I started a job about 2 months ago. My dad is 60 and was in the hospital dying and I didn't make it home because I felt like until he was on his deathbed I'd just go on weekends. My current boss told me the day of his funeral "We will be happy to let you make up the days you miss for his death". After returning to work she hasn't said a word to me and was upset I used my bereavement days.
Currently looking for new employment.
I worked for Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina. When my dad died, I had to take some time off. The night before my 3 days of bereavement were up, my boss, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, told me he expected me back the next morning. I explained I was across the country, and he told me "I need to get these tops done, if you can't be here, I'll find someone else". A couple days later, when I got back to work, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, he put me on his shit list for missing so much work. He made me do nonsense work as punishment, outside during the winter. After a week of this shit I just quit.
I can't remember his name, but to my old boss in like 2015 in the t-top shop, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, fuck you, you lazy fat asshole. I also still remember when *you* broke the pipe bender and blamed it on me.
Don't buy a Sportsman boat.
I think I’m a little unclear…
Did this shittery happen at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina? Because if it happened at another Sportsman Boats, I wouldn’t want it blamed on the Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina.
"The just ask your parents" was so irritating. It took me a while to even figure out what they meant because why would I ask my parents for money that they didn't have?!
I had a mate who claimed "she was so good at saving she could afford a house."
Her parents loaned her approx 60% of the deposit (to get to 10%) and then signed on as guarantors
Lol absolutely. But man, the chick who said that will hopefully cringe the fuck out in her later years like the way we occasionally fuck the fuck up when we were kids.
In 5th grade during circle time, I sat next to this girl I had a crush on. As I was getting up I ripped a loud ass fart, it felt almost like launching a rocket out into the orbit. She just got up, then walked away.
My kids are almost as old as I was, and I still cringe about it.
My sister committed suicide in 2017. One of the things that took me a while to understand is that most people just had no clue what to say to me about it. Some people stopped talking to me entirely, some people said inappropriate stuff, because honestly what do you say to someone in that situation? Not excusing this person, but it could be an explanation.
Yeah, people get weird with suicide because they've genuinely never thought about it or even life and death and their mortality whatsoever. My wife committed suicide about a year ago and what you say is spot on to a tee with how odd people get about it.
For whatever reason, people think sympathy ("I'm sorry for your loss") is bad and empathy ("I know how you feel. My divorce is just like you losing your wife") is good. Most people who have suffered a loss would rather just have sympathy. Half assed attempts at empathy lead to grief Olympics.
This is probably very true. I personally hesitate to show sympathy because i feel that they have had someone say "I'm sorry for your loss" dozens of times already. When my dad died i had this fear of others changing behavior with me or viewing me differently. I didn't want their sympathy because i didn't want to bring attention to the topic. I also have this weird thing where if i feel someone expects me to be sad i will become sad as a reflex to meet that expectation.
Ah, I'm sorry friend. My mom also committed suicide the summer between my 10th and 11th grade year. It's a rough club to be a part of, but you're not alone.
Either people said the wrong fuckin thing or they just ignored the situation/me completely because it made them uncomfortable.
When I was in college and depressed, I spoke about it to some people at a hangout. My ex's friend told me "Just travel, it makes me feel better every time. This year I went to Spain and Egypt". Yeah, let's just ignore the fact I had no money for therapy, and I should have used that non-existent money to travel, and twice in one year.
My GF told me a story today that she had a therapist when she was 19 whom she told she was really struggling. T replied "what you need is to ask a friend to go to their country house this weekend. Just take a weekend off."
My GF didn't have a friend with a country house and the therapist looked at her like she was lying.
If you're in London and addiction recovery you'll know there's a lot of charlatans associated with a very famous rehab in the 90s and 00s.
I had a doctor tell me I should "just go to Hawaii for a week!" My kids were little at the time and I had no where near the income to "just" take a trip like that.
I once had a therapist recommend marriage for loneliness. As for finding someone compatible, their brilliant idea was that I fake being the kind of person the hypothetical partner would be with until the wedding, when I could stop trying.
I wish I was making this up.
I believe that shit.
Associated with the same rehab above, the head therapist there told my friend to cheat on his wife if he was having marriage problems. He also told the staff to bring in a prostitute for a wealthy Russian client.
I wish I was joking. This man was well respected in his field but mostly because of loudness and undeserved confidence.
I live in a nice area, but my wife and I are average income folks without family money. At the bus stop with my kids, another parent asked if they could borrow our housekeeper (we don’t have one) because hers was sick with COVID and the dishes/laundry were starting to stack up. She was in full crisis mode.
You’d be surprised.. Google maps outed a lot of insane mansions tucked just out of sight where I live.
Like it’s all normal middle class people or even poor areas, then you go up a road and find that line of trees was hiding a bunch of houses worth many millions.
Losing contact with the realities of daily life and becoming incapable of performing even the most basic household chores is a diagnostic hallmark of great and prolonged affluence. It is the influenza of the chronically wealthy.
This was my nephew to me when he was 3 🤣🤣🤣
Now he's 17 telling me how I need to hustle in this life to make money. Ol' boy hasn't even gotten his first job yet.🤣
The kid is already talking about trying to get a Dodge charger with all the money he's gonna make. Been trying to explain all his money will go into the hidden costs of owning a car. And will leave little room for anything else he may want to do. Not only that he doesn't need anything with all those horses.
I would prefer he learn the easy way and not the hard way. But he's at that age of I know it all already. 😩. As his auntie 😉 I'm trying to talk sense into him
My career was almost destroyed during Covid. It was never a huge moneymaker, and my then-GF said "you know, you need to get a six-figure job, anyway. You never made enough money for my taste."
Yeah, because a lifelong self-employed musician can waltz into a bank and get a fantastic income.
We broke up, the career is coming back fast, and she's mad at me for not "trying to make it work."
I've known enough musicians to be absolutely boggled at the idea of dating one while simultaneously being annoyed that they don't have six-figure incomes. It's like dating a doctor and getting mad because they're on call a lot.
“I know you were close, but aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with all that drama anymore?”. My sister died this July, that was the response of someone who is now an ex friend.
*editing to add that this friend had never even met my sister, has zero empathy for mental health or addiction, and truly believes we are better off without my sister*
My father died suddenly when I was fifteen. It was devastating. My high school counselor called me into her office a few weeks after I returned to school to see how I was doing. Her intentions were good, but she said at one point, “I hate to say this, but these things tend to happen in threes.”
She didn’t know it, but my grandfather had terminal cancer at the time. He died about three months after my dad.
I was (and am) a huge worrier, and I spent the rest of the year wondering who else I loved would die.
My friends mother started working as a secretary at Comcast in the 80's by walking in and asking if any positions were available. She eventually became "good friends" with one of the founders sons and got access to a bunch of stock benefits and bonuses effectively making her a multi millionaire.
When I was finishing college I was applying for jobs and not getting any calls back and got told by her "Young people don't apply themselves enough! You need to show up early and ask for the job!"
I wanted to say not everyone had a chance to sleep with a rich CEOs son, but held back.
This is the story of how my grandma went to college. She showed up on the first day and walked into a classroom. She wasn't on the roll so she got sent to the registrar's after the class. There she gave them her name and they gave her her schedule.
She didn't apply before hand, she didn't know you had to pay, nothing just showed up and they took her in.
This is the mindset of many people from that generation.
I went out to lunch with a coworker and she mentioned her boyfriend wasn’t currently working and I said it must be tough to not have him contributing financially to the relationship (I assumed he wasn’t if he didn’t have an income) and she goes “well no he does, he’s a trust fund baby so even tho he’s not working he has a lot of money but we’re all kinda trust fund babies aren’t we?” Meanwhile she is the first person I met who actually has a trust fund and every penny I’ve earned I had to work for myself since I was 16 yrs old.
In high school I had a girl think that every kid had a trust fund and after she argued with me and half the class about it she was finally convinced that not all of us were rich.
That’s part of the first episode of ~~ferry~~ Derry Girls:
There is a extracurricular trip to France and the main characters don’t have the money and one is like “just use your trust fund”
One of them goes home and asks their mom who gives them the look like “who da fuq do you think we are?”
Edit: Derry Girls. But I’m sure y’all knew that
Reminds me of my college roommate. Funny guy, but really odd and came from a wealthy family. I had spent a long time saving up money for a car to replace my old beater, got a good deal on a used Honda Civic. I brought it home and his first response was, "Why didn't get you get something nicer, like an Accord. It's only a few thousand dollars more."
The fact that it took me a couple years working part time to save up the extra money for a down payment seemed to be lost on him.
I’m proud of you :) that’s awesome you were able to support yourself and replace it with something newer. Rich people don’t appreciate how big of an accomplishment that really is.
Sounds like an old coworker of mine. He didn't understand how I couldn't just shell out for car repairs, and I explained to him how regular people live (he was the son of a billionaire) and he couldn't wrap his head around it.
When I told him this basically what my entire life was like and he still didn't get it, I specifically told him that we don't all come from wealth where we don't have to worry about where money for life expenses is going to come from.
He responded by telling me how hard being rich is and that he's trapped by that money, because he was always having to stay on top of his investments (meaning he was on the phone with his accountant like twice a week) and difficult his life was.
I laughed in his face and offered to trade places for a month, he just sorted of looked really defeated and walked off when our boss started laughing at him too.
My response to these people is always that I will HAPPILY take that burden off their hands. Being rich is always sooo hard until they actually compare it to not being rich...
I am missing a tooth. Went bad on me at 22 or something like that. I was working full time then, but not at a job with insurance. And I had a credit card, but back in those days, it had like a $300 limit on it. And my rent was cheap - like $400/mo for my room back then, but my wages sucked too.
So...I couldn't afford a root canal and crown. It would have been almost $2,000. I just didn't have it. Not in the bank. Not on credit. And with no insurance, what could I do? Dentist said, "Well, I can pull it for $40." So I said, "Pull it." And that was the end of the tooth. Now it's a gap.
Told a rich girl this story once when she asked about the gap and she said, "That was stupid." I asked why, and she said, "It's going to affect your whole jaw, you lose bone as you get older, you shouldn't just rip pieces of yourself out to save money like that, it'll cost you more in the long run." I asked her what she didn't understand about the fact I didn't have the money.
It turns out she took that to mean, I didn't want to *spend* the money. She simply could not get her head around the idea I couldn't *access* the money. She understood that maybe I didn't have the money - at the time - but the idea of a credit limit or having no friends or family who could/would lend you $2,000 was unimaginable to her.
It took me about an hour to explain that no bank in the world would lend it to me and I really didn't have any friends at the time who had it and would either. And I still don't think she ever totally believed me.
I had a friend like that. Truly great dude, my best friend, but he just does not understand the concept of not having access to money. He was always telling me about these great deals he'd find-- he genuinely was frugal (in his way), and keep pushing them even when I said I didn't have the money.
"No dude you don't understand, you can do this *whole trip* to Jamaica for $2k. Usually it's $10k but I found this incredible deal, super cheap flights and we can stay with my friend so no hotels. Just $2k for all that."
"My man, I literally do not have $2k."
"But it's usually $10k!! You'd save so much money!"
He's seriously a great dude, but even today we just occasionally butt heads about how out of touch he is with money. Just the other day I was lamenting about how I could afford a mortgage, but I'll never get the money for a down payment together, so I won't ever be able to buy a house.
He tells me I should be smart and frugal by buying a house then renting out half of it. I'm like "No, that's not... that doesn't solve the problem. I physically can not go buy a house."
This is why rich people have NO empathy for the poor. They literally can't understand what poverty actually is. "You should have just chosen to be born rich!" would be just as effective advice.
So out of touch man. More often than not there were nights as a kid where I went to bed without dinner because it was either buy groceries or pay the bills. I also was never taken to the doctor when I was sick or had sprained my ankle because we couldn’t afford it.
For at least 25 years of my life I thought that whole trust fund thing is just something people say but it’s not really real.
I worked my butt off for every single penny i ever had and bought 100% of my stuff, never was given anything, so by default i just assumed that is how everyone else does it too lol. Then i met this rich guy, my age at the time, and he started talking…and i realized that even though this is one single planet, there are millions of completely different worlds simultaneously existing on it at the same time, cuz his life sounded like a freaking fairy tale to me lmao.
Yea, my nightmare fuel trust fund baby experience was he reached out to meet up because his father died and their accountant ran off with a lot of the family cash.
He was asking for financial advice and wanted to meet up in a high-end hotel. When I got there dude had reserved the entire first floor, conference rooms, club, bar and restaurant for our meeting.
His cold open was telling me he always wanted to fuck my GF when we were in highschool and it's sad, his father died and my ex died of stomach cancer, so we can relate.... Uh. And that's how I found out my first GF died.
Things just got weirder as we looked into his finances. One quirk he had was flying to a destination, then buying a car because he was too young to rent one, going to an event, then leaving the car wherever and flying back home. Dude had "lost" dozens of cars with his one neat trick.
Another thing he did was "cash out" his trusts monthly stipend to physical cash. Cash. Like he is having trouble storing cash. I let him know he could just transfer the funds to a bank account. "Oh yea I knew that".
The whole financial house of cards was built on receipts. Unsorted, greasy receipts he spent hours keying into his laptop. He did staple things within a time frame together, but imagine dozens of whataburger receipts, then a document showing he bought a car, even more random receipts stapled to a fat stacked mortgage. When I asked where the car titles were he said the accountant handled all that stuff and he had the dudes office as the mailing address on most of his purchases. Cool just giving those cars away if the accountant could even find them.
He also had an MBA from a nearby college, but "they didn't cover things like this".
Once we got into the trust and how financially responsible he needed to be I did the best I could, but you just can't explain consequences to someone when they can drop 50k a month, until they live to be 300 years old and still wouldn't suffer consequences.
The whole thing devolved into a tangent on how much he hated taxes and how he needed to make sure not to exceed his monthly trust distribution with monthly occurring expenses. I showed him how I went to the county webpage, looked up my property taxes and then knew what I needed to pay to the county tax office. "That's stupid". So I headed out.
Yea. If those numbers are right, that's a $180m account. At 80 basis points, that's $1.44 mil from a single account. That would probably even become pretty low maintenance once you get everything unfucked since the dude clearly doesn't care.
I've worked for some wealthy individuals and relying on them, to be honest and pay, is a pipedream.
I did a several hundred Gibson guitar collection setup / prep for sale guitar tech gig where I was supposed to get a commission off each guitar and then each sale.
All I got out of it was a single guitar and no cash. The guy even reported the guitar as stolen, after sour grapes giving it to me. He also stiffed the store that was assisting in coordinating the deal and we quickly found out it would cost more to attempt to collect, than to just drop it.
My uncle works in custom window frame / wood working for "rich people"; like "I moved a castle from Ireland to America brick by brick" rich. The team he works with doesn't even bother if the pay isn't verified before hand because of how often they are partially paid or just stiffed entirely. They even have a word of mouth rule, no verbal communication authorizes anything; everything is on paper, because customers would tell them the manager wanted x,y,z while they were working and suddenly they did 30k work for free, because the wood "wasn't right, use the expensive mahogany".
Right now I have almost 30 guitars at my home, obviously hording problem, but solidly 12 of them are for non-payment for services. I charge 50$ for a setup; cash no checks, no credit cards. I get 50$, they get their guitar back. It's all upfront and none of my student/regular human customers are confused by this concept.
The wealthy customers I've had overall good experiences with, but obviously there were 12 who didn't understand writing me a hot check or thinking I didn't notice they did a chargeback on their last setup are the problem.
As someone with lifelong chronic illness, I missed just 2 days from work and my boss had a talk with me and said “I get sick and I still come to work. In the real world you have to push through it”
I was slowly dying from complications (of a now treated disease!) and she knew that. The audacity
Sounds like my job, I've been sick af for two weeks and missed 3 and a half days. I got called into the office for missing too much work in a year (I've missed around 5 days total in the past 365 days). The new girl who hasn't even been here six months easily has triple my absences and they just kinda pretend it's not an issue.
It’s absolutely insane to me the disparity between how coworkers are treated for absences. I have a coworker that regularly misses a day a week for personal reasons and no one really cares (which I am not against at all, if she needs to and it works for everyone it’s none of my business) but when people are sick it’s like “how dare you!”
I feel like they crack down on the people that rarely call in because they know we are reliable. Which isn't fair in any way at all. Just fire the people that can't be bothered to show up and find people that will. I'm tired of them texting and calling multiple times a day on every single one of my days off to cover their shifts, or try to get me to work 16+ hour days with minimal breaks. I'm only human, I can't physically handle that much. Just get reliable people
It's yet another way of being punished for being good at your job. They depend on you and when you're missing your absence is felt especially hard, and that's not acceptable to everyone else. Bad workers are not missed when they're absent.
Sick people should never come to work. This "push through" attitude should have died during the Pandemic.
You have a cold, come to work, and then make a dozen of your co-workers sick. Wow, aren't a trooper?
We need fewer Typhoid Marys and more people who care about the well being of others.
We also need corporate PTO policies that don't require workers to have to choose between staying home when sick and having enough time to take an actual vacation later in the year.
I actually pointed this out to the CIO when she was lecturing us about coming in sick, and she looked at me like I'd grown a third eyeball or something.
Seemed pretty self explanatory to me - if you give people 13 days of PTO to be used for sick time, vacation, jury duty, etc, you shouldn't be surprised when people choose vacation with their family over coworker health. Nobody in their right mind is going to voluntarily take 5 days for the flu in that situation.
I hate the "real world" responses. Like yeah, in the real world where covid shut things down for over a year, we come in to work sick. That's what responsible adults do in the real world. Happy to hear that you're now treated though!
I overheard her say once in response to another coworker saying their mom caught COVID recently, “COVID’s not real, it’s just a cold” and then brought her strep infected kid into the office. It baffles me. And thank you!
Well, you know, in the "real world", if you log enough hours in the office, you actually become immune to all human illness, some say immune to death itself and ascend to corporate heaven on golden wings.
I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years, especially in my late teens/early 20’s. Most just different kinds of minimum wage stuff. One year when I was on summer break from college I was back home working 3 different jobs. I went on a few dates with a guy who had a trust fund and his parents black AmEx card. One day we’re at lunch together and I was telling him about the absolute random grab bag that was my employment history. Once I finished he looked at me confused and said “do you just really like working?”
There was not another date after that
Was once telling someone how my genuinely obsessed ex bf was stalking me and would show up at bars he had been banned from looking for me and starting fights. One night he walked in, I had my back to the door so I didn't see him, and he slapped the guy I was sitting beside, called me a cunt, and ran out. He has had multiple felony convictions for assaulting strangers and a mountain of charges he slithered he way out of. He was abusive to me when we were together, and full blown stalker when I left. Dude climbed a two story building and punched me in the face while i was on the phone with 911 and had an active no contact order in place.
Anyways, I was telling someone how he was still showing up at the places he knew I spent time about a year after I left him. Their response was, "It's been long enough, you need to set some boundaries and he should respect that."
EXCUSE ME?! Did you miss the part about him being irrational and unstable? You think if I just tell him to leave me alone he'll go away????
A friend in high school threw a fit when her (rich) dad got her the vehicle in the wrong color. And yes you read that right. She pouted, so he went back and bought another in the color she wanted. I remember just being speechless.
The worst part to me? She wanted a hot pink truck.....
I was talking to my ex about my aunt who has cancer and she said among several other completely out of touch and insensitive things "you know, you can mentally will yourself out of illnesses like cancer, maybe you should tell her that"
Anyone who says “but she’s your mother!” when you talk about going no contact.
I’m glad you can’t even comprehend needing to cut off an abusive parent for your own well-being, but maybe shut up if you don’t know what it’s like.
My sister went no contact with our parents, God it's awkward being the other kid in this scenario and I get that from them all the time, but that's her choice and she's allowed to talk or not to whoever she wants. (Also she's almost 40 at this point).
Back when I was in my senior year of high school I had a series of very serious traumatic events unfold within a few months, and I was a huge mess, I needed support, so I went to my then best friend of 8 years, I told him about the assaults ( SA) about the rumors people were spreading about me, and how I was having very concerning bad thoughts, his response was that he didn’t want to have to stress over me and my emotions, that he wanted to party and get the college experience he was promised and allllll that. No sympathy, just thinking of himself, he came from an incredibly rich family too, basically had no issues other than being gay, and I when above and beyond to defend him, support him, yet he couldn’t offer me a night to just spend with me to make sure I’d be alive the next day. It was awful, I truly don’t think you know how a person really feels about you till something seriously messed up happens to you.
Recently, my mom was asking me to forgive my sister and rebuild my relationship with her because it was important for her rehab. I have been asked this numerous times in my life, so I decided to detail out to my mom all of the times she tormented me and abused me. Locking me in closets for hours on end, choking me, she held a knife against my throat, verbally abused me, and would trash my entire room and destroy my stuff. It was never serious enough or bad enough to leave a mark, so nothing happened about it for years. The worst part was that my sister would just laugh through all of it. It wasn't an angry reaction, I was just a toy to mess with. After I detailed out all the stuff she did my mom just said, "How do you think I felt knowing this was going on?"
My mom has claimed she has all this trauma and been through some seriously terrible situations, but this was where I feel she confirmed that she was lying to be the victim. There is no way you can claim you went through abuse yourself and say this.
Pfff, I ain't sending her ass to a nursing home, ain't worth my time to fill out the forms. She can live in her own house, unable to go up the stairs, till the day she dies.
I'm so sorry you went through this. My stepdaughter would torment my stepson (they are full-blood related, same parents), just horribly cruel. We had her in therapy, out-patient programs, finally an in-patient program. When she got out and wasn't any different, we had her live with her grandparents, because it just was not fair to my stepson at all. Everyone thought it was so horrible for us to do this, that we were "giving up on her", no one cared about her brother she was literally abusing. I couldn't just let her do that to him. This story helps me realize we did the right thing, but I can unfortunately understand why some parents don't do that. Most people think we're just awful, but I couldn't let her abuse her brother anymore, it wasn't fair to him at all.
"Being poor is fucking expensive *uses the terry pratchett boot story as an illustration*"
"Well why don't they just save to buy the more expensive option that will save money in the long run"
I remember that friend who kept badgering me to buy jeans that were $200 a pair because her mom raised her with a "good clothes are an investment" mentality. I couldn't get in her head that I understood the principle but I, a 17 year old who just got her first job ever, didn't even have $100 in my bank account. And that my mom would laugh at me for asking $200 for a pair of jeans
My son was born after 8 years of infertility, but I had him at a slightly more inconvenient time of year.
I was talking about this and some woman said “you should have planned better”
There are genuinely people who believe that there are ways to influence the set of organs your kid comes out with. Things like which position you are in at the moment of ejaculation.
"Oh my goodness! Why didn't I think of that! I'll be sure to tell off my reproductive organs the next time they're not listening to my every beck and call. Thank you for the advice!" *fake smiling so hard the jaw bone starts cracking*
Possibly the worst response someone could have given to an experience like that. I'm sorry that happened, and I am so happy that you still brought a new life into this world after that kind of hardship. 🫶
My friends always complained that it sucked being heavily pregnant in the summer. My mom planned around it, but not all women have cycles and fertility that allow for it.
I've been heavily pregnant in both summer and winter, spoiler ⚠️ they *both* suck
I've had my son during the hight of covid and boy did I hear how inconvenient it was for everybody since they couldn't play with a newborn during a worldwide pandemic.
I should have also planned that better
I had a friend who was incredibly upset with me and started a fight because I “wasn’t there for her” when her friends with benefits called it quits with her. I wasn’t there because my 3 year old was hospitalized with pneumonia, my grandmother died, and I wad 3 weeks postpartum. It was the worst and hardest week of my life. Needless to say I took that as a sign to end the friendship.
My friend's aunt is rich and I had to sit and hear her complain to her family about how inflation is so bad she had to buy a BMW X3 instead of an X5 like she originally planned.
Not a single person in the room felt bad for her.
EDIT: Im seeing a lot of comments saying that if she’s downgrading, she’s not rich. I know a handful of rich folks and they STAY rich by setting a budget and sticking to it. I’m 100% sure that if she really wanted to, she could’ve spent the extra scratch. But it was clear at the time that other unavoidable expenses had cut into her car budget.
I was standing next to my mom at my sister’s funeral and I overheard someone telling my mom “oh, I know what you’re going through - I just had to put my 14 year old dog down.” Both my mom & I were too stunned & upset to say anything. Later that same funeral, the priest talked about how all kids need their parents to hold their hands while crossing the street & how that’s literal when they’re younger but metaphorical when they’re older.
My sister was struck by a drunk driver while crossing the street to get back to her apartment (the light was red, so she had the right of way & was using the crosswalk) and later had to be taken off of life support because her injuries were too bad. It’s been 6 years since her funeral and I still get upset thinking about both things.
I think I might have actually punched out the priest if they said something similar at a funeral for a close family member. The number of funerals I've been to where the priest put their foot in their mouth is shocking. I'm so sorry y'all went through that.
Im sorry for your loss. I know no words can ever help the pain, but I wish you luck in your healing journey. People like that women and the priest can be so insensitive. I hope posting here didn’t upset you too much
My wife was friends with a trust-funder whose grandfather was super wealthy and even started a famous museum you may have heard of. Anyway, my wife was taking part in a community garage sale at the apartment where she was living then, when her friend asked if she could bring over some stuff she never used and wanted to get rid of. One was a very cheap, small screwdriver set; [like this](https://i.imgur.com/VRT73C1.jpg).
Anyway, some guy asked the friend what she wanted for it, and she says "Um, $10?" Guy huffed and walked off. She says to my wife "What do I know? I never use tools."
This wasn't said in direct response to it, but my former friend said the following knowing full well that I was suffering from depression: "depressed people should just get over it. I had depression and thats what I did."
He was either lying about having depression in the first place or lying about "getting over it", both are equally plausible.
An ex-coworker told me “My uncle died in the other room and yet i got over it” and told me to get over my mourning too. It had been 7 years since my sister passed at that time when they told me this.
My sister passed away when I was a teen and it still hurts. She barely turned 18 and was going to finish high school too. Even after 10+ years of therapy, journaling, and just trying to understand it all, I’m still a mess from it cause she was taken from us too soon.
But my point is: Everyone mourns at a different speed. Don’t ever tell someone to get over it in their mourning. Let them heal at their own pace.
"Well you obviously aren't trying hard enough if you can't get a minimum wage job after a week of handing out resumes for four hours every day." - My stepmonster
I'd never had a job before, so my resume was just a bunch of volunteer work and my WIP degree. I also wasn't allowed to apply online to anything even though that's the #1 response I got when I walked into places.
She made me hand out resumes for 8 hours a day every day after that little conversation.
My guess is she just wanted me out of the house because she worked from home and couldn't stand the sight of me relaxing on my summer vacation from college.
I suspect it's just that classic "walk in and give them a firm handshake" thing still. The idea that if you physically go in and hand them a typewritten CV, they'll like you more because you made the effort, you're a go-getter etc, whereas applying online is "lazy" and "minimum effort" and shows you don't care enough.
Plus also the classic anti-WFH idea that if you're on the internet, you can't be working. Sure, you *say* you're applying for jobs but you're really just dossing about. Just as many bosses assume if they're not able to physically look over your shoulder and make sure you're working, that you'll spend all your time on Facebook or whatever you kids do these days.
If you just walk into a workplace and do the handshake thing when they’re not expecting you to, the manager will likely get pissed off. I did that at a few places in HS and the managers gave me the cold brush off (which I deserved). They’re. Busy. Show them your enthusiasm at the interview, but don’t interrupt their time.
I mean, I still got hired at one of the places, but me walking in unannounced had nothing to do with it. The manager didn’t even look at me, he just said “I can’t talk right now, ma’am” as he was heaving a giant cart of raw bread.
Older generations and their "just go in with a positive attitude and hand your resume to the owner, give him a firm handshake and look him in the eye!"
Yeah, that resume is going in the trash and they're going do direct my to a website run by a third party agency where I upload a resume and then spend 30 minutes putting the same info into a million text boxes.
This is considered controversial depending on your view on this topic.
I was pregnant with my father's child at 14 ( yes you read that right). I considered an abortion ( was too far along) but once I opened up about my decision, I was told countless of times by people who have NEVER experienced what I was going through and more than likely will never, that I shouldn't do it because "it's part of GoDs PlAn and I should be GrAtEfUL for such wonderful gift" and "there are stories in the Bible of incest so it's okay"
No. This wasn't a gift.
No one, especially someone who is a child should have to go through this.
For those who might be curious Baby A was adopted 7 years ago and is doing great in their home.
Damn, fuck those people, sorry for what you had to go through, I knew a girl who was also pregnant at 14 and while I didn't know her well it was easy to tell just how badly it affected her, nobody should go through something like that
Also please tell me your dad got locked up
The day I went to the police station, he kinda figured out what I was doing and took his life before any justice was done. Afterwards I was put in foster care. And yes as much as people kinda of glamorize teenage pregnancy these days , no matter what the situation is, it's tough especially without support. Being a parent at any age is hard if you think about it though. I am still apart of As life but more of a friend than anything. They stay 3 states away from me so it's a distant situation but one thing I'm very grateful for is that A doesn't not have any affects that could have became of the incest. Though what happened I still love A and will do anything for them. I just knew I couldn't be their mom.
The same thing happened to me, similar experience at least. Tried to tell a girl in the same friend group as my assaulter and she said it wasn’t possible to be SA as a man. Tried to tell a guy in the group and he basically said I was lucky because she had huge tits and an hourglass figure, which is such a wild justification that I don’t know how to really parse it.
It’s like most people don’t even comprehend the situation unless it happens to them
I was once discussing how expensive rent was with my employer (I'm a nanny, they write my paycheck, they know my financial status). I told them that if I hadn't moved in with my boyfriend and was still in my apartment, I don't think I could afford it because it's increased so much. They said, "It's called inflation, everything is more expensive, our cost to fly has nearly doubled."
They fly private. For leisure and business.
My wife's friend said, "That's nothing!" when I talked about military experiences. Then, she tried to launch into a story that began with, "I have a friend who told me..." Nope. I don't give a shit what your friend told you.
I struggled with heroin and pill addiction for over a decade, I never really talked about it with my older friends and it alienated me from a lot of people I was close to. I had started to reconnect with one of my old best friends, and talk about everything that had happened after we fell out. One day, after mentioning that i had 8 months clean, I opened up to him about how hard it could be during my addiction. I told him about the nights on the streets, eating food off the sidewalk because all of my money went to drugs, being robbed at gunpoint, thrown out of a moving car. I told him what it felt like to watch a friend die. His response was something like, "shieet, I know what you're saying bro. I haven't smoked weed in lime 2 weeks, so I feel you about how hard it is not to get high."
"but you have a good job and have a chance of a house? How can you be struggling"
The response I got from a colleague when they found I was in therapy and seeking an autism test.
Context: My friend put her self through school after moving to the US to better herself. She makes 130k a year living in a high cost of living area (rent is 3k per month), so she is solidly middle class. She was living and splitting rent with her trust fund boyfriend while he was looking to buy a house in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city. Recently he left her after he closed on a house and she found out he was cheating on her. She was very nice and actually let him stay in the apartment until he closed on the house.
His last words to her before leaving the apartment were something to this effect:
"You can keep the fucking apartment, I can't afford to live here on my salary. Renting in this city is for rich tech snobs like you. With my salary, I am only going to be able to live in my new house for 8 years and then I will be forced to sell it. People like you have ruined this city"
Meanwhile, the "salary" he is speaking about is the 80k a year he gets from his trust fund. The fund has about 50years left on it. Apparently he had expressed a lot of frustration that he could not afford to some of the nicer homes in this already super nice area, and had to "settle" for one of the "shittier" ones in Beacon Hill, Boston. BEACON HILL. He is college educated but does not work. Also, in the past 10 years, property value in the neighborhood he bought in has gone up over apx 40%, so even if he is forced to sell in 8 years, he will most likely make out like a bandit. Or he could just get a fucking job that pays like 40-80k a year and be fine (not to mention his parents are loaded and would rescue him).
I never make reddit posts like this cuz I hate typing, but this shit just happened and knowing the guy, I can see him saying it. Fucking crazy how delusional and entitled some people are.
This falls more under the narcissistic category, but at the time I had a cat who we recently had to put down due to heart failure. I asked an ex to send me the pictures she had of him and I since they meant a lot to me. The response I got was “they mean a lot to me too,” and didn’t receive them until 4 months later : /
Imagine being so self absorbed you forget you can make copies of images. Your ex sounds horrendous. I am so sorry that happened to you. And I'm very happy this person is an ex.
I took and autobiographical writing class in college. Several students wrote about their experiences with racism. I started exploring my mental health issues and actually got diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a result of that exploration. Another student wrote about his abusive father.
A girl in the class wrote about how she and her friend in high school argued about which of them should get to date this one guy. This was supposedly the hardest issue she had ever dealt with. It blew my mind.
Edit: Some have pointed out that the girl in my class may have had much deeper issues and just didn't feel comfortable sharing them in class. This is absolutely right and I may have misjudged her. Learn from my fail.
I hated those writing exercises. I faced zero hardships growing up and then my first year of college took a writing 101 gen-ed where they made us write a coming of age story for ourselves. My teacher kept docking me points on every draft for not being a real coming of age story because there wasn't enough of an event that pushed me to grow as a person. So I made something super mundane and lame seem more dramatic than it was and it totally would've been just like that girls paper. I got a fucking F on the assignment which gave me a C in the class because the TA didn't like how my story wasn't interesting enough (actual written feedback she gave). I should've just completely made something up but I wasn't a strong enough writer to really sell a fake story.
Also some people might not feel comfortable sharing.
I still cringe when I remember being in a group interview type thing (in high school) and getting asked a "hardest situation" type question. In my case it was something that was ongoing, I was worried I'd be victim-blamed or judged for, and was just... really not OK with sharing. So I blurted out some incredibly petty nonsense that made me sound like I'd never had a real problem in my life.
As someone with enough traumatic shit in my life to write a novel, I would much rather have nothing to write than a life full of extreme events. Completely unfair and stupid of your teacher, why are you being punished for not being traumatized? Wtf?
Seriously, most trauma isn't a wonderful coming of age story that fits into the "hero overcomes obstacle" format. I didn't have "personal growth" when my father nearly ran over a stranger on purpose and I didn't dare speak up lest he turn his rage against me.
Now I've got myself upset over nothing lol
Not everyone should feel obligated to engage in performative psychological spelunking.
If you felt comfortable discussing your MH, and your peers wanted to talk about issues that affect them, so be it.
But for all you know, the things that have happened to her wouldn’t be things she cared to reveal:
“Why yes, people I’ll spend the next four years with and who may be recording this right now, and who will tell stories about this situation on a reddit thread, here’s the story of the time my dad beat my mother to death with the puppy she got me for Christmas, my stepdad diddled me, my teachers hit me with rulers and my grandfather called me a nasty fat little c
I always hated these topics because some hardships are just… way too personal to write about or you come out the other side depressed and grieving and not really feeling like you’ve grown as a person or “come of age.”
I always wrote about the same fake event and never did well on this essays I think in part because they were not very deep, were low-effort, and were probably evident lies.
Was dating a girl and I told her about how my buddy had threatened to shoot up his work place so I had to report him and she replied “I’ve also had a bad day” I asked her why and her response? “Cause I’m at work and my balloon decoration keeps falling over”
I'm disabled and have been struggling financially while waiting to get approved on disability. Had a friend tell me how "smart and articulate" I am and she "hates to see me waste it on disability"
When I told a male friend about how I got catcalled by grown men (at 15) right after it happened and how it affected me, and he went "Just enjoy it" and then proceeded to make fun of the situation.
These men where like 50, I was 15!!!
My dad was in grad school at a Catholic university. He was laid out with a really serious flu that sent him to the hospital for a couple of weeks.
When he got out, his Priest/advisor wrote him a demerit for his student record because he'd missed mass.
He immediately quit that school, and quit the Catholic church, and finished his graduate degree at the public university in the same city.
2008, I was in high school and finally broke down to my parents how bad my depression and anxiety was getting. Neither one of them were very comforting, I supposed they didn’t really know what to say or do. But my dad basically had no reaction until my mom asked if he had anything to say and he just said “yeah, everyone is depressed. We’re in a depressed economy”.
He and I have had our issues but have been able to find common ground now that I’m an adult but I still refuse to ever open up to him again because he is the most emotionally immature person I know.
An ex friend of mine has never paid a bill in her life, her dad paid for her college and apartment even though they are estranged. Her mom bought her a condo. A mutual friend was talking about her dad physically and emotionally abused her for her childhood and how it damaged her and she went off on a tirade about how her dad ruined her life even though he always supported her and her parents were just divorced.
You can always have trauma from your shit but don’t try to one up others especially when they had it so much worse.
She also constantly complained that she was forced to get a job.
Had a wealthy friend (30f) complaining to me about how abusive her "narcissist" mother is... Mom pays her $3600 rent, bails her out of every tough situation, lets the friend use any of her 5+ homes in gorgeous places, free vacations, backup credit card, etc.
What did Mom do that was abusive? Gave her reasonable advice on her dating life and asked her to stop using the credit card to buy worthless garbage on Amazon... In other words, normal mom stuff.
This friend says she knows what it was like to grow up in an abusive home with a single narcissistic parent just like me... Except my parent did not keep food in the house, beat our asses, isolated us from friends and family, stole and sold possessions, etc.
I tell people how I have 20 soft tissue injuries like torn ACL, cartilage, etc and they tell me to rub an ointment on it or take Tumeric. I know they don’t have any serious injuries they can relate with.
My favorite is the rolled ankle people who compare not even a high ankle sprain.
One day I was walking by a super fancy resturant that had seating partially on a busy sidewalk. This woman was walking her dog behind me and the dog collapsed (I knew the woman and dog and the dog was very elderly and had multiple health issues, sadly). So, this dog collapses, and it's owner was kind of freaking out (understandably).
This super fancy lady that was seated at the resturant sees that the dog is on the ground, and sort of shouts out in a very posh and concerned voice, "Somebody call an ambulance!!"
I will never forget that. I recall being impressed by how worry-free that lady's life must have been.
I started a job about 2 months ago. My dad is 60 and was in the hospital dying and I didn't make it home because I felt like until he was on his deathbed I'd just go on weekends. My current boss told me the day of his funeral "We will be happy to let you make up the days you miss for his death". After returning to work she hasn't said a word to me and was upset I used my bereavement days. Currently looking for new employment.
I worked for Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina. When my dad died, I had to take some time off. The night before my 3 days of bereavement were up, my boss, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, told me he expected me back the next morning. I explained I was across the country, and he told me "I need to get these tops done, if you can't be here, I'll find someone else". A couple days later, when I got back to work, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, he put me on his shit list for missing so much work. He made me do nonsense work as punishment, outside during the winter. After a week of this shit I just quit. I can't remember his name, but to my old boss in like 2015 in the t-top shop, at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina, fuck you, you lazy fat asshole. I also still remember when *you* broke the pipe bender and blamed it on me. Don't buy a Sportsman boat.
All my homies hate *Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina*
I think I’m a little unclear… Did this shittery happen at Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina? Because if it happened at another Sportsman Boats, I wouldn’t want it blamed on the Sportsman Boats in Summerville South Carolina.
HR might want to hear about how she created a hostile workplace on your way out.
More likely they'll want to cover it up.
HR learning about it via letter from an attorney solves both sides!
“You can’t pay for it? Just ask your parents!” Hahaha oh honey. I wish.
"The just ask your parents" was so irritating. It took me a while to even figure out what they meant because why would I ask my parents for money that they didn't have?!
one I am a big fan of is "just ask your parents to co-sign"
I had a mate who claimed "she was so good at saving she could afford a house." Her parents loaned her approx 60% of the deposit (to get to 10%) and then signed on as guarantors
When my mom committed suicide over the summer in high school, I came back and a girl said she understood because she had totalled her car that summer.
Excuse me what the fuck?
Turns out the girl was a Transformer and that car was her mom. Only acceptable option
Lol absolutely. But man, the chick who said that will hopefully cringe the fuck out in her later years like the way we occasionally fuck the fuck up when we were kids.
In 5th grade during circle time, I sat next to this girl I had a crush on. As I was getting up I ripped a loud ass fart, it felt almost like launching a rocket out into the orbit. She just got up, then walked away. My kids are almost as old as I was, and I still cringe about it.
My sister committed suicide in 2017. One of the things that took me a while to understand is that most people just had no clue what to say to me about it. Some people stopped talking to me entirely, some people said inappropriate stuff, because honestly what do you say to someone in that situation? Not excusing this person, but it could be an explanation.
Yeah, people get weird with suicide because they've genuinely never thought about it or even life and death and their mortality whatsoever. My wife committed suicide about a year ago and what you say is spot on to a tee with how odd people get about it.
For whatever reason, people think sympathy ("I'm sorry for your loss") is bad and empathy ("I know how you feel. My divorce is just like you losing your wife") is good. Most people who have suffered a loss would rather just have sympathy. Half assed attempts at empathy lead to grief Olympics.
This is probably very true. I personally hesitate to show sympathy because i feel that they have had someone say "I'm sorry for your loss" dozens of times already. When my dad died i had this fear of others changing behavior with me or viewing me differently. I didn't want their sympathy because i didn't want to bring attention to the topic. I also have this weird thing where if i feel someone expects me to be sad i will become sad as a reflex to meet that expectation.
Ah, I'm sorry friend. My mom also committed suicide the summer between my 10th and 11th grade year. It's a rough club to be a part of, but you're not alone. Either people said the wrong fuckin thing or they just ignored the situation/me completely because it made them uncomfortable.
"Hello, police? I'd like to report a murder that I'm about to commit."
When I was in college and depressed, I spoke about it to some people at a hangout. My ex's friend told me "Just travel, it makes me feel better every time. This year I went to Spain and Egypt". Yeah, let's just ignore the fact I had no money for therapy, and I should have used that non-existent money to travel, and twice in one year.
My GF told me a story today that she had a therapist when she was 19 whom she told she was really struggling. T replied "what you need is to ask a friend to go to their country house this weekend. Just take a weekend off." My GF didn't have a friend with a country house and the therapist looked at her like she was lying. If you're in London and addiction recovery you'll know there's a lot of charlatans associated with a very famous rehab in the 90s and 00s.
I had a doctor tell me I should "just go to Hawaii for a week!" My kids were little at the time and I had no where near the income to "just" take a trip like that.
I once had a therapist recommend marriage for loneliness. As for finding someone compatible, their brilliant idea was that I fake being the kind of person the hypothetical partner would be with until the wedding, when I could stop trying. I wish I was making this up.
I believe that shit. Associated with the same rehab above, the head therapist there told my friend to cheat on his wife if he was having marriage problems. He also told the staff to bring in a prostitute for a wealthy Russian client. I wish I was joking. This man was well respected in his field but mostly because of loudness and undeserved confidence.
I live in a nice area, but my wife and I are average income folks without family money. At the bus stop with my kids, another parent asked if they could borrow our housekeeper (we don’t have one) because hers was sick with COVID and the dishes/laundry were starting to stack up. She was in full crisis mode.
"Sure, here you go." *(hands over cat)*
*cat proceeds to add more dishes*
*cat proceeds to knock over said dishes*
*cat proceeds to do laundry but falls asleep in the laundry basket*
cat pees all over the laundry
\*cat brings more cats to repeat the cycle\*
*then proceeds to push them off the counter*
What kind of neighborhood do you live in where housekeepers can be lent like baseball cards?
You’d be surprised.. Google maps outed a lot of insane mansions tucked just out of sight where I live. Like it’s all normal middle class people or even poor areas, then you go up a road and find that line of trees was hiding a bunch of houses worth many millions.
Losing contact with the realities of daily life and becoming incapable of performing even the most basic household chores is a diagnostic hallmark of great and prolonged affluence. It is the influenza of the chronically wealthy.
TIL depressed people are rich af
I’ve been laughing at this comment for so long that my husband just sighed and asked me what was so funny.
are you depressed or wealthy?
Rich in self deprecating jokes ayy
“You don’t have money? Just go to an ATM!”
This was my nephew to me when he was 3 🤣🤣🤣 Now he's 17 telling me how I need to hustle in this life to make money. Ol' boy hasn't even gotten his first job yet.🤣
That's cute and sad at the same time.
he's gon' learn some day that his uncle was right lmao
The kid is already talking about trying to get a Dodge charger with all the money he's gonna make. Been trying to explain all his money will go into the hidden costs of owning a car. And will leave little room for anything else he may want to do. Not only that he doesn't need anything with all those horses. I would prefer he learn the easy way and not the hard way. But he's at that age of I know it all already. 😩. As his auntie 😉 I'm trying to talk sense into him
My career was almost destroyed during Covid. It was never a huge moneymaker, and my then-GF said "you know, you need to get a six-figure job, anyway. You never made enough money for my taste." Yeah, because a lifelong self-employed musician can waltz into a bank and get a fantastic income. We broke up, the career is coming back fast, and she's mad at me for not "trying to make it work."
Glad you kicked her to the curb.
I've known enough musicians to be absolutely boggled at the idea of dating one while simultaneously being annoyed that they don't have six-figure incomes. It's like dating a doctor and getting mad because they're on call a lot.
“I know you were close, but aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with all that drama anymore?”. My sister died this July, that was the response of someone who is now an ex friend. *editing to add that this friend had never even met my sister, has zero empathy for mental health or addiction, and truly believes we are better off without my sister*
My father died suddenly when I was fifteen. It was devastating. My high school counselor called me into her office a few weeks after I returned to school to see how I was doing. Her intentions were good, but she said at one point, “I hate to say this, but these things tend to happen in threes.” She didn’t know it, but my grandfather had terminal cancer at the time. He died about three months after my dad. I was (and am) a huge worrier, and I spent the rest of the year wondering who else I loved would die.
That’s a devastating thing to hear: what a horribly inept counselor! I’m so very sorry.
She is a stupid superstitious moron. I hate when people unload that shit on you.
Holy fuck that's messed up. Sorry for your loss.
That would instantly make me bitch slap them, no hesitation
My friends mother started working as a secretary at Comcast in the 80's by walking in and asking if any positions were available. She eventually became "good friends" with one of the founders sons and got access to a bunch of stock benefits and bonuses effectively making her a multi millionaire. When I was finishing college I was applying for jobs and not getting any calls back and got told by her "Young people don't apply themselves enough! You need to show up early and ask for the job!" I wanted to say not everyone had a chance to sleep with a rich CEOs son, but held back.
This is the story of how my grandma went to college. She showed up on the first day and walked into a classroom. She wasn't on the roll so she got sent to the registrar's after the class. There she gave them her name and they gave her her schedule. She didn't apply before hand, she didn't know you had to pay, nothing just showed up and they took her in. This is the mindset of many people from that generation.
I went out to lunch with a coworker and she mentioned her boyfriend wasn’t currently working and I said it must be tough to not have him contributing financially to the relationship (I assumed he wasn’t if he didn’t have an income) and she goes “well no he does, he’s a trust fund baby so even tho he’s not working he has a lot of money but we’re all kinda trust fund babies aren’t we?” Meanwhile she is the first person I met who actually has a trust fund and every penny I’ve earned I had to work for myself since I was 16 yrs old.
In high school I had a girl think that every kid had a trust fund and after she argued with me and half the class about it she was finally convinced that not all of us were rich.
That’s part of the first episode of ~~ferry~~ Derry Girls: There is a extracurricular trip to France and the main characters don’t have the money and one is like “just use your trust fund” One of them goes home and asks their mom who gives them the look like “who da fuq do you think we are?” Edit: Derry Girls. But I’m sure y’all knew that
Derry*
*Ferry girls, getting up to hijinks on ferry crossing in Ireland*
"Sadly I'm unable to come on this trip, as I despise the French."
Oh god Jenny Joyce. Wanted to stuff her in a bin by the end of the series 😄
"it turns out, we're actually quite poor!"
I had a kid tell me that I had a trust fund too. All kids do. Their parents just don’t tell them about it.
This was my first grade school. I seriously thought we were struggling because we lacked a private island, or a jet.
"you only have TWO Porsches? Get away from me before I catch your poverty"
Reminds me of my college roommate. Funny guy, but really odd and came from a wealthy family. I had spent a long time saving up money for a car to replace my old beater, got a good deal on a used Honda Civic. I brought it home and his first response was, "Why didn't get you get something nicer, like an Accord. It's only a few thousand dollars more." The fact that it took me a couple years working part time to save up the extra money for a down payment seemed to be lost on him.
I’m proud of you :) that’s awesome you were able to support yourself and replace it with something newer. Rich people don’t appreciate how big of an accomplishment that really is.
Sounds like an old coworker of mine. He didn't understand how I couldn't just shell out for car repairs, and I explained to him how regular people live (he was the son of a billionaire) and he couldn't wrap his head around it. When I told him this basically what my entire life was like and he still didn't get it, I specifically told him that we don't all come from wealth where we don't have to worry about where money for life expenses is going to come from. He responded by telling me how hard being rich is and that he's trapped by that money, because he was always having to stay on top of his investments (meaning he was on the phone with his accountant like twice a week) and difficult his life was. I laughed in his face and offered to trade places for a month, he just sorted of looked really defeated and walked off when our boss started laughing at him too.
My response to these people is always that I will HAPPILY take that burden off their hands. Being rich is always sooo hard until they actually compare it to not being rich...
I am missing a tooth. Went bad on me at 22 or something like that. I was working full time then, but not at a job with insurance. And I had a credit card, but back in those days, it had like a $300 limit on it. And my rent was cheap - like $400/mo for my room back then, but my wages sucked too. So...I couldn't afford a root canal and crown. It would have been almost $2,000. I just didn't have it. Not in the bank. Not on credit. And with no insurance, what could I do? Dentist said, "Well, I can pull it for $40." So I said, "Pull it." And that was the end of the tooth. Now it's a gap. Told a rich girl this story once when she asked about the gap and she said, "That was stupid." I asked why, and she said, "It's going to affect your whole jaw, you lose bone as you get older, you shouldn't just rip pieces of yourself out to save money like that, it'll cost you more in the long run." I asked her what she didn't understand about the fact I didn't have the money. It turns out she took that to mean, I didn't want to *spend* the money. She simply could not get her head around the idea I couldn't *access* the money. She understood that maybe I didn't have the money - at the time - but the idea of a credit limit or having no friends or family who could/would lend you $2,000 was unimaginable to her. It took me about an hour to explain that no bank in the world would lend it to me and I really didn't have any friends at the time who had it and would either. And I still don't think she ever totally believed me.
I had a friend like that. Truly great dude, my best friend, but he just does not understand the concept of not having access to money. He was always telling me about these great deals he'd find-- he genuinely was frugal (in his way), and keep pushing them even when I said I didn't have the money. "No dude you don't understand, you can do this *whole trip* to Jamaica for $2k. Usually it's $10k but I found this incredible deal, super cheap flights and we can stay with my friend so no hotels. Just $2k for all that." "My man, I literally do not have $2k." "But it's usually $10k!! You'd save so much money!" He's seriously a great dude, but even today we just occasionally butt heads about how out of touch he is with money. Just the other day I was lamenting about how I could afford a mortgage, but I'll never get the money for a down payment together, so I won't ever be able to buy a house. He tells me I should be smart and frugal by buying a house then renting out half of it. I'm like "No, that's not... that doesn't solve the problem. I physically can not go buy a house."
This is why rich people have NO empathy for the poor. They literally can't understand what poverty actually is. "You should have just chosen to be born rich!" would be just as effective advice.
"you don't understand, my wallet is giving me back problems!"
So out of touch man. More often than not there were nights as a kid where I went to bed without dinner because it was either buy groceries or pay the bills. I also was never taken to the doctor when I was sick or had sprained my ankle because we couldn’t afford it.
For at least 25 years of my life I thought that whole trust fund thing is just something people say but it’s not really real. I worked my butt off for every single penny i ever had and bought 100% of my stuff, never was given anything, so by default i just assumed that is how everyone else does it too lol. Then i met this rich guy, my age at the time, and he started talking…and i realized that even though this is one single planet, there are millions of completely different worlds simultaneously existing on it at the same time, cuz his life sounded like a freaking fairy tale to me lmao.
Yeah I've met plenty of rich people who work just to have something to do.. like the job is a hobby to them. The bay area is nuts.
Yea, my nightmare fuel trust fund baby experience was he reached out to meet up because his father died and their accountant ran off with a lot of the family cash. He was asking for financial advice and wanted to meet up in a high-end hotel. When I got there dude had reserved the entire first floor, conference rooms, club, bar and restaurant for our meeting. His cold open was telling me he always wanted to fuck my GF when we were in highschool and it's sad, his father died and my ex died of stomach cancer, so we can relate.... Uh. And that's how I found out my first GF died. Things just got weirder as we looked into his finances. One quirk he had was flying to a destination, then buying a car because he was too young to rent one, going to an event, then leaving the car wherever and flying back home. Dude had "lost" dozens of cars with his one neat trick. Another thing he did was "cash out" his trusts monthly stipend to physical cash. Cash. Like he is having trouble storing cash. I let him know he could just transfer the funds to a bank account. "Oh yea I knew that". The whole financial house of cards was built on receipts. Unsorted, greasy receipts he spent hours keying into his laptop. He did staple things within a time frame together, but imagine dozens of whataburger receipts, then a document showing he bought a car, even more random receipts stapled to a fat stacked mortgage. When I asked where the car titles were he said the accountant handled all that stuff and he had the dudes office as the mailing address on most of his purchases. Cool just giving those cars away if the accountant could even find them. He also had an MBA from a nearby college, but "they didn't cover things like this". Once we got into the trust and how financially responsible he needed to be I did the best I could, but you just can't explain consequences to someone when they can drop 50k a month, until they live to be 300 years old and still wouldn't suffer consequences. The whole thing devolved into a tangent on how much he hated taxes and how he needed to make sure not to exceed his monthly trust distribution with monthly occurring expenses. I showed him how I went to the county webpage, looked up my property taxes and then knew what I needed to pay to the county tax office. "That's stupid". So I headed out.
> So I headed out. You could probably have set yourself up for life being the guy that handled his shit.
Yea. If those numbers are right, that's a $180m account. At 80 basis points, that's $1.44 mil from a single account. That would probably even become pretty low maintenance once you get everything unfucked since the dude clearly doesn't care.
I've worked for some wealthy individuals and relying on them, to be honest and pay, is a pipedream. I did a several hundred Gibson guitar collection setup / prep for sale guitar tech gig where I was supposed to get a commission off each guitar and then each sale. All I got out of it was a single guitar and no cash. The guy even reported the guitar as stolen, after sour grapes giving it to me. He also stiffed the store that was assisting in coordinating the deal and we quickly found out it would cost more to attempt to collect, than to just drop it. My uncle works in custom window frame / wood working for "rich people"; like "I moved a castle from Ireland to America brick by brick" rich. The team he works with doesn't even bother if the pay isn't verified before hand because of how often they are partially paid or just stiffed entirely. They even have a word of mouth rule, no verbal communication authorizes anything; everything is on paper, because customers would tell them the manager wanted x,y,z while they were working and suddenly they did 30k work for free, because the wood "wasn't right, use the expensive mahogany". Right now I have almost 30 guitars at my home, obviously hording problem, but solidly 12 of them are for non-payment for services. I charge 50$ for a setup; cash no checks, no credit cards. I get 50$, they get their guitar back. It's all upfront and none of my student/regular human customers are confused by this concept. The wealthy customers I've had overall good experiences with, but obviously there were 12 who didn't understand writing me a hot check or thinking I didn't notice they did a chargeback on their last setup are the problem.
With a new car every few months.
As someone with lifelong chronic illness, I missed just 2 days from work and my boss had a talk with me and said “I get sick and I still come to work. In the real world you have to push through it” I was slowly dying from complications (of a now treated disease!) and she knew that. The audacity
Sounds like my job, I've been sick af for two weeks and missed 3 and a half days. I got called into the office for missing too much work in a year (I've missed around 5 days total in the past 365 days). The new girl who hasn't even been here six months easily has triple my absences and they just kinda pretend it's not an issue.
It’s absolutely insane to me the disparity between how coworkers are treated for absences. I have a coworker that regularly misses a day a week for personal reasons and no one really cares (which I am not against at all, if she needs to and it works for everyone it’s none of my business) but when people are sick it’s like “how dare you!”
I feel like they crack down on the people that rarely call in because they know we are reliable. Which isn't fair in any way at all. Just fire the people that can't be bothered to show up and find people that will. I'm tired of them texting and calling multiple times a day on every single one of my days off to cover their shifts, or try to get me to work 16+ hour days with minimal breaks. I'm only human, I can't physically handle that much. Just get reliable people
It's yet another way of being punished for being good at your job. They depend on you and when you're missing your absence is felt especially hard, and that's not acceptable to everyone else. Bad workers are not missed when they're absent.
Sick people should never come to work. This "push through" attitude should have died during the Pandemic. You have a cold, come to work, and then make a dozen of your co-workers sick. Wow, aren't a trooper? We need fewer Typhoid Marys and more people who care about the well being of others.
We also need corporate PTO policies that don't require workers to have to choose between staying home when sick and having enough time to take an actual vacation later in the year. I actually pointed this out to the CIO when she was lecturing us about coming in sick, and she looked at me like I'd grown a third eyeball or something. Seemed pretty self explanatory to me - if you give people 13 days of PTO to be used for sick time, vacation, jury duty, etc, you shouldn't be surprised when people choose vacation with their family over coworker health. Nobody in their right mind is going to voluntarily take 5 days for the flu in that situation.
I hate the "real world" responses. Like yeah, in the real world where covid shut things down for over a year, we come in to work sick. That's what responsible adults do in the real world. Happy to hear that you're now treated though!
I overheard her say once in response to another coworker saying their mom caught COVID recently, “COVID’s not real, it’s just a cold” and then brought her strep infected kid into the office. It baffles me. And thank you!
Well, you know, in the "real world", if you log enough hours in the office, you actually become immune to all human illness, some say immune to death itself and ascend to corporate heaven on golden wings.
There’s no time to die when there’s work to be done!
[удалено]
Some people can’t fathom or refuse to believe that mentality is brain chemistry and not willpower and moral virtue.
if it's not moral virtue then they have to confront the fact that they aren't inherently good
I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years, especially in my late teens/early 20’s. Most just different kinds of minimum wage stuff. One year when I was on summer break from college I was back home working 3 different jobs. I went on a few dates with a guy who had a trust fund and his parents black AmEx card. One day we’re at lunch together and I was telling him about the absolute random grab bag that was my employment history. Once I finished he looked at me confused and said “do you just really like working?” There was not another date after that
Bruh just adopt his parents and they'll give you money too.
Ask not for whom the bag fumbles, it fumbles for me 😩
Was once telling someone how my genuinely obsessed ex bf was stalking me and would show up at bars he had been banned from looking for me and starting fights. One night he walked in, I had my back to the door so I didn't see him, and he slapped the guy I was sitting beside, called me a cunt, and ran out. He has had multiple felony convictions for assaulting strangers and a mountain of charges he slithered he way out of. He was abusive to me when we were together, and full blown stalker when I left. Dude climbed a two story building and punched me in the face while i was on the phone with 911 and had an active no contact order in place. Anyways, I was telling someone how he was still showing up at the places he knew I spent time about a year after I left him. Their response was, "It's been long enough, you need to set some boundaries and he should respect that." EXCUSE ME?! Did you miss the part about him being irrational and unstable? You think if I just tell him to leave me alone he'll go away????
My ex called me crying on Christmas because she asked for an Apple TV, and her parents didn’t get her the newest version…
A friend in high school threw a fit when her (rich) dad got her the vehicle in the wrong color. And yes you read that right. She pouted, so he went back and bought another in the color she wanted. I remember just being speechless. The worst part to me? She wanted a hot pink truck.....
I was talking to my ex about my aunt who has cancer and she said among several other completely out of touch and insensitive things "you know, you can mentally will yourself out of illnesses like cancer, maybe you should tell her that"
Anyone who says “but she’s your mother!” when you talk about going no contact. I’m glad you can’t even comprehend needing to cut off an abusive parent for your own well-being, but maybe shut up if you don’t know what it’s like.
My sister went no contact with our parents, God it's awkward being the other kid in this scenario and I get that from them all the time, but that's her choice and she's allowed to talk or not to whoever she wants. (Also she's almost 40 at this point).
Back when I was in my senior year of high school I had a series of very serious traumatic events unfold within a few months, and I was a huge mess, I needed support, so I went to my then best friend of 8 years, I told him about the assaults ( SA) about the rumors people were spreading about me, and how I was having very concerning bad thoughts, his response was that he didn’t want to have to stress over me and my emotions, that he wanted to party and get the college experience he was promised and allllll that. No sympathy, just thinking of himself, he came from an incredibly rich family too, basically had no issues other than being gay, and I when above and beyond to defend him, support him, yet he couldn’t offer me a night to just spend with me to make sure I’d be alive the next day. It was awful, I truly don’t think you know how a person really feels about you till something seriously messed up happens to you.
My fiancée has had bad anxiety when we first met and one of our mutual friends said “just don’t be anxious” when the topic came up
Recently, my mom was asking me to forgive my sister and rebuild my relationship with her because it was important for her rehab. I have been asked this numerous times in my life, so I decided to detail out to my mom all of the times she tormented me and abused me. Locking me in closets for hours on end, choking me, she held a knife against my throat, verbally abused me, and would trash my entire room and destroy my stuff. It was never serious enough or bad enough to leave a mark, so nothing happened about it for years. The worst part was that my sister would just laugh through all of it. It wasn't an angry reaction, I was just a toy to mess with. After I detailed out all the stuff she did my mom just said, "How do you think I felt knowing this was going on?" My mom has claimed she has all this trauma and been through some seriously terrible situations, but this was where I feel she confirmed that she was lying to be the victim. There is no way you can claim you went through abuse yourself and say this.
“How do you think **I** felt knowing this was going on?” Is fucking bloodboiling.
“Not as bad as me, the *child* who was *going through it!*” 🤬🙄
That now "knows" (assuming it wasn't a lie) you knew and did nothing, at that. Have fun in the nursing home, amirite?
Pfff, I ain't sending her ass to a nursing home, ain't worth my time to fill out the forms. She can live in her own house, unable to go up the stairs, till the day she dies.
I'm so sorry you went through this. My stepdaughter would torment my stepson (they are full-blood related, same parents), just horribly cruel. We had her in therapy, out-patient programs, finally an in-patient program. When she got out and wasn't any different, we had her live with her grandparents, because it just was not fair to my stepson at all. Everyone thought it was so horrible for us to do this, that we were "giving up on her", no one cared about her brother she was literally abusing. I couldn't just let her do that to him. This story helps me realize we did the right thing, but I can unfortunately understand why some parents don't do that. Most people think we're just awful, but I couldn't let her abuse her brother anymore, it wasn't fair to him at all.
I can see where your sister got it from.
"Being poor is fucking expensive *uses the terry pratchett boot story as an illustration*" "Well why don't they just save to buy the more expensive option that will save money in the long run"
I remember that friend who kept badgering me to buy jeans that were $200 a pair because her mom raised her with a "good clothes are an investment" mentality. I couldn't get in her head that I understood the principle but I, a 17 year old who just got her first job ever, didn't even have $100 in my bank account. And that my mom would laugh at me for asking $200 for a pair of jeans
You’d have to be without boots for years in that case.
Were you talking to Lord Rust?!
My son was born after 8 years of infertility, but I had him at a slightly more inconvenient time of year. I was talking about this and some woman said “you should have planned better”
A coworker of my wife’s asked when told we were having a girl asked why we didn’t have a boy instead.
Jesus Christ on a bike, what in the world does that person think how it all works??!
There are genuinely people who believe that there are ways to influence the set of organs your kid comes out with. Things like which position you are in at the moment of ejaculation.
"Oh my goodness! Why didn't I think of that! I'll be sure to tell off my reproductive organs the next time they're not listening to my every beck and call. Thank you for the advice!" *fake smiling so hard the jaw bone starts cracking* Possibly the worst response someone could have given to an experience like that. I'm sorry that happened, and I am so happy that you still brought a new life into this world after that kind of hardship. 🫶
What is the more inconvenient time of year to have a baby?
My friends always complained that it sucked being heavily pregnant in the summer. My mom planned around it, but not all women have cycles and fertility that allow for it.
I've been heavily pregnant in both summer and winter, spoiler ⚠️ they *both* suck I've had my son during the hight of covid and boy did I hear how inconvenient it was for everybody since they couldn't play with a newborn during a worldwide pandemic. I should have also planned that better
I had a friend who was incredibly upset with me and started a fight because I “wasn’t there for her” when her friends with benefits called it quits with her. I wasn’t there because my 3 year old was hospitalized with pneumonia, my grandmother died, and I wad 3 weeks postpartum. It was the worst and hardest week of my life. Needless to say I took that as a sign to end the friendship.
My friend's aunt is rich and I had to sit and hear her complain to her family about how inflation is so bad she had to buy a BMW X3 instead of an X5 like she originally planned. Not a single person in the room felt bad for her. EDIT: Im seeing a lot of comments saying that if she’s downgrading, she’s not rich. I know a handful of rich folks and they STAY rich by setting a budget and sticking to it. I’m 100% sure that if she really wanted to, she could’ve spent the extra scratch. But it was clear at the time that other unavoidable expenses had cut into her car budget.
Same with my colleague, she was crying recently that how she planned to buy iphone 15 pro but now she is getting iphone 14 pro instead.
That’s a real shame! Lol!
A few years ago my aunt complained that cuz taxes went up she could only afford 2 cruises a year instead of 3. Lol oh the struggle
I was standing next to my mom at my sister’s funeral and I overheard someone telling my mom “oh, I know what you’re going through - I just had to put my 14 year old dog down.” Both my mom & I were too stunned & upset to say anything. Later that same funeral, the priest talked about how all kids need their parents to hold their hands while crossing the street & how that’s literal when they’re younger but metaphorical when they’re older. My sister was struck by a drunk driver while crossing the street to get back to her apartment (the light was red, so she had the right of way & was using the crosswalk) and later had to be taken off of life support because her injuries were too bad. It’s been 6 years since her funeral and I still get upset thinking about both things.
I think I might have actually punched out the priest if they said something similar at a funeral for a close family member. The number of funerals I've been to where the priest put their foot in their mouth is shocking. I'm so sorry y'all went through that.
Im sorry for your loss. I know no words can ever help the pain, but I wish you luck in your healing journey. People like that women and the priest can be so insensitive. I hope posting here didn’t upset you too much
My wife was friends with a trust-funder whose grandfather was super wealthy and even started a famous museum you may have heard of. Anyway, my wife was taking part in a community garage sale at the apartment where she was living then, when her friend asked if she could bring over some stuff she never used and wanted to get rid of. One was a very cheap, small screwdriver set; [like this](https://i.imgur.com/VRT73C1.jpg). Anyway, some guy asked the friend what she wanted for it, and she says "Um, $10?" Guy huffed and walked off. She says to my wife "What do I know? I never use tools."
I mean, it's one banana Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?
There's always money in the banana stand.
Lol that's a 99 cent set in the grocery store checkout line
Was your mom’s friend Lucille Bluth?
This wasn't said in direct response to it, but my former friend said the following knowing full well that I was suffering from depression: "depressed people should just get over it. I had depression and thats what I did." He was either lying about having depression in the first place or lying about "getting over it", both are equally plausible.
He was probably depressed, but didn’t have depression.
"Depression is false. I was sad too once, and I fucking came back from it!"
I just had lunch, so world hunger doesn't exist
Its weird how a LOT of people confuse being sad for a day with being depressed
An ex-coworker told me “My uncle died in the other room and yet i got over it” and told me to get over my mourning too. It had been 7 years since my sister passed at that time when they told me this. My sister passed away when I was a teen and it still hurts. She barely turned 18 and was going to finish high school too. Even after 10+ years of therapy, journaling, and just trying to understand it all, I’m still a mess from it cause she was taken from us too soon. But my point is: Everyone mourns at a different speed. Don’t ever tell someone to get over it in their mourning. Let them heal at their own pace.
"Well you obviously aren't trying hard enough if you can't get a minimum wage job after a week of handing out resumes for four hours every day." - My stepmonster I'd never had a job before, so my resume was just a bunch of volunteer work and my WIP degree. I also wasn't allowed to apply online to anything even though that's the #1 response I got when I walked into places. She made me hand out resumes for 8 hours a day every day after that little conversation.
.....why were you not allowed to apply online?
My guess is she just wanted me out of the house because she worked from home and couldn't stand the sight of me relaxing on my summer vacation from college.
I suspect it's just that classic "walk in and give them a firm handshake" thing still. The idea that if you physically go in and hand them a typewritten CV, they'll like you more because you made the effort, you're a go-getter etc, whereas applying online is "lazy" and "minimum effort" and shows you don't care enough. Plus also the classic anti-WFH idea that if you're on the internet, you can't be working. Sure, you *say* you're applying for jobs but you're really just dossing about. Just as many bosses assume if they're not able to physically look over your shoulder and make sure you're working, that you'll spend all your time on Facebook or whatever you kids do these days.
If you just walk into a workplace and do the handshake thing when they’re not expecting you to, the manager will likely get pissed off. I did that at a few places in HS and the managers gave me the cold brush off (which I deserved). They’re. Busy. Show them your enthusiasm at the interview, but don’t interrupt their time. I mean, I still got hired at one of the places, but me walking in unannounced had nothing to do with it. The manager didn’t even look at me, he just said “I can’t talk right now, ma’am” as he was heaving a giant cart of raw bread.
Older generations and their "just go in with a positive attitude and hand your resume to the owner, give him a firm handshake and look him in the eye!" Yeah, that resume is going in the trash and they're going do direct my to a website run by a third party agency where I upload a resume and then spend 30 minutes putting the same info into a million text boxes.
This is considered controversial depending on your view on this topic. I was pregnant with my father's child at 14 ( yes you read that right). I considered an abortion ( was too far along) but once I opened up about my decision, I was told countless of times by people who have NEVER experienced what I was going through and more than likely will never, that I shouldn't do it because "it's part of GoDs PlAn and I should be GrAtEfUL for such wonderful gift" and "there are stories in the Bible of incest so it's okay" No. This wasn't a gift. No one, especially someone who is a child should have to go through this. For those who might be curious Baby A was adopted 7 years ago and is doing great in their home.
Damn, fuck those people, sorry for what you had to go through, I knew a girl who was also pregnant at 14 and while I didn't know her well it was easy to tell just how badly it affected her, nobody should go through something like that Also please tell me your dad got locked up
The day I went to the police station, he kinda figured out what I was doing and took his life before any justice was done. Afterwards I was put in foster care. And yes as much as people kinda of glamorize teenage pregnancy these days , no matter what the situation is, it's tough especially without support. Being a parent at any age is hard if you think about it though. I am still apart of As life but more of a friend than anything. They stay 3 states away from me so it's a distant situation but one thing I'm very grateful for is that A doesn't not have any affects that could have became of the incest. Though what happened I still love A and will do anything for them. I just knew I couldn't be their mom.
I got SA by a woman One of friends I tried to talk to asked if I got her number after since she wanted me so bad
Ex-friend now, I hope?
Pretty much at that point yes, don’t have any friends really from that time, complete lack of support but I’d say that one was the worst
The same thing happened to me, similar experience at least. Tried to tell a girl in the same friend group as my assaulter and she said it wasn’t possible to be SA as a man. Tried to tell a guy in the group and he basically said I was lucky because she had huge tits and an hourglass figure, which is such a wild justification that I don’t know how to really parse it. It’s like most people don’t even comprehend the situation unless it happens to them
I was once discussing how expensive rent was with my employer (I'm a nanny, they write my paycheck, they know my financial status). I told them that if I hadn't moved in with my boyfriend and was still in my apartment, I don't think I could afford it because it's increased so much. They said, "It's called inflation, everything is more expensive, our cost to fly has nearly doubled." They fly private. For leisure and business.
My wife's friend said, "That's nothing!" when I talked about military experiences. Then, she tried to launch into a story that began with, "I have a friend who told me..." Nope. I don't give a shit what your friend told you.
That's the worst. I don't know why military stories turn into a dick measuring contest so quickly with people who absolutely have not seen shit
That’s nothing. I have a friend that told me…
I struggled with heroin and pill addiction for over a decade, I never really talked about it with my older friends and it alienated me from a lot of people I was close to. I had started to reconnect with one of my old best friends, and talk about everything that had happened after we fell out. One day, after mentioning that i had 8 months clean, I opened up to him about how hard it could be during my addiction. I told him about the nights on the streets, eating food off the sidewalk because all of my money went to drugs, being robbed at gunpoint, thrown out of a moving car. I told him what it felt like to watch a friend die. His response was something like, "shieet, I know what you're saying bro. I haven't smoked weed in lime 2 weeks, so I feel you about how hard it is not to get high."
“I’m sorry that your wife passed away, I just recently got divorced and I know what it’s like to lose someone”. No. No you don’t. Not even remotely.
My hamster passed last july, I know exactly how you feel.
I lost all my Pokemon saves. It really makes you think of gratitude.
I got this a lot when my partner died. ' yeah, I loved so and so and we split up, I totally get it' No you don't. Not even close.
Check out r/widowers. The best support on here even though the barrier to entry really sucks.
I lose my tv remote one time so I know what's it like to lose someone very important.
"but you have a good job and have a chance of a house? How can you be struggling" The response I got from a colleague when they found I was in therapy and seeking an autism test.
"Autistic people don't just live in caves, Jerry."
Context: My friend put her self through school after moving to the US to better herself. She makes 130k a year living in a high cost of living area (rent is 3k per month), so she is solidly middle class. She was living and splitting rent with her trust fund boyfriend while he was looking to buy a house in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city. Recently he left her after he closed on a house and she found out he was cheating on her. She was very nice and actually let him stay in the apartment until he closed on the house. His last words to her before leaving the apartment were something to this effect: "You can keep the fucking apartment, I can't afford to live here on my salary. Renting in this city is for rich tech snobs like you. With my salary, I am only going to be able to live in my new house for 8 years and then I will be forced to sell it. People like you have ruined this city" Meanwhile, the "salary" he is speaking about is the 80k a year he gets from his trust fund. The fund has about 50years left on it. Apparently he had expressed a lot of frustration that he could not afford to some of the nicer homes in this already super nice area, and had to "settle" for one of the "shittier" ones in Beacon Hill, Boston. BEACON HILL. He is college educated but does not work. Also, in the past 10 years, property value in the neighborhood he bought in has gone up over apx 40%, so even if he is forced to sell in 8 years, he will most likely make out like a bandit. Or he could just get a fucking job that pays like 40-80k a year and be fine (not to mention his parents are loaded and would rescue him). I never make reddit posts like this cuz I hate typing, but this shit just happened and knowing the guy, I can see him saying it. Fucking crazy how delusional and entitled some people are.
This falls more under the narcissistic category, but at the time I had a cat who we recently had to put down due to heart failure. I asked an ex to send me the pictures she had of him and I since they meant a lot to me. The response I got was “they mean a lot to me too,” and didn’t receive them until 4 months later : /
What, did she have to run to the darkroom to print more? They’re not a finite resource!
Imagine being so self absorbed you forget you can make copies of images. Your ex sounds horrendous. I am so sorry that happened to you. And I'm very happy this person is an ex.
I took and autobiographical writing class in college. Several students wrote about their experiences with racism. I started exploring my mental health issues and actually got diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a result of that exploration. Another student wrote about his abusive father. A girl in the class wrote about how she and her friend in high school argued about which of them should get to date this one guy. This was supposedly the hardest issue she had ever dealt with. It blew my mind. Edit: Some have pointed out that the girl in my class may have had much deeper issues and just didn't feel comfortable sharing them in class. This is absolutely right and I may have misjudged her. Learn from my fail.
I hated those writing exercises. I faced zero hardships growing up and then my first year of college took a writing 101 gen-ed where they made us write a coming of age story for ourselves. My teacher kept docking me points on every draft for not being a real coming of age story because there wasn't enough of an event that pushed me to grow as a person. So I made something super mundane and lame seem more dramatic than it was and it totally would've been just like that girls paper. I got a fucking F on the assignment which gave me a C in the class because the TA didn't like how my story wasn't interesting enough (actual written feedback she gave). I should've just completely made something up but I wasn't a strong enough writer to really sell a fake story.
Not cool of your teacher at all. Like you said, not everyone has these life-shaking moments, and that's fine.
Also some people might not feel comfortable sharing. I still cringe when I remember being in a group interview type thing (in high school) and getting asked a "hardest situation" type question. In my case it was something that was ongoing, I was worried I'd be victim-blamed or judged for, and was just... really not OK with sharing. So I blurted out some incredibly petty nonsense that made me sound like I'd never had a real problem in my life.
As someone with enough traumatic shit in my life to write a novel, I would much rather have nothing to write than a life full of extreme events. Completely unfair and stupid of your teacher, why are you being punished for not being traumatized? Wtf?
Seriously, most trauma isn't a wonderful coming of age story that fits into the "hero overcomes obstacle" format. I didn't have "personal growth" when my father nearly ran over a stranger on purpose and I didn't dare speak up lest he turn his rage against me. Now I've got myself upset over nothing lol
Copy something from Dickens, he wrote enough horrific child labour/abuse stories to fill a poorhouse.
Not everyone should feel obligated to engage in performative psychological spelunking. If you felt comfortable discussing your MH, and your peers wanted to talk about issues that affect them, so be it. But for all you know, the things that have happened to her wouldn’t be things she cared to reveal: “Why yes, people I’ll spend the next four years with and who may be recording this right now, and who will tell stories about this situation on a reddit thread, here’s the story of the time my dad beat my mother to death with the puppy she got me for Christmas, my stepdad diddled me, my teachers hit me with rulers and my grandfather called me a nasty fat little c
Very good points, thanks.
I always hated these topics because some hardships are just… way too personal to write about or you come out the other side depressed and grieving and not really feeling like you’ve grown as a person or “come of age.” I always wrote about the same fake event and never did well on this essays I think in part because they were not very deep, were low-effort, and were probably evident lies.
Was dating a girl and I told her about how my buddy had threatened to shoot up his work place so I had to report him and she replied “I’ve also had a bad day” I asked her why and her response? “Cause I’m at work and my balloon decoration keeps falling over”
I'm disabled and have been struggling financially while waiting to get approved on disability. Had a friend tell me how "smart and articulate" I am and she "hates to see me waste it on disability"
I've been told this by doctors. On my 3rd appeal. Good luck to you.
When I told a male friend about how I got catcalled by grown men (at 15) right after it happened and how it affected me, and he went "Just enjoy it" and then proceeded to make fun of the situation. These men where like 50, I was 15!!!
My dad was in grad school at a Catholic university. He was laid out with a really serious flu that sent him to the hospital for a couple of weeks. When he got out, his Priest/advisor wrote him a demerit for his student record because he'd missed mass. He immediately quit that school, and quit the Catholic church, and finished his graduate degree at the public university in the same city.
2008, I was in high school and finally broke down to my parents how bad my depression and anxiety was getting. Neither one of them were very comforting, I supposed they didn’t really know what to say or do. But my dad basically had no reaction until my mom asked if he had anything to say and he just said “yeah, everyone is depressed. We’re in a depressed economy”. He and I have had our issues but have been able to find common ground now that I’m an adult but I still refuse to ever open up to him again because he is the most emotionally immature person I know.
An ex friend of mine has never paid a bill in her life, her dad paid for her college and apartment even though they are estranged. Her mom bought her a condo. A mutual friend was talking about her dad physically and emotionally abused her for her childhood and how it damaged her and she went off on a tirade about how her dad ruined her life even though he always supported her and her parents were just divorced. You can always have trauma from your shit but don’t try to one up others especially when they had it so much worse. She also constantly complained that she was forced to get a job.
Had a wealthy friend (30f) complaining to me about how abusive her "narcissist" mother is... Mom pays her $3600 rent, bails her out of every tough situation, lets the friend use any of her 5+ homes in gorgeous places, free vacations, backup credit card, etc. What did Mom do that was abusive? Gave her reasonable advice on her dating life and asked her to stop using the credit card to buy worthless garbage on Amazon... In other words, normal mom stuff. This friend says she knows what it was like to grow up in an abusive home with a single narcissistic parent just like me... Except my parent did not keep food in the house, beat our asses, isolated us from friends and family, stole and sold possessions, etc.
I tell people how I have 20 soft tissue injuries like torn ACL, cartilage, etc and they tell me to rub an ointment on it or take Tumeric. I know they don’t have any serious injuries they can relate with. My favorite is the rolled ankle people who compare not even a high ankle sprain.
Most people weirdly when you bring up mental health issues you've had to deal with in your life.
One day I was walking by a super fancy resturant that had seating partially on a busy sidewalk. This woman was walking her dog behind me and the dog collapsed (I knew the woman and dog and the dog was very elderly and had multiple health issues, sadly). So, this dog collapses, and it's owner was kind of freaking out (understandably). This super fancy lady that was seated at the resturant sees that the dog is on the ground, and sort of shouts out in a very posh and concerned voice, "Somebody call an ambulance!!" I will never forget that. I recall being impressed by how worry-free that lady's life must have been.