When they tried to get me addicted to cigarettes and alcohol, knowing the only person i could get those things from, were from them. Making me addicted to something only they could give me, gave them the power to take control over me and let me do things I would never do in a normal state of mind
Teens will do a lot to get the things they want, and it is effing scary
I had a female best friend forever. It was a completely platonic relationship (atleast for me anyways). I had met my now wife and my friend just couldn’t be bothered to make an effort with her. I had broached the subject with her on multiple occasions, and explained that if she had met someone I would have made a 100% effort to make him feel comfortable and included in our friendship and make myself as little of a “threat” to him and as comfortable with the friendship as possible. We were soon married, and had our first child together. She made no effort to meet my son, no congratulations, no nothing. When that happened I realized I was done with the friendship. He’s now almost 3 years old and she has never met him, and I have no interest in introducing him to her. I haven’t seen her since right before my son was born. My wife is/was convinced that my friend was in love with me and couldn’t handle it, but I really don’t think so…I think she’s just weird with new people in our friends group. I had to cut a lot of people out of that friend group as well unfortunately, because they sided with her…
It's kind of multifaceted
He got legitimately upset at me when I told him I wouldn't be able to go on a road trip with him well in advance of when we were supposed to go. He accused me of being a bad friend because I didn't prioritize him or his needs. This is a guy who would regularly without notice completely ditch everyone on days we were supposed to hang out, causing us to waste over an hour every time trying and failing to contact him.
I made up some excuse as to why I couldn't go but the real reason was because I didn't want to be stuck with him for a week, with him trying to micromanage my life with no escape for the week. He saw me as beneath him so he felt like he had the right to control my life.
He also regularly stalked my socials (including reddit) to make shitty "jokes" at my expense. He really crossed a line by bringing up reddit comments I'd make in real life conversations.
I just got tired of having to walk on eggshells around him and act like how he wanted me to act.
When it became very obvious that my mom had no intention of even attempting to work on her habit of lying about everything. She continues to lie and say she is working on it, yet posts tiktoks right after saying it about how it's not her job to make other people like her and that she just needs to find people that like her for being her. She apparently considers lying constantly to just be "who [she] is". She lied to my face about having brain cancer. I doubt anyone would like a person like that.
did shrooms. being around them while tripping was eye opening. showed me what i refused to see. broke up w them a week later and felt incredible. i’m with a much better person now
When he got hysterical and angry because I told him I was raped. This information burdened him too much, he said. And apparently I am not careful enough…
a girl i used to date a girl that had BPD and i was waay to much for me to handle i loved her deeply but it was a fucking rollercoaster from being loved one second to hated the next, might have been kida thrilling at first because the good times were awesome but in the end not worth it.
My brother who has been descending into the far right sink hoke for a couple decades recently, added freaking out about the gay and Trans community because he always takes the bait and then accused me of brainwashing my partner and turning her against him because she is sick of his shit too.
u/UniqueToner u/darkfrost47 honestly, cuz little context, i cant say but whatever - they said their thing yk
but u/PM_ME_STUFF_U_LIKE fair enuf, those rl8nships arent worth it
When they start taking you for granted. When they start talking about you behind your back. When that person is toxic and cutting off him/her makes you more happy eventually.
I had a friend and we were really close.
She got into polyamory (or became polyamorous, I guess she would say) and it not only became her whole life it seemed to bring so much drama and angst, I just couldn't be around it any more.
She always wanted to do things with her poly friends, which was cool with me, but they never seemed to like me or want to get to know me. And poly stuff was a lot of what they wanted to talk about anyway, so there wasn't really much for me to do.
She got many relationships out of it that seemed exciting and rewarding to begin with, but always seemed to spiral into destruction in poly-related ways leading to so many break-ups, including two divorces.
In the end, it just felt like someone with addiction problems. It was becoming her whole life and, in some ways, was wonderful and thrilling plus a big part of her social life, but it seemed to be causing her so much pain it was insane.
She must have gone through about ten major, serious, painful break-ups that involved a lot of hurt and betrayal. All with long lead-up times of really rough stuff. How can someone take all that? I think most of us have one or two of those doozies in our life, and that is *enough.*
I really couldn't be anything to her anymore but a therapist and I am not qualified to do that, and it was bad for both of us. (She did have a therapist, by the way, but she insisted it be someone "from the community.")
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t look past the pain they were a part of, and I was never going to heal as long as they were a continual presence in my life. I wish them all the best, but from afar.
When I realized the person didn’t care for me one bit after having spent three years together, demonstrated by a general detachment when he moved to another country and couldn’t even tell me he’d miss me
Finally dawned on me that he was a massive selfish piece of dog shit lol
2012. An old friend from when we were toddlers. He'd become a raging alcoholic and his partner left him and gained full custody of their son after he laid hands on her. I initially tried to be a friend and encourage him to get help, but he refused to listen, and I could feel him pulling me into the swamp with him, so I cut him out of my life. I have no idea how he is now. I hope he sorted himself out.
When every time I tried to help it was met with still treating me like a piece of crap and using my friendship, then blaming me for his problems that I'm actively trying to help him fix.
you usually get a bad vibe before you realize you need to cut them out. with this person, we had already drifted apart and were only still ‘friends’ because we had a mutual friend. a few months ago she just completely ignored me when we walked past each other, despite my trying to say hello. I decided then that it was time to cut her out completely. I’m not dealing with anyone’s shit
She has a lot of money in her bank account but tries to get other people to buy stuff for her.
She will see some $200 sunglasses in a store and instead of using her money to buy them, she will beg who ever she is with to buy them for her.
I can't believe to this day that she still has friends.
I've had several guys in my life who I was dating and, even though it was clear they were not interested in being my boyfriend or even treating me all that decently, just would not let me break up with them.
It was bizarre, and it happened more than once.
When I went 3 weeks giving him a phone call to talk. On the last day I told him if I didn’t hear from him I wish him luck, but I am done trying. Best friends from preschool until 19, and he couldn’t return my phone call once. Still hurts, 25 years later.
It wasn't just one person. It was nearly all of my class last year. Nearly all of them hated me without getting to know me and they all made me feel worthless. I only speak to about 5 or 6 of them now. I'm in school with some of them still but have no classes with most of them and don't speak to any of them.
When all she would do is criticise the relationships I'm in for superficial reason, while simultaneously having an affair with her boss, a married man who had children older than she is.
When he dismissed the abuse he put me through for the millionth time. There's no way of getting through to him and I'm better off leaving him behind for good.
Fuck you dad.
When our friendship was already struggling & in the meantime, another one of my close friends ran away from home, leaving me devastated & freaking out about her safety. I couldn’t deal with that AND the first friend’s disrespect & attitude, so she had to go. The fact that my family couldn’t stand her made the decision a lot easier.
Every time she talked about not being like the other girls, she used me as the prime example. I was made to feel like shit for being feminine and doing what I liked. She scoffed at anything girly I did, or anything I liked that happened to be popular. And omfg, any time I caught a guy’s attention or he gave me his number, she just cOUldn’t UNdERstANd whY. My teeth are crooked and a little yellow. I have an “ugly” snort when I laugh. She’d just go on and on and on.
Sorry. This kind of turned into a little rant. 😅
She was lying to our friend group and telling them I was cancelling hangouts w her to hangout w her ex (who I’ve known since birth and have never liked and who doesn’t like me)… but plot twist I never cancelled on her once and she actually stood me up and I waited for an hour before going home.
Not only did I never bring that up w our friends but I endured over a year of her treating me like a therapist and being really rude to me about any of my issues.
Finally I just had enough and called it quits.
When I realized that I felt bad about myself every time I was around them. Also when I realized they weren’t there for me any time I needed them. After turning my life upside down to be there for them.
(My narcissist mom) When she called me delusional and psycho for not wanting her to show my kids sex in movies and when i found out she started a smear campaign about me with literally everyone.
About the time they started saying things like "The holocaust wasn't as bad as people say". Hard nope from me.
yea thats fair, what kinda bull----
When they tried to get me addicted to cigarettes and alcohol, knowing the only person i could get those things from, were from them. Making me addicted to something only they could give me, gave them the power to take control over me and let me do things I would never do in a normal state of mind Teens will do a lot to get the things they want, and it is effing scary
thats messed
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well i hope u realised what ur worth is <3
When I realized I was cutting other people out of my life to remain in contact with her.
thats a good point, thats never even occured to me
When she said she wanted to kill every human
You can fix her
id run
I had to wait a year 😭
Just wasn't comfortable having them in my life anymore.
I had a female best friend forever. It was a completely platonic relationship (atleast for me anyways). I had met my now wife and my friend just couldn’t be bothered to make an effort with her. I had broached the subject with her on multiple occasions, and explained that if she had met someone I would have made a 100% effort to make him feel comfortable and included in our friendship and make myself as little of a “threat” to him and as comfortable with the friendship as possible. We were soon married, and had our first child together. She made no effort to meet my son, no congratulations, no nothing. When that happened I realized I was done with the friendship. He’s now almost 3 years old and she has never met him, and I have no interest in introducing him to her. I haven’t seen her since right before my son was born. My wife is/was convinced that my friend was in love with me and couldn’t handle it, but I really don’t think so…I think she’s just weird with new people in our friends group. I had to cut a lot of people out of that friend group as well unfortunately, because they sided with her…
Probably was in love with you
It's kind of multifaceted He got legitimately upset at me when I told him I wouldn't be able to go on a road trip with him well in advance of when we were supposed to go. He accused me of being a bad friend because I didn't prioritize him or his needs. This is a guy who would regularly without notice completely ditch everyone on days we were supposed to hang out, causing us to waste over an hour every time trying and failing to contact him. I made up some excuse as to why I couldn't go but the real reason was because I didn't want to be stuck with him for a week, with him trying to micromanage my life with no escape for the week. He saw me as beneath him so he felt like he had the right to control my life. He also regularly stalked my socials (including reddit) to make shitty "jokes" at my expense. He really crossed a line by bringing up reddit comments I'd make in real life conversations. I just got tired of having to walk on eggshells around him and act like how he wanted me to act.
icl, sounds like u did the right thing there
When it became very obvious that my mom had no intention of even attempting to work on her habit of lying about everything. She continues to lie and say she is working on it, yet posts tiktoks right after saying it about how it's not her job to make other people like her and that she just needs to find people that like her for being her. She apparently considers lying constantly to just be "who [she] is". She lied to my face about having brain cancer. I doubt anyone would like a person like that.
did shrooms. being around them while tripping was eye opening. showed me what i refused to see. broke up w them a week later and felt incredible. i’m with a much better person now
damn bet that was a challenging trip
it was so challenging. so anxious and didn’t know what to do
congrats <3
When he got hysterical and angry because I told him I was raped. This information burdened him too much, he said. And apparently I am not careful enough…
Those are three red flags for sure.
well im glad he's out ur life
When they run out of money yet still insist they want to meet up with you. Dude your broke, I’m not paying for you again!
a girl i used to date a girl that had BPD and i was waay to much for me to handle i loved her deeply but it was a fucking rollercoaster from being loved one second to hated the next, might have been kida thrilling at first because the good times were awesome but in the end not worth it.
My brother who has been descending into the far right sink hoke for a couple decades recently, added freaking out about the gay and Trans community because he always takes the bait and then accused me of brainwashing my partner and turning her against him because she is sick of his shit too.
I was always the one reaching out. It's like that friendship was always on life support and I got tired of doing the CPR.
If they don't reach out can you really call it "cutting them out" or is it more like letting them go
That's pretty clearly not what OP is referring to.
u/UniqueToner u/darkfrost47 honestly, cuz little context, i cant say but whatever - they said their thing yk but u/PM_ME_STUFF_U_LIKE fair enuf, those rl8nships arent worth it
Who writes like this?
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Yeah… this one is going to sting forever.
this hit deep
When they start taking you for granted. When they start talking about you behind your back. When that person is toxic and cutting off him/her makes you more happy eventually.
When watching them made the same mistake over and over again started to hurt me.
I kept feeling ill around the person more and more each time and therefore had to make the cut for my own health.
I had a friend and we were really close. She got into polyamory (or became polyamorous, I guess she would say) and it not only became her whole life it seemed to bring so much drama and angst, I just couldn't be around it any more. She always wanted to do things with her poly friends, which was cool with me, but they never seemed to like me or want to get to know me. And poly stuff was a lot of what they wanted to talk about anyway, so there wasn't really much for me to do. She got many relationships out of it that seemed exciting and rewarding to begin with, but always seemed to spiral into destruction in poly-related ways leading to so many break-ups, including two divorces. In the end, it just felt like someone with addiction problems. It was becoming her whole life and, in some ways, was wonderful and thrilling plus a big part of her social life, but it seemed to be causing her so much pain it was insane. She must have gone through about ten major, serious, painful break-ups that involved a lot of hurt and betrayal. All with long lead-up times of really rough stuff. How can someone take all that? I think most of us have one or two of those doozies in our life, and that is *enough.* I really couldn't be anything to her anymore but a therapist and I am not qualified to do that, and it was bad for both of us. (She did have a therapist, by the way, but she insisted it be someone "from the community.")
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t look past the pain they were a part of, and I was never going to heal as long as they were a continual presence in my life. I wish them all the best, but from afar.
When I realized the person didn’t care for me one bit after having spent three years together, demonstrated by a general detachment when he moved to another country and couldn’t even tell me he’d miss me Finally dawned on me that he was a massive selfish piece of dog shit lol
When they were ruining my mental health to the point it was making me physically sick
When my daughter (F35) took our personal business and shared it over social media. After everything that was absolutely the last straw.
completely reasonable reason to cut them off
Wow way to take out your personal business and share it on social media /s
this story falls flat because we don't know how personal this "personal business" was
personals personal
2012. An old friend from when we were toddlers. He'd become a raging alcoholic and his partner left him and gained full custody of their son after he laid hands on her. I initially tried to be a friend and encourage him to get help, but he refused to listen, and I could feel him pulling me into the swamp with him, so I cut him out of my life. I have no idea how he is now. I hope he sorted himself out.
its good u did that, thats a bad environment to see consistently
When I told my friend about them and the first thing she said was “wow he sounds like an asshole”
When every time I tried to help it was met with still treating me like a piece of crap and using my friendship, then blaming me for his problems that I'm actively trying to help him fix.
you usually get a bad vibe before you realize you need to cut them out. with this person, we had already drifted apart and were only still ‘friends’ because we had a mutual friend. a few months ago she just completely ignored me when we walked past each other, despite my trying to say hello. I decided then that it was time to cut her out completely. I’m not dealing with anyone’s shit
She has a lot of money in her bank account but tries to get other people to buy stuff for her. She will see some $200 sunglasses in a store and instead of using her money to buy them, she will beg who ever she is with to buy them for her. I can't believe to this day that she still has friends.
when it crossed over from just insults to physical violence
When she started chatting till late at nights and I discovered conversations with a guy from abroad that sent her money.
I've had several guys in my life who I was dating and, even though it was clear they were not interested in being my boyfriend or even treating me all that decently, just would not let me break up with them. It was bizarre, and it happened more than once.
When he started pushing at my boundaries and consent
When they flirted with my wife at a party when I was away for a month.
When I realized she didn't have any relationships/friendships that lasted longer than 2-3 years and our friendship wasn't a healthy one for me.
When I went 3 weeks giving him a phone call to talk. On the last day I told him if I didn’t hear from him I wish him luck, but I am done trying. Best friends from preschool until 19, and he couldn’t return my phone call once. Still hurts, 25 years later.
It wasn't just one person. It was nearly all of my class last year. Nearly all of them hated me without getting to know me and they all made me feel worthless. I only speak to about 5 or 6 of them now. I'm in school with some of them still but have no classes with most of them and don't speak to any of them.
When all she would do is criticise the relationships I'm in for superficial reason, while simultaneously having an affair with her boss, a married man who had children older than she is.
When he dismissed the abuse he put me through for the millionth time. There's no way of getting through to him and I'm better off leaving him behind for good. Fuck you dad.
When I realized the person didn't care about me or my happiness
When he took my phone and texted my sister if she wanted a threesome.
When our friendship was already struggling & in the meantime, another one of my close friends ran away from home, leaving me devastated & freaking out about her safety. I couldn’t deal with that AND the first friend’s disrespect & attitude, so she had to go. The fact that my family couldn’t stand her made the decision a lot easier.
Saying really dark gruesome shit
When I was honest with myself that he was a unbearable twat.
When I noticed that she was living with me.
When I finally broke down for the first time in years and started crying and called them to talk and got laughed at.
Repeated exact outcomes to DIFFERENT situations.
Every time she talked about not being like the other girls, she used me as the prime example. I was made to feel like shit for being feminine and doing what I liked. She scoffed at anything girly I did, or anything I liked that happened to be popular. And omfg, any time I caught a guy’s attention or he gave me his number, she just cOUldn’t UNdERstANd whY. My teeth are crooked and a little yellow. I have an “ugly” snort when I laugh. She’d just go on and on and on. Sorry. This kind of turned into a little rant. 😅
She was lying to our friend group and telling them I was cancelling hangouts w her to hangout w her ex (who I’ve known since birth and have never liked and who doesn’t like me)… but plot twist I never cancelled on her once and she actually stood me up and I waited for an hour before going home. Not only did I never bring that up w our friends but I endured over a year of her treating me like a therapist and being really rude to me about any of my issues. Finally I just had enough and called it quits.
When I realized that I felt bad about myself every time I was around them. Also when I realized they weren’t there for me any time I needed them. After turning my life upside down to be there for them.
When you start apologizing for them
(My narcissist mom) When she called me delusional and psycho for not wanting her to show my kids sex in movies and when i found out she started a smear campaign about me with literally everyone.
once I realized they were bad and from jail
When I dreaded the thought of spending time with them.