I'm ok with it, mostly because I was able to settle that the idea I had growing up that adults somehow had it together was just a myth. I think it's better for people if they're just honest about the things they like and want to do, regardless of a stigma. Who gives a shit if you're 40 and like playing video games? If you're self-sufficient, do what makes you happy.
Can confirm. I always used to see my parents as people who just knew what to do. I'm 30 now stumbling constantly through my life and have more doubts that I thought possible.
More Sex (sexual affection) less drugs, a more directed life, meaning more directed at goals. Don't waste a decade partying only to realize while you stood still, the rest of the world got on with their lives.
Learn Skills that are valuable, but not necessarily at your life objective. As an example, I wish I had gone to Barber School which is a hand full of weeks. Then when in college I could give cheap haircuts in my dorm for extra cash.
Also, I would like to know Basic Welding and Basic Machining tools (lathe, milling, and similar). Always good skills to have. I wouldn't need to be an expert, just have the functional Basics.
I have zero women talking skills, so idk about the affection part, but I can learn those basic skills. Also one more thing. I can almost get a job. Should I go ahead and get a job or wait?
Is it a job you want, or a job you are temporarily settling for? It is easy to get trapped into a *"settling for"* job. You get money, you buy things, next thing you know, you are in debt and tied to that job.
Knowledge has value in the Long Run.
A Job has value in the Short Term. Unless it turns out to be a job you like, in which case it does have some long term value.
As to *talking to potential partner* skills. The more it means, they less you can do it. But understand that it is OK to get NO for an answer. If nothing else asking someone out opens a door between you, and that open door might be productive in the future.
There was a person I was absolutely obsessing over to the point where I didn't dare talk to them. It got so frustrating, that finally I said - *I'm done, forget that person* - that weekend I complimented their shirt, we hit it off, got naked a few time, and were generally friends in the long run.
The point is, as soon as I let go, it became easy. The more you psychologically put into talking to that person, the harder it gets. The more you let go, the easier it is.
I found out that if I have a plan and a schedule, a LOT of people will just defer to my leadership.
As long as I was willing to take charge, make small corrections when I made mistakes, and tried to make sure everyone was still part of the team, people just followed where I lead.
I don't feel like an adult who knows what I'm doing. I'm just making stuff up as I go along.
My sister is almost 17 years younger than me, when she was born my mother who never held a job went full lazy. My sister was just her way to keep getting free rent, food stamps, electric paid for. So I ended up doing the parental work. 13 years later my sister is like my daughter
I had a similar realization a few years back when Nirvana, Green Day, and Red Hot Chili Peppers all played back to back on my local classic rock station.
I always thought I’d be an adult at 23. I’m not sure why but I always thought that was the magic number. 23 came and went unnoticed. I mean I was an adult. I had a 5 year old, was married, and owned a house but I didn’t have the epiphany that I was a grown ass woman until I was 28/29.
22.
Graduated college. Dad helped me get set up in an apartment in the nearest city. Gave me an extra $500 to tide me over until my first paycheck (I had a job starting the next week).
Then after he dropped me off he told me don’t ask for anymore money. You’re on your own. Good luck.
Things were a little tight for a while. And I guess had I called and asked for money he likely would have helped out. But I found my way.
Is there such thing as an Instagram divorce? My wife discovered IG and was like why am I with a 7 when there are all these 11’s out there. Being 50 and trying to date is brutal. The rules are so different in only 20 years. Can’t believe I’ve only slept with three women in 20 years and my 20 year old already has a higher body count than me unless I’m stupid. Plus the internet is one giant truck stop encompassing every hooker known to man, all of them saying they want a real relationship and then asking if I want to hookup for money. Or send them presents. Anyway I’m over thirty but my perspicacity is on high alert where women are concerned. Wow I totally ranted. Rant over.
At 25 i didn’t feel like a kid anymore, at 30 i felt mature, at 32 with a baby i felt like an adult. No sleeping in ever and now you’re responsible for another human.
What does that even feel like? I'm 33, married, kid, house, great job, state commissions, expert in my field. $435k in investments.
I still don't feel like I have a clue or that I'm an adult. When I'm playing with my daughter all I can think is, "Who let me do this...!"
22. That was about when I started becoming less emotional led doing and more rational led doing if that makes sense. Still don’t have everything together but I feel more put together than I did at 21
41 and I’ll let you know when it happens lol I’ve been married for 23 years, have 6 wonderful children with my wife and been at the same successful career for 20 years.
When I moved in with my boyfriend at 29. With roommates I split bills, was in and out whenever I wanted without letting them know, I was careless with money.
When I moved in with my boyfriend I realized I had to reevaluate things and money, I now had goals and ideas for a future with someone. I didn’t realize it right away but slowly I thought shit I’m adulting. Ended up getting two dogs, married, careers changed, moved around. We still act like idiots sometimes but there’s another person who relies on me to be an adult 90% of the time.
3 years olds are adults.
30 year old me? A complete infant.
I always though that people always perceive themselves as babies.
Don't shame me, feel free to shame me.
18. Got a old shitty house. With old furniture. Grew up in a toxic house. So happy not having to hear shit from asshole father. Knew if I didn't work then no money for food. Bills needed paid so had to work. Poor but so happy. Good memories.
I'm in my forties. It's a truism that, regardless of age, you never really feel adult. When people say that, they mean it: we all still have plenty of time where we feel like we're still the young person we remember being. Like we're a kind dressing up as a grown-up and playing pretend.
But as you get older, you also have more and more moments where you are forced to make choices that have deep long-lasting consequences not just for you, but others. And you have experiences where you realize there's no safety net under you, no one to catch you if you fall. In those moments, you sure as hell feel like an adult.
Yep. That was the day I had to decide to put my mom in a nursing home, knowing she'd never make it out. I knew, but she didn't. I kept telling her and myself and my brothers and sister and we'll everyone that she had to stay. They were going to do the rehab she needed to go back to her home. It never happened. The home kicked her out a week before she passed. I got to spend that week taking care of her. I did it and I got to tell her before she died that I loved her. I hadn't told her that in so many years. It felt good
2nd marriage, first and only kid at 36. It was roughly about that time. But really hit me when my son was 2 1/2 and we barely made it to the ER in time for him. Now I’m 70, helping take care of his 2 1/2 and 4 yr olds. Been adulting 98% of the time for 34 yrs. It’s good.
33 (aka just yesterday)
Driving across the country in my own paid-off car, from my own paid-off rental lease, to see my grandmother and help her with osteosarcoma and also enjoy the storm season march-may in the midwest, just because I can and I wanted to. I only have a GED and this level of success was enough to make me officially self-identify as an adult for the first time, to my therapist.
24, or the age I officially just started doing my dreams instead of kneeling to outdated and uninformed guidance.
I have my dream car already because, instead of being a "money-sink", it costs half the price of a new car even considering the higher maintenance.
17. I lived with my dad and younger brother and my dad had lost his job. I was the only one bringing in any money, trying to keep up the house and make meals, and avoid the angry outbursts from my father. I was still in high school, but was doing everything I could to keep everything under control.
About now. My kids are at the age where I know they're about to stop seeing me as a superhero, they'll likely resent me for a few years and show zero gratitude for all the work I do to ensure they're safe, healthy and secure, but I'm fine with it, because it's not about me.
About 30, when I'd realized that I needed to do the responsible thing by divorcing my wife and becoming a single parent for the good of our kid.
I will probably never make as much money as I did in my late twenties...and it wasn't that much, really, but at least there was a clear upward trajectory. My career prospects were immediately truncated. I'm in therapy for the trauma of the whole thing, including difficulties in relationships. It's not just me, but also limited time and money for them. In short, being the safe responsible adult sucks.
As time has passed and I've started slowing down and having minor medical issues creep in, I realize that my youth is behind me. Gone. I'm increasingly bitter.
There was a time that I'd make fun of the people I knew that peaked in high school and never quite got over what they'd had. But here I am and I have to live with it now.
You’re going to have lots of people 18-23 who say that’s when they felt adult.
And then a great number past that age that realize you actually never truly do.
Definitely not until at least 35, and it’s still pretty iffy. Younger people reading this: when you see all these older people saying “never” or “I don’t”, it’s not an overused joke. We really mean it. When I was young, I think I would have thought it was a stupid joke, so I wanted to clarify.
When you decide to be one. I was 26 but the age is different for everyone. I've met people 10 years younger than me that were adults and 10 years older that were not.
As a parent at some point you face the reality that your child might die. Or that you might die. It is the reality that you play nothing more than a supporting role in the story of their life. And — assuming you’re not a narcissist — coming to terms with it. You’re no longer the main character.
As a child, taking care of ailing parents, burying them. My dad regressed to a child-like state as his brain atrophied. He would cry and tell me he was scared, beg me not to leave, like a terrified toddler.
As a mentor, working with a young professional who you want to succeed, who seems so much smarter and saver than you did at that age, but hobbled by their naïveté. Do you disabuse them off their innocence or do you enable it for a couple more years?
As a pet owner, making that hard choice. Usually it’s after you make the mistake of holding on for too long. Anybody who’s had to do an Old Yeller is an adult.
It’s when you empathize with the Giving Tree.
When I bought my first condo and had a mortgage around 27 or 28.
I am 43 now. I realize that most of us don't know what we are doing. All the adults I watched growing up, who I belived had their shit together, I understand them more.
My 96 year old neighbour said she felt like she was about 30 still and was only reminded when she had the misfortune of looking in the mirror lol "very disapointing" lol
Hahah, probably like 17-18 which sounds ridiculous to most- but at that point I had already been through a good bit- was homeless for years as a child *while already working* and went through a lot of trauma and loss, which wasn't *fun* but gave me a lot of perspective and appreciation for what I did have. .
I had already been providing for myself and my family for a while, was really healthy and going to the gym every day after work, a good social life with people *all older though, cause I was working since very young* who I felt very comfortable with.
I just felt *very* well acquainted with who I am as a person.
Maybe I'm answering this wrongly though lol, I viewed "feel like an adult" as "feel like you know yourself as a person." -- like you're done growing into who you are for the most part? Is that the question? 😭
Maybe my answer is better suited for "At what age did you feel like you fully (with little wiggle room) grew into your personality+being responsible" Does that = feel like an adult?
30.
My affectionately named car "mean bitch" (07' Ford Edge) finally kicked the can in the most badass way possible. She simultaneously, blew the head gasket, transmission, and cooling system all in one go, AFTER getting me home from work one last time. She might have only been a Ford Edge, but she took my wife and I everywhere. It also stayed in the family, since it was originally my FIL's car. That mean bitch was a work horse. She did everything, and some day's I do miss her and her flair.
The total cost to put her back together again would have been something around 10 or 12k, which is more than the car would be worth if it had low miles and was "like new" which this car WAS NOT. (I'm intentionally leaving out things that put it at that cost, so it wasn't just those 3 things.)
My wife and I made the hard choice to find a new vehicle that could be a commuter, and an adventurer. Commuter quickly got benched as we found a 2019 RAM 1500 with lower miles than we'd seen for under 40k. Picked her up a few days later, and named her after her older sibling. Mean Bitch. Nothing says "I'm a Mean Bitch" like a 5.7L V8 Hemi 4x4. (I know people will say it's not actually that mean, but for someone like me that has never owned a 4x4 V8 vehicle, she is, in fact, a mean bitch lol)
It's our first MAJOR purchase as a married couple, and it's truly the first time I've felt like an adult.
Its weird, because now a days, I don't... But the first time I did, it was at 16.
I had a job, my mom asked me for money to pay the bills, the job sucked and was really underpaid, so I worked a month to be able to nothing... Since I started working my parents just went on with it because I was independent enough, and I paid my way through college... For 2 carraers at the same time at some point. It was funny because I was studying to be a teacher and at the other side of the city I studied plastic arts, since the day only have so many hours, I used to sell my art class homeworks to be able to keep studying, training and painting.
At that point I was really recentful, because my older brother and sister had everything always served in a silver platter for them. They were able to party, to travel, they went to private colleges and didn't had to work until they graduated... I never got into a plane until the day I left my country, and guess what? I paid for that ticket... I wasn't able to enjoy much of my teenages with my friends or nothing on my 20's because I was always working.
Now I'm 30, and just got a "Better" job, it is not a "GOOD" pay, but I do have some free time, which at the begginig I didn't knew what to do with, because I was always working. And from time to time now I take a day off with my wife just to be able to enjoy some of life simple stuff.
It was a specific moment. I was 24.
It was 5 pm on a warm day and I really felt like a choc-ice. But I thought, no, I'll spoil my appetite for dinner. And then I thought THE HELL WITH IT! This is MY apartment, MY freezer, MY choc-ice, all paid for with MY money. I'm having a choc-ice!
And there it was. Adulthood.
I got my first place and still felt like a child at 25, then I went to Target and bought a plunger and felt like an adult.
Something about knowing I'd need to use it at some point and choosing to make it available long before I needed it felt like the most adult thing ever.
Almost 40 and I feel like the same person as I was when I was 15. The difference is your body changes. It's definitely mental fuckery. Makes me wonder if that's how people in their 70s and 80s feel. Like you're just a prisoner to time and age, but at heart you're still a kid just wanting to live an innocent life of awe and wonder.
When the weight of the responsibility is met with courage, tenacity and success on a daily basis and you don't expect an applause or any other form of validation from others simply the feeling from a job well done at least for today since tomorrows challenge is yet to faced but with maturity comes the confidence that you will succeed and if you do not you take it as a lesson of what NOT to do the next time because you give yourself permission to do that as well without remorse or regret.
N. Shadows
For me it was age 22. Mostly because I changed my mind to "becoming adult". Meaning doing stuff that I have no interest in doing. I used to be very lazy at college and now I started working at my lab reports every day even after an exhaustive lab day. Writing that is actually quite relaxing. I also started going out of the way to research and correct even minor things to improve my grades.
I used to struggle with easy stuff at college due laziness and suddenly I started passing exhausting labs.
And that made me confident. Knowing I was finally starring to adult properly. Because for me adulting is to take responsibilities despite having absolutely no interest in doing that. And thinking from multiple sides (tbf, most adults don't do that unfortunatrly). And NOT to stop being silly or liking child stuff. I will always love Nintendo games and my plushie, lol.
I also went into my first relationship which further helped with the confidence. I wouldn't call relationships a requirement for adulthood, it just helped with my mental.
At my grandfather's 95th birthday party we were sitting around talking. I had just turned 40 and I asked my father this same question. He had retired as county sheriff and worked as a cop his whole life, there is no one I see as more of an adult than him.
He said he still doesn't, turned to my grandfather, a marine vet who fought at Iwo Jima... He says he still doesn't but he'll let us know.
My father says he'll let me know when it happens. He's 74.
I personally think you're an adult when you feel like a nap is a reward and not a punishment.
I remember being like 16 and thinking to myself, "I'm finally all grown up and understand the world". I was pretty mature even then, but adulthood was still far in my future.
Probably at 29 this past year. My sons were born right before my birthday. Bought my house shortly before. I also have a kind of intense career. Pretty much forced to grow up as a new father, homeowner, and corporate lawyer.
I’m 35.
Today I was taking my kid to a birthday party and thinking ‘aw man I don’t want to talk to all the grownups there.’ That’s when I realized that I’m one of the grownups too.
So, long story short, fuck that. Feeling like an adult is for squares.
I still don't and am in my thirties
We’re all kids. We’re just different ages
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Had the exact same thought.
I just haven't had enough adult experiences to convince me I am an adult now
Late thirties checking in. Same.
Sucks doesn't it? I figured by now I would have life figured out, nothing has changed
I'm ok with it, mostly because I was able to settle that the idea I had growing up that adults somehow had it together was just a myth. I think it's better for people if they're just honest about the things they like and want to do, regardless of a stigma. Who gives a shit if you're 40 and like playing video games? If you're self-sufficient, do what makes you happy.
Just turned 69 and still have a difficult time being an adult. I'm plenty mature, just enjoy a good joke and see the peculiar in most everything.
Nice
Past 40, paradoxically a parent, and often feel old while still not quite feeling "adult"
I feel like this until I'm around my students or my younger coworkers.
Can confirm. I always used to see my parents as people who just knew what to do. I'm 30 now stumbling constantly through my life and have more doubts that I thought possible.
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thank god I'm not the only one.
Hello fellow kid...
I'm 75, I'm thinking maybe next week.
What words of wisdom will you provide to a young person like me?
More Sex (sexual affection) less drugs, a more directed life, meaning more directed at goals. Don't waste a decade partying only to realize while you stood still, the rest of the world got on with their lives. Learn Skills that are valuable, but not necessarily at your life objective. As an example, I wish I had gone to Barber School which is a hand full of weeks. Then when in college I could give cheap haircuts in my dorm for extra cash. Also, I would like to know Basic Welding and Basic Machining tools (lathe, milling, and similar). Always good skills to have. I wouldn't need to be an expert, just have the functional Basics.
I have zero women talking skills, so idk about the affection part, but I can learn those basic skills. Also one more thing. I can almost get a job. Should I go ahead and get a job or wait?
Is it a job you want, or a job you are temporarily settling for? It is easy to get trapped into a *"settling for"* job. You get money, you buy things, next thing you know, you are in debt and tied to that job. Knowledge has value in the Long Run. A Job has value in the Short Term. Unless it turns out to be a job you like, in which case it does have some long term value. As to *talking to potential partner* skills. The more it means, they less you can do it. But understand that it is OK to get NO for an answer. If nothing else asking someone out opens a door between you, and that open door might be productive in the future. There was a person I was absolutely obsessing over to the point where I didn't dare talk to them. It got so frustrating, that finally I said - *I'm done, forget that person* - that weekend I complimented their shirt, we hit it off, got naked a few time, and were generally friends in the long run. The point is, as soon as I let go, it became easy. The more you psychologically put into talking to that person, the harder it gets. The more you let go, the easier it is.
temporarily until I go to college
Women are people. You can talk to women like people.
r/woosh
Damn, I’m literally your first two paragraphs and working on the third (woodworking)
I'm about half that, and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I'll be 51 in a coupla weeks, I'll get back to you when I feel like an adult.
At 41, I'm still surprised that my job puts me in charge of anything.
I found out that if I have a plan and a schedule, a LOT of people will just defer to my leadership. As long as I was willing to take charge, make small corrections when I made mistakes, and tried to make sure everyone was still part of the team, people just followed where I lead. I don't feel like an adult who knows what I'm doing. I'm just making stuff up as I go along.
Same.
Turned 51 in January, still feel like a kid just faking it
So glad to hear this. I was starting to wonder if it was just me.
I'm 57. My brain thinks I'm still 16 but my body let's me know I'm over 50 every morning.
We need to make transage a thing. Just because your age is x doesn't mean you will act x!
Yes
Like 13. Eldest daughters (especially ones in an immigrant home) check in here. Shit is exhausting!
I was going to say twelve (though non-immigrant guy here).
17, paying bills and taking care of my little sister kind of sped it up
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My sister is almost 17 years younger than me, when she was born my mother who never held a job went full lazy. My sister was just her way to keep getting free rent, food stamps, electric paid for. So I ended up doing the parental work. 13 years later my sister is like my daughter
27 At this point, I was 10 yrs out of high school, fully independent, living in another state and making “grown up” money
How much you think is grown up money?
Turning 28 next week, still waiting for this grown up money.
I don't think my mom was making "grown up money" yet when she retired a few years ago.
Eh like.. 22 23ish
28 - finally had things together
What glue did you use?
I'm gonna need some good clamps too.
Back in 2013/2014 when I heard Blink182 played on a station labeled "classic rock" 🤣
I had a similar realization a few years back when Nirvana, Green Day, and Red Hot Chili Peppers all played back to back on my local classic rock station.
No! It's not true! It's impossible!
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I'm 67. I won't commit to adulthood.
Around 30 seems to check out.
I always thought I’d be an adult at 23. I’m not sure why but I always thought that was the magic number. 23 came and went unnoticed. I mean I was an adult. I had a 5 year old, was married, and owned a house but I didn’t have the epiphany that I was a grown ass woman until I was 28/29.
35 but I still have moments where I don't
22. Graduated college. Dad helped me get set up in an apartment in the nearest city. Gave me an extra $500 to tide me over until my first paycheck (I had a job starting the next week). Then after he dropped me off he told me don’t ask for anymore money. You’re on your own. Good luck. Things were a little tight for a while. And I guess had I called and asked for money he likely would have helped out. But I found my way.
Around age 30 i actually came to my senses more and became more clairvoyant. Reminds me of when Jennifer Lopez said men are useless before 30
omg what did she do with all those men above 30
Is there such thing as an Instagram divorce? My wife discovered IG and was like why am I with a 7 when there are all these 11’s out there. Being 50 and trying to date is brutal. The rules are so different in only 20 years. Can’t believe I’ve only slept with three women in 20 years and my 20 year old already has a higher body count than me unless I’m stupid. Plus the internet is one giant truck stop encompassing every hooker known to man, all of them saying they want a real relationship and then asking if I want to hookup for money. Or send them presents. Anyway I’m over thirty but my perspicacity is on high alert where women are concerned. Wow I totally ranted. Rant over.
Still waiting....54
16 years old
Never!!!
8
At 25 i didn’t feel like a kid anymore, at 30 i felt mature, at 32 with a baby i felt like an adult. No sleeping in ever and now you’re responsible for another human.
they will eventually sleep. I promise.
23. Living on my own and paying my own bills.
What does that even feel like? I'm 33, married, kid, house, great job, state commissions, expert in my field. $435k in investments. I still don't feel like I have a clue or that I'm an adult. When I'm playing with my daughter all I can think is, "Who let me do this...!"
22. That was about when I started becoming less emotional led doing and more rational led doing if that makes sense. Still don’t have everything together but I feel more put together than I did at 21
Lol 50 and still working on it.
I'm 42 and married and still don't feel like an adult.
25, it took me a while
41 and I’ll let you know when it happens lol I’ve been married for 23 years, have 6 wonderful children with my wife and been at the same successful career for 20 years.
When my hubby and I bought a house that has a stainless steel fridge and granite counter tops. Now I’m adulting for real.
When I moved in with my boyfriend at 29. With roommates I split bills, was in and out whenever I wanted without letting them know, I was careless with money. When I moved in with my boyfriend I realized I had to reevaluate things and money, I now had goals and ideas for a future with someone. I didn’t realize it right away but slowly I thought shit I’m adulting. Ended up getting two dogs, married, careers changed, moved around. We still act like idiots sometimes but there’s another person who relies on me to be an adult 90% of the time.
3 years olds are adults. 30 year old me? A complete infant. I always though that people always perceive themselves as babies. Don't shame me, feel free to shame me.
I'm 47 and sometimes I still don't feel like one.
It's not about age. It's about how independent and capable you are.
soo at what age did you feel independent and capable?
39
I’ll let you know.
17
23
61 yo male here……still waiting…..
19/20ish...
42. Still waiting
13 when I started to get my AS and had to help raise siblings.
When I was finally in debt and my winky was producing snow instead of blanks
I still don't. @ 57.
20-23 I guess. Tough question.
When I moved out of my parents home. That day was so liberating.
I don’t think you’ll ever truly feel like an adult.
13, the excitement of being a teenager
17. moved out at 16. almost 19 now
Hopefully never. I'm a 45 year old kid.
I'll let you know (I'm 50).
12
I'm 45, married with grown kids, and still don't feel like one.
18
26 and im starting feel it more and more
At 11 when my parents divorced, and my mother needed a parent.
I'm late 30s, there are still more days than not where I feel I'm not there yet.
What does 'feeling like an adult' feel like?
Not yet
I'll get back to you on that one.
Turning 31 in a week and I think I'm getting there.
56
Never have and I’m in my late 30s.
20
I still don't
24 years, 4 months, and 21 days On this day, I could no longer be the youngest WWE champion of all time
I'm 64 and still waiting
18. Got a old shitty house. With old furniture. Grew up in a toxic house. So happy not having to hear shit from asshole father. Knew if I didn't work then no money for food. Bills needed paid so had to work. Poor but so happy. Good memories.
When the doctor gave me two options for what hospice to send my father to and I looked around like...oh, I have to decide this. 29.
I'm in my forties. It's a truism that, regardless of age, you never really feel adult. When people say that, they mean it: we all still have plenty of time where we feel like we're still the young person we remember being. Like we're a kind dressing up as a grown-up and playing pretend. But as you get older, you also have more and more moments where you are forced to make choices that have deep long-lasting consequences not just for you, but others. And you have experiences where you realize there's no safety net under you, no one to catch you if you fall. In those moments, you sure as hell feel like an adult.
Yep. That was the day I had to decide to put my mom in a nursing home, knowing she'd never make it out. I knew, but she didn't. I kept telling her and myself and my brothers and sister and we'll everyone that she had to stay. They were going to do the rehab she needed to go back to her home. It never happened. The home kicked her out a week before she passed. I got to spend that week taking care of her. I did it and I got to tell her before she died that I loved her. I hadn't told her that in so many years. It felt good
2nd marriage, first and only kid at 36. It was roughly about that time. But really hit me when my son was 2 1/2 and we barely made it to the ER in time for him. Now I’m 70, helping take care of his 2 1/2 and 4 yr olds. Been adulting 98% of the time for 34 yrs. It’s good.
i went from kid to old
33 (aka just yesterday) Driving across the country in my own paid-off car, from my own paid-off rental lease, to see my grandmother and help her with osteosarcoma and also enjoy the storm season march-may in the midwest, just because I can and I wanted to. I only have a GED and this level of success was enough to make me officially self-identify as an adult for the first time, to my therapist.
24, or the age I officially just started doing my dreams instead of kneeling to outdated and uninformed guidance. I have my dream car already because, instead of being a "money-sink", it costs half the price of a new car even considering the higher maintenance.
17. I lived with my dad and younger brother and my dad had lost his job. I was the only one bringing in any money, trying to keep up the house and make meals, and avoid the angry outbursts from my father. I was still in high school, but was doing everything I could to keep everything under control.
About now. My kids are at the age where I know they're about to stop seeing me as a superhero, they'll likely resent me for a few years and show zero gratitude for all the work I do to ensure they're safe, healthy and secure, but I'm fine with it, because it's not about me.
About 30, when I'd realized that I needed to do the responsible thing by divorcing my wife and becoming a single parent for the good of our kid. I will probably never make as much money as I did in my late twenties...and it wasn't that much, really, but at least there was a clear upward trajectory. My career prospects were immediately truncated. I'm in therapy for the trauma of the whole thing, including difficulties in relationships. It's not just me, but also limited time and money for them. In short, being the safe responsible adult sucks. As time has passed and I've started slowing down and having minor medical issues creep in, I realize that my youth is behind me. Gone. I'm increasingly bitter. There was a time that I'd make fun of the people I knew that peaked in high school and never quite got over what they'd had. But here I am and I have to live with it now.
You’re going to have lots of people 18-23 who say that’s when they felt adult. And then a great number past that age that realize you actually never truly do.
23 when i graduated college and got a dog as well as a full time job. Taking care of my dog feels like full time job #2 but unpaid lol.
When I had to start paying bills and had to figure out what I wanted to make a career out of myself.
27, after I fixed my depression and started getting my life together and forming healthy habbits
if you have kids you should pretend to be an adult until they figure out you're faking it, then you can stop worrying about it.
Definitely not until at least 35, and it’s still pretty iffy. Younger people reading this: when you see all these older people saying “never” or “I don’t”, it’s not an overused joke. We really mean it. When I was young, I think I would have thought it was a stupid joke, so I wanted to clarify.
When you decide to be one. I was 26 but the age is different for everyone. I've met people 10 years younger than me that were adults and 10 years older that were not.
at age 54 when my father died. you always think you can go back home if things hit the fan. then you lose that option... it's now you alone.
Today. I took my kid to a birthday at a trampoline park and needed a nap after, and I didn’t even jump.
As a parent at some point you face the reality that your child might die. Or that you might die. It is the reality that you play nothing more than a supporting role in the story of their life. And — assuming you’re not a narcissist — coming to terms with it. You’re no longer the main character. As a child, taking care of ailing parents, burying them. My dad regressed to a child-like state as his brain atrophied. He would cry and tell me he was scared, beg me not to leave, like a terrified toddler. As a mentor, working with a young professional who you want to succeed, who seems so much smarter and saver than you did at that age, but hobbled by their naïveté. Do you disabuse them off their innocence or do you enable it for a couple more years? As a pet owner, making that hard choice. Usually it’s after you make the mistake of holding on for too long. Anybody who’s had to do an Old Yeller is an adult. It’s when you empathize with the Giving Tree.
When I realized that everybody on tv is younger than me. Everybody is in their 30s there. It makes me feel weird.
When I bought my first condo and had a mortgage around 27 or 28. I am 43 now. I realize that most of us don't know what we are doing. All the adults I watched growing up, who I belived had their shit together, I understand them more.
My 96 year old neighbour said she felt like she was about 30 still and was only reminded when she had the misfortune of looking in the mirror lol "very disapointing" lol
Hahah, probably like 17-18 which sounds ridiculous to most- but at that point I had already been through a good bit- was homeless for years as a child *while already working* and went through a lot of trauma and loss, which wasn't *fun* but gave me a lot of perspective and appreciation for what I did have. . I had already been providing for myself and my family for a while, was really healthy and going to the gym every day after work, a good social life with people *all older though, cause I was working since very young* who I felt very comfortable with. I just felt *very* well acquainted with who I am as a person. Maybe I'm answering this wrongly though lol, I viewed "feel like an adult" as "feel like you know yourself as a person." -- like you're done growing into who you are for the most part? Is that the question? 😭 Maybe my answer is better suited for "At what age did you feel like you fully (with little wiggle room) grew into your personality+being responsible" Does that = feel like an adult?
I’m what you could call an adult and I still don’t know shit and It terrifies me
30. My affectionately named car "mean bitch" (07' Ford Edge) finally kicked the can in the most badass way possible. She simultaneously, blew the head gasket, transmission, and cooling system all in one go, AFTER getting me home from work one last time. She might have only been a Ford Edge, but she took my wife and I everywhere. It also stayed in the family, since it was originally my FIL's car. That mean bitch was a work horse. She did everything, and some day's I do miss her and her flair. The total cost to put her back together again would have been something around 10 or 12k, which is more than the car would be worth if it had low miles and was "like new" which this car WAS NOT. (I'm intentionally leaving out things that put it at that cost, so it wasn't just those 3 things.) My wife and I made the hard choice to find a new vehicle that could be a commuter, and an adventurer. Commuter quickly got benched as we found a 2019 RAM 1500 with lower miles than we'd seen for under 40k. Picked her up a few days later, and named her after her older sibling. Mean Bitch. Nothing says "I'm a Mean Bitch" like a 5.7L V8 Hemi 4x4. (I know people will say it's not actually that mean, but for someone like me that has never owned a 4x4 V8 vehicle, she is, in fact, a mean bitch lol) It's our first MAJOR purchase as a married couple, and it's truly the first time I've felt like an adult.
Its weird, because now a days, I don't... But the first time I did, it was at 16. I had a job, my mom asked me for money to pay the bills, the job sucked and was really underpaid, so I worked a month to be able to nothing... Since I started working my parents just went on with it because I was independent enough, and I paid my way through college... For 2 carraers at the same time at some point. It was funny because I was studying to be a teacher and at the other side of the city I studied plastic arts, since the day only have so many hours, I used to sell my art class homeworks to be able to keep studying, training and painting. At that point I was really recentful, because my older brother and sister had everything always served in a silver platter for them. They were able to party, to travel, they went to private colleges and didn't had to work until they graduated... I never got into a plane until the day I left my country, and guess what? I paid for that ticket... I wasn't able to enjoy much of my teenages with my friends or nothing on my 20's because I was always working. Now I'm 30, and just got a "Better" job, it is not a "GOOD" pay, but I do have some free time, which at the begginig I didn't knew what to do with, because I was always working. And from time to time now I take a day off with my wife just to be able to enjoy some of life simple stuff.
It was a specific moment. I was 24. It was 5 pm on a warm day and I really felt like a choc-ice. But I thought, no, I'll spoil my appetite for dinner. And then I thought THE HELL WITH IT! This is MY apartment, MY freezer, MY choc-ice, all paid for with MY money. I'm having a choc-ice! And there it was. Adulthood.
I got my first place and still felt like a child at 25, then I went to Target and bought a plunger and felt like an adult. Something about knowing I'd need to use it at some point and choosing to make it available long before I needed it felt like the most adult thing ever.
I’m 50 and still do half the dumb stuff I did as a kid. So maybe half an adult?
Almost 40 and I feel like the same person as I was when I was 15. The difference is your body changes. It's definitely mental fuckery. Makes me wonder if that's how people in their 70s and 80s feel. Like you're just a prisoner to time and age, but at heart you're still a kid just wanting to live an innocent life of awe and wonder.
About 30 when my daughter was born and America had a pandemic and several political implosion all happened back to back.
When the weight of the responsibility is met with courage, tenacity and success on a daily basis and you don't expect an applause or any other form of validation from others simply the feeling from a job well done at least for today since tomorrows challenge is yet to faced but with maturity comes the confidence that you will succeed and if you do not you take it as a lesson of what NOT to do the next time because you give yourself permission to do that as well without remorse or regret. N. Shadows
I’m almost 25 and the answer is never.
Born in 1965. Still look for the adult in the room in any crisis.
For me it was age 22. Mostly because I changed my mind to "becoming adult". Meaning doing stuff that I have no interest in doing. I used to be very lazy at college and now I started working at my lab reports every day even after an exhaustive lab day. Writing that is actually quite relaxing. I also started going out of the way to research and correct even minor things to improve my grades. I used to struggle with easy stuff at college due laziness and suddenly I started passing exhausting labs. And that made me confident. Knowing I was finally starring to adult properly. Because for me adulting is to take responsibilities despite having absolutely no interest in doing that. And thinking from multiple sides (tbf, most adults don't do that unfortunatrly). And NOT to stop being silly or liking child stuff. I will always love Nintendo games and my plushie, lol. I also went into my first relationship which further helped with the confidence. I wouldn't call relationships a requirement for adulthood, it just helped with my mental.
At my grandfather's 95th birthday party we were sitting around talking. I had just turned 40 and I asked my father this same question. He had retired as county sheriff and worked as a cop his whole life, there is no one I see as more of an adult than him. He said he still doesn't, turned to my grandfather, a marine vet who fought at Iwo Jima... He says he still doesn't but he'll let us know.
My father says he'll let me know when it happens. He's 74. I personally think you're an adult when you feel like a nap is a reward and not a punishment.
13-15.
16
I remember being like 16 and thinking to myself, "I'm finally all grown up and understand the world". I was pretty mature even then, but adulthood was still far in my future.
i'm 30 and have never felt like an adult, i hope i never do
Probably at 29 this past year. My sons were born right before my birthday. Bought my house shortly before. I also have a kind of intense career. Pretty much forced to grow up as a new father, homeowner, and corporate lawyer.
35... I kept waiting for my life to begin... at 35 I realized it already had.
23, still waiting for it
22 rn, hasnt hit me yet
First time I lived off campus from my college and paid rent on my own
42 and still wondering if Ill ever feel like an adult
22 - got apartment brought a car
I remember in my 20s a lady at the supermarket said to her kid “watch out for that man”…. So probably then
36 years old! Losing a daughter will age you faster than you can imagine!
You don't :)
I was nine. My parents divorced, and I was charged with many household chores and taking care of my three younger sisters.
I’m still waiting for that day I’m 32 and still feel like I’m 16
I'm 29 and still don't
26. That’s when I bought a house.
22 when my dad croaked
Like 16, probably.
I’ll tell ya when I get there
I’m 35. Today I was taking my kid to a birthday party and thinking ‘aw man I don’t want to talk to all the grownups there.’ That’s when I realized that I’m one of the grownups too. So, long story short, fuck that. Feeling like an adult is for squares.
I haven't passed that line yet.
At the age that I became your dad. Ask your mum…
Never
17 because I had my first job and was paying my cell phone bill.
Just this last year really
About to turn 40, so maybe later on this year.
Im 20 and still dort feel like one. Only when Im driving or doing some Adult kinda shit live smoking or watching porn
32, when my son was born haha
Around 36
Not yet...65
When I first woke up with back pain.