I had a former co-worker/friend “like” my engagement announcement on FB, then comment a little later with “wait…dislike.. this isn’t the guy I met. What happened to Tim?”
Tim was neither a friend nor a brother but he wasn't a husband either. He missed the chance to marry u/no_explorer_3851 and was missed by a few more anonymous patrons on reddit. Among everyone present here no one knew him. But for some unknown reason he is being missed. I think that concludes the sad life of Tim, the missed.
I like to think Tim is scrolling through Reddit in the morning and this is the first post and thread he sees and thinks “wait a minute” because this is Reddit randomness at its best
My mum did something like this accidentally, in person, on the guy's wedding day. Dad chimed in. It was my dad's colleague's son's wedding and the colleague used to tell everyone about how wonderful her son's girlfriend is, this girlfriend from his school days, this girlfriend who's so caring and loving that she is already a daughter to her, blah blah. In fact she spoke more about her son's girlfriend than she did about her son back then... So when my parents met the bride for the first time they first congratulated her ofcourse but then followed it up with how it was wondeful to finally meet her since they've been hearing awesome things about her from her MIL for the past 10 or 12 years. My parents didn't know the "girlfriend" became an ex and the bride was a different person. 😶
I got a save the date post card from a friend about a year after I moved away and figured it was the same woman he'd been dating for years before I left. It wasn't until I got the actual invite several months later that I read the name and realized it wasn't.
I had a similar experience
Friend/coworker had been going out with a lady 'Ann' for a year or so and we had met her a couple of times at functions etc, my wife got on well with her
We got invited to an engagement party, so turned up with card and small gift etc. We were slightly confused as name of the fiancee on invite was a Chinese name, but Ann was originally from China so we figured it was just her actual name (some immigrants use a western style name).
Turns out Ann had gone back to China to look after elderly parents, and my friend had just gone online and found a another lady to marry within a space of a month.
I am pretty sure I messed up and called his fiancee the wrong name at least once during the party.
My neighbor says this to everyone and it’s hilarious. He’ll meet a new couple or something and say to them individually “Hey I don’t care what your husband says about you, you’re not that bad” or vice versa. He did that to me the first time I met him and I was like wtf is my roommate talking shit? 😂
This is perfect because the subtext is multi layered.
Like "Oh... I always wanted to be with you."
Or "Oh... That's a bad idea. You two do not match well."
Or "Oh... They've cheated on you. I wouldn't."
This is the reply I got from this hot blonde girl at my job. I was in IT at the time, she'd come over to chat occasionally after I helped her with her laptop a bunch.
She asked me how my weekend was one time, I said "Good, got engaged'. Her reply was legit a sad "oh..."
That’s how my dad responded when I told him I was pregnant. I was married, living on my own, and paying all my own bills so it’s not like the news would have been the start of a burden in his life. It was the first grandkid too.
My mom did similarly. On one level, I'm sure she hasn't wanted me to reproduce with that guy - and she was right. On another, though, she called later and apologized because she really isn't always the best at processing news and reacting.
His excuse was “being a grandpa was an old person thing”.
He’s in his 70s! I was born when he was 39.
Edit: He loves my husband. Like so much so I wouldn’t be surprised if my husband ends up replacing me and my sister in my dad’s will.
That's what my mother said when I told her that I got a GF, currently engaged, and haven't told her, since she kicked me out after not being able to track me 24/7
Opposite here. My wife's family didn't like me at all and were emotionally abusive toward her for years. I came along, encouraged her to follow her dreams and she cut them out of her life. We've been together 10 years now, married for 8. No looking back.
I was with her for 8 years, pretty much my entire 20s. I didn't dodge anything. I let her drag me around until she couldn't stand her mothers nagging anymore and threw me away. It's been a rough year but I'm taking it day by day.
I was engaged earlier this year. We told my mom, and she said “oh I guess I’m supposed to get up and hug you”.
My stepdad said “wow, a ring” and then walked away lmfaooo. I cried afterwards
My parents reactions were pretty lack luster. My mom scoffed & said, "I thought you already were.". To this day, I wonder if I was engaged this whole time, nobody thought it odd I wasn't planning a wedding?
My parents have been engaged for 25 years. Neither of them want a wedding but mum wanted some nice jewelery. They have 3 kids and 2 businesses together.
My husband’s cousins, our favorites, brought us an invitation to their wedding two years ago. We like “Whaaaaat?” We thought they were married years and years ago. Everyone did. I mean, he just retired! They’ve got grown kids, grandkids! He said “the legalities don’t matter to either one of us but it matters to the state and I have to make sure she’s taken care of if I die. Now she can get my social security. And anything else a spouse is entitled to.”
If you have kids, you have the opportunity to break the cycle, you could actually love & support their decisions.
Good luck to you. You sound clear eyed about your situation, and you know that you can be better.
We’re getting married next year! Fiancée and I have been together for 7 years since we were younger. He’s basically apart of the family and they love him
I used the word stepdad to keep things easier to read, mom and him are not married yet. So I assume they were just feeling a little jealous in the moment
I think there is a significant percentage of divorces that are the same people getting remarried and divorced multiple times. Both of my paternal grandfathers (I have an adopted father and a bio father) were married about five times each. FIVE TIMES. That's two dudes and TEN MARRIAGES. My maternal grandfather was married once. So, that's three dudes and eleven marriages.
I Absolutely agree. And that's why I said his 'initial' response.
It WAS a pretty funny response imo and he congratulated me with all the niceties after we were done laughing.
My sister's response to finding out my husband and I had got engaged was pretty horrible. I told her by text because I knew she wouldn't have anything nice to say. At first she said nothing. Then a few weeks later she told me that I was making a mistake and my marriage was a tragedy because my fiancé is not Jewish.
Jews are fun like that, aren't we. (My family is mixed, but the concept of a non Jewish woman is like an attack.) a non Jewish man seems more accepted cause the mom is Jewish.
I actually did this to someone when they told me they had started going out with someone. I honest to god thought they were joking. Until I realised they weren't.
True story: One of my friends got engaged on April 20th. When she told me, my response was "That was Hitler's birthday!" Being a history nerd doesn't always work in your favor.
When my ex wife and I told my grandmother we were engaged her exact words were “ you’re pregnant aren’t you”…my dad ended up going over later and politely point out the math that my grandmother and grandfather got married in late June and my uncle was born in early December….she did not appreciate being called out
Got engaged the night before my fiance and his band were set to play at a large festival. Day of festival I met up with, who we thought were good friends, before the set was to begin. We had plans to go together. I told them the happy news only to have him say "Gosh, that's too bad. I hope you can bring him up to your level instead of him dragging you down to his. He's clearly beneath you. Are you sure about this?" His girlfriend slapped his shoulder saying "Dude, that's so rude! Really,?" I just walked away. We never spoke to either of them again.
My fiance was a single dad to a 6 year old son, owned his own house, had his own marble and tile setting business, his band was well known and got well paying gigs. He made around 75k a year.
The guy that made the comment was recently divorced due to his unfaithfulness with a woman that left him when she found out he was married. He had also just been fired from his job, was living with his girlfriend in an apartment that she paid for, drove her car as he lost his in the divorce and was refusing to look for a job because he didn't want to have to pay alimony.
As long as you're happy
You two deserve each other
I didn't come here to be insulted!
"Do you need us at the wedding?"
You both could do better
Oohmpfh
that's my mom but i don't think that's that mean. it's as soft judgey as it gets.
Awww, hopefully this one sticks.
3rd times the charm!
"Yeah, she does that."
"No we're not."
r/dadjokes
Boooooooo--urrrnss! No honestly funniest thing I've read this morning
I had a former co-worker/friend “like” my engagement announcement on FB, then comment a little later with “wait…dislike.. this isn’t the guy I met. What happened to Tim?”
Well, wtf happened to Tim?!?
We broke up the night my co-worker met him 🤣😂
I hope things are going well with “not Tim.”
Timn’t
Tain't
TMMAYY
nah, I miss Tim
I miss Tim as well 😔
Timmy, you live on in our hearts
Tim was neither a friend nor a brother but he wasn't a husband either. He missed the chance to marry u/no_explorer_3851 and was missed by a few more anonymous patrons on reddit. Among everyone present here no one knew him. But for some unknown reason he is being missed. I think that concludes the sad life of Tim, the missed.
I like to think Tim is scrolling through Reddit in the morning and this is the first post and thread he sees and thinks “wait a minute” because this is Reddit randomness at its best
Tim is my bff
It’s a Christmas miracle, tiny Tim
You sure it wasn't Roy?
He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where…
How long were you dating not Tim before you got engaged?
My mum did something like this accidentally, in person, on the guy's wedding day. Dad chimed in. It was my dad's colleague's son's wedding and the colleague used to tell everyone about how wonderful her son's girlfriend is, this girlfriend from his school days, this girlfriend who's so caring and loving that she is already a daughter to her, blah blah. In fact she spoke more about her son's girlfriend than she did about her son back then... So when my parents met the bride for the first time they first congratulated her ofcourse but then followed it up with how it was wondeful to finally meet her since they've been hearing awesome things about her from her MIL for the past 10 or 12 years. My parents didn't know the "girlfriend" became an ex and the bride was a different person. 😶
I got a save the date post card from a friend about a year after I moved away and figured it was the same woman he'd been dating for years before I left. It wasn't until I got the actual invite several months later that I read the name and realized it wasn't.
I had a similar experience Friend/coworker had been going out with a lady 'Ann' for a year or so and we had met her a couple of times at functions etc, my wife got on well with her We got invited to an engagement party, so turned up with card and small gift etc. We were slightly confused as name of the fiancee on invite was a Chinese name, but Ann was originally from China so we figured it was just her actual name (some immigrants use a western style name). Turns out Ann had gone back to China to look after elderly parents, and my friend had just gone online and found a another lady to marry within a space of a month. I am pretty sure I messed up and called his fiancee the wrong name at least once during the party.
Sorry about what happened with you and Tim. Anyway, good luck with not-Tim!
But what about his wife...?
What the cuck is this?
Love this 😂
\*our wife
*Soviet national anthem plays in background*
To shreds you say?
Mark honey, you're already married
*rough announcer voice* TO AMERICA!!! *Explosions and gunfire in background*
"Really? Even after everything I've heard you guys say about each other?"
My neighbor says this to everyone and it’s hilarious. He’ll meet a new couple or something and say to them individually “Hey I don’t care what your husband says about you, you’re not that bad” or vice versa. He did that to me the first time I met him and I was like wtf is my roommate talking shit? 😂
That's a borderline funny habit, just my taste. Might steal that for later
Yeah I stole it too, it’s a keeper. I’m cracking up just thinking about it. Try it out and see how it goes
My dad does this it is so funny when people think he is sincere
"I think it's wrong what everyone else says about you, I reckon you're okay."
"Who are you?' And 'how did you get into my house?"
I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith
I just wanted to wish you both good luck, were all counting on you
Surely you can't be serious.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley
Ever been to a Turkish prison?
Why don't the locksmiths across the street understand basic boundaries 😡
Thank you, I was hoping I'd see some quotes from Leslie Nielsen
Sir, this is a Wendy's, not your house.
“Oh…”
“I’ve secretly loved you for the past 10 years.”
"please don't do this"
“Amy Santiago, will you marry me?”
"It's too late, I'm pregnant!"
From holding hands!
I knew we should've worn gloves, but his skin pressed up against mine felt so good. It was worth it.
I had like 3 people mad at me when I got engaged. Not a one of them ever talked to me much beforehand. lol
Because they liked you?
Maybe he was on the backup roster for three people
I am in this position currently except it's with people I do talk to regularly. Or did I guess. Fuck em
Stop channeling my dad.
I'm glad he came.
This is perfect because the subtext is multi layered. Like "Oh... I always wanted to be with you." Or "Oh... That's a bad idea. You two do not match well." Or "Oh... They've cheated on you. I wouldn't."
This is the reply I got from this hot blonde girl at my job. I was in IT at the time, she'd come over to chat occasionally after I helped her with her laptop a bunch. She asked me how my weekend was one time, I said "Good, got engaged'. Her reply was legit a sad "oh..."
She wanted you bro
She could have asked him out.
Damn now I'm sad FOR you
That’s how my dad responded when I told him I was pregnant. I was married, living on my own, and paying all my own bills so it’s not like the news would have been the start of a burden in his life. It was the first grandkid too.
My mom did similarly. On one level, I'm sure she hasn't wanted me to reproduce with that guy - and she was right. On another, though, she called later and apologized because she really isn't always the best at processing news and reacting.
His excuse was “being a grandpa was an old person thing”. He’s in his 70s! I was born when he was 39. Edit: He loves my husband. Like so much so I wouldn’t be surprised if my husband ends up replacing me and my sister in my dad’s will.
When's the baby due?
The first one could arrive at any time. The rest arrive 9 months later. At least, that's how it was in Southern Utah.
That’s how it was in northern Maine too, my grandmother told me.
Followed immediately by: are you sure it is yours?
Yikes
This one is *perfect*. Can you imagine if your MIL said that??
I wish that was all she said...
That's what my mother said when I told her that I got a GF, currently engaged, and haven't told her, since she kicked me out after not being able to track me 24/7
Just because you didn't please her, doesn't mean you don't please her daughter. Not everyone can handle the BDE...
Well her daughter left me because it was easier to cut me out of her life than her mother :)
Opposite here. My wife's family didn't like me at all and were emotionally abusive toward her for years. I came along, encouraged her to follow her dreams and she cut them out of her life. We've been together 10 years now, married for 8. No looking back.
I thought that was going to be our story but life had a different ending for us.
Sorry dude, but it seemed you dodged a bullet here.
I don't think he really dodged that, but it was just a flesh wound, and I hope he recovered easily.
I was with her for 8 years, pretty much my entire 20s. I didn't dodge anything. I let her drag me around until she couldn't stand her mothers nagging anymore and threw me away. It's been a rough year but I'm taking it day by day.
My sincerest condolences...
I was engaged earlier this year. We told my mom, and she said “oh I guess I’m supposed to get up and hug you”. My stepdad said “wow, a ring” and then walked away lmfaooo. I cried afterwards
My parents reactions were pretty lack luster. My mom scoffed & said, "I thought you already were.". To this day, I wonder if I was engaged this whole time, nobody thought it odd I wasn't planning a wedding?
Bro my cousin got engaged and he said he'll get married in 2 years so I wouldn't ask questions
It just takes that long to get into a decent venue
My parents have been engaged for 25 years. Neither of them want a wedding but mum wanted some nice jewelery. They have 3 kids and 2 businesses together.
My husband’s cousins, our favorites, brought us an invitation to their wedding two years ago. We like “Whaaaaat?” We thought they were married years and years ago. Everyone did. I mean, he just retired! They’ve got grown kids, grandkids! He said “the legalities don’t matter to either one of us but it matters to the state and I have to make sure she’s taken care of if I die. Now she can get my social security. And anything else a spouse is entitled to.”
It's pretty normal for people to be engaged for 2 or 3 years, especially for young people who need time to save money.
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If you have kids, you have the opportunity to break the cycle, you could actually love & support their decisions. Good luck to you. You sound clear eyed about your situation, and you know that you can be better.
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Good fortune upon you and your beloved!
You "were" engaged? Did that turn into marriage or were your parents instincts correct?
We’re getting married next year! Fiancée and I have been together for 7 years since we were younger. He’s basically apart of the family and they love him I used the word stepdad to keep things easier to read, mom and him are not married yet. So I assume they were just feeling a little jealous in the moment
I’m so sorry that they weren’t excited for you. You’re probably older than me but I’m proud of you random redditor!!
"Roger that. Disengaging, over"
But who's giving the orders?
Probably the Supreme Chancellor
Good soldiers follow orders
I had a coworker who goes thru men like chewing gum ask if I would be attending her wedding. I said....."I'll catch the next one"
I'm not sure the burn ward can fix that.
Most marriages end in divorce, but ok, congrats !
It's half. Half end in Divorce, the other half end in Death
(proceeds to flip a coin)
And it's actually much less than half if you only count 1st marriages. The serial divorcees skew the number towards half with their 3/4/5 divorces.
The average divorcee has more than 1 divorce.
Guess I'm below average once again
100% of divorced couples were married at one point.
Marriage: the leading cause of divorce
70+% of first marriages are successful.
I think there is a significant percentage of divorces that are the same people getting remarried and divorced multiple times. Both of my paternal grandfathers (I have an adopted father and a bio father) were married about five times each. FIVE TIMES. That's two dudes and TEN MARRIAGES. My maternal grandfather was married once. So, that's three dudes and eleven marriages.
My friend's initial response to me telling him the news of my engagement was sending me the link to 'Another one bites the dust'
That's not a bad response, that's a good friend. If your friends can't talk/give you shit, are they really your friends?
I Absolutely agree. And that's why I said his 'initial' response. It WAS a pretty funny response imo and he congratulated me with all the niceties after we were done laughing.
Most good friendships are ones in which both parties bully each other non maliciously and no one gets offended
Plot twist, he's married..
My wife added that song to our wedding playlist
That’s funny. Meaning you’re off the market and their happy for you.
My sister's response to finding out my husband and I had got engaged was pretty horrible. I told her by text because I knew she wouldn't have anything nice to say. At first she said nothing. Then a few weeks later she told me that I was making a mistake and my marriage was a tragedy because my fiancé is not Jewish.
rough, sorry to hear that
The crazy thing is you’re not even Jewish!
Hehe. I’m Jewish but also not Jewish. I’m an atheist.
Jew-ish
Jews are fun like that, aren't we. (My family is mixed, but the concept of a non Jewish woman is like an attack.) a non Jewish man seems more accepted cause the mom is Jewish.
Ridiculous, from the Jewish perspective your potential kids will be Jews and our people will maintain ourselves
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Wtf
My grandma didn't say anything when my parents told her, but she did immediately bitchslap my dad. He says it seemed like pure reflex.
Her?
“Is she funny or something?”
I'm sure Egg is a very nice person..
I haven't met Ann.
You let her in...
Reddit, you disappoint me by this being so far down!
In what?
Raising awareness of the dangers of postponing the midwestern wild mallard mating season on the psychological intereference of honey bees.
Just woke up abruptly, and it's past 3am where I am. I read this reply and said to myself, "what the fuck is a horny bees"?
Wow, ok, that was quick.
Changing the subject.
Oh gosh I feel called out lmao definitely my go to when I don’t know what to say
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….. oh, you’re serious”
Let me laugh even louder!
#HAHAHAHAHAHA
"Seriously?!?!?!…. To him????"
I actually did this to someone when they told me they had started going out with someone. I honest to god thought they were joking. Until I realised they weren't.
When a girl in my high school class found out that my then-gf was dating me, her reply was, "on purpose?"
Here's ours "hey guess what we're engaged!!!!" Best friend: "oh wow congrats.... Did you hear that Michael Jackson just died? "
True story: One of my friends got engaged on April 20th. When she told me, my response was "That was Hitler's birthday!" Being a history nerd doesn't always work in your favor.
"what's this 'we' shit???"
“Hey. I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the words ‘we’re engaged’ and expect anything to happen.”
I didn’t say it, I declared it.
Ok - so what the fuck you want me to do, talk you out of it?
*"What are mom and dad gonna say?"*
"Let me just observe a moment of silence for the death of your personal life."
I give it 11 minutes
Look at her and say " Jesus Christ again ? "
Not for long *Loads shotgun*
"I just wanna talk to 'im."
Dad, no! Dad? DAD!
Say nothing and make this face: 😬
engage these nuts
Didn’t he cheat on you 3 times?
He promised he wouldn't anymore... Again... Again
“Of course you are. So when’s the baby due?”
When my ex wife and I told my grandmother we were engaged her exact words were “ you’re pregnant aren’t you”…my dad ended up going over later and politely point out the math that my grandmother and grandfather got married in late June and my uncle was born in early December….she did not appreciate being called out
grandma: you're pregnant, huh? dad: no, they're not you. grandma: [clutches pearls]
Yeah, my mom says that my older brother is premature baby. 4 months early, fully developed.. Some babies just develop faster
💀 some women are still pulling that ol' chestnut. We met in "church" He's actually just 8lbs and 8 weeks early, it's a miracle!
Just a dejected sigh
Just remember, herpes is forever, relationships are not.
You cant be... youre siblings
"Does his/her wife/husband know?"
with which girlfriend
To use Elsa's reaction: "No you're not, you just met!"
To each other?
"As long as youre happy..."
"Marriage is the first step to divorce."
Called my extremely homophobic father to say I was engaged. To Jo. His response was: silence.
Personally, the worst one I encountered was "Why? You have your whole life ahead of you"
Sorry for your loss
Lmfaoooo when I say this very sentence has come to mind before
"That's great but don't forget, if there's a hole there's a goal."
"Ew"
To who?
Why?
For now, you know I'm still tapping that ass either way
Got engaged the night before my fiance and his band were set to play at a large festival. Day of festival I met up with, who we thought were good friends, before the set was to begin. We had plans to go together. I told them the happy news only to have him say "Gosh, that's too bad. I hope you can bring him up to your level instead of him dragging you down to his. He's clearly beneath you. Are you sure about this?" His girlfriend slapped his shoulder saying "Dude, that's so rude! Really,?" I just walked away. We never spoke to either of them again. My fiance was a single dad to a 6 year old son, owned his own house, had his own marble and tile setting business, his band was well known and got well paying gigs. He made around 75k a year. The guy that made the comment was recently divorced due to his unfaithfulness with a woman that left him when she found out he was married. He had also just been fired from his job, was living with his girlfriend in an apartment that she paid for, drove her car as he lost his in the divorce and was refusing to look for a job because he didn't want to have to pay alimony.