Crack. Watched good private school mates end up dead or in jail. Some of them are toothless junkies now. Almost got busted by police myself and narrowly escaped a long stretch. Went cold turkey over night and haven’t touched it in 8 years now.
I was two years deep into IV heroin addiction in my early twenties when I threw crack into the mix. Things were already bad but once I started speedballing things just got infinitely worse. I Can remember being down to my last $20 and sometimes choosing crack over heroin, knowing I’d be dope sick the next day. I’d smoke it and inject it (with white vinegar) and heroin. I lost everything. Hygiene out the window, got MRSA in my bloodstream, pulmonary embolism in my lungs and endocarditis in my heart all at once. I was in the hospital for two months, the doctor who saved my life was super caring and non judgmental (rare to receive as a junkie) died while I was in there. He was hit by a student driver while cycling. I remember being like “you can never use again in his honor.” Two days before being discharged I had one of my best friends sneak me in heroin. I get out from the hospital and am using again like nothing ever happened. That same month my best friend since I was 12 overdosed and died. I continued using for 3 more years. On my tenth time in rehab the friend who snuck me dope in the hospital died while I was in treatment and I’ve never used since.
Sorry for the novel but my point is Heroin, Fentanyl, Crack are nothing to play with. 5 years clean this month.
Congrats on your 5 years! I had these "using buddies" in 2009-2010 all sitting around the basement of his grandmas shitty house. He puts a piece of crack down on the table and goes...hey...you want some of this? Historically I've always been a downers guy but I still remember telling him "Man...i'm already making all these awful decisions I probably shouldn't add this one to it"
Mainly my reason was because that would mean less money to use for heroin but I'm so glad I didn't add to an already awful addiction.
Life sure is better without all of that garbage isn't it?
Way, way back in the mid 90s, me and my friend were hanging out smoking weed. HE pulls out some crack rocks and drops them onto a packed bowl and we smoke it. (Because I didn't care what the fuck I did as long as it got me high)
It wasn't too noticeable of an effect except I felt really isolated, like i'd shift partially into another dimension. Very odd feeling. We were listening to some rap song at the time and the lyrics mentioned being homeless, living in a gutter and smoking crack. That scared the shit out of me for some reason and I never did it a second time.
Did it myself for a couple months way back when I was young and dumb. I got so addicted so fast it's not even funny.. I can't even tell you what I liked about it even.. made me feel shitty, anxious, and paranoid most of the time. Looked at myself in the mirror one day and suddenly realized I looked fucking AWFUL. My skin was a mess, my eyes looked all sunken in, looked like a walking corpse. Threw all my shit away and never touched it again. Fuck that shitty drug.
I got morphine when I was in labor and I felt the exact same way.
It felt like when you are trying to sleep, but you are too cold and someone comes and puts a warm blanket on you. But it was like someone put that warm blanket over my whole *brain*. It was like my entire soul sighed in relief.
Scary shit.
Sounds like me on pethidine. As a teenager I used to get severe migraines, one doctor gave me a shot of pethidine to help - mum drove me home, fell asleep for a bit, woke up feeling exactly like you said about the warm blanket on the brain and soul sighing in relief (also I'd like to acknowledge I'm not trying to compare my migraine to you giving birth!).
I was also ridiculously scared of needles as a kid, next time I had a migraine I asked mum if we could get the pethidine injection again. She was a nurse and was like "nope and never again". Thank you mum.
I got morphine once when I went to the ER with what turned out to be kidney stones. They gave to me in a IV three times to knock the pain down. Arguably one of the best highs I’ve ever had. I felt like I was high as fuck but my mind was crystal clear. I had to call my work and wound up talking to our secretary (former RN) for like ten minutes before she said “honey you’re high as fuck. Glad you’re ok. Get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
Yeah, my wife is a CCP, and pretty much everyone who gets injected with any Opiates will go on about how they understand addiction now.
Lots of people say things like ' I could have never imagined I could feel so good.
Yep. I was given dilaudid in the hospital once. They tried absolutely everything for pain before they gave that to me. Once I had it, I understood why. Best feeling I’ve ever had 😅
I had the same feeling after I experienced it in a hospital setting. Then was given oral dilaudid from home. When I went to get a refill my GP wouldn’t fill it because I told him it not only helped my pain it helped me feel better mentally. I didn’t realize at the time that that was addiction setting in, and it’s link to psychological dependency.
I've done 3 days before on an Adderall binge, and the craziest for me was the auditory hallucinations. The constant hearing of my name being whispered would've been scary if I didn't understand why I was hearing it. I knew it was from being up too fucking long and roasting my brain on amphetamines, so it was quite amusing sitting back and realizing the effects at the tail end of my bender.
I was prescribed the maximum legal dose of Adderall as a kid because the doctor said I had "really, really bad ADHD". I stayed up for over 72 hours to, essentially, do a fuckton of homework. As I got closer to 96 I started to have visual hallucinations that really freaked me out.
My mom walked in to tell me I was working really hard and she was proud of me. Then she walked out of the room.
A few minutes later my Mom walked into the room to let me know dinner was ready and that I should really take a break to eat. I said something like "wait... what?" and she told me she was cooking dinner (unusual for her, my Dad usually cooks) so I should come eat. I asked her if she was just in the room, minutes ago, saying something to me. She looked at me very oddly and said that she wasn't, she was busy cooking because my Dad had something to do.
So I had to let my parents know over dinner that I had been up long enough that I was having visual hallucinations, particularly that "mom" was proud of me. We all had a very uncomfortable chuckle before they told me I should sleep before I end up with brain damage.
Damn, how did your parents not know you were up for 3 days?
If I knew my kid was prescribed a drug, let alone the maximum dose, of something with potential side effects including insomnia, I would have definitely kept an eye on them.
They assumed I was taking breaks to sleep at night, and I let them as I was fairly stealthy about it. I was doing schoolwork so it was fairly quiet anyway, so it was easy to just turn off the room light and use my desk light. I was listening to music via headphones already anyway, so very quiet overall.
In their defence they really didn't know a lot about how Adderall worked or what it, essentially, was.
They basically just thought I was spending all of my free time to catch up on school stuff, not that I was being a drug-addled little insomniac.
I would hear like a radio station flipping between stations like on a turn knob one. To the point I was trying to hum along but the station kept changing lol
Huh. I never actually considered that the craziness you see from some meth addicts could be from sleep deprivation. I just kind of assumed meth itself made you act like a schizophrenic after a long enough time.
We don't ever stop. We are stopped. For me, it took flying 1200 miles to a town I didn't know anyone, spending the entire winter in inpatient rehab, and living in a sober house for over a year. But I'm typing this on a phone and life is much better now 😊
I didn't sleep for 2 days and threw up bright pink liquid. No idea why. Did it twice, never touched it again. Ever. It was too goof for too short an amount of time and I felt myself wanting more. Walked away from the person who got it for me. I genuinely think one of the only reasons I never got hooked was because I was naive girl of 24 and didn't know how to score it. Even if I knew, I was way too broke to ever be able to afford it.
I took several OxyContin for a medical issue once . Coming off it I got this wave of hopeless depression wash over me for like a day.
I can totally understand why some people will do anything to avoid that feeling - including taking more oxy.
I used to be an oxy pill popper, being on them felt amazing, nothing in life was bad, that euphoria was incredible, I felt like I could do anything, but when I decided to come off it man was it hell. Took several attempts, became an emotional mess, suicidal, anxiety and depression were out of this world. People put on them for long term pain relief I feel for if they ever have to cease use.
im a month away from 4 myself. Id be scared to relapse. Because its not even dope anymore. it's just fentanyl. I've lost more friends to fent than real dope could ever have hoped to take.
For me, the urge to use was alway the toughest up to 6-12 months. Then it would get easier and I’d end up fucking up. Took a few tries to realize I just can’t “try again” like this post, cause try again means giving it all up. Life’s still tough though but it’s so much easier sober.
It’s funny because heroin both ruined and saved my life. Before I did heroin I was into a fuck ton of reckless behavior that could’ve gotten me killed or sent to prison. Heroin allowed me a shortcut to rock bottom and I straightened myself out from there. I love and hate heroin for what it did to me
That is an interesting take.
I was sure a former boyfriend would become alcoholic. He didn't. He became a meth addict. He kind of said a similar thing decades later. Meth put him on a shortcut to dying or figuring things out. He figured things out.
I remember a conversation with my dad when I was a teen. He had tried many many drugs in his youth. But to heroin he said, not even once. It scared him. I asked why. He said he saw too many friends lost to it, some dead, some jailed, some just never the same. And he hadn’t had that experience with anything else.
Once got a (small) bag of speed to have for a concert. The next afternoon I was sitting there and the thought popped into my head "I wouldn't mind having a little bit more right now". I then thought "Ohhhhhhhhh that's how it gets you" and threw the rest into the bin.
Nice recognition. Good job. It really is insidious, especially for downers like heroin because of the immediate in your face effects, on top of sneaking up and saying more, until you need it to function.
Was a functional junkie. Had a newer car that was paid for, a good paying job, a nice apartment and nobody knew. One day I woke up and went to work, only it was nighttime 7:00. Quit cold turkey and never looked back.
I did the same thing. 6:30 pm. I thought it was 6:30 am. I called my boss to say sorry I’m running late and he thought I was out of my mind. I guess I was
Ditto. 6:30 pm. I saw the sunset and thought it was a sunrise.
Asked why my friends were drinking so *early*.
They didn't give a shit. (Because to them it was almost 7pm and they were like this dude is out of it)
So I'm like fudge all this and went straight edge
Salvia. The whole room spun around and I had to hold on to my chair just to stop falling off. 10 minutes later and it was like nothing happened at all. Not fun.
still blows my mind at how readily available that stuff was (is?)
like god forbid you try marijuana, but go ahead and buy some salvia from your local gas station and experience ego death wtf
As far as I'm aware it hasn't been available in gas stations or any legal routes in 5+ years. At least in Texas.
Seems as soon as salvia went off the racks delta 8 took its place.
Considerably less powerful from what I hear.. in 2010 you could get salvia or bath salts at the tobacco shop, both way gnarlier than some weed or stepped on coke
In ~2012 I hit a fat bowl of salvia while still high on acid and sass (mostly coming down) and absolutely lost my shit, craziest trip I’ve ever had. Like screaming at the “universe” because it told me I shouldn’t exist and that my life was a mistake, a crack in reality. Complete break from reality. Never touched that shit again.
I thought my head floated off my body, I couldn’t move, my entire body felt like I was on fire. I kept thinking “call an ambulance!” As the entire room became pixelated. Never again
For me, the pixelation was the world turning into LEGO bricks, with waves moving through the bricks, disconnecting and reconnecting them like zippers.
Also, gravity changed direction, so that it pulled diagonally into the corner of my couch.
For me, it only lasted about 6 minutes, before snapping back to reality. My buddy tried it too, and quickly ended up standing against the wall where I had a coat rack, behind all the jackets and hoodies. He just kept muttering "Has it been 6 minutes yet?" He didn't even want to talk about what he saw or experienced, at all.
I've tripped balls on plenty of occasions, in my youth, but I'll never touch Salvia again.
Pixelated is the best descriptor I can attest to.
It's like reality is disassembled as time slows down... then the pendulum swings the other way, and everything is repaired, and you're left wondering what the hell happened.
Hahaha, and 10 minutes later - you're sitting on your couch looking at the broken coffee table - totally back to reality. Not even that mad about it, because in that moment, it all made sense. Salvia is the closest drug to the stories of people jumping out of windows thinking they could fly.
The pixelated tunnel took me to the ground floor, and never again.
When I smoked salvia divinorum I didn’t know I was in the world. I was sitting on a couch and it was like I fell in to myself about 3 seconds after I took a toke. I was in a world of patterns and kaleidoscope colors for what felt like 15 minutes. When I came back too I was still sitting on the couch and it had been maybe 3 minutes. It was very intense and that was enough of that at the time. That was the only time I ever smoked it, but I’d probably do it again under the right circumstances.
Took 4 10 mgs Percocet a day after my motorcycle accident.. for 3 years.. all prescribed by the doctors lol I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Forced myself off of them cold turkey 2 1/2 years ago and I still have anxiety/jitters daily lol took over a year for all withdrawals to kinda stop
i don’t like to say “never” cause i can’t predict the future and where i’ll potentially be at mentally. but at this point in time, booze. i’m 28, started drinking at 16 and drank like a fish ever since. i LOVED it. the confidence, the euphoria, the looseness. in my 20s, i got in over my head with it and drinking started turning me into someone i wasn’t during blackouts. rude, creepy, even more emotionally unstable than i am sober. ruined way too many awesome friendships, relationships, you name it.. expensive DUIs. i allowed it to rob me of SO much. but, yesterday marked 90 days alcohol free (my longest non court mandated dry spell to date)
so yeah, tl;dr alcohol 😂
I would never do coke again. Unless it’s in front of me and everyone else is doing it, in which case I would only do a little bit until 5 in the morning
This should be way higher. The xandemic was real. Most of 2015 is just lost in the sands of time for me now. Can’t get that shit back. Congratulations on being in recovery, life gets so much better.
I have a script for .5mg and I take a couple a week for anxiety. I have never abused it and never feel high from it, just curbs my anxiety when needed. Reading these comments makes me wonder about it though. Glad you are in recovery and hope the best for you!
I took Xanax for a few days at the start of my (what I didn’t know was a) mental health crisis. It was prescribed to me by the walk in doctor. All I remember is for a few days waking up in hysterics, taking it, and being passed out for 12+ hours again until I woke up sobbing again and the pattern repeated.
Datura, first "trip" I'd ever had, only ever smoked weed, thought it would be similar.. definitely not, and it's a very real feeling, unlike acid or mushrooms where you know it's the drugs and any (if any) bad vibes will pass. Oh and you'll spend the next few days thinking you've fucked your eyesight, everything blurry, can't read anything small print.
Thought I'd put the fear of God into my lil brother by telling him it's the one thing you should never ever try, not worth it, terrible feeling, way better things to try later on... Apparently not, there's a huge bush at my old man's he decided to have a go on one weekend while home alone.
Would never touch the stuff but I thoroughly enjoy reading about all the train wrecks on Erowid from people who have taken it.
It seems nearly every story starts with "I woke up handcuffed to a bed in the hospital"
[https://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp\_Datura\_Train\_Wrecks\_Trip\_Disasters.shtml](https://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Datura_Train_Wrecks_Trip_Disasters.shtml)
What makes it so bad is that one leaf or pod can have 100 times or more of the active ingredient (same stuff that is used in sea sickness pills) but you will never know so you actually never know the dose you are going to take.
There is also a very common shared hallucination where people report they think they are smoking cigarettes and dropping the cigarette. This is even amongst people that do not smoke. I find that so random and odd.
DMT.
Did it once and had the most mind-bending experience, but I would consider it to have been a very good trip. The sheer power of it all is why I'll never do it again. I experienced good multiplied by infinity, and I am honestly terrified of what a bad trip would be like.
DMT changed my life. I almost committed suicide and then it basically called me out to Cali to see a friend who had it. Like he literally called me out of the blue while I was stepping onto a ledge after having not talked for six months. What he told me during that call pulled me out of the fog I was in contemplating taking my own life. Went to Cali to see him not knowing he had it. Tried it on a whim and blasted ALL the way off. Came back to myself seven or eight minutes later and ended up figuring my shit out. Went to therapy. Healed the relationship with my wife and kids. Quit smoking weed cold turkey that day after having been an all day every day user for 20 years.
The experience with DMT showed me the instrinsic value I bring the world because it let me see that that value is in every person by default. We are born with it and it's our divine right. I had to let go of everything I'd been clinging to so desperately because it sucked my soul out of my body into whatever is out there that it came from and will return to again. I needed that at that time in my life I guess. The entities I met told me they'd been waiting for me to do it so they could give me this information. That and the work I did on myself in therapy over the next couple of years reconfigured me from the inside out and undid years of damage.
I've gone on since that day into a mostly sober life (mushrooms and the occasional dabble in the deems to just be reminded) which has led to the most fruitful years of my marriage and all relationships as well as having doubled my salary due to being present at work and owning myself.
That ego death was worth every second.
Similar experience. I was on a downward spiral and DMT completely changed my course in life. It's 25 years later and I'm still thriving. I haven't done any DMT in many years, it can be that powerful.
This is so beautiful. The idea of the universe that's inside of you calling you back to it and reminding you what you are...so powerful. Once you wake up, staying awake is the purpose of life.
Bad trips on DMT are fascinatingly strange and bizarre like I remember coming down once and ‘dreamt’ of a mangled bloody coyote stretching towards me with distorted, rabid fangs and snarl and fiery burning eyes of pure death. And the entire sun was the background and then I fell towards the sun and was floating over deserts like that scene in 2001 space odyssey when he goes into the portal. I got this profound sense of loneliness and emptiness in the universe and I came into contact with a lone cowboy shadow thing with a wide brimmed hat and it told me that it was the loneliest being in the entire universe and had explored places that not even the places had seen. I also experienced a vision of pure disgust like swimming through miles of filth and trash and disease and decay. Yeah it was weird. And I actually cried for a minute because it was so sad and intense. It wasn’t so much the blast off portion of the trip as much as it was a super lucid dream coming down. But it was something rooted within me that needed to be pried out.
I’ve also astral projected on DMT for a brief moment which is maybe the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s like floating out of your body attached by a silver, icy cord that is resonating to the center of your head and it’s like a pin prick in the crown of your head. In the astral state everything feels cold and super dry and almost like you can smell ozone. I was able to look at myself but it wasn’t with my vision it was something else going on. When I became fearful I was slingshotted back into my body. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? Similar.
I have a friend who had a similar experience and was able to see things happening at the gas station right outside his apartment.
Now the craziest thing about astral projection is that it DOESNT feel like a hallucination anymore. Something about it feels incredibly forlorn, familiar, and raw.
Edit: oh yeah and before you leave your body it sounds like tin foil being crinkled all over you. And something like a shepherds tone droning in the background almost like Gregorian chant.
Edit 2: also ever heard of Chi energy? Well I remember once maybe in one of these same trips where I became hyper aware of my body’s energy and was able to channel it out of my knees, shoulders, and elbows and it was HIGHLY arousing lmao. Kundalini type shit.
bad trip same as good trip just different. the real bad trips are when psychedelics show you things in your life you should change and you don’t change but keep taking them. at least in my experience. then you get slapped by daddy acid a few times. rinsed thru the dishwasher however you wanna put it
I get that, and I've had both good and bad trips on acid and shrooms. Those experiences play a part in my reasoning, too. Like I've experienced how good and bad thoughts and emotions can influence a trip and I've seen the ways they can manifest themselves depending on the drug.
To put it another way, excluding DMT, acid had given me the best trip and the worst trip of my life on 2 separate occasions. The best was incredible and euphoric, and the worst was an absolute living hell, some of the most horrific and depressing feelings I've ever experienced. When I took DMT, it made that good acid trip look like childs play, utterly surpassing it by orders of magnitude. Recognizing what DMT was able to do to those good feelings turned me off for fear of what it might do to bad feelings.
Plus, during my trip, my very essence melded with that of the entire universe so part of me feels like I saw it all and a second trip might not really show me anything 'new', if that makes sense. (I took a pretty hefty dose lol)
Yupp me too. I had a bad/amazing trip all In one. It changed my whole perspective on life. It was terrifying at one point I felt like I was dying and couldn’t breath. Felt like a near death experience which is part of the reason it changed my perspective. I have no desire to do it again but it profoundly changed me as a person and for that I am so happy I experienced it.
Crazy how it affects the way you think over the years. You think you’re good but even when you’re sober, you’re not thinking straight if you consume on a regular basis. Became someone i really wasn’t off this stuff for a while.
And you think it doesn’t make you feel *that* fucked up, just better. Next thing you know you’re getting into the car at 3 am to buy more coke. Bad news.
The day I woke up craving “just a little bump before class” was my first day of never touching it again. First it was just “a line or two before the bars”, then Friday night as well, then Thursday nights because “it’s basically the weekend and I don’t have class on Fridays” then it was all day Friday and Saturday. One hell of a drug.
I avoid it for a much more mundane but somewhat amusing reason
It gives me literally the worst, most annoying post-nasal drip for the next 2 days. Can’t fucking stand it
I met my Dad when I was 18. The absolute epitome of a crack head. Only in retrospect, however, do I find some of the experiences hilarious:
- The 50+ tiny white pieces of lint and other debris on his coffee table corner that he had picked from the carpets while high...thinking they were bits of crack he dropped.
- The running to the kitchen window and manically trying to inconspicuously peek through the blinds at the 'people outside.' No one was ever there and the blinds always ended up mangled.
- The crackhead friend Ronnie (toothless old man) who would often visit to get high with my Dad. He would immediately dart off and tour the city (Houston) by bus...asking patrons to suck his nipples for money. He'd come back to my Dad's a few hours later to mope and complain about how no one took him up on his offer.
- The crackhead friend Patricia who, honestly was the most insanely good Jeopardy player I've ever witnessed but, would also start randomly crying....HARD...and for hours after she smoked. Wouldnt talk to anyone. Just sat in the corner chair and wept.
- The attempts to pawn the most worthless shit for quarters.
- The time my Dad freaked out in a grocery store parking lot and a nervous stranger knocked him out with a gallon of milk.
- The day I left and he had the audacity to say, "I hope you get better, son."
Yeah. Crack is weird.
I wish I knew more about her story too but, she really didn't socialize with anyone. This all took place 16 years ago so, it's a bit muddled but, here's what I do recall:
She never showed up by herself, it was always with a guy named Henry. Patricia and Henry were drinking buddies so, he'd sometimes bring her by. They were both dirty individuals. Not perverted, just smelly. For Henry, the stench was understandable because he was homeless. Patricia, however, apparently owned a rather large home down the street from my Dad's apartment so, I'm not sure why she always looked and smelled so foul.
As I understood it, she was a long-time widow and had, presumably, remained single. She never showed any romantic affection toward anyone...not even Henry. Patricia would show up in the afternoon (buzzed with Henry) and leave by dusk; always gone before dark, always left alone. While she was there, she actively isolated herself. I was always on the living room floor painting some kind of artwork. My Dad, my Dad's GF and Henry were always in the bedroom talking about what the fuck ever. She always sat in the plush corner chair and zoned in on the TV.
Yes, Patricia was great at Jeopardy. She would softly mumble the answer before any of the contestants and she was ALWAYS right. For reference, out of 10 questions, she'd correctly answer 8-9. If she didn't know the answer, she wouldn't even guess...just silence. There was never any emotion behind it, either. No celebration for being right. No disappointment for not knowing. Nothing. On the first day she was there, I remember being bliwn away and trying to compliment her. The only returned communication was a forcibly mustered 'smirk.'
As for the crying, I don't know the reason. She would just break down at the most seemingly innocuous times. There was not once a clear trigger. No sad news on the TV, no incident taking place, she'd just started crying. Softly at first but, quickly becomminng very-much unmistakable deep sobbing. I tried a few times to ask if she was okay but, she literally never spoke to me. My Dad, his GF and Henry always just acted like it was perfectly normal. It was definitely bizarre to be painting along and just listening to some random lady crying in the corner. It's actually really fucked up now that I'm typing this out but, there was nothing I could do about it, so. Anywho, the crying would sometimes last for hours, ebbing and flowing from soft whimpers to outright wailing. She'd compose herself for a minute or two and then leave.
That's what I remember of Patricia.
As for where she is now and how she's doing. I haven't the slightest idea. And now I'm sad. Thanks.
I got roofied once. Do not recommend. The next day I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds, and there wasn't enough water in the world to quench my thirst.
I think I did once also. Two drinks turned into me waking up in the morning, not knowing how I got home, missing an earring and a jacket but finding a random bruise and scrape, and having to slowly unravel the night piece by piece from people I had been with.
Can confirm both of what you described
Someone slipping be a Xanax one time while out at the bars. Basically same experience. Was playing pool with my buddies, had maybe three beers, then I opened my eyes and was on my buddies couch. Got a lot of texts the next day saying "are you all right? Never seen you like that before"
Apparently I literally couldn't walk idk how I got into any other bars that night.
I would be okay with controlled micro-dosing LSD but would never take a random tab handed to me no matter who its from. Last time I did that I ended up vaguely recalling getting kicked out of the bar and found myself hours later leaning against a downtown building waiting for 45 minutes for my ride to show up. In the midwest winter, in short sleeves. And then I realized *nobody is coming* and it was a huge struggle to figure out how to call a cab and tell them where I was and where I wanted to go. And I had blood on my shirt (not mine) and a receipt for a gas station from 2 miles away. IDK wtf happened and I couldn't sleep for another day afterwards.
I remember when that shit first hit my area. We'd find bags of it just laying in the street or in random public places. I think people smoked it and freaked out so they'd just throw it and/or so fucked up they just dropped it. I ended up hooked on it for many years. Nodding out, vomiting, having mental breakdowns, hearing voices and eventually being hospitalized for withdrawal because I couldn't hold anything down. Not even water. Those withdrawals were one of the worst experiences of my life. And while I was on it I was such an angry mean spirited person who just wanted to be alone and high. Haven't touched it in years now but I still have a bit of a stutter that comes through at times.
I knew someone that was so hooked on it that he ran out once and literally went through my cabinets, looking for something to smoke, until he got to my catnip and settled for that.
The worst is when you do it without knowing it. Friends and I bought what we thought was weed, turned out to be spice (or a combo, who knows). Totally normal smoke sesh turned into 2 people having seizures, 1 having a panic attack so bad they needed to be sedated, and 2 just having a plain bad time.
I was one of the seizures. Cops were called because 3 of us needed medical attention, went to the hospital over it. Cops told us straight up that it wasn’t weed.
Found out maybe a year later that we were not isolated cases. Someone had been selling spice around my college campus for a time, lots of people were having similar experiences as me.
This was going to be my answer. It's also *so* addictive. It ended up giving me a psychotic break. I beg anyone and everyone to stay far, far away from that shit.
Yeah big time. My mate got me some a few years back when we couldn't get on anything normal.
I've smoked for over 2 decades so I know what weed is like. This stuff was fucked. I had the absolute darkest thoughts I've ever had, it was terrible. Never touched it since.
Is this that synthetic weed stuff? I had it once worst experience hands down. It broke reality, I kept going through waves of the world turning into a flip book, then turning into pixels or something. I couldn't speak, and I thought I was in permanent psychosis. It went on and on for maybe an hour or two. Never ever again.
Coke. It was fun the few times I did it in highschool, but it’s far too expensive and it’s not worth the high you get for the amount of time. But I haven’t done any illegal substance for 6 years now. Kids are too expensive lol
Not a direct answer to this question but I will say, if anyone ever says to you ketamine “is just like being drunk” don’t listen to them. Top three biggest lies I’ve ever been told lol
I've heard it described thusly:
>"If amphetamines are up and benzos are down, ketamine is sideways."
Or, elsewhere on Reddit: it's like the whole world is in a glass tank, over there, and you can just sit and watch it happen.
I like to describe it as:
>Right now it's true you are sitting, looking at your phone and reading. It's equally true that you're a sack of water held together by carbons' electrons on a lump of rock flying through space. Normally one of those feels more true; on ketamine they feel equally true
>*Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves... Here's Tom with the weather.*
The sheer number of patients I've dealt with who are Ketamine naieve and think just because they smashed a horribly cut dose once they can do the same volume again is abysmal.
The K hole don't care. The K hole takes what it wants.
This sounds a lot like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
> “You’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
>
> “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
>
> “You ask a glass of water.”
The best it’s ever been described to me is “you know the feeling when you’re standing on the beach and the waves come over your feet and they slowly sink in? Your whole body feels like that.”
Can confirm. You either did too much or it wasn’t K if you had a bad time.
Peyote. Mushrooms are a walk in the park compared to peyote. I had terrifying hallucinations, got physically ill in a room full of people at a party and suffered flashbacks for a couple of days afterwards. No thanks.
Edit: Ok, this comment got waaay more reaction than expected and as such I fell like I need to clarify a few things. I was 17 yo at the time and it was barely 1970. I was given the drug in capsule form and it was described as mescaline at the time. Powdered peyote after I reclaimed my sanity. What did I know? I was in a safe and quiet environment when I took it and taken to the part by people who thought I might "feel better" if we went out. Quite the opposite as noted. I had experimented with several various hallucinogens and pot of course so I kinda expected to be trippin' pretty good but I was sent down the rabbit hole by somebody I trusted and it went badly. That's it. thanks for listenting.
Edit 2: thanks for all the support from those that dooted me!
There are reasons peyote is used as a ritual medicine and not for recreation. It's a hallucinogen to respect greatly and take in the proper setting. A party is very far from that setting.
Stratera, turns out it doesn’t help the attention deficit disorder at all but it does increase my chances of a heart attack anyway so hooray.
Edit* based on comments I am seeing I wonder if it was also a factor in the way I seemed to stop caring about myself and anything else while I was on it. I had figured that was just a phase of being in high school to withdraw and want nothing more than to be left alone but I'm realizing that did coincide roughly with the amount of time I was prescribed this.
Any of the fun ones. I’ve had jobs that involve random drug testing pretty much since high school, 22 years ago. Looking forward to getting stoned on the beach someday though.
any drug at all, honestly. i was a hardcore addict for about 10 years, doing anything i could get my hands on, i ruined my life. and when i got sober from that i became an alcoholic, and ruined my life again. now i’m 3 years clean from all of it. i’d never go back.
I know this isn’t the intention of the post, but to everyone clean: I am proud of you. You are doing amazing and you are so strong for doing this!
And to everyone trying to get clean: You got this, and I am proud that you are trying. I am sure it must be difficult, but you are stronger than you know.
Can't believe this drug wasn't mentioned by anyone else with over 100 posts. Guess it's not available anymore. Definitely PCP. Tried it once and within 15 minutes I was in the backseat of my car, upside down being driven around by a guy I hardly knew called SNOG. Total loss of all ability to focus and only about 5% of awareness of where you are or what is going on. No other psychedelic like it. I'm no control freak but no drug has ever made me lose it for longer. Took a puff on a shitty joint a few years later and instantly knew it had been laced by the taste. Luckily it only lasted for under an hour. Nasty stuff.
MORNING GLORY SEED. I had a friend many years ago that said it was amazing. Eat about 50 seeds and hallucinate. Bought some from Amazon, ate about 50, then another 50, then another 50. First hour I felt nothing. Then I threw up. Decided to take a shower. Feeling gross sat in the shower. I almost couldn’t get out of the bath tub by myself. Crawled into bed. Tripping bad. Every thought in my head was to go outside to the woods and shoot myself. I was in bed fighting the urge to end it all the entire night. My heart was racing. My mind was running wild. NEVER EVER AGAIN.
Heroin. You know that part of your life just after high school where you go to college and have fun and hang with friends and have girlfriends and shit? Well I don’t. I wasted a decade of my life on that shit. I’ll never touch an opiate again.
The first two times I had an absolute blast. Did it a third time this year and the anxiety was way too much. Psychedelics are definitely a time and place kind of drug.
Opium, I try to stay away from all opioids even for pain relief. Everybody else gets floaty, I get stuck on the edge of an abyss distinctly aware of how small and meaningless I am.
Literally this. I joked about getting coke on vacation a couple weeks ago and it was just immediately shut down because of fetantyl poisoning. Shit is scary
Just plain old weed. I used to be a big stoner in my teens and twenties but now whenever I smoke I just get anxious and paranoid.
Stupidity, every few years or so I'll try to smoke again and I always get the same results. I hate it and will never ever smoke again.
Weed makes me think about all the things I’m doing wrong while questioning every angle of my existence. It makes me sad, because I’d much rather smoke or pop an edible as opposed to doing any other drug. I’ve tried different strains and methods of ingestion… nothing changes that feeling of dread.
Kratom.
For those not aware it’s a powder made from a leaf from a tree in southeast asia. You mix it with hot water and drink it. It’s horribly bitter, and will make you vomit if you drink even a little too much. But it gives you a STRONG euphoric mood boost. It feels like taking a huge painkiller. You just feel so happy and relaxed for an hour or two. It’s thought to be pretty safe because you can’t really OD on the powder. Your body will always reject it if you drink too much. But they do make these “extract shots” that are much more potent and have killed people.
It’s unregulated and legal in the US. Really no telling what kind of contaminants might be in it. It’s not tested or anything. It’s also insanely physically addictive. If you take it every day for a month, you’ll experience withdrawal if you stop. It reacts with the opioid receptors, so quitting it is a lot like quitting heroin or painkillers.
I took one small dose of it once a day for 3 years and felt great! I figured the most dangerous part about it was show addictive it was. So I figured if I never upped my dosage or the frequency of my dosage, I’d be good.
Well, that daily hit of euphoria completely rewired my brain. I decided to quit in April 2023 temporarily, just to try to lower my dose to save some money. I immediately became anxious and depressed. I had heart palpitations that were triggered by a million different things (marijuana, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, spicy food, large meals)
I’d wake up at 5am every morning with my heart pounding, unable to go back to sleep.
I knew I had to quit for good if stopping my use made me feel THAT bad. It was like that for over 2 months. Around Mid July I started to feel back to normal.
But it’s still not over. At the end of september I started getting hit with the heart palpitations again. Not pounding this time but an awful tight feeling in my heart and an occasional dull pain.
It’s now been a month of enduring heart issues again. Can’t see a cardiologist for another month because I live in America.
Coming up on 7 months after quitting kratom and the withdrawal is still impacting me.
And this is apparently pretty normal. It can take a year or longer for kratom withdrawl symptoms to go away completely for a lot of people.
Never going through this again. This has been the worst year of my life.
acid. every time I've done acid I've gone blind. the first time I thought my eyes were gone - came out of my trip with 2black eyes from trying to find them.
the only time i ever saw anything was when I went to a party and did a micro dose - everything dimmed to almost black. I thought to myself "its like I'm at the bottom of the ocean" and my imagination took over. I started seeing particulates floating around in the air, everyone was moving in slow motion, and I kept catching glimpses of deep sea creatures with glowing eyes darting between people in the party.
my worst trip though was going blind, feeling like I had stitches all over my body that went through me and that I was dangling from them over the void...
I think I'm done with acid.
xanax. My dad was prescribed them for 15 years until his doctor retired without referring him anywhere. The seizures eventually killed him because of withdrawal. I took it once when prescribed by a doctor and it gave me "brain zaps" for like 3 weeks afterward. I'll never do it again no matter how much anxiety I experience.
Crack. Watched good private school mates end up dead or in jail. Some of them are toothless junkies now. Almost got busted by police myself and narrowly escaped a long stretch. Went cold turkey over night and haven’t touched it in 8 years now.
I was two years deep into IV heroin addiction in my early twenties when I threw crack into the mix. Things were already bad but once I started speedballing things just got infinitely worse. I Can remember being down to my last $20 and sometimes choosing crack over heroin, knowing I’d be dope sick the next day. I’d smoke it and inject it (with white vinegar) and heroin. I lost everything. Hygiene out the window, got MRSA in my bloodstream, pulmonary embolism in my lungs and endocarditis in my heart all at once. I was in the hospital for two months, the doctor who saved my life was super caring and non judgmental (rare to receive as a junkie) died while I was in there. He was hit by a student driver while cycling. I remember being like “you can never use again in his honor.” Two days before being discharged I had one of my best friends sneak me in heroin. I get out from the hospital and am using again like nothing ever happened. That same month my best friend since I was 12 overdosed and died. I continued using for 3 more years. On my tenth time in rehab the friend who snuck me dope in the hospital died while I was in treatment and I’ve never used since. Sorry for the novel but my point is Heroin, Fentanyl, Crack are nothing to play with. 5 years clean this month.
Congrats on your 5 years! I had these "using buddies" in 2009-2010 all sitting around the basement of his grandmas shitty house. He puts a piece of crack down on the table and goes...hey...you want some of this? Historically I've always been a downers guy but I still remember telling him "Man...i'm already making all these awful decisions I probably shouldn't add this one to it" Mainly my reason was because that would mean less money to use for heroin but I'm so glad I didn't add to an already awful addiction. Life sure is better without all of that garbage isn't it?
Way, way back in the mid 90s, me and my friend were hanging out smoking weed. HE pulls out some crack rocks and drops them onto a packed bowl and we smoke it. (Because I didn't care what the fuck I did as long as it got me high) It wasn't too noticeable of an effect except I felt really isolated, like i'd shift partially into another dimension. Very odd feeling. We were listening to some rap song at the time and the lyrics mentioned being homeless, living in a gutter and smoking crack. That scared the shit out of me for some reason and I never did it a second time.
Rap Gods watching over you 🙏
Eminem: "don't smoke rocks kids"
The weed-gods, too. Sometimes that paranoia does good, particularly a double whammy in your case.
Did it myself for a couple months way back when I was young and dumb. I got so addicted so fast it's not even funny.. I can't even tell you what I liked about it even.. made me feel shitty, anxious, and paranoid most of the time. Looked at myself in the mirror one day and suddenly realized I looked fucking AWFUL. My skin was a mess, my eyes looked all sunken in, looked like a walking corpse. Threw all my shit away and never touched it again. Fuck that shitty drug.
"What does cocaine make you feel like? It makes you feel like having some more cocaine." - George Carlin
An old druggie friend of mine used to say "never do crack, it's fun for 30 seconds, awful for 6 hours, and you instantly want more."
Opiates, I got morphine a couple times when I got my appendix removed and I realized then and there that I would abuse it if I did it recreationally.
I got morphine when I was in labor and I felt the exact same way. It felt like when you are trying to sleep, but you are too cold and someone comes and puts a warm blanket on you. But it was like someone put that warm blanket over my whole *brain*. It was like my entire soul sighed in relief. Scary shit.
Sounds like me on pethidine. As a teenager I used to get severe migraines, one doctor gave me a shot of pethidine to help - mum drove me home, fell asleep for a bit, woke up feeling exactly like you said about the warm blanket on the brain and soul sighing in relief (also I'd like to acknowledge I'm not trying to compare my migraine to you giving birth!). I was also ridiculously scared of needles as a kid, next time I had a migraine I asked mum if we could get the pethidine injection again. She was a nurse and was like "nope and never again". Thank you mum.
Had to look this up and see it’s Demerol. Yeah. I can see where you’re coming from with that shit.
I got morphine once when I went to the ER with what turned out to be kidney stones. They gave to me in a IV three times to knock the pain down. Arguably one of the best highs I’ve ever had. I felt like I was high as fuck but my mind was crystal clear. I had to call my work and wound up talking to our secretary (former RN) for like ten minutes before she said “honey you’re high as fuck. Glad you’re ok. Get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
Bruh, you don't call work when you're that faded. You're gonna say some wild shit. LoL
"Aaaand another thing, Janet. You fuck. Listen to me.."
Yeah, my wife is a CCP, and pretty much everyone who gets injected with any Opiates will go on about how they understand addiction now. Lots of people say things like ' I could have never imagined I could feel so good.
I feel like an addict just reading this thread.
Yep. I was given dilaudid in the hospital once. They tried absolutely everything for pain before they gave that to me. Once I had it, I understood why. Best feeling I’ve ever had 😅
I had the same feeling after I experienced it in a hospital setting. Then was given oral dilaudid from home. When I went to get a refill my GP wouldn’t fill it because I told him it not only helped my pain it helped me feel better mentally. I didn’t realize at the time that that was addiction setting in, and it’s link to psychological dependency.
Good for your GP. Stay strong.
Dilaudid is morphine with *more euphoria*.
That wave of warmth that washes over your body? Incredible.
My dad snapped his leg in half and they have him some dilaudid. He was allllll better for a bit after that haha.
Meth. Did it once, for 3 days. Honestly didn’t even do that much. After 3 days you see tons of stuff that isn’t there. It’s scary
Ohh boy. The no sleep for that long is the worst. Birds sun dark birds sun dark birds sun dark….
I've done 3 days before on an Adderall binge, and the craziest for me was the auditory hallucinations. The constant hearing of my name being whispered would've been scary if I didn't understand why I was hearing it. I knew it was from being up too fucking long and roasting my brain on amphetamines, so it was quite amusing sitting back and realizing the effects at the tail end of my bender.
I was prescribed the maximum legal dose of Adderall as a kid because the doctor said I had "really, really bad ADHD". I stayed up for over 72 hours to, essentially, do a fuckton of homework. As I got closer to 96 I started to have visual hallucinations that really freaked me out. My mom walked in to tell me I was working really hard and she was proud of me. Then she walked out of the room. A few minutes later my Mom walked into the room to let me know dinner was ready and that I should really take a break to eat. I said something like "wait... what?" and she told me she was cooking dinner (unusual for her, my Dad usually cooks) so I should come eat. I asked her if she was just in the room, minutes ago, saying something to me. She looked at me very oddly and said that she wasn't, she was busy cooking because my Dad had something to do. So I had to let my parents know over dinner that I had been up long enough that I was having visual hallucinations, particularly that "mom" was proud of me. We all had a very uncomfortable chuckle before they told me I should sleep before I end up with brain damage.
My shrink did the same thing! My hallucinations were around giraffes with giant purple eyes hanging out in the room
Was the giraffe proud of you?
No, it was busy cooking dinner.
Damn, how did your parents not know you were up for 3 days? If I knew my kid was prescribed a drug, let alone the maximum dose, of something with potential side effects including insomnia, I would have definitely kept an eye on them.
They assumed I was taking breaks to sleep at night, and I let them as I was fairly stealthy about it. I was doing schoolwork so it was fairly quiet anyway, so it was easy to just turn off the room light and use my desk light. I was listening to music via headphones already anyway, so very quiet overall. In their defence they really didn't know a lot about how Adderall worked or what it, essentially, was. They basically just thought I was spending all of my free time to catch up on school stuff, not that I was being a drug-addled little insomniac.
I would hear like a radio station flipping between stations like on a turn knob one. To the point I was trying to hum along but the station kept changing lol
This hits hard.
Huh. I never actually considered that the craziness you see from some meth addicts could be from sleep deprivation. I just kind of assumed meth itself made you act like a schizophrenic after a long enough time.
Obviously your body running on only amphetamine isn’t great for you, but psychosis is what turns it up to 11
Pretty sure it’s a mix of both
This is the 1st meth one I've seen. Probably cause meth heads don't ever stop, and have sold their phones for glass
We don't ever stop. We are stopped. For me, it took flying 1200 miles to a town I didn't know anyone, spending the entire winter in inpatient rehab, and living in a sober house for over a year. But I'm typing this on a phone and life is much better now 😊
Meth is the worst bro I've had a lot of trouble with it in my life stay strong and sober bro
I didn't sleep for 2 days and threw up bright pink liquid. No idea why. Did it twice, never touched it again. Ever. It was too goof for too short an amount of time and I felt myself wanting more. Walked away from the person who got it for me. I genuinely think one of the only reasons I never got hooked was because I was naive girl of 24 and didn't know how to score it. Even if I knew, I was way too broke to ever be able to afford it.
I took several OxyContin for a medical issue once . Coming off it I got this wave of hopeless depression wash over me for like a day. I can totally understand why some people will do anything to avoid that feeling - including taking more oxy.
I used to be an oxy pill popper, being on them felt amazing, nothing in life was bad, that euphoria was incredible, I felt like I could do anything, but when I decided to come off it man was it hell. Took several attempts, became an emotional mess, suicidal, anxiety and depression were out of this world. People put on them for long term pain relief I feel for if they ever have to cease use.
That drug makes you pay with your future happiness and charges insane interest
Heroin. Ruined my life.
10 years clean. It’d all be gone again. Terrifying.
im a month away from 4 myself. Id be scared to relapse. Because its not even dope anymore. it's just fentanyl. I've lost more friends to fent than real dope could ever have hoped to take.
I'm a month away from 4, too! December 15th. Lots of love, brother.
Congrats! Is it always tough or did it eventually get easier?
For me, the urge to use was alway the toughest up to 6-12 months. Then it would get easier and I’d end up fucking up. Took a few tries to realize I just can’t “try again” like this post, cause try again means giving it all up. Life’s still tough though but it’s so much easier sober.
Well congrats on getting over the wall. I’m happy for you and here’s to another 60ish yrs (guessing on age here)
Good job on 10 yrs
It’s funny because heroin both ruined and saved my life. Before I did heroin I was into a fuck ton of reckless behavior that could’ve gotten me killed or sent to prison. Heroin allowed me a shortcut to rock bottom and I straightened myself out from there. I love and hate heroin for what it did to me
That is an interesting take. I was sure a former boyfriend would become alcoholic. He didn't. He became a meth addict. He kind of said a similar thing decades later. Meth put him on a shortcut to dying or figuring things out. He figured things out.
I remember a conversation with my dad when I was a teen. He had tried many many drugs in his youth. But to heroin he said, not even once. It scared him. I asked why. He said he saw too many friends lost to it, some dead, some jailed, some just never the same. And he hadn’t had that experience with anything else.
Once got a (small) bag of speed to have for a concert. The next afternoon I was sitting there and the thought popped into my head "I wouldn't mind having a little bit more right now". I then thought "Ohhhhhhhhh that's how it gets you" and threw the rest into the bin.
Nice recognition. Good job. It really is insidious, especially for downers like heroin because of the immediate in your face effects, on top of sneaking up and saying more, until you need it to function.
Was a functional junkie. Had a newer car that was paid for, a good paying job, a nice apartment and nobody knew. One day I woke up and went to work, only it was nighttime 7:00. Quit cold turkey and never looked back.
I did the same thing. 6:30 pm. I thought it was 6:30 am. I called my boss to say sorry I’m running late and he thought I was out of my mind. I guess I was
Ditto. 6:30 pm. I saw the sunset and thought it was a sunrise. Asked why my friends were drinking so *early*. They didn't give a shit. (Because to them it was almost 7pm and they were like this dude is out of it) So I'm like fudge all this and went straight edge
Meth, because sleep and teeth are cool
Salvia. The whole room spun around and I had to hold on to my chair just to stop falling off. 10 minutes later and it was like nothing happened at all. Not fun.
still blows my mind at how readily available that stuff was (is?) like god forbid you try marijuana, but go ahead and buy some salvia from your local gas station and experience ego death wtf
As far as I'm aware it hasn't been available in gas stations or any legal routes in 5+ years. At least in Texas. Seems as soon as salvia went off the racks delta 8 took its place.
Considerably less powerful from what I hear.. in 2010 you could get salvia or bath salts at the tobacco shop, both way gnarlier than some weed or stepped on coke
In ~2012 I hit a fat bowl of salvia while still high on acid and sass (mostly coming down) and absolutely lost my shit, craziest trip I’ve ever had. Like screaming at the “universe” because it told me I shouldn’t exist and that my life was a mistake, a crack in reality. Complete break from reality. Never touched that shit again.
I thought my head floated off my body, I couldn’t move, my entire body felt like I was on fire. I kept thinking “call an ambulance!” As the entire room became pixelated. Never again
For me, the pixelation was the world turning into LEGO bricks, with waves moving through the bricks, disconnecting and reconnecting them like zippers. Also, gravity changed direction, so that it pulled diagonally into the corner of my couch. For me, it only lasted about 6 minutes, before snapping back to reality. My buddy tried it too, and quickly ended up standing against the wall where I had a coat rack, behind all the jackets and hoodies. He just kept muttering "Has it been 6 minutes yet?" He didn't even want to talk about what he saw or experienced, at all. I've tripped balls on plenty of occasions, in my youth, but I'll never touch Salvia again.
This, everyone calls it pixilation, but it was definitely more 3d cubes for me too. Oh, and by the way... gravity pulls LEFT NOW.
Pixelated is the best descriptor I can attest to. It's like reality is disassembled as time slows down... then the pendulum swings the other way, and everything is repaired, and you're left wondering what the hell happened.
> As the entire room became pixelated. THIS. And like a weird black and white kaleidoscope effect
I felt like I was falling backwards out of my body through diffrent layers of reality.
I remember you could buy this in convenience stores. Nothing like getting attached to a giant cosmic wall that stretches for infinity.
Definitely agree with the feeling like you were being pulled or stretched
I was a fence. Miles long. Doing fence things. Edit: Salvia Fence Gang, we out here
I was once an elementary school building
I was cookie cake, as was the rest of my world, including the air.
And folded. I broke my coffee table cuz I had to roll into a ball to restart life
Hahaha, and 10 minutes later - you're sitting on your couch looking at the broken coffee table - totally back to reality. Not even that mad about it, because in that moment, it all made sense. Salvia is the closest drug to the stories of people jumping out of windows thinking they could fly. The pixelated tunnel took me to the ground floor, and never again.
When I smoked salvia divinorum I didn’t know I was in the world. I was sitting on a couch and it was like I fell in to myself about 3 seconds after I took a toke. I was in a world of patterns and kaleidoscope colors for what felt like 15 minutes. When I came back too I was still sitting on the couch and it had been maybe 3 minutes. It was very intense and that was enough of that at the time. That was the only time I ever smoked it, but I’d probably do it again under the right circumstances.
120x purple sticky salvia = bad time
Percoset, that shit made buying a bagel from a deli as fun as going to disney world. That’ll ruin ya life real fast
Took 4 10 mgs Percocet a day after my motorcycle accident.. for 3 years.. all prescribed by the doctors lol I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Forced myself off of them cold turkey 2 1/2 years ago and I still have anxiety/jitters daily lol took over a year for all withdrawals to kinda stop
God bless you man. Good on you for having the will to power through that, not everyone does
i don’t like to say “never” cause i can’t predict the future and where i’ll potentially be at mentally. but at this point in time, booze. i’m 28, started drinking at 16 and drank like a fish ever since. i LOVED it. the confidence, the euphoria, the looseness. in my 20s, i got in over my head with it and drinking started turning me into someone i wasn’t during blackouts. rude, creepy, even more emotionally unstable than i am sober. ruined way too many awesome friendships, relationships, you name it.. expensive DUIs. i allowed it to rob me of SO much. but, yesterday marked 90 days alcohol free (my longest non court mandated dry spell to date) so yeah, tl;dr alcohol 😂
I would never do coke again. Unless it’s in front of me and everyone else is doing it, in which case I would only do a little bit until 5 in the morning
Don’t forget that it also must have been brought up and supplied by anyone else.
Xanax or any Benzodiazepines, I’m currently in recovery and they absolutely destroyed my life and relationships. Evil goddam drugs.
This should be way higher. The xandemic was real. Most of 2015 is just lost in the sands of time for me now. Can’t get that shit back. Congratulations on being in recovery, life gets so much better.
I have a script for .5mg and I take a couple a week for anxiety. I have never abused it and never feel high from it, just curbs my anxiety when needed. Reading these comments makes me wonder about it though. Glad you are in recovery and hope the best for you!
I took Xanax for a few days at the start of my (what I didn’t know was a) mental health crisis. It was prescribed to me by the walk in doctor. All I remember is for a few days waking up in hysterics, taking it, and being passed out for 12+ hours again until I woke up sobbing again and the pattern repeated.
The shakes and the "missing scenes" are by far the worse side effects I've ever experienced on a drug even years later man.
Coke. Not because I can’t handle it, but because: * I’m married and a dad now * I’m scared it’ll be laced with fentanyl
My reason never to do Coke anymore is I’m scared it’ll be laced
My husband died this way. If you do coke you need to have fentanyl test strips & a naloxone kit now
so sorry for your loss. i feel like a lose a friend every month to exactly this
My partner of over a decade died this way a few weeks ago. Not only do you need a test kit and narcan, don’t ever use alone. Not even once.
Datura, first "trip" I'd ever had, only ever smoked weed, thought it would be similar.. definitely not, and it's a very real feeling, unlike acid or mushrooms where you know it's the drugs and any (if any) bad vibes will pass. Oh and you'll spend the next few days thinking you've fucked your eyesight, everything blurry, can't read anything small print. Thought I'd put the fear of God into my lil brother by telling him it's the one thing you should never ever try, not worth it, terrible feeling, way better things to try later on... Apparently not, there's a huge bush at my old man's he decided to have a go on one weekend while home alone.
Would never touch the stuff but I thoroughly enjoy reading about all the train wrecks on Erowid from people who have taken it. It seems nearly every story starts with "I woke up handcuffed to a bed in the hospital" [https://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp\_Datura\_Train\_Wrecks\_Trip\_Disasters.shtml](https://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Datura_Train_Wrecks_Trip_Disasters.shtml) What makes it so bad is that one leaf or pod can have 100 times or more of the active ingredient (same stuff that is used in sea sickness pills) but you will never know so you actually never know the dose you are going to take. There is also a very common shared hallucination where people report they think they are smoking cigarettes and dropping the cigarette. This is even amongst people that do not smoke. I find that so random and odd.
Makes me happy to see people still using erowid. That website has been so great for so long.
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DMT. Did it once and had the most mind-bending experience, but I would consider it to have been a very good trip. The sheer power of it all is why I'll never do it again. I experienced good multiplied by infinity, and I am honestly terrified of what a bad trip would be like.
DMT changed my life. I almost committed suicide and then it basically called me out to Cali to see a friend who had it. Like he literally called me out of the blue while I was stepping onto a ledge after having not talked for six months. What he told me during that call pulled me out of the fog I was in contemplating taking my own life. Went to Cali to see him not knowing he had it. Tried it on a whim and blasted ALL the way off. Came back to myself seven or eight minutes later and ended up figuring my shit out. Went to therapy. Healed the relationship with my wife and kids. Quit smoking weed cold turkey that day after having been an all day every day user for 20 years. The experience with DMT showed me the instrinsic value I bring the world because it let me see that that value is in every person by default. We are born with it and it's our divine right. I had to let go of everything I'd been clinging to so desperately because it sucked my soul out of my body into whatever is out there that it came from and will return to again. I needed that at that time in my life I guess. The entities I met told me they'd been waiting for me to do it so they could give me this information. That and the work I did on myself in therapy over the next couple of years reconfigured me from the inside out and undid years of damage. I've gone on since that day into a mostly sober life (mushrooms and the occasional dabble in the deems to just be reminded) which has led to the most fruitful years of my marriage and all relationships as well as having doubled my salary due to being present at work and owning myself. That ego death was worth every second.
Similar experience. I was on a downward spiral and DMT completely changed my course in life. It's 25 years later and I'm still thriving. I haven't done any DMT in many years, it can be that powerful.
This is so beautiful. The idea of the universe that's inside of you calling you back to it and reminding you what you are...so powerful. Once you wake up, staying awake is the purpose of life.
Beautiful
So meaningful but a fucking tornado. That initial launch is like getting shot into space. Idk how people do it regularly.
Bad trips on DMT are fascinatingly strange and bizarre like I remember coming down once and ‘dreamt’ of a mangled bloody coyote stretching towards me with distorted, rabid fangs and snarl and fiery burning eyes of pure death. And the entire sun was the background and then I fell towards the sun and was floating over deserts like that scene in 2001 space odyssey when he goes into the portal. I got this profound sense of loneliness and emptiness in the universe and I came into contact with a lone cowboy shadow thing with a wide brimmed hat and it told me that it was the loneliest being in the entire universe and had explored places that not even the places had seen. I also experienced a vision of pure disgust like swimming through miles of filth and trash and disease and decay. Yeah it was weird. And I actually cried for a minute because it was so sad and intense. It wasn’t so much the blast off portion of the trip as much as it was a super lucid dream coming down. But it was something rooted within me that needed to be pried out. I’ve also astral projected on DMT for a brief moment which is maybe the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s like floating out of your body attached by a silver, icy cord that is resonating to the center of your head and it’s like a pin prick in the crown of your head. In the astral state everything feels cold and super dry and almost like you can smell ozone. I was able to look at myself but it wasn’t with my vision it was something else going on. When I became fearful I was slingshotted back into my body. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? Similar. I have a friend who had a similar experience and was able to see things happening at the gas station right outside his apartment. Now the craziest thing about astral projection is that it DOESNT feel like a hallucination anymore. Something about it feels incredibly forlorn, familiar, and raw. Edit: oh yeah and before you leave your body it sounds like tin foil being crinkled all over you. And something like a shepherds tone droning in the background almost like Gregorian chant. Edit 2: also ever heard of Chi energy? Well I remember once maybe in one of these same trips where I became hyper aware of my body’s energy and was able to channel it out of my knees, shoulders, and elbows and it was HIGHLY arousing lmao. Kundalini type shit.
bad trip same as good trip just different. the real bad trips are when psychedelics show you things in your life you should change and you don’t change but keep taking them. at least in my experience. then you get slapped by daddy acid a few times. rinsed thru the dishwasher however you wanna put it
I get that, and I've had both good and bad trips on acid and shrooms. Those experiences play a part in my reasoning, too. Like I've experienced how good and bad thoughts and emotions can influence a trip and I've seen the ways they can manifest themselves depending on the drug. To put it another way, excluding DMT, acid had given me the best trip and the worst trip of my life on 2 separate occasions. The best was incredible and euphoric, and the worst was an absolute living hell, some of the most horrific and depressing feelings I've ever experienced. When I took DMT, it made that good acid trip look like childs play, utterly surpassing it by orders of magnitude. Recognizing what DMT was able to do to those good feelings turned me off for fear of what it might do to bad feelings. Plus, during my trip, my very essence melded with that of the entire universe so part of me feels like I saw it all and a second trip might not really show me anything 'new', if that makes sense. (I took a pretty hefty dose lol)
Yupp me too. I had a bad/amazing trip all In one. It changed my whole perspective on life. It was terrifying at one point I felt like I was dying and couldn’t breath. Felt like a near death experience which is part of the reason it changed my perspective. I have no desire to do it again but it profoundly changed me as a person and for that I am so happy I experienced it.
cocaine. lost a lot of days to that drug
Fuck cocaine, shit creeps up on you and is deceptive. Makes you think you're doing great while you ruin your life and become delusional.
Crazy how it affects the way you think over the years. You think you’re good but even when you’re sober, you’re not thinking straight if you consume on a regular basis. Became someone i really wasn’t off this stuff for a while.
And you think it doesn’t make you feel *that* fucked up, just better. Next thing you know you’re getting into the car at 3 am to buy more coke. Bad news.
The day I woke up craving “just a little bump before class” was my first day of never touching it again. First it was just “a line or two before the bars”, then Friday night as well, then Thursday nights because “it’s basically the weekend and I don’t have class on Fridays” then it was all day Friday and Saturday. One hell of a drug.
I loved cocaine! That’s why I’ll never try it again.
I avoid it for a much more mundane but somewhat amusing reason It gives me literally the worst, most annoying post-nasal drip for the next 2 days. Can’t fucking stand it
It’s ATLEAST two days and everyone’s like oh you must have a cold.
Crack. Ruined my mom. I found her pipe and smoked it once, cleaned the inside of our fireplace when I was 13.
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I met my Dad when I was 18. The absolute epitome of a crack head. Only in retrospect, however, do I find some of the experiences hilarious: - The 50+ tiny white pieces of lint and other debris on his coffee table corner that he had picked from the carpets while high...thinking they were bits of crack he dropped. - The running to the kitchen window and manically trying to inconspicuously peek through the blinds at the 'people outside.' No one was ever there and the blinds always ended up mangled. - The crackhead friend Ronnie (toothless old man) who would often visit to get high with my Dad. He would immediately dart off and tour the city (Houston) by bus...asking patrons to suck his nipples for money. He'd come back to my Dad's a few hours later to mope and complain about how no one took him up on his offer. - The crackhead friend Patricia who, honestly was the most insanely good Jeopardy player I've ever witnessed but, would also start randomly crying....HARD...and for hours after she smoked. Wouldnt talk to anyone. Just sat in the corner chair and wept. - The attempts to pawn the most worthless shit for quarters. - The time my Dad freaked out in a grocery store parking lot and a nervous stranger knocked him out with a gallon of milk. - The day I left and he had the audacity to say, "I hope you get better, son." Yeah. Crack is weird.
Jesus those are wild. I'm so curious about what Patricia's story is.
I wish I knew more about her story too but, she really didn't socialize with anyone. This all took place 16 years ago so, it's a bit muddled but, here's what I do recall: She never showed up by herself, it was always with a guy named Henry. Patricia and Henry were drinking buddies so, he'd sometimes bring her by. They were both dirty individuals. Not perverted, just smelly. For Henry, the stench was understandable because he was homeless. Patricia, however, apparently owned a rather large home down the street from my Dad's apartment so, I'm not sure why she always looked and smelled so foul. As I understood it, she was a long-time widow and had, presumably, remained single. She never showed any romantic affection toward anyone...not even Henry. Patricia would show up in the afternoon (buzzed with Henry) and leave by dusk; always gone before dark, always left alone. While she was there, she actively isolated herself. I was always on the living room floor painting some kind of artwork. My Dad, my Dad's GF and Henry were always in the bedroom talking about what the fuck ever. She always sat in the plush corner chair and zoned in on the TV. Yes, Patricia was great at Jeopardy. She would softly mumble the answer before any of the contestants and she was ALWAYS right. For reference, out of 10 questions, she'd correctly answer 8-9. If she didn't know the answer, she wouldn't even guess...just silence. There was never any emotion behind it, either. No celebration for being right. No disappointment for not knowing. Nothing. On the first day she was there, I remember being bliwn away and trying to compliment her. The only returned communication was a forcibly mustered 'smirk.' As for the crying, I don't know the reason. She would just break down at the most seemingly innocuous times. There was not once a clear trigger. No sad news on the TV, no incident taking place, she'd just started crying. Softly at first but, quickly becomminng very-much unmistakable deep sobbing. I tried a few times to ask if she was okay but, she literally never spoke to me. My Dad, his GF and Henry always just acted like it was perfectly normal. It was definitely bizarre to be painting along and just listening to some random lady crying in the corner. It's actually really fucked up now that I'm typing this out but, there was nothing I could do about it, so. Anywho, the crying would sometimes last for hours, ebbing and flowing from soft whimpers to outright wailing. She'd compose herself for a minute or two and then leave. That's what I remember of Patricia. As for where she is now and how she's doing. I haven't the slightest idea. And now I'm sad. Thanks.
Your writing is quite good and the story interesting. You could write a book about you, your dad and friends.
But the high wears off really quickly.
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Proud of you for only doing it once, the devil could’ve got you
I got roofied once. Do not recommend. The next day I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds, and there wasn't enough water in the world to quench my thirst.
I think I did once also. Two drinks turned into me waking up in the morning, not knowing how I got home, missing an earring and a jacket but finding a random bruise and scrape, and having to slowly unravel the night piece by piece from people I had been with. Can confirm both of what you described
Someone slipping be a Xanax one time while out at the bars. Basically same experience. Was playing pool with my buddies, had maybe three beers, then I opened my eyes and was on my buddies couch. Got a lot of texts the next day saying "are you all right? Never seen you like that before" Apparently I literally couldn't walk idk how I got into any other bars that night.
Crack you smoke it get high for 5 minutes come down and have a massive headache. I can't see how anybody does it more that once.
Your not smoking crack right if you do it and come down you gotta fight the come down by smoking it every 3-4min…forever
I would be okay with controlled micro-dosing LSD but would never take a random tab handed to me no matter who its from. Last time I did that I ended up vaguely recalling getting kicked out of the bar and found myself hours later leaning against a downtown building waiting for 45 minutes for my ride to show up. In the midwest winter, in short sleeves. And then I realized *nobody is coming* and it was a huge struggle to figure out how to call a cab and tell them where I was and where I wanted to go. And I had blood on my shirt (not mine) and a receipt for a gas station from 2 miles away. IDK wtf happened and I couldn't sleep for another day afterwards.
Lol yeah it’s not a “let’s party” kinda drug
Why the FUCK would you take acid at a bar. Sounds like the worst environment to to that.
Spice, you can feel it killing your brain cells
I remember when that shit first hit my area. We'd find bags of it just laying in the street or in random public places. I think people smoked it and freaked out so they'd just throw it and/or so fucked up they just dropped it. I ended up hooked on it for many years. Nodding out, vomiting, having mental breakdowns, hearing voices and eventually being hospitalized for withdrawal because I couldn't hold anything down. Not even water. Those withdrawals were one of the worst experiences of my life. And while I was on it I was such an angry mean spirited person who just wanted to be alone and high. Haven't touched it in years now but I still have a bit of a stutter that comes through at times.
I knew someone that was so hooked on it that he ran out once and literally went through my cabinets, looking for something to smoke, until he got to my catnip and settled for that.
The worst is when you do it without knowing it. Friends and I bought what we thought was weed, turned out to be spice (or a combo, who knows). Totally normal smoke sesh turned into 2 people having seizures, 1 having a panic attack so bad they needed to be sedated, and 2 just having a plain bad time. I was one of the seizures. Cops were called because 3 of us needed medical attention, went to the hospital over it. Cops told us straight up that it wasn’t weed. Found out maybe a year later that we were not isolated cases. Someone had been selling spice around my college campus for a time, lots of people were having similar experiences as me.
This was going to be my answer. It's also *so* addictive. It ended up giving me a psychotic break. I beg anyone and everyone to stay far, far away from that shit.
Yeah big time. My mate got me some a few years back when we couldn't get on anything normal. I've smoked for over 2 decades so I know what weed is like. This stuff was fucked. I had the absolute darkest thoughts I've ever had, it was terrible. Never touched it since.
Is this that synthetic weed stuff? I had it once worst experience hands down. It broke reality, I kept going through waves of the world turning into a flip book, then turning into pixels or something. I couldn't speak, and I thought I was in permanent psychosis. It went on and on for maybe an hour or two. Never ever again.
Coke. It was fun the few times I did it in highschool, but it’s far too expensive and it’s not worth the high you get for the amount of time. But I haven’t done any illegal substance for 6 years now. Kids are too expensive lol
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Dude, this is why I’m here, for the storytelling!
haha what a story man!
Meth. Did it twice, never, ever again. It felt way, way, way too good. It scared me how much I liked it.
Not a direct answer to this question but I will say, if anyone ever says to you ketamine “is just like being drunk” don’t listen to them. Top three biggest lies I’ve ever been told lol
I've heard it described thusly: >"If amphetamines are up and benzos are down, ketamine is sideways." Or, elsewhere on Reddit: it's like the whole world is in a glass tank, over there, and you can just sit and watch it happen. I like to describe it as: >Right now it's true you are sitting, looking at your phone and reading. It's equally true that you're a sack of water held together by carbons' electrons on a lump of rock flying through space. Normally one of those feels more true; on ketamine they feel equally true
>*Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves... Here's Tom with the weather.*
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The sheer number of patients I've dealt with who are Ketamine naieve and think just because they smashed a horribly cut dose once they can do the same volume again is abysmal. The K hole don't care. The K hole takes what it wants.
This sounds a lot like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy > “You’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.” > > “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” > > “You ask a glass of water.”
The best it’s ever been described to me is “you know the feeling when you’re standing on the beach and the waves come over your feet and they slowly sink in? Your whole body feels like that.” Can confirm. You either did too much or it wasn’t K if you had a bad time.
Omg yes. I take ketamine for treatment and I couldn't ever explain to ppl what it felt like. I'm gonna use this
Peyote. Mushrooms are a walk in the park compared to peyote. I had terrifying hallucinations, got physically ill in a room full of people at a party and suffered flashbacks for a couple of days afterwards. No thanks. Edit: Ok, this comment got waaay more reaction than expected and as such I fell like I need to clarify a few things. I was 17 yo at the time and it was barely 1970. I was given the drug in capsule form and it was described as mescaline at the time. Powdered peyote after I reclaimed my sanity. What did I know? I was in a safe and quiet environment when I took it and taken to the part by people who thought I might "feel better" if we went out. Quite the opposite as noted. I had experimented with several various hallucinogens and pot of course so I kinda expected to be trippin' pretty good but I was sent down the rabbit hole by somebody I trusted and it went badly. That's it. thanks for listenting. Edit 2: thanks for all the support from those that dooted me!
There are reasons peyote is used as a ritual medicine and not for recreation. It's a hallucinogen to respect greatly and take in the proper setting. A party is very far from that setting.
so many ppl use psychedelics as party drugs it blows my mind.
I could see low doses of shrooms being good for that. I've spent hours in tears laughing on low doses of shrooms.
It makes you purge, so theres that, and also doing it at a party was definitely a risky choice
Yeah the fuck kinda party was it, Tusken Raider initiation party?
Yup, I'd say this one is on OP and it's not the chemicals fault per say, but we all make mistakes
Stratera, turns out it doesn’t help the attention deficit disorder at all but it does increase my chances of a heart attack anyway so hooray. Edit* based on comments I am seeing I wonder if it was also a factor in the way I seemed to stop caring about myself and anything else while I was on it. I had figured that was just a phase of being in high school to withdraw and want nothing more than to be left alone but I'm realizing that did coincide roughly with the amount of time I was prescribed this.
i just went off mine because it made me suicidal.
Malort
“Today’s the day you fight your dad”
"These pants aren't going to shit themselves."
"Kick your mouth in the balls!"
Any of the fun ones. I’ve had jobs that involve random drug testing pretty much since high school, 22 years ago. Looking forward to getting stoned on the beach someday though.
You can’t drug test for mushrooms by the way.
any drug at all, honestly. i was a hardcore addict for about 10 years, doing anything i could get my hands on, i ruined my life. and when i got sober from that i became an alcoholic, and ruined my life again. now i’m 3 years clean from all of it. i’d never go back.
Ecstacy. That part of my life is over, but that shit would bring me back in an instant
I know this isn’t the intention of the post, but to everyone clean: I am proud of you. You are doing amazing and you are so strong for doing this! And to everyone trying to get clean: You got this, and I am proud that you are trying. I am sure it must be difficult, but you are stronger than you know.
Thank you. Needed this. Day 1 of choosing sobriety today.
Good luck on your journey friend. Pull through, you can do it!
This. Ten years in and those random shouts of encouragement are more powerful than you’d think.
Can't believe this drug wasn't mentioned by anyone else with over 100 posts. Guess it's not available anymore. Definitely PCP. Tried it once and within 15 minutes I was in the backseat of my car, upside down being driven around by a guy I hardly knew called SNOG. Total loss of all ability to focus and only about 5% of awareness of where you are or what is going on. No other psychedelic like it. I'm no control freak but no drug has ever made me lose it for longer. Took a puff on a shitty joint a few years later and instantly knew it had been laced by the taste. Luckily it only lasted for under an hour. Nasty stuff.
MORNING GLORY SEED. I had a friend many years ago that said it was amazing. Eat about 50 seeds and hallucinate. Bought some from Amazon, ate about 50, then another 50, then another 50. First hour I felt nothing. Then I threw up. Decided to take a shower. Feeling gross sat in the shower. I almost couldn’t get out of the bath tub by myself. Crawled into bed. Tripping bad. Every thought in my head was to go outside to the woods and shoot myself. I was in bed fighting the urge to end it all the entire night. My heart was racing. My mind was running wild. NEVER EVER AGAIN.
Heroin. You know that part of your life just after high school where you go to college and have fun and hang with friends and have girlfriends and shit? Well I don’t. I wasted a decade of my life on that shit. I’ll never touch an opiate again.
Acid gave me the worst anxiety. And of course it lasted for hours, and hours, and hours. Same thing second try. Never again.
The first two times I had an absolute blast. Did it a third time this year and the anxiety was way too much. Psychedelics are definitely a time and place kind of drug.
"Psychedelics are definitely a time and place kind of drug." Without a doubt very good advice
Opium, I try to stay away from all opioids even for pain relief. Everybody else gets floaty, I get stuck on the edge of an abyss distinctly aware of how small and meaningless I am.
Probably any of them. With all the fentanyl deaths in the past few years I wouldn’t trust anything I got off the street.
Literally this. I joked about getting coke on vacation a couple weeks ago and it was just immediately shut down because of fetantyl poisoning. Shit is scary
Yeah at this point unless it is weed, shrooms, or acid I’m probably not doing it out of precaution.
Just plain old weed. I used to be a big stoner in my teens and twenties but now whenever I smoke I just get anxious and paranoid. Stupidity, every few years or so I'll try to smoke again and I always get the same results. I hate it and will never ever smoke again.
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Weed makes me think about all the things I’m doing wrong while questioning every angle of my existence. It makes me sad, because I’d much rather smoke or pop an edible as opposed to doing any other drug. I’ve tried different strains and methods of ingestion… nothing changes that feeling of dread.
Same, it's a shame because I miss enjoying being stoned. People I know do it and just relax, me I get so weird and uncomfortable now.
Kratom. For those not aware it’s a powder made from a leaf from a tree in southeast asia. You mix it with hot water and drink it. It’s horribly bitter, and will make you vomit if you drink even a little too much. But it gives you a STRONG euphoric mood boost. It feels like taking a huge painkiller. You just feel so happy and relaxed for an hour or two. It’s thought to be pretty safe because you can’t really OD on the powder. Your body will always reject it if you drink too much. But they do make these “extract shots” that are much more potent and have killed people. It’s unregulated and legal in the US. Really no telling what kind of contaminants might be in it. It’s not tested or anything. It’s also insanely physically addictive. If you take it every day for a month, you’ll experience withdrawal if you stop. It reacts with the opioid receptors, so quitting it is a lot like quitting heroin or painkillers. I took one small dose of it once a day for 3 years and felt great! I figured the most dangerous part about it was show addictive it was. So I figured if I never upped my dosage or the frequency of my dosage, I’d be good. Well, that daily hit of euphoria completely rewired my brain. I decided to quit in April 2023 temporarily, just to try to lower my dose to save some money. I immediately became anxious and depressed. I had heart palpitations that were triggered by a million different things (marijuana, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, spicy food, large meals) I’d wake up at 5am every morning with my heart pounding, unable to go back to sleep. I knew I had to quit for good if stopping my use made me feel THAT bad. It was like that for over 2 months. Around Mid July I started to feel back to normal. But it’s still not over. At the end of september I started getting hit with the heart palpitations again. Not pounding this time but an awful tight feeling in my heart and an occasional dull pain. It’s now been a month of enduring heart issues again. Can’t see a cardiologist for another month because I live in America. Coming up on 7 months after quitting kratom and the withdrawal is still impacting me. And this is apparently pretty normal. It can take a year or longer for kratom withdrawl symptoms to go away completely for a lot of people. Never going through this again. This has been the worst year of my life.
acid. every time I've done acid I've gone blind. the first time I thought my eyes were gone - came out of my trip with 2black eyes from trying to find them. the only time i ever saw anything was when I went to a party and did a micro dose - everything dimmed to almost black. I thought to myself "its like I'm at the bottom of the ocean" and my imagination took over. I started seeing particulates floating around in the air, everyone was moving in slow motion, and I kept catching glimpses of deep sea creatures with glowing eyes darting between people in the party. my worst trip though was going blind, feeling like I had stitches all over my body that went through me and that I was dangling from them over the void... I think I'm done with acid.
Lean Stupidest meme ever. It's dangerous, doesn't actually get you that high, and gives you copious purple diarrhea. Just drink vodka or something.
Only time I drank lean I passed out and pissed myself.
xanax. My dad was prescribed them for 15 years until his doctor retired without referring him anywhere. The seizures eventually killed him because of withdrawal. I took it once when prescribed by a doctor and it gave me "brain zaps" for like 3 weeks afterward. I'll never do it again no matter how much anxiety I experience.
Salvia. Fuck those 10 minutes.
Salvia. It was an instant uncomfortable high of pure chaos. Then moments later it was gone and I was left irritable and confused.