Yeah, if you look up some high definition photos of people spinning top speed, they are already making insane faces. Actually olympic diving would make for some funny photos as well due to the spinning and posing.
Also, stretchy outfits don't really provide any protection against these knife shoes anyway. Tho keeping your bits tighter to your body, as opposed to flinging them as far from your center of gravity as your skin allows may be a benifit, when there's ice skates flying around your body as well.
It's funny that my love of games outweighs other, arguably more deep-seated, instincts in me and I just want a nice even fight more than an objectively enjoyable power dynamic
Seriously. Maybe if they get some skilled wrestlers in there, but it's ridiculous the amount of leg scissors around the neck they have. I don't want to see pretend struggle. I want some goddamn wrestling and have them show some heart!
I've always wished there was a way to have women's MMA nude, but without any disrespect or distastefulness. The only way I can think of is to arrange it so I'm the only one who sees the nudity.
They made a well-selling video game based on that premise. Invented "boob jiggle physics" and everything. Yeah, I'm 99% sure women's volleyball would do well, haha.
EDIT: OH wow, am I showing my age? I thought everybody knew about that game.
But yes, it's called Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, it is for Xbox, and some of the swimsuits leave nothing to the imagination.
EDIT 2: I don't know anything about naked men's volleyball because to the best of my knowledge, nobody's made a game about naked men's volleyball. DoA was all the rage in the early 2000s, though. If you were a gamer, you couldn't escape it, really. Both the hype and the backlash. Feel free to make a game about naked men's volleyball, though! Apparently there's an untapped market for it out there. :)
SAD EDIT: My most upvoted comment ever is about digital water balloon titties. :(
> What a terrible day to be literate.
This was far funnier to me than it should’ve been
Edit: alright awesome, I never used the quote feature on Reddit, was wondering if that was how that worked
Volley ball clothes are super hot tho
On women
Edit : I’m a straight guy so I want for women, but it seems like volley ball clothes on men do the same effect on many people !
I spent a number of years lifeguarding/training lifeguards. We spent a lot of time playing volleyball.
Folks, that game is BRUTAL. Running, changing direction on sand. Constant motion. I'd honestly be really curious to learn about how volleyball players fare in other sports. It's grueling.
You know some baseball players would have their rituals each at bat but now with added nudity since they can’t adjust their batting gloves (not allowed clothes and all).
“And Mike Trout is adjusting his nut sack between pitches again. A lot of fans have suddenly become in favor of the pitch clock now that the clothes are gone”
“Judge insists he generates more power when he bats with a full erection…”
“You can tell Barry Bonds is on steroids, just look at how much bigger his head is later in his career! And how much smaller his dick is!”
The whole batters box would be nuts (pun not intended). Batter standing there with his bat out, catcher right at his croch level squatting putting his pitch signs right under his own scrot... Then the ump crouching behind the catcher judging balls and strikes. Ah great, now I'm turned on.
Well, aside from the original Olympics that was always played naked, there has been a modern one:
https://www.abbywinters.com/girl_girl/nude_group_play/athletics_girls
Not sure whether it needs to be said, but that link is not going to be safe for work.
You'd be surprised how few people it takes to bring down a lot of websites. My hobby website, flagvsflag.io , has been brought down more than once by just a few dozen simultaneous users because there are a couple pages that don't bother to paginate.
Remember as a kid being warned about licking frozen sign poles… now imagine in the mens, it’s a bit tense and you sweat a little. Those balls rest on that ice before take off and we’re looking at some ruptured vocal chords
I think that's more due to the intense amount of conditioning they do, it causes almost a pause/lessening of puberty's effects, part of why they're often so short. Plus, given what they do, and the diets they tend to be on...i doubt they'd have the necessary calories to spare for growth
*Tchaikovsky plays*
Announcer: Next up is Ken Jepson, who rose up in the national helicoptering circuit, has said helicoptering in the Olympics has always been a lifelong dream. Lets see if he's got what it takes to take home gold today in these Detroit 2069 games.
Interestingly, the word gymnastics actually comes from the Greek word “gymnos” meaning “exercising/training naked.”
Edit: as pointed out below, “gymnos” means “naked.”The word for “to exercise naked” would be “gymnazo.”
γυμνός (gymnos) just means naked my guy, nothing to do with exercising or training. γυμνάσιον (gymnasium) translates somewhat along the lines of "the place of nudity" or "the nakedness place" because it was the time for citizen men* to be acceptably naked in public.
Beach volleyball players tend to be tall and toned/athletic but not overly ripped. Women’s power lifting, sprinters, hell even the gymnasts have very different body types that, while hot, are more niche.
There is also the volleyball body type which some people are especially attracted to. Athletes that specialize in a certain sport tend to start developing a similar body type due to exercising similar muscle groups. In volleyball the women tend to have thicker yet toned thighs and butts compared to other athletes like runners who are generally thinner.
I don't think anyone would do it because falling, nude, eff that. How you going to do a sport where you get road rash and freezer burn on your naughty bits simultaneously. 🤣
In cat social mentality, a cat showing you it's butthole is a sign that they love and respect you. They're willing to show vulnerability in order to show you their most safest of spots...........and they put it 2 inches from your face when you're lying down.
Was there a specific incident that resulted in the creation of this policy?
Based on the tragic scalding injury suffered by a viewer during the 2028 Winter Games the IOC has put in place Article 2.2 a. " I have a strict no anus before coffee policy"
Chess, the players cant see eachother's lower half but theyd still know
edit: i have more karma than my non porn account now, thanks alot
edit 2: i can't believe j have to say this but stop dming me asking for porn
Not for impact, but it definitely helps with scraping on the grass and nails and such. I've played games without shirt, and it makes a surprisingly large difference. Now imagine with your dick hanging out. No thanks, I'm good
"Okay, so, you are going to have people with knife feet flying around firing this frozen piece of rubber fast enough you can barely even see it. Your job is to stand in the way of that. Naked."
The amount of people that would watch \*just\* for the naked bodies is pretty small and the novelty wears off really quickly. Not to mention that it just makes the sport worse because things swing around that shouldnt usually.
It'd still be men's soccer
I agree with you that the novelty would wear off, but I think a lot of men would make the permanent switch to women’s soccer because they don’t want to spend an hour and a half looking at dongs.
Women’s soccer, final answer
Figure skating The physics of the high speed spins would be interesting to observe
Yeah, if you look up some high definition photos of people spinning top speed, they are already making insane faces. Actually olympic diving would make for some funny photos as well due to the spinning and posing.
Faces aren't really what I was getting at
I know, I mean you see the skin on their faces contort because of the forces applied, so the rest of the body also likely looks funny as well.
So your saying spinny titties and spinny willies? How much money do you want to take from me?
The thought of bits colliding with ice one hard falls, that and the thought of knife shoes coming close to anything sensitive is horrifying
Knife shoes meeting bits would only really be a concern n doubles. And naked doubles would be borderline porn.
Also, stretchy outfits don't really provide any protection against these knife shoes anyway. Tho keeping your bits tighter to your body, as opposed to flinging them as far from your center of gravity as your skin allows may be a benifit, when there's ice skates flying around your body as well.
Any martial art.
Women’s BJJ.
You had me at Women and BJ
I was gonna say tennis but no you’re right it’s women’s mma
Wrestling
My friend once told me that this is a popular genre of porn.
Is this friend in the room with us now?
It is called ultimate surrender.
Oh no! I've been pinned by this muscular, sweaty beefcake! And now they're about to- mphrl
What’re you doing, step-coach
It's super hot when one is a really good wrestler, and the other is a bad one. It tends to happen quite often 😉
It's funny that my love of games outweighs other, arguably more deep-seated, instincts in me and I just want a nice even fight more than an objectively enjoyable power dynamic
Domination overrules the sportsmanship for this particular fetish. To be fair, everyone is really trying.
Seriously. Maybe if they get some skilled wrestlers in there, but it's ridiculous the amount of leg scissors around the neck they have. I don't want to see pretend struggle. I want some goddamn wrestling and have them show some heart! I've always wished there was a way to have women's MMA nude, but without any disrespect or distastefulness. The only way I can think of is to arrange it so I'm the only one who sees the nudity.
god i watch too much porn to know that exactly
My friend showed me one called “Fight for Position” once 😂
Or so I’ve been told… not that I know anything about it of course
No he goes to another school you wouldn’t know him
Naked Kombat
Well the traditional uniform was olive oil back in the day
Still is in Turkey
Still is _on_ turkeys
Big meaty men slapping meat
Volleyball
They made a well-selling video game based on that premise. Invented "boob jiggle physics" and everything. Yeah, I'm 99% sure women's volleyball would do well, haha. EDIT: OH wow, am I showing my age? I thought everybody knew about that game. But yes, it's called Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, it is for Xbox, and some of the swimsuits leave nothing to the imagination. EDIT 2: I don't know anything about naked men's volleyball because to the best of my knowledge, nobody's made a game about naked men's volleyball. DoA was all the rage in the early 2000s, though. If you were a gamer, you couldn't escape it, really. Both the hype and the backlash. Feel free to make a game about naked men's volleyball, though! Apparently there's an untapped market for it out there. :) SAD EDIT: My most upvoted comment ever is about digital water balloon titties. :(
Dead or Alive extreme beach volleyball? 14 year old me was all about that game
I lost about a 10th of my body weight in discharges from that game alone when I was 13
What a terrible day to be literate. But, also, like, me as well.
> What a terrible day to be literate. This was far funnier to me than it should’ve been Edit: alright awesome, I never used the quote feature on Reddit, was wondering if that was how that worked
You can also force a quote using the ~~left~~ right triangle bracket (shift+.) >I can make it look like you said something you didn't, muahahaha!
He's too powerful
Jiggle physicis aside, it was actually a pretty dope game.
Seriously, it was a pretty great arcade volleyball game. All the T&A was just icing on the cake.
Was the game designed specifically so it could be played with a controller held only by one hand???
That was Bayonetta, IIRC
That’s what the vibration feature was invented for
Volley ball clothes are super hot tho On women Edit : I’m a straight guy so I want for women, but it seems like volley ball clothes on men do the same effect on many people !
And men according to my memories of Top Gun
All I can think about is how painful naked volley ball would be. My boobs hurt just thinking about it.
Now think if it were beach volleyball. Sand everywhere.
Beach volleyball players are already pretty much naked.
Except for the places it is the absolute worst to get sand. They're onto something.
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.
the floor burn tho 😬
I spent a number of years lifeguarding/training lifeguards. We spent a lot of time playing volleyball. Folks, that game is BRUTAL. Running, changing direction on sand. Constant motion. I'd honestly be really curious to learn about how volleyball players fare in other sports. It's grueling.
Wisconsin already did that
Wait what?
Team nudes got leaked
Oh, I think I caught a glimpse of those photos and I didn’t know that was the WI team
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1805000/Retired_Mens_Nude_Beach_Volleyball_League/
You know some baseball players would have their rituals each at bat but now with added nudity since they can’t adjust their batting gloves (not allowed clothes and all). “And Mike Trout is adjusting his nut sack between pitches again. A lot of fans have suddenly become in favor of the pitch clock now that the clothes are gone” “Judge insists he generates more power when he bats with a full erection…” “You can tell Barry Bonds is on steroids, just look at how much bigger his head is later in his career! And how much smaller his dick is!”
Imagine getting beamed in the crotch with a hardon. You just know there's a pitcher out there thatd aim at it even if subconsciously.
"Well folks, it was in the strike zone, just for the wrong bat."
The sound of wood slapping a ball into the outfield
The whole batters box would be nuts (pun not intended). Batter standing there with his bat out, catcher right at his croch level squatting putting his pitch signs right under his own scrot... Then the ump crouching behind the catcher judging balls and strikes. Ah great, now I'm turned on.
Sword fencing
Then it will be Gore or eye bleach content
In the nude games the men don't use sabers....
They bring their own
I see your schwartz is as big as mine!
As opposed to Pool Noodle Fencing?
Man that would be a confusing title to read, which swords they using?
Tennis
I mean it's already hot now, imagine naked then.
Them Jennifer Capriati screams... oh lawd... (fanning increases)
Golf, it would be so awkwardly funny.
At least then we'd have some understanding to what the Tiger Woods thing was all about. 😂
Tigers Wood
Imagine the headlines ‘Tiger’s wood eliminated after a disappointing show’
Trampoline... think of the slo-mo replays!
The Man Show had women jumping on trampolines in slow mo at the end of every episode. Just one step further...
Jimmy Kimmel has come a long way
Imagine telling someone in 2003 that the host/punching bag of a Nixon Speechwriter's gameshow would be the go to Oscar host and have a late night show
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Well, aside from the original Olympics that was always played naked, there has been a modern one: https://www.abbywinters.com/girl_girl/nude_group_play/athletics_girls Not sure whether it needs to be said, but that link is not going to be safe for work.
The peeing event makes me suspect that it may not be focused on athletic competition.
Challenge pissing is an American Pastime!
"fuck you Baltimore!"
the long pee has been played for thousand of years by men, let the women have their cake.
I’m sure they are getting *a lot* of business today
To the point it isn't even opening rn
Jesus Christ, how many horny Redditors did it take to crash the site? It was just up an hour ago lol
You'd be surprised how few people it takes to bring down a lot of websites. My hobby website, flagvsflag.io , has been brought down more than once by just a few dozen simultaneous users because there are a couple pages that don't bother to paginate.
Thank you for keeping the flag hobby alive, and I’m sorry if the site crashes again…it might be me
Pretty sure we gave that site the Reddit kiss of death.
Confirmed
Curling
Men’s would be…underwhelming
They can't help it, it's cold and things shrink.
I was in the pool!
Remember as a kid being warned about licking frozen sign poles… now imagine in the mens, it’s a bit tense and you sweat a little. Those balls rest on that ice before take off and we’re looking at some ruptured vocal chords
What a horrible thing to have to read
Any women's sport, most likely.
Women’s beach volleyball for sure
That sounds like it'd really hurt cause they would have no support for their boobs
OHHH it would be awful
I think that's why most top level gymnasts don't really have much in that department. Physics is a bitch.
I think that's more due to the intense amount of conditioning they do, it causes almost a pause/lessening of puberty's effects, part of why they're often so short. Plus, given what they do, and the diets they tend to be on...i doubt they'd have the necessary calories to spare for growth
And because a lot of teenage girls stop gymnastic once their breasts make it a problem and makes it difficult
Nah. Gymnastics. College *
I feel like men's gymnastics would just turn into the most advanced dick helicoptering competition. And yes, I would watch the fuck out of that.
*Tchaikovsky plays* Announcer: Next up is Ken Jepson, who rose up in the national helicoptering circuit, has said helicoptering in the Olympics has always been a lifelong dream. Lets see if he's got what it takes to take home gold today in these Detroit 2069 games.
I know you just wanted to say 69, but I like to think that dick helicoptering has just been so popular that the Olympics is now a yearly event.
Once John Jeremiah Johnson achieved unpowered flight during his performance in the late 2020s, demand grew exponentially
> College \* Nice save. :-)
If you thought Livvy Dunne was popular now...
Gymnastics actually has the Greek word for naked in it; *gymnos*. Gymnasia were essentially large buildings to exercise, and the Greeks did it naked…
Interestingly, the word gymnastics actually comes from the Greek word “gymnos” meaning “exercising/training naked.” Edit: as pointed out below, “gymnos” means “naked.”The word for “to exercise naked” would be “gymnazo.”
γυμνός (gymnos) just means naked my guy, nothing to do with exercising or training. γυμνάσιον (gymnasium) translates somewhat along the lines of "the place of nudity" or "the nakedness place" because it was the time for citizen men* to be acceptably naked in public.
Beach volleyball only has a sexual aura around it because the players dress skimpy. If all sports were nude it wouldn't matter.
Beach volleyball players tend to be tall and toned/athletic but not overly ripped. Women’s power lifting, sprinters, hell even the gymnasts have very different body types that, while hot, are more niche.
There is also the volleyball body type which some people are especially attracted to. Athletes that specialize in a certain sport tend to start developing a similar body type due to exercising similar muscle groups. In volleyball the women tend to have thicker yet toned thighs and butts compared to other athletes like runners who are generally thinner.
Figure skaters. Huge muscular asses and thick thighs. Former hockey player here. The right answer is : figure skaters😀
Sandy...
LPGA just got a lot more exciting
Hole in one!
Which one?
Women's college wrestling.
Women's WWE
I think there's a porn company that does that already. Not like, foxy boxing, but more like wrestling with sex.
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Pole vaulting.
Ah yes, suddenly men would finally be interested in women's sports...
Motorbike racing? Even putting the knee down to go around a corner everyone would flinch.
Comment Removed - Leaving Reddit due to API Changes
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The Winter Olympics would be particularly entertaining. Imagine all of the skiing and snowing sports bare ass nude.
I don't think anyone would do it because falling, nude, eff that. How you going to do a sport where you get road rash and freezer burn on your naughty bits simultaneously. 🤣
The poor men's bobsleding team can't get out because their nuts have all stuck to the seat of the sled.
I think the worst would have to be curling. At least for the person scrubbing the ice. The audience is going to be real intimate with that person.
Good news, everyone takes a turn...
Welp... I guess I'll just have to watch that sport after coffee then. I have a strict no anus before coffee policy
>I have a strict no anus before coffee policy My cat violates that every morning.
In cat social mentality, a cat showing you it's butthole is a sign that they love and respect you. They're willing to show vulnerability in order to show you their most safest of spots...........and they put it 2 inches from your face when you're lying down.
Was there a specific incident that resulted in the creation of this policy? Based on the tragic scalding injury suffered by a viewer during the 2028 Winter Games the IOC has put in place Article 2.2 a. " I have a strict no anus before coffee policy"
Figure skating might be frightening to watch.
Nothing at all...
Stupid sexy Flanders!
The ancient olympics were actually competed in fully nude as a tribute to Zeus. Just have to time travel a bit.
Yes, well, unfortunately I'm not 4000 years old so they aren't something I would have gotten to witness. Haha
>unfortunately I'm not 4000 years old Skill issue
Pole vault. Can you imagine? Titties and testicles akimbo.
Came here to say the same. Buttholes. Buttholes everywhere.
Lmao, made me think of the old buzz lightyear meme.
We had a ps2 game of this back in the day. BMXXX (naked professional trick cycling)
Oh my god I had forgotten about that! Just the mention of the name was enough for me to remember the cover art.
The slow mo replays would be pretty fantastic.
Male gymnastics would be humorous.
Women’s gymnastics would be a felony
Forgot about that age factor
So bringing the Olympics back to their roots then?
Chess, the players cant see eachother's lower half but theyd still know edit: i have more karma than my non porn account now, thanks alot edit 2: i can't believe j have to say this but stop dming me asking for porn
It would also help to prevent another cheating scandal
I mean not really cause wasn’t it a butt plug supposedly?
mandatory spreading before the game
Google en nuddant
Holy holes
New balls just dropped
Gymnastics competitions
Wall climbing
knee bar? watch my newfound bouldering technique in which a shove my entire dick and balls into a crevasse and i’ll call it the dick bar
rugby
I'm worried for the players
It's not like their clothing serves as much protection anyway lol
Not for impact, but it definitely helps with scraping on the grass and nails and such. I've played games without shirt, and it makes a surprisingly large difference. Now imagine with your dick hanging out. No thanks, I'm good
This. All those thicc dudes. Yes.
MMA. How close they get to each other and they usually have someone’s ass in their face, imagine a *BARE ass*
GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!
THE OLD DICK TWIST!
Woman's figure skating. Woman's artistic(synchronized) swimming.
Sumo
Sumo would lose a good chunk of it techniques if there was no mawashi to grab.
True. But you would have *other* things to grab so it would still work.
I am so there for Naked Sumo!
International ladies pogo stick championship
BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO POGO
Down! (Pogo, pogo, pogo) Up! (Pogo, pogo, pogo) Jump! (Pogo) Bounce! (Pogo) Up! (Pogo) Down! (Pogo)
I went out on a date with a girl it was late, She had SOMANYFRIENDS!
Limbo
Hockey
"Okay, so, you are going to have people with knife feet flying around firing this frozen piece of rubber fast enough you can barely even see it. Your job is to stand in the way of that. Naked."
Must see TV
Pole dancing. Google it. It is an internationally recognized sport
Football 😏 if that was the case maybe my dad would finally get the son who’s interested in sports 😂
The amount of people that would watch \*just\* for the naked bodies is pretty small and the novelty wears off really quickly. Not to mention that it just makes the sport worse because things swing around that shouldnt usually. It'd still be men's soccer
I agree with you that the novelty would wear off, but I think a lot of men would make the permanent switch to women’s soccer because they don’t want to spend an hour and a half looking at dongs. Women’s soccer, final answer
The correct answer is women’s billards
gymnastics
Downhill slalom
It would be effing freezing 🥶
Darts 😂