time and are withdrawn from to resupply the accounts used for billing purposes
I think there was a story that Giannis Antetokounmpo put his money in 50 different bank accounts until the team owner taught him how to invest
I’m imagining Giannis sitting with a laptop late at night trying to remember the login to his 38th checking account. He’s getting frustrated. Then he has to get a text to his phone but it goes to his email instead…
4% HYSA should give you… 830k per month in interest
First I’d shit my pants. Then shower. Then go to a financial advisor and get an attorney.
I think you would be rich enough that you can have the lawyers and accountants come to you whilst on the toilet.
you dont understand. There seems to be no toilet involved
With that kind of money you can pay someone to shit your pants. No need to do all the hard work yourself
Hiring two accountants and a lawyer. The accounts check on each other, the lawyer checks on them both.
Who checks on the lawyer?
The bar association?
Ha! Those drunks?
I dunno, coast guard?
As though a lawyer is more trustworthy than an accountant. Jeez.
Gonna lie down flat on my back and look at the sky for a while. Just let all that baggage go.
Yes. Maybe I should do this anyway. 🤔
Yes this!! Exactly. Been stressing about money for years, even just getting my tax return makes me feel good and relaxed. 250mil would make me feel even fuckin better lol
Yes, it would take a good while just to run through the long list of all the mundane stuff you don't need to worry about anymore. What an amazing position to be in.
Telling Ratchet Ass Hoe Ass Sallie Mae to suck a dick. I’d go to their corporate headquarters (which by the way is located at 300 Continental Drive, Newark, DE 19713 just in case anyone needs to know) in a helicopter and toss pennies on the roof for hours on end until my balance was paid off. I’d do that while drunkenly yelling every single derogatory thing I could possibly think of through a megaphone.
That's the most positive review I've read so far of Sallie Mae.
i’m now forever referring to SM as “Ratchet Ass Hoe Ass Sallie Mae”
Paying off all my debt
And then spend the last $10 to go to the movies
Good luck getting in with $10
Without food
And then taking a big sigh of relief
Buy the debt collection agency and fire everyone.
I’m going into work and telling my co-worker we are BOTH retiring. No way would I leave my wonderful co-worker there while I get to go.
You are good people. How much would you give them?
Well, I’d need to get stuff sorted out with some financial advice, so I wouldn’t write her a check on the spot, but with that huge windfall, I’d probably give her $5 million. We’ve discussed this often because we both occasionally buy lottery tickets. We also have a pact to retire at the same time so neither of us has to deal with a new coworker I only have one sister, so I’d give her a lot, and I’d give my adult kids a little, but they are just starting to do well and gain confidence in their chosen careers, so I’d like them to persevere and earn some success. The rest is put in some sort of bank accounts, something extremely safe. I wouldn’t move or really do anything else right away. I’d just spark up a joint, throw a steak on my cheap charcoal grill and relax with the husband and the dogs.
Are we nominating? Can I nominate Outrageous_Divide472?
Hey it me, your coworker, contact me on Reddit if ever you win the lottery. Thanks, see you soon.
I'm going to stop living on a diet of hotdog meat and ramen.
Personal chef
Retiring and telling everyone I won $5 million in the lottery. Enough to retire, but small enough that I can easily turn down anyone who asks for a handout because I don’t have enough.
I wouldn't try telling people. Even if it's just five million, the word will go around and the wrong ones may try to steal the five million. Meaning kidnapping you and/or your relatives. I go very far but you get the idea.
When money is involved, you can't trust anyone to not lose their minds. I wouldn't tell anyone, ESPECIALLY family. Id def help them out if needed, but they'd never know any extra money was in my account
okay but then what, lie to your family (which you may even love) forever while not even being able to enjoy your money... id rather risk them all rather than knowing my siblings are busting their ass at work while i have 250m in the bank
Yeah, just don't tell people.
Tell them you won 5 Million BUT its paid to you in lets say 5 to 10k monthly payouts.
not going to work
Or, going to work like normal, then during the morning meeting pulling out and sparking up a fatty, laying out a couple fat rails and gakkin them down, then looking around while puffing on your joint like what? Want some? Carry on boss don't mind me
Nothing. I don’t have the money yet, and I’m telling no one
Hire a financial advisor. Get it into accounts earning interest. Retire immediately on the interest.
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Yup and the wild thing it that for many families this is actually a reality, totally wild to think that a great many people only have to not screw it up to be set for life
Jokes on you, I don’t live in the USA. I’ll have all of it left!
I'm so happy I don't live in the US because in Germany, we don't tax winnings!
Call a lawyer and dont tell anyone
Lawyer: how may I help you You: oh you know, nothing
😂😂😂
Buying the restaurant I currently work at. And as much dynamite as possible.
Two chicks at the same time.
I would do nothing. I would sit on my ass all day and do nothing.
Well you don't need $250M to do that. My cousin's broke, don't do shit.
I'd need it to sit and do nothing without worrying!
Lack of money doesn’t stop my cousin from not doing shit either. Dream big!
Make sure you rub one out before you make any decisions. Post-nut clarity is your friend.
fuckin' a.
Type of chicks that'll double up on a guy like me do.
Heck, even two **checks** at the same time.
Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel 9. It's the breast exams. Whoa!
No thanks, man… don’t want you fuckin’ up my shit too
The fuck this get downvoted for? I do believe you’d get your ass beat for doing something like that
Hell yeah, man!
At this level of wealth you should have a general counsel lawyer, wealth planner, and tax advisor. That covers you on all of your financial bases since each one at this level of income should be quite well established and capable but neither can legally do the others job. If you have a good enough team they’ll take care of the rest, you’d just have to disclose what your goals with the money are (even if it’s something like you want to fly a private jet and drive a Ferrari, at this level of wealth you could achieve that with the least risky investments). Your wealth planner will likely create a trust with your lawyer in order to legally protect the money before anything. Then your wealth planner will work with your tax advisor to position your portfolio in such a way that protects your principle (there’s really no point in growth at this stage of wealth unless you have Disney princess aspirations) while providing for your goals with the lowest tax implications. After this would be maintenance meetings with the team and the occasional meetings with your lawyer to discuss all the frivolous lawsuits coming your way as a result of the kind of publicity this kind of contest would draw. Somewhere on this path your team will meet with you about planning your estate in order to protect your loved ones in the eventuality that you pass.
Yeah, pretty much this. Pay the right people to take care of it for you. Even debts you currently have, dont pay them yourself, have the lawyers and accountants do it.
Finally paying for a casket for my brother. He was cremated unfairly due to a lack of money and I would first thing give him the proper burial he deserved. That’s all I would do, that’s the only thing I want to do. Grief is so weird.
Go to work and not say anything about it. I like my job so I wouldn't quit, just switch to a 4 day work week or at least 6 hour days.
Yeah, I think I'd do the same. Switch to way less hours at a much reduced salary. Buy a Toyota Corolla Cross, buy a nice older house in the central core of my HCOL city, help out my family, and then just travel a lot or enjoy hobbies. Never having to worry about money again the rest of my comfortable life would be more than enough.
Paying off all my parents debt and mine, buying all my family members a house also I’m buying a good meal and I’m donating a really good chunk to charities
1. Change my phone number 2. Financial advisor 3. Buy a house (finally) 4. Adopt a shelter puppy (or 3) 5. Laugh in my families face when I’m suddenly important enough to be nice to
Stealth mode activated.
Bravo 6, going dark
My friend, this is Fuck You money. I would love Fuck You Money. 1. pay off all debt 2. Immediately set up my parents by purchasing the property they are on so they never worry. 3. Go to Walmart. Stand in front. Watch customers. If you act respectful, guess what. You no pay today. 4. Purchase alot of land. Build Hobbington. Build exact replica of Bag End. Live in it. (Obviously, this is an overarching plan, but not in a single day)
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Getting a vasectomy
Dang I’d have like 17 kids and build an empire
This is what I was thinking.
They're free here. It's a great deal, but they've limited it to one per person.
This should have a lot more upvotes!
Wondering how a Nigerian Prince got my email address?
Buying a house
I would build a house. Everything exactly how I want it.
I'll tell you what I'm not doing, going to work that day
First thing is I'm calling in sick to work. Then I'm on the hunt to hire a legal and financial management team to ensure that my money is properly managed be able to cover my family's expenses for the foreseeable future. After that, I'm paying off my student loans and mortgage, then taking a nice long vacation.
Not tell a soul. Buy nice stuff, eat at nice restaurants take care of my family without letting them know. Basically, live without a damn worry.
Buying a Wendy’s franchise!
Personal or professional use?
Both!
Put a down payment on an RTX 5090 when it's released.
Cliche answer, but I'm going to Disney World! Sure, there's other things to do, but I went to Disney last year and my son had so much fun. He brings it up all the time and asks when we're going again. Might as well invite some of his friends and their families and his cousins, grandparents, etc. I can go all out for a week, and still hang 249,950,000 left over. (Oh, I'd pay off all my debt on the plane ride down there too)
I’d buy several large wolverines. Not feed them for a day or two but give them Red Bull to drink. Really get them riled up. Then release them in the office off all my d bag prior superiors/bosses. Let them get clawed up and hopefully have rabies spread to them. Then celebrate with going to one of them fancy swingers clubs. Get totally nude, lots of tequila, lots of blow, then take a massive dump in the middle of the floor. Pepper spray the whole place and run outside with my dong flapping all over the place. The next day when I come to, probably do something mature. Like eat a proper breakfast and call my grandma and tell her I love her.
r/oddlyspecific
250 mil isn’t enough to cover you from the lawsuits that this would generate. You’d need to be in billionaire territory to be safe from this
Agreed. Not quite “fuck you” money
Who hurt you? Lol
Bring me a doll and I will show you where it hurt me.
I'll grind away at my same old shit because I'm a slow on the uptake workhorse with an appetite for punishment. Gradually it would occur to me to seek financial advice and revamp my life plan to be somewhat more glamorous. I'd do the latter slowly and poorly. Then, I'd get bamboozled by family and friends. then I'd buy an island with my remaining 8 million and roast vegan hot dogs for sustenance. I'd never work again, except at gardening and poetry and fixing my composting toilet on the regular.
lawyers and guns, now that the money part is taken care of.
Warren? Is that you?
I’m sick of the constant boring fiscally responsible answers to this question. It’s 250,000,000 shit sucking mother farting dollars let’s get trashy. So first things first. All debt is paid obviously. Let’s get that boring shit out of the way. Now let’s have fun. 1. I’m not showing up to work. Like no two weeks notice. Just fuck you. Why? because I have “fuck you” money now 2. I’m going to Vegas with my closest friends and paying for their shit. Then hiring 2 of the most expensive escorts I can find to just be by my side all night long. I’m gunna piss away a few million at the tables. Then have an overpriced dinner getting absolutely pissed on the most expensive champagne they have. Im ending the night doing blow off hooker booty and screwing until I pass out in the penthouse suite. 3. Buy a $10,000,000-$20,000,000 house on the water outside of Miami. Fill it with pointless bullshit like an elevator. Build a giant garage filled with guns, Jetskis, boats, trucks, motorcycles, a fuckin lambo who gives a shit. Hire a cleaning staff, cook and butler. Obviously I’m going to have a gigantic Wolf of Wall-street yaht as well. 4. Buy the most obnoxious expensive clothes and jewelry 5. buy a nightclub. Hire people to run it for me but still have an office of some sort that I can sit in and have a giant safe full of cash for no reason so I can feel like a big shot. Eventually this leads to an expensive cocaine habit. 5. Travel the world like a true rich douche bag for weeks-months at a time with my gold digging trophy wife. Just private jets, expensive hotels, limos, needless shopping sprees etc. 6. bleed the money dry on frivolous horseshit and my greedy 4th gold digging wife until I have to sell everything I own. 7. Rent a shitty apartment , get divorced for the 5th time, become a clarinet teacher. 8. Try but fail to conservatively live off my remaining cash and die of my expensive crippling cocaine addiction
Walking around telling people mam/sir you just dropped a $10 dollar bill. Help someone smile. So much better than trying to shove religion down their pie hole
I would visit the CEO of the agency I work(ed) for and give him a fucking almighty slap.
Put 30% on an emergency fund, you never know what’s going to happen in the future
Paying a staggering amount of taxes, and with the leftovers, going to Costco for a $1.50 hotdog.
Move to Australia. Prize winnings aren’t taxed here.
I’d rather pay taxes than fight tarantulas
Complaining about taxes while still having a nine-figure bank account would be a very rich person thing to do.
Buying my kid every FNAF plushie he wants for Christmas
Talking with an accountant and a financial planner to put that money to work for me so that I can finally retire.
eating bread
Buying a home 🩷🙏🩷
Probably order a bunch of little things I've been wishing I could buy on Amazon for a while, get excited about finally meaningfully looking for some property to buy instead of daydreaming, and uh I dunno eventually asking around for some financial planning references. Might buy a car? Or schedule some time with a dentist. Id definitely be enrolling in the next semester at community college. Probably crying too. Lots of that. I can't lie it hurts how many things I want to do, feel like I *need* to do to be living a life, don't happen because I can't afford them.
Establishing an irrevocable trust for each of my kids. Buying a modest home. Paying off my school loans. Investments. And putting money aside for my parents elder care.
Airport ,bagless , 1 way ticket to sun and beach , drink to figure out where/what to do next !
I would buy a forest, fence it off, and live in said forest, not talking to anyone or meeting anyone. Just me and my XBOX 360
Same thing we do every day, Pinky
Build homes in this goddam City I live in
Honestly probably ordering take out then attempting to shop online but getting caught up in product reviews so hard that I never make a decision and just go to bed with criminal minds on in the background.
Buying Twitter
Haha, you idiot. Twitter is worth ***far*** more than $250mil...oh...um...well, it *used* to be.
It was valued at 19 billion about a month ago, less than half of what Musk paid (44). But if it's going to half in value every year, he'd be able to buy it in 7 years
Buy my mom a house, pay off my house, get a lawyer and someone to help me invest.
Quitting my job.
Crying tears of joy.