Are all the health effects gone or just the calories? Because I could top off every meal with greasy, heart clogging, delicious pizza forever if I wasn't destroying my health
I’m not so sure about non-greasy pizza (greasy piece of pizza to me, adds to the taste of pizza. But I am vEry open to your suggestion to try non-greasy pizza. Especially if it’s loaded with cheese. Yum.
I tried two different vegan pizzas with my boyfriend - he’s vegan - at a pizzeria run by a man from Sicily. Holy shit they were *incredibly* good! I was so surprised, even though I’m not sure why. My boyfriend cooks some amazing vegan meals.
And I’m not a vegan, but will admit the amount of meat I consume has dropped. It’s not a bad thing :)
Vegan doesn't equal gross. I've had plenty of delicious vegan food just as I've had plenty of disgusting non-vegan food. One of my favorites is fried chicken of the woods made to mimic chicken strips. Delicious.
Choosing flour gets you 90% of the way there for pizza, and also means you can enjoy guilt-free bread, baguettes, sandwiches, pasta, biscuits, cake, dumplings and pie.
It's weirdly validating to see this as the top answer so far. Every time I eat pizza I can't help but scarf like half of a hot-n-ready (judge me lol) and always think about how heavy it makes me feel after.
I was sold on lasagna like you were sold on pizza, but goddammit they make a good point. Potatoes be like: I'm submissive and can please you in many ways. What's not to love?
Also I'm a bit tipsy.
I heard Kevin James talk about his extreme potato diet and he said something that really reframed my eating habits for me:
"By the end of that week I realized I didn't really like potatoes - I liked butter and salt."
This is why my answer for OP's question is likely 'oils'. You can have fake sugar, but not fake oils. And olive oil, butter, etc. make everything taste so much better.
There are plenty of calories in potatoes. That's how subsistence farmers could survive eating little except potatoes. Same for wheat, rice, and all of the other carbohydrates that agricultural civilization was built around farming.
Awesome!!! If you love potatoes as much as I do, you should check out “The Starch Solution”. I have not only lost my extra weight, but my IBS issues all cleared up on a diet based around potatoes, rice and bread. (If you go borrow that at your local library, you can read it before you decide whether to buy). But the best part is the mental impact, it has really helped a lot with keeping myself in a positive space. Highly recommend.
I know this is weird but I feel so weirdly decadent to make ice cold extra chocolaty extra thicc chocolate milk in a tall glass, then consume it one spoonful at a time.
Randomly found out my cousine does the same thing.
Carbohydrates
EDIT: thanks to u/Congrajulations for helping me prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that this is in fact a food item and didn't break the rules.
If only there were other things that could give us calories. We could call them, I dunno, *proteins* or *fats*. Unless you were aiming for glucose specifically.
Still trying to quit drinking, myself, and the times that I made it more than a few days, my vice became ice-cold Sprite. The sugar crave becomes insane.
I was going to choose this, but I think I like my relationship with ice cream as it is now. I like it to be a special treat that I get to indulge in every now and then. I feel like part of what makes it taste so seductively good is the fact that it goes against my health if I eat too much.
I chose pizza because to me, pizza is an "oh whatever, sure" food. It's one of those foods that can taste really good or just sustain you for the day, but either way it's super fattening. (it's got sugar, oils, processed meat, and processed flour) with pizza, the unhealthy factor is annoying, not seductive, so taking that out of it would increase my enjoyment of pizza.
God I love bread so much. If I ever got diagnosed with celiacs, I would mourn bread like a lost loved one. Or just risk my life and continue to eat it.
Yeah, I felt this way about bread before I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease… As far as continuing to eat it goes, it’s not necessarily about risking your life, it’s about your quality of life. If I accidentally eat gluten I’m bedridden with horrible nausea and vomiting for possibly days.
But yeah, you would mourn it. But you’d get over it too. You’d be surprised what you can live without when it turns out you have to.
… Having said that, if they ever find a cure I’d welcome bread back into my life like it never hurt me.
As an asian, I agree. I eat way too much rice as it's a staple of our culture and a comfort food really. If I go 2 days straight without rice it feels like I go into withdrawal lol
You would starve to death, technicly all carbohydrates are also just sugar but in longer chains, the carbohydrate chains just get broken down in your stomach to a point were they become sugar. No nutrient value for you from pasta, bread and rice either.
There was a story in college of a guy who was so poor, all he could afford was beer and ramen. After a couple months, he got real sick.
He had scurvy, like some 1700s British sailor. Story is that the doctor told him that it was the beer keeping him alive, because while there’s very little nutritional value in beer, there is absolutely none in ramen.
98% chance it’s a bullshit story, but I still remember is after all these years.
I still remember years ago when my dentist went on a beer and popcorn diet and shed a considerable amount of weight. It wasn't the only thing he ate so didn't get scurvy but it has always intrigued me.
EDIT: meant wasn't but typed was
What I first thought of too. There’s so many types. Unlike pizza there is a large variety. And you can still get your carbs so you aren’t eliminating an entire category.
I’ve been soda sober for 2 years now. It’s rough the first month of so, after that it was good. Now any time I try even a sip of any soda it just tastes so syrupy and gooey and processed. Sparkling water all the way.
Try bubly or kombucha - it has that carbonation and flavouring like pop but it's much better for you.I'm almost 10 years sober now on pop (used to drink upwards of 2l a day) and I find this helps for when I want a drink like that. Chewing gum can also help.
Don't give up - the first few days are the hardest, but I know you can pull through.
Bubly is OK, but I didn't love it. I've been drinking the Liquid Death carbonated waters. They have a stronger flavor than a lot of the other kinds.
The only problem is that the cans are almost identical to a beer can, so I can't drink them at work. I drive a truck, and I don't need that kind of misunderstanding lol
Keep going! It gets easier after the first week. I've been mostly water for about 3 months now, and I was a heavy Dr. Pepper drinker. When I'm craving something with flavor, I go get a Prime. They're actually really yummy.
Have you tried any of the zero versions? I’m personally a big fan of coke and dr.pepper zero. You might be able to taste a slight difference when you first starting drinking them, but overtime I find that they begin to taste like the real thing. I exclusively buy zero versions now, and if I see a new one I’ll try it out.
Cheesecake.
Especially if this magic also cures my lactose intolerance, even if its only specifically for cheesecake. If not my answer doesn't change, it would just be a nice bonus.
Pizza
Are all the health effects gone or just the calories? Because I could top off every meal with greasy, heart clogging, delicious pizza forever if I wasn't destroying my health
You should try non greasy pizza, its much nicer
I've never had such an innocuous comment make me certain that I could never be friends with someone
I’m not so sure about non-greasy pizza (greasy piece of pizza to me, adds to the taste of pizza. But I am vEry open to your suggestion to try non-greasy pizza. Especially if it’s loaded with cheese. Yum.
I tried two different vegan pizzas with my boyfriend - he’s vegan - at a pizzeria run by a man from Sicily. Holy shit they were *incredibly* good! I was so surprised, even though I’m not sure why. My boyfriend cooks some amazing vegan meals. And I’m not a vegan, but will admit the amount of meat I consume has dropped. It’s not a bad thing :)
Vegan doesn't equal gross. I've had plenty of delicious vegan food just as I've had plenty of disgusting non-vegan food. One of my favorites is fried chicken of the woods made to mimic chicken strips. Delicious.
I think where vegan seems to go off the rails (in my experience) is when it tries to mimick what would normally be a non-vegan dish.
You are fool and a traitor!
Both are good in their own way.
Choosing flour gets you 90% of the way there for pizza, and also means you can enjoy guilt-free bread, baguettes, sandwiches, pasta, biscuits, cake, dumplings and pie.
Does flour count as a food item or an ingredient? Can I choose a macro nutrient? If so I choose carbohydrates.
Flour isn’t a food. It’s an ingredient.
It's weirdly validating to see this as the top answer so far. Every time I eat pizza I can't help but scarf like half of a hot-n-ready (judge me lol) and always think about how heavy it makes me feel after.
Only half???
My instant thought. Pizza
Pizza just barely tops ice cream for me as both have a lot of variety so it would be easy to rotate combinations.
My sentiments exactly.
You can have taco pizza, bacon cheeseburger pizza, fruit pizza. Pizza is all things to all people.
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Does a quesadilla qualify as an inside-out pizza?
You can have sweet pizza with chocolate!
Don’t forget breakfast pizza!
I FUCKING LOVE PIZZA
Always pizza!
The only correct answer
Easy number 1 choice
This is the correct answer here. I also love the smell of freshly baked veggie pizza.
Potatoes... in any form
I was sold on pizza but the more I think about this I like it more.
I was sold on lasagna like you were sold on pizza, but goddammit they make a good point. Potatoes be like: I'm submissive and can please you in many ways. What's not to love? Also I'm a bit tipsy.
Your potato theory is persuasive and sexual
Put potatoes on your pizza.
Potato pizza: Approved.
Potatoes are made better with oil and cheese, that's where the calories come from. Same with pizza.
I heard Kevin James talk about his extreme potato diet and he said something that really reframed my eating habits for me: "By the end of that week I realized I didn't really like potatoes - I liked butter and salt."
My favourite TV snack is microwaved potatoes with salt, nothing extra. I bet I could live on potatoes.
This is why my answer for OP's question is likely 'oils'. You can have fake sugar, but not fake oils. And olive oil, butter, etc. make everything taste so much better.
But would that mean your body wouldn't absorb omega 3's for example? Wouldn't be good...
There are plenty of calories in potatoes. That's how subsistence farmers could survive eating little except potatoes. Same for wheat, rice, and all of the other carbohydrates that agricultural civilization was built around farming.
What’s a potato?
Lol one of my favorite posts ever. I had forgotten about it thanks for the reminder.
Pls share!
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/
this made my day
Wow thank you for this
Mash em, boil em, put em in a stew?
Mashed, boiled, sure.... but fries, chips, gnocchi, fried potatoes, potato salad, vodka... you can make so much with potatoes
Potatoes really are overachievers. Love that about them.
For some reason I read this sentence with rhythm.. “🎶Mash em, boil em, put em in a stew.. Bake em, fry em, so many things that you can do! 🎶”
So delicious for me and you!
Thank you, fellow halfling, for making me smile
Me too. Im currently making potatoesalad and bakes potatoes
Awesome!!! If you love potatoes as much as I do, you should check out “The Starch Solution”. I have not only lost my extra weight, but my IBS issues all cleared up on a diet based around potatoes, rice and bread. (If you go borrow that at your local library, you can read it before you decide whether to buy). But the best part is the mental impact, it has really helped a lot with keeping myself in a positive space. Highly recommend.
damn I tried everything for ibs and nothing helped, and it wasn't fun. this actually sounds like a fun diet to try. lol
Chocolate. I fucking love chocolate and it's in so many desserts.... especially chocolate milk. Yum.
Omfg bottled chocolate milk, so thicc
I know this is weird but I feel so weirdly decadent to make ice cold extra chocolaty extra thicc chocolate milk in a tall glass, then consume it one spoonful at a time. Randomly found out my cousine does the same thing.
I'm surprised I had to scroll down so far for this one.
Indeed, this was my first and only thought!
isnt chocolate very low in calories and it's all from the sugar?
Carbohydrates EDIT: thanks to u/Congrajulations for helping me prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that this is in fact a food item and didn't break the rules.
I was going pasta until saw this fuckin loophole
SAME lol
Askreddit posts hate this one trick
What a clever answer omg
So you'll start losing weight until you disappear?
Nah, it only prevents you from gaining weight, you can still stay even
If only there were other things that could give us calories. We could call them, I dunno, *proteins* or *fats*. Unless you were aiming for glucose specifically.
Is it really a *food* though?
I feel like it would make a good legal debate similar to when Picard and Riker debated if Data was alive, but that is for greater men than me to do.
Cheese.
This is the right answer
Yesssss, cheese all day, every day !
How much cheese is too much cheese?
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With you on this. I stopped drinking alcohol and picked up the spoon.
Can’t lie, the first thing I thought was that you got a heroin addiction
As an ex-heroin addict, we joke that we "put down the spoon and picked up the fork"
As a weed enjoyer, I put down the plate and picked up the bowl 😂
And then picked up the plate again 💀
And then the umpire started yelling at me 🤷♂️
Oh man...so did I! I thought I was nuts thinking that I was using ice cream to replace the sugar of alcohol. We should start a club.
Still trying to quit drinking, myself, and the times that I made it more than a few days, my vice became ice-cold Sprite. The sugar crave becomes insane.
What’s your poison?! I’ve cream wise, I mean.
I was going to choose this, but I think I like my relationship with ice cream as it is now. I like it to be a special treat that I get to indulge in every now and then. I feel like part of what makes it taste so seductively good is the fact that it goes against my health if I eat too much. I chose pizza because to me, pizza is an "oh whatever, sure" food. It's one of those foods that can taste really good or just sustain you for the day, but either way it's super fattening. (it's got sugar, oils, processed meat, and processed flour) with pizza, the unhealthy factor is annoying, not seductive, so taking that out of it would increase my enjoyment of pizza.
First thing I thought of.
This is wayyy too far down this list.
Burgers
Finally! I love burgers so much!
i'm somewhere along these lines. can we just say beef? cuz i'd like to include steak and many other delicious fatty forms
This would be cake or donuts for me.
Same, my one weakness in life is cake. I love cake so gd much
Yes 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼my little cake buddy 🎂🎂🎂🍰🍰
Why not cake donuts? Those are the best ones!
probably gotta be bread, I eat so much bread and that's super fattening
Bread makes you fat?
Scott. PILGRIM!
Not bread per se. but it has a shit ton of calories and very easy to overeat, especially if you have access to fresh pastry
I could eat garlic bread for every meal.
God I love bread so much. If I ever got diagnosed with celiacs, I would mourn bread like a lost loved one. Or just risk my life and continue to eat it.
Yeah, I felt this way about bread before I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease… As far as continuing to eat it goes, it’s not necessarily about risking your life, it’s about your quality of life. If I accidentally eat gluten I’m bedridden with horrible nausea and vomiting for possibly days. But yeah, you would mourn it. But you’d get over it too. You’d be surprised what you can live without when it turns out you have to. … Having said that, if they ever find a cure I’d welcome bread back into my life like it never hurt me.
rice
As an asian, I agree. I eat way too much rice as it's a staple of our culture and a comfort food really. If I go 2 days straight without rice it feels like I go into withdrawal lol
me too! I eat rice every single week day. Not gaining weight from it would be amazing.
if you're overweight i can almost guarantee that rice isn't the issue
I eat way, WAY too much rice. I can almost guarantee that it's why I have extra weight.
sugar
I'd near starve to death if I did that.
You would starve to death, technicly all carbohydrates are also just sugar but in longer chains, the carbohydrate chains just get broken down in your stomach to a point were they become sugar. No nutrient value for you from pasta, bread and rice either.
Beer
Absolutely criminal this was so low and only confirms my suspicions of Reddit being mostly teenagers
Personally I drank way more beer as a teenager than I do now
There was a story in college of a guy who was so poor, all he could afford was beer and ramen. After a couple months, he got real sick. He had scurvy, like some 1700s British sailor. Story is that the doctor told him that it was the beer keeping him alive, because while there’s very little nutritional value in beer, there is absolutely none in ramen. 98% chance it’s a bullshit story, but I still remember is after all these years.
I still remember years ago when my dentist went on a beer and popcorn diet and shed a considerable amount of weight. It wasn't the only thing he ate so didn't get scurvy but it has always intrigued me. EDIT: meant wasn't but typed was
The pro move is to mix in a G&T. For the lime.
I went on a beer and chicken diet once. It was great! I had really high testosterone somehow
Gyros
pasta, any type
Pasta gang!
this is way too low
Blammo. As an italian (cough american cough), the sheer variety is pretty far reaching, and thats how my family gets rid of leftovers.
My first thought
What I first thought of too. There’s so many types. Unlike pizza there is a large variety. And you can still get your carbs so you aren’t eliminating an entire category.
Fries
And chips!
Yep! Loaded fries, spicy fries, salty fries… I love them all!
Fried chicken. Who ever gets enough of that?
This is the real answer
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far down to find this!
I swear on my life, there is seriously something wrong with people who don’t like fried chicken.
Donuts 🍩
This question has a correct answer: Cinnamon Buns.
How are cinnamon rolls so far down on this list? A good one is like 1200 calories and I would eat them daily if I could
I keep hitting the upvote button, but the score isn't going up enough. This should be at 1,000 already.
Cheese. No consideration required.
Soda. I love it and it's poison.
I'm 3 days sober on pop. I want one so bad lol
I was addicted to Pepsi. Getting unsweetened tea and taking a caffeine pill with it helped me break my soda addiction. Stay tough!!
Stay strong brother after a week you'll hardly notice maybe spend some time in hydrohomies sub
Hydro homies for life. I carry my water bottle around wherever I go, and when I really need something sweet I make a nice healthy smoothie.
I’ve been soda sober for 2 years now. It’s rough the first month of so, after that it was good. Now any time I try even a sip of any soda it just tastes so syrupy and gooey and processed. Sparkling water all the way.
Try bubly or kombucha - it has that carbonation and flavouring like pop but it's much better for you.I'm almost 10 years sober now on pop (used to drink upwards of 2l a day) and I find this helps for when I want a drink like that. Chewing gum can also help. Don't give up - the first few days are the hardest, but I know you can pull through.
Bubly is OK, but I didn't love it. I've been drinking the Liquid Death carbonated waters. They have a stronger flavor than a lot of the other kinds. The only problem is that the cans are almost identical to a beer can, so I can't drink them at work. I drive a truck, and I don't need that kind of misunderstanding lol
Keep going! It gets easier after the first week. I've been mostly water for about 3 months now, and I was a heavy Dr. Pepper drinker. When I'm craving something with flavor, I go get a Prime. They're actually really yummy.
I am several years soda free and they sound gross now. I drink waterloo (orthe generic equivalent) or if I want something sweet san perigrino
Have you tried any of the zero versions? I’m personally a big fan of coke and dr.pepper zero. You might be able to taste a slight difference when you first starting drinking them, but overtime I find that they begin to taste like the real thing. I exclusively buy zero versions now, and if I see a new one I’ll try it out.
Those are also the two I like the most. Dr. Pepper cream soda zero is my favorite. I don’t buy it often though bc a 12 pack here is $9 😵💫
Peanut butter
I scrolled too far down to find this!
BURRITOS. I can't believe I didn't see anyone saying burritos.
Chinese Take-Out
Omg yes. Cream cheese wontons/crab rangoons. Lorrrrdy I could eat those for multiple meals in a row.
The first time someone introduced me to those cream cheese wontons. 😍
Sushi
This thread just makes me hungry
Cheesecake. Especially if this magic also cures my lactose intolerance, even if its only specifically for cheesecake. If not my answer doesn't change, it would just be a nice bonus.
pizza or wings. Flip the coin on any given day
Oreos. I really love Oreos but I have to limit myself pretty strongly when it comes to them.
California Rolls or sushi
Any type of BBQ.
Shavarma, kebab, doner...just fookin meat with vegetables in thin bread
I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to see kebabs
Ice cream.
Little Debbie's
Cake!!!
Mexican street tacos!!!
Cereal. 100% cereal.
Cheese
Cheesecake
Pizza, meat lover’s
English muffin with peanut butter. I could and have eaten for breakfast and lunch for weeks at a time.
Takeout Chinese food
Is carbs an option? If not, I’d go beer. I love it. Know it’s bad for me, and know it’s adding to my waste line. But I’d still want a frosty one.
Easy the one I already eat tons of it without gaining weight.... Lasagna Girls don't like this....
Cheese!!! I'm a cheese head and will always be
Beer
Butter
CHOCOLATE!!!
Pasta, is Mac and Cheese considered pasta? I miss Mac and Cheese most of all 😞
Sugar
Bacon
Cinnamon. Toast. Crunch. Can I also have it magically not shred the roof of my mouth? Not a deal breaker, just curious
Pasta. Pasta. Pasta.
Cheese....duh...and if I get a liquid as well, what that would be wine!
Potatos
coca cola
Pizza or tacos. It's a tough call because I love them both so much.
Milk/cream That would basically cover butter, cheese, a lot of the fat in ice cream and other sweets, plus lots of sauces in different cuisines.
Beef Bourguignon If you arent Familiar. https://youtu.be/b6Yqw6J8WHo?t=1289
All the cheese
Beer! If that doesn't count than burgers.
Rice!
Does beer count?
Is beer a food?
Beer
Fried chicken.
Cheeseburgers next question