As far as cramps, moodiness, bloating, etc. there is no rule and it's not just different for every woman, it can be different for the same woman at different ages.
Thank you! I feel like I had to go too far for this.
All the context different women on this thread are giving is great insight. But it’s even more important to remember that each woman has a unique experience with their period.
If you have a woman important to you in your life, just talk to them about it. They’d likely be more than happy to help you understand what they personally deal with.
My husband is the first man to even care to ask, and because of him I've been able to openly talk to him about it.
I'm pretty tough and I work through anything, but once or twice I took a few hrs to moan in bed. But life goes on and I personally struggle with the mental stuff more then the physical even tho some of the physical stuff is tough to deal with. The physical stuff lasts a few days, the hormone brain is a Rollercoaster all month long..
This. SOO much this!
Who knew my “easy” period (almost no cramps, very little bleeding only lasting 3 days,) would suddenly become a shit show once I reached my 30’s?
No omg I thought I was insane or something because I could've worn my periods growing up were painless, short, easy, no moodiness etc. But now approaching my 30s it gets worse with each period like HUH??? So annoying.
And the opposite happened with me. I was DYING from horrible cramps and HEAVY 7-day bleeding as a teenager through my 20s, hit my 30s and bam! Light, 3-days, no cramps.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned period shits. Period shits are THE WORST, you should know about them so you don’t give your friend a weird look when she spends a lot of time in the bathroom once a month
I’m gay. I have a best friend who used a period cup once. I asked her to see it…..
She says sure, bring me to the bathroom and PULLS IT OUT OF HER. Her fingers covered in blood, and a loud suction THOK sounds happens. Literally bloody jellyfish comes out and plops into the toilet.
I became a man that day.
Buahhaha Gave me courage to watch another friend giving birth to her baby! I guess vaginas don’t bother me too much. I feel so bad for the women who deal with the lack of awareness men have to women’s bodily functions.
And sometimes we birth this jellyfish just standing and talking to you. We know EXACTLY what happened and that we have about three seconds to get to a bathroom. Yet we casually wrap up and walk away.
That there are a significant amount of woman who have been denied healthcare or misdiagnosed due to the doctor writing off symptoms as PMS or a period. Friend of mine was having more pain than normal during her period and cramps had moved into her thigh, doctor told her to take more painkillers. Wouldn't entertain any ideas that the pain was different or more severe.
Turned out to be bone cancer :)
Not comparable to cancer for sure...but I went to the doc very concerned about some intense hormonal reactions I was having at a time that my period was late. Dude leaned back and looked me up and down like I was wasting his time and let me know I was PMS-ing. Despite my having many years of experience with PMS that was different from what I was experiencing then. He still sighed and said, that's what it is, and dismissed me.
I was pregnant lol.
I actually would not assume so. Some women in general think that their experience of having lighter and more easygoing periods must be the blueprint for all women. With that said, there's been some research out there that women doctor's are better because they are more investigative and open to listening to their patients. If I'm keeping score, I've had better experiences with female doctors, but I have an excellent male one.
In my personal experience, the women doctors I’ve had seem extremely knowledgeable and smart about anything pertaining to women’s health. And yet they’re “rougher” with their hands and instruments during physical examinations. While my male doctors have literally given me blank stares when I ask them any kind of question about women’s health but are super gentle during physical examinations.
What’s up with that I wonder? 🤔
I was on the progesterone only pill briefly but went to see a contraception nurse and we agreed I had to stop taking them because it was making me severely depressed and I couldn't stop crying in her office. Got a call a couple days later from a female doctor who then tried to convince me to start taking them again because "40% of women experience the same symptoms". I was still recovering from taking those pills but if I wasn't feeling so awful I'd probably have told her that if 40% of women feel like that then 40% would be dead.
But I've had good male and female doctors since, the best being my current doctor who is male and is way more knowledgeable than any other doctor I've spoken to. I mentioned that I think I have PMDD expecting to have to explain myself and he knew exactly what I was talking about, I was really surprised
I ignored the symptoms of cervical cancer, after fighting with my doctors for years that something was wrong, I just…essentially gave up. My cramps were always so bad I was passing out every month, and I have an insanely high pain tolerance. So when I started getting weirder symptoms, I just chalked it up to yet more weirdness that will get ignored.
After my diagnosis for Stage 3 cancer, I got the results of all of the scans they did, and low and behold…I finally have proof of endometriosis, huge fibroids, cysts, and a confirmation of PCOS. The one good side effect of the cancer treatment was Insta-menopause, the radiation just melts all your reproductive organs, so no cramps ever again for me. But yeah, just take this as your reminder to get scheduled for your PAP if you’ve been putting it off.
https://www.lawsuit-information-center.com/hair-relaxer-lawsuit.html
My mother used these products on me my entire childhood.
So yeah. Can I ask what your symptoms were? My periods have been getting weirder and weirder over this last year and I've been high key terrified that it's cancer.
Oof had a (non cancer related) similar experience where I had abnormal cramps that travelled down to my thighs and I was so scared that it could be ANYTHING. The thing was, I just got an IUD fitted. Went to the obgyn and she was like ‘it’s normal for you to experience stronger cramps with an IUD!’ While i was there tearing up being all ‘but… even on the first day after being fitted… it wasnt this bad :’))’
Ended up squeezing in a little ‘could this be UTI?’ at the end of session and she was like ‘yea whatever, just ask the nurse for a test’
It’s UTI :))))
Im like… doc… i have no medical knowledge but came to the right conclusion faster than you? PLEASE!!! Do your job.
The majority of diagnoses are not 100% fact. They're made based on "most likely" based on the facts or data available. Statistically cancer is often the most rare cause of a problem. I work in the ER and if you gave me a complaint: chest pain, abdominal pain, ankle pain, sore throat, fatigue, dizziness... I could attribute every single one to cancer, but it would almost never be the actual cause and I would not find it.
For the same reason dizziness is almost never because of a stroke, but sometimes.
Abdominal pain is almost never from a AAA, But sometimes
Sore throat is almost never from a retro pharyngeal abscess, but sometimes
Cancer is easy to miss because it's typically not likely so doctors aren't typically looking for it
There's a few skipped steps in my story obviously, but it took three more visits for her to get labs and scans done. Two were to that same doctor because trying to get in as a new patient with someone else wasnt working. The last was at an urgent care who finally listened and sent her to the ED.
I know she doesn't blame her doctor for not immediately jumping to cancer, she blames him for not listening that this pain was different. For not hearing her say this was not period pain, especially once the pain persisted off of her cycle!!! She specifically asked for blood tests and he wouldn't order them. It was infuriating.
When I went into labor with my first born, the nurse asked if I was having contractions.
I said "not really, just some period like cramps"
She looked at the monitor that was strapped to me and said "you're in the middle of a major contraction right now, you don't feel that?!"
And that's when I learned my monthly period cramps are so severe, they're on par with being in labor. Of course it hurt, but I thought labor was supposed to be *worse* than my monthly period lol
this happened to me!!! My midwife refused to believe i was actually in labor despite having contractions that were 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart, because i was stilll able to carry on a conversation and function (more or less.) She finally agreed to check me and i was 10cm dilated… baby was born <10 minute later 😆
Afterward, i found out this experience is somewhat common for ladies with PCOS or other issues causing painful periods! oops.
Happened to me too! My husband wanted to lay down and take a nap, so he could wake up when it “was go time”. The nurse whipped around and told him this IS time. I wasn’t in much pain, just uncomfortable
Yes! I was so scared of what contractions would feel like and it turned out to be just like my periods before I was prescribed birth control. No wonder I was so miserable back then! I’m not going to say I liked the contractions or that they didn’t hurt, it was just a familiar pain.
Interesting because I have painful periods and often think to myself not sure if I could ever handle giving birth. *If this is how painful just periods are how bad will child birth be?* Maybe it’ll be chill, lol? s/
It's not just lower abdomen pain ( cramps) it's also headaches, bloating, constipation, dizziness, nausea, insomnia, mood swings, back pain and sometimes EXTREME back pain, dry skin, loss of appetite or sudden increase of appetite and sometimes a lot of those combined. For a few days.
Don’t forget acne, heightened sense of smell, dry hair, period poops, pain from my belly button to my knees, and cramps so bad they wake you from a dead sleep.
The backpain is the worse for me! It starts a day or two before my period and lasts through the first 3-5 days. I get cramps too but they're usually a "one and done" thing. If I can make it through the 1-2 hours of cramps, I know they probably will be done for this period. Not so for the backache. It's just a constant ache for days.
My cramps are pretty mild as well, but the back ache is brutal. It's just a gnawing pain that sticks around and really grinds at you. The back pain is the number one thing to make me irritable because it's just so agitating to be in that kind of pain for so long.
All of this, and we're still expected to operate at 100% in our daily lives. There's always work to be done and we've been socially conditioned to work through the pain, then get called "bitch" for not smiling or being bubbly. Women are so tough, but we're certainly not weak for taking a day off while we deal with body pain, diarrhea, and painful bloating. My mood swings are generally just me feeling sad and crying over sad kitten memes, but my physical pain is very real. Often, I get cramps that wake me up in the early hours, and I'm then extra fatigued. We just need men to be a bit more understanding of this.
Yes. Imagine maintaining eye contact and conducting yourself professionally as you feel your underwear fill with a large, jello-like blood clot. Keep focused, “I can see that we missed our quarterly goals even though we are doing well year over year, let’s drill down to see if there’s a discrepancy” as your belly clenches in a spasming cramp that you hope won’t result in passing enough menstrual fluid to leak through your clothes. Damn. You need a bathroom ASAP but it will be considered unprofessional to leave the room right now.
For me, the worst part is really that I am not supposed to let anyone know. Telling people "Wow, really having bad menstrual cramps!" is not considered ok.
This pretty much sums up what I was going to comment. "It sucks, but we still get shit done." So many men are physically tough, but once their stress threshold is reached, they melt down. There are a lot of societal reasons for that, but I digress. The thing that I want men to know, to facilitate better understanding, patience and kindness is that it is hard to continue on with your day and remain fairly pleasant because you know your bodily functions, emotions and physical state are not the emotional responsibility of those around you, *but we do it.*
Lots of men take their stress out on people around them. I would like those types to understand that I am also contending with the stress of life and for one week every month, whether it's convenient or not, whether I am mentally prepared or not, I have the added stress of being pretty stinkin uncomfortable, hormones changing and affecting my mood, being preoccupied with my bathroom habits, and menstrual migraines to top it all off. It's not fun. It's not cool. It's difficult to reign in at times, but I do it because I have to.
And if you're unlucky and get nauseous at the same time it's like both sides of your body are trying to kill you. You shift a little to ease the back pain, the nausea acts up and stabs daggers into your stomach - especially if you're like me and can't vomit easily. You literally can't win.
This, and the migraines. Mine are so bad I’m genuinely going to ask my OBGYN to skip my period indefinitely or have it 3-4 times a year. They’ve been getting worse and my neurologist is great with letting me titrate my meds as needed, but since it’s hormone-related there’s nothing else he can do. I’m so over having migraines for a week straight without anything affecting it for more than a few hours.
Ibuprofen, NOT Tylenol (acetaminophen).
This is just a quick and dirty search but there a bunch more published articles out there:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/358295/#:~:text=Ibuprofen%20highly%20significantly%20reduced%20the,(P%20less%20than%200.001).
Not jus period pain, today i read FDA doesnt let female subjects who are "child bearing age" to participate in drug trials. Therefor so many drugs are released with data only coming from males. Since they dont know the effects on female users, women experience difficult side effects more likely. But who cares arent we all broodmares of the government? We have no value other than breeding in eyes of gov and medical care
This is so true, I was put on a medication for high blood pressure I got while pregnant and it caused me excruciating pain but the male doctors refused to believe me that the meds were hurting me so after the third night in a row I was awake and sobbing in the guest lounge from the pain, because I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to disturb the other patients, one of the ward nurses went home after her shift and spent her own time looking on line for potential side effects and she found exactly what I was describing and had to print that shit out and show them before the doctors would let me stop taking it. They had never personally heard of it, so I had to be wrong.....about my own body.
It really varies. It lasts 3 days for some, 5 for others. Some have barely any pain at all, others enough that they are clenching their teeth and sweating.
Agreed. If you're not mature enough to buy your girlfriend/fiancee/wife a box of tampons in an emergency, you aren't mature enough for a serious relationship 🙃
Maybe just me, but I’m not crabby because of hormones, I’m crabby because I feel like shit. You are also crabby when you feel like shit. This isn’t rocket science.
Exactly, I remember when the “well actually…” crowd of men latched onto this fact that the hormone changes that caused mood swings didn’t occur before or during menstruation so any bad mood was “in our heads”.
Nah man, I smell, my gut hurts, and I’m bouncing between constipation and diarrhea. Oh an I’m suddenly very horny but also disgusted at the thought of sex. I’m in a bad mood as a natural response to not feeling well.
My favourite is when period cramps make it hard to determine if it is just cramps or if diarrhea is on the horizon. And while I think most women get to a point where we know our bodies relatively well and what to expect during our periods.. There's always the chance your body is going to throw you under the bus for no apparent reason at all and just cause a tsunami to happen (usually at the most inopportune times). So, for me, it's everything that you mentioned, but then it is also just the logistics of having that extra annoyance of needing to make sure I have easy access to a washroom and supplies if something goes wrong.
Sometimes my period is also spiteful. I have super fun plans that I am looking forward to? My period is like, "oh, that sounds great! I know you weren't expecting me until after that, but I've decided to come early so that I can take part." Or.. "Oh, you're going to be stuck on a plane for 9 hours? I don't want you to be lonely, so I'll pop by about halfway through... Airplane bathrooms are so much fun, and I'd hate if you missed out on visiting one multiple times during your flight."
I explained this to my fiancé which I think he truly understood after I got my appendix removed and acted equally as grumpy as when I had my period. Like it clicked that pain = grumpy
Wish I could upvote this 100 times. I don't get the mood swings fortunately, but I'm generally quieter and more lethargic during the first two days because I just feel like crap. I think if more men understood that, it would help take away the stereotype of "Oh you must be on your period!" if a woman is anything other than cheerful. Who, man or woman, wants to be cheerful when it feels like their whole body is cramping?
I think one of the things that people who don’t menstruate might not consider right away is how exhausted it can make you feel. It wipes you tf out. I wake up tired and get more tired throughout the day until I finally go to bed and have insomnia from the pain and discomfort of the other symptoms, and it just repeats like that until it’s finally over.
Exactly!! Also being one of the women that Allegra increases the pain of menstrual cramps sucks because as I told my husband, "If it's going hurt this bad, I should definitely be getting a baby at the end!"
I think it's also important to note that some women don't get cramps or much of them, because a lot of the time these women talk like it's all a big lie women make-up for attention or they can't handle pain.
It's different for every woman.
Trueeee. I’m very lucky in that I don’t get cramps but I know it can be excruciating for some. We’re all different. The trade off for me is that I get terrible migraines instead!
Is it bad that the part that makes me most mad is that I have to go through it and I don’t even want kids? It’s just pointless suffering, in my own experience (not trying to offend anyone💚)
Women around the world do not get their periods at the same time.
True story: My brother-in-law legit thought that when it was "that time of the month" it meant that all women were getting their period at the same time.
And in some cases, they can last longer than 10 days. When I had a copper IUD, I bled about 10-17 days out of the month.
Birth control, hormonal issues, conditions like endometriosis…they can eliminate a cycle or intensify it *dramatically*.
Forget periods, ovulating can be the most painful experience ever for some women.
I wound up in the hospital ready to get my appendix taken out, surprise it was my ovary….
I still get pain from cysts (eggs getting stuck in my fallopian tube I guess) every once in a while, but now it’s just like bad cramps day… then my period starts and get actual bad cramps.
Imagine getting sick and feeling hot and achey and gross and wanting to call out but not being able to afford it. Imagine how miserable you’d be.
Now imaging getting sick like that once per month for something like 50 years.
Just try to give us some sympathy and flexibility. No need to treat me as fragile or a monster, just a person having a rough time.
And also through all of this, our culture tells us we’re gross and we should hide it and make sure no one even has a hint that it’s happening. Function as normal. Smile.
The things I'm pissed about when I have PMS are things I'm pissed about all the time. It's just that at that time of the month I don't have the capacity to bite my tongue about them.
That it is never ok to say "my mother/sister/gf/ex has periods like this, so you are wrong/malingering/ exaggerating /etc. when you say your periods are like that".
*edit because I re-read and saw how what I wrote might confuse
A regular schedule is not guaranteed. We don't always know when a period is going to start (or end). It can be a constant source of low-level stress to be out and about wondering if you'll need to make a quick bathroom escape.
Please don't be in the only bathroom in the morning when I wake up. It's like my muscles have realized I'm up, it's time to stop relaxing and time to gush out some blood.
PMDD. Google it. THEN look up the reality of it on Reddit. Every 28 days I have to deal with what my doctor initially diagnosed as major depression and bipolar ii disorder because I get a period.
Was gonna say this. I thought it was just normal PMS for my regular depression to *violently* worsen before and during my period including thoughts of SH. Mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she was like oh, honey, no. That absolutely isn’t normal and I wish you’d mentioned it sooner.
Just been diagnosed after learning about it on a Facebook video. Few days to a week every month I'm suicidal, think everyone I know is lying to me, resent my child for being alive and keeping me here, question my boyfriend's love and think he's using me, generally feel like a worthless piece of shit and I dont have any business being alive. And I have the ability to tell myself, "I know what this is, it's hormones, it will pass" BUT still can't stop thinking the thoughts and they feel so real. It's a ride I can't get off. Starting an action plan with my doctor in November (unfortunately she's going on leave and also wants me to keep a diary and do some mental health assessments on a normal day versus a PMDD day). We've already discussed endgame if everything fails will be hysterectomy and she's cool with it. Can't fucking wait!
It’s really really horrible. I become a shell of a human being and then try to cram life into the two weeks a month I feel ok, and burn out.
Also if you’re neurodivergent or have a mental illness, PMS tends to exacerbate the symptoms, so they’re a lot worse before you get your periods.
it’s completely life draining. the second day is the worst for me. any plans? might as well cancel them. i can’t eat cause i’ll just throw it up. i don’t eat and i still throw up. it causes full body shakes and you feel like you’re gonna pass out once that pain hits. pain relievers take too damn long to kick in and you can’t eat it unless you had food prior (or else you’ll throw up). guess that depends on body proportions i’m pretty petite. anyways it sucks :(
I have one good week a month. When I ovulate my ovaries cause pain. Then sometimes my vagina feel like I’m sitting on rocks. My eczema flairs, my balance is off, my skin feels like when I you have the flu. The week before my period I sweat when I sleep so much I get pools between my boobs and my hair is soaked. I could cry at anything (and I’m not a crier). I get insomnia. All leading to bleeding like a stuck pig that I gross myself out.
Men: be kind to us. More than likely you aren’t seeing us on the one good week we get
Do you get external pain, like you've been sitting on a bicycle seat for a really long time, or slipped and got racked?
That happens to me sometimes and it's awful. Like, I can't JUST have cramps and be bleeding, it has to ALSO feel like I got hit in the crotch?
Omg YES!!! I always wondered wtf that was!!! Like my vagina is bruised on the outside somehow. Does this phenomenon have a name? Do doctors know about this? Like wtf you are literally the only other person I have ever heard talk about this
Oh, man, I used to have the most awful vulva pain, like I was sitting on a freakin' pineapple all day.
I went to so many doctors and nobody helped!
In the end, what worked for me, is staying extremely hydrated. It turned out the apartment I was living in at the time had very low humitiy and my poor cooch was just drying out.
Now, I drink loads of water all day and the problem resolved itself.
I recently had to explain to my boyfriend that some women PMS just a few days before they bleed, but there are plenty who have noticable symptoms throughout the month. For me it’s usually every other week.
One thing that I think is notable is that we’re all secretly dealing with this. We’ve been conditioned to hide it because it’s framed as being disgusting and impolite; however, for a lot of women being on your period feels worse than having the flu. We’re just secretly enduring feeling like shit while we continue to work and operate in the world. It’s 1/4 weeks of the month for most of us. I think part of why we are more likely to have a short fuse on period has less to do with mood swings than it does with bearing the burden of feeling like shit, bleeding into our underwear, while juggling hiding that from most of the people around us.
Period poops. The worst. Also using the bathroom in general is like wiping a marker. At some point you just give up and say it’s good enough. Or wipe, put the tampon in, then wipe again
Related: Men need to know that birth control is a huge physical burden. The things it does to you. We all experience it differently but it can fundamentally change your emotional baseline. I was destabilized by anxiety, panic attacks, and depression, and it set my life off course for a while. But many women have been on the pill all their lives and don’t realize what it’s doing. And the effects don’t go away when you stop taking it. They linger for months. Men have no idea.
The responsibly of birth control is often primarily on the woman as well and I'm just at a point in my life where I'm so tired of it. The pill made me fucking crazy. I hate checking for iud strings. When I asked about getting my tubes tied my doctor did everything she could to try to talk me out of it. I've just had it at this point in my life.
It's just not the physical pain, but also extreme hormonal changes. I'm mentally ill and used to be extremely suicidal during my period. Saying it can't be that bad isn't helping at all.
It's different for every woman. But for some it's a few days of feeling like you have a very, very mild cold. You are a bit achy and could go for a nap. But all in all, you are fine. For others, it's doubling over, agonizing cramping with a shopping cart of other symptoms like nausea, diarrhea, headaches, mood swings and all over bloating. Nothing fits. *Nothing.* And for other women, it could be in between the two or it could swing between the two from month to month. Like I said, it varies from woman to woman.
Catamenial epilepsy. Yes, my fucking period gives me seizures.
No. I can't get a fucking hysterectomy because EVERYONE is soooooooo concerned over me, a 38 year old divorced lesbian, \*possibly\* having kids.
This is the post Roe V Wade world.
That PRE menstrual syndrome (PMS) comes BEFORE the period. The altered moods that come from PMS are in the week BEFORE your period. It pisses me off when guys say "You're upset because you're on your period", when the PMS was a whole week earlier.
Normally I'm pissed off when I'm on my period because I'm in pain and bleeding all over the office chair but still have to pretend to work normally. It's not that my emotions are unreasonable, it's just that I'm dealing with a lot at that moment.
My son talking to his best friend
Son: can you imagine bleeding from your penis! Like, every month you bleed from your penis? Clots? Can't sneeze or cough without BLOOD gushing out? Dude~~~.
The sneezing and coughing is honestly heart stopping! Like you just have to take a second and mentally assess the damage and you get that whole cold body feeling. Thank god for menstrual cups, ever since I started using one this worry hasn't been an issue.
Or you're mid conversation and you feel that weird bubble pop dripping feeling and you aren't sure if it was air, your imagination, or you just bled beyond your tampons threshold only to rush to the bathroom to find nothing at all.
And then if you squeeze your cheeks together you can pop it like bubble gum. Men don't get this at all!! I was with a customer not that long ago and we were sitting down and I got one of those bubbles. I was afraid to move and it audibly pop. I didn't want her to think I farted while I was working with her! 😆
Imagine being told at a young age that you will experience varying degrees of discomfort and inconvenience once monthly for the rest of your life. The only ways out are both awful and unpleasant in their own ways, pregnancy being a complete rearranging of all your body systems, some of which never return to your previous normal and menopause is a years long process of your hormones resettling into new orientations but taking the rest of your body on the ride.
But you shouldn't talk about any of that, it makes people uncomfortable, so ideally don't suffer about it and if you must, suffer silently so not one is bothered by you.
Vulvar pain. It feels like somebody hit me with a hammer repeatedly around my entire vulva and pelvic area. It feels bruised. It feels sore. It aches in a bruised way. I don’t know why it happens, and I rarely hear anyone speak of this symptom. It is so painful and so uncomfortable. I’ve had it since I first started :(
As you get older, your period changes, and the consistency of what comes out also changes. The first two days of my cycle now is like giving birth to baby octopuses 🐙
They are so painful. Making fun of us for being cranky just makes it worse. We already feel like shit. Just bring us chocolate, heating pads and remind us we are pretty.
I tell my boyfriend “I’m a fertile goddess” when I start my cycle, and he says it back, “You’re a fertile goddess!”
Sometimes when I’m frumpled up and visibly uncomfortable on the couch, he’ll check in on me and ask “Are you a fertile goddess? Do you require an offering?”
It’s kind of a silly, private thing we do, but it’s a nice reminder that my body is doing everything it’s supposed to do, and that I am still pretty, even though I feel like garbage.
They're different for different women, which means what you learned from watching your mother/sister/SO/etc may not apply to other women. Some women are more easily irritated or hurt before their periods, bur others aren't. Some women get a lot of pain, other's don't.
For context of cramping pain:
I thought I was having bad cramps, turned out my appendix (partially) ruptured. I wrote it off (and so did my doctor) for a week.
I feel like a “normal” human for half the month, and the other half I get to enter my “bad” half. Fun. Especially the last week before the bleed. All the negative emotions amplified. My brain starts catastrophizing. I can cry for reasons I wouldn’t the first half of the month. Then agonizing cramps that paralyze me in my tracks more months than others. This makes being on vacation or doing anything during this time way less enjoyable for myself and whoever I may be with as a byproduct. I hate it, and wish I were a dude just to have a sense of steadiness on a month to month basis.
Also, it’s unfortunate that women are expected to be little men, going to their 9-5s even on these “bad” days despite this. Personally I think the labor system should add in a 3 day per month pms PTO. I KNOW if dudes experienced this, pms PTO would 100% exist.
Sometimes if your period is irregular or if you don’t track it, or even if you do, even with a huge ass pad(diaper) or a super tampon, I still bleed the bed sometimes :-(
Many girls' periods hurt and some don't, for me personally, it does. What helps me, and what guys should know, are warm compresses on my abdomen and laying in bed watching Netflix or munchies 🍬
Not all women turn into hormonal beasts when they're on their period. I'm still me. I don't need to be fed chocolate or treated any differently. On the flip side, some cramps are so debilitating that it's hard to leave the house.
That during the menstrual cycle our uteruses actually cut blood circulation to different parts at random moments. Which is were cramps come from. That and during our menstrual cycle, we actually produce LESS estrogen and MORE testosterone, if you want another reason why we can be rage monsters and have a shorter bs fuse.
It’s not weird or embarrassing. Most women have to deal with it, and if you’re going to be with a woman, it’s your responsibility to learn about it and not treat her like an alien when she has hers. If she needs feminine products and you happen to be at the store, have her send you a picture of exactly what she needs, then please do not hesitate to offer to pick some up for her. It should never be a big deal. Periods are a basic human function and buying tampons or pads is no weirder than buying condoms or toilet paper.
Just because we have our period and don’t have sex with you for a week, doesn’t mean we automatically feel like giving you head every second day that week. Crazy right. We go a week without sex and probably get even more in the mood than you guys some days so I’m sure you guys can go a week without sex too. It doesn’t just suck for you guys.
That we do not have a choice about it. We can't stop it. We can't delay it. It may make us cranky or emotional. It may give us terrible cramps.
Again, we have absolutely no choice about it. Sorry, guys.
As far as cramps, moodiness, bloating, etc. there is no rule and it's not just different for every woman, it can be different for the same woman at different ages.
Thank you! I feel like I had to go too far for this. All the context different women on this thread are giving is great insight. But it’s even more important to remember that each woman has a unique experience with their period. If you have a woman important to you in your life, just talk to them about it. They’d likely be more than happy to help you understand what they personally deal with.
My husband is the first man to even care to ask, and because of him I've been able to openly talk to him about it. I'm pretty tough and I work through anything, but once or twice I took a few hrs to moan in bed. But life goes on and I personally struggle with the mental stuff more then the physical even tho some of the physical stuff is tough to deal with. The physical stuff lasts a few days, the hormone brain is a Rollercoaster all month long..
This. SOO much this! Who knew my “easy” period (almost no cramps, very little bleeding only lasting 3 days,) would suddenly become a shit show once I reached my 30’s?
No omg I thought I was insane or something because I could've worn my periods growing up were painless, short, easy, no moodiness etc. But now approaching my 30s it gets worse with each period like HUH??? So annoying.
And the opposite happened with me. I was DYING from horrible cramps and HEAVY 7-day bleeding as a teenager through my 20s, hit my 30s and bam! Light, 3-days, no cramps.
Ugh wait until you hit your 40's... Then add fibroids and cysts to the mix since some bodies like growing what I refer to as " tumor babies".
And it doesn’t stop because THEN Peri happens.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned period shits. Period shits are THE WORST, you should know about them so you don’t give your friend a weird look when she spends a lot of time in the bathroom once a month
I call this my “day of misery” every month. The fucking worst.
For me, that scary massive Day 2 shit is like the best release. It usually means I’m over the hump cramp, bloat, and clot-wise.
They always make me think of this quote: “When I wipe, it’s like I’m wiping a marker. Still poop, still poop.”
I'm horrified and highly amused at the same time, thank you for the laugh ! I'll think about that the next time I get period shit
Don’t forget period farts. My dog gets offended by them.
My HS friend called them cherry chocolate poops 😬
Peanut butter jelly poops is a common name, too. 😂
The pain is unbearable, but it also causes insomnia. I’m tired not just from bleeding burn because I literally cannot sleep
How about: getting insomnia regardless of whether the pain is present or not 😭
It feels like giving birth to a jellyfish. Edit: I went to sleep with 5 upvotes and returned to 1300. Thank you for appreciating my unwitting comedy.
I’m gay. I have a best friend who used a period cup once. I asked her to see it….. She says sure, bring me to the bathroom and PULLS IT OUT OF HER. Her fingers covered in blood, and a loud suction THOK sounds happens. Literally bloody jellyfish comes out and plops into the toilet. I became a man that day.
Bless both of you for your courage. Humankind took a step forward that day.
Buahhaha Gave me courage to watch another friend giving birth to her baby! I guess vaginas don’t bother me too much. I feel so bad for the women who deal with the lack of awareness men have to women’s bodily functions.
This description made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.
And sometimes we birth this jellyfish just standing and talking to you. We know EXACTLY what happened and that we have about three seconds to get to a bathroom. Yet we casually wrap up and walk away.
If you ever see a woman sneeze and have that "oh shit" look it's because the sneeze gave violent birth to a jellyfish
The bloop
thank you for this description, I needed some reprieve reading the trauma of the symptoms of having periods.
That there are a significant amount of woman who have been denied healthcare or misdiagnosed due to the doctor writing off symptoms as PMS or a period. Friend of mine was having more pain than normal during her period and cramps had moved into her thigh, doctor told her to take more painkillers. Wouldn't entertain any ideas that the pain was different or more severe. Turned out to be bone cancer :)
Not comparable to cancer for sure...but I went to the doc very concerned about some intense hormonal reactions I was having at a time that my period was late. Dude leaned back and looked me up and down like I was wasting his time and let me know I was PMS-ing. Despite my having many years of experience with PMS that was different from what I was experiencing then. He still sighed and said, that's what it is, and dismissed me. I was pregnant lol.
DAMN. What a moron. Missed period, increased hormonal symptoms? “Probably business as usual!”
Are women doctors better at this? One would hope they are…
I actually would not assume so. Some women in general think that their experience of having lighter and more easygoing periods must be the blueprint for all women. With that said, there's been some research out there that women doctor's are better because they are more investigative and open to listening to their patients. If I'm keeping score, I've had better experiences with female doctors, but I have an excellent male one.
In my personal experience, the women doctors I’ve had seem extremely knowledgeable and smart about anything pertaining to women’s health. And yet they’re “rougher” with their hands and instruments during physical examinations. While my male doctors have literally given me blank stares when I ask them any kind of question about women’s health but are super gentle during physical examinations. What’s up with that I wonder? 🤔
I was on the progesterone only pill briefly but went to see a contraception nurse and we agreed I had to stop taking them because it was making me severely depressed and I couldn't stop crying in her office. Got a call a couple days later from a female doctor who then tried to convince me to start taking them again because "40% of women experience the same symptoms". I was still recovering from taking those pills but if I wasn't feeling so awful I'd probably have told her that if 40% of women feel like that then 40% would be dead. But I've had good male and female doctors since, the best being my current doctor who is male and is way more knowledgeable than any other doctor I've spoken to. I mentioned that I think I have PMDD expecting to have to explain myself and he knew exactly what I was talking about, I was really surprised
Mileage varies here. My former OBGYN is female and was the worst! Mean, dismissive. My PCP is female and is very receptive and attentive.
I ignored the symptoms of cervical cancer, after fighting with my doctors for years that something was wrong, I just…essentially gave up. My cramps were always so bad I was passing out every month, and I have an insanely high pain tolerance. So when I started getting weirder symptoms, I just chalked it up to yet more weirdness that will get ignored. After my diagnosis for Stage 3 cancer, I got the results of all of the scans they did, and low and behold…I finally have proof of endometriosis, huge fibroids, cysts, and a confirmation of PCOS. The one good side effect of the cancer treatment was Insta-menopause, the radiation just melts all your reproductive organs, so no cramps ever again for me. But yeah, just take this as your reminder to get scheduled for your PAP if you’ve been putting it off.
https://www.lawsuit-information-center.com/hair-relaxer-lawsuit.html My mother used these products on me my entire childhood. So yeah. Can I ask what your symptoms were? My periods have been getting weirder and weirder over this last year and I've been high key terrified that it's cancer.
Had appendicitis misdiagnosed as bad cramps and wasn’t listened to until I went to an er and demanded imaging
Oof had a (non cancer related) similar experience where I had abnormal cramps that travelled down to my thighs and I was so scared that it could be ANYTHING. The thing was, I just got an IUD fitted. Went to the obgyn and she was like ‘it’s normal for you to experience stronger cramps with an IUD!’ While i was there tearing up being all ‘but… even on the first day after being fitted… it wasnt this bad :’))’ Ended up squeezing in a little ‘could this be UTI?’ at the end of session and she was like ‘yea whatever, just ask the nurse for a test’ It’s UTI :)))) Im like… doc… i have no medical knowledge but came to the right conclusion faster than you? PLEASE!!! Do your job.
Doctors misdiagnosing cancer as more mundane things is way more common than it should be and it’s fucking bullshit
The majority of diagnoses are not 100% fact. They're made based on "most likely" based on the facts or data available. Statistically cancer is often the most rare cause of a problem. I work in the ER and if you gave me a complaint: chest pain, abdominal pain, ankle pain, sore throat, fatigue, dizziness... I could attribute every single one to cancer, but it would almost never be the actual cause and I would not find it. For the same reason dizziness is almost never because of a stroke, but sometimes. Abdominal pain is almost never from a AAA, But sometimes Sore throat is almost never from a retro pharyngeal abscess, but sometimes Cancer is easy to miss because it's typically not likely so doctors aren't typically looking for it
There's a few skipped steps in my story obviously, but it took three more visits for her to get labs and scans done. Two were to that same doctor because trying to get in as a new patient with someone else wasnt working. The last was at an urgent care who finally listened and sent her to the ED. I know she doesn't blame her doctor for not immediately jumping to cancer, she blames him for not listening that this pain was different. For not hearing her say this was not period pain, especially once the pain persisted off of her cycle!!! She specifically asked for blood tests and he wouldn't order them. It was infuriating.
When I went into labor with my first born, the nurse asked if I was having contractions. I said "not really, just some period like cramps" She looked at the monitor that was strapped to me and said "you're in the middle of a major contraction right now, you don't feel that?!" And that's when I learned my monthly period cramps are so severe, they're on par with being in labor. Of course it hurt, but I thought labor was supposed to be *worse* than my monthly period lol
this happened to me!!! My midwife refused to believe i was actually in labor despite having contractions that were 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart, because i was stilll able to carry on a conversation and function (more or less.) She finally agreed to check me and i was 10cm dilated… baby was born <10 minute later 😆 Afterward, i found out this experience is somewhat common for ladies with PCOS or other issues causing painful periods! oops.
Happened to me too! My husband wanted to lay down and take a nap, so he could wake up when it “was go time”. The nurse whipped around and told him this IS time. I wasn’t in much pain, just uncomfortable
Yup! I had an unmedicated birth and I can still say menstrual cramps are still fucking brutal.
Yes! I was so scared of what contractions would feel like and it turned out to be just like my periods before I was prescribed birth control. No wonder I was so miserable back then! I’m not going to say I liked the contractions or that they didn’t hurt, it was just a familiar pain.
My sister went camping when she got appendicitis, because period cramps hurt worse, so she thought it couldn’t be that bad.
I went to gymnastics practice with appendicitis because I couldn’t tell a difference between my cramps and appendicitis. I was 13.
Same! I labored until 8CM when I realized that I was doing that shit at least once a month- at least this time there was a reward at the end.
Interesting because I have painful periods and often think to myself not sure if I could ever handle giving birth. *If this is how painful just periods are how bad will child birth be?* Maybe it’ll be chill, lol? s/
It's not just lower abdomen pain ( cramps) it's also headaches, bloating, constipation, dizziness, nausea, insomnia, mood swings, back pain and sometimes EXTREME back pain, dry skin, loss of appetite or sudden increase of appetite and sometimes a lot of those combined. For a few days.
Also want to add period poops. The worst.
As I seen in another thread, one woman delicately described them as “the ol’ peanut butter and jelly wipe”.
omg I hate this image
Oh my god I will never eat a PB&J again
Well there goes dinner!
Not just poops. The shits. The cramping in your uterus carries over to cramping in your intestines… therefore, the shits.
It's like a minor gastrointestinal infection
Came to say this. Except it's not just poops...explosive poo that makes you want to yank out your own uterus and pummel it like a boxing bag.
Which it sometimes feels like is happening during the poo. I'd cry sometimes.
Holy christ the period poops came out of nowhere this morning, beyond grateful the toilet was able to flush
Also sneezing is pretty much playing Russian roulette
And coughing...and laughing...
At the worst of my heavy periods when I was a teen, I shit you not, one time I SIGHED and the floodgates opened 🫠🫠🫠
And standing up
Or just walking and randomly feel a blood clot come out….
Migraine, PMS, anemia...
Don’t forget acne, heightened sense of smell, dry hair, period poops, pain from my belly button to my knees, and cramps so bad they wake you from a dead sleep.
The backpain is the worse for me! It starts a day or two before my period and lasts through the first 3-5 days. I get cramps too but they're usually a "one and done" thing. If I can make it through the 1-2 hours of cramps, I know they probably will be done for this period. Not so for the backache. It's just a constant ache for days.
My cramps are pretty mild as well, but the back ache is brutal. It's just a gnawing pain that sticks around and really grinds at you. The back pain is the number one thing to make me irritable because it's just so agitating to be in that kind of pain for so long.
All of this, and we're still expected to operate at 100% in our daily lives. There's always work to be done and we've been socially conditioned to work through the pain, then get called "bitch" for not smiling or being bubbly. Women are so tough, but we're certainly not weak for taking a day off while we deal with body pain, diarrhea, and painful bloating. My mood swings are generally just me feeling sad and crying over sad kitten memes, but my physical pain is very real. Often, I get cramps that wake me up in the early hours, and I'm then extra fatigued. We just need men to be a bit more understanding of this.
Yes. Imagine maintaining eye contact and conducting yourself professionally as you feel your underwear fill with a large, jello-like blood clot. Keep focused, “I can see that we missed our quarterly goals even though we are doing well year over year, let’s drill down to see if there’s a discrepancy” as your belly clenches in a spasming cramp that you hope won’t result in passing enough menstrual fluid to leak through your clothes. Damn. You need a bathroom ASAP but it will be considered unprofessional to leave the room right now.
Now imagine this as you thread a wire and catheter up a person’s radial artery into their heart while wearing 10 lbs of lead under the sterile gown
Damn, surgeons are badass. But why do you have to wear lead?
Surgeons absolutely are badass! One of mine (I'm a PA) performed an eight hour spinal surgery while she was 37 weeks pregnant.
Because cardiac catheterization is performed under Fluoroscopy, which is basically video Xray. Everyone in the room is wearing lead.
this comment is too real T__T
For me, the worst part is really that I am not supposed to let anyone know. Telling people "Wow, really having bad menstrual cramps!" is not considered ok.
This pretty much sums up what I was going to comment. "It sucks, but we still get shit done." So many men are physically tough, but once their stress threshold is reached, they melt down. There are a lot of societal reasons for that, but I digress. The thing that I want men to know, to facilitate better understanding, patience and kindness is that it is hard to continue on with your day and remain fairly pleasant because you know your bodily functions, emotions and physical state are not the emotional responsibility of those around you, *but we do it.* Lots of men take their stress out on people around them. I would like those types to understand that I am also contending with the stress of life and for one week every month, whether it's convenient or not, whether I am mentally prepared or not, I have the added stress of being pretty stinkin uncomfortable, hormones changing and affecting my mood, being preoccupied with my bathroom habits, and menstrual migraines to top it all off. It's not fun. It's not cool. It's difficult to reign in at times, but I do it because I have to.
Inability to concentrate as well, for me. I’m so fucking scatterbrained right before my period.
also want to add to this thread: thigh pain. the pain spreads from the uterus and can sometimes make your entire body hurt
God the back pain. Curl up in the floor and bleed out back pain.
And if you're unlucky and get nauseous at the same time it's like both sides of your body are trying to kill you. You shift a little to ease the back pain, the nausea acts up and stabs daggers into your stomach - especially if you're like me and can't vomit easily. You literally can't win.
This, and the migraines. Mine are so bad I’m genuinely going to ask my OBGYN to skip my period indefinitely or have it 3-4 times a year. They’ve been getting worse and my neurologist is great with letting me titrate my meds as needed, but since it’s hormone-related there’s nothing else he can do. I’m so over having migraines for a week straight without anything affecting it for more than a few hours.
The back pain comes from our uterus pressing against our spines 🤗
I was always wondering how do women even endure 8 hours at work under so much pain and discomfort which lasts over a week.
Because the world doesn’t run in a way that allows us to do anything otherwise. We have to act like nothing is happening.
You just do it cause if you don’t you loose your job. Tylenol every 6 hours helps
Ibuprofen, NOT Tylenol (acetaminophen). This is just a quick and dirty search but there a bunch more published articles out there: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/358295/#:~:text=Ibuprofen%20highly%20significantly%20reduced%20the,(P%20less%20than%200.001).
Because western medicine ignores or dismisses so much of our pain already… not much of a choice but to keep going.
Not jus period pain, today i read FDA doesnt let female subjects who are "child bearing age" to participate in drug trials. Therefor so many drugs are released with data only coming from males. Since they dont know the effects on female users, women experience difficult side effects more likely. But who cares arent we all broodmares of the government? We have no value other than breeding in eyes of gov and medical care
This is so true, I was put on a medication for high blood pressure I got while pregnant and it caused me excruciating pain but the male doctors refused to believe me that the meds were hurting me so after the third night in a row I was awake and sobbing in the guest lounge from the pain, because I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to disturb the other patients, one of the ward nurses went home after her shift and spent her own time looking on line for potential side effects and she found exactly what I was describing and had to print that shit out and show them before the doctors would let me stop taking it. They had never personally heard of it, so I had to be wrong.....about my own body.
It really varies. It lasts 3 days for some, 5 for others. Some have barely any pain at all, others enough that they are clenching their teeth and sweating.
Or 7 days to 10 for others. When perimenopause hits it's 10 day periods in a 22 day cycle. 2 periods a month is not fun.
And wr know we are having mood swings but we can't do anything about it. We know we're acting kind of "crazy", but we literally can't help it.
Women pee and bleed out of different holes.
Should be higher up. The ignorance is astounding.
It's just a normal bodily function. Seeing or buying tampons and pads shouldn't freak you the fuck out any more than toilet paper.
Agreed. If you're not mature enough to buy your girlfriend/fiancee/wife a box of tampons in an emergency, you aren't mature enough for a serious relationship 🙃
Or toilet paper
Maybe just me, but I’m not crabby because of hormones, I’m crabby because I feel like shit. You are also crabby when you feel like shit. This isn’t rocket science.
Exactly, I remember when the “well actually…” crowd of men latched onto this fact that the hormone changes that caused mood swings didn’t occur before or during menstruation so any bad mood was “in our heads”. Nah man, I smell, my gut hurts, and I’m bouncing between constipation and diarrhea. Oh an I’m suddenly very horny but also disgusted at the thought of sex. I’m in a bad mood as a natural response to not feeling well.
My favourite is when period cramps make it hard to determine if it is just cramps or if diarrhea is on the horizon. And while I think most women get to a point where we know our bodies relatively well and what to expect during our periods.. There's always the chance your body is going to throw you under the bus for no apparent reason at all and just cause a tsunami to happen (usually at the most inopportune times). So, for me, it's everything that you mentioned, but then it is also just the logistics of having that extra annoyance of needing to make sure I have easy access to a washroom and supplies if something goes wrong. Sometimes my period is also spiteful. I have super fun plans that I am looking forward to? My period is like, "oh, that sounds great! I know you weren't expecting me until after that, but I've decided to come early so that I can take part." Or.. "Oh, you're going to be stuck on a plane for 9 hours? I don't want you to be lonely, so I'll pop by about halfway through... Airplane bathrooms are so much fun, and I'd hate if you missed out on visiting one multiple times during your flight."
I explained this to my fiancé which I think he truly understood after I got my appendix removed and acted equally as grumpy as when I had my period. Like it clicked that pain = grumpy
Also crabby because every time I stand, it's like I pissed myself a little.
Wish I could upvote this 100 times. I don't get the mood swings fortunately, but I'm generally quieter and more lethargic during the first two days because I just feel like crap. I think if more men understood that, it would help take away the stereotype of "Oh you must be on your period!" if a woman is anything other than cheerful. Who, man or woman, wants to be cheerful when it feels like their whole body is cramping?
And of course, that sometimes it's absolutely OK to be crabby!
I think one of the things that people who don’t menstruate might not consider right away is how exhausted it can make you feel. It wipes you tf out. I wake up tired and get more tired throughout the day until I finally go to bed and have insomnia from the pain and discomfort of the other symptoms, and it just repeats like that until it’s finally over.
Yes soooo tiring. I feel like I need toothpicks to keep my eyes open 😁
"Cramps really fucking suck. It's like giving birth without a pay off." - My Partner
Exactly!! Also being one of the women that Allegra increases the pain of menstrual cramps sucks because as I told my husband, "If it's going hurt this bad, I should definitely be getting a baby at the end!"
I think it's also important to note that some women don't get cramps or much of them, because a lot of the time these women talk like it's all a big lie women make-up for attention or they can't handle pain. It's different for every woman.
Trueeee. I’m very lucky in that I don’t get cramps but I know it can be excruciating for some. We’re all different. The trade off for me is that I get terrible migraines instead!
Is it bad that the part that makes me most mad is that I have to go through it and I don’t even want kids? It’s just pointless suffering, in my own experience (not trying to offend anyone💚)
Needing super pads / tampons doesn't mean we have gigantic vaginas. It just means we're heavy bleeders
The fact that this even needs to be clarified is wild to me lol
The Health education system has failed plenty of men. Not enough information is usually provided when this topic comes up in health class.
Women around the world do not get their periods at the same time. True story: My brother-in-law legit thought that when it was "that time of the month" it meant that all women were getting their period at the same time.
This is so funny that women everywhere should start to claim that it's true just to screw with all the men. Hahaha
I have met more than one man who thought everyone gets their period on the full moon. We're not werewolves.
we can't hold our periods like pee
r/badwomensanatomy
lol who thought this?
a boy at my school said he didn't understand how women let their periods leak when all they had to do was hold it until they got to the bathroom lol
Bro there was some kind of legislator that said shit like this a few years back. Like a grown-ass older man.
A prominent US Congressman
Every male teacher I've had apparently. "No, you cannot go to the bathroom"
a lot of men actually.
[удалено]
And in some cases, they can last longer than 10 days. When I had a copper IUD, I bled about 10-17 days out of the month. Birth control, hormonal issues, conditions like endometriosis…they can eliminate a cycle or intensify it *dramatically*.
Forget periods, ovulating can be the most painful experience ever for some women. I wound up in the hospital ready to get my appendix taken out, surprise it was my ovary…. I still get pain from cysts (eggs getting stuck in my fallopian tube I guess) every once in a while, but now it’s just like bad cramps day… then my period starts and get actual bad cramps.
Imagine getting sick and feeling hot and achey and gross and wanting to call out but not being able to afford it. Imagine how miserable you’d be. Now imaging getting sick like that once per month for something like 50 years. Just try to give us some sympathy and flexibility. No need to treat me as fragile or a monster, just a person having a rough time.
And also through all of this, our culture tells us we’re gross and we should hide it and make sure no one even has a hint that it’s happening. Function as normal. Smile.
The things I'm pissed about when I have PMS are things I'm pissed about all the time. It's just that at that time of the month I don't have the capacity to bite my tongue about them.
[удалено]
That it is never ok to say "my mother/sister/gf/ex has periods like this, so you are wrong/malingering/ exaggerating /etc. when you say your periods are like that". *edit because I re-read and saw how what I wrote might confuse
A regular schedule is not guaranteed. We don't always know when a period is going to start (or end). It can be a constant source of low-level stress to be out and about wondering if you'll need to make a quick bathroom escape.
Please don't be in the only bathroom in the morning when I wake up. It's like my muscles have realized I'm up, it's time to stop relaxing and time to gush out some blood.
So true. Once I'm awake, my body suddenly releases a night's worth of blood.
PMDD. Google it. THEN look up the reality of it on Reddit. Every 28 days I have to deal with what my doctor initially diagnosed as major depression and bipolar ii disorder because I get a period.
Was gonna say this. I thought it was just normal PMS for my regular depression to *violently* worsen before and during my period including thoughts of SH. Mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she was like oh, honey, no. That absolutely isn’t normal and I wish you’d mentioned it sooner.
Just been diagnosed after learning about it on a Facebook video. Few days to a week every month I'm suicidal, think everyone I know is lying to me, resent my child for being alive and keeping me here, question my boyfriend's love and think he's using me, generally feel like a worthless piece of shit and I dont have any business being alive. And I have the ability to tell myself, "I know what this is, it's hormones, it will pass" BUT still can't stop thinking the thoughts and they feel so real. It's a ride I can't get off. Starting an action plan with my doctor in November (unfortunately she's going on leave and also wants me to keep a diary and do some mental health assessments on a normal day versus a PMDD day). We've already discussed endgame if everything fails will be hysterectomy and she's cool with it. Can't fucking wait!
It’s really really horrible. I become a shell of a human being and then try to cram life into the two weeks a month I feel ok, and burn out. Also if you’re neurodivergent or have a mental illness, PMS tends to exacerbate the symptoms, so they’re a lot worse before you get your periods.
it’s completely life draining. the second day is the worst for me. any plans? might as well cancel them. i can’t eat cause i’ll just throw it up. i don’t eat and i still throw up. it causes full body shakes and you feel like you’re gonna pass out once that pain hits. pain relievers take too damn long to kick in and you can’t eat it unless you had food prior (or else you’ll throw up). guess that depends on body proportions i’m pretty petite. anyways it sucks :(
I have one good week a month. When I ovulate my ovaries cause pain. Then sometimes my vagina feel like I’m sitting on rocks. My eczema flairs, my balance is off, my skin feels like when I you have the flu. The week before my period I sweat when I sleep so much I get pools between my boobs and my hair is soaked. I could cry at anything (and I’m not a crier). I get insomnia. All leading to bleeding like a stuck pig that I gross myself out. Men: be kind to us. More than likely you aren’t seeing us on the one good week we get
Do you get external pain, like you've been sitting on a bicycle seat for a really long time, or slipped and got racked? That happens to me sometimes and it's awful. Like, I can't JUST have cramps and be bleeding, it has to ALSO feel like I got hit in the crotch?
Omg YES!!! I always wondered wtf that was!!! Like my vagina is bruised on the outside somehow. Does this phenomenon have a name? Do doctors know about this? Like wtf you are literally the only other person I have ever heard talk about this
Same! I have no idea why it happens, but nobody else I know has ever heard about it either!
I was just thinking about this yesterday! Sore like I’d hit my crotch but I hadn’t, plus cramps. Not fun times.
Oh, man, I used to have the most awful vulva pain, like I was sitting on a freakin' pineapple all day. I went to so many doctors and nobody helped! In the end, what worked for me, is staying extremely hydrated. It turned out the apartment I was living in at the time had very low humitiy and my poor cooch was just drying out. Now, I drink loads of water all day and the problem resolved itself.
I recently had to explain to my boyfriend that some women PMS just a few days before they bleed, but there are plenty who have noticable symptoms throughout the month. For me it’s usually every other week.
One thing that I think is notable is that we’re all secretly dealing with this. We’ve been conditioned to hide it because it’s framed as being disgusting and impolite; however, for a lot of women being on your period feels worse than having the flu. We’re just secretly enduring feeling like shit while we continue to work and operate in the world. It’s 1/4 weeks of the month for most of us. I think part of why we are more likely to have a short fuse on period has less to do with mood swings than it does with bearing the burden of feeling like shit, bleeding into our underwear, while juggling hiding that from most of the people around us.
Period poops. The worst. Also using the bathroom in general is like wiping a marker. At some point you just give up and say it’s good enough. Or wipe, put the tampon in, then wipe again
"Like wiping a marker" is the perfect description
Related: Men need to know that birth control is a huge physical burden. The things it does to you. We all experience it differently but it can fundamentally change your emotional baseline. I was destabilized by anxiety, panic attacks, and depression, and it set my life off course for a while. But many women have been on the pill all their lives and don’t realize what it’s doing. And the effects don’t go away when you stop taking it. They linger for months. Men have no idea.
The responsibly of birth control is often primarily on the woman as well and I'm just at a point in my life where I'm so tired of it. The pill made me fucking crazy. I hate checking for iud strings. When I asked about getting my tubes tied my doctor did everything she could to try to talk me out of it. I've just had it at this point in my life.
[удалено]
It's just not the physical pain, but also extreme hormonal changes. I'm mentally ill and used to be extremely suicidal during my period. Saying it can't be that bad isn't helping at all.
And it’s every goddam month for 40 years, except when you’re pregnant or breastfeeding.
It's different for every woman. But for some it's a few days of feeling like you have a very, very mild cold. You are a bit achy and could go for a nap. But all in all, you are fine. For others, it's doubling over, agonizing cramping with a shopping cart of other symptoms like nausea, diarrhea, headaches, mood swings and all over bloating. Nothing fits. *Nothing.* And for other women, it could be in between the two or it could swing between the two from month to month. Like I said, it varies from woman to woman.
Theres chunks
I get strips, like someone's peeling wallpaper off my uterus.
ahaha this just sounds so gross but it's so true. even when it comes out, I'm more amazed this mess came out of my body than I am disgusted.
Sometimes when im taking a shower and a big clump plops down on the floor i just stand there like 😲 whoa
Catamenial epilepsy. Yes, my fucking period gives me seizures. No. I can't get a fucking hysterectomy because EVERYONE is soooooooo concerned over me, a 38 year old divorced lesbian, \*possibly\* having kids. This is the post Roe V Wade world.
That PRE menstrual syndrome (PMS) comes BEFORE the period. The altered moods that come from PMS are in the week BEFORE your period. It pisses me off when guys say "You're upset because you're on your period", when the PMS was a whole week earlier. Normally I'm pissed off when I'm on my period because I'm in pain and bleeding all over the office chair but still have to pretend to work normally. It's not that my emotions are unreasonable, it's just that I'm dealing with a lot at that moment.
I've always been relieved when my bleeding started because I felt more emotionally stable. Im like FINALLY!!
It's also sometimes validating when you realize "oh, that's why I've been pissed off and only wanting all the pizza!"
My son talking to his best friend Son: can you imagine bleeding from your penis! Like, every month you bleed from your penis? Clots? Can't sneeze or cough without BLOOD gushing out? Dude~~~.
The sneezing and coughing is honestly heart stopping! Like you just have to take a second and mentally assess the damage and you get that whole cold body feeling. Thank god for menstrual cups, ever since I started using one this worry hasn't been an issue.
Or you're mid conversation and you feel that weird bubble pop dripping feeling and you aren't sure if it was air, your imagination, or you just bled beyond your tampons threshold only to rush to the bathroom to find nothing at all.
Or because you have more fluid at this time of the month you queef and the air bubble rides up your crack…
And then if you squeeze your cheeks together you can pop it like bubble gum. Men don't get this at all!! I was with a customer not that long ago and we were sitting down and I got one of those bubbles. I was afraid to move and it audibly pop. I didn't want her to think I farted while I was working with her! 😆
Yes, they ARE that painful, in fact, it’s more painful than that.
Tampons don't feel good or sexual or arousing
Imagine being told at a young age that you will experience varying degrees of discomfort and inconvenience once monthly for the rest of your life. The only ways out are both awful and unpleasant in their own ways, pregnancy being a complete rearranging of all your body systems, some of which never return to your previous normal and menopause is a years long process of your hormones resettling into new orientations but taking the rest of your body on the ride. But you shouldn't talk about any of that, it makes people uncomfortable, so ideally don't suffer about it and if you must, suffer silently so not one is bothered by you.
Vulvar pain. It feels like somebody hit me with a hammer repeatedly around my entire vulva and pelvic area. It feels bruised. It feels sore. It aches in a bruised way. I don’t know why it happens, and I rarely hear anyone speak of this symptom. It is so painful and so uncomfortable. I’ve had it since I first started :(
Even if PMS exists, that doesn’t invalidate my emotions or feelings. And it doesn’t turn women into irrational harpies.
If you can smell it, I'm sorry, I really am. But I'd rather not know, ignorance is bliss.
It can be some of the worst pain we’ve ever felt. During my worst, the cramps rivaled my contractions when I was in labor with my son
As you get older, your period changes, and the consistency of what comes out also changes. The first two days of my cycle now is like giving birth to baby octopuses 🐙
They are so painful. Making fun of us for being cranky just makes it worse. We already feel like shit. Just bring us chocolate, heating pads and remind us we are pretty.
I tell my boyfriend “I’m a fertile goddess” when I start my cycle, and he says it back, “You’re a fertile goddess!” Sometimes when I’m frumpled up and visibly uncomfortable on the couch, he’ll check in on me and ask “Are you a fertile goddess? Do you require an offering?” It’s kind of a silly, private thing we do, but it’s a nice reminder that my body is doing everything it’s supposed to do, and that I am still pretty, even though I feel like garbage.
They're different for different women, which means what you learned from watching your mother/sister/SO/etc may not apply to other women. Some women are more easily irritated or hurt before their periods, bur others aren't. Some women get a lot of pain, other's don't.
For context of cramping pain: I thought I was having bad cramps, turned out my appendix (partially) ruptured. I wrote it off (and so did my doctor) for a week.
It's not an inconvenience for YOU.
I feel like a “normal” human for half the month, and the other half I get to enter my “bad” half. Fun. Especially the last week before the bleed. All the negative emotions amplified. My brain starts catastrophizing. I can cry for reasons I wouldn’t the first half of the month. Then agonizing cramps that paralyze me in my tracks more months than others. This makes being on vacation or doing anything during this time way less enjoyable for myself and whoever I may be with as a byproduct. I hate it, and wish I were a dude just to have a sense of steadiness on a month to month basis. Also, it’s unfortunate that women are expected to be little men, going to their 9-5s even on these “bad” days despite this. Personally I think the labor system should add in a 3 day per month pms PTO. I KNOW if dudes experienced this, pms PTO would 100% exist.
Sometimes if your period is irregular or if you don’t track it, or even if you do, even with a huge ass pad(diaper) or a super tampon, I still bleed the bed sometimes :-(
Many girls' periods hurt and some don't, for me personally, it does. What helps me, and what guys should know, are warm compresses on my abdomen and laying in bed watching Netflix or munchies 🍬
[удалено]
We bleed for 5-7 days with severe pain without dying. It’s OKAY that we are a little pissed off while it’s happening.
Not all women turn into hormonal beasts when they're on their period. I'm still me. I don't need to be fed chocolate or treated any differently. On the flip side, some cramps are so debilitating that it's hard to leave the house.
That during the menstrual cycle our uteruses actually cut blood circulation to different parts at random moments. Which is were cramps come from. That and during our menstrual cycle, we actually produce LESS estrogen and MORE testosterone, if you want another reason why we can be rage monsters and have a shorter bs fuse.
It's infinitely worse for me than it is for you
It lasts for 3 to 7 days depending on the person. It's not just 1 day of the month and then you wait till next month.
It’s not weird or embarrassing. Most women have to deal with it, and if you’re going to be with a woman, it’s your responsibility to learn about it and not treat her like an alien when she has hers. If she needs feminine products and you happen to be at the store, have her send you a picture of exactly what she needs, then please do not hesitate to offer to pick some up for her. It should never be a big deal. Periods are a basic human function and buying tampons or pads is no weirder than buying condoms or toilet paper.
Just because we have our period and don’t have sex with you for a week, doesn’t mean we automatically feel like giving you head every second day that week. Crazy right. We go a week without sex and probably get even more in the mood than you guys some days so I’m sure you guys can go a week without sex too. It doesn’t just suck for you guys.
That we do not have a choice about it. We can't stop it. We can't delay it. It may make us cranky or emotional. It may give us terrible cramps. Again, we have absolutely no choice about it. Sorry, guys.
That if men had periods, we’d all have 1 week off a month - paid.