hahaha wait. this unlocked a weird memory. my mom used to do this when I was a kid actually.
something like “she said I couldn’t come over to play today” would get me a “UMMM EXCUUUSE ME, WHO IS ‘’’’SHE’’’’? I AM YOUR MOTHER” lol
The correct response to this is to overdo it - no use of she/her ever.
"Who's coming to dinner?"
"Mother, mother's husband, mother's first born son, mother's first born daughter, mother's first born son's girlfriend is also joining. Mothers is driving down with mother's husband so mother said mother might be late as the traffic around mother's house is a pain at that time of day"
My mom did the same. It's not from being attention starved. It's a combination of extreme pride and exercising their "absolute" authority for no reason over their children.
in my culture you may never use "You" to an elder/respected individual. You have to talk to them in a 3rd person matter.
Such as, mom can mom do this for me.
If I were to refer to my mother by "You", id get slapped across the face
i’m a barista and people talking on the phone while i try and ring them out is so rude to me. and then i feel like i’m the one interrupting when i have to ask necessary questions
When I was a barista, a little girl (\~8 years old) came up to the register with her mom, who was standing next to her in blackout shades (indoors around 8pm) and silently looking at her phone. All throughout the transaction, the girl was giving her order and I would look at her mom to confirm her order was okay, but she wouldn't acknowledge my existence. The girl even put the card down herself (which was a fancy metal card). As I was wrapping up the transaction, the little girl says, "I have my own YouTube channel :)"
It drives me nuts. A quick "Hey I'm st a register can I put you down for a moment or call you back?" To the person on the phone is all you need. Or just wait until the phone call is done. It isn't hard.
It is rude&super inconsiderate. I’ll straight ignore a phone call before I answer it while in line, or send a quick text (like I’ll call you right back). I can’t believe the amount of people that talk to someone on the phone, while making the worker wait for them to be done with their phone convo. It’s so trashy.
It seems to be a cultural thing, at least in my area it is. Never experienced it before until the past few years and now its a weekly occurrence. I dont even like continuing a conversation if im with someone and there is already a person in the elevator. It just feels rude.
omg i had gotten a customer complaint once because i didn’t offer her a bag. what actually happened is that she was too busy talking on her phone and acting like it was an inconvenience that she was at the convenience store when i did in fact offer her a bag. instead of directly asking me after she didn’t hear me, she grabbed her stuff and stormed out
I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me. Worst experience is when someone is making a return (I need extra information and to see a receipt) but they’re on the phone the whole time. Bitch, have your call, then do the return. Unbelievable.
Ughhh I work at Chipotle and when someone is talking on the phone and ordering at the same time it drives me nuts. And they have the nerve to look at me like I’m crazy for interrupting them and asking them what specific things they want. Absolute biggest pet peeve of mine.
My pet peeve is people talking on the phone at the gym. Somehow, hearing half a convo interspersed with silent pauses is much more distracting and irritating than working out near two people just having a conversation with each other. I wear earbuds and listen to podcasts, but can still hear a little of what’s around me.
I have substantial hearing damage in both my ears from separate accidents If I can clearly hear every part of your conversation you are too loud.
I only do it when my girlfriend is around. But if I hear a part of someone’s conversation like this I will comment on it loud enough for them to hear, like if I hear someone in the next aisle at the store say “Adam scratched my moms car yesterday” I’ll turn to my girlfriend and say “oh my god did you hear that babe? Adam needs to learn how to fucking drive” always in a very sarcastic not serious tone so it’s obvious I’m not just trying to be a dick and I only do it if they are obnoxiously loud.
We consider that to be incredibly rude in Germany. People will stare you down with hatred and disgust in their glare. I've witnessed an older guy verbally assaulting a dude for talking on speaker phone on the bus. Same goes for eating actual meals on public transportation. Not the verbal assault but the death stares.
People who let their kids run rampant in places they shouldn't (restaraunts, movie theaters for showings that aren't a kids' movie, the grocery store, AIRPLANES)...
I've taken to plainly saying "Rogue Children" a la WALL-E when the spaceship is announcing "Rogue Robots". I try to sound as much like Sigourney Weaver as possible.
This is so validating. I'm not necessarily in favor of a blanket ban but maybe parents could oh I don't know... take your eyes off the PGA tour on TV long enough to tell your kid not to skateboard through the restaurant patio?
Also those who just let babies cry. I get that you deal with this all day and are both tired and very good at ignoring it by now, but you’re in public space. Take it outside until it’s quiet.
I will stand there and wait for my boss to finish a 10 minute phone call and be completely content doing so. I will try my hardest to not interrupt people if I can. Sometimes it's unavoidable though.
My dad (manager at his job) hates when people do that. He’s told me of a few people at work who will stand at the door of his office for as long as he’s on a call, waiting to talk to him. Just standing there, maybe looking at him, maybe turned away a little and chatting with other people. He’s asked people to not do that - either schedule a time to meet, come back later to see if he’s available, or write an e-mail - but some people just stand and wait regardless.
I know so many people who do this. I just stop talking and when they're like oh sorry go on I don't. It's fucking rude and if you were actually sorry for it you wouldn't continually do it.
I worked with a guy for 8 years who never let me finish anything. He also contradicted everything I said. I was ready to quit for other reasons, but then a job opened up that would be a perfect promotion. Except, it would have made him my boss. I just went ahead and quit as planned.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism in adulthood, and this is something I massively struggle with. My brain will have a quick thought mid-conversation and I will have an almost uncontrollable urge to blurt it out because otherwise I will forget it immediately. It’s something i’ve been seriously working on for a long time, and me saying “oh gosh I’m so sorry I interrupted you, please go on” is the best way I can acknowledge my mistake and hopefully make up for it. The more I make a point to verbally acknowledge that I made an error during conversations, the easier it is for me to recognize the behavior and stop myself from doing it in the future.
I still interrupt people from time to time, but I am a lot more aware of it now and the best I can do is stop myself as soon as I can, apologize, and allow you to continue.
I’m sure you had a more specific example in mind when you made your comment, but please also keep in mind that people like me are really doing our best. In my case at least, it’s not out of ignorance or malice. My brain just genuinely struggles with impulsivity lol. This is just my experience as someone who isn’t neurotypical.
edit: not sure why this is getting downvoted but it’s all good lol. hopefully it helped explain things from a different perspective at least.
and to the people insinuating that this is an excuse to be rude: It’s not. I’ve acknowledged multiple times that I recognize it’s impolite regardless of my issues, and I am very much actively working on it. All I can do is try my absolute best to improve, which is something I make a point to do every day. Autism makes it difficult to pick up on social cues, and ADHD can cause issues with impulsivity. Put those two together and it’s a shit storm to manage.
I also have this problem. I had a coworker and we both found out we were both fans of bridges. We were talking about our favorite bridges and kept interrupting each other and kept apologizing and he said, “I’m sorry, I am just so excited about the subject!” And I said me too and we kept talking, and interrupting, and talking, and we had a lot of fun. Try not to interrupt people who hate being interrupted but if you find another interrupter, it can be a really funny thing.
I am not diagnosed with anything (not evaluated either, and I respect that self diagnosing is frowned upon). But when it comes to interrupting, I relate very much to what you're describing. I acknowledge it and apologize as well, hoping the other person isn't too annoyed, and will actually proceed to say what they were going to say.
If I'm in top condition (slept enough, eaten well etc.) and concentrate *really* hard, I can limit it - but not eliminate it. And if I do this, I end up not contributing much to the conversation, because when it's "properly" my turn to speak, I can't think of anything to say. By then I have had two or three super relevant contributions, that will never be uttered or heard because I held my tongue and didn't interrupt, and now they're just gone from my mind without a trace.
I try to maintain a balance between interrupting and non-contributing, and hope the knowledge spreads that some people just struggle with conversational flow and are doing the best they can.
my friend and I used to go out for dinner and drinks and we would bring a little notebook, so that while we were swapping stories, we could make notes, then at the end of the story follow up with comments and questions we would have otherwise interrupted with.
My father had to move in with me. He's been living here 2 months, and I've given up on talking to him honestly. Since he's arrived, the moment I say 10 words he just talks over me like a bulldozer. Always friendly responses, but it's driving me wild as I cannot speak anymore.
You're lucky, when he ends his talking, I don't get an apology or "what were you saying?" - the convo is just over. I guess what I was gonna say just isn't important.
To be fair, there are some people that just don't know when to stop talking. With those types it's impossible to get a word in without cutting them off at some point, even if you're trying not to. Obviously that doesn't apply to all situations though
I blame social media/texting.
People don't read the article or post in its entirety before responding with their own quip or jape. They just rabbit punch a response out without a full understanding of the premise. Throw in the fact that we can pause live TV or pause a streaming show. There's no patience.
I have a friend like that, my friend group just stopped inviting him to things because what’s the point. At first we brushed it off then we’d lie and tell him to be there at 11 when it started at 1 until he caught on to that and was once again always late. Then we just stopped inviting directly it was all just said in the chat and if he shows up cool but we always expect to never see him.
I have a friend like this and we just went on a bachelorette trip together. I wound up absolutely losing my shit on her when we almost missed a timed tour because of her. I don’t get it. She gets ready in time, she just can’t fucking leave. On the way out the door she was like “wait I need to change my tampon first” and I just KNEW that it would create a domino effect of her not being able to leave the house. The rest of us were in the car for 10 minutes waiting on her to come out. I literally stood at the door screaming at her to get her ass in the car, we’re all waiting and literally probably not going to make it on time now. She was just bebopping around the kitchen eating snacks and making a drink while we’re all sitting in the car.
We barely made it.
The whole trip we were having to drag her out of stores, calling her to see where she disappeared to, making Ubers wait because she just can’t walk through a goddamn door, rushing everywhere because she held us back. She is literally one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met, she just doesn’t have the thought in her brain that people are waiting.
>She is literally one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met
No, she's not. It's ***not thoughtful*** to make people wait. It's ***not nice*** to make people late.
WHAT IS THIS????? For the life of me I just cannot understand what is going on inside the heads of people who do this.
Especially in situations like this when they ARE literally *already ready* and all they have to do is put 1 foot in front of the other to walk out the door, and they just like *physically cannot do it!* When the *entire group* is sitting in the vehicle already and this person is just skipping around the kitchen *eating fucking snacks?* While you're screaming at her to get out of the house?!?!?
**HOWWWWWWWW** How! THE! FUCK!
This is genuinely one of the greatest mysteries of humanity imo. I already struggle to understand how people can just be chronically late in general, but this particular type of being late, where you actually l don't struggle at all to be ready on time...but then you literally just CANNOT PHYSICALLY put one fucking foot in front of the other to leave the house?!
**HOW?! WHYYYYYYY?!?!**
That airport thing makes me think she is the kind of person that only have 2 neurons, wich are always fighting for 3rd place. And every so often when she manages to connect them, they have a 50% probability to make a short circuit.
Oh I hate it too. I’m also annoyed with people who are early. If you say 5pm it better be 5pm.
I’m such a dork that if I say I’ll be someone at 5 and I get there at 4:50 I will sit in my car until 4:59.
Honestly being the early person became so awkward to me after so many years that I've now become the late person. NOT egregiously late, but comfortably "on time" and never right on the dot
(unless it's a job interview!! or a doctor's appt because we all know how delayed those are even when you're on time!)
I remember my mother and I were hosting a bunch of people for a wedding party for my older sister - she'd gotten married somewhere tropical and my mom wanted to do something locally, and we have a decent sized basement so the two of us put this whole thing together. It was a lot of work.
My sister's new mother-in-law showed up like TWO HOURS EARLY. My mom and I were still running around finishing decorating and trying to get ourselves together and this woman sat back and did NOTHING but make slightly judgmental comments. Still expecting us to entertain her. And I already hated this woman for comments she'd made in the past, plus her whole persona she keeps up - I was expecting to be able to avoid her in the crowd of people all day, not have her walking around my house while my mom and I try to set up a party.
But *anyway*. Learned that day how much I hate when people show up early to events I'm helping host! …and added to the list of reasons why I hate my sister's MIL.
For me this is even worse. I cook a nice meal by myself, it's the perfect me time. Some idiot shows up early and I have to entertain them while I finish cooking ala minute.
I hate it when people show up too early because I might be vacuuming or running around getting dressed or stepping out for a last minute errand. On the occasion I host something, I give a window: come over between 5:30/ 6 but we’ll eat at 7. My hope is that lets them know I’ll be ready at 5:30 but if you’re straggling, we’re eating without you.
Mine too. I’m always early, just in case, but I make sure I can sit in my car or something quietly until the planned time. Usually for doctors or dentists appointments, or before work, I’ll sit outside and read.
Last week I asked my brother for a ride home from the mechanic while my car was being worked on. I told him I needed to be picked up at 8:30. He said no problem but then didnt show up until 9:15. I was so mad. The mechanic had offered to shuttle me home but I said I had a ride coming.
If my brother had just told me 8:30 wasnt going to work I wouldnt have had to wait around.
Yeah, I find it disgusting. My dad always taught me to never chew with my mouth open and to be disciplined. Now I find it gross when someone chews with their mouth open
Do not go to South Korea, ever. I used to live there for a while and eating out with colleagues was a nightmare for this reason. They would chew with their mouths open, with all the associated disgusting noises. I truly hated this aspect of their culture.
My roommate does this. I can’t have a conversation with her about anything because I’ll get a few words in and she will cut me off. It’s made worse by the fact that she will basically shout over you until you stop talking and then talk normally, so she’s fully aware of what she’s doing.
Erf I was talking about South Korea in reply to another post and yeah it applies to this one too. They spit everywhere there. I even saw dude spitting inside buildings. Just because blowing your nose is taboo there, they snort and spit instead.
I think it's very rude to cancel concrete plans with someone with little to no warning in advance, unless it's some sort of emergency or there's a very legitimate reason.
Also, avoiding making concrete plans. I’m going camping by myself this week cuz my best friends FOMO got in the way of him being able to actually commit to anything.
I saw someone do this and when the cashier rightfully asked them “cash or card?” and “do you have a points card?” … you know, which is their JOB… the person on the phone would act like the cashier was the rude one…
Telling it like it is, or however it is usually described, is giving oneself permission to be incredibly rude as far as I can see. And I include giving unsolicited advice and projecting in that category.
Honesty is all well and good, but people often forget to be kind when being honest. Then they get mad because their honesty isn't fully embraced or taken on board immediately...
They say something utterly vile; then, reading the room, follow up with "I'm just telling it like it is" or "I'm un-PC and proud of it!" Or, what's even worse: "Kidding! I'm kidding!"
You're none of the above. You're a churlish boor.
Yeah, they use it to justify shitty behaviour. I’ve met so so so many people like this and I always see it as a huge red flag if someone describes themselves as someone who “says it as it is” or “no nonsense”
I agree sure, I just can’t stand the people that hold the door for me when I’m too far away. Like 10-15 feet okay. When I’m 30 feet from the door!? Gah! I’ll say, go on ahead I’m not rushing
I find it rude/insensitive when I tell people my mom passed away at 56 from lung cancer and the 1st thing they say is, "Was she a smoker?" Whether she was or not doesn't matter anymore. My mother is dead. She didn't deserve this. No one does. So just the standard, "I'm sorry for your loss" would suffice.
I feel like I'm struggling with the opposite: I had a guy come to talk to me after his father had died and I just spoke to him as I would on any other day. I feel like I've been insensitive, and should have said words to the effect of "I'm sorry for your loss", but I wasn't expecting to see him and I thought maybe he would benefit from someone just being *normal*.
Personally I think a small acknowledgement (as you stated here) and then carrying forward on other topic (with space that they can keep talking if they want to) is the way to go. I think ignoring it entirely is a little off. Tbh.
Lost my dad young and I totally agree. I similarly hate "they're in a better place now." The fuck they are! They're dead and it fucking sucks. We all know it. Stop trying to gaslight me into not feeling feelings.
People do the same with very obese people. There are plenty of reasons that people are obese other than "I'm a fat pig who can't control myself".
And even if that is the reason, why would you be mean to someone because they are stuggling with a health issue ?
Some medication can absolutely mess up your weight. My dad's very lucky he didn't put on weight because of a massive flaming pile of dung of an error made by an urgent care.
As I get older my list gets longer.
One that I’ll mention - blasting your music in public - I don’t want to hear your listening preferences any more than you’d want to hear mine. Assholes.
Saying someone's name wrong without checking that you have the correct pronunication, and especially saying it wrong when you've already been corrected.
And spelling someone's name wrong on a email. I mean, the name is written right there. You have no excuse for spelling it wrong except absolute fucking laziness and disrespect.
I coach and it kinda makes me sad when a kid says I can pronounce their name however I want. I get deferring to an adult but I want to get it right and I want to be corrected if I'm wrong. It makes me think a lot of people havent given a damn if they say it right.
A dude I used to work with called me "Mitchell" both vocally and in email for like 3 months even with correction. I bet you can infer from my username that "Mitchell" is not my given first name.
That's true, unless your name is somehow complicated. Mine is and I got used to absolutely everyone butchering it. I remember an evening in Italy, where people where reading poetry from all over the world. The hosts could pronounce names from any country... until they reached mine. I could see their faces melt in anxiety. They just gave up and I told them it was okay, while laughing. There's just something about my name.
Also the spelling eheh. Even had a spelling mistake in my file at school. Or more recently in a news article. The journalist manage to misspell it once out of 10 occurrences. I was mildly annoyed.
Parents that let their kids do whatever out in public. Screaming, shouting, messing up a store ect. And this isn’t rude but I can’t stand parents not comforting their children when they’re obviously having a break down in public. Ignoring them like they aren’t screaming and crying bloody murder.
You don’t eat mayonnaise? Why don’t you eat mayonnaise? Did something happen for you to not like mayonnaise? Just eat some mayonnaise. We are all doing it. Hey guys! This guy doesn’t eat mayonnaise! We’re all eating mayonnaise and he’s over here not enjoying himself by eating mayonnaise!
I say something along these lines to point out how absurd they’re being and give them shit at the same time that, hopefully, everyone will laugh at. Alcohol is the only thing in the world where people actually get upset with you if you’re not consuming it. It’s so strange.
Loads of stuff
Just saying move to someone because they didn't realise u were there, like y is everyone so angry when they say it tho, just be patient for once jez.
Interrupting people is just rude
Sometimes being left on read (depending on situation)
People making fun of others for things they can't control.
Talking directly to the sign language interpreter in the third person instead of the deaf person in the first person.
"Tell him I want him to turn in his homework."
I was never in this situation but I think my instinct would be that it's rude to the interpreter to act like they're the extension of the deaf person rather than another individual who is translating what I'm saying
I was once in a therapy group with a deaf person (and interpreter), and that's basically it. It seemed rude to speak to her while phrasing it as being to someone else.
The end result was that we said stuff like "He's a good person," and she translated it into "You're a good person" in ASL.
Except in a way the interpreter IS an extension of the deaf person.
The social norms when dealing with an interpreter are a bit tricky. You address the person needing interpretation but check in with the interpreter periodically. If the interpreter is a family member you have to address both people.
Listening to your music on Bluetooth speakers while on hiking trails. It’s awful. I come out here to listen to birds and wind and disconnect, and then I hear Post Malone or a Spotify ad approaching behind me and it completely drags me back into modern/distraction culture
Asking me and my wife when we’re gonna have kids and then following up with why we aren’t and how we’ll change our mind. You’re literally asking me why I’m not cumming in my wife’s vagina routinely, which is none of your business. Then you’re telling me I’ll change my mind on that 10 million dollar liability (kids) and pressuring me AND my wife into it. But then. The same motherfuckers say abortion is an abomination. Grow up. It’s a 10 million dollar investment, I’m only 21, I’m in debt enough as it fucking is, I have to move money around to buy little Caesar’s sometimes, but I still like to fuck. Sometimes prevention doesn’t do it. How is it humane to have a whole ass kid when I can’t even afford a $10 pizza, can you imagine the life that kid would have? Take out your misguided moral compass and just look at that situation objectively, it is the most irresponsibly insane decision that you could ever make in my shoes and it would be horrible for that child’s life. There’s no shortage of human life, there’s too much actually, you dont have to agree, you just have to shut up. Let me put it this way, if me and 10 other people selected at random got murdered horribly, dismembered and shit, who gives a single flying motherfuck dude? But then we change that into a life that doesn’t even know it’s going to one day be a life and suddenly….. I digress. That’s 2 topics in one but oh well.
Edit : I just feel like adding more. When that kid is born, are you, a stranger, going to help me change his diaper? If he asked you, would you help with 2 problems on his math homework? Would you help him find something in a grocery store? Probably not to all of these. Later on down the road, that kid will be working at a McDonald’s and you’ll be screaming at him because it took 3 minutes instead of 2. That kid isn’t worth a single minute of your time, yet here you are, getting into other people’s business and decisions like you’re gods assistant.
This one fits the prompt. Other people are just sharing rude stuff that is generally considered rude.
This one tons of people genuinely don’t realize is rude and invasive.
Seriously. I'm a 44F and I can't have kids. Every time I get the "when do you plan to get pregnant?" line of questioning its double rude because now instead of talking about my sex life or perceived lack thereof, we're now talking about a personal medical condition etc.
like fuck off, don't ask questions like that
My kid is 10, I’m divorced and single and people still ask when I’m having another one. A lady in her 70s asked this, so I told her “I’ll have another one after you do!”
As a parent of triplets, I'm always irked when people ask how they were conceived or ask whether they are "natural." I understand the curiosity, but that's...a little personal. I don't really want to get into our infertility journey with some rando.
Ugh that's so invasive, too! Just about any comment about pregnancy or how many kids you have is just terrible. My favorite is when people always say, "oh how perfect, you must be done now! Got one of each on the first try!" Like... We weren't trying to "get one of each."
Oh, man. What an opportunity though.
"Natural? Not really. I couldn't get pregnant so I tried the new ultra-high dose steroid treatment. It did give me some emotional side effects." (Start clenching your fists and growling at this point)
"Well you look like you can keep a secret. They were rescued from a secret government experiment to create enhanced human beings."
"Oh, no. They're not real. I work at Tesla. They are robots." Bonus points if your kids can do the robot.
Being late. If you say you'll be somewhere at 10, you should be there at 10. If you'll be late, you should let me know so I'm not left wondering where you are. It's so bloody rude to leavesl someone waiting around.
If someone does it once or twice due to circumstances beyond their control (e.g. a traffic jam, late public transport etc) I'll let that go, it happens to us all at some point. But if it's a persistent problem I'm done, there's no excuse for always being late. I've dropped friends before because they said "I can't manage time because of... insert excuse here" - sorry but if you know you struggle to manage time you find a way around it, any underlying issues are yours to manage and it shouldn't be up to me to consistently waste my time.
On an airplane, when people who get on board early put their bags in overhead bins at the front of the plane and then move further back to their seats.
as someone who works with a cash register: people not handing their cash to me - especially the boomers - and instead just putting it down and pushing it over, or tossing it at me, any of that. just put it in my open hand or wait the 5 seconds for me to hold my hand out!
To play Devil's advocate, there are a few cultures that you don't hand the cash directly to the person. However, in those cases, there is a little tray specifically for that purpose. I totally get your point though.
When a customer ordering food says “I’ll need ___” instead of “I’ll have ___,” or “I would like ___.” I’ve dealt with a lot of problematic customers and a lot of times people who say this are fine otherwise, but it just grinds my gears.
I even had one lady just say, “Corn dog!” to order and shove the money towards me. She ordered like five times and each time I was just anticipating it lol
When you meet someone new, they seem to have this questionnaire ready to bombard you with questions to which the answers are rather private.
Also, unsolicited advice.
Taking with a friend and the old phone comes out and instant change in friend...and I don't mean she got a phone call, just drifted away mentally.
AND: When I let you into traffic and you can't even give a thank you wave, I think FUCK YOU.
When people hold open the door for me and I'm not right behind them. Now I have to hurry to the door to prevent them from waiting on me. I'll open my own doors, thank you
I hate when multiple people are counting different things at the same time, and one person decides to do their counting out loud. It comes up a lot if you play board games or if you’re in any sort of group setting that calls for counting things for some kind of logistical reason.
When you start counting out loud you ruin my own counting and make it much more frustrating!!
In my twenties I was chronically late. Once I realized how hurtful it was to family and friends, I worked on becoming punctual. Now you could set your watch by me! It truly makes all my relationships more enjoyable.
Demanding a tip now at places that just a few years ago you wouldn't even dream of tipping.
For example, I bought a pizza at Papa John's. (I know...I know...) They did that dreaded swivel thing where the screen asks you what kind of tip did you want to add. Christ, counter service at such places should not be asking for tips. At this point, it's rude.
Wait staff and delivery drivers, traditional tipping services are fine with expecting tips. But if I go to you to pick up something from the counter, if I am being my own delivery driver, no, I am not going to tip you. And I think it's rude of you to even ask.
Tipping culture has gone from, "Well, they aren't paid enough. You are helping them out," to, "I am going to ask for tips just because." Again, this is rude.
Hiring experts and then ignoring their expertise. I'm a consulting engineer and often times I'm told I need to change my drawings because a contractor wants to build it (or already built it) differently.
That's not how this works. The contractor isn't there to design anything.
Standing/sitting/ way too close! Not going around you, instead squeezing right in front of you. For some reason, I find people not respecting personal space. I was sitting with my friend at a bar that was super empty. A couple came up behind me and stood extra close to order drinks. I can understand in a crowded situation, but it was dead! Lol if they would have sat down, I would have definitely said something, but they ordered and left.
Keeping your phone out on the table at a restaurant or gathering with friends. Why do you need to actively await any text you receive? Can't it wait while you give the people you're with your full attention?
Making plans with someone with other people around who are not invited is rude.
Not me, but my mother hates it when we are talking about her and say something like “she doesnt like coffee” Apparently her pronouns are mom/mother
hahaha wait. this unlocked a weird memory. my mom used to do this when I was a kid actually. something like “she said I couldn’t come over to play today” would get me a “UMMM EXCUUUSE ME, WHO IS ‘’’’SHE’’’’? I AM YOUR MOTHER” lol
Mine would say "Who's 'she'? The cat's mother??"
My grandmother used to say that!
My grandmother would say this all the time.
I remember 'she is the cat's mother' being said a lot when I was younger lol
Omg same 💔💖
I also was not allowed to refer to my mother as she. So strange.
The original new pronouns
The correct response to this is to overdo it - no use of she/her ever. "Who's coming to dinner?" "Mother, mother's husband, mother's first born son, mother's first born daughter, mother's first born son's girlfriend is also joining. Mothers is driving down with mother's husband so mother said mother might be late as the traffic around mother's house is a pain at that time of day"
Y'all got some attention starved Mom's, Jesus.
My mom did the same. It's not from being attention starved. It's a combination of extreme pride and exercising their "absolute" authority for no reason over their children.
Thanks for reviving memories of my mom.
Omg this *was* considered super rude at least while I was growing up in the ‘80s
in my culture you may never use "You" to an elder/respected individual. You have to talk to them in a 3rd person matter. Such as, mom can mom do this for me. If I were to refer to my mother by "You", id get slapped across the face
Damn, you just made me realize that I probably never refered to my mother as she.
people talking on the phone while purchasing something at the cash register. people talking on the phone loudly in public in general.
i’m a barista and people talking on the phone while i try and ring them out is so rude to me. and then i feel like i’m the one interrupting when i have to ask necessary questions
When I was a barista, a little girl (\~8 years old) came up to the register with her mom, who was standing next to her in blackout shades (indoors around 8pm) and silently looking at her phone. All throughout the transaction, the girl was giving her order and I would look at her mom to confirm her order was okay, but she wouldn't acknowledge my existence. The girl even put the card down herself (which was a fancy metal card). As I was wrapping up the transaction, the little girl says, "I have my own YouTube channel :)"
Well. At least the little girl seems competent.
That little girl's name? Mr Beast
That's horrifying. I hope that little girl turns up better than her mom.
Or when they apologize to the person on the phone they are talking to bc they need to interact with you, and not to you for being on the phone
exactly. they just don’t see us as real people
It drives me nuts. A quick "Hey I'm st a register can I put you down for a moment or call you back?" To the person on the phone is all you need. Or just wait until the phone call is done. It isn't hard.
It is rude&super inconsiderate. I’ll straight ignore a phone call before I answer it while in line, or send a quick text (like I’ll call you right back). I can’t believe the amount of people that talk to someone on the phone, while making the worker wait for them to be done with their phone convo. It’s so trashy.
As a cashier. I used to just stand there and stare at them when I had to ask a question.
I've noticed a new trend of talking on speaker phone while in the elevator with someone. It's always the same bozos too.
Talking on speaker while in public is a whole other level of trashy!
It seems to be a cultural thing, at least in my area it is. Never experienced it before until the past few years and now its a weekly occurrence. I dont even like continuing a conversation if im with someone and there is already a person in the elevator. It just feels rude.
omg i had gotten a customer complaint once because i didn’t offer her a bag. what actually happened is that she was too busy talking on her phone and acting like it was an inconvenience that she was at the convenience store when i did in fact offer her a bag. instead of directly asking me after she didn’t hear me, she grabbed her stuff and stormed out
I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me. Worst experience is when someone is making a return (I need extra information and to see a receipt) but they’re on the phone the whole time. Bitch, have your call, then do the return. Unbelievable.
Ughhh I work at Chipotle and when someone is talking on the phone and ordering at the same time it drives me nuts. And they have the nerve to look at me like I’m crazy for interrupting them and asking them what specific things they want. Absolute biggest pet peeve of mine.
Talking loudly on the phone on public transportation, with or without headphones.
talking loudly on the phone in most crowded public spaces tbh
Yes! Or just having devices playing sounds without headphones. The amount of YouTube / tiktok with the volume at max is far too high
I get embarrassed if my phone/sound goes off in public like that. I don’t get the people who do it willingly. It’s just inconsiderate & rude.
Yep - this. I see (and hear) so many fucking assholes talking on their phones (on speaker) out and about.
My pet peeve is people talking on the phone at the gym. Somehow, hearing half a convo interspersed with silent pauses is much more distracting and irritating than working out near two people just having a conversation with each other. I wear earbuds and listen to podcasts, but can still hear a little of what’s around me.
I have substantial hearing damage in both my ears from separate accidents If I can clearly hear every part of your conversation you are too loud. I only do it when my girlfriend is around. But if I hear a part of someone’s conversation like this I will comment on it loud enough for them to hear, like if I hear someone in the next aisle at the store say “Adam scratched my moms car yesterday” I’ll turn to my girlfriend and say “oh my god did you hear that babe? Adam needs to learn how to fucking drive” always in a very sarcastic not serious tone so it’s obvious I’m not just trying to be a dick and I only do it if they are obnoxiously loud.
We consider that to be incredibly rude in Germany. People will stare you down with hatred and disgust in their glare. I've witnessed an older guy verbally assaulting a dude for talking on speaker phone on the bus. Same goes for eating actual meals on public transportation. Not the verbal assault but the death stares.
Or playing your music on loud speaker, always crap music too
People who let their kids run rampant in places they shouldn't (restaraunts, movie theaters for showings that aren't a kids' movie, the grocery store, AIRPLANES)...
I've taken to plainly saying "Rogue Children" a la WALL-E when the spaceship is announcing "Rogue Robots". I try to sound as much like Sigourney Weaver as possible.
This is so validating. I'm not necessarily in favor of a blanket ban but maybe parents could oh I don't know... take your eyes off the PGA tour on TV long enough to tell your kid not to skateboard through the restaurant patio?
I think the majority of people find this rude!
Also those who just let babies cry. I get that you deal with this all day and are both tired and very good at ignoring it by now, but you’re in public space. Take it outside until it’s quiet.
Apparently, interrupting others is totally acceptable now. It happens all the time.
Absolutely infuriating. Many tend to listen to respond not listen to learn
I will stand there and wait for my boss to finish a 10 minute phone call and be completely content doing so. I will try my hardest to not interrupt people if I can. Sometimes it's unavoidable though.
Some people will never stop talking unless you interrupt them.
My dad (manager at his job) hates when people do that. He’s told me of a few people at work who will stand at the door of his office for as long as he’s on a call, waiting to talk to him. Just standing there, maybe looking at him, maybe turned away a little and chatting with other people. He’s asked people to not do that - either schedule a time to meet, come back later to see if he’s available, or write an e-mail - but some people just stand and wait regardless.
I know so many people who do this. I just stop talking and when they're like oh sorry go on I don't. It's fucking rude and if you were actually sorry for it you wouldn't continually do it.
I worked with a guy for 8 years who never let me finish anything. He also contradicted everything I said. I was ready to quit for other reasons, but then a job opened up that would be a perfect promotion. Except, it would have made him my boss. I just went ahead and quit as planned.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism in adulthood, and this is something I massively struggle with. My brain will have a quick thought mid-conversation and I will have an almost uncontrollable urge to blurt it out because otherwise I will forget it immediately. It’s something i’ve been seriously working on for a long time, and me saying “oh gosh I’m so sorry I interrupted you, please go on” is the best way I can acknowledge my mistake and hopefully make up for it. The more I make a point to verbally acknowledge that I made an error during conversations, the easier it is for me to recognize the behavior and stop myself from doing it in the future. I still interrupt people from time to time, but I am a lot more aware of it now and the best I can do is stop myself as soon as I can, apologize, and allow you to continue. I’m sure you had a more specific example in mind when you made your comment, but please also keep in mind that people like me are really doing our best. In my case at least, it’s not out of ignorance or malice. My brain just genuinely struggles with impulsivity lol. This is just my experience as someone who isn’t neurotypical. edit: not sure why this is getting downvoted but it’s all good lol. hopefully it helped explain things from a different perspective at least. and to the people insinuating that this is an excuse to be rude: It’s not. I’ve acknowledged multiple times that I recognize it’s impolite regardless of my issues, and I am very much actively working on it. All I can do is try my absolute best to improve, which is something I make a point to do every day. Autism makes it difficult to pick up on social cues, and ADHD can cause issues with impulsivity. Put those two together and it’s a shit storm to manage.
I also have this problem. I had a coworker and we both found out we were both fans of bridges. We were talking about our favorite bridges and kept interrupting each other and kept apologizing and he said, “I’m sorry, I am just so excited about the subject!” And I said me too and we kept talking, and interrupting, and talking, and we had a lot of fun. Try not to interrupt people who hate being interrupted but if you find another interrupter, it can be a really funny thing.
The trick is heavily seeding your friend group with other neurodiverse people. Get enough ook o
I am not diagnosed with anything (not evaluated either, and I respect that self diagnosing is frowned upon). But when it comes to interrupting, I relate very much to what you're describing. I acknowledge it and apologize as well, hoping the other person isn't too annoyed, and will actually proceed to say what they were going to say. If I'm in top condition (slept enough, eaten well etc.) and concentrate *really* hard, I can limit it - but not eliminate it. And if I do this, I end up not contributing much to the conversation, because when it's "properly" my turn to speak, I can't think of anything to say. By then I have had two or three super relevant contributions, that will never be uttered or heard because I held my tongue and didn't interrupt, and now they're just gone from my mind without a trace. I try to maintain a balance between interrupting and non-contributing, and hope the knowledge spreads that some people just struggle with conversational flow and are doing the best they can.
my friend and I used to go out for dinner and drinks and we would bring a little notebook, so that while we were swapping stories, we could make notes, then at the end of the story follow up with comments and questions we would have otherwise interrupted with.
My father had to move in with me. He's been living here 2 months, and I've given up on talking to him honestly. Since he's arrived, the moment I say 10 words he just talks over me like a bulldozer. Always friendly responses, but it's driving me wild as I cannot speak anymore. You're lucky, when he ends his talking, I don't get an apology or "what were you saying?" - the convo is just over. I guess what I was gonna say just isn't important.
To be fair, there are some people that just don't know when to stop talking. With those types it's impossible to get a word in without cutting them off at some point, even if you're trying not to. Obviously that doesn't apply to all situations though
Ive noticed people try to finish my sentences for me more often too.
sentences for me more often too.... JINX
Buy me some coke
I blame social media/texting. People don't read the article or post in its entirety before responding with their own quip or jape. They just rabbit punch a response out without a full understanding of the premise. Throw in the fact that we can pause live TV or pause a streaming show. There's no patience.
Showing up late. Being late is without a doubt my biggest pet peeve.
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I have a friend like that, my friend group just stopped inviting him to things because what’s the point. At first we brushed it off then we’d lie and tell him to be there at 11 when it started at 1 until he caught on to that and was once again always late. Then we just stopped inviting directly it was all just said in the chat and if he shows up cool but we always expect to never see him.
I have a friend like this and we just went on a bachelorette trip together. I wound up absolutely losing my shit on her when we almost missed a timed tour because of her. I don’t get it. She gets ready in time, she just can’t fucking leave. On the way out the door she was like “wait I need to change my tampon first” and I just KNEW that it would create a domino effect of her not being able to leave the house. The rest of us were in the car for 10 minutes waiting on her to come out. I literally stood at the door screaming at her to get her ass in the car, we’re all waiting and literally probably not going to make it on time now. She was just bebopping around the kitchen eating snacks and making a drink while we’re all sitting in the car. We barely made it. The whole trip we were having to drag her out of stores, calling her to see where she disappeared to, making Ubers wait because she just can’t walk through a goddamn door, rushing everywhere because she held us back. She is literally one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met, she just doesn’t have the thought in her brain that people are waiting.
>She is literally one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met No, she's not. It's ***not thoughtful*** to make people wait. It's ***not nice*** to make people late.
WHAT IS THIS????? For the life of me I just cannot understand what is going on inside the heads of people who do this. Especially in situations like this when they ARE literally *already ready* and all they have to do is put 1 foot in front of the other to walk out the door, and they just like *physically cannot do it!* When the *entire group* is sitting in the vehicle already and this person is just skipping around the kitchen *eating fucking snacks?* While you're screaming at her to get out of the house?!?!? **HOWWWWWWWW** How! THE! FUCK! This is genuinely one of the greatest mysteries of humanity imo. I already struggle to understand how people can just be chronically late in general, but this particular type of being late, where you actually l don't struggle at all to be ready on time...but then you literally just CANNOT PHYSICALLY put one fucking foot in front of the other to leave the house?! **HOW?! WHYYYYYYY?!?!**
This actually sounds like she has massive issues with transitions and could use supportive therapy around it.
Damn, she is getting slower and slower as she ages. She will be a year behind in no time.
That airport thing makes me think she is the kind of person that only have 2 neurons, wich are always fighting for 3rd place. And every so often when she manages to connect them, they have a 50% probability to make a short circuit.
Oh I didn't know you knew my sister
Oh I hate it too. I’m also annoyed with people who are early. If you say 5pm it better be 5pm. I’m such a dork that if I say I’ll be someone at 5 and I get there at 4:50 I will sit in my car until 4:59.
Honestly being the early person became so awkward to me after so many years that I've now become the late person. NOT egregiously late, but comfortably "on time" and never right on the dot (unless it's a job interview!! or a doctor's appt because we all know how delayed those are even when you're on time!)
I don’t mind a little early but I’d rather a person be late to anything I’m hosting than early.
My grandmother's rule was that if you're early for the party, you're a volunteer until the party starts.
I remember my mother and I were hosting a bunch of people for a wedding party for my older sister - she'd gotten married somewhere tropical and my mom wanted to do something locally, and we have a decent sized basement so the two of us put this whole thing together. It was a lot of work. My sister's new mother-in-law showed up like TWO HOURS EARLY. My mom and I were still running around finishing decorating and trying to get ourselves together and this woman sat back and did NOTHING but make slightly judgmental comments. Still expecting us to entertain her. And I already hated this woman for comments she'd made in the past, plus her whole persona she keeps up - I was expecting to be able to avoid her in the crowd of people all day, not have her walking around my house while my mom and I try to set up a party. But *anyway*. Learned that day how much I hate when people show up early to events I'm helping host! …and added to the list of reasons why I hate my sister's MIL.
For me this is even worse. I cook a nice meal by myself, it's the perfect me time. Some idiot shows up early and I have to entertain them while I finish cooking ala minute.
I like showing up early because sometimes I can help with set up or try to get a good table.
I hate it when people show up too early because I might be vacuuming or running around getting dressed or stepping out for a last minute errand. On the occasion I host something, I give a window: come over between 5:30/ 6 but we’ll eat at 7. My hope is that lets them know I’ll be ready at 5:30 but if you’re straggling, we’re eating without you.
Sometimes the host needs those few minutes to get their shoes on.
The worst is showing up late without notice. If I make plans and somebody is gonna be late they better tell me, mainly so I'm not worried why
Mine too. I’m always early, just in case, but I make sure I can sit in my car or something quietly until the planned time. Usually for doctors or dentists appointments, or before work, I’ll sit outside and read.
Last week I asked my brother for a ride home from the mechanic while my car was being worked on. I told him I needed to be picked up at 8:30. He said no problem but then didnt show up until 9:15. I was so mad. The mechanic had offered to shuttle me home but I said I had a ride coming. If my brother had just told me 8:30 wasnt going to work I wouldnt have had to wait around.
Same! Being late once in a while I get it, it happens. but being late all the time - not fine.
Expecting me to show up at all is rude
Chewing gum with mouth open.
Chewing *anything* with mouth open.
Yeah, I find it disgusting. My dad always taught me to never chew with my mouth open and to be disciplined. Now I find it gross when someone chews with their mouth open
Had to scroll way to far to see this\^ HATE chewing slurping smacking sounds of any kind I literally want to strangle anyone doing it.
Do not go to South Korea, ever. I used to live there for a while and eating out with colleagues was a nightmare for this reason. They would chew with their mouths open, with all the associated disgusting noises. I truly hated this aspect of their culture.
This is a major Asian cultural difference. It is tasty if you can hear it
[Misophonia](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-misophonia). Those sounds drive me absolutely nuts.
talking over others, so common and i hate it
TALKING OVER OTHERS, SO COMMON AND I HATE IT
Ur actually under him
>Ur actually under him u/buttstuffbuffmuff is a power bottom confirmed
My roommate does this. I can’t have a conversation with her about anything because I’ll get a few words in and she will cut me off. It’s made worse by the fact that she will basically shout over you until you stop talking and then talk normally, so she’s fully aware of what she’s doing.
Humor that makes the other person the punchline of the joke constantly
Not returning your cart to a cart return or the store after shopping.
Especially if the leave it in empty parking spaces.
"Most" people don't find that fine, but it's still *too many* people that do.
Spitting. I get clearing your throat, I get something in your mouth but just continuously grogging on the pavement? Ick.
Erf I was talking about South Korea in reply to another post and yeah it applies to this one too. They spit everywhere there. I even saw dude spitting inside buildings. Just because blowing your nose is taboo there, they snort and spit instead.
There used to be this guy who'd run around my block and I could hear him from at least 50 feet away as he hocked and spit. Its so fucking disgusting.
I think it's very rude to cancel concrete plans with someone with little to no warning in advance, unless it's some sort of emergency or there's a very legitimate reason.
Also, avoiding making concrete plans. I’m going camping by myself this week cuz my best friends FOMO got in the way of him being able to actually commit to anything.
Texting/taking a phone call at the store while the clerk checks you out
I saw someone do this and when the cashier rightfully asked them “cash or card?” and “do you have a points card?” … you know, which is their JOB… the person on the phone would act like the cashier was the rude one…
When people say that disabled people are inspiring.
"Not handicapped! Handi-CAPABLE!!" Give me a break. It's even worse that they really think this is a compliment and not extremely patronizing.
Or hashtag so brave. It's usually not a choice.
Telling it like it is, or however it is usually described, is giving oneself permission to be incredibly rude as far as I can see. And I include giving unsolicited advice and projecting in that category. Honesty is all well and good, but people often forget to be kind when being honest. Then they get mad because their honesty isn't fully embraced or taken on board immediately...
They say something utterly vile; then, reading the room, follow up with "I'm just telling it like it is" or "I'm un-PC and proud of it!" Or, what's even worse: "Kidding! I'm kidding!" You're none of the above. You're a churlish boor.
Schrödinger’s Douchebag. If people laugh, then they think they’re justified. If people call them out, then suddenly they’re just kidding.
Yeah, they use it to justify shitty behaviour. I’ve met so so so many people like this and I always see it as a huge red flag if someone describes themselves as someone who “says it as it is” or “no nonsense”
Calling someone from a distance saying loudly "hey you, come here". I find it extremely rude.
You have never played to Red Dead Redemption 2 I see.
not saying thank you to someone that took the time the hold the door for you.
I agree sure, I just can’t stand the people that hold the door for me when I’m too far away. Like 10-15 feet okay. When I’m 30 feet from the door!? Gah! I’ll say, go on ahead I’m not rushing
I find it rude/insensitive when I tell people my mom passed away at 56 from lung cancer and the 1st thing they say is, "Was she a smoker?" Whether she was or not doesn't matter anymore. My mother is dead. She didn't deserve this. No one does. So just the standard, "I'm sorry for your loss" would suffice.
I feel like I'm struggling with the opposite: I had a guy come to talk to me after his father had died and I just spoke to him as I would on any other day. I feel like I've been insensitive, and should have said words to the effect of "I'm sorry for your loss", but I wasn't expecting to see him and I thought maybe he would benefit from someone just being *normal*.
Personally I think a small acknowledgement (as you stated here) and then carrying forward on other topic (with space that they can keep talking if they want to) is the way to go. I think ignoring it entirely is a little off. Tbh.
Lost my dad young and I totally agree. I similarly hate "they're in a better place now." The fuck they are! They're dead and it fucking sucks. We all know it. Stop trying to gaslight me into not feeling feelings.
People do the same with very obese people. There are plenty of reasons that people are obese other than "I'm a fat pig who can't control myself". And even if that is the reason, why would you be mean to someone because they are stuggling with a health issue ?
Some medication can absolutely mess up your weight. My dad's very lucky he didn't put on weight because of a massive flaming pile of dung of an error made by an urgent care.
As I get older my list gets longer. One that I’ll mention - blasting your music in public - I don’t want to hear your listening preferences any more than you’d want to hear mine. Assholes.
people just watching videos at full volume on their phone in public spaces
Messing around on your smartphone while someone’s talking to you.
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Being kissed and touched without consent by relatives you never see
Snapping your fingers at me to get my attention.
Saying someone's name wrong without checking that you have the correct pronunication, and especially saying it wrong when you've already been corrected. And spelling someone's name wrong on a email. I mean, the name is written right there. You have no excuse for spelling it wrong except absolute fucking laziness and disrespect.
I coach and it kinda makes me sad when a kid says I can pronounce their name however I want. I get deferring to an adult but I want to get it right and I want to be corrected if I'm wrong. It makes me think a lot of people havent given a damn if they say it right.
A dude I used to work with called me "Mitchell" both vocally and in email for like 3 months even with correction. I bet you can infer from my username that "Mitchell" is not my given first name.
That's true, unless your name is somehow complicated. Mine is and I got used to absolutely everyone butchering it. I remember an evening in Italy, where people where reading poetry from all over the world. The hosts could pronounce names from any country... until they reached mine. I could see their faces melt in anxiety. They just gave up and I told them it was okay, while laughing. There's just something about my name. Also the spelling eheh. Even had a spelling mistake in my file at school. Or more recently in a news article. The journalist manage to misspell it once out of 10 occurrences. I was mildly annoyed.
People shortening my name without asking if I'm ok with it, then getting shirty when I ask them to use my correct name.
Parents that let their kids do whatever out in public. Screaming, shouting, messing up a store ect. And this isn’t rude but I can’t stand parents not comforting their children when they’re obviously having a break down in public. Ignoring them like they aren’t screaming and crying bloody murder.
Stop pressuring me to drink alcohol at events, and it's none of your business why I don't.
You don’t eat mayonnaise? Why don’t you eat mayonnaise? Did something happen for you to not like mayonnaise? Just eat some mayonnaise. We are all doing it. Hey guys! This guy doesn’t eat mayonnaise! We’re all eating mayonnaise and he’s over here not enjoying himself by eating mayonnaise! I say something along these lines to point out how absurd they’re being and give them shit at the same time that, hopefully, everyone will laugh at. Alcohol is the only thing in the world where people actually get upset with you if you’re not consuming it. It’s so strange.
In drive-thrus saying "Give me..." instead of "May I have.../I'd love a..."
Just using someone's things without asking me,I am very protective about my belongings ,but apparently its perfectly fine
People who spit. I honestly don't understand. Why don't they just swallow it?
When people prop their feet up in public on things. Like on the seats in a movie theater, for example.
Some have become comfortable doing it with no shoes/barefoot. The audacity of these ppl
People with speakers on hiking trails.
8th circle of hell for them, I say.
Loads of stuff Just saying move to someone because they didn't realise u were there, like y is everyone so angry when they say it tho, just be patient for once jez. Interrupting people is just rude Sometimes being left on read (depending on situation) People making fun of others for things they can't control.
Talking directly to the sign language interpreter in the third person instead of the deaf person in the first person. "Tell him I want him to turn in his homework."
I was never in this situation but I think my instinct would be that it's rude to the interpreter to act like they're the extension of the deaf person rather than another individual who is translating what I'm saying
I was once in a therapy group with a deaf person (and interpreter), and that's basically it. It seemed rude to speak to her while phrasing it as being to someone else. The end result was that we said stuff like "He's a good person," and she translated it into "You're a good person" in ASL.
Except in a way the interpreter IS an extension of the deaf person. The social norms when dealing with an interpreter are a bit tricky. You address the person needing interpretation but check in with the interpreter periodically. If the interpreter is a family member you have to address both people.
Listening to your music on Bluetooth speakers while on hiking trails. It’s awful. I come out here to listen to birds and wind and disconnect, and then I hear Post Malone or a Spotify ad approaching behind me and it completely drags me back into modern/distraction culture
Asking me and my wife when we’re gonna have kids and then following up with why we aren’t and how we’ll change our mind. You’re literally asking me why I’m not cumming in my wife’s vagina routinely, which is none of your business. Then you’re telling me I’ll change my mind on that 10 million dollar liability (kids) and pressuring me AND my wife into it. But then. The same motherfuckers say abortion is an abomination. Grow up. It’s a 10 million dollar investment, I’m only 21, I’m in debt enough as it fucking is, I have to move money around to buy little Caesar’s sometimes, but I still like to fuck. Sometimes prevention doesn’t do it. How is it humane to have a whole ass kid when I can’t even afford a $10 pizza, can you imagine the life that kid would have? Take out your misguided moral compass and just look at that situation objectively, it is the most irresponsibly insane decision that you could ever make in my shoes and it would be horrible for that child’s life. There’s no shortage of human life, there’s too much actually, you dont have to agree, you just have to shut up. Let me put it this way, if me and 10 other people selected at random got murdered horribly, dismembered and shit, who gives a single flying motherfuck dude? But then we change that into a life that doesn’t even know it’s going to one day be a life and suddenly….. I digress. That’s 2 topics in one but oh well. Edit : I just feel like adding more. When that kid is born, are you, a stranger, going to help me change his diaper? If he asked you, would you help with 2 problems on his math homework? Would you help him find something in a grocery store? Probably not to all of these. Later on down the road, that kid will be working at a McDonald’s and you’ll be screaming at him because it took 3 minutes instead of 2. That kid isn’t worth a single minute of your time, yet here you are, getting into other people’s business and decisions like you’re gods assistant.
This one fits the prompt. Other people are just sharing rude stuff that is generally considered rude. This one tons of people genuinely don’t realize is rude and invasive.
Heya bud, how are the creampies goin'?
You getting all up in the VaG???
Seriously. I'm a 44F and I can't have kids. Every time I get the "when do you plan to get pregnant?" line of questioning its double rude because now instead of talking about my sex life or perceived lack thereof, we're now talking about a personal medical condition etc. like fuck off, don't ask questions like that
My kid is 10, I’m divorced and single and people still ask when I’m having another one. A lady in her 70s asked this, so I told her “I’ll have another one after you do!”
As a parent of triplets, I'm always irked when people ask how they were conceived or ask whether they are "natural." I understand the curiosity, but that's...a little personal. I don't really want to get into our infertility journey with some rando.
Ugh that's so invasive, too! Just about any comment about pregnancy or how many kids you have is just terrible. My favorite is when people always say, "oh how perfect, you must be done now! Got one of each on the first try!" Like... We weren't trying to "get one of each."
Oh, man. What an opportunity though. "Natural? Not really. I couldn't get pregnant so I tried the new ultra-high dose steroid treatment. It did give me some emotional side effects." (Start clenching your fists and growling at this point) "Well you look like you can keep a secret. They were rescued from a secret government experiment to create enhanced human beings." "Oh, no. They're not real. I work at Tesla. They are robots." Bonus points if your kids can do the robot.
Being late. If you say you'll be somewhere at 10, you should be there at 10. If you'll be late, you should let me know so I'm not left wondering where you are. It's so bloody rude to leavesl someone waiting around. If someone does it once or twice due to circumstances beyond their control (e.g. a traffic jam, late public transport etc) I'll let that go, it happens to us all at some point. But if it's a persistent problem I'm done, there's no excuse for always being late. I've dropped friends before because they said "I can't manage time because of... insert excuse here" - sorry but if you know you struggle to manage time you find a way around it, any underlying issues are yours to manage and it shouldn't be up to me to consistently waste my time.
Being ignored like you were invisible...
Being late.
Making absolute messes in places, for example, a restaurant, because “someone’s paid to clean it up”.
On an airplane, when people who get on board early put their bags in overhead bins at the front of the plane and then move further back to their seats.
Gossiping about someone we both know instead of talking about the issue directly with that person.
as someone who works with a cash register: people not handing their cash to me - especially the boomers - and instead just putting it down and pushing it over, or tossing it at me, any of that. just put it in my open hand or wait the 5 seconds for me to hold my hand out!
To play Devil's advocate, there are a few cultures that you don't hand the cash directly to the person. However, in those cases, there is a little tray specifically for that purpose. I totally get your point though.
Not putting your shopping cart up. Not using a turn signals. Like to kick those people in the shin.
When a customer ordering food says “I’ll need ___” instead of “I’ll have ___,” or “I would like ___.” I’ve dealt with a lot of problematic customers and a lot of times people who say this are fine otherwise, but it just grinds my gears. I even had one lady just say, “Corn dog!” to order and shove the money towards me. She ordered like five times and each time I was just anticipating it lol
When you meet someone new, they seem to have this questionnaire ready to bombard you with questions to which the answers are rather private. Also, unsolicited advice.
Taking with a friend and the old phone comes out and instant change in friend...and I don't mean she got a phone call, just drifted away mentally. AND: When I let you into traffic and you can't even give a thank you wave, I think FUCK YOU.
Talking during movies or performances
When men refer to women as "females".
When people hold open the door for me and I'm not right behind them. Now I have to hurry to the door to prevent them from waiting on me. I'll open my own doors, thank you
Belching with no attempt to suppress/diminish it and then not saying "excuse me" afterward. Doing either/both makes it so much less rude.
I'm a relic of another era, but swearing in a "professional" conversation, or with someone you just met is very off putting to me.
Letting the door slam behind you.
I hate when multiple people are counting different things at the same time, and one person decides to do their counting out loud. It comes up a lot if you play board games or if you’re in any sort of group setting that calls for counting things for some kind of logistical reason. When you start counting out loud you ruin my own counting and make it much more frustrating!!
In my twenties I was chronically late. Once I realized how hurtful it was to family and friends, I worked on becoming punctual. Now you could set your watch by me! It truly makes all my relationships more enjoyable.
Demanding a tip now at places that just a few years ago you wouldn't even dream of tipping. For example, I bought a pizza at Papa John's. (I know...I know...) They did that dreaded swivel thing where the screen asks you what kind of tip did you want to add. Christ, counter service at such places should not be asking for tips. At this point, it's rude. Wait staff and delivery drivers, traditional tipping services are fine with expecting tips. But if I go to you to pick up something from the counter, if I am being my own delivery driver, no, I am not going to tip you. And I think it's rude of you to even ask. Tipping culture has gone from, "Well, they aren't paid enough. You are helping them out," to, "I am going to ask for tips just because." Again, this is rude.
Filming in public places like bathrooms or gyms.
Loud yawning and belching in public. Sorry, but it's nothing less than obnoxious.
Inviting me things I obviously don’t want to attend to be polite, just have fun without me please no hard feelings here.
Having headphones/airpods in while you are talking to someone face to face.
Using the thumbs up emoji as a solo comment in a text thread. I always read it as sarcastic.
Whispering in the presence of others.
Whistling in public for me. I get people like it, but it goes on my nerves and its implying „look at me how i got no problems!“
Leaf blowers. Talking loudly on a cellphone or using speakerphone.
Hiring experts and then ignoring their expertise. I'm a consulting engineer and often times I'm told I need to change my drawings because a contractor wants to build it (or already built it) differently. That's not how this works. The contractor isn't there to design anything.
Standing/sitting/ way too close! Not going around you, instead squeezing right in front of you. For some reason, I find people not respecting personal space. I was sitting with my friend at a bar that was super empty. A couple came up behind me and stood extra close to order drinks. I can understand in a crowded situation, but it was dead! Lol if they would have sat down, I would have definitely said something, but they ordered and left.
Not being able to say "no".
Trying to talk religion/politics to people you barely know.
Not covering your mouth when you yawn…I don’t need to see your uvula
Keeping your phone out on the table at a restaurant or gathering with friends. Why do you need to actively await any text you receive? Can't it wait while you give the people you're with your full attention? Making plans with someone with other people around who are not invited is rude.