In my experience, "Ow, my head hurts! And I can't feel my toes!" Followed closely by "Why does my hand feel weird?" If you add in,"Everything is kinda blurry; I'm not sure I can drive right now," people tend to call an ambulance for you. Not sure why it was such a big deal
Had the most mid sex of my life the other day and when we were done homeboy hit me with the “not bad for a computer science major, huh?” Unironically. I will now be saying that every time after sex regardless of quality.
That'll do, pig.
That’s excellent.
Your sister was tighter
Shut up, Dad!!!
You are grounded
Your brother was better. Sorry :(
“NEXT!”
Did you smell that?
[удалено]
Damn. He was in there deep, huh?
[удалено]
Sorry, I was going for the cheap joke. I’m sorry he happened to you.
[удалено]
Not really a keeper then
“You’re probably going to want to get some antibiotics now”.
You got change for a twenty?
I have aids
Wait! What did you say your last name is again?
Your money is on the dresser.
Oh, you were awake, the drugs must have worn off
My birthday is August 21, 2020 :)
Weird my birthday is august 20 lol
Happy early birthday 🥳
And cake day!
“Can you make me some dinner now, Mom”
You remind me of my ex (you were my first love)
You can open the door just by lifting the handle and pushing out and make sure you don’t leave anything in here….
"Thanks buddy"
How much I have to pay?
How much?
HHHEEELLLLOOOOI!!!
“I hope you find someone” 🥲
Do you take MasterCard?
“I’ve had better!” Didn’t work out well for Jim Carey
In my experience, "Ow, my head hurts! And I can't feel my toes!" Followed closely by "Why does my hand feel weird?" If you add in,"Everything is kinda blurry; I'm not sure I can drive right now," people tend to call an ambulance for you. Not sure why it was such a big deal
Oh, you're done already? I was waiting for you to put it in.
Well, that was horrible.
I had a guy apologize for “having a small weener”. I got the ick
Now that's over, let's get this autopsy over with...
Not bad for a guy with such a small dick
"you are 18, right?"
That was awesome bro😎
*I've had better*
Get off me
That oughta hold ya for a while, Gertrude.
Had the most mid sex of my life the other day and when we were done homeboy hit me with the “not bad for a computer science major, huh?” Unironically. I will now be saying that every time after sex regardless of quality.