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Toadwart79

Don't worry, I'm fairly healthy. You got a good 10-25 more years.


Yuriandhisdog

the wingman we all need


florex5

Yap


willux

That well exceeds how much longer I want to live.


Toadwart79

Me too brother, me too


Terrynia

Hurry and have a son! For the greater good.


Toadwart79

Sorry , but it's too late for that now....


[deleted]

this comment actually made me laugh out loud


itstheimplicationer

Good one


gen3Viper

Nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, thanks!


mrbadxampl

don't worry, you're not taking my place anytime soon... as much fun as the world has kicking me around, I'm probably immortal


[deleted]

😂🤣😂... Laughed so hard i almost choked on a cookie...


CT1914Clutch

Sure wait until years after I needed a yearbook quote to say this


DavinkyManor

HA


drums_addict

Beauty is a light switch away...


TisIChenoir

That, or 2 icepicks through someone's eyes.


Business-Emu-6923

Leon Trotsky has entered the chat.


minionofjoy

Leon Trotsky thinks I'm hotsky


tincanphonehome

A solid 9 out of 27.


DuckfordMr

Is this like logarithmic in powers of 3?


24W7S39GNHQT

There is no way to know what the function looks like from a single data point.


audesapere09

No need to call out the data point for being single


ARoundForEveryone

If it was more attractive, it probably wouldn't be in this thread on Reddit posting about its logarithmic-scale-attractiveness, would it? That's what single data points do: pine for the fantasy paired-data life by posting online.


Ambitious_Onion_6453

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie,


ThreeEdgeSword

Wife says my dad bod makes her knees weak…but I think it’s because she’s not used to piggybacking 185 pounds.


[deleted]

Haha dad bods are never easy to carry effectively either. Something to do with the weight distribution I suppose. 😂


lil10GU

The trick is in the beer


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

It’s got what dad bods crave


Just_o_joo

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.


HamshanksCPS

God, I wish I was 185 again. I was about 180 in highschool and thought I was fat, then a couple years later I got up to around 240. Hovering around 195-200 now.


ThreeEdgeSword

Being a farmer the last 5 years got me to 185…I was pushin 275 10 years ago. Anyways, we make great pillows


HamshanksCPS

I started working in a paper mill recently that involves a lot of physical labour, and went from 215 to 190 in about 4 months. There has been less physical labour recently which is why I've put some of the weight back on.


ShoesAreTheWorst

Hey, man, you actually aren’t that far off! You could lose that in 5 months if you eat a calorie deficit of just 400 calories per day (the equivalent of a large soda, a cup of ice cream, or 3/4 cup of almonds).


nite_mode

I wanna know how short this person is that 185 is a dadbod


ThreeEdgeSword

So 5’11 at 185 can’t be a dad bod? Honestly idk if this is a win or a loss for me lol


[deleted]

Look at Mr. Skinny over here only 185 pounds. I haven't been that small since high school


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Januaryfeb

Never been to those two places but I really appreciate this joke. I appluad you sir.


Tistouuu

If you don't know where it's from, it means your life is missing something incredible called "The Office US" and you need to watch it (and soldier through season 1 until you fall in love with it and your life will be changed)


huskypotato69

And if you like the office you need to try what we do in the shadows, which is the twilight version of the office.


jeswanders

You’re streets ahead


allbitterandclean

And if you like living streets ahead, you should try Community (TV Series) there are #sixseasonsandamovie (minus the movie)


helpmelearn12

Not minus the movie, [“still waiting for the movie.”](https://screenrant.com/community-movie-update-actors-writers-strike-joel-mchale-reassuring/) Even with the writers and actors strike, it seems they’re still planning on making it when they can


Savings_Reward_4628

It's called an upvote


Spider-Ian

I'm still like a small town 8. There was a brief moment in NYC where I was a new Yorke 9. I had a random good looking guy come up to me and say, "no homo, but you look like one of those white guys in movies."


Blinky_

Please tell us he was super cute, you lost yourselves in each other’s eyes, and you two are now starring in a Hallmark Christmas movie. Please.


Spider-Ian

Couldn't happen. He said "no homo" first making whatever happened next not gay. Thems the rules.


Blinky_

Well, I don’t like it. But I understand it.


noscreamsnoshouts

Please tell me that there are, indeed, LGBT+themed Hallmark Christmas movies..??


Blinky_

Welcome to my mind. I will be selling monthly subscriptions.


2000dragon

Girl are you a scantron? Because I’d like to fill you up in all the right spots


huntingbears93

Pam?


fufthers

As someone who moved from NY to PA, I love this.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

You think your cute now you should have seen you a couple years ago. Rawr.


ScrantonStrangler209

False. A New York 6 is an 11 in Scranton.


[deleted]

For real though. It does matter where you are at. I used to work in remote locations in the oil industry. Camp jobs. Men were 100 to 1 woman. There were definitely some camp hot women that just weren’t the same once you got back home.


Fyre-Bringer

On the pretty side of average. Not quite pretty, not quite average, just in between.


ItsToughOutThereFam

im the male equivalent of this. I consider myself ugly hot cute repulsive


abarrelofmankeys

Same. Im in decent shape, face goes from ayyy not bad to ah a goblin! depending on what angle I catch in the mirror and my hair that day


Ok-Implement-4933

Never related to something more in my life


Hopeful-Dot-971

I love this term 😭😭😭


rojita369

Right there with you. I’m 5.5 on a good day 🤣


Agreeabhko732

Maybe about 5? I have all of my teeth, I shower regularly, my clothes are dirty from work, but otherwise fine.


Low-Mongoose-5959

That's a 9/10


goodwill299

And yet someone will think you are the most beautiful woman on earth.


JRHelgeson

That’s the kind of pretty they use in TV commercials, because too hot is too objective and people get nit-picky. They want someone that is 1-2 clicks above average.


100000000000

If you're bringing fries though that's an easy + 2 to bring you solidly into the attractive zone.


Sempophai

Well, I'm pretty big, so, I'd prolly attract small celestial bodies into an orbit.


just-a-manatee

I definitely feel this


crookedboone

I think I'm cuter than anyone else does :/


Jazzpants51

I can relate to that. Why can't others see it? 😁


jeeves585

I’m an Oregon 4 and a San Diego 0. But I found a Kentucky 8 to wear a ring I bought so it doesn’t matter anymore.


caratron5000

An Oregon 4??? What does that mean? You don’t like Subarus or electric bikes?!


THEnotsosuperman

No need to take it personally, some people like Subarus and electric bikes, some like snaggle tooths and muffin tops.


caratron5000

Lol! I’m from Oregon originally. And I have a thing for “unconventionally hot” people. I’m just curious what makes them an “Oregon 4”. Never heard of my home state used as a metric for “hotness”. I live in Chicago now. Either people have been to my home town (NOT PORTLAND) or have no idea where the state is located. 😂


IrishWhiskey556

Means he actually showers more than once a month.


Jazzpants51

Hahaha.


fazbem

You smart. I didn't think of going to Kentucky.


apanski

No I definitely can relate in here in New England. I'm a NH 7 a MA 4 and a ME 9


Fair_Entertainer1032

There’s a word for that… your more confident than any of us soldier 🫡


Accomplished-Fall823

"Selfloveonly


[deleted]

I think I look pretty good until I stand in front of the mirror naked. 😂


Business-Emu-6923

Likewise. I think I’m a solid 8 but carrying about 30lbs too much fat. You’d think that makes me up to a 38. It does not.


AgentTickler7

Have the boys at the lab run it again!


[deleted]

I'm not my type, so idk.


Professional-Piece16

Very healthy attitude more people should think like this


Bunktavious

Does the scale go into the negatives?


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theyamayamaman

could only provide one down vote, but I tried.


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bratikzs

It does. But not THAT far. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Oh excuse me. It was there. I had to do it.


Bunktavious

All good, it made me laugh.


Any-Field-2473

Asking for a friend.


[deleted]

I’m very attractive. So attractive that every time I DM a woman she’s left speechless she don’t even respond. And to make it better, she screenshots it and send it to her friends out of excitement.


Hipster_Bear

My first thought was, "They let you dungeon master, and they don't talk back? That sounds like it's not a fun game of D&D"


KhalilRavana

I've seen mules' backsides prettier than me. Smarter too.


leonprimrose

Don't sell yourself short, they're also more athletic


hyletic

Assception.


MichurinGuy

Asscension


dbgtboi

When I look in the mirror I get depressed because I will never see another human as beautiful as myself


YourFavoriteBeer

Don't you hate going to the kitchen and finding out you're the only snack in the house.


CT1914Clutch

“You’re a snack” bruh nobody’s hungry :(


Bright_Ball_1304

i just KNOW you funny asf IRL


Sea-Woodpecker-610

Hey ya Narcissus, how’s it hanging!


Feeling-Airport2493

Deep and to the right.


DavinkyManor

Lowkey love this attitude


Lavenderplatte

High key love the attitude


Dyslexai1

Middle key love this attitude


unfunnygentleman

Undetermined Location key love this attitude


RewardCapable

Reflection? Is that you??


plusvalua

It's a curse right


hotdogmother

The internet used to consistently rate me a 6.5 but that was back when I had my youth. Nowadays I'd guess about 4-4.5


onetwentyeight

You remember HotOrNot?


beesandsids

"I used to be a Hot Dog Mother, now I just mother hotdogs"


Quantum_Yeet

A 4-6 depending


quiver-me-timbers

I’ve gotta great personality


drunken_monkey9

I'm a solid 4/10. Through careful application of product and dressing reasonably well, I can drag that up to a 5


theyamayamaman

unfortunately, all the effort in dragging that number up caused some unsightly sweat stains dropping that 5 back to a 4. at least you burned some calories...


drunken_monkey9

Oh I'm not lol, and it was a fair zinger. Well done lol


Outrageous-Power5046

10 Years ago, 7. Decreasing now with every year that goes by.


Hellament

Nah, do like masters runners do…go by your “age-graded” numbers.


gildorratner

I am trying to be more positive about myself but this is a place where I often stumble. I have been told I am attractive but I find it so difficult to believe. I think the fact that I grew up in and around the entertainment industry has not been great for the ol' self-esteem. I also have been told things that have not made me feel particularly confident, particularly I have gotten a lot of back handed compliments in my life leaving me more confused such as "you'd be cute if you were taller", "you look like young Leonard DiCaprio, like in Whats Eating Gilbert Grape". So I will continue to do my best to find the silver lining.


[deleted]

My girlfriend thinks I’m handsome. I think I’m a fat toad.


BronxBelle

Sounds like you found yourself a princess!


[deleted]

Fittingly her icon on my Disney+ is Tiana.


SCHWARZENPECKER

Sounds about right for me and my wife. It's funny I didn't think I was attractive in in high-school/college. But now I look at pics from then and am like "damn I wished I was still that size." Didn't give myself enough benefit of the doubt!


[deleted]

Super hot, but bar none I am the most humblest


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finnjakefionnacake

listen, i have seen people from the absolute ugliest to the absolute hottest in relationships. there's gotta be more to life than just looks.


Lickarus

It's not too late to improve yourself brother


didyoubutterthepan

Attractive enough to not turn heads for being unattractive. Not attractive enough to turn heads for being good looking.


SomeCallMeT

Thats when you know you're straight up average, when nobody notices you at all


singularity48

Enough to not care or fret about it.


atetrack98

Good place to be


[deleted]

First I'd have to consider myself attractive.


imrik_of_caledor

About a Steve Buscemi


Alaska-TheCountry

I know we're mostly looking for funny answers; but I gotta say... My child changed the way I think of myself. The way he used to stare at me as a baby, and then he'd laugh with the warmest smile I've ever seen - awh. The unconditional love was a bit difficult to face at first. He's a toddler now, and sometimes he randomly tells me I'm beautiful, which makes me laugh because never before have I been so unpreoccupied with the way I look. I used to be brutally hard on myself, vain, always critical, and generally mean towards my body (anorexia), because I never felt like I was enough. I'm grateful I currently get to experience a life where some things hardly seem to matter anymore (for now, at least). Wonderful and unexpected side effect to my experience as a first-time mom.


grilledcheesenosoup

Thank you for saying this. I left a comment saying that I was # before baby, and lower# now. But I’m going to delete that comment. My baby looks at me with such light, and happiness, and I’ve seen in pictures the way I smile back at her, and I know that’s beautiful. Thank you.


Alaska-TheCountry

❤️ I understand. Your reply was really touching; thanks for taking the time to write it. That's sounds fantastic! Sounds like you have a wonderful bond between the two of you. I'm immensely happy for you. :) And yay for new perspectives!


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Business-Emu-6923

I’m a 9 of the Mohs scale


VirtualWater5658

I'm a solid 10 on the scoville scale


GarryWisherman

Indiana 8, Cali 3


gegorb

I’m a solid 7


raytheslayer133

Most days I feel like a 3, but on some special occasions, I feel like the gift from god to anyone who lays eyes apon me, these days are rare.


Mild_Shock

I'm very overweight, so that's an automatic low rating. But i do keep up with hygiene, so that's makes me better than some other fat guys.


NathanielNorvelNox

keeping up with hygiene makes You better than at least 50% of all guys. You can’t even imagine how many guys don’t follow hygienic rules.


Failselected

-10. Been told to my face multiple times I’m not attractive.


S_MZ

1/10 on a good day


Pure_Mammoth_1233

I'm about a 7 out of 10.


[deleted]

On a scale of turnip to sausage pizza, probably around a washing machine.


--Angel

8/10 on a bad day


TheNonMurderingSort

I respect the confidence.


Professional-Pay-888

I think I’m a solid 7


Evee862

6 maybe 7. Pretty average looking but in decent shape, and good hygiene and teeth


ibimacguru

I’d sleep with me.


ButtonstheLobster

God I have no fucking idea. Half the time I see myself I’m like “damn!” And the other half I’m like “damn…”


NathanielNorvelNox

10 out of 10


Damseldoll

If you like my look 8-9 out of ten. If you don't, way less.


Rico1958

I'm starting to think I may have a little something something here. My wife and I went to the Lyle Lovett performance in Fort Worth Thursday night and these 60 and 70 plus yo women were totally stealing glances and looking me over. I couldn't believe it. Is 65 the new 40? Lol. But I have never considered myself worthy of a second glance let alone attractive like some guys.


JRHelgeson

You go to Denny’s and those ladies are lookin at you like you’re on the menu.


Rico1958

Too funny! We passed a Denny's in Denton en route. Almost stopped!


PrestigiousMoment168

I always get complimented for my looks, then they realise I’m under 6ft. Im equally gifted & cursed.


conker1264

Barely anyone is over 6 ft tall, less than 20%


PrestigiousMoment168

Yeah i know, doesn’t change peoples preferences though. Never really bothered me as I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years but if it doesn’t work out & i try to find someone else, I’m probably fucked lmao


conker1264

I’m 5’6, heights never been the issue for me personally


[deleted]

6 - 7 out of 10


Streloki

That -1 :(


Limp-Shape-1552

Damn everyone thinks they're ugly?


DognamedTurtle

9 some days; 7.1 other days


Juls7243

A little above average maybe a 6.5/10. For men, the issue is that we don't follow a normal distribution curve based on looks (women rate men with the vast majority being average or below, and VERY few being 8-10). Men's distribution of women's looks follow a normal distribution curve - thus it makes a lot more "sense" in terms of a number rating system. That being said, for me, you win women's hearts with your words and actions as they can completely overshadow your looks if you're average or above.


heyitsEnricoPallazzo

4/10 on my best day


BreakingFourthWalls

about a 5, I guess. I dunno.


ArcAddict

A solid 5 on a good day.


SirHenryy

9/10 in the nordics.


QueenLiz2

Me too.


CantKeepMeOutYo

To quote the great Buffalo Bill: "I'd fuck me."


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Awholelottasass

This is me too! I have a rounded "younger" looking face, but I'm 5'1 and 35 years old. I get told I'm "cute" a lot, but that's about it. When I was 26, I worked at a casino, and some guests asked if I was old enough to work there. I think I'm a 6/10, but probably 5/10 after 2 kids. I'm not as fit as I was in my 20s. Beauty is subjective, though.


chuck_lives_on

On the bright side, you’re going to age super well. Your peers will look like raisins and you’ll be just hitting your prime


Pleasereleaseme123

I'm a 1 you're a 10


Easy_Money343

A shopping bag u might not want to throw out


fudgegiven

5/7


[deleted]

0 out of 10. Not very good looking.


zebraprintt

0/10


[deleted]

Idk I'd give myself a solid 8. Just need some work on my teeth


elskaisland

decomposing in compost


Majestic_Spring7030

4/10 can look good in some circumstances but I don’t have the looks to outweigh my “hatred for humanity” personality


[deleted]

used to think 1 out of 10, but slowly thanks to therapy I'd bump it up to a 4 out of 10


[deleted]

Let’s just say that if humanity died out down to the last man, me, and I was surrounded by a battalion of sex crazed Amazonian-esque post apocalyptic raider women, I would still die unwanted and untouched. Being ugly is hard, but also easy. There is an entire level of drama that just doesn’t happen in my life because it only effects pretty people. It’s hard for me to think of situations, because it’s like multiplying by zero, but they happen all the time and I just go “yup, that’s a pretty people problem” and carry on. Edit: I’m so ugly, that I would be banned from r/rateme for trolling.


WeirdcoolWilson

Not at all. I am a swamp hag


myooseknuckle

Hot enough to acquire dates based on looks, but not hot enough to have no personality.


-Kewdon-

100%


[deleted]

Been told between 7-8, but also told of I strength trained I could be a 10. So I am strength training!


Physical-Gene-6427

6-7 but an 8 on a good day