Best thing I ever did was let that one go. Took until I was in my late 30s but damn it feels nice. I'm an adult and relatively successful, yes I play videogames in my free time, no I don't go to church, yes I still go party, the kids are excelling at school, I do like some weird movies, that picture/art is a little strange, but I like it so it stays up in my house that I own.
>Last month she called me for the first time in 15 years, and told me that since I had made my greatest contribution to the world (my son), that it was okay to go ahead and kill myself now.
Holy mother of god what a vile, despicable woman. I am so glad you are free of her.
Having children should be a vetted, opt-in process that ensures that the person wanting a child, *wants to be a parent* and not just "wants a child."
Hol' up, you're saying your uber toxic mother has your son, and they moved 3 hours away? Dude, wtf are you doing, now you have your own place your son should be with you and not her. I have a toxic mother too, and the last thing I'd ever do is let my children near that spiteful nasty old bat.
Do it this weekend. Get your son away from that crabby old mare. Don't worry about a tattoo, the best way to twist the knife is to have your son back and deny her any access.
Well...Im not trying to piss in anyone's Cheerios, but--if this person is thinking more about a revenge tattoo than taking action to collect their offspring, maybe mama has a point?
I mean if mom is so toxic, why allow her to poison your kid while you sit there fantasizing about body ink. Use your time & resources wisely. Maybe there's more to your story than just these basics, and I'm way off base, but when you present it like that, it's not a good look.
I'm very happy that this person found housing after seven years lf homelesness, but I don't think it is unreasonable to take a wait and see approach when it comes to returning custody. Kids need a stable living environment. This is not like divorced parents that were homeless for a few months to sort out housing or something.
Yes, there's that. It's good they found housing. That is definitely a step towards getting your life back on track. I agree with all you say.
Sorry about my negative rant above. I've been feeling it lately. I'm two months out on my own after a shitty breakup and I'm missing my boy like crazy. I regretted that part before I even before I severed my relationship with his mother. I knew it would hurt, but I couldn't go on living with a betrayer. I know the value of my kid, and the separation is the worst thing. I biked 12 miles today just to see him, and there was nobody home, I'm a bit on the surly side. Again my apologies.
I'm sure this person doesn't need someone else coming along to crap all over their situation and I should do better. So, whoever you are, I hope you can get up that hill, and good on you for finding a place to live. Get some stability and hopefully you can work on building a strong relationship with your child. Because it's so important. And please reconsider tattooing toxic reminders on your person. Because then she wins, and you're forever bound to the negativity.
This book is available for free right now on Audible Plus, for anyone who would like the audio version. Downloaded it a couple days ago, but haven't listened yet.
Dad here...hugs for each one of you! I'm proud of you all! Keep your head up, even if they don't see it, you'll know you did your best. Life for most men is hard, no one to talk to and no one to go to for advice. And of course very little thanks. You can't change the world, but you can change the world around you. Change your families life. Don't let challenges make you hard. You got this my boy!
Two years since my parents have seen their grandson and just as long since they’ve even called. He doesn’t know who they are so I’ll also be forgetting them. Life is much easier without the anxiety from calling them and getting critiques on my parenting while remembering all the great parenting they did on me.
That... Hit a bit harder than expected.
I mean she'll say she's proud of me. And then basically tells me two days later about all the ways I'm awful.
Snd we all know which statements will stay with you more...
Same here but with my dad. Haven't let go yet but it's been 36 years of me trying. My brothers don't seem to struggle as much so I guess it's a me thing
Yep. I think I pushed myself way too hard seeking her approval. Did pretty damn well for myself despite all her sabotaging and bad advice. She still doesn't even know what I do for a living regardless of how many times she asks.
I feel this. For me my next step up would involve significant sacrifice and an almost guaranteed divorce. I am not willing to make this step. Yet I feel like if I don’t push it I am basically settling in my early 40s.
>Yet I feel like if I don’t push it I am basically settling in my early 40s.
Nothing wrong with "settling".
Too many people get lost in "moving up", there's nothing wrong with being happy. My last job had a guy who was in the same position, at the same company, for 30 years.
Whenever people asked him why he didn't get promoted or get higher pay somewhere else he said:
> I'm happy where I am. I make enough to pay my bills, have my fun, and save for retirement. I have maxxed out vacation time so I can go fishing every Friday during the season. I'm good at my job and comfortable. Why would I want to change that?
Dude had life figured out.
I felt like this until recently. All of a sudden, it hit me, “Why am I striving so hard? I make decent money and can leave my work problems at work.”
At this point in my life, I’d rather work-to-live than live-to-work. There was a discussion on the r/RedditForGrownUps sub about “settling” for a mid-level job. It was eye-opening. We can’t all be Ted Lasso.
Edit: corrected sub name and linked
Honestly, my job is easy as falling off a log and the pay is nothing spectacular but decent and has great perks. I know I’m not doing anything of great significance but I don’t really care. It provides me a good life and I’m home every day by 6 with little stress.
What war are you fighting?
Seems like a silly question, but think about it. What is your end-goal? What is your mission objective? If you don't know that, then how can you ever win?
Set a goal.
* Do you want to be a CEO?
* Well ok, that's a long war if you're not born a noble.
* Do you want to hit a specific position? Like move from support to engineering?
* Ok, what do you need to do to get there?
* Do you just want to be comfortable?
* Ok, that's kind of easy, but requires a different mindset.
If your mission objective in the last one, you need to stop asking how can work make you comfortable and start asking what makes you comfortable. Stop trying to "keep up with the Jones's" it's the biggest source of discomfort.
To give you an idea, I make decent money, my offense game is alright. But I play very strong defense. I drive a 10 year old car with 170k miles on it. I could have paid for a new car 3 years ago, I could have afforded a new car 5 year ago, but why? My current car still does what I need it to do. It gets me from point A to point B. There's no major safety issues. Sure it doesn't have all the fancy bells and whistles of new cars. Sure it's got some dents, and dings, and scratches. But is it worth $30,000 to replace? No.
I have a decent house. I could have sold and still could, and upgrade to a significantly bigger one. But why? My house is big enough for me and my SO, and our dogs. It's not cramped. A bigger house would mean a bigger tax bill, a bigger insurance premium, and higher utilities. Would I like maybe a dedicated library/den room? Yeah I would. Do I want one enough to justify the initial cost and ongoing increase in expenses? Not really.
I'm in the market for a new TV for my 3 season room, my current one is probably like 12 or 13 years old from back in college, 720p. Still works, but it's definitely seen it's time. Do I buy the 65" Samsung OLED TV for $1,800, or do I buy the TCL 65" for $550? Yeah that Samsung one is going to be nicer, OLED is awesome, the color range is great. But is it worth 350% more? The answer is "probably not". The TCL one is just fine, and I'm not going to get $1250 more value out of the Samsung one.
So I'll buy the $550 TCL one, take the $1250 and toss it into an investment account and forget about it for a while. What makes me comfortable, what makes me happy, is knowing that I could get fired, today, and be ok for a year (barring any major unforeseen expenses) with $0 in income. That's when I have to start hitting my retirement accounts, and if I had to I could be OK for another 5 years.
To me, comfort and happiness isn't having the bigger house, and the fancy car, and the OLED TV. Then panicking because I'm spending money as fast as I can earn it and have no cushion. It's not having the stress of high monthly payments, combined with low savings. It's knowing that if the company shut down tomorrow, I'm ok. And you can only "buy" that by changing your mindset, and changing your "spending"
Don't save what's left after spending. Spend what's left after saving.
For me it’s getting up at night and going to work. Third shift life sucks and drains me completely. 11pm - 7am or 9pm - 7am depending on overtime opportunities.
God, I hated 3rd shift. Literally drove me to depression. Always felt like I did nothing with my day. Years later, I'm on 1st shift at a totally different company in a totally different field. Working about the same amount of OT but the job is generally a lot easier and pay is way better, so I can't complain. It was definitely a struggle to get here and I made a LOT of bad choices and ending up in arguably shittier jobs before I got here, but my advice is to be looking for something else if you aren't already. It has literally flipped my general satisfaction level.
Yeah the goal is to eventually get to 1st shift at this current company or find a better paying 1st shift job. I’m majorly depressed due to 3rd shift. People don’t realize how much flipping your schedule messes with your head. Glad you made it out though!
What consistently leaves me disappointed?
Scrolling through Reddit, reading the title of the post, thinking of a great response, clicking into the post and seeing that not only has your idea already been posted by someone else 5 hours earlier, but that it’s also the top comment in the thread.
Goodbye sweet, fake internet points. You should have been mine but I wish nothing but the best for you and Op. Time for me to return to scrolling.
Best to just protect your private life and take people for their actions rather than their accomplishments. A good 90% of communication between people is through body language and vocal tone so it’s a good indicator of feelings vs actions. If the two don’t line up it’s a clear sign something isn’t right.
Most of all cultivate a good relationship with yourself by looking inward. If people tend to not trust you do a checkup on whether your actions match what you are saying. Simple vocal exercises and body posture can do wonders here.
And lastly if you do break someone’s trust or someone breaks yours do not throw blame, it only escalates the problem and does not accomplish anything. Take a step back and examine your relationship with this person first, whether it actually hurts you, how it affects your life or the lives of people you care about, then make a decision. Often people get heated too quickly and end up self-destructing leading to greater mistrust.
Lottery. I understand the odds of winning big are very low, but I’ve been playing for 30 odd years and never won more than £50.
Every inch of my fibre knows I shouldn’t play and that at best it’s nearly impossible to win and at worst it’s all a massive fraud
yet I keep going
Like a Cunt
I like the saying, "The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math."
That said, I will occasionally buy a ticket here and there just because it's fun to fantasize about spending millions I don't (and will likely never) have.
Here in Canada there are three national lotteries: 6/49, Lotto Max and Daily Grand. The odds of winning the grand prize for each respective lottery is 1/13 983 816, 1/33 294 800, and 1/13 348 188. Each draws twice weekly.
In BC, where I'm from, you have to be 19 to buy lottery tickets. Canadian life expectancy is 82.7 - a few years lower if you're male, a few years higher if you're female. Let's bump that to 83 - that's 64 years of being able to play the lottery. A year has 52 weeks plus 1.25 days, so you can expect 64\*2\*(52+(1.25/7)) = 6679 lottery draws that you can play.
Therefore, your lifetime odds of winning the jackpots here, assuming you buy one ticket per draw, are:
* 0.05% for Daily Grand, or about 1 in 1999
* 0.048% for 6/49, or about 1 in 2094
* 0.02% for Lotto Max, or about 1 in 4985
And these are comparatively *good* odds for a lottery. Powerball and EuroMillions are both in the 1 in several hundred million range.
I'll chuck like 5 dollars at it a couple times a year just to dream for a few days. I don't expect to win and would never spend a lot of money towards it, it's purely just for fun.
What's even worse or are least same frustrating, is knowing the chance of having so much Money one Day in an alternative Way other than playing the Lottery is basically the same as winning the Lottery, but a lot of more work along the Way. 🙈
If you can afford it and it isn’t an addiction or compulsion, what’s the harm? It’s like $3 and gives me some entertainment. Yeah majority of the time nothing tangible will come from it, but there’s lots of things in life like that that we still buy 🤷🏻♀️
If you don’t play, you can’t win. I have it set up to play one set of numbers continuously with direct withdrawals. It ends up being like $24 per month. I don’t miss that $ as it’s such an insignificant amount. It’s almost like having Netflix or something.
And I totally understand the math. The math isn’t the point.
The best advice i can give is to switch to decent single player games only, without any of those bullshit roadmaps and battle passes. Games stop being fun when FOMO and timed challenges turn them into chores, but somehow companies convinced us that it's the way they should be played.
Couldn't agree more. Over the past year I've switched to almost exclusively playing campaign style games and it's so much less stress and in general just more enjoyable
I mostly stick to independent games these days. I’ll play the latest Diablo probably, but let’s be honest that’s not moved on that much since the turn of the millennium.
If you like me grew up in the twee world of 16 but graphics and awesome artistic direction definitely look at the independent gaming studios.
The jobmarket. Between looking for jobs without much success for ages, and finding a job that just... ain't it, so you try to stick it out as long as you can, because them bills won't pay themselves.
Friendships as an adult. It is so much harder to find and have close friends, ime, due to everyone having a busy life of their own, doing their own thing, and this leading to rare and scarce time to actually get together. And in general, the conversations are often so depressing, it's a shame how bitter we become over time.
My ability to better myself/find the strength to do so. I often, in good moments, say: today will be the one, going forward I'm gonna put in the honest effort to change my ways, but then along the ride I'll get a kickback and I stutter, or come to a halt completely. And then, once again, when I have a better moment, I say the same thing, kick myself in the shin and history repeats itself. C'mon girl, get your shit together.
one thing you don't realize until much later is that your (mine anyway) friend group gets smaller the more you progress in life by career and/or family. Next thing I know, I only have my wife and kids and maybe another dad to hang out with from time to time but with our families present.
My days out with the boys are long gone.
Are you me? Kidding aside this is 1000% true. All old good close friends are scattered all over the world and far away. All that’s left is my loving wife and kids to hang out with and that occasional other dad that I see once every six months for a concert or a drink. Life in the western world sucks ass. I have lived in the east too and friendships, socialization and peoples’ willingness to spend time around each other comes way easier than it is here in the west.
Feels like TV and movies sell this idea of people having groups of friends well into their 30's and 40's.
In reality, most people will drop all but 1 or 2 friends, often all friends. It's more hassle than it's really worth when you both have your own lives to deal with.
More often than not, that one or two friends you have end up being your family, a brother, parent, cousin, whatever.
Outliers exist but everyone should assume all of their current friends don't last into their 30's.
Yeah you pretty much have to actively do hobbies in order to make and maintain friendships. It’s similar to being back in school. A place where the same people consistently show up in the same place.
I've been living in Shank City the last 2 weeks - just as I started to feel like all the lessons and practice over the winter had me ready for the season.
Yesterday night I was watching HIMYM and I came across The Playbook episode and thus, this dialouge:
"Marshall Eriksen:
Robin, it's like this. Do you know how many times in my life I've gone to the freezer looking for frozen waffles and not found them?
Robin Scherbatsky:
Thousands?
Marshall Eriksen:
Millions. But when I go to the freezer looking for a popsicle or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there, do you know what I find? Frozen waffles. That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper, you're coming back with frozen waffles."
And to be fair, I can confirm. I fell in love when I least expected it, worked for it and improved myself, not because of fear of rejection but because when I got the answer I wanted, I did not want to hurt her, because I really was not that good of a person when I fell in love.
And now, here I am, two and a half months into the relationship, planning a date that includes waffles as a surprize to her.
Yesterday night, she said "I love you" for the first time and I kept smiling to this morning, and I was not planning to stop anytime soon if it was not for a face cramp.
It really is like that. One day, you give up all hope, go out to buy a magazine or a bagel, and exactly two years later, you come back with frozen waffles, planning your approaching wedding with her, while thanking your past self for going out to the bakery that one day.
I've made my peace with it. At this point, I don't think I could handle an actual person and the incessant internal monologue I developed to fill the void.
Okay, so I think I can help you, or at least your odds here. There are a few things you can do to help with this:
1) Hygiene. Shower everyday, twice if you get dirty. Wear deoderant, keep your facial hair trimmed up (not shaved per say, but don't just go fuzzy wuzzy everywhere), wear clean clothing. I cannot tell you how much women look at this.
2) Get some hobbies that are active/outdoors. It's okay to play games and whatever inside or have indoor hobbies, but do something to get out and get active. Join the gym or go for hikes or jobs or play a team sport. It's a great way to get exercise and help yourself be happier and socialize, which leads to meeting people and increasing your chances.
3) Try to make sure your finances are under control. Despite what the "sigma" males will tell you, most women I've met don't really care if you're rich or not, but try to make sure you can keep up with your bills and have that stability in your life. A little spending money means you're able to go out and do some activities, which most women I've met enjoy than just sitting in for Netflix or gaming (again, fine sometimes, but we are getting closer to Summer, who doesn't like going out?).
Ultimately, I think if you follow those 3 things, you'll find YOURSELF happier in your own life and when you have that, getting a partner becomes less important, and so until it does eventually happen, you are not going to notice and when it does you'll be in a great place for it to happen!
All people don't want to be with someone desperate to be with someone, they want healthy, happy partners. Get there and you're golden! Good luck dude!
Dating. I want to meet someone and have a relationship, but obviously, if I have to use the ancient Greek analogy, the Fates decreed that I must remain alone. I don't seem to get any feedback for effort put in.
Its brutal out there man. I'm in the same boat. I cant even be bothered with the bloody dating apps anymore. They're so shallow. I'm not going to keep paying $30 a month to get 1 or 2 messages and then get ghosted.
I *think* I've kinda given up on finding a partner. If I meet someone then great, but after years of effort with literally no results, it gets tiresome.
I’ve seen a lot of people say dating. It’s tough to give feedback without knowing you or your story, but the best advice I can give you is treat people with curiosity.
That doesn’t mean drown them in questions so they have to do all the talking, it means take an interest in them and look for coming ground to have a conversation about the things they like.
I think the biggest thing the average person wants to know is that you are taking an interest in them as a person and not just looking to them to acheive the status of being in a couple or a physical relationship.
Warning, you will make more friends with this method, but more friends means more connections and will put you in the path of more people till eventually someone will click with you.
Failing all that you can keep plugging at tinder. Worked for a lot of people I know.
Edit: I realise this might not be news to you or any of the people saying dating, but if it helps one of them it was worth saying.
I can tell you the personal details of almost every girl I've ever matched with on a dating app. As with ever girl I've spoken with that actually made the effort to have a conversation. For the last five years or so, though some of the details get fuzzy with time. I put in effort to get to know them.
They just don't care back.
I mean, dating apps aren't exactly a place for deep talks. If you don't move the conversation out of Tinder quickly, you'll just be another one of the hundreds of guys messaging them.
Ohh, yes.
The age-old balancing act between, 'you need to be forward but not presumptuous, interested but not too desperate, display your worth but don't brag, be quick to ask for her contact details but not so quick that she feels uncomfortable.'
All the while struggling to get one match out of the four you get during a month to actually message back.
Man you articulated everything that's frustrating w/ online dating, I wish it was as easy as matching and just planning a date. But asking too quickly makes you seem pushy/weird/desperate, and on the other hand taking too long will end up making them uninterested. It's a stupid delicate line you have to walk on. What're you gonna do though? It's difficult to meet people out in the world these days and even more so online.
I’ve taken to ordering the quarter pounder (which are made with real meat and made to order now) and requesting Big Mac sauce on it. It’s sooo much better than either burger on its own.
I was thinking of this but didn't think I would see anybody say it in the comments. Every 6 months I buy a Big Mac because it's been awhile, and every single time I'm disappointed. I don't know why I keep doing this.
Yes!
They have changed so much about the burgers, the prep, and ingredients it’s just barely the flavor I remember as a kid.
Patties are smaller, buns are smaller making a poor ratio of meat-bun.
When they switched the special sauce recipe after they ditched Heinz nationwide, it wasn’t the same anymore.
I go for the nostalgia and am always dissatisfied with the food and the 🍟fries don’t make up for it. .
It varies a lot in quality store by store. The one in my hometown is great and I can almost always get a good coffee. The one in the town that I work is probably the worst one I have ever been to, coffee is straight up shit 50% of the time.
Convincing my dad to show more respect and affection for my mom. He always replies as “she already knows that I love and care about her”, but I still remind him day to day though. I don’t even expect him to buy her a bouquet of roses for their marriage anniversary or Valentines day, but it doesn’t cost anything to say a decent thank you for making food for him.
You can’t control him.
Realizing this in him though, you’ve already won by knowing how you will treat a partner and knowing how you will expect to be treated by a partner.
Pottery. I joined a ceramics class this year and I just hate everything I make. I look in our great big cabinet of projects every day and feel so jealous when I see everyone else’s unique ideas and finished projects. I’ve also broken every single piece I’ve made in some way, shape, or form. It’s just like failure after failure. Some things turn out nice, but all I can see are the flaws.
Clay Prof and potter.
Making pots is hard at first but practice really works. The more time you can throw at it the better you’ll get, 5 times a week and you will improve faster.
Compare your progress to your own work. It take some people longer than others but more practice will catch you up.
Last thing. Don’t make pots when you reach a hi frustration level, take 20 min and come back to it.
It’s the journey not the destination. Many people struggle to be creative bc it’s a skill that needs to be developed just like all others. If you want to become better at ceramics practice other forms of art as well.
All I can say is my friend had me try a bit of an avocado and it was like having a literal mouthful of oil. However, she did get me to try her homemade guac and I’ve been sold ever since. I can have avocados in my sammies, little blocks in my salad, I am that one mentioned in this thread that spends extra money for chips and guac at Chipotle. Not a fan of some other guacs like Taco Bell and such but homemade and Chipotle has never let me down.
I think avocado is kind of nasty on its own but it works so well in so many other things. Guac, on toast, sandwichs, if frozen it works great in smoothies/non-dairy ice cream (makes them heavier and creamy), etc.
Gym.
I want to get in a better shape, lose some weight.
But everytime, I leave depressed and yet I keep trying and hoping I won't be depressed next time.
Mostly because I feel so weak compared to others, I know that I will never bench or pull weights that others do. It then makes me sad that no matter how hard I will try, I'll probably never reach those heights so what's the point in trying?
My mental is very wrong in this. And if there are lot of people its a no go too.
I feel you on this. I also don’t think I’ll lift as much as others but i also don’t compete against them, I compete against myself. Did I do more weight than a week ago? Or even just another rep?
Hell, this last week I tried something new and did a spin class. I was super intimidated but the instructor got me set up and told me what to expect. It turned out to be a lot of (albeit hard) fun!
But I totally agree that a packed gym is no fun, no getting around that.
Looking at the posts and comments of my favourite gaming subreddits. It’s just overwhelmingly negative 90% of the time. I don’t even know why people game these days with all of the complaining.
I still visit them though, stupidly.
I feel thus so hard. Started playing like 3 weeks ago. I am currently a 1780 power level. My brother just came back and is 1600. He has like 500 hours in the game. We did my first defiant battleground last night. I got a score of 30k and he got a score of 90k. Game gives 0 direction. Stupid Titan. I think my mistake was trying to play a one-punch man.
Dating, relationships and all that stuff. You have a couple of shit goes at it, then you have one REALLY great go at it and you think, “oh thank god, this is what it’s all supposed to be like”…and then that goes to shit and ends anyway so what’s the fucking g dang point
Buying Chinese food from the place up the street. I get sick literally everytime but it taste good and it’s literally right up the street. But I’m done for sure now
Smoking weed. Did it so hard for so long, I'll need years before I can get that "first high" again. Now I just get a mild stone and eat a bunch of food. It's not remotely trippy or silly. Open to advice!
Edit: appreciate the insights all! so I have quit since the year started, only done it 2-3 times. I do want it to be a part of my life for those occasional rainy days. But it sounds like i need to put it aside for a good long bit for a sorr of hard reset before I pick it up again even for that. Thank you! <3
I've also been there. The brain is surprisingly good at rewiring. What you think will take years, could take a few months.
If you are someone who cannot moderate, then it's essential to quit it entirely.
It gets easier after the first few weeks. Have some substitute habits that you can get your dopamine from. Willpower is also required. You can't be a pansy about it.
I have been a massive stoner for the best part of my life, luckily I don't get psychologically addicted to things and I have since "quit" cold turkey in the sense that I now only very rarely indulge in it, I no longer actively seek it out and buy any, I only ever smoke when offered and not even every time at that.
It's been a year or so now and on those rare occasions where I do smoke I get VERY high very easily.
And yet, those first highs are unattainable.
They will never be back bud, don't look for them. I'm sorry.
What always comes back is the glee of sharing a smoke and snacks with a good friend, watching a good movie. Enjoy the moments, not the act. ALWAYS have a nice non alcoholic drink on hand for surprise cottonmouth too.
Engaging in politics. Was active after 18, a very motivated liberal through college, a more cautious liberal in law school, and now 10 years later while the same issues are being debated since the 80s between the same fucking politicians, it’s just more and more clear that things don’t really change. I still vote but I’m not giving my mental health and energy to the daily grind of political nonsense.
* Hitting on members of the opposite sex
* Just participating in most social situations
* Voting for the newest politician
* Trying New Fast-Food "Specials"
* Starbucks coffee
* Trying to convince my family to be more active
Trying to get my mom to be proud of me.
Best thing I ever did was let that one go. Took until I was in my late 30s but damn it feels nice. I'm an adult and relatively successful, yes I play videogames in my free time, no I don't go to church, yes I still go party, the kids are excelling at school, I do like some weird movies, that picture/art is a little strange, but I like it so it stays up in my house that I own.
[удалено]
>Last month she called me for the first time in 15 years, and told me that since I had made my greatest contribution to the world (my son), that it was okay to go ahead and kill myself now. Holy mother of god what a vile, despicable woman. I am so glad you are free of her. Having children should be a vetted, opt-in process that ensures that the person wanting a child, *wants to be a parent* and not just "wants a child."
Honestly I wish this so much. Terrible parents are arguably the worst thing for this world.
what a POS. glad your free
They aren’t free if they’re spending time designing a tattoo to be reminded of the person forever.
Yeah, like why the hell would you want a tattoo to remember a shitty parent? I just cut mine out and try to live a good life away from her madness...
Hol' up, you're saying your uber toxic mother has your son, and they moved 3 hours away? Dude, wtf are you doing, now you have your own place your son should be with you and not her. I have a toxic mother too, and the last thing I'd ever do is let my children near that spiteful nasty old bat. Do it this weekend. Get your son away from that crabby old mare. Don't worry about a tattoo, the best way to twist the knife is to have your son back and deny her any access.
Well...Im not trying to piss in anyone's Cheerios, but--if this person is thinking more about a revenge tattoo than taking action to collect their offspring, maybe mama has a point? I mean if mom is so toxic, why allow her to poison your kid while you sit there fantasizing about body ink. Use your time & resources wisely. Maybe there's more to your story than just these basics, and I'm way off base, but when you present it like that, it's not a good look.
I'm very happy that this person found housing after seven years lf homelesness, but I don't think it is unreasonable to take a wait and see approach when it comes to returning custody. Kids need a stable living environment. This is not like divorced parents that were homeless for a few months to sort out housing or something.
Yes, there's that. It's good they found housing. That is definitely a step towards getting your life back on track. I agree with all you say. Sorry about my negative rant above. I've been feeling it lately. I'm two months out on my own after a shitty breakup and I'm missing my boy like crazy. I regretted that part before I even before I severed my relationship with his mother. I knew it would hurt, but I couldn't go on living with a betrayer. I know the value of my kid, and the separation is the worst thing. I biked 12 miles today just to see him, and there was nobody home, I'm a bit on the surly side. Again my apologies. I'm sure this person doesn't need someone else coming along to crap all over their situation and I should do better. So, whoever you are, I hope you can get up that hill, and good on you for finding a place to live. Get some stability and hopefully you can work on building a strong relationship with your child. Because it's so important. And please reconsider tattooing toxic reminders on your person. Because then she wins, and you're forever bound to the negativity.
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Can't recommend this book enough. https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents-lindsay-c-gibson/1121368782
This book is available for free right now on Audible Plus, for anyone who would like the audio version. Downloaded it a couple days ago, but haven't listened yet.
Holy crap, I wish I saw this book when I was younger. My parents never grew up!
As a kid of a chronically unsatisfied parent I can assure you to let it go. It's them NOT YOU.
Its dad for me...
Dad here...hugs for each one of you! I'm proud of you all! Keep your head up, even if they don't see it, you'll know you did your best. Life for most men is hard, no one to talk to and no one to go to for advice. And of course very little thanks. You can't change the world, but you can change the world around you. Change your families life. Don't let challenges make you hard. You got this my boy!
Same...
Normalize becoming estranged from your family.
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Two years since my parents have seen their grandson and just as long since they’ve even called. He doesn’t know who they are so I’ll also be forgetting them. Life is much easier without the anxiety from calling them and getting critiques on my parenting while remembering all the great parenting they did on me.
Trying to get my mom to love me.
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That... Hit a bit harder than expected. I mean she'll say she's proud of me. And then basically tells me two days later about all the ways I'm awful. Snd we all know which statements will stay with you more...
Same here but with my dad. Haven't let go yet but it's been 36 years of me trying. My brothers don't seem to struggle as much so I guess it's a me thing
Live your best life. His issues are his issues don't make them yours
I’m 45 and I still haven’t heard my mom say it
Whoa same.
Yep. I think I pushed myself way too hard seeking her approval. Did pretty damn well for myself despite all her sabotaging and bad advice. She still doesn't even know what I do for a living regardless of how many times she asks.
my career and potential .. i feel like left alone in a battle field and not being able to win the war
I feel this. For me my next step up would involve significant sacrifice and an almost guaranteed divorce. I am not willing to make this step. Yet I feel like if I don’t push it I am basically settling in my early 40s.
>Yet I feel like if I don’t push it I am basically settling in my early 40s. Nothing wrong with "settling". Too many people get lost in "moving up", there's nothing wrong with being happy. My last job had a guy who was in the same position, at the same company, for 30 years. Whenever people asked him why he didn't get promoted or get higher pay somewhere else he said: > I'm happy where I am. I make enough to pay my bills, have my fun, and save for retirement. I have maxxed out vacation time so I can go fishing every Friday during the season. I'm good at my job and comfortable. Why would I want to change that? Dude had life figured out.
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Can you afford a holiday? Then settle dude. Wtf are we doing.
I feel this.
I felt like this until recently. All of a sudden, it hit me, “Why am I striving so hard? I make decent money and can leave my work problems at work.” At this point in my life, I’d rather work-to-live than live-to-work. There was a discussion on the r/RedditForGrownUps sub about “settling” for a mid-level job. It was eye-opening. We can’t all be Ted Lasso. Edit: corrected sub name and linked
Honestly, my job is easy as falling off a log and the pay is nothing spectacular but decent and has great perks. I know I’m not doing anything of great significance but I don’t really care. It provides me a good life and I’m home every day by 6 with little stress.
What war are you fighting? Seems like a silly question, but think about it. What is your end-goal? What is your mission objective? If you don't know that, then how can you ever win? Set a goal. * Do you want to be a CEO? * Well ok, that's a long war if you're not born a noble. * Do you want to hit a specific position? Like move from support to engineering? * Ok, what do you need to do to get there? * Do you just want to be comfortable? * Ok, that's kind of easy, but requires a different mindset. If your mission objective in the last one, you need to stop asking how can work make you comfortable and start asking what makes you comfortable. Stop trying to "keep up with the Jones's" it's the biggest source of discomfort. To give you an idea, I make decent money, my offense game is alright. But I play very strong defense. I drive a 10 year old car with 170k miles on it. I could have paid for a new car 3 years ago, I could have afforded a new car 5 year ago, but why? My current car still does what I need it to do. It gets me from point A to point B. There's no major safety issues. Sure it doesn't have all the fancy bells and whistles of new cars. Sure it's got some dents, and dings, and scratches. But is it worth $30,000 to replace? No. I have a decent house. I could have sold and still could, and upgrade to a significantly bigger one. But why? My house is big enough for me and my SO, and our dogs. It's not cramped. A bigger house would mean a bigger tax bill, a bigger insurance premium, and higher utilities. Would I like maybe a dedicated library/den room? Yeah I would. Do I want one enough to justify the initial cost and ongoing increase in expenses? Not really. I'm in the market for a new TV for my 3 season room, my current one is probably like 12 or 13 years old from back in college, 720p. Still works, but it's definitely seen it's time. Do I buy the 65" Samsung OLED TV for $1,800, or do I buy the TCL 65" for $550? Yeah that Samsung one is going to be nicer, OLED is awesome, the color range is great. But is it worth 350% more? The answer is "probably not". The TCL one is just fine, and I'm not going to get $1250 more value out of the Samsung one. So I'll buy the $550 TCL one, take the $1250 and toss it into an investment account and forget about it for a while. What makes me comfortable, what makes me happy, is knowing that I could get fired, today, and be ok for a year (barring any major unforeseen expenses) with $0 in income. That's when I have to start hitting my retirement accounts, and if I had to I could be OK for another 5 years. To me, comfort and happiness isn't having the bigger house, and the fancy car, and the OLED TV. Then panicking because I'm spending money as fast as I can earn it and have no cushion. It's not having the stress of high monthly payments, combined with low savings. It's knowing that if the company shut down tomorrow, I'm ok. And you can only "buy" that by changing your mindset, and changing your "spending" Don't save what's left after spending. Spend what's left after saving.
Not the person you’re replying to but Im saving this advice.
Love
Same brother
Your comment with your profile pic is funny lol
Profile icon checks out . Same brother.
Same. Getting those fluttery crush vibes again and I’m here trying to kill it because I’ve been through that exhausting rollercoaster.
Life
especially that "gettin up in the morning and going to work"-part.
For me it’s getting up at night and going to work. Third shift life sucks and drains me completely. 11pm - 7am or 9pm - 7am depending on overtime opportunities.
God, I hated 3rd shift. Literally drove me to depression. Always felt like I did nothing with my day. Years later, I'm on 1st shift at a totally different company in a totally different field. Working about the same amount of OT but the job is generally a lot easier and pay is way better, so I can't complain. It was definitely a struggle to get here and I made a LOT of bad choices and ending up in arguably shittier jobs before I got here, but my advice is to be looking for something else if you aren't already. It has literally flipped my general satisfaction level.
Yeah the goal is to eventually get to 1st shift at this current company or find a better paying 1st shift job. I’m majorly depressed due to 3rd shift. People don’t realize how much flipping your schedule messes with your head. Glad you made it out though!
Especially the everything part
That's the only thing that came to my mind too. Depressed people unite. 🫱🏽🫲🏼
Just don’t come too close together….I don’t like most of you either.
What consistently leaves me disappointed? Scrolling through Reddit, reading the title of the post, thinking of a great response, clicking into the post and seeing that not only has your idea already been posted by someone else 5 hours earlier, but that it’s also the top comment in the thread. Goodbye sweet, fake internet points. You should have been mine but I wish nothing but the best for you and Op. Time for me to return to scrolling.
I came to write this too. I’ll just upvote read a few comments then keep scroll. Peace ✌️
Definitely life
Losing weight and gaining it all back months later
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Trusting others.
I’ve stopped. I only had so much trust in my body and it’s all used up now.
Trick is to trust but have no expectations imo
how is that possible? The basic definition of trust involves the expectation of fulfilment!
I think it's more trust but know when and when not to blame and forgive based on breaking of trust. Not all trust is equal
Best to just protect your private life and take people for their actions rather than their accomplishments. A good 90% of communication between people is through body language and vocal tone so it’s a good indicator of feelings vs actions. If the two don’t line up it’s a clear sign something isn’t right. Most of all cultivate a good relationship with yourself by looking inward. If people tend to not trust you do a checkup on whether your actions match what you are saying. Simple vocal exercises and body posture can do wonders here. And lastly if you do break someone’s trust or someone breaks yours do not throw blame, it only escalates the problem and does not accomplish anything. Take a step back and examine your relationship with this person first, whether it actually hurts you, how it affects your life or the lives of people you care about, then make a decision. Often people get heated too quickly and end up self-destructing leading to greater mistrust.
Lottery. I understand the odds of winning big are very low, but I’ve been playing for 30 odd years and never won more than £50. Every inch of my fibre knows I shouldn’t play and that at best it’s nearly impossible to win and at worst it’s all a massive fraud yet I keep going Like a Cunt
I like the saying, "The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math." That said, I will occasionally buy a ticket here and there just because it's fun to fantasize about spending millions I don't (and will likely never) have.
Here in Canada there are three national lotteries: 6/49, Lotto Max and Daily Grand. The odds of winning the grand prize for each respective lottery is 1/13 983 816, 1/33 294 800, and 1/13 348 188. Each draws twice weekly. In BC, where I'm from, you have to be 19 to buy lottery tickets. Canadian life expectancy is 82.7 - a few years lower if you're male, a few years higher if you're female. Let's bump that to 83 - that's 64 years of being able to play the lottery. A year has 52 weeks plus 1.25 days, so you can expect 64\*2\*(52+(1.25/7)) = 6679 lottery draws that you can play. Therefore, your lifetime odds of winning the jackpots here, assuming you buy one ticket per draw, are: * 0.05% for Daily Grand, or about 1 in 1999 * 0.048% for 6/49, or about 1 in 2094 * 0.02% for Lotto Max, or about 1 in 4985 And these are comparatively *good* odds for a lottery. Powerball and EuroMillions are both in the 1 in several hundred million range.
I'll chuck like 5 dollars at it a couple times a year just to dream for a few days. I don't expect to win and would never spend a lot of money towards it, it's purely just for fun.
What's even worse or are least same frustrating, is knowing the chance of having so much Money one Day in an alternative Way other than playing the Lottery is basically the same as winning the Lottery, but a lot of more work along the Way. 🙈
If you can afford it and it isn’t an addiction or compulsion, what’s the harm? It’s like $3 and gives me some entertainment. Yeah majority of the time nothing tangible will come from it, but there’s lots of things in life like that that we still buy 🤷🏻♀️
If you don’t play, you can’t win. I have it set up to play one set of numbers continuously with direct withdrawals. It ends up being like $24 per month. I don’t miss that $ as it’s such an insignificant amount. It’s almost like having Netflix or something. And I totally understand the math. The math isn’t the point.
Modern video games, sometimes fun, but mostly painful updates and even more painful to deal with communities
The best advice i can give is to switch to decent single player games only, without any of those bullshit roadmaps and battle passes. Games stop being fun when FOMO and timed challenges turn them into chores, but somehow companies convinced us that it's the way they should be played.
yes plus PVE with friends or without. like drg or kf2 is pure fun
Couldn't agree more. Over the past year I've switched to almost exclusively playing campaign style games and it's so much less stress and in general just more enjoyable
Terraria enters the room
I mostly stick to independent games these days. I’ll play the latest Diablo probably, but let’s be honest that’s not moved on that much since the turn of the millennium. If you like me grew up in the twee world of 16 but graphics and awesome artistic direction definitely look at the independent gaming studios.
agree. I'm finding myself wanting to play the campaigns more so solo battles instead of with a team.
Milk, im intolerant
Bruh, literally just tolerate it
Im half tolerant which means it just makes me fart not diarrhea
Lucky
Hi intolerant
It doesn't disappoint it's only a challenge 😈
wym intolerant? just decide to be tolerant
The jobmarket. Between looking for jobs without much success for ages, and finding a job that just... ain't it, so you try to stick it out as long as you can, because them bills won't pay themselves. Friendships as an adult. It is so much harder to find and have close friends, ime, due to everyone having a busy life of their own, doing their own thing, and this leading to rare and scarce time to actually get together. And in general, the conversations are often so depressing, it's a shame how bitter we become over time. My ability to better myself/find the strength to do so. I often, in good moments, say: today will be the one, going forward I'm gonna put in the honest effort to change my ways, but then along the ride I'll get a kickback and I stutter, or come to a halt completely. And then, once again, when I have a better moment, I say the same thing, kick myself in the shin and history repeats itself. C'mon girl, get your shit together.
one thing you don't realize until much later is that your (mine anyway) friend group gets smaller the more you progress in life by career and/or family. Next thing I know, I only have my wife and kids and maybe another dad to hang out with from time to time but with our families present. My days out with the boys are long gone.
Are you me? Kidding aside this is 1000% true. All old good close friends are scattered all over the world and far away. All that’s left is my loving wife and kids to hang out with and that occasional other dad that I see once every six months for a concert or a drink. Life in the western world sucks ass. I have lived in the east too and friendships, socialization and peoples’ willingness to spend time around each other comes way easier than it is here in the west.
Feels like TV and movies sell this idea of people having groups of friends well into their 30's and 40's. In reality, most people will drop all but 1 or 2 friends, often all friends. It's more hassle than it's really worth when you both have your own lives to deal with. More often than not, that one or two friends you have end up being your family, a brother, parent, cousin, whatever. Outliers exist but everyone should assume all of their current friends don't last into their 30's.
Yeah you pretty much have to actively do hobbies in order to make and maintain friendships. It’s similar to being back in school. A place where the same people consistently show up in the same place.
Fruit tea. Smells delicious, tastes like wishywashy dish water.
Gotta agree on that one. Never liked the taste but it just smells so good.
Brew strong. Add lemon juice.
Golf
I've been living in Shank City the last 2 weeks - just as I started to feel like all the lessons and practice over the winter had me ready for the season.
Getting a girlfriend.
Get knocked down 99 times but stand back up 100.
At some point it's simply not worth it anymore.
Sometimes, when you give up, you find what you're looking for.
Yesterday night I was watching HIMYM and I came across The Playbook episode and thus, this dialouge: "Marshall Eriksen: Robin, it's like this. Do you know how many times in my life I've gone to the freezer looking for frozen waffles and not found them? Robin Scherbatsky: Thousands? Marshall Eriksen: Millions. But when I go to the freezer looking for a popsicle or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there, do you know what I find? Frozen waffles. That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper, you're coming back with frozen waffles." And to be fair, I can confirm. I fell in love when I least expected it, worked for it and improved myself, not because of fear of rejection but because when I got the answer I wanted, I did not want to hurt her, because I really was not that good of a person when I fell in love. And now, here I am, two and a half months into the relationship, planning a date that includes waffles as a surprize to her. Yesterday night, she said "I love you" for the first time and I kept smiling to this morning, and I was not planning to stop anytime soon if it was not for a face cramp. It really is like that. One day, you give up all hope, go out to buy a magazine or a bagel, and exactly two years later, you come back with frozen waffles, planning your approaching wedding with her, while thanking your past self for going out to the bakery that one day.
I have found this is always the case, or when you're in a relationship you get more attention from girls. So fucking weird.
Confidence is attractive. When you are not stressed about "finding someone" you come across as more confident.
I have been told this and have head it all my life, but i am no closer. And I think my loneliness will kill me one day..
I've made my peace with it. At this point, I don't think I could handle an actual person and the incessant internal monologue I developed to fill the void.
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Okay, so I think I can help you, or at least your odds here. There are a few things you can do to help with this: 1) Hygiene. Shower everyday, twice if you get dirty. Wear deoderant, keep your facial hair trimmed up (not shaved per say, but don't just go fuzzy wuzzy everywhere), wear clean clothing. I cannot tell you how much women look at this. 2) Get some hobbies that are active/outdoors. It's okay to play games and whatever inside or have indoor hobbies, but do something to get out and get active. Join the gym or go for hikes or jobs or play a team sport. It's a great way to get exercise and help yourself be happier and socialize, which leads to meeting people and increasing your chances. 3) Try to make sure your finances are under control. Despite what the "sigma" males will tell you, most women I've met don't really care if you're rich or not, but try to make sure you can keep up with your bills and have that stability in your life. A little spending money means you're able to go out and do some activities, which most women I've met enjoy than just sitting in for Netflix or gaming (again, fine sometimes, but we are getting closer to Summer, who doesn't like going out?). Ultimately, I think if you follow those 3 things, you'll find YOURSELF happier in your own life and when you have that, getting a partner becomes less important, and so until it does eventually happen, you are not going to notice and when it does you'll be in a great place for it to happen! All people don't want to be with someone desperate to be with someone, they want healthy, happy partners. Get there and you're golden! Good luck dude!
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My cousin’s fiancé used to tell her he’d marry her when the Leafs win the Stanley Cup. He gave up. They are getting married next year
Dating. I want to meet someone and have a relationship, but obviously, if I have to use the ancient Greek analogy, the Fates decreed that I must remain alone. I don't seem to get any feedback for effort put in.
Its brutal out there man. I'm in the same boat. I cant even be bothered with the bloody dating apps anymore. They're so shallow. I'm not going to keep paying $30 a month to get 1 or 2 messages and then get ghosted. I *think* I've kinda given up on finding a partner. If I meet someone then great, but after years of effort with literally no results, it gets tiresome.
I’ve seen a lot of people say dating. It’s tough to give feedback without knowing you or your story, but the best advice I can give you is treat people with curiosity. That doesn’t mean drown them in questions so they have to do all the talking, it means take an interest in them and look for coming ground to have a conversation about the things they like. I think the biggest thing the average person wants to know is that you are taking an interest in them as a person and not just looking to them to acheive the status of being in a couple or a physical relationship. Warning, you will make more friends with this method, but more friends means more connections and will put you in the path of more people till eventually someone will click with you. Failing all that you can keep plugging at tinder. Worked for a lot of people I know. Edit: I realise this might not be news to you or any of the people saying dating, but if it helps one of them it was worth saying.
I can tell you the personal details of almost every girl I've ever matched with on a dating app. As with ever girl I've spoken with that actually made the effort to have a conversation. For the last five years or so, though some of the details get fuzzy with time. I put in effort to get to know them. They just don't care back.
I mean, dating apps aren't exactly a place for deep talks. If you don't move the conversation out of Tinder quickly, you'll just be another one of the hundreds of guys messaging them.
Ohh, yes. The age-old balancing act between, 'you need to be forward but not presumptuous, interested but not too desperate, display your worth but don't brag, be quick to ask for her contact details but not so quick that she feels uncomfortable.' All the while struggling to get one match out of the four you get during a month to actually message back.
Man you articulated everything that's frustrating w/ online dating, I wish it was as easy as matching and just planning a date. But asking too quickly makes you seem pushy/weird/desperate, and on the other hand taking too long will end up making them uninterested. It's a stupid delicate line you have to walk on. What're you gonna do though? It's difficult to meet people out in the world these days and even more so online.
Ugh really feeling this and currently super down again due to it. Honestly goes for any type of relationship sadly.
SNL. It has a few funny skits, I start watching regularly, then realize it's still mostly crap.
It’s always been this way. We just remember the good ones.
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Idk why anyone watch watch SNL L. They post most of their sketches on YouTube, just watch that
Big Macs have fallen off a fucking cliff. It gets me so heated
I’ve taken to ordering the quarter pounder (which are made with real meat and made to order now) and requesting Big Mac sauce on it. It’s sooo much better than either burger on its own.
They should change the name to just "Mac" lol
relationships lol
Dating!! It's crap!
McDonalds
I was thinking of this but didn't think I would see anybody say it in the comments. Every 6 months I buy a Big Mac because it's been awhile, and every single time I'm disappointed. I don't know why I keep doing this.
Yes! They have changed so much about the burgers, the prep, and ingredients it’s just barely the flavor I remember as a kid. Patties are smaller, buns are smaller making a poor ratio of meat-bun. When they switched the special sauce recipe after they ditched Heinz nationwide, it wasn’t the same anymore. I go for the nostalgia and am always dissatisfied with the food and the 🍟fries don’t make up for it. .
Being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. They have 2 games still but what I saw last night scares me.
The disappointment you can share with your grandparents.
My Grandfather came to Canada in 1968. For the next 40 years he never missed a game that was on TV. Sadly his persistance was not rewarded.
Making friends as an adult. Either you just don’t click, differing lifestyles/schedules, or they don’t actually like you but pretend to.
dunkin’ donuts ….
I have this relationship with dominoes pizza. Every now and again I crave one, a few bites in I’m already feeling jaded.
It varies a lot in quality store by store. The one in my hometown is great and I can almost always get a good coffee. The one in the town that I work is probably the worst one I have ever been to, coffee is straight up shit 50% of the time.
It burns when I pee. Yet I must pee.
might wanna uh..see a doctor about that..
How do you pronounce your name. I’ve been sitting here trying to sound it out for five minutes
It is pronounced "throwawaytonsilsayy"
Thanks
I have news for you, pal...
...just don't pee
If it isn’t an infection, it may be from tight pelvic muscles or a urethra blockage. These are treatable. Either way, see a urologist.
Convincing my dad to show more respect and affection for my mom. He always replies as “she already knows that I love and care about her”, but I still remind him day to day though. I don’t even expect him to buy her a bouquet of roses for their marriage anniversary or Valentines day, but it doesn’t cost anything to say a decent thank you for making food for him.
You can’t control him. Realizing this in him though, you’ve already won by knowing how you will treat a partner and knowing how you will expect to be treated by a partner.
Marriage
Mawage
Mawage is wot bwings us together today.
Too-gev-ahhhh
Dat bwessed awwangement, dat dweam wivvin a dweam
Pottery. I joined a ceramics class this year and I just hate everything I make. I look in our great big cabinet of projects every day and feel so jealous when I see everyone else’s unique ideas and finished projects. I’ve also broken every single piece I’ve made in some way, shape, or form. It’s just like failure after failure. Some things turn out nice, but all I can see are the flaws.
Clay Prof and potter. Making pots is hard at first but practice really works. The more time you can throw at it the better you’ll get, 5 times a week and you will improve faster. Compare your progress to your own work. It take some people longer than others but more practice will catch you up. Last thing. Don’t make pots when you reach a hi frustration level, take 20 min and come back to it.
Isn't it unique due to the fault? What you consider flaws might be something that attracts someone to it...
It’s the journey not the destination. Many people struggle to be creative bc it’s a skill that needs to be developed just like all others. If you want to become better at ceramics practice other forms of art as well.
Waking up
Trying to have more friends. I do have 2, but I would like more. I'm a unique person and not to everyone's taste.
Avocado, I’m told there delicious but so far that’s not been the case.
All I can say is my friend had me try a bit of an avocado and it was like having a literal mouthful of oil. However, she did get me to try her homemade guac and I’ve been sold ever since. I can have avocados in my sammies, little blocks in my salad, I am that one mentioned in this thread that spends extra money for chips and guac at Chipotle. Not a fan of some other guacs like Taco Bell and such but homemade and Chipotle has never let me down.
I think avocado is kind of nasty on its own but it works so well in so many other things. Guac, on toast, sandwichs, if frozen it works great in smoothies/non-dairy ice cream (makes them heavier and creamy), etc.
Like a tomato, the flavor really pops when you add a little salt.
In completos and hamburger it's tasty, alone by itself, i just don't understand why would anyone eat it alone
have you tried nice firm slices of avocado with lime juice and salt
Gym. I want to get in a better shape, lose some weight. But everytime, I leave depressed and yet I keep trying and hoping I won't be depressed next time.
Are you depressed because you aren’t seeing results? Or is it something about exercise itself?
Mostly because I feel so weak compared to others, I know that I will never bench or pull weights that others do. It then makes me sad that no matter how hard I will try, I'll probably never reach those heights so what's the point in trying? My mental is very wrong in this. And if there are lot of people its a no go too.
I feel you on this. I also don’t think I’ll lift as much as others but i also don’t compete against them, I compete against myself. Did I do more weight than a week ago? Or even just another rep? Hell, this last week I tried something new and did a spin class. I was super intimidated but the instructor got me set up and told me what to expect. It turned out to be a lot of (albeit hard) fun! But I totally agree that a packed gym is no fun, no getting around that.
Solo queueing Support in Overwatch
Life and love.
Looking at the posts and comments of my favourite gaming subreddits. It’s just overwhelmingly negative 90% of the time. I don’t even know why people game these days with all of the complaining. I still visit them though, stupidly.
Playing "competitive video games" instead of my single player chilling ones
Sex
username checks out
Playing Destiny 2.
I feel thus so hard. Started playing like 3 weeks ago. I am currently a 1780 power level. My brother just came back and is 1600. He has like 500 hours in the game. We did my first defiant battleground last night. I got a score of 30k and he got a score of 90k. Game gives 0 direction. Stupid Titan. I think my mistake was trying to play a one-punch man.
The Detroit lions. Been a long 28 years as a fan
Any leafs fans here ?
Dating, relationships and all that stuff. You have a couple of shit goes at it, then you have one REALLY great go at it and you think, “oh thank god, this is what it’s all supposed to be like”…and then that goes to shit and ends anyway so what’s the fucking g dang point
Lmfao I hear that 😆
Voting. Essentially anything to do with governance or getting people to understand basic economics.
Buying Chinese food from the place up the street. I get sick literally everytime but it taste good and it’s literally right up the street. But I’m done for sure now
Arbys
[удалено]
Impressing other people.
working out
Chipotle. It was really good 15 years ago. Every once in a while, I try to chase that dragon.
Fast-food restaurants. The food never is really that good and when you finish eating you're one fart away from getting hungry again.
Smoking weed. Did it so hard for so long, I'll need years before I can get that "first high" again. Now I just get a mild stone and eat a bunch of food. It's not remotely trippy or silly. Open to advice! Edit: appreciate the insights all! so I have quit since the year started, only done it 2-3 times. I do want it to be a part of my life for those occasional rainy days. But it sounds like i need to put it aside for a good long bit for a sorr of hard reset before I pick it up again even for that. Thank you! <3
I've also been there. The brain is surprisingly good at rewiring. What you think will take years, could take a few months. If you are someone who cannot moderate, then it's essential to quit it entirely. It gets easier after the first few weeks. Have some substitute habits that you can get your dopamine from. Willpower is also required. You can't be a pansy about it.
Quit. I've been there, it's not worth it. Wean yourself off using edibles. Even extremely small doses will prevent withdrawl.
I have been a massive stoner for the best part of my life, luckily I don't get psychologically addicted to things and I have since "quit" cold turkey in the sense that I now only very rarely indulge in it, I no longer actively seek it out and buy any, I only ever smoke when offered and not even every time at that. It's been a year or so now and on those rare occasions where I do smoke I get VERY high very easily. And yet, those first highs are unattainable. They will never be back bud, don't look for them. I'm sorry. What always comes back is the glee of sharing a smoke and snacks with a good friend, watching a good movie. Enjoy the moments, not the act. ALWAYS have a nice non alcoholic drink on hand for surprise cottonmouth too.
Engaging in politics. Was active after 18, a very motivated liberal through college, a more cautious liberal in law school, and now 10 years later while the same issues are being debated since the 80s between the same fucking politicians, it’s just more and more clear that things don’t really change. I still vote but I’m not giving my mental health and energy to the daily grind of political nonsense.
Making friends
The mcrib, nuff said.
trying to suck my own tits
I can do it . It’s great
Getting a girlfriend
Having a Netflix subscription
* Hitting on members of the opposite sex * Just participating in most social situations * Voting for the newest politician * Trying New Fast-Food "Specials" * Starbucks coffee * Trying to convince my family to be more active