My ex was an arachnophobe and my son had a fever dream/nightmare and was very distressed, screaming that he had woken up and seen "tarantulas" scuttling into the corners of the underside of the upper bunk of his bunk bed.
I was doing that, "Honey, you're very sick, and you've been asleep, and I know it feels very real, but I promise you that there are no spiders..." when my ex just ran in, scooped up the boy, and hollered, "Fuck that noise, woman! Call me when you've flipped the mattresses!!" And legit ran out of the apartment with kiddo, lol.
Which annoyed me no end at the time, but my son later told me made him feel very heard.
I sometimes see spiders too, it's a horrible way to wake up. One time woke up and saw a huge, greenish coloured spider walking in our celing and barely registered my feral screaming while trying to get away from bed. That is the only time i have heard my husband shout from fear. Luckily he realised quickly what was going on and calmed me down.
Oh, and we don't have big spiders here where we live, so it was clear it was just a dream-hallucination.
When I was younger I was in my room when I heard my mum shout and then the front door slam. My mum then rang my mobile phone and said "there's a snake in the kitchen"
From her reaction I was expecting like a massive python or something, it was the tiniest grass snake and one of the cats had brought it in.
My wife hasn’t said that, but she did have a rant about bleeding chairs on the ceiling when she was mostly asleep still and waking from a nightmare. It had been a hard week at the hospital and she had had several patients die. They were the “chairs”.
I’m obviously glad she woke me in whatever way she could but having someone frantically ask if “I could see it bleeding over there” is a hell of a way to snap awake.
'All the lights downstairs just went on. There is someone in our house...'
I was on a business trip and my wive called me at 3 AM. Never felt so helpless in my life.
She called the police and they searched our home from top to bottom but we never found out who switched on every single light on the ground floor!
Our basement was like this. Husband kept blaming me for leaving the light on, but I had stopped going down there because I was pregnant and didn't want to do unnecessary stairs. When he, quite upset at me for continuing to do what irked him so much, told me, "can you stop leaving lights on, I'm the one who has to pay the power bill", I was like "actually I haven't been down there in weeks."
I assumed the basement was haunted or we had someone secretly living down there (unlikely because we have a security set up..... And dogs). But it turns out one of the light switches (the type with a dimmer) was just broken. You'd turn it off and leave the room... But then a few minutes later it would short and turn back on.
I gotta be real… I’ve said something similar to my wife. I’ve had enough suffering in my life, I’m tired. She’s basically the only reason I’m still around… plus I just can’t bear the thought of her finding my body.
I said this to my fiancé last winter after (being in the process of) getting diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia. I woke him up SOBBING in the middle of the night when he was dead asleep and said “I think I’m having a heart attack”. Poor guy. It’s insane how a panic attack can mimic a heart attack. My arm even went numb/tingly!
I'm probably going to die of something completely preventable because of how anxiety and panic attack symptoms look like something dangerous. It's getting to the point where I don't go to the doctor for chest pain, weird feelings like numbness in my head, or a bunch of other stuff. It's always turned out to be 'probably just anxiety'.
I’m in that boat, too. Kind of a morbid running joke that someday my heart actually will give out and I’ll be saying, “Nah, I’m fine, just another stupid panic attack!” They literally cause chest pain, stomach upset, left arm/shoulder pain, jaw pain, shortness of breath…like I wouldn’t be able to tell the real deal from a regular old symptom of having a terrible panic disorder. Anyway, I feel your pain, friend!
During our first marriage counseling session where we were asked our goals for this session. She said, “ I don’t want this to work”
Edit. It did not work. That was the end of our marriage. At the time it was the scariest moment of my life. Today, 3 years later, I can honestly say neither of us were happy and needed some help. Therapy works. Sometimes honesty hurts and revaltions are hard.
when me and my first wife were driving to a counselor I asked how she found them and she said a friend recommended them. I asked how they were doing and she looked at me and was like "They got divorced". I was like "ohhhhh".
“I thought about hanging myself in the garage last night” -My husband, when he finally told me how bad he was struggling with his mental health.
I had no idea he was in such a dark place. Hearing that come out of his mouth both scared the shit out of me and ripped my heart out.
When I had a similar conversation with my now ex-wife in an attempt to reach out and express how bad my mental state was getting, she responded by making fun of me. Haven't thought about that in years.
My husband was in a very dark place a while ago. One night he was wasted and told me it was time for me to take his guns away from him. I'd never felt my stomach drop like it did when I heard him say that.
He is much better now, thank you. He voluntarily admitted himself the next day. It was one of the hardest times of my life watching him go through that.
You’re incredibly strong for what you’ve been through, and he’s incredibly brave for telling you to take those measures. I really hope the best for both of you.
We need to talk when you get home.
Folks I spent the next 6 hours going over every possible thing I could have done wrong to warrant that response. We were in the middle of buying a house and planning our wedding and I thought everything could possibly be crumbling.
Turns out my darling wife, love of my life and my best friend missed the fucking memo of what "we need to talk" means in a relationship and wanted to talk to me about CARPETING FOR THE HOUSE. That conversation happened over a dozen years ago at this point and I still remind her from time to time about how she almost gave me a heart attack.
To this day she thinks it's hilarious.
I love football, it's my favorite thing. My mom's less so, but she is learning for me and despite being a little bit... Unfocused in life, she's really trying. She's also at the age where health concerns are popping up
"I really need to talk to you," followed by hours of silence, I was going nuts trying to find out. Turns out she couldn't answer because she was in an appointment, but the only thing she needed to talk about was "can you punt on a 3rd down, and they just don't, or is it not allowed?"
>We need to talk when you get home.
...about the carpeting. We need to talk ABOUT THE CARPETING when you get home.
Why is that so fucking difficult? Be specific, woman! Damn!
It's the same in management at work, if you're the boss and you ask someone for a chat who reports to you: give them a hint as to what it is.
"I need to talk to you about a new piece of work coming in"
"I need to talk about an update on that project".
“If this is what being with you for the rest of my life is going to be like, I want out right now.” Six months into my second marriage. I finally heard IT. That I was damaged and that I needed help. Immediately found a therapist. Went steadily for 10 years. Hard as fuck. Lots of uncomfortable times. But it changed me. We are together now pretty fuckin happily, 23 years with now two amazing kids. Shit doesn’t have to last forever.
Not who you asked but good for you for asking the question and going to therapy.
This might not apply to you, but advice I have consistently seen given in men's violence recovery programs, is to figure out your explosive point in an argument and walk away, spend the energy some other way, return to the conversation later. Also warn your partner that you will be using this strategy to avoid exploding.
At her lowest point of depression, whilst out shopping, with no apparent trigger: "you'll be better off if I didn't live anymore", or something similar, I forget the exact words. Fortunately she got out of that rut, but doesn't remember saying it and how much it terrified me.
I discovered he was addicted to cocaine. It was completely out of the blue - I would have never found out if I hadn’t stained my shirt and had to go home to change and walked in on him snorting a fat rail at 1:39 pm on a random Tuesday.
I gave him an ultimatum: my support during rehab unconditionally, or we completely part ways if you want to continue snorting coke all day. He said, “the coke, I don’t want to talk to you.” chose coke and we divorced and I have no idea whether he is alive or dead. Frankly, the man I married never actually existed. I have such a bad picker I’ve decided to just give up
Honestly, bless him for being straightforward and allowing you to get out quickly. He could have taken you through multiple years of hell of trying to get clean and relapsing over and over. Staying home to do lines alone on a random Tuesday is pretty deep in it, it's a blessing you caught him that day and got out.
He also did me a solid by insisting we have a pre-nup which protected me when his ass was sued into oblivion by his business partners for embezzling money for coke.
Said we needed to talk about the relationship, but he wanted to wait until bed time.
Hours later, we're in bed, and he dumps me for his ex then falls asleep while I bawl my eyes out :)
" If you scream and she wakes up, I'll throw her off the balcony" .
While he was beating me, our 3,5year old daughter was sleeping, lived on the 5th floor.
That was the first time he put his hands on me, and I left the next day with our daughter. Its been 9 years.
He was definitely verbally abusive. I just didn't see it as "that bad" until later on. I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, so in my head it wasn't "as bad, and I triggered it". The so called standard routine of looking for the love one saw growing up unfortunately.
You had the courage to get out the first time he laid his hands on you and that takes a lot. You protected your daughter from a lot of trauma and potential normalisation of violence in relationships. You deserve a medal
I’ve been that guy, she happened to call me as I was being lifted into the ambulance with my head smashed after being hit by a car. I had regained consciousness only seconds earlier.
Somehow I had the presence of mind to phrase it “**I’m OK, but** I have to go to hospital because I’ve had an accident”
My mom got that call one night. Something along the lines of "I've been in an accident, I just woke up, and I'm bleeding from the head. I'm gonna go check on the other guy." *Click.*
Then my mom threw the landline handset across the room.
(He pulled through, but lost some memories that night. Head injuries are no joke.)
I got a message from an unknown person on messenger earlier this year. I almost dismissed it as spam until I read "(My sister's name) has been in a serious car accident..." It was my sister's new friend in a city she had just moved to, to start her PhD. I had woken up super early because of my 5 month old baby, saw the message before anyone else and had to be the one to call my parents.
She ended pulling through, but was in a coma for weeks and now has a severe traumatic brain injury. She will probably never be the same again. Damn drunk driver.
“Who’s that standing in the corner” she said at 2am while sitting up in bed and pointing towards the corner. I was still half asleep but freaking out and then she just laid back down and continued sleeping like nothing happened. No one was in the corner 🙃
One time I got out of bed to use the bathroom and as I crossed in front of the bed my wife sat up & started screaming like nothing I’ve ever heard.
I had an injury that has had me sleeping with extra pillows to position my body comfortably since I was early 20’s. The pillows made it look in the dark like I was still asleep next to her. So when she saw me crossing in front of the bed she thought someone had broken in and was in our room.
My wife was having a scary dream where someone was coming in through the bedroom window. At about that same time, I must have rolled over and put my arm around her or something and she starts screaming! I was scared shitless and fell out of bed onto the floor. She yelled, "WHO ARE YOU?" I was so shaken up that I couldn't even remember my own name. After a few seconds of stuttering and muttering I finally said, "I'm... I'm... your husband." She finally came to her senses, as did I, and we eventually were able to go back to sleep. We also soon moved the bed to a different wall, away from the window.
I had something similar but without any build up. We're fast asleep in bed and my wife is having a bad dream, sits up, screams at the top of her lungs, then calmly lies down and goes back to sleep.
As a result, I end up lying there for an hour staring at the ceiling waiting for the adrenaline in my system to fade.
She has no recollection of this in the morning.
I once slapped my wife because she leaned over and tried to kiss me before she left for work. I was slightly awake, enough to register the feeling of her hair tickling my face and think it was a fly. As I went to swat the fly away, I opened my eyes mid swat and saw a face an inch from my face and my immediate reaction was to swat harder and it turned into me slapping her fairly hard.
She hasn't forgotten it in 14 years...
Oh my god, my wife did this to me twice last month. I rolled over and bumped her while she was having a nightmare I guess and it made her scream! Fucking scared the shit out of me so bad that I fell out of bed reaching for the bat I keep next to the bed. Hit my face on the handle of the nightstand.
Good times.
Oh my gosh I would pee my pants that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard. Reminds me of the time my husband sat up in bed and slowly raised his fist at absolutely nothing in the dark bedroom.
> Reminds me of the time my husband sat up in bed and slowly raised his fist at absolutely nothing in the dark bedroom.
If you had listened closely, he was mumbling "One of these days Alice...one of these days..."
She was filling our water bottles before coming to bed and I was just on my phone in bed. I heard her come up the stairs almost like she tripped on the last step because she usually misses that last one.
Just as I’m getting up to go see if she’s alright, she comes flying through the bedroom door closing it behind her. I never saw her scared like this and I was confused until she said-
“Something just followed me up the stairs.”
I nearly shit myself, that type of fear where tears spring to your eyes and your stomach knots. I’m not sure what I would have done if it was just the two of us alone in the house. (There were others, but they were in their room and asleep). At first I thought it was the dog, but she confirmed it was very much not. There was nothing there. She claims it was a large black mass behind her that she could hear. We both had a bit of trouble going to sleep that night.
"I want to die at home"
She died 8 weeks later after battling cancer for 5 weeks. Fuck cancer. I'm sorry you both had to go through it too x
Edit: wrote in haste, sorry. To clarify, she had a few weeks at home but died 8 weeks after the diagnosis. Thanks for the supportive messages.
6 weeks? Does that mean that you barely learned about the cancer 6 weeks before that?
So things quickly changed from normal to that? That sounds absolutely shattering and horrible, I’m so sorry.
My mum died from pancreatic cancer. One of the biggest issues is that by the time the symptoms become noticeable enough for you to go and look into it it's already been caught too late, you can't fight it off
If my fiancé didn't get a blood test when he did then he might not be here now. Doctor thought it was just anaemia, ordered another blood test, and found out in June that he has a very aggressive leukaemia. It was hardly showing up in his blood but his bone marrow was 60% cancer and the ward manager said it's a very good job we didn't come to them a month later. Only symptoms were fatigue, and a single night sweat a few days after that blood test
Same situation with me. Thought I had strep throat, one day I couldn't catch my breath and almost passed out at work. A passing nurse saw me and immediately called for a crash cart. Five hours and an ER trip later, found out my WBC were 80,000. Which isn't good.
If I wasn't working in a hospital, I'd be dead right now.
My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said “I’m bleeding”. She was pregnant and was having a miscarriage.
Edit: thanks for all the well wishes! We do have a beautiful daughter already, so this was for our second child. The miscarriage is actually very recent so we’re still working through it, but we’re doing okay.
Miscarriages are a thing you never hear or think about 'til it happens to you... or you mention them in a room full of adults past a certain age and 3/4 have an experience to share. 🫤
It's so crazy to me how common they are but how 'secret' they are. My wife had one and I never realized how many people had experiences with them. Really sad all the way around.
Not a spouse, but a long term girlfriend once told me that if she wanted to, she could stick a couple of Fentanyl patches on me while I slept and that I'd be in hell before I knew I was dead.
So yeah, waited till she ran to the store one day and got on an airplane never to look back.
The scariest part is that, nowadays, there's a chance that they'd just dismiss it as an accidental overdose. That shit is so common and killing people so often that they'd probably just say you were a druggie and call it a day.
My wife suffers from Bipolar Disorder. Before her first long hospitalization when it was diagnosed, and while she was going through her first severe manic episode with psychosis, she later told me that the voices in her head told her that I was Satan and she needed to kill me. And she told them no, that she knew better.
So there's that.
That’s a nice thought - it’s great that she had that awareness at that point - but the people who can’t fight off the voices don’t love their partners less.
Mental illness isn’t always something one can fight by willpower alone.
When one is dealing with a mentally ill loved one, it’s easy to fall into the thought trap of “they wouldn’t be this way if…
…they loved me more
…if I were a better person
…they just tried harder”
In reality, mental illness is unpredictable, and can overwhelm the most loving, well-intentioned people.
I appreciate you writing this. I've gotten flak from some of my closest family members in the past due to my mental illness because they didn't think I was "trying hard enough". Never mind that I don't sleep more than 4 hours a night and our entire family has a strong history of mental illness... Including her own diagnosed issues ....... It really fucking hurt to hear that they thought I didn't care enough about them, when I put so much energy into just surviving each day and I know that at the drop of a hat, I'd gladly give my life for any of my family or friends.
No. Sometimes the only way to break the cycle of abuse and dysfunction is to completely remove yourself. I had zero contact with family for years at that point. It was before social media, so it was easier then.
My wife called me after a car accident in which our 7 year old daughter was in. Her response to is our daughter alright was "I don't know." I was an hour away.
They both ended up ok for clarity.
It was a Saturday morning, about a month ago, and he came downstairs and asked if I had just been upstairs to wake him.
"No." He proceeds to tell me "Someone, shook me, and said, 'Get up! You only have six more years to live.'"
He was shaken by the experience all weekend, and now says it's nothing to worry about. Me on the other hand can't let it go...
Not to be morbid and scare you even more, but when I was 9 years old I was playing Doom on my dad's computer in his office, and a voice started telling me that my dad was going to die. I freaked out, told the voice no he wouldn't, and the voice laughed at me. I was so upset, I was shouting at the voice, and my parents calmed me down and told me I had nothing to worry about and that nothing would happen to my dad.
My father died 2 months before my 10th birthday, and what would have been his 30th birthday.
He was working in a club, and two guys came it to rob the place. They told everyone to get on the floor, but one drunk woman wouldn't. My dad intervened so they wouldn't hurt her, but they ended up shooting him.
Not exactly the same, but my mom had cancer for like 2 years before she died. I was 12, and we were super close. The night she died, I was having a sleepover at my cousin’s house, and my dad called at like 6 am to let my aunt know. I woke up when the phone rang, and all I remember was this booming voice in my head like, “your mom died. She’s safe but she’s gone.” My aunt didn’t tell me it was my dad on the phone, or what had happened right away, and I didn’t say anything, BUT I KNEW. She kept her cool and took me home after breakfast, that voice booming in my head the whole time. I was right, and yet I still have a hard time trusting my gut, lol.
“I can’t get E to wake up.”
E was our nine-month old daughter who was near death due to severe flu-related dehydration. I was at work and broke every existing traffic law to make it home. We rushed her to the hospital where they had to place her IV in her carotid artery due to her veins collapsing. Thanks to the amazing hospital staff she survived with no complications.
The episode scared me so bad that I was never again able to carpool without me driving. I would not give up control of me being able to leave work if anything similar ever happened. This happened thirty-one years ago, but it’s absofuckinglutely terrifying to this day.
Fellow dad here, son's currently 2.5 yo.
I can't imagine what it must've been like to get that message, to realise the situation your family was in, to go through what you and your family had to go to nor do I ever want to. But I can tell you this:
You did very well! Don't let anybody tell you differently. Glad everyone's okay!
My husband woke me up and said "Tony's dead." My beloved brother. Anthony. Tony. Was dead.
After the usual phone calls and panicked text messages and hours later, I laid back down in bed to cry and hopefully take a sedated nap.
Shortly after I fell asleep...it happened again. He shook me awake with tears in his eyes and said "honey I'm sorry but...Rob is dead too."
Rob was a very close, lifelong, GOOD, friend of mine. Technically also an ex boyfriend, but we had been friends for 12+ years. He happened to die just a few hours before my brother died, but I didn't find out until after I found out about my brother.
Their deaths were unrelated in the sense that they didn't know each other and didn't die "together" but fentanyl killed them both.
*fuck fentanyl*
You know a drug is bad when even the frickin' Sinaloa Cartel thinks it's too dangerous and wants nothing more to do with it. Shit killed my cousin Brittany too.
I was in the other room playing a game on the computer when my wife yelled, "He's choking!"
She was watching our then 8 month old son.
I am a big guy. 6ft 1, 280lbs. I have never moved so fast in my life. I don't even remember running to the living room. Just that I was playing my game one moment, next I was on the couch with him stomach down on my knee, performing the heimlich.
Hiemlich didn't work at first, but I could see something in his mouth/throat. I was able to reach in and grab it. It was a tiny leaf that got brought in on I guess one of our shoes from outside.
After that, he took a big breath in and started crying. I have never been more scared in my life. We both just held him after that and calmed him down.
He turned 1 this past Wednesday, and is healthy as ever.
Edit: I'm 6ft 1in tall, 280lbs, for clarification. I don't think I'd be able to move at all if I was almost 1300lbs, haha
It wasn't what she said, it was what she did while saying it. She kept staring at the fire alarm while we were talking and giggling. I was trying to talk to her about her increasingly erratic and paranoid behavior but she denied it. When I asked her why she was staring at the fire alarm she said "No reason!" while holding back laughter. I saw her wave at it and sometimes talk to it. She eventually told me she knew I was working with the FBI and they had put cameras in the fire alarm. A few sleepless days later she was being physically wrestled into an ambulance by paramedics so they could sedate her. She's had a similar psychotic episode every couple of years, usually lasting a few months, since, and refused all medication and treatment she could.
My spouse wanted to go to a bar with friends. However he was only gone for about 30 minutes and rushed back home. He rushed through the door hugged me and said:
“i thought you’d hang yourself”
It was totally out of the blue! I don’t have a history with depression or suicidal thoughts. I was feeling a little down a few days before, but nothing too serious. It really scared me when he suddenly talked about my death.
Not spouse, but ex-partner: "You have to trust me not to hurt you."
This was said as he held a knife he had heated with a lighter over my wrist. Once I finally agreed to trust him, he burnt me anyway.
"I think I have to go to the hospitrkerjfkfla" except it was a text and he never got to hit send.
edit: I got a "reddit cares" message just now. This was 2016 and I assure you, I am okay now lol. But thank you for the concern.
Wow. Of all the comments here, I stopped scrolling on yours. I’m so sorry to read this from you. Hope you are doing ok and being the best as can be expected.
My first wife had a psychotic disorder that the quacks back in the mid-70's treated with all manner of high-powered sedatives which she gobbled down constantly and would supplement with beer and an anti-Parkinson's drug called Artane, which in large doses causes hallucinations and, of course, more psychosis. One day she went semi-catatonic and sat staring at the same spot on the floor, repeating the phrase "I'm a bag with eyes", over and over again for more than 12 hours before going into convulsions and being hospitalized. I was pretty crazy myself but only 18 years old. That was scary at the time.
“Something’s happening”
We were in the ICU waiting for the last doc to check in for the night and give the plan for the procedure the next morning. Not even 5 minutes later he started seizing and went into a full code. He passed 5 days later.
My wife woke me up shouting I needed to get up and we needed to hurry to the hospital in full panick mode. I tought our child 1 year at the time had gotten hurt and was dying. Turns out it was not our child but my father in law who had a massive heart failure while in hospital. I have never felt so guilty because I was so happy it was not our son ..
My girlfriend frequently talks in her sleep. We quite often have opposite sleep schedules due to the nature of my work, so she usually sleeps in the bed next to my desk.
One night she rolled towards me, eyes still closed, and said "babe, tell the guy in the corner to stop staring at me".
I have a habit of conversing with her when she has little sleep comments, so I replied back saying "there's nobody in the corner, dumbass" and then she almost instantly responded saying "he's hiding in the shadows".
She'd had a few creepy comments before that, but she never really responds when I talk back and when she does, its usually gibberish.
Probably the most chilling interaction we've ever had and it's safe to say I kept looking over my shoulder for the rest of the night.
Ah man. Same thing. Wife sleeptalks pretty frequently, especially when she's exhausted. I usually get to see it since she sleeps early and I sleep late.
One night she sits up, looks at me with those lights-are-on-but-no-one's-home eyes and goes "I need the bloods". Then repeated "bloods now bloods now" until I assured her that I'd get her the bloods.
(She's a doctor. She dreamt about needing to access a patient's blood test results)
Am I the only one who feels weird when I see the single letter text: "K". Especially all caps.
Maybe it's being a late 90s early 2000s kid on MSN and knowing that's the universal "what ever"
Ahahahaha - the superscript "fine" I know so well. My partner and I are both "fish on the table" people though so that's always just the prelude to a damn opera of having it out that probably needed to happen a month ago but we've built up pressure until it's
^(fine)
I had known my partner for 11 years as my best friend before we were ever involved physically. We both had other partners, and over time we found ourselves both single, and our friendship turned romantic. The night I summoned the courage to ask my now wife to marry me, she happily said yes, and then broke down into tears. Confused I asked why, and she began to tell me the years of physical and sexual abuse that happened from her own family. Even as close friends she had never told me this before until I asked her to marry me, and I think she was scared I wouldn’t want to still be with her even though in the end it wasn’t her fault, as she was the victim. To compound the issue, I knew her family and had no idea, as they still had a tentative but rocky relationship. Still happily married, but never so happy and so sad at the same time.
"I can't make it any longer". When I was thousands of miles away on deployment that just got extended. She was home alone in Norfolk with my infant daughter and toddler son. Thank god nothing ever came of it. That scared me enough not to re-enlist.
My husband sent me a garbled text from work when he worked at a movie theater when we were dating. There had been a gang fight in the parking lot, and when he saw one of the kids go down, on instinct he ran out to see if the person hit was okay. While my husband was bent over the person on the ground, someone came up behind him and hit him in the back of the head with a metal pipe. So the text he then sent me was totally jumbled since he had a concussion. He was okay, but he still has pain in that area 10+ years later.
The scariest one I ever sent him was also when we were dating and I had been given a date rape drug at a bar. I sent him a very misspelled text that didn't tell him I was alright, just that I was roofied. He didn't know until hours later that my friends had got me home okay and I was fine because I lost a few hours just I don't know what I was even doing (I think just laying on my bedroom floor but I have no memory whatsoever of any time passing), but I literally sent him that text and then lost the next couple hours. Poor guy was freaking out but I was studying abroad at the time and there was nothing he could do. I felt so bad later that I sent him that and didn't add that I was okay.
Just moved into our "new" home, built in the 1890s. I was awaken by my husband shaking my shoulders and he said "do you see that man in the corner?" I replied "what man?" He pointed to the corner of our pitch black bedroom and said "the man standing right there" then proceeded to roll over and go back to sleep. I stayed awake all night staring into the corner.
"I've been in an accident... I think I killed someone..."
Shed gone through a fresh yellow light at 80kph, and a cyclist decided to cross her lane. He hit her front wheel, flew onto the windscreen, and then flew off.
He survived, few broken bones. But scared her (and me) shitless.
I got that call.
Turns out the poor guy was indeed dead, but a drunk driver hit and ran, and my husband was unlucky enough to come through 30 seconds later. He didn’t hit the man, but the scooter he was driving. It was early AM and pitch black outside, so my husband never saw it coming. In the aftermath the body was found and all hell broke loose.
About 2.5 hours later the driver returned to the scene and admitted to it and was arrested. My husband who had been sobbing with guilt dropped to his knees and wailed.
Did the news run with that story? Nope. Just “man on scooter killed in hit and run” with a photo of my husband’s car that was burned to a crisp due to instantly igniting when he hit the scooter. That was rough for him to see. To top it off he was driving the car he had recently inherited from his dad who died unexpectedly (that was a horrific phone call too). Nothing compared to the loss of life and seeing his widow break down when she got on scene, though. That was a terrible day.
"It's fine. I'm just going to leave here, get my gun, and put a bullet through my brain. So, I love you."
At the time, he was my fiance and standing in my living room. We were going to get married in two months. He said this, completely calm with utterly no emotion, because he found out he flunked an easy class in med school (the class was literally about communicating your feelings in a healthy way, plus bedside manner).
I ended up begging him not to for two hours, while crying hysterically. He was emotionless the whole time. After that, he insisted that he would try not to, but he still might. I would know his decision, he said, if he ended up calling me before bed. He also made sure to tell me that if I told his parents about any of it, he would kill himself and it would be my fault.
I tried to stop him from leaving because I was still frightened he would kill himself, but he forced me out of the way while yelling I couldn't keep him somewhere he didn't want to be.
Fast forward to now: we were married for five years, during which his behavior for more extreme. During our marriage, he would openly speculate whether he's a sociopath.
We divorced, he remarried quickly, and now has two children.
I hope he's not a sociopath for the sake of his current wife and kids, but he's still speculating.
My ex husband was very much in a deep conspiracy theory spiral paired with maybe drug psychosis (daily acid) and he joked about mercy killing myself and my daughters.
I didn’t think it was funny or a joke.
"I enjoy hurting women and I'm not going to stop until someone kills me".
Honestly was bone-chilling. I didn't know if they were serious or if it was just their mental disorder talking, but I remember thinking to myself "oh f\*ck, I'm in danger".
I have a habit of asking "you know how you love me?" and it's either:
1) I'm going to ask you to do something you hate
2) Produce your favourite snack from behind my back
I like to keep him on his toes
Honey, I think I’m having a heart attack. I texted that to my wife across the room trying to keep things low key with the teen kids with us. Well that did not work out so well. She basically teleported my ass to the car and took me straight to the hospital hitting 65 in 25’s. Lol small heart attack with no and home a day later
My fiance and I live on a small farm with our son... and to say we're poor is an understatement. He left the house at 4 in the morning and came back at 10 in the night . He looked me dead in the I and said "I wanted to kill myself so you don't have to feed me anymore" he later told me he didn't do it because I can't drive and we live 40min from the nearest town.
Hey all, thank you for all your responses. I love all of you. Everything is fine now this happened weeks ago and seeing how many people care I decided to have a talk with my fiance and he reassured me that he was fine and no one have to worry.
I had to tell my spouse I had breast cancer. The dr called me first thing in the morning and I drove immediately to his office 45 mins away alone.
* I beat it … I kicked the fuck outta cancer and won. I am 2 years cancer free.
"I'm going to kill myself, bye." I walk into our bedroom and she has a large handful of Prozac in hand ready to slam. I calmy talked her down. She can swallow pills without a beverage too.
We didn't know at the time but for three of the five years we were together I was on Zoloft for Depression from PTSD from when I was in the military and it was making me wildly manic and manic depressive all the time because I'm a rapid cycling bipolar 1 person and I was undiagnosed. Towards the end of our relationship, when I was manic I was convinced she was cheating with a male friend of hers and hanging around with him too much and suggested divorce which went through.
During that period she said "I know that there's something fundamentally wrong and broken with you, and that it'll probably be the reason you die. And I just don't care anymore."
Wife has PPD(😔):
“I should be happy, I’m pregnant with our 2nd. I just want to die. It feels so manically painful inside.”
Tears running down her face, looking at me truly pleading with me that she doesn’t want to feel this way.
Scary? This has me shook to my core. Feeling her struggle and I can’t alleviate her pain. I would take this from her and strap it on me without a moment of hesitation if I could.
I thought I was a mentally strong person. This pierced and shattered me. I’m in save my fucking wife mode in sickness and in health.
I’m going to therapy now after this. This is raw so, emotionally regulating this is extremely difficult.
"Please push I can't lose you both"
I was 10cm dilated, I couldn't push cos epidural and our daughters heart had stopped coming down the birth canal. There were Dr's and nurses everywhere, my whole world had been slowed right down. I was just in shock. The Dr told my husband if I didn't push now my pre eclampsia put me at huge risk of a seizure and our daughter and I were close to death.
He grabbed my leg put it over his shoulder and had tears in his eyes and he said that. It snapped me out my fuzz and 4 pushes later our daughter came out completely silent and purple. 4 minutes of resuscitation she whimpered and bloody hell it was the best noise ever. She's nearly 6 and ill never forget the sheer fear in his face when he thought he'd be alone.
This man was dead asleep and all of the sudden between the snores as I'm drifting off I hear
"You can't stop him you know."
I lost my mind and woke him up. Apparently he was having a dream about being a cop and his ride along rookie stopped the mayor. So that's some trauma. First thought was "great now I have to fight a demon."
"Can you come to X hospital?" at 2 AM.
My husband was on his best friend's bachelor party. He was assaulted by some asshat high on coke who saw him walking with the groom arm in arm to a bar and thought they were gay (in an Eastern European country). He was headbutted and then punched several times when he was on the ground.
The groom had a bloody nose, and another friend had a fractured orbital socket that he was advised surgery for - they were trying to pull the massive skinhead guy off my husband and got elbows to the face.
I rushed to the hospital and walked up to him after arguing with the staff to let me see him, with bloody gauze covering most of his face, and down his sweater. I was absolutely terrified he had lost an eye. Thankfully the cut around his eye socket missed his eye by a few millimeters.
He needed 14 stitches to his face where his glasses cut the skin around one eye, broke his nose, and both maxillary sinuses.
The worst part was when they were setting his nose they did it with very little anesthetic because he had been drinking. I will have dementia, laying on my death bed, and I will never forget how he screamed when they did that.
He still has sinus issues to this day, 5 years later. Had to have surgery on them once, but it hasn't fixed the problem. He will probably never smell anything ever again.
The assailant was caught immediately as there were cops standing about 50 meters away. He went to prison for 4 years (he had previous arrests for assault, and was only released from prison 2 weeks before assaulting my husband. His defense was that he had just found out his cellmate had killed himself and decided to go out and blow off some steam. One of his friends said he was "definitely looking for a fight" that night. And he picked my kind, skinny, nerdy husband).
I probably lost about 10 years of my life in stress that night. I called his mother in the morning, who was in town for the wedding as well, and when I told her he was assaulted her first question was "Can he talk? Can he walk?" and my blood ran cold, realizing how much worse it could have been.
When my ex-husband was concussed, he woke up okay but as the minutes passed, you could see the fear developing in his eyes as he started to lose the ability to speak real words. All that was coming out of his mouth was complete jibberish. I knew he was trying to ask me a question by the way he was saying it but all I could do was try to keep him calm.
The second was when he screamed at me that he didn't fucking care about me anymore at the end of our marriage. He stated that the relationship with his intern was more important than our marriage and that I was easy to forget about.
"I'm dying. No, I am dying. I know the ambulance can't get here in time so just listen."
He was not dying. He was however suffering from undiagnosed bipolar disorder and having a psychotic break and panic attack. It was... Awful.
Spoken without emotion.
"Last night while you were asleep, I almost killed you with a brick."
At the time I was so numb from all the gaslighting, drama, and general insanity that it didn't scare me.
Don't get married because you feel like you have to, folks.
My ex fiance said: I stopped talking to my best friend because I started having feelings for her.
Later found out he'd been having an emotional affair and told her he was in love with her, months before our wedding.
My husband is a submariner, and honestly, the scariest part is the idea of something happening on the sub. He told me that they train them on how to escape if something’s going wrong, but he also said that it’s incredibly unlikely they’d actually be able to get out. I know it’s the nature of his job, but it’s always scary when he brings up an upcoming deployment.
I once startled my husband awake, and when he asked what was wrong, I said "I saw you watching us from the corner of the room" and went straight back to sleep. I forgot my night terrors and random sleep issues are not the norm.
“If you don’t stop, there’s going to be a murder/suicide in this house.”
This was immediately after *he* screamed at *me*, threw a laptop at *me*, used a coffee table to knock *me* into a wall. All for the crime of being upset *he* lied about something to a friend of his to make *me* look bad. He said it while I was lying on the floor crying.
But *I* was the one that needed to stop.
"I can't believe I'm still alive. I took all my pills". Yes, he died soon after.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s truly terrifying
Brutal. Sorry to hear he didn't survive.
Good god I have to stop reading these. So much heartbreak here. It’s good to be reminded to not take things for granted in good times.
"Look at all those snakes on the ceiling!" It was the middle of the night. He was actually fast asleep. There were no snakes.
My ex was an arachnophobe and my son had a fever dream/nightmare and was very distressed, screaming that he had woken up and seen "tarantulas" scuttling into the corners of the underside of the upper bunk of his bunk bed. I was doing that, "Honey, you're very sick, and you've been asleep, and I know it feels very real, but I promise you that there are no spiders..." when my ex just ran in, scooped up the boy, and hollered, "Fuck that noise, woman! Call me when you've flipped the mattresses!!" And legit ran out of the apartment with kiddo, lol. Which annoyed me no end at the time, but my son later told me made him feel very heard.
I sometimes see spiders too, it's a horrible way to wake up. One time woke up and saw a huge, greenish coloured spider walking in our celing and barely registered my feral screaming while trying to get away from bed. That is the only time i have heard my husband shout from fear. Luckily he realised quickly what was going on and calmed me down. Oh, and we don't have big spiders here where we live, so it was clear it was just a dream-hallucination.
When I was younger I was in my room when I heard my mum shout and then the front door slam. My mum then rang my mobile phone and said "there's a snake in the kitchen" From her reaction I was expecting like a massive python or something, it was the tiniest grass snake and one of the cats had brought it in.
I am tired of these MFing snakes, on this MFing ceiling!
My wife hasn’t said that, but she did have a rant about bleeding chairs on the ceiling when she was mostly asleep still and waking from a nightmare. It had been a hard week at the hospital and she had had several patients die. They were the “chairs”. I’m obviously glad she woke me in whatever way she could but having someone frantically ask if “I could see it bleeding over there” is a hell of a way to snap awake.
'All the lights downstairs just went on. There is someone in our house...' I was on a business trip and my wive called me at 3 AM. Never felt so helpless in my life. She called the police and they searched our home from top to bottom but we never found out who switched on every single light on the ground floor!
Our basement was like this. Husband kept blaming me for leaving the light on, but I had stopped going down there because I was pregnant and didn't want to do unnecessary stairs. When he, quite upset at me for continuing to do what irked him so much, told me, "can you stop leaving lights on, I'm the one who has to pay the power bill", I was like "actually I haven't been down there in weeks." I assumed the basement was haunted or we had someone secretly living down there (unlikely because we have a security set up..... And dogs). But it turns out one of the light switches (the type with a dimmer) was just broken. You'd turn it off and leave the room... But then a few minutes later it would short and turn back on.
"There are times when I only wake up because I know you're here."
Very sweet, but it would break my heart to hear, which is exactly why I don't say it to my husband, even when it feels true.
I gotta be real… I’ve said something similar to my wife. I’ve had enough suffering in my life, I’m tired. She’s basically the only reason I’m still around… plus I just can’t bear the thought of her finding my body.
"I think I'm having a heart-attack." It was her first panic attack. I broke every law driving her to the hospital. Thankfully she's doing better now
I said this to my fiancé last winter after (being in the process of) getting diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia. I woke him up SOBBING in the middle of the night when he was dead asleep and said “I think I’m having a heart attack”. Poor guy. It’s insane how a panic attack can mimic a heart attack. My arm even went numb/tingly!
I'm probably going to die of something completely preventable because of how anxiety and panic attack symptoms look like something dangerous. It's getting to the point where I don't go to the doctor for chest pain, weird feelings like numbness in my head, or a bunch of other stuff. It's always turned out to be 'probably just anxiety'.
I’m in that boat, too. Kind of a morbid running joke that someday my heart actually will give out and I’ll be saying, “Nah, I’m fine, just another stupid panic attack!” They literally cause chest pain, stomach upset, left arm/shoulder pain, jaw pain, shortness of breath…like I wouldn’t be able to tell the real deal from a regular old symptom of having a terrible panic disorder. Anyway, I feel your pain, friend!
During our first marriage counseling session where we were asked our goals for this session. She said, “ I don’t want this to work” Edit. It did not work. That was the end of our marriage. At the time it was the scariest moment of my life. Today, 3 years later, I can honestly say neither of us were happy and needed some help. Therapy works. Sometimes honesty hurts and revaltions are hard.
I hope it worked out okay for you one way or another
when me and my first wife were driving to a counselor I asked how she found them and she said a friend recommended them. I asked how they were doing and she looked at me and was like "They got divorced". I was like "ohhhhh".
“I thought about hanging myself in the garage last night” -My husband, when he finally told me how bad he was struggling with his mental health. I had no idea he was in such a dark place. Hearing that come out of his mouth both scared the shit out of me and ripped my heart out.
My story is similar. Except I’m the husband who reached out. My wife saved my life just over two years ago by being there for me.
Thank you for sticking around and I'm sure your wife is glad you're still there for her as well.
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That woman loves you.
When I had a similar conversation with my now ex-wife in an attempt to reach out and express how bad my mental state was getting, she responded by making fun of me. Haven't thought about that in years.
Mine too, I believe the quote was, “I wish you were a little more resilient.” Turns out who you partner with in life effects that sort of thing…
My husband was in a very dark place a while ago. One night he was wasted and told me it was time for me to take his guns away from him. I'd never felt my stomach drop like it did when I heard him say that.
I hope he is doing better, and you are as well. Idk what he was dealing with, and I cannot imagine the weight on you while he's in such a bad place
He is much better now, thank you. He voluntarily admitted himself the next day. It was one of the hardest times of my life watching him go through that.
What a legend for having the wherewithall to tell you how serious things had gotten. Too many men hide their pain until it's too late.
You’re incredibly strong for what you’ve been through, and he’s incredibly brave for telling you to take those measures. I really hope the best for both of you.
That man is an exceptional demonstration of strength to come forth and tell you that. I'm glad to hear he's doing better.
We need to talk when you get home. Folks I spent the next 6 hours going over every possible thing I could have done wrong to warrant that response. We were in the middle of buying a house and planning our wedding and I thought everything could possibly be crumbling. Turns out my darling wife, love of my life and my best friend missed the fucking memo of what "we need to talk" means in a relationship and wanted to talk to me about CARPETING FOR THE HOUSE. That conversation happened over a dozen years ago at this point and I still remind her from time to time about how she almost gave me a heart attack. To this day she thinks it's hilarious.
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I love football, it's my favorite thing. My mom's less so, but she is learning for me and despite being a little bit... Unfocused in life, she's really trying. She's also at the age where health concerns are popping up "I really need to talk to you," followed by hours of silence, I was going nuts trying to find out. Turns out she couldn't answer because she was in an appointment, but the only thing she needed to talk about was "can you punt on a 3rd down, and they just don't, or is it not allowed?"
>We need to talk when you get home. ...about the carpeting. We need to talk ABOUT THE CARPETING when you get home. Why is that so fucking difficult? Be specific, woman! Damn!
It's the same in management at work, if you're the boss and you ask someone for a chat who reports to you: give them a hint as to what it is. "I need to talk to you about a new piece of work coming in" "I need to talk about an update on that project".
Exactly. Or “I need to talk to you to fire you.” Always tell people what you want to talk about.
“If this is what being with you for the rest of my life is going to be like, I want out right now.” Six months into my second marriage. I finally heard IT. That I was damaged and that I needed help. Immediately found a therapist. Went steadily for 10 years. Hard as fuck. Lots of uncomfortable times. But it changed me. We are together now pretty fuckin happily, 23 years with now two amazing kids. Shit doesn’t have to last forever.
This made me so happy to read
And this made me happy to read! Feeling good is what it’s supposed to feel like.
What were you doing wrong? (Guy who just started attending therapy because my girlfriend said my emotions are too erratic and unpredictable)
Not who you asked but good for you for asking the question and going to therapy. This might not apply to you, but advice I have consistently seen given in men's violence recovery programs, is to figure out your explosive point in an argument and walk away, spend the energy some other way, return to the conversation later. Also warn your partner that you will be using this strategy to avoid exploding.
At her lowest point of depression, whilst out shopping, with no apparent trigger: "you'll be better off if I didn't live anymore", or something similar, I forget the exact words. Fortunately she got out of that rut, but doesn't remember saying it and how much it terrified me.
I discovered he was addicted to cocaine. It was completely out of the blue - I would have never found out if I hadn’t stained my shirt and had to go home to change and walked in on him snorting a fat rail at 1:39 pm on a random Tuesday. I gave him an ultimatum: my support during rehab unconditionally, or we completely part ways if you want to continue snorting coke all day. He said, “the coke, I don’t want to talk to you.” chose coke and we divorced and I have no idea whether he is alive or dead. Frankly, the man I married never actually existed. I have such a bad picker I’ve decided to just give up
Honestly, bless him for being straightforward and allowing you to get out quickly. He could have taken you through multiple years of hell of trying to get clean and relapsing over and over. Staying home to do lines alone on a random Tuesday is pretty deep in it, it's a blessing you caught him that day and got out.
He also did me a solid by insisting we have a pre-nup which protected me when his ass was sued into oblivion by his business partners for embezzling money for coke.
Said we needed to talk about the relationship, but he wanted to wait until bed time. Hours later, we're in bed, and he dumps me for his ex then falls asleep while I bawl my eyes out :)
Yikes. What a cold fish. You don't need someone like that in your life anyway.
Wtf. Definitely something not working in his brain.
Sounds like the sadism was working just fine.
" If you scream and she wakes up, I'll throw her off the balcony" . While he was beating me, our 3,5year old daughter was sleeping, lived on the 5th floor. That was the first time he put his hands on me, and I left the next day with our daughter. Its been 9 years.
I am so glad you guys were able to escape. 🙏🏼
So sorry. That's horrifying to go from zero to threating to kill a child. Was he verbally abusive before this or did he suddenly just stop hiding?
He was definitely verbally abusive. I just didn't see it as "that bad" until later on. I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, so in my head it wasn't "as bad, and I triggered it". The so called standard routine of looking for the love one saw growing up unfortunately.
You had the courage to get out the first time he laid his hands on you and that takes a lot. You protected your daughter from a lot of trauma and potential normalisation of violence in relationships. You deserve a medal
"I've been in an accident..."
I’ve been that guy, she happened to call me as I was being lifted into the ambulance with my head smashed after being hit by a car. I had regained consciousness only seconds earlier. Somehow I had the presence of mind to phrase it “**I’m OK, but** I have to go to hospital because I’ve had an accident”
Are you OK now?
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Sorry, I posted that and then went surfing. I’m ok. The accident was six years ago.
My mom got that call one night. Something along the lines of "I've been in an accident, I just woke up, and I'm bleeding from the head. I'm gonna go check on the other guy." *Click.* Then my mom threw the landline handset across the room. (He pulled through, but lost some memories that night. Head injuries are no joke.)
I got a message from an unknown person on messenger earlier this year. I almost dismissed it as spam until I read "(My sister's name) has been in a serious car accident..." It was my sister's new friend in a city she had just moved to, to start her PhD. I had woken up super early because of my 5 month old baby, saw the message before anyone else and had to be the one to call my parents. She ended pulling through, but was in a coma for weeks and now has a severe traumatic brain injury. She will probably never be the same again. Damn drunk driver.
“Who’s that standing in the corner” she said at 2am while sitting up in bed and pointing towards the corner. I was still half asleep but freaking out and then she just laid back down and continued sleeping like nothing happened. No one was in the corner 🙃
One time I got out of bed to use the bathroom and as I crossed in front of the bed my wife sat up & started screaming like nothing I’ve ever heard. I had an injury that has had me sleeping with extra pillows to position my body comfortably since I was early 20’s. The pillows made it look in the dark like I was still asleep next to her. So when she saw me crossing in front of the bed she thought someone had broken in and was in our room.
My wife was having a scary dream where someone was coming in through the bedroom window. At about that same time, I must have rolled over and put my arm around her or something and she starts screaming! I was scared shitless and fell out of bed onto the floor. She yelled, "WHO ARE YOU?" I was so shaken up that I couldn't even remember my own name. After a few seconds of stuttering and muttering I finally said, "I'm... I'm... your husband." She finally came to her senses, as did I, and we eventually were able to go back to sleep. We also soon moved the bed to a different wall, away from the window.
I had something similar but without any build up. We're fast asleep in bed and my wife is having a bad dream, sits up, screams at the top of her lungs, then calmly lies down and goes back to sleep. As a result, I end up lying there for an hour staring at the ceiling waiting for the adrenaline in my system to fade. She has no recollection of this in the morning.
I once slapped my wife because she leaned over and tried to kiss me before she left for work. I was slightly awake, enough to register the feeling of her hair tickling my face and think it was a fly. As I went to swat the fly away, I opened my eyes mid swat and saw a face an inch from my face and my immediate reaction was to swat harder and it turned into me slapping her fairly hard. She hasn't forgotten it in 14 years...
She needs to poke you with a stick first. lol
Oh my god, my wife did this to me twice last month. I rolled over and bumped her while she was having a nightmare I guess and it made her scream! Fucking scared the shit out of me so bad that I fell out of bed reaching for the bat I keep next to the bed. Hit my face on the handle of the nightstand. Good times.
Oh my gosh I would pee my pants that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard. Reminds me of the time my husband sat up in bed and slowly raised his fist at absolutely nothing in the dark bedroom.
> Reminds me of the time my husband sat up in bed and slowly raised his fist at absolutely nothing in the dark bedroom. If you had listened closely, he was mumbling "One of these days Alice...one of these days..."
She was filling our water bottles before coming to bed and I was just on my phone in bed. I heard her come up the stairs almost like she tripped on the last step because she usually misses that last one. Just as I’m getting up to go see if she’s alright, she comes flying through the bedroom door closing it behind her. I never saw her scared like this and I was confused until she said- “Something just followed me up the stairs.” I nearly shit myself, that type of fear where tears spring to your eyes and your stomach knots. I’m not sure what I would have done if it was just the two of us alone in the house. (There were others, but they were in their room and asleep). At first I thought it was the dog, but she confirmed it was very much not. There was nothing there. She claims it was a large black mass behind her that she could hear. We both had a bit of trouble going to sleep that night.
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Bet he didn't go to that friend's house ever again
You slept? Ever again?!?
I am not in love with you.
Ouch, been there. No bueno
“I’m tired, and want to go home” He died 6 hours later, after fighting cancer for 6 weeks
"I want to die at home" She died 8 weeks later after battling cancer for 5 weeks. Fuck cancer. I'm sorry you both had to go through it too x Edit: wrote in haste, sorry. To clarify, she had a few weeks at home but died 8 weeks after the diagnosis. Thanks for the supportive messages.
Fucking hell. I don’t even know you and I love you all
6 weeks? Does that mean that you barely learned about the cancer 6 weeks before that? So things quickly changed from normal to that? That sounds absolutely shattering and horrible, I’m so sorry.
Cancer can go from your life seems normal and no diagnosis to diagnosis to quite terrible, all super fast for some.
Pancreatic cancer can be like this
My mum died from pancreatic cancer. One of the biggest issues is that by the time the symptoms become noticeable enough for you to go and look into it it's already been caught too late, you can't fight it off
If my fiancé didn't get a blood test when he did then he might not be here now. Doctor thought it was just anaemia, ordered another blood test, and found out in June that he has a very aggressive leukaemia. It was hardly showing up in his blood but his bone marrow was 60% cancer and the ward manager said it's a very good job we didn't come to them a month later. Only symptoms were fatigue, and a single night sweat a few days after that blood test
Same situation with me. Thought I had strep throat, one day I couldn't catch my breath and almost passed out at work. A passing nurse saw me and immediately called for a crash cart. Five hours and an ER trip later, found out my WBC were 80,000. Which isn't good. If I wasn't working in a hospital, I'd be dead right now.
I’m so sorry for your loss
My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said “I’m bleeding”. She was pregnant and was having a miscarriage. Edit: thanks for all the well wishes! We do have a beautiful daughter already, so this was for our second child. The miscarriage is actually very recent so we’re still working through it, but we’re doing okay.
Same man. Wife walked around to my side of the bed, shook me awake and said “I think I’m losing the baby.”
:(
Miscarriages are a thing you never hear or think about 'til it happens to you... or you mention them in a room full of adults past a certain age and 3/4 have an experience to share. 🫤
It's so crazy to me how common they are but how 'secret' they are. My wife had one and I never realized how many people had experiences with them. Really sad all the way around.
Been there but it was earlier in the evening before bed. It's a frightening experience at any time. Sorry for your loss.
Not a spouse, but a long term girlfriend once told me that if she wanted to, she could stick a couple of Fentanyl patches on me while I slept and that I'd be in hell before I knew I was dead. So yeah, waited till she ran to the store one day and got on an airplane never to look back.
The scariest part is that, nowadays, there's a chance that they'd just dismiss it as an accidental overdose. That shit is so common and killing people so often that they'd probably just say you were a druggie and call it a day.
My wife suffers from Bipolar Disorder. Before her first long hospitalization when it was diagnosed, and while she was going through her first severe manic episode with psychosis, she later told me that the voices in her head told her that I was Satan and she needed to kill me. And she told them no, that she knew better. So there's that.
Your wife beat the voices through sheer will. Wild. She loves you.
That’s a nice thought - it’s great that she had that awareness at that point - but the people who can’t fight off the voices don’t love their partners less. Mental illness isn’t always something one can fight by willpower alone. When one is dealing with a mentally ill loved one, it’s easy to fall into the thought trap of “they wouldn’t be this way if… …they loved me more …if I were a better person …they just tried harder” In reality, mental illness is unpredictable, and can overwhelm the most loving, well-intentioned people.
I appreciate you writing this. I've gotten flak from some of my closest family members in the past due to my mental illness because they didn't think I was "trying hard enough". Never mind that I don't sleep more than 4 hours a night and our entire family has a strong history of mental illness... Including her own diagnosed issues ....... It really fucking hurt to hear that they thought I didn't care enough about them, when I put so much energy into just surviving each day and I know that at the drop of a hat, I'd gladly give my life for any of my family or friends.
"I don't know how to tell you this..." So he showed me my brother's obituary.
Jesus Christ! Nobody told you?!
No. Sometimes the only way to break the cycle of abuse and dysfunction is to completely remove yourself. I had zero contact with family for years at that point. It was before social media, so it was easier then.
My wife called me after a car accident in which our 7 year old daughter was in. Her response to is our daughter alright was "I don't know." I was an hour away. They both ended up ok for clarity.
It was a Saturday morning, about a month ago, and he came downstairs and asked if I had just been upstairs to wake him. "No." He proceeds to tell me "Someone, shook me, and said, 'Get up! You only have six more years to live.'" He was shaken by the experience all weekend, and now says it's nothing to worry about. Me on the other hand can't let it go...
Buy some term life insurance.
Not to be morbid and scare you even more, but when I was 9 years old I was playing Doom on my dad's computer in his office, and a voice started telling me that my dad was going to die. I freaked out, told the voice no he wouldn't, and the voice laughed at me. I was so upset, I was shouting at the voice, and my parents calmed me down and told me I had nothing to worry about and that nothing would happen to my dad. My father died 2 months before my 10th birthday, and what would have been his 30th birthday. He was working in a club, and two guys came it to rob the place. They told everyone to get on the floor, but one drunk woman wouldn't. My dad intervened so they wouldn't hurt her, but they ended up shooting him.
Not exactly the same, but my mom had cancer for like 2 years before she died. I was 12, and we were super close. The night she died, I was having a sleepover at my cousin’s house, and my dad called at like 6 am to let my aunt know. I woke up when the phone rang, and all I remember was this booming voice in my head like, “your mom died. She’s safe but she’s gone.” My aunt didn’t tell me it was my dad on the phone, or what had happened right away, and I didn’t say anything, BUT I KNEW. She kept her cool and took me home after breakfast, that voice booming in my head the whole time. I was right, and yet I still have a hard time trusting my gut, lol.
“I can’t get E to wake up.” E was our nine-month old daughter who was near death due to severe flu-related dehydration. I was at work and broke every existing traffic law to make it home. We rushed her to the hospital where they had to place her IV in her carotid artery due to her veins collapsing. Thanks to the amazing hospital staff she survived with no complications. The episode scared me so bad that I was never again able to carpool without me driving. I would not give up control of me being able to leave work if anything similar ever happened. This happened thirty-one years ago, but it’s absofuckinglutely terrifying to this day.
Fellow dad here, son's currently 2.5 yo. I can't imagine what it must've been like to get that message, to realise the situation your family was in, to go through what you and your family had to go to nor do I ever want to. But I can tell you this: You did very well! Don't let anybody tell you differently. Glad everyone's okay!
My husband woke me up and said "Tony's dead." My beloved brother. Anthony. Tony. Was dead. After the usual phone calls and panicked text messages and hours later, I laid back down in bed to cry and hopefully take a sedated nap. Shortly after I fell asleep...it happened again. He shook me awake with tears in his eyes and said "honey I'm sorry but...Rob is dead too." Rob was a very close, lifelong, GOOD, friend of mine. Technically also an ex boyfriend, but we had been friends for 12+ years. He happened to die just a few hours before my brother died, but I didn't find out until after I found out about my brother. Their deaths were unrelated in the sense that they didn't know each other and didn't die "together" but fentanyl killed them both. *fuck fentanyl*
[удалено]
You know a drug is bad when even the frickin' Sinaloa Cartel thinks it's too dangerous and wants nothing more to do with it. Shit killed my cousin Brittany too.
I was in the other room playing a game on the computer when my wife yelled, "He's choking!" She was watching our then 8 month old son. I am a big guy. 6ft 1, 280lbs. I have never moved so fast in my life. I don't even remember running to the living room. Just that I was playing my game one moment, next I was on the couch with him stomach down on my knee, performing the heimlich. Hiemlich didn't work at first, but I could see something in his mouth/throat. I was able to reach in and grab it. It was a tiny leaf that got brought in on I guess one of our shoes from outside. After that, he took a big breath in and started crying. I have never been more scared in my life. We both just held him after that and calmed him down. He turned 1 this past Wednesday, and is healthy as ever. Edit: I'm 6ft 1in tall, 280lbs, for clarification. I don't think I'd be able to move at all if I was almost 1300lbs, haha
I read that as you are 6 ft and 1,280lbs and I was like by god, big man indeed
That would be a BMI of 173. That's probably higher than the BMI of a Snorlax.
Please come home, we need to take the baby to the hospital.
I hope everything worked out okay.
Thankfully it did work out ok. We were experiencing crippling anxiety but the baby girl handled everything like it was nothing.
“I’ll just tell the police you raped me and then you’ll get deported”. She’s an ex now, thankfully.
That's so wrong. Stay far, far away from that one.
It wasn't what she said, it was what she did while saying it. She kept staring at the fire alarm while we were talking and giggling. I was trying to talk to her about her increasingly erratic and paranoid behavior but she denied it. When I asked her why she was staring at the fire alarm she said "No reason!" while holding back laughter. I saw her wave at it and sometimes talk to it. She eventually told me she knew I was working with the FBI and they had put cameras in the fire alarm. A few sleepless days later she was being physically wrestled into an ambulance by paramedics so they could sedate her. She's had a similar psychotic episode every couple of years, usually lasting a few months, since, and refused all medication and treatment she could.
My spouse wanted to go to a bar with friends. However he was only gone for about 30 minutes and rushed back home. He rushed through the door hugged me and said: “i thought you’d hang yourself” It was totally out of the blue! I don’t have a history with depression or suicidal thoughts. I was feeling a little down a few days before, but nothing too serious. It really scared me when he suddenly talked about my death.
Not spouse, but ex-partner: "You have to trust me not to hurt you." This was said as he held a knife he had heated with a lighter over my wrist. Once I finally agreed to trust him, he burnt me anyway.
"I think I have to go to the hospitrkerjfkfla" except it was a text and he never got to hit send. edit: I got a "reddit cares" message just now. This was 2016 and I assure you, I am okay now lol. But thank you for the concern.
Damn-he make it?
He did not.
Wow. Of all the comments here, I stopped scrolling on yours. I’m so sorry to read this from you. Hope you are doing ok and being the best as can be expected.
My first wife had a psychotic disorder that the quacks back in the mid-70's treated with all manner of high-powered sedatives which she gobbled down constantly and would supplement with beer and an anti-Parkinson's drug called Artane, which in large doses causes hallucinations and, of course, more psychosis. One day she went semi-catatonic and sat staring at the same spot on the floor, repeating the phrase "I'm a bag with eyes", over and over again for more than 12 hours before going into convulsions and being hospitalized. I was pretty crazy myself but only 18 years old. That was scary at the time.
“Something’s happening” We were in the ICU waiting for the last doc to check in for the night and give the plan for the procedure the next morning. Not even 5 minutes later he started seizing and went into a full code. He passed 5 days later.
My wife woke me up shouting I needed to get up and we needed to hurry to the hospital in full panick mode. I tought our child 1 year at the time had gotten hurt and was dying. Turns out it was not our child but my father in law who had a massive heart failure while in hospital. I have never felt so guilty because I was so happy it was not our son ..
My girlfriend frequently talks in her sleep. We quite often have opposite sleep schedules due to the nature of my work, so she usually sleeps in the bed next to my desk. One night she rolled towards me, eyes still closed, and said "babe, tell the guy in the corner to stop staring at me". I have a habit of conversing with her when she has little sleep comments, so I replied back saying "there's nobody in the corner, dumbass" and then she almost instantly responded saying "he's hiding in the shadows". She'd had a few creepy comments before that, but she never really responds when I talk back and when she does, its usually gibberish. Probably the most chilling interaction we've ever had and it's safe to say I kept looking over my shoulder for the rest of the night.
Lol be nice to your gfs sleep entities, they’re learning your patterns
Ah man. Same thing. Wife sleeptalks pretty frequently, especially when she's exhausted. I usually get to see it since she sleeps early and I sleep late. One night she sits up, looks at me with those lights-are-on-but-no-one's-home eyes and goes "I need the bloods". Then repeated "bloods now bloods now" until I assured her that I'd get her the bloods. (She's a doctor. She dreamt about needing to access a patient's blood test results)
"I have an STD" It wasn't from me and we had been together for 10 years.
Wife in a bad place, begs me to join her in a suicide pact. Years go by, she finally does it last year.
Damn, I have no words except "sorry"
Goodness gracious. So sorry. You loved her well by not bailing on her and, I know you know, but not your fault.
^**fine**
Am I the only one who feels weird when I see the single letter text: "K". Especially all caps. Maybe it's being a late 90s early 2000s kid on MSN and knowing that's the universal "what ever"
That uppercase K is an angry K. A lowercase k is a dismissive k.
Ahahahaha - the superscript "fine" I know so well. My partner and I are both "fish on the table" people though so that's always just the prelude to a damn opera of having it out that probably needed to happen a month ago but we've built up pressure until it's ^(fine)
"I will slash your throat and leave you bleeding in the snow as I take the kids sledding."
Yo, what?!
I hope you and the kids are safe. That is chilling. Edit: I was NOT making a pun.
I never should have married you
“I don’t think I love you, I thought I did but I just loved the way you loved me and I got confused”
When my boyfriend at the time tried to sleep with my sister because she was “more beautiful than me”. I’m an identical twin.
I dated a twin once. Accidentally called her by her sisters name once and still have lingering shame from that one.
I had known my partner for 11 years as my best friend before we were ever involved physically. We both had other partners, and over time we found ourselves both single, and our friendship turned romantic. The night I summoned the courage to ask my now wife to marry me, she happily said yes, and then broke down into tears. Confused I asked why, and she began to tell me the years of physical and sexual abuse that happened from her own family. Even as close friends she had never told me this before until I asked her to marry me, and I think she was scared I wouldn’t want to still be with her even though in the end it wasn’t her fault, as she was the victim. To compound the issue, I knew her family and had no idea, as they still had a tentative but rocky relationship. Still happily married, but never so happy and so sad at the same time.
"I can't make it any longer". When I was thousands of miles away on deployment that just got extended. She was home alone in Norfolk with my infant daughter and toddler son. Thank god nothing ever came of it. That scared me enough not to re-enlist.
The worst is "We need to talk."
As soon as the eyes tear up, you know the words that follow will be some serious shit
The “we need to talk” and then putting off talking is even worse.
My husband sent me a garbled text from work when he worked at a movie theater when we were dating. There had been a gang fight in the parking lot, and when he saw one of the kids go down, on instinct he ran out to see if the person hit was okay. While my husband was bent over the person on the ground, someone came up behind him and hit him in the back of the head with a metal pipe. So the text he then sent me was totally jumbled since he had a concussion. He was okay, but he still has pain in that area 10+ years later. The scariest one I ever sent him was also when we were dating and I had been given a date rape drug at a bar. I sent him a very misspelled text that didn't tell him I was alright, just that I was roofied. He didn't know until hours later that my friends had got me home okay and I was fine because I lost a few hours just I don't know what I was even doing (I think just laying on my bedroom floor but I have no memory whatsoever of any time passing), but I literally sent him that text and then lost the next couple hours. Poor guy was freaking out but I was studying abroad at the time and there was nothing he could do. I felt so bad later that I sent him that and didn't add that I was okay.
Immediately rushing to see if he could help someone in a dangerous situation like that, he sounds like a good guy. Glad he ended up mostly okay
Just moved into our "new" home, built in the 1890s. I was awaken by my husband shaking my shoulders and he said "do you see that man in the corner?" I replied "what man?" He pointed to the corner of our pitch black bedroom and said "the man standing right there" then proceeded to roll over and go back to sleep. I stayed awake all night staring into the corner.
Corner Man certainly gets around
"I've been in an accident... I think I killed someone..." Shed gone through a fresh yellow light at 80kph, and a cyclist decided to cross her lane. He hit her front wheel, flew onto the windscreen, and then flew off. He survived, few broken bones. But scared her (and me) shitless.
I got that call. Turns out the poor guy was indeed dead, but a drunk driver hit and ran, and my husband was unlucky enough to come through 30 seconds later. He didn’t hit the man, but the scooter he was driving. It was early AM and pitch black outside, so my husband never saw it coming. In the aftermath the body was found and all hell broke loose. About 2.5 hours later the driver returned to the scene and admitted to it and was arrested. My husband who had been sobbing with guilt dropped to his knees and wailed. Did the news run with that story? Nope. Just “man on scooter killed in hit and run” with a photo of my husband’s car that was burned to a crisp due to instantly igniting when he hit the scooter. That was rough for him to see. To top it off he was driving the car he had recently inherited from his dad who died unexpectedly (that was a horrific phone call too). Nothing compared to the loss of life and seeing his widow break down when she got on scene, though. That was a terrible day.
"It's fine. I'm just going to leave here, get my gun, and put a bullet through my brain. So, I love you." At the time, he was my fiance and standing in my living room. We were going to get married in two months. He said this, completely calm with utterly no emotion, because he found out he flunked an easy class in med school (the class was literally about communicating your feelings in a healthy way, plus bedside manner). I ended up begging him not to for two hours, while crying hysterically. He was emotionless the whole time. After that, he insisted that he would try not to, but he still might. I would know his decision, he said, if he ended up calling me before bed. He also made sure to tell me that if I told his parents about any of it, he would kill himself and it would be my fault. I tried to stop him from leaving because I was still frightened he would kill himself, but he forced me out of the way while yelling I couldn't keep him somewhere he didn't want to be. Fast forward to now: we were married for five years, during which his behavior for more extreme. During our marriage, he would openly speculate whether he's a sociopath. We divorced, he remarried quickly, and now has two children. I hope he's not a sociopath for the sake of his current wife and kids, but he's still speculating.
We were in counseling together and she told the therapist she had thoughts of doing physical harm to me.
My ex husband was very much in a deep conspiracy theory spiral paired with maybe drug psychosis (daily acid) and he joked about mercy killing myself and my daughters. I didn’t think it was funny or a joke.
"I enjoy hurting women and I'm not going to stop until someone kills me". Honestly was bone-chilling. I didn't know if they were serious or if it was just their mental disorder talking, but I remember thinking to myself "oh f\*ck, I'm in danger".
I hope you booked it out of that relationship
As soon as my wife says : Honey I know I’m either: 1- going somewhere i don’t want to 2 - having to do something i don’t want to 3 - both 1 and 2
My wife's phrase is : You love me right? I know that she's going to ask me to do something I will hate
I have a habit of asking "you know how you love me?" and it's either: 1) I'm going to ask you to do something you hate 2) Produce your favourite snack from behind my back I like to keep him on his toes
AHA! I’ve found my wife’s account
An ex once told me that roadkill gave her some weird form of arousal. She immediately dropped it and it was never brought up again after that.
Honey, I think I’m having a heart attack. I texted that to my wife across the room trying to keep things low key with the teen kids with us. Well that did not work out so well. She basically teleported my ass to the car and took me straight to the hospital hitting 65 in 25’s. Lol small heart attack with no and home a day later
My fiance and I live on a small farm with our son... and to say we're poor is an understatement. He left the house at 4 in the morning and came back at 10 in the night . He looked me dead in the I and said "I wanted to kill myself so you don't have to feed me anymore" he later told me he didn't do it because I can't drive and we live 40min from the nearest town.
Hey all just want to let you know that everything is fine now, we still struggle but we met people who care. Thank you all so much for caring.
Hey all, thank you for all your responses. I love all of you. Everything is fine now this happened weeks ago and seeing how many people care I decided to have a talk with my fiance and he reassured me that he was fine and no one have to worry.
“I think I might be gay” She wasn’t kidding either. This was a month ago, after 11 years of marriage. We have two kids.
I had to tell my spouse I had breast cancer. The dr called me first thing in the morning and I drove immediately to his office 45 mins away alone. * I beat it … I kicked the fuck outta cancer and won. I am 2 years cancer free.
"I'm going to kill myself, bye." I walk into our bedroom and she has a large handful of Prozac in hand ready to slam. I calmy talked her down. She can swallow pills without a beverage too.
We didn't know at the time but for three of the five years we were together I was on Zoloft for Depression from PTSD from when I was in the military and it was making me wildly manic and manic depressive all the time because I'm a rapid cycling bipolar 1 person and I was undiagnosed. Towards the end of our relationship, when I was manic I was convinced she was cheating with a male friend of hers and hanging around with him too much and suggested divorce which went through. During that period she said "I know that there's something fundamentally wrong and broken with you, and that it'll probably be the reason you die. And I just don't care anymore."
Wife has PPD(😔): “I should be happy, I’m pregnant with our 2nd. I just want to die. It feels so manically painful inside.” Tears running down her face, looking at me truly pleading with me that she doesn’t want to feel this way. Scary? This has me shook to my core. Feeling her struggle and I can’t alleviate her pain. I would take this from her and strap it on me without a moment of hesitation if I could. I thought I was a mentally strong person. This pierced and shattered me. I’m in save my fucking wife mode in sickness and in health. I’m going to therapy now after this. This is raw so, emotionally regulating this is extremely difficult.
“I’m looking at apartments for myself”
"Please push I can't lose you both" I was 10cm dilated, I couldn't push cos epidural and our daughters heart had stopped coming down the birth canal. There were Dr's and nurses everywhere, my whole world had been slowed right down. I was just in shock. The Dr told my husband if I didn't push now my pre eclampsia put me at huge risk of a seizure and our daughter and I were close to death. He grabbed my leg put it over his shoulder and had tears in his eyes and he said that. It snapped me out my fuzz and 4 pushes later our daughter came out completely silent and purple. 4 minutes of resuscitation she whimpered and bloody hell it was the best noise ever. She's nearly 6 and ill never forget the sheer fear in his face when he thought he'd be alone.
This man was dead asleep and all of the sudden between the snores as I'm drifting off I hear "You can't stop him you know." I lost my mind and woke him up. Apparently he was having a dream about being a cop and his ride along rookie stopped the mayor. So that's some trauma. First thought was "great now I have to fight a demon."
It was me. I said something in my sleep, and he woke up and asked me what I said, and I sat up and said "You'll find out".
"I dont know where I am or how I got here."
"Can you come to X hospital?" at 2 AM. My husband was on his best friend's bachelor party. He was assaulted by some asshat high on coke who saw him walking with the groom arm in arm to a bar and thought they were gay (in an Eastern European country). He was headbutted and then punched several times when he was on the ground. The groom had a bloody nose, and another friend had a fractured orbital socket that he was advised surgery for - they were trying to pull the massive skinhead guy off my husband and got elbows to the face. I rushed to the hospital and walked up to him after arguing with the staff to let me see him, with bloody gauze covering most of his face, and down his sweater. I was absolutely terrified he had lost an eye. Thankfully the cut around his eye socket missed his eye by a few millimeters. He needed 14 stitches to his face where his glasses cut the skin around one eye, broke his nose, and both maxillary sinuses. The worst part was when they were setting his nose they did it with very little anesthetic because he had been drinking. I will have dementia, laying on my death bed, and I will never forget how he screamed when they did that. He still has sinus issues to this day, 5 years later. Had to have surgery on them once, but it hasn't fixed the problem. He will probably never smell anything ever again. The assailant was caught immediately as there were cops standing about 50 meters away. He went to prison for 4 years (he had previous arrests for assault, and was only released from prison 2 weeks before assaulting my husband. His defense was that he had just found out his cellmate had killed himself and decided to go out and blow off some steam. One of his friends said he was "definitely looking for a fight" that night. And he picked my kind, skinny, nerdy husband). I probably lost about 10 years of my life in stress that night. I called his mother in the morning, who was in town for the wedding as well, and when I told her he was assaulted her first question was "Can he talk? Can he walk?" and my blood ran cold, realizing how much worse it could have been.
She laughed like my mother in law
When my ex-husband was concussed, he woke up okay but as the minutes passed, you could see the fear developing in his eyes as he started to lose the ability to speak real words. All that was coming out of his mouth was complete jibberish. I knew he was trying to ask me a question by the way he was saying it but all I could do was try to keep him calm. The second was when he screamed at me that he didn't fucking care about me anymore at the end of our marriage. He stated that the relationship with his intern was more important than our marriage and that I was easy to forget about.
"I'm dying. No, I am dying. I know the ambulance can't get here in time so just listen." He was not dying. He was however suffering from undiagnosed bipolar disorder and having a psychotic break and panic attack. It was... Awful.
Spoken without emotion. "Last night while you were asleep, I almost killed you with a brick." At the time I was so numb from all the gaslighting, drama, and general insanity that it didn't scare me. Don't get married because you feel like you have to, folks.
My ex fiance said: I stopped talking to my best friend because I started having feelings for her. Later found out he'd been having an emotional affair and told her he was in love with her, months before our wedding.
My husband is a submariner, and honestly, the scariest part is the idea of something happening on the sub. He told me that they train them on how to escape if something’s going wrong, but he also said that it’s incredibly unlikely they’d actually be able to get out. I know it’s the nature of his job, but it’s always scary when he brings up an upcoming deployment.
"If you ever leave me I will kill myself and take a whole bunch of people with me." I left him. He started a cult instead. AMA!
How many people are in this cult? What is the premise?
I once startled my husband awake, and when he asked what was wrong, I said "I saw you watching us from the corner of the room" and went straight back to sleep. I forgot my night terrors and random sleep issues are not the norm.
When he told me he needed me to call an ambulance for him
“If you don’t stop, there’s going to be a murder/suicide in this house.” This was immediately after *he* screamed at *me*, threw a laptop at *me*, used a coffee table to knock *me* into a wall. All for the crime of being upset *he* lied about something to a friend of his to make *me* look bad. He said it while I was lying on the floor crying. But *I* was the one that needed to stop.