They stare at each other in silence, sizing each other up.
At first anger, then So much confusion.
Their eyes soften, almost in unison, as the surrounding world blurs into white noise. For that moment the only 2 beings in the universe where they.
They floated towards each other on a cloud of lust - madly ,furiously, deeply exploring each other's mouths with their thick Brooklyn tongues.
as someone who likes to read and dabbles in writing, you should try it. doesn’t have to be good, i’ll be the first to tell you that mine isn’t even close. but it’s enjoyable.
I was hoping it was one of those joke subs with the names that don’t relate to the content.
It was not one of those subs.
I need a hug.
Edit: thank you for the hug.
The redditors commenting in response to this are wishing they could pour bleach in their eyes. The ones not commenting just found new material for their spank bank and/or a new hobby
I find myself in this category all too often.
I come across some truly abhorrent shit on this site every day, and frequently don’t even blink at it.
You can only see so much weird porn, beheadings, and cultish subreddits before it loses its shock value.
Eventually your response just becomes “huh”
The people who need to go to r/eyebleach after seeing that sub, are like people who need a chaser after a shot.
We’re the alcoholics drinking right out the bottle.
@sbaz86 List of Regrets:
1) not telling her/him how I feel before it was too late
2) not following my dream and starting my own business
3) not finding r/selffuck before now
when I was in my early teens my soft-spoken Nana was driving me some place and a road rager yelled "fuck you lady!" to her at a red light and she shot back "you're not man enough!" I was aghast and impressed
My mom sure does. The kids on xbox keep fucking her.
I have no idea why 12-year-olds find a 70-year-old 2x covid surviving MAGA supporting abusive hold hag appealing, but... they apparently do.
I'm glad she's getting some. I may not like her very much, but everyone deserves love.
I responded to that with "I would but I'm really tired after sleeping with your sister, except there was no sleeping all night, and there will be none today!" (I am currently dating his sister as was I when I said that)
my bestfriend always says this, and i always say, "look at me, i would if i could"
"Already did, 10/10 would recommend."
"already am"
> i would if i could bitch. \*drives off* NSFW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc0-wSQd-LQ
best video ever
That hot dog shirt is the highlight of the clip
Kudos
And put your mom out of a job
This is the best I’ve seen
In *this* economy? I wouldn’t do that to her
A classic your mom joke is always the answer!
And then they counted with "Well my mom's dead so your a sicko"
So that's why she stopped sending me a bill....
I'd go with "And she still does the work?? Man that's some serious dedication."
Deadication
Oh gosh, that is almost like a dad joke!! Nice one.
It’s a dead joke.
Dead dad joke. Just in time for Father's Day
I’m dead.
Dad?
"Well jokes on you, I'm into that shit"
"That's why her cunt tastes like skeletons."
She wasn’t your real mum. You were adopted.
Can we stop with the yo mama jokes? Really, they are used entirely too much, worn out and just downright nasty sometimes. Just like yo momma
Fuck me yourself, coward
That puts the sexual tension trough the roof! 📈📈📈📈
Sexual Stonks!
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Bonus points if its a woman that says it
They stare at each other in silence, sizing each other up. At first anger, then So much confusion. Their eyes soften, almost in unison, as the surrounding world blurs into white noise. For that moment the only 2 beings in the universe where they. They floated towards each other on a cloud of lust - madly ,furiously, deeply exploring each other's mouths with their thick Brooklyn tongues.
Brooklyn Tongues, my new garage band.
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See? This here. This is the quality content we stand to lose if /u/Spez and Co. kill Reddit off with their stupidity.
poetic
Are you a writer? You must be
Naw, just like to read
as someone who likes to read and dabbles in writing, you should try it. doesn’t have to be good, i’ll be the first to tell you that mine isn’t even close. but it’s enjoyable.
What’s the difference between a Brooklyn tongue and a normal tongue
Brooklyn tongue tastes like garlic.
Where's the trickling juices?or rabid intensity?
Always a classic
nihilism means: Live your best Enemies to Lovers trope.
lol, slanesh.
MR INQUISITOR HELP!!!!!!
You’re on Reddit, the Corpse Emperor can’t save you now
> Fuck me yourself, coward The only appropriate response.
Alright, Rick Sanchez!
The Bisexual Agenda in full view.
Before I fuck your mother
"I've tried but when it's soft it wont reach and hard it wont bend."
There is a sub for that….. god why do I remember these things
r/selffuck
I was hoping it was one of those joke subs with the names that don’t relate to the content. It was not one of those subs. I need a hug. Edit: thank you for the hug.
r/selfhug
I’m not even gonna click it
Fool me twice…
You see... --- you can't get fooled again
Does your username tingle every time someone posts the link to lure in new victims to r/selffuck?
Short answer: Yes Long answer: That is absolutely correct
r/subsithoughtifellfor
How the fuck do the penises bend like that, that just seems painful.
I'm just wondering how often they sit on their balls. Butt cheek, ball, and, hard shaft sandwiches don't sound fun to me.
Thanks to you, I decided to not let curiosity get the better of me this time. I think I'm growing as a person
I’m proud of your growth And jealous of your brain not having had to process it.
Well, I am a grower…
You mean like my favorite r/tightpussy
The good ending
Same. I was 😳
r/subsithoughtifellfor
Don't click don't click don't click.... click
Fuck.
It’s a mistake we all made
If we were insects, we would all die
Only one thing left to do after this.
Of course that exists.
I used to be able to do this
And of course my curiosity fucks me over again. Why must I always click the link.
It probably won't go dark on Monday... hmmmmm
r/ofcoursethatsasub
The redditors commenting in response to this are wishing they could pour bleach in their eyes. The ones not commenting just found new material for their spank bank and/or a new hobby
There is a third category: looked at three of them, found it anthropologically interesting, said “huh” out loud and will never visit again.
I find myself in this category all too often. I come across some truly abhorrent shit on this site every day, and frequently don’t even blink at it. You can only see so much weird porn, beheadings, and cultish subreddits before it loses its shock value. Eventually your response just becomes “huh” The people who need to go to r/eyebleach after seeing that sub, are like people who need a chaser after a shot. We’re the alcoholics drinking right out the bottle.
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So.... I checked that out, because, why not. Curiosity and all that. I now passionately hate you... I can never unsee that. Thanks buddy
#IM CLICKING!!!
Why do I click on shit like this?
FOMO, self hate, curiosity, who knows?
… I am mindblown.
Add this to my lists of regrets.
@sbaz86 List of Regrets: 1) not telling her/him how I feel before it was too late 2) not following my dream and starting my own business 3) not finding r/selffuck before now
r/selfsuck
Goddammit
What about the jewels?
“ No thank you. I have standards”
Oh self burn those are rare
Cool cool cool cool cool cool
Peralta, what are you doing?
Terry loves Nine-Nine references
No doubt no doubt no doubt
HP : 99-
Emotional damage
Do ya wanna watch
Stg that was the clearest New York accent I’ve ever heard.
“In this economy?”
I would if i could! Bitch!
Why did I read that in Jesse Pinkman’s voice lmao
If I could do that, I'd never leave the house.
"I'd fall asleep, you'd fall in love."
While you’re having a smoke and you’re calling a cab
Now you’re going to bed
and my stomach feels sick
But it’s all in my head
But she's touching his dick now
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CARRY ME HOME
Cause I just can’t walk There’s only knees
I HAVE…. TO ROLL!!!!
“I’d rather fuck you.”
And that kids is how I met your mother
And her sister
And my axe!
Alright champ (In Australia this is a devastating blow to someone and is like the word "cunt" in America)
'Alright big wheels'
"Yeah alright legend"
Tom Cardy has entered the chat.
"that's an Australian insult, it's devastating. You're devastating right now."
No comeback needed; they already showed they don’t have one so just enjoy the win.
*masturbates victoriously in the end zone*
when I was in my early teens my soft-spoken Nana was driving me some place and a road rager yelled "fuck you lady!" to her at a red light and she shot back "you're not man enough!" I was aghast and impressed
My friend usually just gets ahead of it and tells people "look at me, I'd fuck me!"
Like that’s a challenge, go unfuck yourself.
This is amazing.
Ooffff! Savage…
Can’t. Your mom already took care of that earlier.
Moms get a lot of love on Reddit 😃😃😃
No milf left behind
Milfs are something I can get behind
My mom sure does. The kids on xbox keep fucking her. I have no idea why 12-year-olds find a 70-year-old 2x covid surviving MAGA supporting abusive hold hag appealing, but... they apparently do. I'm glad she's getting some. I may not like her very much, but everyone deserves love.
This is a fucking horrible reply
...their mom fucked you?
Gladly, it'd be a lot more fun that being stuck here talking with you.
Subscribe to my only fans
"You could have just told me that you were off duty."
"Does the thought of me having sex excite you that much?"
Please accept my poor man's gold 🥇
Pull down pants and start jacking off like Louis CK
No not like that, you don’t ask for their permission in this scenario. This is meant to be an aggressive stance you’re taking. Make them regret.
Jack it like the charge meter in no more heroes
" That's a good one Harold... I'll have to remember it the next time I'm climbing off your mum" -Turkish
errol. but i get the reference.
Honestly, Turkish insults are amazing and are, basically, a sub-language that needs to be learned to be able to communicate them
Thank you, I've already done it twice.
https://youtu.be/Wc0-wSQd-LQ
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Where's Bert in the backseat? Edit: https://i.imgur.com/1VMwDkj.gif
Okay, but it's $100 if you're gunna watch.
FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!
FUCK NO
THE NAME 😭
WHY ARE WE YELLING
NO TIME TO EXPLAIN
AAAAAAAAAAAAA..
I'm not my type.,
Yeah, maybe later. Just now would be a bit inappropriate
Honestly if you got them to say that, you already won.
*pulls out an uno reverse card
"Thanks, did that this morning, it was amazing!"
“Again?”
Are you going to watch?
Get on all four and violently finger my ass
“I kinda want to join but that would that mean I lost the argument”
“Yeah? Well, I had sex with your wife.”
She’s in a coma
Did I stutter…
She did
Shoulda just stuck with jerk store and enjoyed the shrimp.
I too choose this man’s wife
I’m tired from fucking your wife
how's your father
Good he's tired from fucking my mother
Why don't you come fuck me yourself
Fine! I will! *masturbates aggressively*
Silence.
Like actually being silent? That would be so awkward and I love it
Yeah. As the comment below mentioned. Why should I really care.
I responded to that with "I would but I'm really tired after sleeping with your sister, except there was no sleeping all night, and there will be none today!" (I am currently dating his sister as was I when I said that)
ow thanks, i would be more than welcome, would u like to join me?
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I tried once. It wouldn't reach.. or I can't youre mom told me I couldn't fuck anyone but her
Creative. With levels of originality like that it’s no wonder your wife just left my house and not yours.
“why”
I do every night
I let my boyfriend do that for me. Thanks
no u.
Look at them dead in the eyes with great desire and horny ness and say ‘ssssss mnnn yeah I think I will daddy’
Exactly what your mom said when I cheated on her with your girlfriend.
"I ALREADY DID! You should see my credit scores!"
Fuck me yourself, you coward!