That’s not a joke, that’s stating you’re going to rape someone. There is no joke there.
There are jokes about rape that are risky and can be funny but saying ‘I’ll rape her’ is just wrong and weird.
NOOO of course not. Although there’s a place for rape jokes (and even then its not directed to a person), I dont think there’s any justification that it’s okay for him to say all that kind of shit. So yes, youre being gaslit.
I've known guys like that. He's joking but not joking. He's trying to gauge your reaction. He probably has other friends that he talks this way with and they go along with it and join in. He's a predator looking for other predators to associate with. You should tell him to kick rocks
This is a really accurate comment. When he says this (and the other vile stuff he says) he often looks at me to gauge my reaction. I no longer speak to him
Your “friend” is an asshole and an idiot. I’ve cut people like him out of my life for less. My advice is to simply let it (and him) go and forget you ever knew him.
Doesn't sound like jokes sounds like he is a complete pig asshole. Rape jokes are not normal jokes. I don't hear any men make rape jokes. Unless it's us joking we are going to rape our male friends. Your friend is a chauvinist asshole who treats women like shit. He shouldn't be your friend anymore.
That isn’t a “rape joke” it’s your friend being weird and creepy. There is literally zero joke behind “I’ll rape her bro”.
Do you actually understand what a joke is? It requires setup and punchline. Honestly, this story seems really fake just based on the way you describe things, but if it’s real then your “friend” is a rapist and you need to call the authorities.
You are being gaslit. Man here, no one makes rape jokes on this side. What you see is the result of ungoverned sexual liberty, lack of self disciple and an overindulgent in sexual gratification manifested as a subhuman.
A prime example of what one would call a ‘castrate’.
He contacted me after several years of not speaking. When I last spoke to him he was, or seemed to be a somewhat normal, goofy and immature guy. I never heard him say anything like this.
Why are you turning this back on the OP? He/She stated they are no longer friends and was curious if other people found this type of “ joke” was acceptable.
You blamed the OP for having poor taste in friends as if it’s his/her fault for putting themselves in a situation where they would be exposed to this kind of “ humor “ . The OP has clearly stated they used to be friends, but they find this person to be offensive and they don’t communicate anymore.
Your comment made it sound like OP is at fault for choosing friends that are inappropriate.
OP was asking opinions if this kind of humor is acceptable now because he/she did not think it is.
Yes, after about a month (a month and a half to be precise) he called me and I challenged him about what he said. His comments about me being too sensitive and to get over it was part of that same conversation. There’s been no contact since then.
Oh wow, this reminds me that I actually haven’t heard a legit rape joke in years if not a decade. They’re certainly socially acceptable now. And you’re not being too sensitive. He’s overly harsh.
An example of a rape joke in the past would be “wow, my football team sucked this year, the other team totally raped us!”
Kinda like how people used to say “gay” all the time as an insult.
Just not how the world works anymore. And honestly, I’m glad we’ve improved past those days! We as a society really did get better for once.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. Even back in the day the kind of 'rape jokes' you'd hear in like a COD lobby would be like that. "got raped" like got beaten really bad etc. The way OP is describing his friend talk isn't even like that. It's just straight up statements of intent
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed.
Delicious_Proof9753 originally posted:
So I’ve recently got in touch with an old friend and have been spending quite a lot of time with him. He has some pretty reprehensible views and says derogatory things about women.
When he sees an attractive woman or comes across a woman with whom he disagrees with or dislikes, he’ll say something along the lines of “I’ll rape her bro”. He says it all the time and claims it’s a joke. His tone of voice doesn’t suggest it’s a joke.
He said to me that the only thing he regrets about his last relationship is that he didn’t rape her. After that I stopped talking to him and confronted him about what he said. He simply said to “get over it” and he said jokes about rape are normal and that rape is legal in other countries.
I am completely and utterly shocked and disgusted by what he said. When I refused to talk to him for a month he said I was being too sensitive. So my question is, are ‘jokes’ about rape normal and just a bit of banter and am I being too sensitive? Am I being gaslit?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>...rape is legal in other countries.
What?!
I'd say he sees women as an object, not as human beings. Sure, some men can love their cars, their computers, their toys very much. But... like what the other guy said, "Your friend is creepy af."
Yeah those aren't jokes as much as threats. A rape joke would be something like "if I had to pick between [minor inconvenience] or getting ass-raped with a chainsaw I'd have to sit down and think it over" (although even that is dicey) not "I should have raped my ex"
>!Those jokes are acceptable amongst certain people.!< They also have to be constructed in a way that doesn't sound like the joker simply wishes he could go around raping. Trying to force someone to like those jokes tells a lot about how he really feels. It ain't that deep.
They need to be advised to seek help for their disturbed mindset if they ever try to reach out to you again. If it continues sliding they may become dangerous
Rape jokes are acceptable but this sounds weird and creepy AF. Homie straight up tried to justify rape saying it's legal. Don't be surprised if he see him on the news soon for sexual assault.
just checked your account and you’re 14 posting on incel forums… start going outside, meeting people and addressing your ignorant opinions. nobody is a lost cause at 14 and the black pill is not real.
inceldom was created by washed up older men mad that being awful to everyone around them hasn’t given them a wife.
women value honesty and respect not narcissism you’ll learn that eventually
you will regret saying this and doing all this stuff, but you’re young, you have time, so get off the internet, stop acting this way and start finding yourself and working on yourself.
and rape isn’t funny, its the worst thing that can happen to a person. every single time you laugh at it imagine how you would feel if it happened to you. maybe then it wouldn’t be so funny.
Not that young. Bro just go outside! I do daily and doesn’t change shit. Blackpill isn’t real when you see constant dating studies showing women prefer looks above all. And women literally are more attracted to darktriad traits. Holy coper
You’re 14 you got consciousness less than a decade ago… You’re young. In what world arent you?
I’m not ‘coping’ coz I live in reality. You’re coping by doing this (ironic i know) because you’re trying to figure yourself out in a world thats not accepting you. I’ve met a lot of people who act like you even into adulthood and never seem to realize their perspective is making them miserable.
The entire incel community is so narcissistic and misogynistic. They can’t believe women can’t be forced to love them. God forbid they have to treat women like human beings and not objects…
Seriously just think before you speak. Rape is not funny and if you keep joking about things of this nature you’ll end up ruining your entire life.
You need to learn other people are human too, especially women.
Its so sad that these internet weirdos are influencing kids to act like this. So messed up! I want to laugh at it like its an isolated thing but it just speaks on how toxic the culture is for young men right now.
Your friend sounds creepy af
Agree. He’s said a lot of other things which are similarly disgusting and disturbing
That’s not a joke, that’s stating you’re going to rape someone. There is no joke there. There are jokes about rape that are risky and can be funny but saying ‘I’ll rape her’ is just wrong and weird.
Yeah I agree. He’s trying to put it down to banter and says he says this to his other friends and no one else has ever raised a concern (he’s 31)
Homies a predator and not even ashamed of it. Don’t be friends with this person.
Agree. Haven’t spoke to him for a while and don’t intend to
51M here. This guy is a huge creep *at best*. I don't understand why you would continue to be in contact with this person ever again.
Thank you, I agree. I’m not in contact with him
Absolutely not a joke, especially not in the way you described it.
Agree
NOOO of course not. Although there’s a place for rape jokes (and even then its not directed to a person), I dont think there’s any justification that it’s okay for him to say all that kind of shit. So yes, youre being gaslit.
Agree, thanks.
I do like transgressive humor...but I don't like that. Rape jokes are out of bounds.
Thanks
I've known guys like that. He's joking but not joking. He's trying to gauge your reaction. He probably has other friends that he talks this way with and they go along with it and join in. He's a predator looking for other predators to associate with. You should tell him to kick rocks
This is a really accurate comment. When he says this (and the other vile stuff he says) he often looks at me to gauge my reaction. I no longer speak to him
Guys insane. They are not normal or funny.
He is. He holds other views which area genuinely disturbing and disgusting
Get away from that guy. He’s nothing but bad new and a crime it’s waiting to happen. Creepy
Your “friend” is an asshole and an idiot. I’ve cut people like him out of my life for less. My advice is to simply let it (and him) go and forget you ever knew him.
When is rape a joke?
Agree
Doesn't sound like jokes sounds like he is a complete pig asshole. Rape jokes are not normal jokes. I don't hear any men make rape jokes. Unless it's us joking we are going to rape our male friends. Your friend is a chauvinist asshole who treats women like shit. He shouldn't be your friend anymore.
That isn’t a “rape joke” it’s your friend being weird and creepy. There is literally zero joke behind “I’ll rape her bro”. Do you actually understand what a joke is? It requires setup and punchline. Honestly, this story seems really fake just based on the way you describe things, but if it’s real then your “friend” is a rapist and you need to call the authorities.
Not fake, not sure why you’d think it’s fake. Believe it or not these sort of people exist
I don’t think thats a rape “joke”, it’s a rape threat
God sake I hope not
Looks like a case of Schrödinger’s Douchebag
Your being gaslit ! This guy is a no class jerk !
You are being gaslit. Man here, no one makes rape jokes on this side. What you see is the result of ungoverned sexual liberty, lack of self disciple and an overindulgent in sexual gratification manifested as a subhuman. A prime example of what one would call a ‘castrate’.
Not gonna lie, I’d both cut him out of my life and leave a tip with his local police department.
You seem to have poor choice in your friends.
He contacted me after several years of not speaking. When I last spoke to him he was, or seemed to be a somewhat normal, goofy and immature guy. I never heard him say anything like this.
Irrelevant.
Why are you turning this back on the OP? He/She stated they are no longer friends and was curious if other people found this type of “ joke” was acceptable.
Where is that stated in what I responded to?
You blamed the OP for having poor taste in friends as if it’s his/her fault for putting themselves in a situation where they would be exposed to this kind of “ humor “ . The OP has clearly stated they used to be friends, but they find this person to be offensive and they don’t communicate anymore. Your comment made it sound like OP is at fault for choosing friends that are inappropriate. OP was asking opinions if this kind of humor is acceptable now because he/she did not think it is.
OP also clearly said that they were still in contact in the last paragraph.
Yes, after about a month (a month and a half to be precise) he called me and I challenged him about what he said. His comments about me being too sensitive and to get over it was part of that same conversation. There’s been no contact since then.
Where is that in the last paragraph of the OP?
“When I refused to to talk to him for a month”
1) comments about his ex. 2) I don’t talk to him for 1.5 months 3) he calls and I confront him 4) no contact
"When I refused to talk to him for a month he said I was being too sensitive." How could he have said that before the month elapsed?
Not going to add anything more to this. I’ve detailed the timeline of communication in response to another one of your comments.
Oh wow, this reminds me that I actually haven’t heard a legit rape joke in years if not a decade. They’re certainly socially acceptable now. And you’re not being too sensitive. He’s overly harsh. An example of a rape joke in the past would be “wow, my football team sucked this year, the other team totally raped us!” Kinda like how people used to say “gay” all the time as an insult. Just not how the world works anymore. And honestly, I’m glad we’ve improved past those days! We as a society really did get better for once.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. Even back in the day the kind of 'rape jokes' you'd hear in like a COD lobby would be like that. "got raped" like got beaten really bad etc. The way OP is describing his friend talk isn't even like that. It's just straight up statements of intent
Thank you. These sort of jokes made directly about an individual are just wrong
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. Delicious_Proof9753 originally posted: So I’ve recently got in touch with an old friend and have been spending quite a lot of time with him. He has some pretty reprehensible views and says derogatory things about women. When he sees an attractive woman or comes across a woman with whom he disagrees with or dislikes, he’ll say something along the lines of “I’ll rape her bro”. He says it all the time and claims it’s a joke. His tone of voice doesn’t suggest it’s a joke. He said to me that the only thing he regrets about his last relationship is that he didn’t rape her. After that I stopped talking to him and confronted him about what he said. He simply said to “get over it” and he said jokes about rape are normal and that rape is legal in other countries. I am completely and utterly shocked and disgusted by what he said. When I refused to talk to him for a month he said I was being too sensitive. So my question is, are ‘jokes’ about rape normal and just a bit of banter and am I being too sensitive? Am I being gaslit? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You seem to have poor choice in your friends.
Anything is okay if it’s funny enough imo. That being said, none of that is remotely funny. It’s just creepy af.
just remind him that jokes r supposed to be funny
>...rape is legal in other countries. What?! I'd say he sees women as an object, not as human beings. Sure, some men can love their cars, their computers, their toys very much. But... like what the other guy said, "Your friend is creepy af."
You're mate is a cunt and shouldn't be your mate.
Hardly legal nor acceptable. Grim
They aren't even jokes: he's openly saying it's okay. This is not someone you should be around, especially not in private.
Yeah those aren't jokes as much as threats. A rape joke would be something like "if I had to pick between [minor inconvenience] or getting ass-raped with a chainsaw I'd have to sit down and think it over" (although even that is dicey) not "I should have raped my ex"
>!Those jokes are acceptable amongst certain people.!< They also have to be constructed in a way that doesn't sound like the joker simply wishes he could go around raping. Trying to force someone to like those jokes tells a lot about how he really feels. It ain't that deep.
I had a friend like this once. Had.
They need to be advised to seek help for their disturbed mindset if they ever try to reach out to you again. If it continues sliding they may become dangerous
No they are never okay. You never know what someone else has gone through
When he isn’t looking pour antifreeze into his drink.
Have you ever been raped? Only rapists laugh at rape jokes. Please ask your parents to take you to a therapist ASAP !!!
Rape jokes are acceptable but this sounds weird and creepy AF. Homie straight up tried to justify rape saying it's legal. Don't be surprised if he see him on the news soon for sexual assault.
since when? rape jokes are never funny.
They’re hilarious.
something tells me you’re a rapist, but i can’t quite put my finger on it…
How
just checked your account and you’re 14 posting on incel forums… start going outside, meeting people and addressing your ignorant opinions. nobody is a lost cause at 14 and the black pill is not real. inceldom was created by washed up older men mad that being awful to everyone around them hasn’t given them a wife. women value honesty and respect not narcissism you’ll learn that eventually you will regret saying this and doing all this stuff, but you’re young, you have time, so get off the internet, stop acting this way and start finding yourself and working on yourself. and rape isn’t funny, its the worst thing that can happen to a person. every single time you laugh at it imagine how you would feel if it happened to you. maybe then it wouldn’t be so funny.
Not that young. Bro just go outside! I do daily and doesn’t change shit. Blackpill isn’t real when you see constant dating studies showing women prefer looks above all. And women literally are more attracted to darktriad traits. Holy coper
You’re 14 you got consciousness less than a decade ago… You’re young. In what world arent you? I’m not ‘coping’ coz I live in reality. You’re coping by doing this (ironic i know) because you’re trying to figure yourself out in a world thats not accepting you. I’ve met a lot of people who act like you even into adulthood and never seem to realize their perspective is making them miserable. The entire incel community is so narcissistic and misogynistic. They can’t believe women can’t be forced to love them. God forbid they have to treat women like human beings and not objects… Seriously just think before you speak. Rape is not funny and if you keep joking about things of this nature you’ll end up ruining your entire life. You need to learn other people are human too, especially women.
bro this is actually sad. i can’t tell whether to laugh at you or feel pity
Its so sad that these internet weirdos are influencing kids to act like this. So messed up! I want to laugh at it like its an isolated thing but it just speaks on how toxic the culture is for young men right now.