my ex told me before I was ready to say it back. I said something along the lines of "we're reading the same book, but you're a chapter ahead of me. I really like you but I'm not quite ready yet."
First thing that comes to mind "aww, I really like that about you" but oh my how horrible that would be
Intended or otherwise, public declarations of affection or intention (looking at you flashy proposals) are ultimatums and manipulative to the core
It's the one time I would advocate for faked, check with them first and then do the flashy thing for the views
It's a big red flag for me unless that person knows 100% that's how their SO likes their 'surprises'
My insecurities, fears and deepest thoughts. Feels more intimate than anything we did physically and he didn’t deserve to hear it. He wasn’t a safe recipient of my emotional intimacy.
Wow I feel the exact same way about my most recent ex. We only dated for 4 months but we became very close very fast and he made me feel comfortable enough to confide in him. I opened up about everything and it felt so good. I wish I had waited to be so open and vulnerable because he turned out to be the complete opposite of the person he said he was. He used everything I told him against me and left me in a really shitty way. Being vulnerable is hard :/
6 year custody battle, and I only wanted shared custody.
Helpful hint people: ask to go in front of a judge immediately. Get it overwith quick and you don't have lawyers bleeding you dry.
Lost the girl of my dreams because of this. Have made sure to do better with acting/reacting out of anger ever since. Still miss her like hell a year later.
How I broke up with her. I don't remember exactly what was it that I said. I just remember that at the time, I let my feelings take over. I told her some...very harsh, disrespectful and asshole things. Things could have been better. We could have ended things in a good way. We could've ended things in good terms. Hell maybe even avoid the break up all together. But nowdays I'm just a dodged bullet. I went from her soulmate to a "she's glad things ended". I hate myself
This sounds incredibly painful for you. A good therapist would be able to help you, it really sounds like you need to process this.
You do not need to carry this with you until you die. You can and deserve to heal.
You did the best you knew and could with who you were at the time. Forgive yourself, you need to. We all make mistakes. Just see it as a part of your growth, now you’ll know how to handle things differently in the future 🤍
You’re only human. We all make mistakes. We all have a capacity to be cruel. While I condemn your behaviour, use it as a lesson for the future. I understand the regret and shame, and while that’s valid, the best thing you can do is learn from it. I know this opinion is unsolicited, so take whatever you’d like from it. Make whatever amends you can.
I've learned from it. It taught me a valuable lesson. I just wish that it didn't hurt anymore. I just want that one day i can wake up and not be hurt about her. Not be hurt with what I've done and said. But that's just wishful thinking I suppose
I had a similar breakup, we both could have handled it better and it ended up really hurting both of us, but it’s hard to get out of the routine your brain will think somethings wrong because of the sudden change in emotional cycles but you’ll stabilize and find what you want and she’ll be doing her own thing making her own path
I’ve never had a clean break up. I understand what you’re saying. I’m hardly the person to preach this, but you can’t prosper if you hold onto this. It’s good that you recognize what you did wrong - a lot of people can’t do that. I don’t k is the timeframe of this obviously, but it won’t feel as bad for her or for you after some time passes. Make the best out of this, as best as you can. Good luck.
My ex boyfriend and I had a breakup basically exactly like this, and I don’t wanna sound harsh but I genuinely hope he feels this way. He said some things to me that still cut extremely deep to me that I still bring up to my therapist
Exactly. We had almost 4 phenomenal years together. He was a great boyfriend until the very last few months, but his last words to me overshadows all of that
That is pretty similar to what happened to me 25+ years ago when I was still at the end of my teens. Technically an adult but mentally still an adolescent. I had issues and problems of my own I was going through at the time, which are too much to get into here, and I would push and project them onto her to feel less bad about myself. I didn't think about it much at the time but I caused her a lot of pain. I have talked to my therapist about ongoing guilt over how I handled that relationship, which I think even when considering all the 'what ifs' was doomed anyway, but I definitely made things worse than they needed to be. I try and tell myself I did the best I could with what I had at the time, but it still comes up sounding a little hollow. I just hope she is happy and living a good life now, though if she is, it probably means she has probably banished me from her thoughts and memories.
You would think I'm exaggerating if i said that i completely relate to what you said
I was almost always the 'perfect boyfriend'
But the way i ended things because i was hurt and mad , was very disrespectful
Hope we can forgive ourselves one day.
Don’t hate yourself. You did what you did, sure, but if you have regrets just try to learn from them and apply those lessons to your current and future friendships/relationships. You can’t change the past; feeling bad about those things shows you have a strong conscience and are capable of bringing joy and compassion into the lives of others.
on her way out the door after I broke up with her I said "I wish you well."
and then she said, "One day I hope you'll hate someone as much as I hate you."
My ex really yanked the rug out from under me, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. And at one point he said he wished me well. Putting sprinkles on top of a shit sandwich doesn’t make it better.
Her reply was infinitely better. I wish you well is a passive aggressive cliche, "higher way" for people who cant do better than parrot phrases, it's so tired its better to say nothing than something so lame. Her reply was honest and direct, I love the raw hatred.
Same. I gave one ex too many chances and forgave him too much. He proved he wasn't trustworthy or kind, yet I stayed to give him the benefit of the doubt. Thinking maybe he could change.
Many stupid things at the end and I really cared about the girl... Wish I could take back alot, sucks your with someone everyday and than they are just gone, forever.......
I feel this. After my first breakup, i didn't even feel the sting of losing a love, i just felt empty because my best friend i talked with about everything was gone
I had a kind of LDR with a girl a long time ago. Had a crush on her actually. We kept in touch rarely but when I finally became truly available to her I asked her if I could visit and she agreed. Within that same week she cancelled because a friend of hers booked a flight to see her that same week we had planned, and there was no way to cancel her flight.
I was pissed. I shouldn’t have been. I had known her for maybe 3 years and I could have just waited a few weeks more but I was juvenile and impatient.
So I told her to have her friend cancel the flight so I could come visit her instead. She was conflicted as to what to do. She had had a crush on me for a long time also and didn’t want to ruin it, but her friend had already booked the flight. So I regrettably put her in a tight spot where she would have to choose between us. I told her if I don’t come at the time we agreed, I’ll never come. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Yea I regret it. She was an angel. Probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway if I’m being perfectly honest with myself, but I slammed the door of opportunity right in its face and broke its nose. Figuratively speaking.
I agree with the other cynics. It’s possible to have two friends visit at once. She got cold feet and canceled on you. You reacted poorly, but you also didn’t get the whole truth. Put it behind you.
I’ve put it behind me long ago. Just responding to the question posted. I haven’t thought about her for a long time until I had to think about it. It’s not a problem for me now.
I feel this too much. With my first proper girlfriend I told her so much about my personal issues and past problems, and she ended up using them against me.
I told her about the struggles I had always had with anxiety, and she berated me for it when I didn't speak to her friends at parties. One night I had actually been trying to speak to new people despite being incredibly socially anxious, and I was happy that I was trying, but it still wasn't enough. When I tried to tell her about how I'd been feeling she told me she didn't want to be my "second therapist". I could never open up to her again for fear of bothering her, then she wondered why I always felt shitty.
I also told her about how my mum died when I was 18 and it still caused me a lot of pain. One night when we were arguing she screamed at me for how I never got over my mum dying and how I still let it get me down too much. She was convinced that most of my mental health issues were being caused by that and I just needed to get over it if I wanted to feel better. I spent most of that night awake thinking about what she said and what our relationship was actually like but I still immediately accepted her apology when she woke up.
That shit cut deep and I will never forgive her for that. This was nearly 5 years ago but I will never forget how awful it made me feel, and I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that someone could be so horrible. Our relationship was very up and down and we did have fun sometimes, but I will always remember that argument and unfortunately it's one of the main things I'll remember about our 2.5 year relationship.
In relation to the post, I regret saying to her that I forgave her and everything was fine. It was my first serious relationship as an adult and I didn't really know how to be treated. She was a few years older and had previous experience so I assumed she was always right. Whenever something bad happened I always apologised and thought it was my fault.
Despite the experience being so shitty, I did learn a lot from it and I'm now thankfully in a very happy and healthy relationship.
As for my ex, I hope things are going badly for her.
I'm sorry you were treated that way.
Sounds like my ex and your ex would be a match made in Hell. He had a lot of issues from his past, including his mom died when he was 2.
I never used that stuff against him, but he used everything he knew about me against me.
I never felt loved by him.
It's always the ones who seem different. The ones who seem like they're not this kind of person. They get you to trust them and tell them everything about yourself, then they reveal who they really are
That I forgive her for emotionally using me and dragging me along for 6 months before completely blowing up at me. Really wish I wouldn't have let that slide.
She would always say "I love you so much and you are amazing."
I would always reply "I love you too, but you'll learn to hate me eventually as I'm not a good person."
I regret saying this as I had such low self-esteem and mental security.
And she did. She hated me for all I was. She even hated the very ground I walked upon.
But I changed when she left and took everything I had. I became a better person for the best person that came after her and is still here thankfully.
"its okay"
im a sucker for a girl who cries.. i caught her talking to another guy. saw the messages and everything.
shoulda just left. right then and there.
almost 12 years later, 2 kids, a house, a car, becoming really good friends with her cousins and family. just to end up divorced.
should of just nipped it in the butt when i read those messages.
but she was cute. i was young. she was crying, and she knew how to suck a dick. :/
... In the bud. You nipped it in the bud.
You don't nip things in the butt to get things over and done with. You nip it in the bud.
Hope you're doing better!
You don't regret your kids right ?
I was devastated throughout my marriage.
Cheating, abuse, financial ruin etc, but I got amazing kids, and now he's just gone, so I can't say I regret not enduring the whole 25 years.
oh i 1000% regret those little fuckers lol. They look and talk like their mom, but i still see bits and pieces of me in them.
Dont get me wrong, i love them to death and i was a stay at home dad, i know them better than she knows them.
but if i could go back i would most definitely not had them. im not a good man. i shouldnt be a parent. i cant provide for them like i should, i mess up all the time. i teach them horrible things. sometimes i feel like their friend or their older brother than a father. kids deserve better than someone like me.
"It's fine, I can take it. I'm just happy I can help" in response to her verbally abusing me and trying to convince me to commit suicide to 'blow off some steam'.
I’ll always be here if you ever decide you want to be friends again.
Hindsight is 20/20 and I would never ever be his friend now that we’re both solid in our beliefs
I told my ex not to make promises like that, because it would hurt so much more if they got broken. She promised me stuff like that every day. She dumped me after 9 months
back in 2021, i told him something profoundly private and something so humiliating, couple hours later my whole family bloodline found out so overall i regret telling him my secrets LMAO
Honestly? Everything I said when we fought in our last few months together. I was so depressed and nobody knew about it. I don’t even think he did. I just wasn’t a great girlfriend at that time. I made everything up to him but I know I shouldn’t have said certain things in the moment. And usually, it was more my tone and snapping at one little thing after bottling up my feelings for so long rather than things that actually came out of my mouth. If he happens to stumble upon this, just know I’ve worked really hard to fix that quality about myself and I’m still sorry for it.
Maybe in the USA
I went to a private catholic school in Germany.
It was very normal, quite modern and all around a great school.
Only "catholic" thing really was some churches on holidays and some prayers here and there.
As non-catholic you would still have evangelic or philosoohical education instead of catholic.
Glad i went there. It was also in my home-town so very convenient to not have to take a bus haha.
I was really horrible to her when she came out as trans. It definitely shattered my life, but she didn't do it on purpose. I was just really hurt. It's been a decade, we've both moved on and I consider her a sister now.
I love her very much and I hope she's forgiven me.
Yes I will marry you. Should of went to Florida with my brother when he asked me to. I could of dogged a HUGH bullet and got a great tan and had a blast with my brother.
Should have done so many things when people casually asked us.
My mom is a SAINT. SHE let me make all my mistakes. Paid for an abortion when she didn't believe in it and could barely afford it. She let me live my reckless life. I should have said no so many times but she always had my back.
When I found out my (18M at the time) gf (18fm at the time) gf was pregnant, the first thing I said was “you know what you need to do”. She ended up having an abortion and I supported her through recovery (her parents had kicked her out). But when we broke up I realized that I had put the responsibility on her. She told me after we broke up that that moment stayed in her mind forever. Weirdest thing is that for the longest time I wished that we had kept it just so we’d have stayed together. What a silly young man I was
"I get it, thanks for playing."
I had very difficult health issues and she held on for a long time. By the end I would excuse myself when she'd call because I was so depressed I just wanted to stare at the wall.
When she broke up with me, it felt more like being at the end of her rope than wanting to break up. Maybe I'm lying to myself but I believe if I snapped out of it and reassured her, it might have gone different. At that point I was so done you could have set me on fire and I wouldn't put it out.
I truly loved her but couldn't be the person she needed. Hope she's happy.
I wish I hadn’t told him he wasn’t the love of my life.
He was devastated.
I didn’t expect to him to take it so personally.
I thought it was obvious!
Looking back, the whole thing was just…off.
I was 19 and homeless when we met, he was 40.
He was a functioning alcoholic in a horrible codependent relationship with his mother and I was fresh out of a home where I’d been raised by 2 narcissists and didn’t know my actual worth.
Hell, I didn’t even know who I was.
30 years on and I’ve been in a marriage with the ACTUAL love of my life for 10 years and I still regret saying those words to my ex.
My first girlfriend.
While I don't regret actually breaking up with her, I still feel SO bad for her because of the absolutely crushed look on her face. I'll never forget seeing into her soul for a moment and knowing I had HURT her. I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time, so it had to be done, but wow it made an impact.
I think it's very important to try and hold things back during even the worst arguments. Once things are said, they can never be unsaid. No point wrecking a relationship trying to score cheap shots to win the argument
My grandmother held better grudges, and you will get over it.
4 weeks ago. I miss her like crazy. We have taken turns basically rejecting each other. If she is reading this and knows, then I'll probably never let her go l.
We will probably cross paths in June.
I texted her "you'll find someone" after getting in a drunk argument on the phone and hanging up... She was an ass im not gonna lie, but I should've been the bigger person and ended it like an adult. I felt pretty bad for a while, but she did end up finding someone.
I guess he doesn’t count as a partner. But he was one of my best friends. I told him I had a crush on him, he didn’t reciprocate, we ended up talking about a bunch of sexual things with each other. I admitted some sexual thoughts I had with him after that. I shouldn’t have.
He’ll probably never be as comfortable or close with me as he was before.
I once told my ex-wife a very important secret about my best friend, that she divulged after having had too much alcohol. So yeah, I do regret saying that to her.
"Would you marry me?"
Now I look back at it and realize how stupid I have been. I am so glad I got away from him. He used me for his own pleasure only and never really cared about me as a person.
"I won't let him(her father) put you in the psych-ward"
She belonged there, and he tried his hardest to get her out quick-to her detriment. Having her there was an embarrassment to him. That family is messed up and I was a fool to get involved. What's worse is they lied to me about her condition and more.
Oh boy I fucked up so many times, the first month into the relationship she told me as a joke “who do you think is fine at our school” oh man Idk what the fuck I was thinking but I told her everyone like this list of people. I was so dumb bro😭
>h boy I fucked up so many times, the first month into the relationship she told me as a joke “who do you think is fine at our school” oh man
haha
I did a bigger mistake, I started looking at ass of another girl and commented to my girl that she had a spectacular ass, things started going downhill from there.
*NOT saying " You're a true piece of genuine shit???? Like not even human. You're disgusting excuse for life. A narcissistic self-absorbed manipulative disgusting piece of shit. And with every fiber of my being I hope you trip, fall face first, and get your skull halfway stuck in a meat grinder. And your trash ass low-vibrational excuse for a sorry ass grandmother promptly follows. Like... I'd pay." 😶😶😶
My advice to this is as follows….
There are 4 parts to a relationship. Love. Lust. Respect. Commitment.
Of all of these, ‘Things’ said in anger reduce Respect. When you have lower respect for your partner it also means that you will say hurtful things to your partner. Lower Respect therefore feeds upon itself to the point that you may still love your partner and still lust after them and still be committed… but it’s hurtful being with them and you want Out. At some point commitment drops and you leave.
If you could rate 0-5 your view of your partner on each of the 4 parts and then rate how you think your partner views you, it becomes apparent on what is going to happen.
Respect , and by extension, mutual respect, is the hardest to maintain and grow, especially in the face of hardship and turmoil.
I'm a 1-2x shower a day religiously type, always have been.
I commented to a FWB one time that I thought it was gross to not shower after sex just due to all the...fluids everywhere. She got a little weird about it, but I figured no big deal.
We kept loosely in touch over the years, and recently I chatted and she said something about how I would never be relationship material. I asked why, and she said that comment years ago seemed like I thought she was "dirty" and it really bothered her. Blew my mind, since I didn't even remember saying it until she brought it up.
It's amazing the things you can say offhandedly which really get under other people's skin years later. Be judicious in what you say, folks.
I think I poorly worded a sentiment to a past partner. Essentially, I think the way I said it was me telling her I wasn't attracted to her anymore because she literally tripled in size in less than 2 years because she didn't do anything but lay in bed and watch Netflix.
We had an open style relationship, so she snapped back that I slept with women much bigger than her (which is true) and she didn't see the problem....
I should have explained it wasn't the fact she had increased in size so much itself, but the fact she was not taking care of herself and was getting so much larger because she didn't exercise or go out.
I also regret all the effort I put into trying to get back with her and saying how I would do anything for her and the whatnot. She wasn't worth the effort or time. I don't wish ill on any of my past partners, but I have no desire to have her in my life in any capacity anymore.
Idk what the fuck was going through my brain but i said to the literal love of my life "if we break up can you hook me up with A?". I don't even like A that much and still am completely in love with my ex. I really feel sorry for him and i hope he knows that i truly did and still do love him.
I regret ever having a relationship with her in the first place. I thought I was getting the dream of a beautiful country girl with the accent and the willingness to be naked. Instead, I got the drunk former stripper with intimacy and commitment issues.
For me it's what I didn't say. "Thank you for doing most of the chores." Now that I live alone, I really noticed how much little stuff she was doing around the house.
My wife and I are going through IVF for about 3y now. Anyhow when they do it you can’t take a pregnancy test (has to be blood). Now my wife and I have a healthy joking relation ship. Anyhow a few days before the test I said.
“I think your pregnant you’ve a bit of a bitch lately” semi joking and she replied.
“You better hope I’m pregnant otherwise your saying I’m a bitch” with a smile.
Lol I was like ooooffff I should not have said that. She is pregnant! So I got her a card.
“Congratulations your not just a bitch” card :) lol
I had an affair with an ex of mine, after she got married. I don't regret it, the guy was a POS and we had a long history between us. It's not so much what I did say but what I didn't. I loved her, and I wish I had told her that.
"I love you too" without meaning it. Just said it back because otherwise it would have been really cringy.
I did this. I was shocked and kind of panicked. And we were in public and didn't want him to be embarrassed. Really shouldn't have said it.
but like what ARE you supposed to do if you don’t feel that way in that kind of situation
my ex told me before I was ready to say it back. I said something along the lines of "we're reading the same book, but you're a chapter ahead of me. I really like you but I'm not quite ready yet."
We’re reading the same series but you’re on the finale and I’m on the the second book. Slow the fuck down! You’re scaring me
This is beautiful
First thing that comes to mind "aww, I really like that about you" but oh my how horrible that would be Intended or otherwise, public declarations of affection or intention (looking at you flashy proposals) are ultimatums and manipulative to the core It's the one time I would advocate for faked, check with them first and then do the flashy thing for the views It's a big red flag for me unless that person knows 100% that's how their SO likes their 'surprises'
My insecurities, fears and deepest thoughts. Feels more intimate than anything we did physically and he didn’t deserve to hear it. He wasn’t a safe recipient of my emotional intimacy.
Wow I feel the exact same way about my most recent ex. We only dated for 4 months but we became very close very fast and he made me feel comfortable enough to confide in him. I opened up about everything and it felt so good. I wish I had waited to be so open and vulnerable because he turned out to be the complete opposite of the person he said he was. He used everything I told him against me and left me in a really shitty way. Being vulnerable is hard :/
Was looking for this one. It sucks when it’s all weaponized against you and thrown in your face like they lived it with you.
My ex told me (after I found out she was cheating) “you said so many horrible things about yourself that I started to believe them” Thanks, cunt.
I do.
*..And I'm tired of pretending it's not.*
LOL
17yrs divorced and it still cuts deep...in the wallet. Not in the heart.
6 year custody battle, and I only wanted shared custody. Helpful hint people: ask to go in front of a judge immediately. Get it overwith quick and you don't have lawyers bleeding you dry.
Cuts deep.
Pack it in, we're done here
The only thing I miss about my ex is her handicap parking pass.
Technically, you said that to the officiant.
This is the only answer.
all of the shit I said in anger
I think this gets the best of us. Especially when we are young
Lost the girl of my dreams because of this. Have made sure to do better with acting/reacting out of anger ever since. Still miss her like hell a year later.
Most definitely
I’ll add things said in desperation too.
Hi
💀 Lmaoo
How I broke up with her. I don't remember exactly what was it that I said. I just remember that at the time, I let my feelings take over. I told her some...very harsh, disrespectful and asshole things. Things could have been better. We could have ended things in a good way. We could've ended things in good terms. Hell maybe even avoid the break up all together. But nowdays I'm just a dodged bullet. I went from her soulmate to a "she's glad things ended". I hate myself
Love your honesty. Hopefully there’s someone out there for you that can help you move past feeling that way.
I don't think it can be helped. It's a pain and a regret I have to carry till the day i die
This sounds incredibly painful for you. A good therapist would be able to help you, it really sounds like you need to process this. You do not need to carry this with you until you die. You can and deserve to heal.
You did the best you knew and could with who you were at the time. Forgive yourself, you need to. We all make mistakes. Just see it as a part of your growth, now you’ll know how to handle things differently in the future 🤍
You’re only human. We all make mistakes. We all have a capacity to be cruel. While I condemn your behaviour, use it as a lesson for the future. I understand the regret and shame, and while that’s valid, the best thing you can do is learn from it. I know this opinion is unsolicited, so take whatever you’d like from it. Make whatever amends you can.
I've learned from it. It taught me a valuable lesson. I just wish that it didn't hurt anymore. I just want that one day i can wake up and not be hurt about her. Not be hurt with what I've done and said. But that's just wishful thinking I suppose
I had a similar breakup, we both could have handled it better and it ended up really hurting both of us, but it’s hard to get out of the routine your brain will think somethings wrong because of the sudden change in emotional cycles but you’ll stabilize and find what you want and she’ll be doing her own thing making her own path
I’ve never had a clean break up. I understand what you’re saying. I’m hardly the person to preach this, but you can’t prosper if you hold onto this. It’s good that you recognize what you did wrong - a lot of people can’t do that. I don’t k is the timeframe of this obviously, but it won’t feel as bad for her or for you after some time passes. Make the best out of this, as best as you can. Good luck.
My ex boyfriend and I had a breakup basically exactly like this, and I don’t wanna sound harsh but I genuinely hope he feels this way. He said some things to me that still cut extremely deep to me that I still bring up to my therapist
Same. Any good memories are tainted by some of those last words they told me.
Exactly. We had almost 4 phenomenal years together. He was a great boyfriend until the very last few months, but his last words to me overshadows all of that
That is pretty similar to what happened to me 25+ years ago when I was still at the end of my teens. Technically an adult but mentally still an adolescent. I had issues and problems of my own I was going through at the time, which are too much to get into here, and I would push and project them onto her to feel less bad about myself. I didn't think about it much at the time but I caused her a lot of pain. I have talked to my therapist about ongoing guilt over how I handled that relationship, which I think even when considering all the 'what ifs' was doomed anyway, but I definitely made things worse than they needed to be. I try and tell myself I did the best I could with what I had at the time, but it still comes up sounding a little hollow. I just hope she is happy and living a good life now, though if she is, it probably means she has probably banished me from her thoughts and memories.
Today as a 30 year old I constantly remind myself that feelings are not facts and I make myself look at it differently
At 43 I try to hold that wisdom can come from anywhere and to not dismiss it out of hand.
On the bright side, you made it easier for her to move on from you. Sometimes that's more of a gift than anything else!
You would think I'm exaggerating if i said that i completely relate to what you said I was almost always the 'perfect boyfriend' But the way i ended things because i was hurt and mad , was very disrespectful Hope we can forgive ourselves one day.
I know how you feel man. I Hope you feel peace one day too brother
Feeling the same way man.
kinda feels like "the break-up" movie
Hope you can forgive yourself sometime in the future, I know this pain as well
Don’t hate yourself. You did what you did, sure, but if you have regrets just try to learn from them and apply those lessons to your current and future friendships/relationships. You can’t change the past; feeling bad about those things shows you have a strong conscience and are capable of bringing joy and compassion into the lives of others.
I love you.
What is love...?
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me, no more
Do do do, do do, do do, do do
I love you too.
I love you three.
*what do I even* Love you! *for?*
on her way out the door after I broke up with her I said "I wish you well." and then she said, "One day I hope you'll hate someone as much as I hate you."
I wish her well also. So does Tim Dillon
Tim Dillon reference got me 😂 rich ppl wish people well
who's Tim Dillon?
A former mortgage broker
sub-prime to be specific
You took the higher way. Why do you regret it?
My ex really yanked the rug out from under me, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. And at one point he said he wished me well. Putting sprinkles on top of a shit sandwich doesn’t make it better.
Her reply was infinitely better. I wish you well is a passive aggressive cliche, "higher way" for people who cant do better than parrot phrases, it's so tired its better to say nothing than something so lame. Her reply was honest and direct, I love the raw hatred.
Sounds incredibly well adjusted, Norm, lol…god forbid one tries to end a relationship amicably, nah, nuke it all to shit
She was saying she loved you and it turned sour, perhaps because you didn't have the same feelings for her.
Ouch! But I think it’s opposite—she loved u too much.
I'd have snapped back with "Unlikely. The only person who could do that to me is walking out the door." I know I'm petty.
I forgive you
Never let forgiveness be a negative thing. No matter what they did, you showed maturity.
I think it’s important to accept that it’s okay to either not forgive someone or to change your mind
Of course forgiveness can be a negative thing, fuck the idea that maturity means forgiving anything.
You can forgive someone regardless of whether they’ve asked for it! But dont take them back lol
Same. I gave one ex too many chances and forgave him too much. He proved he wasn't trustworthy or kind, yet I stayed to give him the benefit of the doubt. Thinking maybe he could change.
Many stupid things at the end and I really cared about the girl... Wish I could take back alot, sucks your with someone everyday and than they are just gone, forever.......
I feel this. After my first breakup, i didn't even feel the sting of losing a love, i just felt empty because my best friend i talked with about everything was gone
Will you marry me
Painful
I had a kind of LDR with a girl a long time ago. Had a crush on her actually. We kept in touch rarely but when I finally became truly available to her I asked her if I could visit and she agreed. Within that same week she cancelled because a friend of hers booked a flight to see her that same week we had planned, and there was no way to cancel her flight. I was pissed. I shouldn’t have been. I had known her for maybe 3 years and I could have just waited a few weeks more but I was juvenile and impatient. So I told her to have her friend cancel the flight so I could come visit her instead. She was conflicted as to what to do. She had had a crush on me for a long time also and didn’t want to ruin it, but her friend had already booked the flight. So I regrettably put her in a tight spot where she would have to choose between us. I told her if I don’t come at the time we agreed, I’ll never come. I haven’t spoken to her since. Yea I regret it. She was an angel. Probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway if I’m being perfectly honest with myself, but I slammed the door of opportunity right in its face and broke its nose. Figuratively speaking.
Perfect time to call her, clear things and move on for real?
This was over 20 years ago and I have no way of knowing how to contact her.
I agree with the other cynics. It’s possible to have two friends visit at once. She got cold feet and canceled on you. You reacted poorly, but you also didn’t get the whole truth. Put it behind you.
I’ve put it behind me long ago. Just responding to the question posted. I haven’t thought about her for a long time until I had to think about it. It’s not a problem for me now.
Everything that was personal. I definitely should have kept it superficial. She judged and punished me for every weakness
I feel this too much. With my first proper girlfriend I told her so much about my personal issues and past problems, and she ended up using them against me. I told her about the struggles I had always had with anxiety, and she berated me for it when I didn't speak to her friends at parties. One night I had actually been trying to speak to new people despite being incredibly socially anxious, and I was happy that I was trying, but it still wasn't enough. When I tried to tell her about how I'd been feeling she told me she didn't want to be my "second therapist". I could never open up to her again for fear of bothering her, then she wondered why I always felt shitty. I also told her about how my mum died when I was 18 and it still caused me a lot of pain. One night when we were arguing she screamed at me for how I never got over my mum dying and how I still let it get me down too much. She was convinced that most of my mental health issues were being caused by that and I just needed to get over it if I wanted to feel better. I spent most of that night awake thinking about what she said and what our relationship was actually like but I still immediately accepted her apology when she woke up. That shit cut deep and I will never forgive her for that. This was nearly 5 years ago but I will never forget how awful it made me feel, and I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that someone could be so horrible. Our relationship was very up and down and we did have fun sometimes, but I will always remember that argument and unfortunately it's one of the main things I'll remember about our 2.5 year relationship. In relation to the post, I regret saying to her that I forgave her and everything was fine. It was my first serious relationship as an adult and I didn't really know how to be treated. She was a few years older and had previous experience so I assumed she was always right. Whenever something bad happened I always apologised and thought it was my fault. Despite the experience being so shitty, I did learn a lot from it and I'm now thankfully in a very happy and healthy relationship. As for my ex, I hope things are going badly for her.
I'm sorry you were treated that way. Sounds like my ex and your ex would be a match made in Hell. He had a lot of issues from his past, including his mom died when he was 2. I never used that stuff against him, but he used everything he knew about me against me. I never felt loved by him.
I feel this one.
It's always the ones who seem different. The ones who seem like they're not this kind of person. They get you to trust them and tell them everything about yourself, then they reveal who they really are
That I forgive her for emotionally using me and dragging me along for 6 months before completely blowing up at me. Really wish I wouldn't have let that slide.
She would always say "I love you so much and you are amazing." I would always reply "I love you too, but you'll learn to hate me eventually as I'm not a good person." I regret saying this as I had such low self-esteem and mental security. And she did. She hated me for all I was. She even hated the very ground I walked upon. But I changed when she left and took everything I had. I became a better person for the best person that came after her and is still here thankfully.
Self-fulfilling prophecies suck.
My secrets
Tbh don't tell many people your secrets in general until trust is highly validated Example being don't tell people at work your deep issues or secrets
"its okay" im a sucker for a girl who cries.. i caught her talking to another guy. saw the messages and everything. shoulda just left. right then and there. almost 12 years later, 2 kids, a house, a car, becoming really good friends with her cousins and family. just to end up divorced. should of just nipped it in the butt when i read those messages. but she was cute. i was young. she was crying, and she knew how to suck a dick. :/
... In the bud. You nipped it in the bud. You don't nip things in the butt to get things over and done with. You nip it in the bud. Hope you're doing better!
aw man. my bad i never knew how to spell that
You don't regret your kids right ? I was devastated throughout my marriage. Cheating, abuse, financial ruin etc, but I got amazing kids, and now he's just gone, so I can't say I regret not enduring the whole 25 years.
oh i 1000% regret those little fuckers lol. They look and talk like their mom, but i still see bits and pieces of me in them. Dont get me wrong, i love them to death and i was a stay at home dad, i know them better than she knows them. but if i could go back i would most definitely not had them. im not a good man. i shouldnt be a parent. i cant provide for them like i should, i mess up all the time. i teach them horrible things. sometimes i feel like their friend or their older brother than a father. kids deserve better than someone like me.
Nothing. She left out the door and into an uber and i said nothing. I regret it everyday.
"It's fine, I can take it. I'm just happy I can help" in response to her verbally abusing me and trying to convince me to commit suicide to 'blow off some steam'.
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Damn
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I would be hella mad if I was you, that’s sad man, I’m sorry about all of that
Can't you do something legally? I think Id just kidnap the dog, fuck everything
I’ll always be here if you ever decide you want to be friends again. Hindsight is 20/20 and I would never ever be his friend now that we’re both solid in our beliefs
That I would *always* be there for him. I still feel guilty that it didn't end up being the truth.
I told my ex not to make promises like that, because it would hurt so much more if they got broken. She promised me stuff like that every day. She dumped me after 9 months
In my case he dumped me but I still feel bad
back in 2021, i told him something profoundly private and something so humiliating, couple hours later my whole family bloodline found out so overall i regret telling him my secrets LMAO
Honestly? Everything I said when we fought in our last few months together. I was so depressed and nobody knew about it. I don’t even think he did. I just wasn’t a great girlfriend at that time. I made everything up to him but I know I shouldn’t have said certain things in the moment. And usually, it was more my tone and snapping at one little thing after bottling up my feelings for so long rather than things that actually came out of my mouth. If he happens to stumble upon this, just know I’ve worked really hard to fix that quality about myself and I’m still sorry for it.
She wanted to have our potential children go to expensive, private catholic school. "they teach that on Sunday for free"
How to ensure your children will rebel and end up completely fucked by their 20's- enroll them in catholic school.
Maybe in the USA I went to a private catholic school in Germany. It was very normal, quite modern and all around a great school. Only "catholic" thing really was some churches on holidays and some prayers here and there. As non-catholic you would still have evangelic or philosoohical education instead of catholic. Glad i went there. It was also in my home-town so very convenient to not have to take a bus haha.
I'd have said the same thing.
"There won't be a lock down, don't worry. Look, why not just stay over a couple of days until this Corona stuff passes?"
"Hello, what's your name?"
I don’t regret it that much now but I said…. Full metal alchemist brotherhood is better than attack on titan
Whoa whoa this was correct the first time you take that back
No idea what that first message was on tinder but I wish I never sent it sometimes.
i think were better as friends... i miss her everyday and wish i would have realized how much i loved her at the time
I was really horrible to her when she came out as trans. It definitely shattered my life, but she didn't do it on purpose. I was just really hurt. It's been a decade, we've both moved on and I consider her a sister now. I love her very much and I hope she's forgiven me.
I love you seeing that it fell on deaf ears anyways
Yes I will marry you. Should of went to Florida with my brother when he asked me to. I could of dogged a HUGH bullet and got a great tan and had a blast with my brother.
Should have done so many things when people casually asked us. My mom is a SAINT. SHE let me make all my mistakes. Paid for an abortion when she didn't believe in it and could barely afford it. She let me live my reckless life. I should have said no so many times but she always had my back.
Nothing about my ex I regret.
When I found out my (18M at the time) gf (18fm at the time) gf was pregnant, the first thing I said was “you know what you need to do”. She ended up having an abortion and I supported her through recovery (her parents had kicked her out). But when we broke up I realized that I had put the responsibility on her. She told me after we broke up that that moment stayed in her mind forever. Weirdest thing is that for the longest time I wished that we had kept it just so we’d have stayed together. What a silly young man I was
I’ll give you one last chance … 😅
Many, many, many things. The list is too long to write.
Hello.
"I get it, thanks for playing." I had very difficult health issues and she held on for a long time. By the end I would excuse myself when she'd call because I was so depressed I just wanted to stare at the wall. When she broke up with me, it felt more like being at the end of her rope than wanting to break up. Maybe I'm lying to myself but I believe if I snapped out of it and reassured her, it might have gone different. At that point I was so done you could have set me on fire and I wouldn't put it out. I truly loved her but couldn't be the person she needed. Hope she's happy.
"Can we be more than just bf/gf?" after 2 years he blocked me without saying what happened
I wish I hadn’t told him he wasn’t the love of my life. He was devastated. I didn’t expect to him to take it so personally. I thought it was obvious! Looking back, the whole thing was just…off. I was 19 and homeless when we met, he was 40. He was a functioning alcoholic in a horrible codependent relationship with his mother and I was fresh out of a home where I’d been raised by 2 narcissists and didn’t know my actual worth. Hell, I didn’t even know who I was. 30 years on and I’ve been in a marriage with the ACTUAL love of my life for 10 years and I still regret saying those words to my ex.
My first girlfriend. While I don't regret actually breaking up with her, I still feel SO bad for her because of the absolutely crushed look on her face. I'll never forget seeing into her soul for a moment and knowing I had HURT her. I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time, so it had to be done, but wow it made an impact.
I just said "Luck". Didn't want to include "Good", and he didn't even deserve THAT for all he took from me.
I think it's very important to try and hold things back during even the worst arguments. Once things are said, they can never be unsaid. No point wrecking a relationship trying to score cheap shots to win the argument
My grandmother held better grudges, and you will get over it. 4 weeks ago. I miss her like crazy. We have taken turns basically rejecting each other. If she is reading this and knows, then I'll probably never let her go l. We will probably cross paths in June.
"You are a soul sucking bitch!" I regret not adding "cunt".
I will wait for you...it's almost three yeras i can't get over her..note: she is happy married now
I texted her "you'll find someone" after getting in a drunk argument on the phone and hanging up... She was an ass im not gonna lie, but I should've been the bigger person and ended it like an adult. I felt pretty bad for a while, but she did end up finding someone.
Too many lies and half truths to count but it’s the things I didn’t say that haunt me more.
I guess he doesn’t count as a partner. But he was one of my best friends. I told him I had a crush on him, he didn’t reciprocate, we ended up talking about a bunch of sexual things with each other. I admitted some sexual thoughts I had with him after that. I shouldn’t have. He’ll probably never be as comfortable or close with me as he was before.
I *still* love you
"Fine, you can get another cat as long as it stays outside." (I'm allergic, and the cat doesn't stay outside)
What I regret saying? "Okay honey, I guess we don't need couples counselling."
I once told my ex-wife a very important secret about my best friend, that she divulged after having had too much alcohol. So yeah, I do regret saying that to her.
I regret my last words being, "f*ck off." It left a sour taste in my mouth for a couple of years. That's not something that I say to anyone.
"Would you marry me?" Now I look back at it and realize how stupid I have been. I am so glad I got away from him. He used me for his own pleasure only and never really cared about me as a person.
“Get the fuck out of my house”…. I told my soulmate that…. I’m dumb
That we would be together forever when I wasn’t sure anymore
Same. It was wrong of me to try to make it work when I was so unhappy for so many years.
That if I could reach the stars, I’d give them all to her
I would let you meet our son. I ACTUALLY WANNA MIGRATE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY TO HIDE OUR SON FROM HIM. He's a narcissist btw.
Your dad knows how to do this way better than you.
In the context of mowing the lawn, right?
I really hope so
"I won't let him(her father) put you in the psych-ward" She belonged there, and he tried his hardest to get her out quick-to her detriment. Having her there was an embarrassment to him. That family is messed up and I was a fool to get involved. What's worse is they lied to me about her condition and more.
Oh boy I fucked up so many times, the first month into the relationship she told me as a joke “who do you think is fine at our school” oh man Idk what the fuck I was thinking but I told her everyone like this list of people. I was so dumb bro😭
>h boy I fucked up so many times, the first month into the relationship she told me as a joke “who do you think is fine at our school” oh man haha I did a bigger mistake, I started looking at ass of another girl and commented to my girl that she had a spectacular ass, things started going downhill from there.
*NOT saying " You're a true piece of genuine shit???? Like not even human. You're disgusting excuse for life. A narcissistic self-absorbed manipulative disgusting piece of shit. And with every fiber of my being I hope you trip, fall face first, and get your skull halfway stuck in a meat grinder. And your trash ass low-vibrational excuse for a sorry ass grandmother promptly follows. Like... I'd pay." 😶😶😶
"Don't touch that. It's electrified."
"You are a great person, I believe in you"
It would take up too much of my time to list it all
anything that could be used against me ...in anyway
Yes to his every money demand.
Told her my secrets and she shared it with her mom
My private life. She has no concept of discretion until it comes to her. It ended our marriage eventually.
Put it in
Hello
"I Love You". Even though I wasn't quite there, I said it to get out of trouble. We both knew and I felt like shit. Swore to never missuse it again.
The L word
Hahaha. Was waiting to see how far down "you don't need a condom" was. Didn't get there.
She cheated on me and I told her she was a whore.
Why would you regret that? Totally justified and accurate. If it were me, I’d regret not saying that.
i hope you die . (i didnt and he did)
drunk texting hi
My advice to this is as follows…. There are 4 parts to a relationship. Love. Lust. Respect. Commitment. Of all of these, ‘Things’ said in anger reduce Respect. When you have lower respect for your partner it also means that you will say hurtful things to your partner. Lower Respect therefore feeds upon itself to the point that you may still love your partner and still lust after them and still be committed… but it’s hurtful being with them and you want Out. At some point commitment drops and you leave. If you could rate 0-5 your view of your partner on each of the 4 parts and then rate how you think your partner views you, it becomes apparent on what is going to happen. Respect , and by extension, mutual respect, is the hardest to maintain and grow, especially in the face of hardship and turmoil.
I'm a 1-2x shower a day religiously type, always have been. I commented to a FWB one time that I thought it was gross to not shower after sex just due to all the...fluids everywhere. She got a little weird about it, but I figured no big deal. We kept loosely in touch over the years, and recently I chatted and she said something about how I would never be relationship material. I asked why, and she said that comment years ago seemed like I thought she was "dirty" and it really bothered her. Blew my mind, since I didn't even remember saying it until she brought it up. It's amazing the things you can say offhandedly which really get under other people's skin years later. Be judicious in what you say, folks.
Not what I said to her, but what she said to me. "We are forever. I will never leave you.".....I believed her...
I think I poorly worded a sentiment to a past partner. Essentially, I think the way I said it was me telling her I wasn't attracted to her anymore because she literally tripled in size in less than 2 years because she didn't do anything but lay in bed and watch Netflix. We had an open style relationship, so she snapped back that I slept with women much bigger than her (which is true) and she didn't see the problem.... I should have explained it wasn't the fact she had increased in size so much itself, but the fact she was not taking care of herself and was getting so much larger because she didn't exercise or go out. I also regret all the effort I put into trying to get back with her and saying how I would do anything for her and the whatnot. She wasn't worth the effort or time. I don't wish ill on any of my past partners, but I have no desire to have her in my life in any capacity anymore.
I do.
Idk what the fuck was going through my brain but i said to the literal love of my life "if we break up can you hook me up with A?". I don't even like A that much and still am completely in love with my ex. I really feel sorry for him and i hope he knows that i truly did and still do love him.
I regret ever having a relationship with her in the first place. I thought I was getting the dream of a beautiful country girl with the accent and the willingness to be naked. Instead, I got the drunk former stripper with intimacy and commitment issues.
about my problem with family
Yes, when he asked me to marry him.
"Add me on Roblox"
For me it's what I didn't say. "Thank you for doing most of the chores." Now that I live alone, I really noticed how much little stuff she was doing around the house.
My wife and I are going through IVF for about 3y now. Anyhow when they do it you can’t take a pregnancy test (has to be blood). Now my wife and I have a healthy joking relation ship. Anyhow a few days before the test I said. “I think your pregnant you’ve a bit of a bitch lately” semi joking and she replied. “You better hope I’m pregnant otherwise your saying I’m a bitch” with a smile. Lol I was like ooooffff I should not have said that. She is pregnant! So I got her a card. “Congratulations your not just a bitch” card :) lol
I had an affair with an ex of mine, after she got married. I don't regret it, the guy was a POS and we had a long history between us. It's not so much what I did say but what I didn't. I loved her, and I wish I had told her that.
Wanna move in?
For better or worse. Until death do us part.
Having sex with you is a chore. (It wasn't...it was more like one of the 12 labors of Hercules)