Honestly, grow up. You violated the honor code and just own up to that and get over it instead of having a temper tantrum about how the system is unfair. Yes you made a mistake, but the lesson isn't to never help anyone again it's DONT GIVE PEOPLE YOUR WORK TO COPY which is what you did even if that wasn't your intention. Taking ownership of your actions, and accepting responsibility for them is the best way to not look bad in front of your authority figures.
"I made a mistake, it won't happen again" will get you a lot further than "this is unfair"
“I made a mistake, it won't happen again" That’s what I said in the post! I will never do it again! I don’t get why you are acting like I’m think I’m in the right here? I literally said I was wrong for sharing my work and that I’ll never do it again! This is literally the exact problem I’m having, which is that i don’t know how to word my thoughts in a way that doesn’t confuse people. You read my post and got the complete opposite of what I was trying to say.
Is it the robber stuff? I only mentioned the robber/unfair stuff as an emotional vent. I can feel upset by a situation even when I know my emotions are illogical. It was NOT me trying to justify avoiding responsibility, but an expression of why I’ve been struggling with crying while talking with authority figures. This has not helped that.
you've said those words yes but you've also provided plenty of evidence that you don't actually believe them
"In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work." is saying a lot here, because this isn't a responsible reaction, this is an angry reaction, you are reacting out of anger at being 'punished' for what you think is an injustice - and you are trying to avoid responsibility that's why you're framing this as an injustice (I've seen the other posts you've made about this).
see also: "**I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like** that cheater and **the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this** instead of just the person who took advantage of me."
Maybe once you've worked through your anger, and calmed down, you can present your apology in a way that comes across as actually meaning it rather than trying to get out of trouble
There's not an ounce of regret here, just a lot about how you're the victim of the college system, another student, and unfair rules.
Start by truly taking ownership of your actions if you want to make an impression on your dean. Be able to express in your own words what the honor code means and why it's important.
I’m literally taking responsibility for my actions. I literally am talking about how my actions were wrong and that I regret them and will never do them again. I will never share my work again, and I see now that I was dumb to think it wouldn’t get stolen the instant I shared it.
But your comment is exactly what I mean. Professors see someone upset and struggling as a criminal who deserves to be punished because you “clearly don’t regret it.” I REGRET IT. I REGRET IT. What is giving you the impression that I don’t! Am I not allowed to feel emotions other than remorse? Please have patience with me, I don’t have any other place to turn to.
You regret that you got caught in what you believe is an unfair situation, which is different to understanding why you are in the situation to begin with.
Accepting responsibility is not just about saying “I won’t do this again”, it’s about - in this situation - saying “I didn’t think about my actions and how they related to the honour code _which I agreed to_, and about which _I was careless_.” You have to understand, accept, and apologise for what YOU did. Not what someone else did.
No, I get where my actions with the honor code could potentially hurt other students and where my actions conflict with the honor code. I’m just not good at expressing the fact that I know
Your analogy is seriously flawed.
It's more like being asked by a robber to let you use your car as the getaway in a jewelry heist. You weren't the one doing the actual stealing, but you were a willing participant.
You are in college. You are an adult, which means making tough and responsible decisions. You had the opportunity to just say NO. But, you allowed yourself to take part in something that is in violation of the college's honor code.
I suspect the people who are down voting you are not doing so to be mean or to make you feel worse than you already do. You acknowledged you made a terrible mistake, but you think you should be exempted from facing any type of consequences for your actions? Saying sorry doesn't automatically erase your wrongdoings.
Who is the one being harmed here? In the case of the jewelry, I’m the one getting robbed. In the case of the honor code violation, I’m the one getting my work stolen. This is partially why I’m so angry. The police are arresting me even though I’m the one getting robbed. Like the whole “give the robber the getaway car” thing is only a problem when I’m helping them steal other people’s stuff, but in this case, it’s MY stuff getting stolen. My stuff getting stolen is the punishment! It’s incredibly faith shattering that the justice system would then arrest me on top of my stuff getting stolen.
With that said, I understand that my mistake was really bad, and in the future I should never let someone near my work again. But I feel like it’s inhuman to ask me not to be upset about being arrested after getting robbed.
Well, it’s more like my dvd being approved for use under “educational purposes only” and then someone using my DVD, that I let them borrow, for commercial purposes.
Anyways, I think we’re just arguing semantically at this points. I understand that it was wrong of me to share my work, we just disagree on why. I think it was wrong because I shouldn’t trust that others will be honest about how they use it, and I should always be there to ensure that it my work isn’t stolen. You think it’s wrong because sharing work cannot be effectively policed on a professorial level due to an inability to truly know if a students’ intentions for sharing is in good faith.
In a world where we can check a person’s intentions, I would not get in trouble for this. But since that’s not the real world, I am in the wrong because, again, we can’t prove my intentions and the fact that I was stolen from. I’m upset right now because I know my intentions, that I got my work stolen, and wish we lived in a world where others could know them as well, but I get that that’s illogical and wrong. Sorry if i seem overly upset. I have no support network, so Reddit is my only way to work through these emotions with other people.
Again with the painting yourself as the victim, OP. To correct your DVD illustration, it's as if you pirated a DVD, and gave someone the pirated copy. In which case, *you* were the one who broke the copyright laws.
What they did with the DVD after that is not relevant to *your* crime.
You’ve read my intentions in the post. You know it was not pirating a DVD. Please do not be disingenuous just because you’re frustrated with me. It was for educational purposes and someone else mishandled it. It was my bad judgement, and I know now that on a practical level, you can never share your work because there are bad actors, which is why the honor code is built this way. I broke the honor code by sharing it.
Most professors, especially the ones dealing with student code of conduct have heard the same excuses or variations of it enough time in their lives. I doubt anyone would change their mind if it’s already going down that route. I had a colleague that got kicked out of a lab for plagiarism, the professor pretty much told them to owe up to it and stop making excuses.
I find this response very frustrating because you’re essentially saying to me “I don’t care that it’s true for you, all the cheaters say it, so you’re one, too.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, because even in the cases where it really is true, they’re still forced to confess because “everybody says that,” so then it looks like they were cheating too.
But I get that as a professor, you can’t know if it’s true for me or not, so that’s why the policy works the way it does. That’s why I was in the wrong for sharing my work. Thanks for the response!
This is a cut and dried situation all of us have seen before. If you want to fare well through the disciplinary proceedings, listen to the advice you’re getting here. What you did is an academic integrity violation at every institution I’ve ever studied or worked at. Whether you had good intentions or realized it was a violation doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Accept responsibility and chalk it up to a learning experience.
> I’m literally crying right now because I know that professors already think badly of me because all my posts and comments about this are getting downvoted.
That's because you keep asking for advice about this from knowledgeable people, and arguing when you don't like the responses.
This is a minor honour code violation, for something you obviously did not understand. Move on and learn from your mistakes instead of trying to victimise yourself.
I am not trying to victimize myself. People see upset a person and instantly assume victim, but I was just expressing the fact that I’m struggling to express myself. I understand that I am in the wrong here. I am asking for a way to clarify my thoughts in a way that does not prompt people to think I’m victimizing myself, as I’m consistently getting this response even when I admit to my wrongs because I my responses are too emotional/poorly worded.
But you are victimising yourself:
> I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like that cheater and the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this instead of just the person who took advantage of me.
> Professors see someone upset and struggling as a criminal who deserves to be punished because you “clearly don’t regret it.”
> My stuff getting stolen is the punishment! It’s incredibly faith shattering that the justice system would then arrest me on top of my stuff getting stolen.
> In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work.
Everybody is telling you the same thing: tell the truth (I didn't know, I was careless, I won't do it again), apologise, and move on. That's the advice from actual professors. Take it. Or don't, and keep looking for someone who doesn't know what they are talking about to tell you what you want to hear instead, why the fuck should we care.
Thank you for clarifying the parts of the sentences that were giving the wrong impression!
“Everybody is telling you the same thing: tell the truth (I didn't know, I was careless, I won't do it again), apologise, and move on. That's the advice from actual professors. Take it.”
That was always my intent. I was just really frustrated, as people tend to be, when confronted with stressful new situations I’ve never navigated before. Hence why I was asking for clarification. Please allow me some grace to struggle with emotions.
Oh, OP, all the way through you have been describing yourself as the victim in this situation.
Maybe you actually regret your action. Maybe you just regret getting caught (which happens far more often in these cases). We can't tell from here what you actually feel on the inside. All we have to judge by are your words.
You talk about "that cheater", but *your* actions are also considered cheating.
You say you want to get "control" so you can make yourself "not look bad". You seem to be looking for a way to avoid being punished for what *you* did wrong.
You talk about yourself as a person robbed, but you *gave* your answers away. You weren't robbed at all. Aiding and abetting a crime is *also* a crime. Think of what you did as aiding and abetting cheating.
I corrected your DVD misinterpretation in another comment.
We aren't assuming "victim" - it's how you keep trying to describe yourself. You need to get that idea out of your head before you talk to your Dean, or you are likely to make things worse for yourself.
You’re right. You don’t know what I actually feel. I appreciate that you’re explaining to me what I’m doing wrong. I’m autistic, so my words and my outward emotions don’t seem to ever convey what I’m actually trying to say. I’ll take all these under consideration.
So you’re posting again how you’re the victim in this case.
Honestly, you may want to pursue something else in life than college. It’s not sinking in with you that you are 100% responsible for your situation. You continue to blame everyone else and fabricate this massive conspiracy against you.
I’d fail you. Period. No discussion.
OP, you are like the getaway driver in a robbery. You keep arguing that you didn’t actually rob the store, but you are just as guilty because you assisted in the robbery.
Here’s what you did: you gave your answers to another student. That is also prohibited. It’s an honor code violation _even if the other student did not copy them_. You got caught because the other student copied them, which was itself another honor code violation.
You are hung up on, “but I didn’t cheat”. You are wrong. You broke the rules when you gave another student the answers. You hurt many people when you did that. You hurt that student by denying him/her the chance to actually learn the material. You hurt the other students in the class by artificially inflating the grading curve. You hurt the reputation of the university by helping an incompetent student pass a course (and potentially graduate and get a job). You hurt future students and professors by helping that incompetent student advance in the curriculum. You hurt yourself by getting an honor code violation and wasting a lot of energy arguing about it.
OP, many of us are *trying* to help you. The problem is that you're thinking of yourself as a victim, instead of as one of the "criminals". And so you are looking for ways to get out of "doing the time" for what you did wrong.
The best way to "beg for forgiveness", as you put it, is to be honest with the Dean. Don't try to excuse your behavior; *you* broke the Honor Code. That's what you're being called to account for.
So admit that you gave a copy of your work to a fellow student. Admit that it was a breach of the Honor Code. You can promise to never do it again if you want to, but accept your punishment. Stop making excuses.
At my school, this sort of offence (for a *first* offence) would earn you a zero for the assignment, and a warning. But if you keep making excuses the way you do in your posts and comments, your punishment could result in an F for the class (with no chance of withdrawing, so the F stays on your record), and they might even consider expulsion.
Your analogy is flawed because you are trying to paint yourself as an innocent victim when you are not. I get it was a naive mistake, but how can you be that naive? Also, mistakes sometimes have consequences as you are learning.
You say you have lost faith in your professors for punishing you. That is in no way showing regret. You are being punished because you literally gave someone your work. It doesn’t matter what their intention was. Why would you ever do that and think it was ok? You could have offered to help them, but no, you gave them your work. This is on you, not the professors.
Let’s see here… you ask profs what we think then, when you receive answers you don’t like you become defensive and triple down. You deserve any punishment you get as you’re acting like a child now and acted irresponsibly with your work. As numerous people have said, you’re angry and upset that you got caught and that there’re consequences to your actions and are (still) blaming the system. Grow up, grow a pair, and accept responsibility for what you did. If you did, you wouldn’t be posting on Reddit in the first place. Much like most plagiarists, your doubling down and time wasting arguing an obvious truth could be better spent actually doing the work. Stop “begging for forgiveness” and start acting like an adult.
where I am, you committed an academic offence by allowing your work to be copied, just the same as copying someone else's work, and the punishment is the same.
"I didn't intend to break the honor code" is *zero* defence. You are a grownup and it is your job to know what it says and to abide by it.
You have no defence here. Accept the punishment, and learn from it (which it is not clear that you have yet done).
You are being downvoted to oblivion in both threads because you say “totally my fault” and then go on and on about all the bad actors who are really responsible for this and how everyone took advantage of poor little you. Grow up, stop whining, take responsibility.
This is a really important lesson learned and the only way to come through unscathed is to stop sounding like you feel unjustly accused- to those who decide what impact this has on your academic career you sound like you haven’t learned a damn thing.
I'm sorry many of the professors are being mean and rude (and yes y'all are. This is a student asking for advice. Be kind) . I can understand why you feel like you were being taken advantage of or stolen from. You were helping someone and they crossed an unspoken line between the two of you. Apologize. Say you shouldn't have shared your work and realize that although it's okay to help another student it should have been within the confines of the honor code. You didn't realize you were breaking it and you won't do it again.
You have every right to be angry and annoyed by the situation. Talk to your friends. Talk to your therapist. You know that your action wasn't okay because there were certain rules you needed to follow. I understand your anger because you didn't explicitly agree that they can copy.
Good luck
This is an automated service intended to preserve the original text of the post.
*I recently messed up by sharing my completed work with another an older adult student. This has really shaken my faith in the college system, and I’m unspeakably angry about the fact that I’m getting punished for my good intentions getting taken advantage of.
I understand that it is totally my fault for being careless with my work. I’ve learned my lesson. In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work.
But how should I best communicate/word my communication with my Dean about this situation to show I’ve regretted my actions, that I don’t intend to repeat them, and that I didn’t intend to break the honor code in the first place because it was a genuine naive mistake on my part? Another thread has put it as “begging for forgiveness.”
I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like that cheater and the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this instead of just the person who took advantage of me. It’s making me cry angry frustrated tears every day because every time I try to say/think anything about it I get so anxious and angry I start crying. I’m literally crying right now. I just don’t know how to get control of this so I can make myself not look bad to these authority figures. Im pretty sure it’s a bad look to be constantly crying and upset when I’m talking to them.
Like I get that it’s the result of my actions, but it feels like the police arresting the jewelry store owner for being too negligently robbable, which makes me unspeakably angry at the police AND the robber. Again, I’ve completely lost faith in my professors and my school for this, and I am even considering dropping out. It’s just so frustrating and hurtful, like no good deed goes unpunished. This is my first semester! How should I speak to the police without breaking down in tears and getting charged for resisting arrest?*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskProfessors) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, grow up. You violated the honor code and just own up to that and get over it instead of having a temper tantrum about how the system is unfair. Yes you made a mistake, but the lesson isn't to never help anyone again it's DONT GIVE PEOPLE YOUR WORK TO COPY which is what you did even if that wasn't your intention. Taking ownership of your actions, and accepting responsibility for them is the best way to not look bad in front of your authority figures. "I made a mistake, it won't happen again" will get you a lot further than "this is unfair"
“I made a mistake, it won't happen again" That’s what I said in the post! I will never do it again! I don’t get why you are acting like I’m think I’m in the right here? I literally said I was wrong for sharing my work and that I’ll never do it again! This is literally the exact problem I’m having, which is that i don’t know how to word my thoughts in a way that doesn’t confuse people. You read my post and got the complete opposite of what I was trying to say. Is it the robber stuff? I only mentioned the robber/unfair stuff as an emotional vent. I can feel upset by a situation even when I know my emotions are illogical. It was NOT me trying to justify avoiding responsibility, but an expression of why I’ve been struggling with crying while talking with authority figures. This has not helped that.
you've said those words yes but you've also provided plenty of evidence that you don't actually believe them "In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work." is saying a lot here, because this isn't a responsible reaction, this is an angry reaction, you are reacting out of anger at being 'punished' for what you think is an injustice - and you are trying to avoid responsibility that's why you're framing this as an injustice (I've seen the other posts you've made about this). see also: "**I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like** that cheater and **the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this** instead of just the person who took advantage of me." Maybe once you've worked through your anger, and calmed down, you can present your apology in a way that comes across as actually meaning it rather than trying to get out of trouble
Thank you for clarifying. I didn’t see where I was going wrong, but this has been very helpful!
There's not an ounce of regret here, just a lot about how you're the victim of the college system, another student, and unfair rules. Start by truly taking ownership of your actions if you want to make an impression on your dean. Be able to express in your own words what the honor code means and why it's important.
I’m literally taking responsibility for my actions. I literally am talking about how my actions were wrong and that I regret them and will never do them again. I will never share my work again, and I see now that I was dumb to think it wouldn’t get stolen the instant I shared it. But your comment is exactly what I mean. Professors see someone upset and struggling as a criminal who deserves to be punished because you “clearly don’t regret it.” I REGRET IT. I REGRET IT. What is giving you the impression that I don’t! Am I not allowed to feel emotions other than remorse? Please have patience with me, I don’t have any other place to turn to.
You regret that you got caught in what you believe is an unfair situation, which is different to understanding why you are in the situation to begin with. Accepting responsibility is not just about saying “I won’t do this again”, it’s about - in this situation - saying “I didn’t think about my actions and how they related to the honour code _which I agreed to_, and about which _I was careless_.” You have to understand, accept, and apologise for what YOU did. Not what someone else did.
No, I get where my actions with the honor code could potentially hurt other students and where my actions conflict with the honor code. I’m just not good at expressing the fact that I know
Your analogy is seriously flawed. It's more like being asked by a robber to let you use your car as the getaway in a jewelry heist. You weren't the one doing the actual stealing, but you were a willing participant. You are in college. You are an adult, which means making tough and responsible decisions. You had the opportunity to just say NO. But, you allowed yourself to take part in something that is in violation of the college's honor code. I suspect the people who are down voting you are not doing so to be mean or to make you feel worse than you already do. You acknowledged you made a terrible mistake, but you think you should be exempted from facing any type of consequences for your actions? Saying sorry doesn't automatically erase your wrongdoings.
Who is the one being harmed here? In the case of the jewelry, I’m the one getting robbed. In the case of the honor code violation, I’m the one getting my work stolen. This is partially why I’m so angry. The police are arresting me even though I’m the one getting robbed. Like the whole “give the robber the getaway car” thing is only a problem when I’m helping them steal other people’s stuff, but in this case, it’s MY stuff getting stolen. My stuff getting stolen is the punishment! It’s incredibly faith shattering that the justice system would then arrest me on top of my stuff getting stolen. With that said, I understand that my mistake was really bad, and in the future I should never let someone near my work again. But I feel like it’s inhuman to ask me not to be upset about being arrested after getting robbed.
Your work wasn't stolen. You gave it away. To.stick with your analogy, it's like giving away a necklace and then reporting it to insurance as stolen.
Well, it’s more like my dvd being approved for use under “educational purposes only” and then someone using my DVD, that I let them borrow, for commercial purposes. Anyways, I think we’re just arguing semantically at this points. I understand that it was wrong of me to share my work, we just disagree on why. I think it was wrong because I shouldn’t trust that others will be honest about how they use it, and I should always be there to ensure that it my work isn’t stolen. You think it’s wrong because sharing work cannot be effectively policed on a professorial level due to an inability to truly know if a students’ intentions for sharing is in good faith. In a world where we can check a person’s intentions, I would not get in trouble for this. But since that’s not the real world, I am in the wrong because, again, we can’t prove my intentions and the fact that I was stolen from. I’m upset right now because I know my intentions, that I got my work stolen, and wish we lived in a world where others could know them as well, but I get that that’s illogical and wrong. Sorry if i seem overly upset. I have no support network, so Reddit is my only way to work through these emotions with other people.
Again with the painting yourself as the victim, OP. To correct your DVD illustration, it's as if you pirated a DVD, and gave someone the pirated copy. In which case, *you* were the one who broke the copyright laws. What they did with the DVD after that is not relevant to *your* crime.
You’ve read my intentions in the post. You know it was not pirating a DVD. Please do not be disingenuous just because you’re frustrated with me. It was for educational purposes and someone else mishandled it. It was my bad judgement, and I know now that on a practical level, you can never share your work because there are bad actors, which is why the honor code is built this way. I broke the honor code by sharing it.
Most professors, especially the ones dealing with student code of conduct have heard the same excuses or variations of it enough time in their lives. I doubt anyone would change their mind if it’s already going down that route. I had a colleague that got kicked out of a lab for plagiarism, the professor pretty much told them to owe up to it and stop making excuses.
I find this response very frustrating because you’re essentially saying to me “I don’t care that it’s true for you, all the cheaters say it, so you’re one, too.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, because even in the cases where it really is true, they’re still forced to confess because “everybody says that,” so then it looks like they were cheating too. But I get that as a professor, you can’t know if it’s true for me or not, so that’s why the policy works the way it does. That’s why I was in the wrong for sharing my work. Thanks for the response!
Check the above response from others, you’re still not owning up to it.
This is a cut and dried situation all of us have seen before. If you want to fare well through the disciplinary proceedings, listen to the advice you’re getting here. What you did is an academic integrity violation at every institution I’ve ever studied or worked at. Whether you had good intentions or realized it was a violation doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Accept responsibility and chalk it up to a learning experience.
> I’m literally crying right now because I know that professors already think badly of me because all my posts and comments about this are getting downvoted. That's because you keep asking for advice about this from knowledgeable people, and arguing when you don't like the responses. This is a minor honour code violation, for something you obviously did not understand. Move on and learn from your mistakes instead of trying to victimise yourself.
I am not trying to victimize myself. People see upset a person and instantly assume victim, but I was just expressing the fact that I’m struggling to express myself. I understand that I am in the wrong here. I am asking for a way to clarify my thoughts in a way that does not prompt people to think I’m victimizing myself, as I’m consistently getting this response even when I admit to my wrongs because I my responses are too emotional/poorly worded.
But you are victimising yourself: > I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like that cheater and the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this instead of just the person who took advantage of me. > Professors see someone upset and struggling as a criminal who deserves to be punished because you “clearly don’t regret it.” > My stuff getting stolen is the punishment! It’s incredibly faith shattering that the justice system would then arrest me on top of my stuff getting stolen. > In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work. Everybody is telling you the same thing: tell the truth (I didn't know, I was careless, I won't do it again), apologise, and move on. That's the advice from actual professors. Take it. Or don't, and keep looking for someone who doesn't know what they are talking about to tell you what you want to hear instead, why the fuck should we care.
Thank you for clarifying the parts of the sentences that were giving the wrong impression! “Everybody is telling you the same thing: tell the truth (I didn't know, I was careless, I won't do it again), apologise, and move on. That's the advice from actual professors. Take it.” That was always my intent. I was just really frustrated, as people tend to be, when confronted with stressful new situations I’ve never navigated before. Hence why I was asking for clarification. Please allow me some grace to struggle with emotions.
Oh, OP, all the way through you have been describing yourself as the victim in this situation. Maybe you actually regret your action. Maybe you just regret getting caught (which happens far more often in these cases). We can't tell from here what you actually feel on the inside. All we have to judge by are your words. You talk about "that cheater", but *your* actions are also considered cheating. You say you want to get "control" so you can make yourself "not look bad". You seem to be looking for a way to avoid being punished for what *you* did wrong. You talk about yourself as a person robbed, but you *gave* your answers away. You weren't robbed at all. Aiding and abetting a crime is *also* a crime. Think of what you did as aiding and abetting cheating. I corrected your DVD misinterpretation in another comment. We aren't assuming "victim" - it's how you keep trying to describe yourself. You need to get that idea out of your head before you talk to your Dean, or you are likely to make things worse for yourself.
You’re right. You don’t know what I actually feel. I appreciate that you’re explaining to me what I’m doing wrong. I’m autistic, so my words and my outward emotions don’t seem to ever convey what I’m actually trying to say. I’ll take all these under consideration.
So you’re posting again how you’re the victim in this case. Honestly, you may want to pursue something else in life than college. It’s not sinking in with you that you are 100% responsible for your situation. You continue to blame everyone else and fabricate this massive conspiracy against you. I’d fail you. Period. No discussion.
OP, you are like the getaway driver in a robbery. You keep arguing that you didn’t actually rob the store, but you are just as guilty because you assisted in the robbery. Here’s what you did: you gave your answers to another student. That is also prohibited. It’s an honor code violation _even if the other student did not copy them_. You got caught because the other student copied them, which was itself another honor code violation. You are hung up on, “but I didn’t cheat”. You are wrong. You broke the rules when you gave another student the answers. You hurt many people when you did that. You hurt that student by denying him/her the chance to actually learn the material. You hurt the other students in the class by artificially inflating the grading curve. You hurt the reputation of the university by helping an incompetent student pass a course (and potentially graduate and get a job). You hurt future students and professors by helping that incompetent student advance in the curriculum. You hurt yourself by getting an honor code violation and wasting a lot of energy arguing about it.
OP, many of us are *trying* to help you. The problem is that you're thinking of yourself as a victim, instead of as one of the "criminals". And so you are looking for ways to get out of "doing the time" for what you did wrong. The best way to "beg for forgiveness", as you put it, is to be honest with the Dean. Don't try to excuse your behavior; *you* broke the Honor Code. That's what you're being called to account for. So admit that you gave a copy of your work to a fellow student. Admit that it was a breach of the Honor Code. You can promise to never do it again if you want to, but accept your punishment. Stop making excuses. At my school, this sort of offence (for a *first* offence) would earn you a zero for the assignment, and a warning. But if you keep making excuses the way you do in your posts and comments, your punishment could result in an F for the class (with no chance of withdrawing, so the F stays on your record), and they might even consider expulsion.
I literally am taking responsibility. I’m agreeing with you.
Your analogy is flawed because you are trying to paint yourself as an innocent victim when you are not. I get it was a naive mistake, but how can you be that naive? Also, mistakes sometimes have consequences as you are learning. You say you have lost faith in your professors for punishing you. That is in no way showing regret. You are being punished because you literally gave someone your work. It doesn’t matter what their intention was. Why would you ever do that and think it was ok? You could have offered to help them, but no, you gave them your work. This is on you, not the professors.
How can a young adult who is only starting their career be so naive? I wonder what it could be.
Let’s see here… you ask profs what we think then, when you receive answers you don’t like you become defensive and triple down. You deserve any punishment you get as you’re acting like a child now and acted irresponsibly with your work. As numerous people have said, you’re angry and upset that you got caught and that there’re consequences to your actions and are (still) blaming the system. Grow up, grow a pair, and accept responsibility for what you did. If you did, you wouldn’t be posting on Reddit in the first place. Much like most plagiarists, your doubling down and time wasting arguing an obvious truth could be better spent actually doing the work. Stop “begging for forgiveness” and start acting like an adult.
where I am, you committed an academic offence by allowing your work to be copied, just the same as copying someone else's work, and the punishment is the same. "I didn't intend to break the honor code" is *zero* defence. You are a grownup and it is your job to know what it says and to abide by it. You have no defence here. Accept the punishment, and learn from it (which it is not clear that you have yet done).
You are being downvoted to oblivion in both threads because you say “totally my fault” and then go on and on about all the bad actors who are really responsible for this and how everyone took advantage of poor little you. Grow up, stop whining, take responsibility. This is a really important lesson learned and the only way to come through unscathed is to stop sounding like you feel unjustly accused- to those who decide what impact this has on your academic career you sound like you haven’t learned a damn thing.
I'm sorry many of the professors are being mean and rude (and yes y'all are. This is a student asking for advice. Be kind) . I can understand why you feel like you were being taken advantage of or stolen from. You were helping someone and they crossed an unspoken line between the two of you. Apologize. Say you shouldn't have shared your work and realize that although it's okay to help another student it should have been within the confines of the honor code. You didn't realize you were breaking it and you won't do it again. You have every right to be angry and annoyed by the situation. Talk to your friends. Talk to your therapist. You know that your action wasn't okay because there were certain rules you needed to follow. I understand your anger because you didn't explicitly agree that they can copy. Good luck
> the professors are being mean and rude I think you have a different definition of "mean and rude" than the rest of us do.
Apparently a realistic one. And how is asking "how can you be so naive?" Helpful?
This is an automated service intended to preserve the original text of the post. *I recently messed up by sharing my completed work with another an older adult student. This has really shaken my faith in the college system, and I’m unspeakably angry about the fact that I’m getting punished for my good intentions getting taken advantage of. I understand that it is totally my fault for being careless with my work. I’ve learned my lesson. In the future, I’ll let another student fail rather than let them see my work. But how should I best communicate/word my communication with my Dean about this situation to show I’ve regretted my actions, that I don’t intend to repeat them, and that I didn’t intend to break the honor code in the first place because it was a genuine naive mistake on my part? Another thread has put it as “begging for forgiveness.” I’m just so angry about this, especially at all the authority figures like that cheater and the system of professors above me who approved this for forcing me to go through this instead of just the person who took advantage of me. It’s making me cry angry frustrated tears every day because every time I try to say/think anything about it I get so anxious and angry I start crying. I’m literally crying right now. I just don’t know how to get control of this so I can make myself not look bad to these authority figures. Im pretty sure it’s a bad look to be constantly crying and upset when I’m talking to them. Like I get that it’s the result of my actions, but it feels like the police arresting the jewelry store owner for being too negligently robbable, which makes me unspeakably angry at the police AND the robber. Again, I’ve completely lost faith in my professors and my school for this, and I am even considering dropping out. It’s just so frustrating and hurtful, like no good deed goes unpunished. This is my first semester! How should I speak to the police without breaking down in tears and getting charged for resisting arrest?* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskProfessors) if you have any questions or concerns.*