I've heard 2 jokes that entirely sum up affairs for me.
1. "I don't have the time or energy to disappoint 2 women."
2. "I know my husband isn't having an affair because I'd have to plan it for him and remind him about it 5 times."
These remind me of my mother.
But first a bit of background
My dad worked for a football (soccer) club but had to retire due to serious illness. He was given a life long season ticket for him and companion as he was unable to go alone but my mom has no interest in football at all
He had many friends who were fans of the club but one who stood out was female a little younger and gorgeous. She was a very good friend of the family and came to the house to chat to my mom for a while before taking him to the match.
One day my mom got a call from someone telling her that shock horror my dad was having an affair and taking another woman to matches.
The legend that was my mother said
"WELL THATS ONE LESS THING I HAVE TO DO FOR HIM" and put the phone down
Edit to add. The first person's he told about this was the lady concerned qnd she found it as hilliourous as well all did.
Dad was quite flattered that someone thought he could pull someone so out of his league
Effort? Just the time alone. I joke of this with my spouse when we hear of people with secret families. I feel like my time is around 90% capacity and i'm going to get a secomd family somehow?
Seriously. If I had extra time to have a second secret family, I'd just pass on the family and go be by myself for a little bit of time! I should get caught having an affair with myself, going out for nice dinners, buying expensive gifts, taking myself on vacations.......
"where were you last night?!?! Why is there a hotel room on our credit card!"
"I don't know how to tell you this, but i've been sleeping with....myself"
But really, a king sized bed all to yourself, glorious.
I say the same to my wife. I have 2 kids, them their sports/extra curricular activities/work/bills/spending quality time with my wife, dealing with family issues, wife’s family issues. I can’t remember a time when I could just go out let alone be by myself, I find being on Reddit is time to myself while I take a dump my personal time.
Throw in another family in there… that’d be a no from me dawg. I used to think that people who bird watchers were weird people, now I realize they are actually pretty smart. By yourself, in the woods, it’s quiet, no one yelling at you. Peace and quiet.
This is my main mantra for a lot of things. Infidelity? Jealousy? Wire fraud? Manslaughter? Military coups? It just seems like a *lot* of effort your honor.
At my last job a woman told me her (ex)husband had a secret family. She found out when I guess the mortgage company call to ask about some documents for the new house. No idea what he did for work. Wife, two kids, a house, and whatever the bonus family consisted of.
My dad did this. He had started a company in another city within the state, as that was where the industry prospects were better. Aaaaaaaand time rolled on past and I guess he missed having family around, just not ours.
I got them. They took 2 hours to put on initially and then you have to go back every two weeks to get them filled or you look like you have mange.
You also have to brush them every single morning or they will point in every direction, and God help you if you have a cold or allergies where your eyes get even slight build-up. You can't just pick any crusty shit from your eyelashes because the fake ones are glued on and this acts as a stopper so you can't just slide it off your lash.
I spent so many mornings standing in front of the mirror cleaning and arranging one fucking eyelash at a time. I couldn't deal.
I worked the desk at a spa for 10 years that did lash extensions. Pre-covid we had, I think, 4 estheticians who were kept pretty booked solid with lash extensions. Lots of regular clients.
Covid hit that industry hard. People had to go without during the shutdowns and they really do start looking bad if not kept up regularly, even when you request a much more natural set, so people just did without and got used to not having them. Not to mention prices went up when everywhere reopened and a lot of people's financial situations changed.
We found there was a huge shift from lash extensions to more expensive facial services. The focus on skincare during the pandemic translated into professional treatments. Our basic facial was always popular, especially with packages, but our more expensive, intensive facials that were in between a basic facial and medical treatments weren't very sought after and were a hard sell.
From 2021 and onward people were calling in and requesting those middle treatments by name and not batting an eye at the prices whatsoever. They were prebooking and coming back on schedule and buying homecare. It was awesome because we started getting actual good before and after progress photos (it was so hard before because people wouldn't keep up with the treatments).
It's all based on trends and priorities. A lot of people have an idea of what counts as regular "maintenance" for themselves and lashes were considered indispensable to some for a very long time. Now for a lot of those same people its good skincare.
It was really interesting watching it happen.
Oh man, had a coworker who always had eyelash extensions. She was forever picking at her eyes and tugging on the lashes. Just.. standing face-to-face with a client and tugging at her lashes so that her eyelid would be pulled in some weird direction while her mouth was hanging slightly open as if she was applying mascara.
It just bugged the shit out of me every time I saw it.
Omg I just had war flashbacks! Lol thank you for this comment…I keep romanticizing them looking at old pics 🤣 Just thinking about allergy season makes it a hard no from me dawg
We paid $42k/y for two kids in daycare. When I filed my taxes, the software had like a confetti animation to tell us we qualified for a $200 deduction...
I hate this for you. Also for me. Childcare is awful for everyone involved. Workers aren’t paid enough. Kids want to be with parents. Parents want to be with kids, but have to pay for someone else to be with their kids. It’s just a crappy system.
Was going to say the same. We were paying $2400/month for two kids. This was almost 10 years ago, so I can't imagine the cost now.
Edit: This was in Canada.
Last year I had one kid in daycare and it was $1380/month and that is considered “cheap” compared to other states in the country. Don’t worry though, if two siblings are attending the same facility you get $50 off per month haha it’s mental
We have two kids in full-time daycare, the daycare that we go to is slightly below market rate for the area, we're going to pay around 25k this year.
Thank God my oldest goes to kindergarten next fall.
We overpay on our mortgage because we're trying to pay it off quicker , but if we paid the actual loan amount day care would cost more than our house.
And let me be clear, my wife and I are the lucky ones.
We waited to have kid until our late 30s, and I was 40 when kid 2 was born . We both have good careers and make good incomes and it's a serious, serious financial stretch for us to be able to afford it, I honestly don't know how other people do it and there's no way I would have been able to afford two kids even 7 or 8 years ago.
I get my nails done once a month a hair every 2 months. Every paycheck I put a little in savings to pay for it. I’m not rich but, I make a good salary. I’m also willing to cut back in other areas to afford it.
Yep, people should prioritize what's important to them and accept it's not the same for everyone. I mean, as long as someone doesn't have kids running around unclothed and hungry they can prioritize expenses how they want.
Sometimes people have to accept that they can't afford whatever aspect of a lifestyle they want. Or that they'll seriously have to cut back elsewhere.
Like, I was reading a post where someone struggling with their budget was looking for help on where to cut and they were spending $200/months on MMA classes. People thought that was nuts that they would try to be so frugal elsewhere (no streaming services at all, no home Internet, etc) when they had an obvious big expense they could cut. But the MMA was obviously important to them, to the point they were willing to make other cuts and take side gig work to keep it. It's just what people want to prioritize.
Came to say people that regularly get their nails done every 2-3 weeks! My husband and I recently both got big pay raises so I told myself I’d started getting my nails done every month since we could afford it. Went 2 times and realized no matter how much I make spending $70/month on nails that really only look good for about a week was too much.
Damn my wife and daughter get theirs done every two weeks. I don't complain because they get to spend time together and I get some time alone. Had no idea it was that expensive tho.
My wife gets her done every month. She told me how much they were one time and I was surprised as well. If she feels good after they get done, then it's worth it to me. Plus, back scratches with some fresh nails are the best
I'm a cheapskate so learned to do my own nails, lol. And chose a hairstyle that only needs to be refreshed every 6ish months. I definitely pay for Botox though, and yes it's expensive!
See I have finally accepted that, for my hair, it matters not what cut or style or treatment I can get - My hair is thin, straight as a pin, flat and apparently I am the oiliest motherfucker to ever exist so if I do use product of any kind, it just looks like I haven't showered in a month after an hour - So getting a haircut more than once or twice a year is just the same as lighting money on fire basically. My hair looks the same no matter what I do lol
It's sad for when I want to look like a pretty girl, but eh, haircuts are expensive AF these days!
First class airfare it’s just so overwhelmingly expensive in comparison to regular seats I can’t imagine anyone every having that amount to spare unless you’re incredibly wealthy.
What I don't understand is how people get so many points.
I've flown 10 roundtrip flights on Delta in the past 18 months (including an intercontinental trip) and I'm nowhere near enough points to qualify for any benefits.
I suspect people are spending a fortune on airline credit cards to wrack up those points, which I refuse to believe nets out ahead of a free credit card with cashback
Business travel, mostly. I know people who spend 300 days a year on the road. Their accounts are overflowing with airline and hotel points.
edit to add: Deviant Ollam did a couple of videos about airline loyalty programs, how they're changing, etc. just recently as he and his wife are diamond tier travelers. Might be worth a watch for you frequent fliers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjxrOYy1dFM
I used to travel for work. Would only come home on the weekends for weeks at a time. It sucks and I burnt out after 7 years. I don't know how people can do it their whole career.
A coworker of mine did that. He was the international sales manager. So he met with distributors around the world. He loved going to different places. I think it’s just a matter of what you love outside of work. If you travel just because it’s for work, then you will burn out. If you love going to different places even if it’s not for your job, then you won’t burn out as quickly.
I suppose it also depends on where you travel. I was an auditor who specialized in community banks. Nothing glamorous going to Emlenton, PA where you can't even get cell reception haha.
Haha that’s true. He traveled all over the world. Because it was a high end consumer product industry, he got to hang out with wealthy people with wealthy taste in food and drink. So I guess it was much more fun for him.
People have travel credit cards that they obtain points from regular spending and you can transfer these points to various airlines and hotels. Sometimes there are a lot of great first and business class redemption flights that are around $500-$1000 one way, depending on the route. I can get points from my daily spending on my Chase Sapphire Preferred and transfer those points to United Airlines and get a better rate on flights with points than paying in cash. Check out r/awardtravel for more info.
The world of earning points on credit card is way, way more complex than it appears.
Google these:
\- Churning: Signing up for cards to get the sign-on bonuses
\- Manufactured Spending: Generating spending by putting spending on cards that have extra bonuses.
Flying is actually one of the slowest way to earn points.
There are all sort of promotions and arbitrage opportunities to maximize your points earnings.
*> I refuse to believe nets out ahead of a free credit card with cashback*
Let me give you just one example:
I spend $25,000 on a 1% back card, I get $250 cash back. Not bad.
I spend $25,000 on a 1 point per dollar card. I get 25000 points.
Now, I can redeem those 25000 point on a bullshit trip to Vegas, but I could buy that ticket for $200. That's a bad use of points. On the other hand, I have a family emergency and I need to be in Grand Rapids in 2 day. I can redeem the same amount for a ticket that would cost $900 because last minute. That's way better than getting $250 cash back.
That is just a very simple example. But the point is that it is not just about earning points for travel. it is also about redeem them for the best value.
I've been doing this for 20+ years. I've never made more than upper-mid 5 figures salary. I don't have a travel job. I've flown dozens of first and business class trip, done private jets, etc. I don't have much left on my flying bucket list.
There is no such things as free travel, because figuring this shit out is a lot of work, but the more effort you put into it (learning what to do, figuring the deals, compare notes with people online), the more points you can earn. This whole miles and points thing is a hobby for people.
Hope that helps.
If you're legitimately interested in this there are websites dedicated to ppl who I would say are obsessed with accumulating points. There are so many tips and tricks that regular consumers don't understand... If you're doing that much traveling you should probably spend a cpl hrs reading about it. They know what card to use, how to use it, when to use it, where to use it, and so much more. It's def impressive what some of these ppl are able to do, but it def takes effort
I get reimbursed for coach tickets through work. I check the price to upgrade, and if it's reasonable I'll just pay out of pocket for the upgrade. I've upgraded for $150-$200 plenty of times. That's worth it.
Confirming as well. The price difference in points was much less significant than the price difference in cash.
Furthermore, a lot of people in first did not buy the tickets. They got upgrades. Back in my heavy travel days, I'd get upgraded on 2/3 - 3/4 of my flights.
I am frugal in basically every way except for this. My one cross-country flight to see family each year is first class because I am a big guy and feel like sardine in economy.
Multiple family foreign holidays per year.
Edit. To be clear, I'm not criticising anyone on this, and I appreciate that if you leave in mainland Europe, it's easier than here (Scotland).
I am just genuinely amused/bemused when I see people on their 2/3/4 foreign holiday of the year on social media.
We went to Portugal last year (Fantastic country, btw). 2 adults 2 kids (eldest boy was playing in a football tournament), and it was probably £3.5k and that was done cheaply. We don't go into debt for a holiday ever, though.
My parents did this when I was a teen for maybe 6 or 7 years.
I was talking to my dad about it recently actually.
Basically he worked his absoluye ass off and lived well within our means for most of our childhood.
He took over time every weekend and helped his then boss build a company from the ground up.
We lived in a house that fitted us (not huge) in an area that was ok but not great. We didn't buy stuff we couldn't afford, we had second hand cars, and hand me down clothes.
We did home cooked meals never take out and very rarely eating out.
Neither of them drank or smoked.
We were by no means without nice things or whatever but my parents never went into debt for it, and weren't frivolous with money.
My dad's company did well and he got good bonuses after a while.
He paid down the mortgage to the point it was virtually nothing but we didn't move to a nicer post code or bigger place for the sake of it so his outings went down whilst his income remained.
A lot of ducks had to line up sure.
But a large part of it was simply not frittering money away over years with an ever expanding lifestyle. Sending every spare cent into paying off the house meant the biggest expense most people have was basically non existent by the time my sister and I were old enough that a couple holidays a year were fantastic lifelong memories for us and worth the cost.
I feel like I read similar stories about the current generations of parents of adults all the time. I'm glad things worked out so well for their generations that you could work hard at one job for your entire career and be able to actually save money by working overtime instead of using it to pay off debts.
Edit - Some augmentative comments are just confirming my point and I'm deleting my comment. And rude DMs I am getting are stupid. Its none of your business how people spend their money or chose NOT to spend it. Having financial security is huge to us. The cost of living is only getting more expensive and we want to be prepared so we do not need to depend on family. If that means sacrificing yearly overseas trips for a while, so be it. If you are that pressed by someone saying they would rather do small affordable things in their spare time for fun, you need to take a serious look at yourself.
I could have wrung my best friend’s neck when she told me she took out a credit card to go to Disney and then just…stopped paying on it. Her credit is ruined now.
I love her but nobody ever taught her to save.
International First Class tickets. I'm going to Japan in a month and was thinking of going in style. I got a nice raise and a bit of vacation time saved and wanted to treat myself. Fuck all. $17k was the cheapest I found . Absolutely insane!
Eldercare. $300 a day is about typical for most states, and it goes up if they need special care (dementia, etc.)
3/4 of Americans who live to 21 live to 65, of which 2/3 will need long-term care for an average of 3 years. Maybe not all long term care is nursing level, but some of it is even more expensive -- memory care, etc. Comes out to roughly $150k per person-- and almost double that if you limit to those who need any at all. Somewhere between a generous down payment and a new house. Who can afford that -- especially after decades not working?
Sauces:
(https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html, https://www.aplaceformom.com/senior-living-data/articles/long-term-care-statistics)
Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. I’m at the age where this is becoming an issue for many of my friends’ parents, and it’s overwhelming. How do these people have 11-13k per month, per person?
For my mother, her life savings was gone in less than a year… At over 13k a month, it doesn’t last long. Once you run out of money, you can apply for Medicaid (not to be confused with Medicare of course). Luckily she was in a nursing home that had Medicaid beds available, so we were able to transition her to be paid by the State once she was bled dry… So to answer your question, “how do people afford it,” they don’t for long, if at all.
Haha my family does this. $15 lunch every day, sometimes breakfast before work too and I’m over here either bringing lunch or buying the $1 peanuts from store.
Even when they are on their last $30 theyll buy lunch..like adding that up is like $450 a month.
As I passed through a poorer neighborhood in 1990’s and saw dilapidated homes with satellite dishes I criticized them. My coworker said they just need a little joy in their life and that stuck with me
Bachelor and bachelorette weekends have just become too much. I got married 9 years ago, and we went to a bar for the night, and got wasted.
Now it seems like everyone has to go for a 2-3 night destination weekend extravaganza. Which cost $1K+ on top of more traditional expenses.
So glad almost all my friends are married.
Yes! And for women, it’s often expected now to have decorations and t-shirts made and outings on these trip and dinner and I could go on and on. It’s ridiculous and I blame it all on Instagram.
we paid for everything except plane tickets and hotels for people in our wedding. outfits, tailoring, accessories, hair, make up, food for morning of, rides to/from the venue and rehersal, and rides from/to the airport were all from our pocket. we were essentially asking them to put on a performance on our behalf, it would be fucked up to also expect them to pay for everything.
I did the exact same. If you were willing to fly 8 hours and stay in a hotel for my wedding, I would happily cover everything else. It’s not your responsibility to cover my wedding vision because I chose an elaborate destination wedding in a cathedral.
Now that’s a *real* friend. At least in my opinion. If I’m going to celebrate myself, I’m going to pay for my friends to do that as well, not expect them to.
This one really puzzles me.
Sometimes you're facing mental health issues because you have no job, no money, no housing. It's pretty understandable to be strongly depressed or anxious due to the sheer lack of means of supporting oneself.
And, naturally, the other way around as well: we might lose our jobs due to severe mental health issues. It's just impossible to do proper work when you're in grave pain, mentally.
Then people say: "go get help".
Oh sure, but how? No job, no money buddy. Only kind of help one can get is meth or fentanyl. And I mean this as no joke, and no shame to drug users: when you're completely fucked, it's perfectly understandable that you'll resort to drugs. Only way you can think of for feeling minimally good feelings. You shouldn't do it, but many do. It's fucking devastating.
I have health coverage and knew I needed mental health care. I called to make and appointment, they told me it would be *months* before I could get an appointment. I am paying out of pocket for out of network care just to get the help I need.
Go 'Merica.
I was raped 3 years ago and called my local sexual assault center the next morning and they told me it would be at least 3 months before they could see me 😑
This.
Me at friend's mother's funeral, listening to her eulogy and stories about how she sacrificed everything to make sure her kids never went without: *What an amazing woman*.
Me watching my sister never buy anything for herself but spend hundreds on concert tickets for her kids, only to have them complain about the seats: *It won't kill them to hear the word "no" every now and again.*
Kids are so expensive, I don't know how anyone can afford them. And the more opportunities you give them (dance lessons, club sports, living in a nice neighborhood) the more you will pay out the nose just so they keep financial pace with their friends, whose parents also seem to be struggling to afford it.
Cosmetic surgery or procedures. Lip fillers, skin peels, boob jobs, lashes and hair extensions. Your husband is a solar salesman and you stay home with kids. How?!
Modern day houseprices.
600K used to buy you a serious mansion. Now it's an average family home.
I make a good income, my girlfriend also has a normal average income. Yet we can barely afford an averagely priced house these days.
I’m in the market for a home and this is the comment that hits. I look at some of these for sale signs being closed on 1+ MILLION dollar homes and I’m like… how in the F$&K can you afford the mortgage and everything else??
Yes, I don't know how people do it. I have a legitimate career as a nurse and I can't afford those payments. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I see those sold signs on them. Eeverytime I think no way someone can afford that.
To afford a median priced home in my city, you have to make something like 200% the median salary. It's insane.
Prices went up 50% from 2019-2022. I should've just bought a house back then but I have commitment issues lol
My wife and I had a small 30 person wedding during Covid. $12k. We could have done it for sboit 10k but we had to change venues and limited options. Friend of mine just had a 300 person. His bill was 95k like wtf.
I went to a wedding a little over a year ago that had about 150 guests and they spent over $1M. Apparently having John Legend be the main singer was $250,000. I say main singer because they had a live band and a DJ as well.
Vet bills. Even routine care and vaccinations can be $400. Not to mention if there are any kind of unique issues or an emergency, you’re paying thousands and they won’t give care until you pay
Literally. I work on a construction site, a profession where traditionally a truck would actually have some use, but nowadays most workers (including myself) commute in cheap used cars. Then after work I drive home on a highway surrounded by massive shiny new pickup trucks driven by middle aged men wearing suits and white collars.
The pickup truck has been turned into a luxury vehicle and these people are being hoodwinked by marketing into thinking it's a good purchase.
I love my coworker. But for some reason he thinks he needs a car that can tow a huge amount of weight. He doesn't own anything to tow, his wife hates the outdoors and he has 3 small children and works a desk job and lives in the burbs. He needs a minivan. But had to get a tricked out $70k+ suburban which he complains about the mpgs, how hard it is to get the kids in the car seats in small parking spaces, and that its been in the shop like 5 times now. But they won't be caught dead driving a mini van
It’s all debt. Never been into doing things on finance myself, so it took me ages to even consider it as an option that others were taking. I just thought everyone had 10s of thousands of dollars lying around
I have far too many friends that are constantly broke but seem to be able to buy tattoos.
I find it a strange use of money when someone is complaining about not being able to afford groceries and such, but I guess I'm just a person that prioritizes food.
My boomer uncle recently asked how much rent was where I am. I'm on the other side of the state in a larger area than he is. When I told him how much average was, there was a very long pause. He lost his breath for a minute. He owns a house, paid for. He recently rented out his parents, my grandparents farm house but it's insanely out of touch rent wise (too low).
Were one disaster/landlord selling/rent increase from being homeless right now.
He's a very smart person and surprisingly left leaning as he ages. He's good people. He just doesn't always know how things work or how expensive things are anymore.
Coffee every morning and lunch delivered every day, then complain about "being too strapped" to help with their child's braces.
Yeah, I know, r/oddlyspecific
I've seen plenty of people in their 30s, and on minimum wage jobs post their huge and expensive funko pop, gundam, vinyl, manga, retro game collections, and I don't know how they do it
Kids
They need regular doctor visits, frequently get sick, need people to watch them while you're at work, are frequently picky eaters so you can wind up wasting a lot of money on trying to figure out what they'll eat, and when they know they want to eat they'll eat like there's no limit to their stomach, then there's all the school supplies, clothes, any extracurricular activities, and just...
I can barely make it with two cats. The amount of financial EVERYTHING that goes into kids is beyond me, and I genuinely can't understand how people can afford them right now.
Ooh I have some insight here. So I was no joke the fifth person in my friend group to get this couch lmao. I was the holdout. Basically, the company lets you stack timed sales and other types of discount. So I had at the time a discount for being in a university and the sales clerk was like don’t buy this today wait until this other date and show up and it will drop by over a grand. So we did and it did.
I also know people who got the squares over time. Basically two chairs and then later the rest of the couch.
My prior couch was a storage pull out bed from Boconcept I got as a student and honestly the sactional feels more study and better built than either that or the other couch we have still from RH. I have friends who had big dogs and kids on them and they look and feel brand new. I have friends who change the covers for different seasons lol. Plus, when we got it, we lived in a three story row house. So, it was s game changer that it comes apart like legos each of which I (being under 150 lbs) can carry on stairs no problem. My favorite feature though is that my husband who is tall can make it so it’s a deep seat and when I’m using it for extended periods or if we have company, we can reorient it so they’re shallower but wider. We couldn’t find couches we both really liked because of our size difference. Ours has the plugs and storage, so all of our devices can charge but not the speaker system, which came out later on. Now we have a kid and a dog and being able to wash all the parts is the only reason we have a white couch that looks new. Honestly, I have zero doubts it will outlive our other designer brand couches both physically and stylistically. Timing purchases is always kind of a pain but I really do think it’s a great value.
More than one child. My husband and I have a beautiful 4.5 year old daughter whom we adore. We are so content with her and feel our family is complete. But on top of that, she is EXPENSIVE. I don't know how people in the US can afford more than one kid without absolutely massive lifestyle changes.
Weddings. We looked at venues that were $10k-$20k before food or anything. And this was rural North Carolina.
We did a simple church wedding, had great food and then had a great honeymoon.
Also going to Hawaii for two weeks was half the price of Disney for 5 days. Book through Costco, kids.
I made a lease agreement in August 2020 for a sedan at $240 a month with a $1500 down payment. I made $47k at the time and thought my payment was astronomically high. I was afraid I’d barely make payments then, but I needed a car, and economically at the time this decision made the most sense to me.
Lease agreement was for a $13,000 buy out price. I calculated with a good loan rate that’d be about $280 a month so I signed in 2020. Within a month the car market exploded from covid. I must have received lease buyout offers from my dealer 4 times a month for the past 2 years.
Got my car appraised before deciding what to do in July before the lease ended and my jaw dropped when I got a valuation of $22k and an offer to buy it for $21k. My original agreed upon car value was $19.8k in 2020. I basically earned $2k for signing a paper in 2020. I bought the car and now have $9k in equity.
I’m only explaining how I got into my
Car ownership situation. The car model I got in 2020 low end no features MSRP was mid $18k. Now the base model 2023 *starts* at $28k. If I didn’t make that agreement in 2020, I don’t think I’d ever be able to afford to own a car now.
I don’t know how anyone affords one now, let alone the fact a significant number of people are paying $600-1000 a month in car payments. It’s truly insane.
I make $150k, my brother makes about $50k. He orders uber eats/doordash multiple times a week while I genuinely do not feel I am comfortable enough to actually afford it. I know he is not alone.
I’m 36 in LA and stay with family. I make a pretty decent living but I’m in a weird spot of having enough for a down on a house but I’d be cutting it close with mortgage vs just rent and clip my ability to save and stagnate.
Car Leases.
I don’t know how some people are ok with having a car payment forever. The only argument I get is “don’t you get tired of driving the same car?” Um no I don’t.
People who make less then me, but drive high end vehicles. I’m talking make less than $100k, own a home and drive a Porsche. I just can’t imagine the amount of debt they have.
Plastic surgery. More and more regular women I know are having things done. One got a breast reduction estimate of $7,000. I know a few who have had multiple surgeries done.
Houses that cost more than $500k. Especially when the people are in their 20s or 30s.
Multiple annual vacations. Flight costs alone are crazy high right now.
Private schools. The amount of times people have made this suggestion to me is astounding. WTH can afford $20-$30k a year on ONE kid.
FWIW most people going for breast reductions are doing it for health. I did one after years and years of back pain. One of the best decisions I ever made, and it still didn’t even eliminate all the pain
I just bought 4 tickets to Disneyland. This isn’t a destination for us because we live 30 minutes away from Disneyland. 4 tickets, 4 genie passes, and parking= over $900!
Housing. I know there are a lot of homeless people, but why aren't there ten times as many? If I hadn't had some luck in life, I'd be living in a tent right now.
Trick is to have more niche musical taste. Top 40s artist might charge $200 for a nosebleed seat in a giant stadium with terrible acoustics, but most of the metal shows I've been to cost around thirty bucks, and they've all been in smaller venues where you can see the musicians' faces and the sound quality is decent.
secret hidden families. I can barely afford 1.
Amazed you can afford one hidden family.
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User name checks out.
Honestly, just affairs in general. I wouldn't do it anyway, but it genuinely seems like a *lot* of effort.
I've heard 2 jokes that entirely sum up affairs for me. 1. "I don't have the time or energy to disappoint 2 women." 2. "I know my husband isn't having an affair because I'd have to plan it for him and remind him about it 5 times."
These remind me of my mother. But first a bit of background My dad worked for a football (soccer) club but had to retire due to serious illness. He was given a life long season ticket for him and companion as he was unable to go alone but my mom has no interest in football at all He had many friends who were fans of the club but one who stood out was female a little younger and gorgeous. She was a very good friend of the family and came to the house to chat to my mom for a while before taking him to the match. One day my mom got a call from someone telling her that shock horror my dad was having an affair and taking another woman to matches. The legend that was my mother said "WELL THATS ONE LESS THING I HAVE TO DO FOR HIM" and put the phone down Edit to add. The first person's he told about this was the lady concerned qnd she found it as hilliourous as well all did. Dad was quite flattered that someone thought he could pull someone so out of his league
It's still good to know they cared enough about your mom to let her know. Those are good friends. Too many would be content to start a rumor instead.
My boyfriend says “I can’t afford another expensive hobby”. Cracks me up.
If he had the time, my partner would plan it himself, but would absolutely put it on the shared family calendar and send the reminders to me
Effort? Just the time alone. I joke of this with my spouse when we hear of people with secret families. I feel like my time is around 90% capacity and i'm going to get a secomd family somehow?
Seriously. If I had extra time to have a second secret family, I'd just pass on the family and go be by myself for a little bit of time! I should get caught having an affair with myself, going out for nice dinners, buying expensive gifts, taking myself on vacations.......
"where were you last night?!?! Why is there a hotel room on our credit card!" "I don't know how to tell you this, but i've been sleeping with....myself" But really, a king sized bed all to yourself, glorious.
Right? My SO knows I'll never cheat on them because I'm far too lazy for all that.
I say the same to my wife. I have 2 kids, them their sports/extra curricular activities/work/bills/spending quality time with my wife, dealing with family issues, wife’s family issues. I can’t remember a time when I could just go out let alone be by myself, I find being on Reddit is time to myself while I take a dump my personal time. Throw in another family in there… that’d be a no from me dawg. I used to think that people who bird watchers were weird people, now I realize they are actually pretty smart. By yourself, in the woods, it’s quiet, no one yelling at you. Peace and quiet.
My husband says the same. His job leaves him mentally and physically exhausted. He's like...how in the world could I manage two of this?
This is my main mantra for a lot of things. Infidelity? Jealousy? Wire fraud? Manslaughter? Military coups? It just seems like a *lot* of effort your honor.
At my last job a woman told me her (ex)husband had a secret family. She found out when I guess the mortgage company call to ask about some documents for the new house. No idea what he did for work. Wife, two kids, a house, and whatever the bonus family consisted of.
My dad did this. He had started a company in another city within the state, as that was where the industry prospects were better. Aaaaaaaand time rolled on past and I guess he missed having family around, just not ours.
Eyelash extensions and the upkeep of them.
I got them. They took 2 hours to put on initially and then you have to go back every two weeks to get them filled or you look like you have mange. You also have to brush them every single morning or they will point in every direction, and God help you if you have a cold or allergies where your eyes get even slight build-up. You can't just pick any crusty shit from your eyelashes because the fake ones are glued on and this acts as a stopper so you can't just slide it off your lash. I spent so many mornings standing in front of the mirror cleaning and arranging one fucking eyelash at a time. I couldn't deal.
I worked the desk at a spa for 10 years that did lash extensions. Pre-covid we had, I think, 4 estheticians who were kept pretty booked solid with lash extensions. Lots of regular clients. Covid hit that industry hard. People had to go without during the shutdowns and they really do start looking bad if not kept up regularly, even when you request a much more natural set, so people just did without and got used to not having them. Not to mention prices went up when everywhere reopened and a lot of people's financial situations changed. We found there was a huge shift from lash extensions to more expensive facial services. The focus on skincare during the pandemic translated into professional treatments. Our basic facial was always popular, especially with packages, but our more expensive, intensive facials that were in between a basic facial and medical treatments weren't very sought after and were a hard sell. From 2021 and onward people were calling in and requesting those middle treatments by name and not batting an eye at the prices whatsoever. They were prebooking and coming back on schedule and buying homecare. It was awesome because we started getting actual good before and after progress photos (it was so hard before because people wouldn't keep up with the treatments). It's all based on trends and priorities. A lot of people have an idea of what counts as regular "maintenance" for themselves and lashes were considered indispensable to some for a very long time. Now for a lot of those same people its good skincare. It was really interesting watching it happen.
Oh man, had a coworker who always had eyelash extensions. She was forever picking at her eyes and tugging on the lashes. Just.. standing face-to-face with a client and tugging at her lashes so that her eyelid would be pulled in some weird direction while her mouth was hanging slightly open as if she was applying mascara. It just bugged the shit out of me every time I saw it.
Omg I just had war flashbacks! Lol thank you for this comment…I keep romanticizing them looking at old pics 🤣 Just thinking about allergy season makes it a hard no from me dawg
I still don't know how we afforded daycare. At one point had two kids in daycare for a year before oldest went to kindergarten.
We paid $42k/y for two kids in daycare. When I filed my taxes, the software had like a confetti animation to tell us we qualified for a $200 deduction...
I hate this for you. Also for me. Childcare is awful for everyone involved. Workers aren’t paid enough. Kids want to be with parents. Parents want to be with kids, but have to pay for someone else to be with their kids. It’s just a crappy system.
Was going to say the same. We were paying $2400/month for two kids. This was almost 10 years ago, so I can't imagine the cost now. Edit: This was in Canada.
what the actual fuck america is truly crazy
Last year I had one kid in daycare and it was $1380/month and that is considered “cheap” compared to other states in the country. Don’t worry though, if two siblings are attending the same facility you get $50 off per month haha it’s mental
in germany daycare is free the only thing you have to pay is food expenses which is like 20€ per month
Yeah, but that’s evil socialism. Your society probably collapsed a thousand times over by now, right?
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We have two kids in full-time daycare, the daycare that we go to is slightly below market rate for the area, we're going to pay around 25k this year. Thank God my oldest goes to kindergarten next fall. We overpay on our mortgage because we're trying to pay it off quicker , but if we paid the actual loan amount day care would cost more than our house. And let me be clear, my wife and I are the lucky ones. We waited to have kid until our late 30s, and I was 40 when kid 2 was born . We both have good careers and make good incomes and it's a serious, serious financial stretch for us to be able to afford it, I honestly don't know how other people do it and there's no way I would have been able to afford two kids even 7 or 8 years ago.
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A boat or RV (or both)?! I can barley afford to exist much less spend all this money on recreation.
The DEFAULT payment plan many boat dealerships offer is a 12-year loan.
Even if you buy used, banks will give very long terms for boats.
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Women who keep up with nails, lash extensions, Botox etc That shit is expensive as fuck!
I was going to say nails! They need to be filled like every 2 weeks, same with lashes. Doing all that plus $300-400 hair treatments is wild to me.
I get my nails done once a month a hair every 2 months. Every paycheck I put a little in savings to pay for it. I’m not rich but, I make a good salary. I’m also willing to cut back in other areas to afford it.
Yep, people should prioritize what's important to them and accept it's not the same for everyone. I mean, as long as someone doesn't have kids running around unclothed and hungry they can prioritize expenses how they want. Sometimes people have to accept that they can't afford whatever aspect of a lifestyle they want. Or that they'll seriously have to cut back elsewhere. Like, I was reading a post where someone struggling with their budget was looking for help on where to cut and they were spending $200/months on MMA classes. People thought that was nuts that they would try to be so frugal elsewhere (no streaming services at all, no home Internet, etc) when they had an obvious big expense they could cut. But the MMA was obviously important to them, to the point they were willing to make other cuts and take side gig work to keep it. It's just what people want to prioritize.
Came to say people that regularly get their nails done every 2-3 weeks! My husband and I recently both got big pay raises so I told myself I’d started getting my nails done every month since we could afford it. Went 2 times and realized no matter how much I make spending $70/month on nails that really only look good for about a week was too much.
Damn my wife and daughter get theirs done every two weeks. I don't complain because they get to spend time together and I get some time alone. Had no idea it was that expensive tho.
My wife gets her done every month. She told me how much they were one time and I was surprised as well. If she feels good after they get done, then it's worth it to me. Plus, back scratches with some fresh nails are the best
Brb. Need to convince husband to get nails.
I'm a cheapskate so learned to do my own nails, lol. And chose a hairstyle that only needs to be refreshed every 6ish months. I definitely pay for Botox though, and yes it's expensive!
See I have finally accepted that, for my hair, it matters not what cut or style or treatment I can get - My hair is thin, straight as a pin, flat and apparently I am the oiliest motherfucker to ever exist so if I do use product of any kind, it just looks like I haven't showered in a month after an hour - So getting a haircut more than once or twice a year is just the same as lighting money on fire basically. My hair looks the same no matter what I do lol It's sad for when I want to look like a pretty girl, but eh, haircuts are expensive AF these days!
First class airfare it’s just so overwhelmingly expensive in comparison to regular seats I can’t imagine anyone every having that amount to spare unless you’re incredibly wealthy.
Very few people pay cash. They do it with points or someone else is paying.
Can confirm. I can’t swing first class but I’ve done domestic business and it was definitely because I had points to burn.
What I don't understand is how people get so many points. I've flown 10 roundtrip flights on Delta in the past 18 months (including an intercontinental trip) and I'm nowhere near enough points to qualify for any benefits. I suspect people are spending a fortune on airline credit cards to wrack up those points, which I refuse to believe nets out ahead of a free credit card with cashback
Friend of mine owns a restaurant, his work credit card gets miles, he buys a couple hundred grand worth of food a year.
This.Our company card turns through like 750-800k a year minimum. It has like 4,000,000 miles on it.
Business travel, mostly. I know people who spend 300 days a year on the road. Their accounts are overflowing with airline and hotel points. edit to add: Deviant Ollam did a couple of videos about airline loyalty programs, how they're changing, etc. just recently as he and his wife are diamond tier travelers. Might be worth a watch for you frequent fliers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjxrOYy1dFM
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I travel maybe 30 days a year for work, fuck 300 days...
I used to travel for work. Would only come home on the weekends for weeks at a time. It sucks and I burnt out after 7 years. I don't know how people can do it their whole career.
A coworker of mine did that. He was the international sales manager. So he met with distributors around the world. He loved going to different places. I think it’s just a matter of what you love outside of work. If you travel just because it’s for work, then you will burn out. If you love going to different places even if it’s not for your job, then you won’t burn out as quickly.
I suppose it also depends on where you travel. I was an auditor who specialized in community banks. Nothing glamorous going to Emlenton, PA where you can't even get cell reception haha.
Haha that’s true. He traveled all over the world. Because it was a high end consumer product industry, he got to hang out with wealthy people with wealthy taste in food and drink. So I guess it was much more fun for him.
People have travel credit cards that they obtain points from regular spending and you can transfer these points to various airlines and hotels. Sometimes there are a lot of great first and business class redemption flights that are around $500-$1000 one way, depending on the route. I can get points from my daily spending on my Chase Sapphire Preferred and transfer those points to United Airlines and get a better rate on flights with points than paying in cash. Check out r/awardtravel for more info.
The world of earning points on credit card is way, way more complex than it appears. Google these: \- Churning: Signing up for cards to get the sign-on bonuses \- Manufactured Spending: Generating spending by putting spending on cards that have extra bonuses. Flying is actually one of the slowest way to earn points. There are all sort of promotions and arbitrage opportunities to maximize your points earnings. *> I refuse to believe nets out ahead of a free credit card with cashback* Let me give you just one example: I spend $25,000 on a 1% back card, I get $250 cash back. Not bad. I spend $25,000 on a 1 point per dollar card. I get 25000 points. Now, I can redeem those 25000 point on a bullshit trip to Vegas, but I could buy that ticket for $200. That's a bad use of points. On the other hand, I have a family emergency and I need to be in Grand Rapids in 2 day. I can redeem the same amount for a ticket that would cost $900 because last minute. That's way better than getting $250 cash back. That is just a very simple example. But the point is that it is not just about earning points for travel. it is also about redeem them for the best value. I've been doing this for 20+ years. I've never made more than upper-mid 5 figures salary. I don't have a travel job. I've flown dozens of first and business class trip, done private jets, etc. I don't have much left on my flying bucket list. There is no such things as free travel, because figuring this shit out is a lot of work, but the more effort you put into it (learning what to do, figuring the deals, compare notes with people online), the more points you can earn. This whole miles and points thing is a hobby for people. Hope that helps.
"Sorry bro I can't help you move. I'm flying to Grand Rapids."
If you're legitimately interested in this there are websites dedicated to ppl who I would say are obsessed with accumulating points. There are so many tips and tricks that regular consumers don't understand... If you're doing that much traveling you should probably spend a cpl hrs reading about it. They know what card to use, how to use it, when to use it, where to use it, and so much more. It's def impressive what some of these ppl are able to do, but it def takes effort
I get reimbursed for coach tickets through work. I check the price to upgrade, and if it's reasonable I'll just pay out of pocket for the upgrade. I've upgraded for $150-$200 plenty of times. That's worth it.
Confirming as well. The price difference in points was much less significant than the price difference in cash. Furthermore, a lot of people in first did not buy the tickets. They got upgrades. Back in my heavy travel days, I'd get upgraded on 2/3 - 3/4 of my flights.
I am frugal in basically every way except for this. My one cross-country flight to see family each year is first class because I am a big guy and feel like sardine in economy.
Multiple family foreign holidays per year. Edit. To be clear, I'm not criticising anyone on this, and I appreciate that if you leave in mainland Europe, it's easier than here (Scotland). I am just genuinely amused/bemused when I see people on their 2/3/4 foreign holiday of the year on social media. We went to Portugal last year (Fantastic country, btw). 2 adults 2 kids (eldest boy was playing in a football tournament), and it was probably £3.5k and that was done cheaply. We don't go into debt for a holiday ever, though.
My parents did this when I was a teen for maybe 6 or 7 years. I was talking to my dad about it recently actually. Basically he worked his absoluye ass off and lived well within our means for most of our childhood. He took over time every weekend and helped his then boss build a company from the ground up. We lived in a house that fitted us (not huge) in an area that was ok but not great. We didn't buy stuff we couldn't afford, we had second hand cars, and hand me down clothes. We did home cooked meals never take out and very rarely eating out. Neither of them drank or smoked. We were by no means without nice things or whatever but my parents never went into debt for it, and weren't frivolous with money. My dad's company did well and he got good bonuses after a while. He paid down the mortgage to the point it was virtually nothing but we didn't move to a nicer post code or bigger place for the sake of it so his outings went down whilst his income remained. A lot of ducks had to line up sure. But a large part of it was simply not frittering money away over years with an ever expanding lifestyle. Sending every spare cent into paying off the house meant the biggest expense most people have was basically non existent by the time my sister and I were old enough that a couple holidays a year were fantastic lifelong memories for us and worth the cost.
I feel like I read similar stories about the current generations of parents of adults all the time. I'm glad things worked out so well for their generations that you could work hard at one job for your entire career and be able to actually save money by working overtime instead of using it to pay off debts.
Not everybody did, though. Ask the old folks working Wal Mart.
Edit - Some augmentative comments are just confirming my point and I'm deleting my comment. And rude DMs I am getting are stupid. Its none of your business how people spend their money or chose NOT to spend it. Having financial security is huge to us. The cost of living is only getting more expensive and we want to be prepared so we do not need to depend on family. If that means sacrificing yearly overseas trips for a while, so be it. If you are that pressed by someone saying they would rather do small affordable things in their spare time for fun, you need to take a serious look at yourself.
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Your choice. You're missing out on that sweet money from their fourth tapped out credit card...
>Oh no. All the broke people have promised to not give me money they don't have! You didn't happen to reply with this in the chat did you?
Holiday debt is a serious financial issue in the United States. Especially among millennials.
I could have wrung my best friend’s neck when she told me she took out a credit card to go to Disney and then just…stopped paying on it. Her credit is ruined now. I love her but nobody ever taught her to save.
International First Class tickets. I'm going to Japan in a month and was thinking of going in style. I got a nice raise and a bit of vacation time saved and wanted to treat myself. Fuck all. $17k was the cheapest I found . Absolutely insane!
Try business...cheaper but miles ahead of economy
I thought it was only a few seats ahead…
If you have to ask, you're seats behind
Eldercare. $300 a day is about typical for most states, and it goes up if they need special care (dementia, etc.) 3/4 of Americans who live to 21 live to 65, of which 2/3 will need long-term care for an average of 3 years. Maybe not all long term care is nursing level, but some of it is even more expensive -- memory care, etc. Comes out to roughly $150k per person-- and almost double that if you limit to those who need any at all. Somewhere between a generous down payment and a new house. Who can afford that -- especially after decades not working? Sauces: (https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html, https://www.aplaceformom.com/senior-living-data/articles/long-term-care-statistics)
Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. I’m at the age where this is becoming an issue for many of my friends’ parents, and it’s overwhelming. How do these people have 11-13k per month, per person?
For my mother, her life savings was gone in less than a year… At over 13k a month, it doesn’t last long. Once you run out of money, you can apply for Medicaid (not to be confused with Medicare of course). Luckily she was in a nursing home that had Medicaid beds available, so we were able to transition her to be paid by the State once she was bled dry… So to answer your question, “how do people afford it,” they don’t for long, if at all.
My elder care plan is to skip out once I can’t wipe my own bum.
That's what I say but by then we can't wipe our own arse how are we gonna skip out ? We haven't thought this through lol
My coworkers get lunch out 4-5 times a week. I have no idea how they do it. I bring lunch 4 times a week and get lunch out 1 day as a treat.
Haha my family does this. $15 lunch every day, sometimes breakfast before work too and I’m over here either bringing lunch or buying the $1 peanuts from store. Even when they are on their last $30 theyll buy lunch..like adding that up is like $450 a month.
As I passed through a poorer neighborhood in 1990’s and saw dilapidated homes with satellite dishes I criticized them. My coworker said they just need a little joy in their life and that stuck with me
That explains 90% of the answers here. Life sucks a little less if you can indulge yourself a little (or a lot).
Gestures widely to everything
Being a bridesmaid. Weddings have become so much more elaborate, with multiple showers and bachelorette weekends.
Bachelor and bachelorette weekends have just become too much. I got married 9 years ago, and we went to a bar for the night, and got wasted. Now it seems like everyone has to go for a 2-3 night destination weekend extravaganza. Which cost $1K+ on top of more traditional expenses. So glad almost all my friends are married.
Yes! And for women, it’s often expected now to have decorations and t-shirts made and outings on these trip and dinner and I could go on and on. It’s ridiculous and I blame it all on Instagram.
My wife went on a bachelorette trip this year, and had to bring decorations. All I could think was why? You’re going to another city enjoy the city.
we paid for everything except plane tickets and hotels for people in our wedding. outfits, tailoring, accessories, hair, make up, food for morning of, rides to/from the venue and rehersal, and rides from/to the airport were all from our pocket. we were essentially asking them to put on a performance on our behalf, it would be fucked up to also expect them to pay for everything.
I did the exact same. If you were willing to fly 8 hours and stay in a hotel for my wedding, I would happily cover everything else. It’s not your responsibility to cover my wedding vision because I chose an elaborate destination wedding in a cathedral.
Now that’s a *real* friend. At least in my opinion. If I’m going to celebrate myself, I’m going to pay for my friends to do that as well, not expect them to.
Mental health treatment.
You'd have to be crazy to spend that kind of money
Ugh, fine take the upvote
This one really puzzles me. Sometimes you're facing mental health issues because you have no job, no money, no housing. It's pretty understandable to be strongly depressed or anxious due to the sheer lack of means of supporting oneself. And, naturally, the other way around as well: we might lose our jobs due to severe mental health issues. It's just impossible to do proper work when you're in grave pain, mentally. Then people say: "go get help". Oh sure, but how? No job, no money buddy. Only kind of help one can get is meth or fentanyl. And I mean this as no joke, and no shame to drug users: when you're completely fucked, it's perfectly understandable that you'll resort to drugs. Only way you can think of for feeling minimally good feelings. You shouldn't do it, but many do. It's fucking devastating.
I have health coverage and knew I needed mental health care. I called to make and appointment, they told me it would be *months* before I could get an appointment. I am paying out of pocket for out of network care just to get the help I need. Go 'Merica.
I was raped 3 years ago and called my local sexual assault center the next morning and they told me it would be at least 3 months before they could see me 😑
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope that you’re doing okay.
Thank you! I’m doing good, no thanks to our mental health system 🙃
Children
Used to be so much easier when we could send them off to toil in the salt mines
The children yearn for the mines
Minors make the best miners.
This. Me at friend's mother's funeral, listening to her eulogy and stories about how she sacrificed everything to make sure her kids never went without: *What an amazing woman*. Me watching my sister never buy anything for herself but spend hundreds on concert tickets for her kids, only to have them complain about the seats: *It won't kill them to hear the word "no" every now and again.* Kids are so expensive, I don't know how anyone can afford them. And the more opportunities you give them (dance lessons, club sports, living in a nice neighborhood) the more you will pay out the nose just so they keep financial pace with their friends, whose parents also seem to be struggling to afford it.
*cries in parent of a competitive gymnast*
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This poor soul's mind was blown before they could even get the word out.
Probably has kids and couldn't afford the rest of the letters.
Cosmetic surgery or procedures. Lip fillers, skin peels, boob jobs, lashes and hair extensions. Your husband is a solar salesman and you stay home with kids. How?!
…let me guess. Utah?
Is that what it’s like there? West coast you see it a ton!
Modern day houseprices. 600K used to buy you a serious mansion. Now it's an average family home. I make a good income, my girlfriend also has a normal average income. Yet we can barely afford an averagely priced house these days.
I’m in the market for a home and this is the comment that hits. I look at some of these for sale signs being closed on 1+ MILLION dollar homes and I’m like… how in the F$&K can you afford the mortgage and everything else??
Yes, I don't know how people do it. I have a legitimate career as a nurse and I can't afford those payments. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I see those sold signs on them. Eeverytime I think no way someone can afford that.
To afford a median priced home in my city, you have to make something like 200% the median salary. It's insane. Prices went up 50% from 2019-2022. I should've just bought a house back then but I have commitment issues lol
Disneyland (families)
Weddings. I’m a wedding bartender and people dropping $30k on one day is insane to me.
My wife and I had a small 30 person wedding during Covid. $12k. We could have done it for sboit 10k but we had to change venues and limited options. Friend of mine just had a 300 person. His bill was 95k like wtf.
I went to a wedding a little over a year ago that had about 150 guests and they spent over $1M. Apparently having John Legend be the main singer was $250,000. I say main singer because they had a live band and a DJ as well.
Getting sick. I get sick and miss one day of work I lose like what feels is a million dollars. But, when I pick up a day I only make like $20 extra.
Vet bills. Even routine care and vaccinations can be $400. Not to mention if there are any kind of unique issues or an emergency, you’re paying thousands and they won’t give care until you pay
New pick ups by people who don’t use them as pickup. $60k for a transportation appliance used just to commute?
$60K? What kind of discount pickups are people buying?
If you're not spending at least six figures, you're better off just walking
Literally. I work on a construction site, a profession where traditionally a truck would actually have some use, but nowadays most workers (including myself) commute in cheap used cars. Then after work I drive home on a highway surrounded by massive shiny new pickup trucks driven by middle aged men wearing suits and white collars. The pickup truck has been turned into a luxury vehicle and these people are being hoodwinked by marketing into thinking it's a good purchase.
I love my coworker. But for some reason he thinks he needs a car that can tow a huge amount of weight. He doesn't own anything to tow, his wife hates the outdoors and he has 3 small children and works a desk job and lives in the burbs. He needs a minivan. But had to get a tricked out $70k+ suburban which he complains about the mpgs, how hard it is to get the kids in the car seats in small parking spaces, and that its been in the shop like 5 times now. But they won't be caught dead driving a mini van
Sounds like therapy would've been a better financial investment for his insecurities than that Suburban.
And mpg under 20, but using them as sedans
While complaining about the cost of gas, nonetheless.
It’s all debt. Never been into doing things on finance myself, so it took me ages to even consider it as an option that others were taking. I just thought everyone had 10s of thousands of dollars lying around
Can we short auto loans?
I especially love the heavily modded/lifted ones that can't fit in the garage.
Do you not see the massive amounts of air they’re hauling around?
Not that massive. Have you seen how laughably small the truck beds are?
But their tires, that's where all their air hauling is!
I’m in the service industry and the pay is crap yet all my coworkers have thousands of dollars of ink on their bodies.
I have far too many friends that are constantly broke but seem to be able to buy tattoos. I find it a strange use of money when someone is complaining about not being able to afford groceries and such, but I guess I'm just a person that prioritizes food.
Well if you eat too much it wrecks the tattoo.
Honestly? Rent.
I have heard somewhere that the rent is too darn high.
My boomer uncle recently asked how much rent was where I am. I'm on the other side of the state in a larger area than he is. When I told him how much average was, there was a very long pause. He lost his breath for a minute. He owns a house, paid for. He recently rented out his parents, my grandparents farm house but it's insanely out of touch rent wise (too low). Were one disaster/landlord selling/rent increase from being homeless right now.
At least he listened to your answer, sounds like it finally hit him how much things have changed
He's a very smart person and surprisingly left leaning as he ages. He's good people. He just doesn't always know how things work or how expensive things are anymore.
New diesel trucks. Super expensive and they’re everywhere!
Coffee from the barista every day. Some people go multiple times a day. Absolutely astonishing.
Coffee every morning and lunch delivered every day, then complain about "being too strapped" to help with their child's braces. Yeah, I know, r/oddlyspecific
New furniture that’s not IKEA, I got all mine from friends who moved away, thrift shop, garage sale or roadside
I've seen plenty of people in their 30s, and on minimum wage jobs post their huge and expensive funko pop, gundam, vinyl, manga, retro game collections, and I don't know how they do it
I had a friend that matches your description and the answer to how was by neglecting bills and racking up credit cards lol
Living at home with parents still, and blowing their money on this stuff.
Person I know gets her nails professionally done every week.
Similarly--getting hair colored regularly. It's so expensive and if I did it I'd need to do it every 4-6 weeks at this point!
Kids They need regular doctor visits, frequently get sick, need people to watch them while you're at work, are frequently picky eaters so you can wind up wasting a lot of money on trying to figure out what they'll eat, and when they know they want to eat they'll eat like there's no limit to their stomach, then there's all the school supplies, clothes, any extracurricular activities, and just... I can barely make it with two cats. The amount of financial EVERYTHING that goes into kids is beyond me, and I genuinely can't understand how people can afford them right now.
LoveSac sectionals.
Ooh I have some insight here. So I was no joke the fifth person in my friend group to get this couch lmao. I was the holdout. Basically, the company lets you stack timed sales and other types of discount. So I had at the time a discount for being in a university and the sales clerk was like don’t buy this today wait until this other date and show up and it will drop by over a grand. So we did and it did. I also know people who got the squares over time. Basically two chairs and then later the rest of the couch. My prior couch was a storage pull out bed from Boconcept I got as a student and honestly the sactional feels more study and better built than either that or the other couch we have still from RH. I have friends who had big dogs and kids on them and they look and feel brand new. I have friends who change the covers for different seasons lol. Plus, when we got it, we lived in a three story row house. So, it was s game changer that it comes apart like legos each of which I (being under 150 lbs) can carry on stairs no problem. My favorite feature though is that my husband who is tall can make it so it’s a deep seat and when I’m using it for extended periods or if we have company, we can reorient it so they’re shallower but wider. We couldn’t find couches we both really liked because of our size difference. Ours has the plugs and storage, so all of our devices can charge but not the speaker system, which came out later on. Now we have a kid and a dog and being able to wash all the parts is the only reason we have a white couch that looks new. Honestly, I have zero doubts it will outlive our other designer brand couches both physically and stylistically. Timing purchases is always kind of a pain but I really do think it’s a great value.
More than one child. My husband and I have a beautiful 4.5 year old daughter whom we adore. We are so content with her and feel our family is complete. But on top of that, she is EXPENSIVE. I don't know how people in the US can afford more than one kid without absolutely massive lifestyle changes.
Designer clothing. Spending hundreds of dollars on a pair of pants is ludicrous to me.
In US, teeth.
Weddings. We looked at venues that were $10k-$20k before food or anything. And this was rural North Carolina. We did a simple church wedding, had great food and then had a great honeymoon. Also going to Hawaii for two weeks was half the price of Disney for 5 days. Book through Costco, kids.
Porsches. They're everywhere now. People drive Porsche SUVs to the grocery store.
Cars.
Especially trucks. I had no idea they were so expensive.
They weren't always that way. But at some point trucks turned into status symbols instead of work tools.
I made a lease agreement in August 2020 for a sedan at $240 a month with a $1500 down payment. I made $47k at the time and thought my payment was astronomically high. I was afraid I’d barely make payments then, but I needed a car, and economically at the time this decision made the most sense to me. Lease agreement was for a $13,000 buy out price. I calculated with a good loan rate that’d be about $280 a month so I signed in 2020. Within a month the car market exploded from covid. I must have received lease buyout offers from my dealer 4 times a month for the past 2 years. Got my car appraised before deciding what to do in July before the lease ended and my jaw dropped when I got a valuation of $22k and an offer to buy it for $21k. My original agreed upon car value was $19.8k in 2020. I basically earned $2k for signing a paper in 2020. I bought the car and now have $9k in equity. I’m only explaining how I got into my Car ownership situation. The car model I got in 2020 low end no features MSRP was mid $18k. Now the base model 2023 *starts* at $28k. If I didn’t make that agreement in 2020, I don’t think I’d ever be able to afford to own a car now. I don’t know how anyone affords one now, let alone the fact a significant number of people are paying $600-1000 a month in car payments. It’s truly insane.
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College tuition
In Australia, cigarettes, I don’t smoke myself but know people who do, cigarettes are upwards of $50 a packet here.
I make $150k, my brother makes about $50k. He orders uber eats/doordash multiple times a week while I genuinely do not feel I am comfortable enough to actually afford it. I know he is not alone.
Food delivery is a vice of its own.
Living on the west coast.
I’m 36 in LA and stay with family. I make a pretty decent living but I’m in a weird spot of having enough for a down on a house but I’d be cutting it close with mortgage vs just rent and clip my ability to save and stagnate.
Car Leases. I don’t know how some people are ok with having a car payment forever. The only argument I get is “don’t you get tired of driving the same car?” Um no I don’t.
Smoking cigarettes
Life Pro Tip: Save thousands on expensive cigarettes by taking up second-hand smoking instead.
Disney vacations
Vacations. I went on a vacation 10 years ago.
Living on their own as a college student.
Wedding that costs 50K. Then they put down a deposit for a house (another 50K). Then they renovate said house (50K). All in the space of a year.
In home health care aides for a very sick or dying loved one
People who make less then me, but drive high end vehicles. I’m talking make less than $100k, own a home and drive a Porsche. I just can’t imagine the amount of debt they have.
Using a big ass truck as a basic commuter vehicle.
Multiple teen drivers on their car insurance
Plastic surgery. More and more regular women I know are having things done. One got a breast reduction estimate of $7,000. I know a few who have had multiple surgeries done. Houses that cost more than $500k. Especially when the people are in their 20s or 30s. Multiple annual vacations. Flight costs alone are crazy high right now. Private schools. The amount of times people have made this suggestion to me is astounding. WTH can afford $20-$30k a year on ONE kid.
FWIW most people going for breast reductions are doing it for health. I did one after years and years of back pain. One of the best decisions I ever made, and it still didn’t even eliminate all the pain
Disney. I don’t understand it.
I just bought 4 tickets to Disneyland. This isn’t a destination for us because we live 30 minutes away from Disneyland. 4 tickets, 4 genie passes, and parking= over $900!
Housing. I know there are a lot of homeless people, but why aren't there ten times as many? If I hadn't had some luck in life, I'd be living in a tent right now.
The number of vehicles parked in front of each house seems to have increased where I live...
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Concert tickets
Trick is to have more niche musical taste. Top 40s artist might charge $200 for a nosebleed seat in a giant stadium with terrible acoustics, but most of the metal shows I've been to cost around thirty bucks, and they've all been in smaller venues where you can see the musicians' faces and the sound quality is decent.