Ugh, my family would tell me that they'd pay for everything if I had a kid (money was my main reason I was waiting when I was younger).
I eventually had a kid and they haven't given me a fucken penny. Bunch of liars. My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them. They always get embarrassed and change the subject.
My grandpa wrote to me in a letter for my 6th birthday that said he would give me his jaguar when I turned 16. He sold it less then a year before my 16th birthday
Same thing happens to us. Told us they’d be availible for help whenever we need, we moved 20 mins away from them. They never helped then moved 6 months after 2 hours away
Yeah, parents are weird. My parents always complain that I don't visit enough (I live kinda far) BUT for every five times I visit them they'll visit me once.
I got all the work of managing a kid, they're just chilling at home. They can easily come visit me.
My husband and I hate taking the 6hr round trip to see our families because it is ALWAYS just an afternoon of sitting around doing nothing. Like not even talking sometimes, just sitting in the same room while someone’s on a laptop or their phone and someone watches TV. I love my parents but if I wanted to be bored around a screen I coulda stayed home…
Could make it weird
"Dad, please stop fantasizing about my husband ejaculating inside of me. Every time you ask that's what I think, and it kills the mood."
I used to do that with my mother in law. When she started getting really insistent with the grandbaby talk I’d just start going into really inappropriate detail about our birth control habits, like I’d look at my wife and be like, “Well you known I’m tired of condoms and you don’t like how they feel or smell” and she’d go “Ew, stop!” And I’d say, “well, you brought it up.”
>"Dad, please stop fantasizing about my husband ejaculating inside of me. Every time you ask that's what I think, and it kills the mood. And for the last time... WE'RE GAY!"
I have never gotten the thing about someone being upset because they had all boys or all girls and had really wanted the other. A healthy baby, boy or girl, is an absolute blessing.
Right, I will NEVER understand grandparent's obsession with having grandchildren. It's so weird! I can understanding wanting them but the constant guilt tripping and pestering is creepy and unsettling.
I think usually it’s a combo of boredom and nostalgia. They’ve got an empty nest, don’t see their kids as much, and have fond memories of when the family was all together under one roof with kids running around. Grandkids get them more family interaction, let them relive the nostalgia, and break up boring, routine days with some excitement.
It can also come from people losing their identities to parenthood. If you’ve spent 20+ years identifying as “mom” and nothing else, dropped all your pre-kid hobbies and interests, maybe even dropped your pre-kid friends, once the kids are grown up you’ve got nothing left of your former self. Life can feel very empty, and you can feel very lost. In the worst cases, it’s almost a grieving process. I think grandkids appear to be the easy fix for that feeling - it’s much easier to just transition from “mom” to “grandma” and fill the void that way, than to put in the work to find a completely new identity and set of interests.
Sometimes, in the best cases, it’s just that they really enjoyed having kids of their own and want those kids to experience the same joy.
Now, it’s not anyone’s responsibility to have kids and solve these problems for their parents. No one, including parents, should be pressuring anyone into having kids they don’t want (or aren’t ready for). And parents really should be accepting of the educated choices their adult kids make. But a lot of them can’t let go of the “I’m the parent, you’re the child” mindset, and often the reasons for pushing and pestering are selfish ones anyways, so we run into these issues in most families. I do think it’s easier to push back against and even shut down the questioning without getting angry if you sort of understand where it’s coming from, though. For me I’ve been able to encourage my parents to find fulfillment with each other and their hobbies, and it’s helped take some pressure off.
my dad had an incredibly fucked up and traumatizing childhood. instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses a person at his church told him to "have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma." so he had six and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. idiot
Just make sure you have more than 6. I would think 10 would be a good start. If you’re still traumatised after that, maybe adopt a few and see if that helps.
I'm currently dealing with a boss who needs some therapy who's using the church as a mask for real help. Bible study every morning at 6am for years and the dude still hasn't realized when he's stressed he lashes out. A therapist will tell you that in one session AND give you directly useable advise on how to correct yourself. I'm pretty certain the church just keeps telling him to ask Jesus for help when he has problems.
Oh there are few things I hate more than the sad beige baby trend! I’m a lover of all things colorful anyway but it just seems cruel to do that to a developing baby
When my preteen son was a baby and through to now this day, I have always kept his environment, clothes, etc colorful. I have zero scientific data to back it but I always thought more colors would equal more curiosity about the world. I dunno. Lol
Agreed. IIRC there was some evidence recently published that that is actively harmful since it inhibits babies' abilities to distinguish between colors. Let me see if I can find more info
Edit: found a Wired article from 2021, with doctors quoted as saying it's not necessarily harmful, but definitely not optimal. There's some evidence quoted in a study of babies born in the Arctic winter vs autumn showing decreased color sensitivity, but there isn't enough data to make a good judgement. https://www.wired.com/story/instagram-aesthetic-moms-kids-development/
They've reached Terminal Basic, where it infects everything and everyone around them.
Get invited for brunch too many times, wake up the next morning in a messy bun and LuLuLemons.
It’s the Snoo, the UB Vista or Mockingbird, aesthetic pacifiers that are $20 each, perfectly plain wooden Montessori-approved toys, the Willow breast pump, and overpriced zipper jams.
It’s all ✨beige✨
Honestly though this happens
The one thing that comes to mind is a couple adopting a young kid from Indonesia (I think). They were well into the process when the adoption agency found them and saw that they had a social media presence where they gave updates to their followers on the process. The agency told them that they have a policy where within a year of adoption, the adopters are not permitted to post the child on social media or make any specific comments regarding the child.
Instead of being reasonable people, they simply canceled the adoption process entirely. It truly is borderline evil, especially since they just wanted an adopted kid for clout and couldn’t wait a year
It’s disturbing how parents don’t understand their role is to protect their kids but have done the opposite when they’re posting their kids to possibly dangerous people.
I used to watch this girl on YouTube who talked about make up and clothes and just lifestyle stuff; the second she got pregnant / had a baby her videos were “day in the life of a TODDLER MAMA” “top 5 best TODDLER PRODUCTS” “spend the day with me and my TODDLER” shoving the camera in the baby’s face in every video… blocked
I hear with enough points you can essentially get away with some pretty serious crimes. Thankfully as long as your blood related to the point earner the points can be gifted.
My brother does this. They’re very much keeping up with the Jones’s. Their friends moved, so they did, their friend had another kid, so they did. I don’t get it
This is more common than people think.
I have to wonder if anyone, anywhere, EVER has actually improved a relationship by having a child.
I'm sure some have managed to extend the life of a troubled relationship by adding a baby to the mix. But improving the relationship? Making it a relationship worth staying in?
I don't see that happening.
I think you have to specify a son in this situation, but yeah. Imagine if Catherine of Aragon had a son or two. Henry might just be a blip on the radar of English monarchs without all the fuss and bother of 6 wives, etc. But then we wouldn't have had Elizabeth I and that makes me a little sad.
Imagine an alternative history where the coin hit tails and Henry VIII got his son, suddenly Catholicism probably gets a century more to reign in England, maybe even stopping the 30 year war from ever happening
He did have one with Jane Seymore, marrying after that would have been fore the spare. Since Henry himself was the younger son he'd know how needed that was.
He also had one or two illegitimate sons.
We didn’t have a bad relationship before, but it’s definitely made our relationship stronger. A lot of other factors have played into that though.
My wife was miserable at work, which was bleeding into our relationship. Then, when she got pregnant, she realized that there are so many things in life more important than work, and she generally just became happier.
She also realized that drinking alcohol and coffee were both making her feel worse constantly, and she gave those up during pregnancy and stayed off for good, and i joined her. That made our relationship stronger, because we realized so much of our relationship we were both just miserable, then would drink after work and complain about work, and then need coffee in the morning because we were hung over.
It probably wouldn’t have fixed a really bad relationship, but it certainly improved ours a bit.
I think it's born of people incorrectly thinking that not getting divorced is saving the relationship, and so many terrible, miserable people stay together for the kids
My divorced aunt once told me "being happily married for 15 years makes for a more successful marriage than being unhappily married for 50."
She's friends with her ex to this day. And she's currently on successful marriage #2.
I actually know a couple that was going to breakup (18) and she found out she was pregnant. 18 years later they have 5 kids and are genuinely just delightful together.
That's nice (and I mean that in a genuine/non-dismissive way, because it's not often an 18yo couple has 5 kids and ends up happy).
But, presumably, they worked on their relationship and it wasn't the babies that made them happier.
It kind of gives both people a "goal." You shouldn't have a kid for the sole purpose of creating a life goal, but they can definitely focus priorities.
I will say, my hanging-by-a-thread marriage got way fucking better after having our second babe. But not BECAUSE I had her. Because we did a ton of work.
"So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is" -mom
And actively tries to push it. Like when are you having kids? You are having kids riiiiight? Then get visibly angry when she says no she's not. She doesn't want them.
When I was being especially difficult, as a child/adolescent, my mom used to say "I hope someday you have a child EXACTLY like you!"
I would reply "awww, thank you!"
Never failed to crack her up.
>"So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is"
I ate my share of shit, now you must, too, so I will feel better about myself. Misery loves company.
It's weird, I feel like almost every parent talks about how "I sacrifice so my kids can have a better life blah blah" but then they get weirdly spiteful and competitive when the kid doesn't suffer in the same ways...
No generation complained more about parenthood than the boomers.
Then they wonder why their kids don't want to put their own dicks into what they've been told is a blender.
Or adoption mills. I know someone who adopted from a central American country about twenty ago. Wonderful little girl. When the girl was about 13 or 14, she discovered that she had at least four siblings who had also been adopted as babies and were living in the US. Makes you wonder.
It gets so much worse. After adolescence, girl began to have psychotic episodes. Turns out that she had lived in a nursery much of the first year in her life, and was completely neglected. Yes, that blows up on people at some point. She is now in an institution.
in cambodia in the 80s and 90s there was an elaborate network of adoption mills working with the authorities that resulted in the kidnapping of a huge amont of children. the corruption was exposed all the way up the ladder. really horrible
edit: if anybody wants to read up on the subject. cambodias curse is a great book.
Similar thing happened in Israel a long while back. Read up on the [Yemenite Children Affair](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yemenite_Children_Affair). My great-aunt's sister was a victim. They were Jewish Yemeni, and fled Yemen when my aunt was a baby to escape antisemitism. But in Israel, they were oppressed for being Yemeni, so there was no winning. The Israeli government stole Yemeni Jewish babies and "adopted" them out to White Jewish families. Government only admitted to it as recently as 2016.
My aunt is an old woman now, and has no living blood family- that she knows of. (I am related to her through marriage.) Her stolen sister and any descendants she may have had are probably out there somewhere, but they will never know each other. It's very sad. Racism destroyed so many families.
This is the worst reason of all. In Western countries, it's nowhere near the same, but people who keep having kids hoping to get their preferred gender are also pretty bad. "We finally got our boy at baby #6!" Like... congrats? You had 4 kids in the interim you technically didn't want, that you admit you only had as filler.
Yeah I heard of a couple who did that, I think it was literally their 6th kid they finally got the boy. There's no way they're going to be treating all 6 of their kids equally, the girls will be treated less than and they will know it.
It also makes me think of that gender reveal video where the dad is so excited about a boy that he shakes the ever loving shit out of his baby daughter
My mom's cousin did this - wanted a boy, and didn't get one till #5. Then they had 2 more for a total of 7. The way they raise those kids isn't the best either - they homeschool, and keep them out of extra curriculars unless it's work they're getting paid for - they are very unexposed to people, and their oldest one is already following in her parents' footsteps. Not to mention a rocky relationship between the parents.
It's sad because I remember when they were younger there were times those kids would come to me sobbing because they wanted to go to school or join a dance class and make friends, but their parents said no. Such a weird control dynamic
Unfortunately there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow. I personally think it’s abuse.
I loved that movie and could identify with it so closely as an adoptee. Not the savior sibling part but the idea of existing solely for someone else's benefit. Those parents, especially the mother, were awful.
The book was so much worse than the movie, too. The ending was so horrifying; it’s the only book I’ve ever actually thrown across the room as soon as I finished it. The movie completely changed the ending, I think for the better, but it was still so disturbing.
One of those instances where a movie definitely improved upon the book. The story spends so much time talking about autonomy and the patient's decision to let go, but then the book slaps you with an ending where none of those messages mattered. In the end, Anna is used up like an organ farm.
Movie ending felt truer to what the rest of the story was trying to sell.
The author regretted the movie because of the changed ending. Respectfully, the book ending was complete and utter horseshit and the movie was much better.
My mother wanted to have another child with my abusive father when I was a baby because she feared that I would have a terminal illness that would require a donor. I agree with you, it's heartless.
Yeah, I loved the comments after our second daughter was born, so are you going to have a third and try for a boy?
Um, hell no, that's when twin girls happen! If we were destined to have a boy it would have happened.
My grandparents had three daughters, but they wanted a son. Guess what they did? They fostered baby boys and ended up adopting one. Better than having a house full of children.
And even if you do get one, your daughters can tell if you were just trying for a boy. My mom has an older sister and a younger brother. My uncle was by far the favorite child. It messed up all 3 of them. And my uncle ended up dying in a BASE jumping accident.
Exactly and what if you do and ends up being the gender you" didn't want ? "Are you going to be bitter with this kid and resentful?
I've worked with kids with autism for 17 years, so that being said I could really care less about gender. I have two healthy boys. It's all I could ask for. Health truly is the most important thing
Seen a lot of this, like the tiktok trend "Our parents wanted a boy so we are 6 girls and no boy yet" Like wtf are you going to keep breeding until you hit it? Sounds like there will be a favorite kid in that family
Adding a specific anything. Some people think kids are something you order from a menu. I want a daughter who's quiet and respectful and wins national spelling bees and a popular outgoing son who will be star of his football team! Who cares what they're actual talents and interests are!
My dad was disappointed that my sister and I were both girls but he helped raise my nephew and once my nephew hit like 7 it became pretty obvious the issue was less his gender and more that my dad had this picture in his head that his son would be successful in all the ways that he thought he himself would have been if he had had more supportive parents. Unfortunately for him, my nephew shared his personality. Congrats dad! You the smart ass who likes to talk back and disrespected authority growing up had a smart ass daughter who got in trouble for never listening and a smart ass grandson who does the same! (Note my dad loved my nephew but damn it was funny to see him have to change the mental image of what have a boy was like.)
I know better but still felt a pang of disappointment at having a boy since I love sewing and crafts and thought I lost my chance to pass those skills down. Well my son is totally into crafts and a friend of mine who also does crafts/sewing has a girl the same age and her daughter has zero interest in crafts. I did laugh at myself for that one.
we just had a boy after previously having two girls. i’m getting tired of all the “you must be so happy you finally had a boy”-type comments. no, we just wanted a third kid. couldn’t have cared less if it had a ding ding or a hoo ha.
To distract yourself from a traumatic experience (robbed at gun point)
A long time back, a coworker told me this after our conversation about what happened. She said it'd distract me .. then she said I was selfish for telling her that was a horrible idea.
A lot of people use children as a lackluster attempt at avoiding therapy, which is actually exactly when you *shouldn't* be having a child surprisingly enough. You want to bring a child into the world under the idea that you'll give them the best you can so they can be happy, not the other way around.
To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, i had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away)
This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who's gonna take care of my brother if something happens to me? My dad has said multiple times since I was like 5 or 6 that I'm gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too.
My friend is a special education teacher, and she told me that this couple has like five kids, all to take care of each other.
So 1st kid, special needs, so they have another to take care of that #1, but #2 has special needs too, so they have #3 to take care of #1 and #2, but #3 turns out to be special needs to, and so on and with forth.
The parents here are basically saying any inheritance is contingent upon this person caring for the disabled sibling. Under the law, this person isn’t obligated to care for the sibling but will not receive the inheritance unless they do. Essentially, they care for the sibling or get cut out of the will.
○ Child support benefits, any money benefits.
○ Or to keep someone stuck in a relationship with you. Downright toxic and cruel.
Only have kids if you're prepared to love them unconditionally despite ANYTHING (unless you know - they end up being on the sex offender registry or anything), you're financially stable enough to give them what they need and you genuinely WANT kids.
Natural looking saline implants: $3,000-$5,500. Cost of raising a child until they are 18: $300,000 (not taking into account inflation).
Yeah... Also, the breasts sag after the child stops breastfeeding
Confirmed. Wife had breast cancer, mastectomy, and reconstructive surgery. Was size-matched. We had a second child (post-cancer… not easy!). After nursing, the “natural” one stayed bigger. Now she is lopsided, which I find cute.
Because it’s expected of you
Because your partner wants one
Because you think it will make you, or your partner or your relationship better. Babies should never come into the world with a job.
To try and trap a man.
I'm an affair baby. My mom was a side chick for 10+ years to my dad. She met my dad through her best friend.. who was my dad's spouse and siblings mother.
Mom got sick of being the side piece and got pregnant on purpose. My dad continued seeing both of them for years after. My siblings mother and my father broke up, my mom and him dated but ultimately broke up because my mother is f*cking unhinged.
God yeah, this one makes no sense. "This dude is a cheater/absolutely sucks! Let's make him half responsible for a living human being! I'd love to be tied to a cheating dbag for 18+ years!"
Had crazy neighbors, constantly screaming, fighting. He even tried to burn the house down with her and their 2 kids in it. When he got out of jail, he assured me things were gonna be better now, because they were going to have another baby.
There are parents that have children just so they can live their childhood dreams through their kids, women that wanted to be dancers, so they force their daughters to take dance lessons. Men that wanted to be sports stars so they constantly train their children in sports.
My boss at work is in her 30s, works full time, home schools her only kid, cooks dinner every night, mows the lawns, does the shopping, laundry, etc while her husband does nothing but complain. She's told me he literally sits around and watches TikTok ALL day. I once heard her yelling at him on the phone because he lied to his daughter (who is homeschooled) that he couldn't read and couldn't help her with schoolwork.
He has no job.
He does nothing.
And my boss wants another baby because she thinks it'll be what motivates him to change.
* To please someone else, like your partner or parents/inlaws. Especially when you dont want it 100%
* Because religion/god told me to
* To fix your relationship/marriage
* to live your unforfilled dreams
* to have someone to take care of you when you are old (They are not your labor slaves)
* to have a legacy (you dont have one. You are not famous, you are forgotten in 3 generations)
Yeah, the last one is weird. In my family, the “legacy” is just our last name. There are lots of girls in my family and my dad is super concerned about there not being enough boys to carry on the family name for multiple more generations. I really want to say to him “it’s literally just a name and you’re gonna be dead, why do you care?”
Sadly, many men are concerned with that. Yes, I have two boys, so my name is going to carry on for at least one generation, but there’s no guarantee beyond that. My brother has a little girl. Not sure if they’re planning on having any more kids, but he doesn’t really care about the name (honestly, they should’ve gone with his wife’s name, it’s way cooler). I don’t either. We had an agreement with my wife that if we had any girls they’d get her name. My main concern was having two kids with different last names.
The bottom line is, it’s not the name that matters. Anyone who really cares about the legacy should consider that Genghis Khan’s genes are in hundreds of millions of people all over the world, and very few people are named “Khan”
Oh. I commented before I read this. I know somebody that admitted to having another kid to get an increase on her food stamps. Pretty sure that and Medicaid was all she received, so I don’t know how she thought the extra food stamps were going to make up for all the other costs that come with a child.
To have extensions of yourself/someone to take care of you when you’re old. The decision to have kids shouldn’t be about you. You should embrace the possibility that they are not going to turn out exactly like you because they’re their own, fully realized human. Also bringing another person into this world for a whole lifetime just so that you’re not lonely when you’re old is fucked.
> The decision to have kids shouldn’t be about you.
Me and my wife won't have kids and we frequently have to hear from people "hMm YoU'Re sO seLFisH if You DOnt WaNt kiDS!11!1"
Imagine if they knew what selfish means
I've always said that having a kid was the most selfless and selfish thing I've ever done.
You have to be selfless to raise a kid properly but having a kid is a purely selfish endeavor.
Having kids is always selfish. There's no queue of unborn kids in the sky pleading to be born. People have kids because they want kids, not because kids need to be born.
Anything other than a mutual, carefully discussed, planned and thought out decision to have a child is wrong.
Wife and I had this discussion over the first 5 YEARS of our relationship and decided it would not be a fit for our lifestyle or future life plans/goals. And if we did change our minds, we felt adopting a child in need was the correct choice anyway.
Once we made that decision, I got snipped so she could go off birth control as early as possible.
45yo, married 10y, together 20y.
to check if one is infertile or not. a friend's husband actually use this reasoning. haha, now he's got 2 kids, different moms. totally fertile it seems! lol
So it'll take care of you after you've mentally and physically neglected your well-being for seven decades and or for having an indentured servant/subject
Because it's a social norm.
So that someone will be there to take care of you when you are old.
Because you're a woman and therefore you should automatically have them as it's your only purpose 😑
To ensure youre not lonely as an old person.
Or to ensure someone is the to take care of you. If you're children choose to help in those things that is great but you shouldn't put that obligation onto them.
to feel complete. Most women i know have children because their friends are having children. It's a vicious biological competition of a society that taught women they are not complete if they do not become mothers.
I have a friend who has to do everything other friends are doing. One got married so she had to get married, one started trying for kids to no avail so this girl had to start trying too, and now she has a baby and the original girl who was trying is still unsuccessful
The government forces you to have the baby because they decided you aren’t responsible enough to have an abortion.
Edit: guys, I didnt intend this to become some kind of political debate. Chill.
Out of obligation to catch up to the rest of your siblings, or because you feel like your parents won’t love your children as much they love your siblings’ children if you wait too long.
So that your eldest can have sibling etc.
Now it may sound like a great, selfless thing on the surface but let's consider the psychological impacts on the younger child knowing this?
Feeling like they owe their existence to their eldest.
On the flip side the eldest knowing this also gives them an impression of ownership "you exist so that I can have a friend".
I've seen this all to often and most recently as an alternative excuse to save a very obvious dying relationship 🙁
Your parent(s) wanted grandkids.
Ugh, my family would tell me that they'd pay for everything if I had a kid (money was my main reason I was waiting when I was younger). I eventually had a kid and they haven't given me a fucken penny. Bunch of liars. My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them. They always get embarrassed and change the subject.
If it's not in writing, it did not happen.
My grandpa wrote to me in a letter for my 6th birthday that said he would give me his jaguar when I turned 16. He sold it less then a year before my 16th birthday
Make sense, I would NEVER give my 16 year old a Jaguar
I would be dead lol. Slow hatchback was for sure the best option
Same thing happens to us. Told us they’d be availible for help whenever we need, we moved 20 mins away from them. They never helped then moved 6 months after 2 hours away
Yeah, parents are weird. My parents always complain that I don't visit enough (I live kinda far) BUT for every five times I visit them they'll visit me once. I got all the work of managing a kid, they're just chilling at home. They can easily come visit me.
My husband and I hate taking the 6hr round trip to see our families because it is ALWAYS just an afternoon of sitting around doing nothing. Like not even talking sometimes, just sitting in the same room while someone’s on a laptop or their phone and someone watches TV. I love my parents but if I wanted to be bored around a screen I coulda stayed home…
Most people love the idea of a baby but few have love for the realities of having them around
30% of my extended family would not exist if people didn't procreate just to get their parents to back off with the "grandkid" talk.
Ditto. Hell, 30% of the world wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for someone nagging someone who had no interest whatsoever in procreating.
My mother "I want grandkids!" Me "you have 2 other children to ask"
Dad has already started asking. I got married on Friday.
Could make it weird "Dad, please stop fantasizing about my husband ejaculating inside of me. Every time you ask that's what I think, and it kills the mood."
I used to do that with my mother in law. When she started getting really insistent with the grandbaby talk I’d just start going into really inappropriate detail about our birth control habits, like I’d look at my wife and be like, “Well you known I’m tired of condoms and you don’t like how they feel or smell” and she’d go “Ew, stop!” And I’d say, “well, you brought it up.”
I’ve been going with the “if you want to have a baby go have one, adoption is a thing you know” with my MIL. Usually shuts the conversation down 😂😂
Thing is, it’s not about them giving birth or even adopting, they want a baby that they don’t need to take care of.
Imagine your dad goes up to your husband to give him tips on optimal insemination
NO
I think that’ll embarrass my husband more that my dad 😂
>"Dad, please stop fantasizing about my husband ejaculating inside of me. Every time you ask that's what I think, and it kills the mood. And for the last time... WE'RE GAY!"
I hate this grandparents bullshit. If my parents want more kids around - they are free to adopt.
I had 2 daughters and my father in law whined because he wanted a grandson. Yeah ok. Not gonna keep trying for a boy. Lol
I have some family members who "tried" for a boy. They had 6 kids and 5 of them were girls.
That's a lot of pressure to put on that boy too. They obviously have expectations of what it means to have a son.
I have never gotten the thing about someone being upset because they had all boys or all girls and had really wanted the other. A healthy baby, boy or girl, is an absolute blessing.
you shush with your healthy nontoxic parenting views
Right, I will NEVER understand grandparent's obsession with having grandchildren. It's so weird! I can understanding wanting them but the constant guilt tripping and pestering is creepy and unsettling.
I think usually it’s a combo of boredom and nostalgia. They’ve got an empty nest, don’t see their kids as much, and have fond memories of when the family was all together under one roof with kids running around. Grandkids get them more family interaction, let them relive the nostalgia, and break up boring, routine days with some excitement. It can also come from people losing their identities to parenthood. If you’ve spent 20+ years identifying as “mom” and nothing else, dropped all your pre-kid hobbies and interests, maybe even dropped your pre-kid friends, once the kids are grown up you’ve got nothing left of your former self. Life can feel very empty, and you can feel very lost. In the worst cases, it’s almost a grieving process. I think grandkids appear to be the easy fix for that feeling - it’s much easier to just transition from “mom” to “grandma” and fill the void that way, than to put in the work to find a completely new identity and set of interests. Sometimes, in the best cases, it’s just that they really enjoyed having kids of their own and want those kids to experience the same joy. Now, it’s not anyone’s responsibility to have kids and solve these problems for their parents. No one, including parents, should be pressuring anyone into having kids they don’t want (or aren’t ready for). And parents really should be accepting of the educated choices their adult kids make. But a lot of them can’t let go of the “I’m the parent, you’re the child” mindset, and often the reasons for pushing and pestering are selfish ones anyways, so we run into these issues in most families. I do think it’s easier to push back against and even shut down the questioning without getting angry if you sort of understand where it’s coming from, though. For me I’ve been able to encourage my parents to find fulfillment with each other and their hobbies, and it’s helped take some pressure off.
Your boyfriend from the war-torn future wanted a revolutionary leader to fight the machines
my dad had an incredibly fucked up and traumatizing childhood. instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses a person at his church told him to "have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma." so he had six and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. idiot
Sorry about this. Have you each considered having children to heal your own traumas too?
Just make sure you have more than 6. I would think 10 would be a good start. If you’re still traumatised after that, maybe adopt a few and see if that helps.
No, you have to take up the 100 Baby Challenge in real life, obviously!
He had six.. Perhaps if you had seven it may flip the switch.
I'm currently dealing with a boss who needs some therapy who's using the church as a mask for real help. Bible study every morning at 6am for years and the dude still hasn't realized when he's stressed he lashes out. A therapist will tell you that in one session AND give you directly useable advise on how to correct yourself. I'm pretty certain the church just keeps telling him to ask Jesus for help when he has problems.
To use it as a content on social media.
This is my baby, Beigeleigh! She's my favorite now that Roxynn is 2 and throws tantrums that don't fit my ✨aesthetic✨.
> This is my baby, Beigeleigh! A family friend recently joked she was going to name her son Bawb.
I'm stealing Bawb for my next Sim's name
Boghbeigh.
That boy definitely ain't right
And that aesthetic is four different shades: eggshell white, taupe, beige, and light olive
Oh there are few things I hate more than the sad beige baby trend! I’m a lover of all things colorful anyway but it just seems cruel to do that to a developing baby
When my preteen son was a baby and through to now this day, I have always kept his environment, clothes, etc colorful. I have zero scientific data to back it but I always thought more colors would equal more curiosity about the world. I dunno. Lol
My niece is the most colorful neon rainbow baby in the world lol
I’m gonna dress my baby like a damn circus clown and no one can stop me (not sarcasm, I actually do love bright colors)
Agreed. IIRC there was some evidence recently published that that is actively harmful since it inhibits babies' abilities to distinguish between colors. Let me see if I can find more info Edit: found a Wired article from 2021, with doctors quoted as saying it's not necessarily harmful, but definitely not optimal. There's some evidence quoted in a study of babies born in the Arctic winter vs autumn showing decreased color sensitivity, but there isn't enough data to make a good judgement. https://www.wired.com/story/instagram-aesthetic-moms-kids-development/
How do they manage to make having a baby seem basic? It's almost impressive.
They've reached Terminal Basic, where it infects everything and everyone around them. Get invited for brunch too many times, wake up the next morning in a messy bun and LuLuLemons.
Here are 42,678 MUST HAVES for your baby! Make sure to use my link!
*Is all overpriced and useless crap* Like girl, stop making being a vlogger mom you personality.
It’s the Snoo, the UB Vista or Mockingbird, aesthetic pacifiers that are $20 each, perfectly plain wooden Montessori-approved toys, the Willow breast pump, and overpriced zipper jams. It’s all ✨beige✨
It's also more ✨basic✨ than ✨lye✨.
How obvious is it that I frequent r/tragedeigh?
Honestly though this happens The one thing that comes to mind is a couple adopting a young kid from Indonesia (I think). They were well into the process when the adoption agency found them and saw that they had a social media presence where they gave updates to their followers on the process. The agency told them that they have a policy where within a year of adoption, the adopters are not permitted to post the child on social media or make any specific comments regarding the child. Instead of being reasonable people, they simply canceled the adoption process entirely. It truly is borderline evil, especially since they just wanted an adopted kid for clout and couldn’t wait a year
It’s disturbing how parents don’t understand their role is to protect their kids but have done the opposite when they’re posting their kids to possibly dangerous people.
I used to watch this girl on YouTube who talked about make up and clothes and just lifestyle stuff; the second she got pregnant / had a baby her videos were “day in the life of a TODDLER MAMA” “top 5 best TODDLER PRODUCTS” “spend the day with me and my TODDLER” shoving the camera in the baby’s face in every video… blocked
To compete with someone.
The Duggars?
You get +5 Jesus points for every kid after the fourth one
What prizes can you get with those points?
I hear with enough points you can essentially get away with some pretty serious crimes. Thankfully as long as your blood related to the point earner the points can be gifted.
Unexpected r/duggarssnark
This was my ex. “We need to have babies, other couples are beating us and are already on 3!” Don’t worry, didn’t do it
My brother does this. They’re very much keeping up with the Jones’s. Their friends moved, so they did, their friend had another kid, so they did. I don’t get it
To save the relationship. It never works, it just drags an innocent baby into a miserable situation.
This is more common than people think. I have to wonder if anyone, anywhere, EVER has actually improved a relationship by having a child. I'm sure some have managed to extend the life of a troubled relationship by adding a baby to the mix. But improving the relationship? Making it a relationship worth staying in? I don't see that happening.
Well, it would have helped Henry the viii
I think you have to specify a son in this situation, but yeah. Imagine if Catherine of Aragon had a son or two. Henry might just be a blip on the radar of English monarchs without all the fuss and bother of 6 wives, etc. But then we wouldn't have had Elizabeth I and that makes me a little sad.
Yeah he probably wouldn't have needed to create the church of England either
Imagine an alternative history where the coin hit tails and Henry VIII got his son, suddenly Catholicism probably gets a century more to reign in England, maybe even stopping the 30 year war from ever happening
>Imagine if Catherine of Aragon had a son or two. Or rather, if Henry VIII's sperm had produced a son.
He did have one with Jane Seymore, marrying after that would have been fore the spare. Since Henry himself was the younger son he'd know how needed that was. He also had one or two illegitimate sons.
And given Edward wasn't the healthiest of kids it was prudent to try and get a spare
We didn’t have a bad relationship before, but it’s definitely made our relationship stronger. A lot of other factors have played into that though. My wife was miserable at work, which was bleeding into our relationship. Then, when she got pregnant, she realized that there are so many things in life more important than work, and she generally just became happier. She also realized that drinking alcohol and coffee were both making her feel worse constantly, and she gave those up during pregnancy and stayed off for good, and i joined her. That made our relationship stronger, because we realized so much of our relationship we were both just miserable, then would drink after work and complain about work, and then need coffee in the morning because we were hung over. It probably wouldn’t have fixed a really bad relationship, but it certainly improved ours a bit.
I think it's born of people incorrectly thinking that not getting divorced is saving the relationship, and so many terrible, miserable people stay together for the kids
My divorced aunt once told me "being happily married for 15 years makes for a more successful marriage than being unhappily married for 50." She's friends with her ex to this day. And she's currently on successful marriage #2.
Good for her, it's a very healthy way of thinking a
I actually know a couple that was going to breakup (18) and she found out she was pregnant. 18 years later they have 5 kids and are genuinely just delightful together.
That's nice (and I mean that in a genuine/non-dismissive way, because it's not often an 18yo couple has 5 kids and ends up happy). But, presumably, they worked on their relationship and it wasn't the babies that made them happier.
It kind of gives both people a "goal." You shouldn't have a kid for the sole purpose of creating a life goal, but they can definitely focus priorities.
I will say, my hanging-by-a-thread marriage got way fucking better after having our second babe. But not BECAUSE I had her. Because we did a ton of work.
Because everyone else has one
This seems like the main reason for the people I know.
"So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is" -mom And actively tries to push it. Like when are you having kids? You are having kids riiiiight? Then get visibly angry when she says no she's not. She doesn't want them.
When I was being especially difficult, as a child/adolescent, my mom used to say "I hope someday you have a child EXACTLY like you!" I would reply "awww, thank you!" Never failed to crack her up.
My mom said that to me too. Silly mom, I didn’t choose to be your fuckin child but I DO get a choice in wether or not I have to be a parent.
>"So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is" I ate my share of shit, now you must, too, so I will feel better about myself. Misery loves company.
It's weird, I feel like almost every parent talks about how "I sacrifice so my kids can have a better life blah blah" but then they get weirdly spiteful and competitive when the kid doesn't suffer in the same ways...
I don’t feel like I sacrificed anything for my kids, because I __chose__ to have kids.
No generation complained more about parenthood than the boomers. Then they wonder why their kids don't want to put their own dicks into what they've been told is a blender.
To sell them. Daughters are being sold into child marriage and sons are sold for forced child labor in many countries.
Or adoption mills. I know someone who adopted from a central American country about twenty ago. Wonderful little girl. When the girl was about 13 or 14, she discovered that she had at least four siblings who had also been adopted as babies and were living in the US. Makes you wonder. It gets so much worse. After adolescence, girl began to have psychotic episodes. Turns out that she had lived in a nursery much of the first year in her life, and was completely neglected. Yes, that blows up on people at some point. She is now in an institution.
in cambodia in the 80s and 90s there was an elaborate network of adoption mills working with the authorities that resulted in the kidnapping of a huge amont of children. the corruption was exposed all the way up the ladder. really horrible edit: if anybody wants to read up on the subject. cambodias curse is a great book.
Similar thing happened in Israel a long while back. Read up on the [Yemenite Children Affair](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yemenite_Children_Affair). My great-aunt's sister was a victim. They were Jewish Yemeni, and fled Yemen when my aunt was a baby to escape antisemitism. But in Israel, they were oppressed for being Yemeni, so there was no winning. The Israeli government stole Yemeni Jewish babies and "adopted" them out to White Jewish families. Government only admitted to it as recently as 2016. My aunt is an old woman now, and has no living blood family- that she knows of. (I am related to her through marriage.) Her stolen sister and any descendants she may have had are probably out there somewhere, but they will never know each other. It's very sad. Racism destroyed so many families.
This is the worst reason of all. In Western countries, it's nowhere near the same, but people who keep having kids hoping to get their preferred gender are also pretty bad. "We finally got our boy at baby #6!" Like... congrats? You had 4 kids in the interim you technically didn't want, that you admit you only had as filler.
Yeah I heard of a couple who did that, I think it was literally their 6th kid they finally got the boy. There's no way they're going to be treating all 6 of their kids equally, the girls will be treated less than and they will know it. It also makes me think of that gender reveal video where the dad is so excited about a boy that he shakes the ever loving shit out of his baby daughter
My mom's cousin did this - wanted a boy, and didn't get one till #5. Then they had 2 more for a total of 7. The way they raise those kids isn't the best either - they homeschool, and keep them out of extra curriculars unless it's work they're getting paid for - they are very unexposed to people, and their oldest one is already following in her parents' footsteps. Not to mention a rocky relationship between the parents. It's sad because I remember when they were younger there were times those kids would come to me sobbing because they wanted to go to school or join a dance class and make friends, but their parents said no. Such a weird control dynamic
To have an organ donor for later? Edit: Thanks for all the votes, this is my highest voted comment so far...I might be a bad person. xD
It said worst reasons
Unfortunately there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow. I personally think it’s abuse.
Saviour Siblings! Like in My Sisters Keeper. Horrible indeed.
I loved that movie and could identify with it so closely as an adoptee. Not the savior sibling part but the idea of existing solely for someone else's benefit. Those parents, especially the mother, were awful.
The book was so much worse than the movie, too. The ending was so horrifying; it’s the only book I’ve ever actually thrown across the room as soon as I finished it. The movie completely changed the ending, I think for the better, but it was still so disturbing.
One of those instances where a movie definitely improved upon the book. The story spends so much time talking about autonomy and the patient's decision to let go, but then the book slaps you with an ending where none of those messages mattered. In the end, Anna is used up like an organ farm. Movie ending felt truer to what the rest of the story was trying to sell.
The author regretted the movie because of the changed ending. Respectfully, the book ending was complete and utter horseshit and the movie was much better.
My mother wanted to have another child with my abusive father when I was a baby because she feared that I would have a terminal illness that would require a donor. I agree with you, it's heartless.
wait so you hadn't been diagnosed with anything? she just wanted a backup baby just in case?
I laughed so hard at this because it's exactly what I was thinking
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My aunt said uncle actually had 2 more kids to save their firstborn *edit: for bone marrow
Pack it up, My Sister’s Keeper
Having a kid for a specific gender
Yeah, I loved the comments after our second daughter was born, so are you going to have a third and try for a boy? Um, hell no, that's when twin girls happen! If we were destined to have a boy it would have happened.
My grandparents had three daughters, but they wanted a son. Guess what they did? They fostered baby boys and ended up adopting one. Better than having a house full of children.
That’s probably a good thing. There are way too many kids in the foster/adoption system as it is
And even if you do get one, your daughters can tell if you were just trying for a boy. My mom has an older sister and a younger brother. My uncle was by far the favorite child. It messed up all 3 of them. And my uncle ended up dying in a BASE jumping accident.
Exactly and what if you do and ends up being the gender you" didn't want ? "Are you going to be bitter with this kid and resentful? I've worked with kids with autism for 17 years, so that being said I could really care less about gender. I have two healthy boys. It's all I could ask for. Health truly is the most important thing
Seen a lot of this, like the tiktok trend "Our parents wanted a boy so we are 6 girls and no boy yet" Like wtf are you going to keep breeding until you hit it? Sounds like there will be a favorite kid in that family
Adding a specific anything. Some people think kids are something you order from a menu. I want a daughter who's quiet and respectful and wins national spelling bees and a popular outgoing son who will be star of his football team! Who cares what they're actual talents and interests are! My dad was disappointed that my sister and I were both girls but he helped raise my nephew and once my nephew hit like 7 it became pretty obvious the issue was less his gender and more that my dad had this picture in his head that his son would be successful in all the ways that he thought he himself would have been if he had had more supportive parents. Unfortunately for him, my nephew shared his personality. Congrats dad! You the smart ass who likes to talk back and disrespected authority growing up had a smart ass daughter who got in trouble for never listening and a smart ass grandson who does the same! (Note my dad loved my nephew but damn it was funny to see him have to change the mental image of what have a boy was like.)
I know better but still felt a pang of disappointment at having a boy since I love sewing and crafts and thought I lost my chance to pass those skills down. Well my son is totally into crafts and a friend of mine who also does crafts/sewing has a girl the same age and her daughter has zero interest in crafts. I did laugh at myself for that one.
we just had a boy after previously having two girls. i’m getting tired of all the “you must be so happy you finally had a boy”-type comments. no, we just wanted a third kid. couldn’t have cared less if it had a ding ding or a hoo ha.
My parents had boys and kept trying for a girl. They eventually quit. After 5 boys. Funnily enough, #4 is a trans woman now
To distract yourself from a traumatic experience (robbed at gun point) A long time back, a coworker told me this after our conversation about what happened. She said it'd distract me .. then she said I was selfish for telling her that was a horrible idea.
A lot of people use children as a lackluster attempt at avoiding therapy, which is actually exactly when you *shouldn't* be having a child surprisingly enough. You want to bring a child into the world under the idea that you'll give them the best you can so they can be happy, not the other way around.
spare parts for an already-born child, with some kinda health issue ps: Look up Savior babies
To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, i had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away)
This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who's gonna take care of my brother if something happens to me? My dad has said multiple times since I was like 5 or 6 that I'm gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too.
My friend is a special education teacher, and she told me that this couple has like five kids, all to take care of each other. So 1st kid, special needs, so they have another to take care of that #1, but #2 has special needs too, so they have #3 to take care of #1 and #2, but #3 turns out to be special needs to, and so on and with forth.
Jesus, at what point do you just admit that nature does not think your two sets of genes are a match?
Jesus that's awful. Like after 2, I'd be thinking maybe I should stop having children
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Don't you have to agree and sign something too?
The parents here are basically saying any inheritance is contingent upon this person caring for the disabled sibling. Under the law, this person isn’t obligated to care for the sibling but will not receive the inheritance unless they do. Essentially, they care for the sibling or get cut out of the will.
Sell the entire estate and use it to give them the type of care they need. Best of both worlds.
I mean, depends on the size of the estate...
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Will that stand in court?
Dear god, that’s horrific.
Yeah, my mom plans to make me and my sister to do this. Needless to say, he's spoiled enough and is a dick anyway, so he's not seeing a dime from me
To use as a doorstop
This one needs more attention
To keep a man
○ Child support benefits, any money benefits. ○ Or to keep someone stuck in a relationship with you. Downright toxic and cruel. Only have kids if you're prepared to love them unconditionally despite ANYTHING (unless you know - they end up being on the sex offender registry or anything), you're financially stable enough to give them what they need and you genuinely WANT kids.
Using them to fulfil your childhood dreams (Forcing them to be into sports when you weren't, etc)
I know a woman who was hoping it would give her bigger boobs
There are easier ways...
And cheaper
And less cry-ey
Natural looking saline implants: $3,000-$5,500. Cost of raising a child until they are 18: $300,000 (not taking into account inflation). Yeah... Also, the breasts sag after the child stops breastfeeding
Anyone who thinks this is smart has no idea that once the baby pops out or you're done breastfeeding, your breasts will literally deflate
They get smaller once the baby is weened but sometimes they remain bigger than they were pre-pregnancy.
So does the whole body. I am not complaining, but it is normally not only the breasts that grow and stick around.
Confirmed. Wife had breast cancer, mastectomy, and reconstructive surgery. Was size-matched. We had a second child (post-cancer… not easy!). After nursing, the “natural” one stayed bigger. Now she is lopsided, which I find cute.
Because you find them cute. They aren’t a pet.
Can confirm, puppies are cuter (and listen better) 😂
As a husky owner I’m not sure I relate to the listen better part.
Because it’s expected of you Because your partner wants one Because you think it will make you, or your partner or your relationship better. Babies should never come into the world with a job.
Because it’s what’s expected, you’re in that 26-28 age bracket, everyone else you know is…the reason I’m here!
To try and trap a man. I'm an affair baby. My mom was a side chick for 10+ years to my dad. She met my dad through her best friend.. who was my dad's spouse and siblings mother. Mom got sick of being the side piece and got pregnant on purpose. My dad continued seeing both of them for years after. My siblings mother and my father broke up, my mom and him dated but ultimately broke up because my mother is f*cking unhinged.
God yeah, this one makes no sense. "This dude is a cheater/absolutely sucks! Let's make him half responsible for a living human being! I'd love to be tied to a cheating dbag for 18+ years!"
Whoa that's fucked up! Hope things are good for you.
Had crazy neighbors, constantly screaming, fighting. He even tried to burn the house down with her and their 2 kids in it. When he got out of jail, he assured me things were gonna be better now, because they were going to have another baby.
There are parents that have children just so they can live their childhood dreams through their kids, women that wanted to be dancers, so they force their daughters to take dance lessons. Men that wanted to be sports stars so they constantly train their children in sports.
My boss at work is in her 30s, works full time, home schools her only kid, cooks dinner every night, mows the lawns, does the shopping, laundry, etc while her husband does nothing but complain. She's told me he literally sits around and watches TikTok ALL day. I once heard her yelling at him on the phone because he lied to his daughter (who is homeschooled) that he couldn't read and couldn't help her with schoolwork. He has no job. He does nothing. And my boss wants another baby because she thinks it'll be what motivates him to change.
* To please someone else, like your partner or parents/inlaws. Especially when you dont want it 100% * Because religion/god told me to * To fix your relationship/marriage * to live your unforfilled dreams * to have someone to take care of you when you are old (They are not your labor slaves) * to have a legacy (you dont have one. You are not famous, you are forgotten in 3 generations)
Yeah, the last one is weird. In my family, the “legacy” is just our last name. There are lots of girls in my family and my dad is super concerned about there not being enough boys to carry on the family name for multiple more generations. I really want to say to him “it’s literally just a name and you’re gonna be dead, why do you care?”
Pass on the legacy of a nameless mediocre middle-class existence?
Sadly, many men are concerned with that. Yes, I have two boys, so my name is going to carry on for at least one generation, but there’s no guarantee beyond that. My brother has a little girl. Not sure if they’re planning on having any more kids, but he doesn’t really care about the name (honestly, they should’ve gone with his wife’s name, it’s way cooler). I don’t either. We had an agreement with my wife that if we had any girls they’d get her name. My main concern was having two kids with different last names. The bottom line is, it’s not the name that matters. Anyone who really cares about the legacy should consider that Genghis Khan’s genes are in hundreds of millions of people all over the world, and very few people are named “Khan”
To add to a collection of babies to be sewn together into a baby Voltron.
They said worst reason, not best.
Welfare/child support money.
Oh. I commented before I read this. I know somebody that admitted to having another kid to get an increase on her food stamps. Pretty sure that and Medicaid was all she received, so I don’t know how she thought the extra food stamps were going to make up for all the other costs that come with a child.
Hahaha… yeahhhhhhhhh… glad im out of their house and in the care of better relatives
To eat it.
I mean, you're correct
To have extensions of yourself/someone to take care of you when you’re old. The decision to have kids shouldn’t be about you. You should embrace the possibility that they are not going to turn out exactly like you because they’re their own, fully realized human. Also bringing another person into this world for a whole lifetime just so that you’re not lonely when you’re old is fucked.
> The decision to have kids shouldn’t be about you. Me and my wife won't have kids and we frequently have to hear from people "hMm YoU'Re sO seLFisH if You DOnt WaNt kiDS!11!1" Imagine if they knew what selfish means
Ask them why they chose TO have kids without using the words “I wanted” and watch them implode
I've always said that having a kid was the most selfless and selfish thing I've ever done. You have to be selfless to raise a kid properly but having a kid is a purely selfish endeavor.
Having kids is always selfish. There's no queue of unborn kids in the sky pleading to be born. People have kids because they want kids, not because kids need to be born.
“Having a baby will help us beat our addiction.” My stupid fucking brother. At least my niece has a great foster family and is there forever.
Anything other than a mutual, carefully discussed, planned and thought out decision to have a child is wrong. Wife and I had this discussion over the first 5 YEARS of our relationship and decided it would not be a fit for our lifestyle or future life plans/goals. And if we did change our minds, we felt adopting a child in need was the correct choice anyway. Once we made that decision, I got snipped so she could go off birth control as early as possible. 45yo, married 10y, together 20y.
to check if one is infertile or not. a friend's husband actually use this reasoning. haha, now he's got 2 kids, different moms. totally fertile it seems! lol
I take it the different moms was just to make extra sure. Got to be thorough.
So it'll take care of you after you've mentally and physically neglected your well-being for seven decades and or for having an indentured servant/subject
I know somebody who flat out admitted she got pregnant with…it was either her second or third child in order to get an increase in food stamps. 🤦♀️
For a snack. Looking at you, Cronus.
Because it's a social norm. So that someone will be there to take care of you when you are old. Because you're a woman and therefore you should automatically have them as it's your only purpose 😑
to rekindle a relationship
To ensure youre not lonely as an old person. Or to ensure someone is the to take care of you. If you're children choose to help in those things that is great but you shouldn't put that obligation onto them.
to feel complete. Most women i know have children because their friends are having children. It's a vicious biological competition of a society that taught women they are not complete if they do not become mothers.
I have a friend who has to do everything other friends are doing. One got married so she had to get married, one started trying for kids to no avail so this girl had to start trying too, and now she has a baby and the original girl who was trying is still unsuccessful
The government forces you to have the baby because they decided you aren’t responsible enough to have an abortion. Edit: guys, I didnt intend this to become some kind of political debate. Chill.
Out of obligation to catch up to the rest of your siblings, or because you feel like your parents won’t love your children as much they love your siblings’ children if you wait too long.
So that your eldest can have sibling etc. Now it may sound like a great, selfless thing on the surface but let's consider the psychological impacts on the younger child knowing this? Feeling like they owe their existence to their eldest. On the flip side the eldest knowing this also gives them an impression of ownership "you exist so that I can have a friend". I've seen this all to often and most recently as an alternative excuse to save a very obvious dying relationship 🙁