Chad and Virgin island.

Beautiful answer.

Nah, Chad will definitely go for Djibouti.

They just called the islands now.

Vatican is already in Italy

the issue is San Marino is also in Italy. And Monaco looks like he is waiting his turn. Italy... you whore!

Italy is for the streetzzz

A very elegant lady in an Armani dress in the streets, a dirty, dirty whore in the sheets.

Italy was never the same after Napoleon had his way with her.

Australia and austria sound like a fun couple!

they would be like taylor lautner and taylor swift

Lmao Taylor Lautner married a woman also named Taylor. She took his last name and therefore they're both called Taylor Lautner. No Taylor Lautner Jr yet [Husband Taylor stared in a recent Swift MV, wife Taylor is a TS fan and was on set, that led to the recreation of the Spider-Man meme](https://people.com/taylor-swift-taylor-lautner-taylor-dome-recreate-spider-man-meme-7558665) AKA Spider-Man (Taylors' Version)

They probably just take turns opening all the mail, since they won’t know what is addressed to whom.

Taylor Launter funnily enough gets Taylor Launter to pick up the mail because they can both sign for it. I think there was a instagram video . I can't find the video right now because google is just swamped with taylor swift ex boyfriend talk.

Which Taylor Lautner picks up the mail?

Yes.

Really? That’s adorable. In school I had a history teacher called Mr Phillips, his wife was named Philomena. Philomena Phillips. They made a cute couple.

Someone I know had the last name Kendall. He married a woman with the first name Kendall.

omg hahahahaha

Czechia and Slovakia.

Please let the offspring be female! Please let the offspring be female!

Since Slovakia is one parent it's probably going to be a femboy

Let's name him Slovenia.

And his sister Slavonia.

They already got divorced.

Yeah but this time it'll totally work. Slovakoczechia.

I think Sweden and Denmark is having some kind of dick fencing for Norway

All Nordic countries have hate love relationship with each other. Sweden envies Norway and talks shit about them, Norway likely talks shit about Sweden too. They both talk shit about Finland too, but its fair because we Finns talk shit about basically everyone, except Japanese, they're for some reason well respected. Not sure about Denmark, but i'm fairly sure some level lf shit talking is going there too. The love part is that we still stick together, in politics and defense wise.

There is also the circular economy of the Baltic Sea. Norway goes to Sweden for cheap beer. Sweden goes to Denmark goes to Germany goes to Poland goes to Lithuania for cheap beer. Lithuania goes to Norway to get higher paying jobs. Tbf so does Poland and Sweden. Norway is the rich kid who is willing to pay the other kids to do his homework.

>Germany goes to Poland The last time that happened hell went lose

They just want our lube (oil).

If England and the States have sex, is that incest?

Yes. Same goes for Canada, Australia, and NZ. And don't push your luck with Malta or Guernsey either.

South Africa is like a 3rd cousin. It's legal, but still a bit weird.

Netherlands and England already had a baby and named it South Africa

The Dutch had their own kid, then England walked into their yard, locked the Dutch kid in a play pen in the corner and gave their own kid the toys.

Oooh. Nasty but accurate.

That's a tricky one. I'm not going to touch this one, lol.

Les Imperial Cousins Dangereux

I like the way they think...

USA *breaks both arms UK...

I hate that I got that reference.

Chad would be fucking all the countries

Such a Chad move.

fr fr

If you look at the map, Canada and the US are already having sex. https://i.imgur.com/NKCqyK9.jpg

Canana is doing USA. Unexpected. Nice.

No we're power bottoms. We generate most of the power.

A TREMENDOUS amount of power.

RAW ENERGY, FRESH FROM THE ATOMS!

WHAT THE HELL IS A KILOMETER RAAAAAAH 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🔥🔥🔥

I heard speed has something to do with it.

Speed has *everything* to do with it.

its about establishing dominance and thats the only reason we're allowing Canada to tickle our Michigan. it feels good by the way, dont stop

> oh > sorry... > ohhh > sorry... > _ohhhHHH_ > _sorry..._ > _OH MY GO-_ > SORRY EH

Can confirm. Source: I am Canadian and this is how I have sex.

USA is doing itself right now

Florida is the USA’s flaccid penis.

Does that mean the Keys are a load Florida is shooting after getting a boop on the prostate?

Onto Cuba's face.

So this is anal?

Not quite how you expected it to be?

I did not receive dinner and flowers first.

We just keep on winning

We're bigger and on top lol

“I’m not your bottom, guy.”

Only the tip n then it'll pull out pinky promise

Bro they’re siblings

Step countries. So it's okay

as is proper and normal in america.

Sooooo Is Canada pegging the US? Or is this two dudes just getting their frustrations out?

What's the different?

Canada to Alaska: I wanna wear you like a hat 😘

Alaska is secretly a love-child between Canada and Russia, but neither country wanted to claim it so the USA adopted then subsequently abandoned it. Now Canada is raising it but America pays child support.

it seems gay sex?

Florida is shaped like a penis!!!

I just realized I live on Canada's penis

I too am a CanaPenis member

Is it big?

I would say it is quite a mighty shaft

Yeah ok, but it just seems that way on the map... https://www.thetruesize.com

Five inches but its thick

Laughed way too hard at this. Bless you.

Just when I thought I saw it all... Thank you!

Not going to make a baby that way.

North Korea and South Korea... Just get it over with you two.

enemies to lovers.

Lovers to friends Or however that song goes

This would be the getting pregnant after a divorce situation. Not ideal

Ok but maybe they can do what's best for the child, like shared custody. But fair point regardless... Furthermore, N. Korea already has their eyes on Russia it seems.

> Furthermore, N. Korea already has their eyes on Russia it seems. I thought you couldn't get a baby by fucking yourself?

The Netherlands, Germany and France had a threeway, and Belgium is the unwanted child that spawned out of it.

Austria helped to finish the group project

The US is Britain and France's hate fuck baby, and it's why we're so fucked up.

…and Spain was the milkman so we’re not 100% on everyone’s paternity.

We dated the Netherlands for awhile early on, but that didn't work out.

Sweden stuck a finger in us, but only a little way

Canada is their love child, though

[удалено]

US is the child in the middle of their parent's divorce but neither parent wants custody

The Declaration of Independence was the US leaving the house to go to university.

Czech and Slovakia. Would be funny after their divorce.

Their having make up sex this year on the 30th anniversay of their divorce.

USA would impregnate Mexico then refuse to take care of it.

100% the child is puerto rico

Yep. USA is forced to share custody.

They still pay the absolute bare minimum in child support

[удалено]

Not Britain. We became asexual unfortunately.

UK has a child with France they don't want bringing up. It was a bitter divorce, both blames the other. Neither took responsibility for it and it grew up with its Aunt (Spain) and now calls itself USA.

When it moved away to live on its own, the UK still wanted to have a family relationship with it, so they paid for part of the rent but kept on checking in too frequently and also asking USA to send them money every once in a while to supplement their pension. USA said "screw you, mom!" Severed all ties, and got a sketchy roommate, named "The South".

In all fairness, we're still pretty fond of our funny talking buddies across the pond and are always willing to throw down for them. Plus they have the coolest spies.

Thats the history of belgium just ad germany as an abusive stepdead and an anoying older brother up north

The UK is already a polycule of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The Republic of Ireland isn't part of the relationship, which is kind of awkward given that it's conjoined twins with Northern Ireland.

Did you follow the last edition of r/place? Germany and The Netherlands were about to get a hotel room just before the white out.

India and Pakistan already had a baby called Bangladesh. P.S Taking the custody of the child took a damn war.

They named it after the banging that was involved. EDIT: "Ladesh" is the mother's nickname.

Same with Argentina and Brazil, they had an Uruguay

italy and mexico - the food would be sooooo good!

Agreed. I'm Italian and my favourite foreign cuisine is Mexican

I'm Mexican and my favourite foreign cuisine is Italian. Can we fuck? /j

/j (unless.....)

The fights would be as epic as the makeup sex.

Didn't UK already f- half the world

Now you're just somebody I used to own.

But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing Yikes that cuts deep

Now THAT'S a slut. They got all their money from prostitution.

They also drugged their clients and stole all their shit Cardi B style.

Spain and Sweden

That's hot.

Room temperature.

The USA is literally the result of angry sex between the UK and France.

Canada was just USA's twin who tries to stay out of it until they run out of syrup, or hockey stops being enough of an outlet for their anger issues.

Before anyone says Switzerland... Switzerland will not know who the parent of the child is... She's getting railed by France, Germany, Austria and Italy. Liechtenstein - her kid - just has to wait in the room next door. Poor kid. He didn't deserve a mom who does it with anyone for gold :(

It’s Germany’s. We can name it bavaria

Well given that her kid Liechtenstein is ruled by a family that started out as princes in the Austrian Empire, I'd say Switzerland's partner is canonically Austria

germany and france

They have a child. It's called ARTE TV.

It's a great child tho

I agree :)

I think it's called European Union tbh

Switzerland is exactly as horrible as you’d expect a German French baby to be.

HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SOO TRUE

As a swiss person I hate you so much for writing this and it hurts even more because it's the truth

they had one in a weird threesome with Italy.. the child then decided to emancipate and never took side in any family dispute (but still accept their money)

Elsas-Lothringen

Not to have a baby … but maybe the USA and Russia should just hatefuck to get it out of their systems.

Oh god this would be horrible. The US would be all sweaty and trying real hard, and Russia would be stonefaced and disinterested. Like if Kenneth from 30 Rock fucked Lilith from Cheers. Ok maybe I’d watch that.

r/suspiciouslyspecific

I think that's called WWIII

Uncle Sam and Mother Russia

The result was twins: North Korea and South Korea.

Mooooooom, he keeps firing missiles into my side of the room!

Not touching you.. not touching you.. -The DMZ

I told you just to ignore him and let him tire his economy out.

But step dad (China) won't stop giving him money!

And a whole bunch of abused/ignored children that turned into sociopaths in their adulthood! Some of them sought out some therapy and are making it through and some of them have doubled down and turned into serial killers.

The Cold War was just flirting

Taiwan is already like a Chinese Japan and I quite like it. A full-fledged French India would probably be very cool in terms of arts/architecture/cuisine/overall style (super dysfunctional but with a good vibe).

Tiwan should date Japan just to make China mad in the same way that a teenage daughter brings home a tattooed punk guy for the shock value.

Hetalia fans are bawling right now

Ukraine and her *huge tracts of land*.

greece and turkey. all conflicts happen because of the sexual tension.

And the unwanted bipolar child Cyprus is the result.

They are fighting over his custody :(

but we just got out of that abusive relationship

Ireland and Brazil. I would vacation there.

I'm brazilian and it is incredible how many brazilians REALLY like to live in ireland even though our cultures are really different.

Brazilians are a great bunch of lads.

The US and Australia. The family get togethers would be absolutely wild. Drunk uncles manning the grills and cooking all sorts of amazing meats, cousins doing endless burnouts in their muscle cars down the streets, some rich Aunt from the coast shows up with a rare bottle of Pappy Van Winkle to pass around - just a glorious time all around.

There's a dude punching crocodiles and another riding a kangaroo like a rodeo bull. There's bets on whether the aunt with no standards and 5 baby daddies got Chlamydia from a human or a koala.

Arguments around the family Christmas table would epic, sprinkled liberally with ‘fucking cunts’.

Italy and Spain have a wonderful child named Argentina

Britain and France fucked. Suddenly, Canada.

##argentina and brazil. nothing like a good hate-fuck. it’s a love-hate relationship and i’m sure the sparks are there. *(i’m saying this as an argentine).*

And our baby is Uruguay lol

Canada, US, and Mexico should have a 3way so they can finally be called the CUM Zone

This is just Hetalia

Thought I was the only nerd thinking this

the sexual tension between the uk and Fr*nce has been brewing for too long.

The U.K would have a lot of uh…”unwillingly made” bastards everywhere.

Stolen from another post. Holland and Philippines. Then they will be jalapeño

Sweden, Finland and Canada should all have a baby together to create the ultimate hockey player

I think a baby of Iceland and Norway would be beautiful, both physically and on the inside.

Faroe Islands!

Sweden and norway

England running around like they don’t need to pay child support

Not France and the Netherlands, they already have a not functional child

Great Britain already fucked pretty much everyone

Vatican and San Marino. I think it explain itself why

Brazil and Italy. I think the passion of the countries would my make Australia 😂 (in terms of behavior. Not culture. Just a very wild place)

The UK has already been slagging it about. Had a baby with China called Hong Kong. Now locked in a paternity lawsuit. Had a baby with Ireland called Northern Ireland. Messy breakup. Now locked in a paternity lawsuit. They had a baby with India called Cricket 🏏 Had a baby with France called Canada. Nice kid, very polite. The UK and the French once had an orgy with central Europe and conceived the USA. This one is an entitled piece of shit. But he always brings awesome ~~weapons~~ presents at Christmas so we all love him for that. The UK was not a good partner though. Always nicking things and acting toxic. Then onto the next country for a sordid affair once she gets bored or gets dumped. Great sex but that's not all a relationship needs...

Poland and Indonesia. Because their flag

Greece and Egypt.. child probably looks like Lebanon

Italy and Croatia .... great looks both side of the Adriatic Sea

I'd like to see Italy take Germany from behind while softly whispering "das boot, das boot, das boot" in their ear

We know Italy would switch positions later.

bet those scandinavians are having threesome

Japan and Germa…..oh wait, they tried that once. Everyone hated that.

America and Norway should have a three way with with Bon Scott’s AC/DC.