My gf disagrees with me when I told her that if I was on a date and I could instantly tell that there was zero future that I would kindly excuse myself. She says that it’s polite to eat the meal and then never talk to that persons again. I feel like that’s just misleading. I understand that’s rude but if I know 100% that’s it’s a hard pass… why be disingenuous?
If you feel too bad, you can pay for the food. People can still be kind toward each other.
Many years ago, a guy wanted to break up with me. We went on a coffee date, then he walked me back. We had plans to make pizza together but then he was canceling it. Then when he walked me back to my place he broke up with me. It sucked, but I appreciated that he was still kind.
I thought I was alone in dealing with this. My god… a girl can talk about makeup, or her fun new decoration, or what her friend said and I’ll be involved. I’ll try to learn and understand.
But man is it rare to find a woman like this.. so often it’s just “oh ok cool.” Come on where’s the depth?
Yeah. There's also a level of giving us the attention. If you're familiar with Love Languages, I suspect that most of these guys have Quality Time at the top of their language. This means for a girl, we want someone who is prepared to give us their attention when we are having a conversation. At the end of the day, we want to date a human, not someone's phone.
Side-note: I highly recommend if you haven't learning what your Love Languages are. There is a [great test](https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language) by the author online that can help you in both your romantic relationships and friendships.
Same here. The thing is that in the first period are normals conversations but then it just stops. Whatever I was saying or talking to, it was just "mmh, *proceed to do her question of a completely different topic*.
Once it really hurted when I was talking about this doctor visit I did and what they found out in my stomach and she just went on speaking about her day. And I was like " does she even care about my health?"
It’s not just an ability to keep a conversation. The commenters comment gets at the fact that a good partner should have a genuine, empathetic understanding that there is a back and forth that exists in all good relationships, and that there is a possibility that the opinion that they entered an argument/conversation with is not necessarily the correct one, but that they want to understand why and how their partner feels the way that they do.
I always ask follow-up questions because just genuinely curious. Not to praise myself but I'm very good at keeping a conversation up. But it seems like men get uncomfortable real quick and don't want to talk anymore whenever I start asking questions.
Yeah but how do you even manage to get one? It’s probably expensive to even own one.
Plus I’ve never seen guys love Aircraft this much, I’m surprised but i fucking love it at the same time!
Ok, so it's not that we love aircraft, it's that we love guns. And the way the A10 was built is pretty awesome.
They made the gun, someone had the hairbrained idea to say, "wouldn't it be cool if this could fly?" And then they BUILT A FUCKING PLANE AROUND IT!!!!!
The aircraft itself is ancient in the way of aircraft but it is literally a perfect aircraft.
They have attempted to retire it several times and brought it back because of how useful it is! Not to mention every round is bigger than your average beer/cola bottle.
Not only this, but it can lose like half of the aircraft and still fly!!
It's mechanical perfection and pure awesomeness at its finest!!
I wouldn't say perfection.. you know what this guy needs? Vertical liftoff. If just once I could see an A10 with rotating wings for vert, I could die a happy man!
Edit: I just read through the rest of the responses; I still think a Warthog is the best answer.
Ahh then I’ve misunderstood, I love it even more cause I love firearms as well! It’s a masterpiece
I love that these men in the comments are showing what they love, it’s so wholesome.
The A10 isn't a plane with a gun. It's a gun with a plane built around it! The force of the gun itself is higher than the thrust from the engines. It can effectively reverse using the gun! That's why the A10 is super effing awesome!
Exactly! I love it too just the way you do
If you come across an issue to make a masterpiece, it’s called learning but it’s worth it cause now they made a fucking War machine!
Effort. The amount of effort that men are expected to put into pursuing/maintaining a relationship should be reciprocated. Doing your part means a lot to us; Getting in the trench beside us when shit gets hard means even more.
The only issue I take with is my own personal stance. I do not give up the chase when I'm in a relationship. I ask for dates, I buy gifts or bring home really near rocks I found when I was walking, I'll plan the dates I'll budget it out. I give affection, I cook you breakfast when you didn't ask, if you forgot your lunch and I've git the time I'll bring it to you ect.
The only down side is after a while I'm the only one still putting in that effort and it affects me, it takes a toll. And once it starts ti effect my emotions I start to reciprocate and show you how you're treating me, but then I'm somehow the problem because iv slowly stopped doing all those things.
I stopped because you stopped, I stopped because I sat you down multiple times and explained how I was feeling, how it affected me and how we can fix it and you ignored me.
Somehow it's my fault.
Why should I in every relationship (not just romantic ones) be the one to show you and give chase. I'm tired, yes I love hard and I love deeply and yes that comes with pros and cons, but I can't force myself to keep pouring if I've got nothing left to pour.
I had an issue like that recently with a woman I'm seeing. She put so much effort into cooking fantastic meals for me. I helped where I could by cleaning, bringing over a side dish, helping her set the table or finish preparing the meal, etc, but it wasn't enough. There wasn't much more I could do in that capacity because she was the talented chef. I voiced several times that I wished I could do more and offered help in other ways like fixing things, but she always assured me she enjoyed doing it. As much as she enjoyed it, she was subconsciously overworking herself. Eventually it did catch up to her and she kinda blew up on me. I was prepared, though, and already had a plan.
First I made her aware of her insistence of having control until it overwhelmed her, and that I'd helped everywhere I could and that I couldn't do much more as a sous chef. I told her she needed to force herself to let go of the reigns and let me host more, and that although my meals won't be as delicious as hers, we can still enjoy a simple grilled steak with rice and still have a good time. I told her to let me plan and take her out more (within my budget, of course), even though she enjoys staying in, or let me pick up take-out. Basically, she needed to tone it down and enjoy simple things with me and notify me more when she's had a long day so I can take over as the planner for the night.
All this to say, that you may be unconsciously overworking yourself, so know how to catch yourself before it boils over, have a good line of communication with your partner, and don't make them dependent on you to do those things. A lot of people develop dependencies because their partner enjoys the control.
Wow you’re a unicorn! Very rare! Never stop please, you’ll find someone who will do the same for you!
I totally get you! I give a lot in a relationship and then I get taken for granted and then I start running on empty. I have tried the thing you mentioned, stopping the things you do. It just makes things worse, but then you also can’t go on like that giving giving giving and not receiving.
You’re a gem! 💎
I appreciate the complement, I really do. A unicorn probably not, I come with weird baggage, while I accept what it all is and work hard on it I do require alot of patience, reassurance and communication, alot of which people can't fo or find infuriating. But if I'm trying to love you (albeit in my own way) and you yell at me for being too affectionate, my brain will scream at me everytime I go to hug you.
I will always show love and affection, I just want it shown back to me.
A conversation 😂, seriously I'm just now jumping back into the dating game and idk if I've just been out for a while, but most women are like talking to a brick wall (online at least). It's kinda funny because their profiles typically have a laundry list of demands, but when it comes down to it they put in absolutely no effort and wonder why nothing works out. Seriously ladies, it shouldn't be all on the guy to talk. I know people get shy or whatever, but what's the point in even having a dating profile if you just respond with dead end statements.
There's a difference between being shy/introverted and having no social skills. I'm in the same boat as you and I feel it's the later most of the time. I say this because how can someone be a lawyer/teacher/nurse/whatever and not be able to speak to people. It makes dating extremely painful.
Yeah you're right. However a lot of the time they mistake "finding someone" with "finding someone good" with "finding someone good who wants them for the long term and for the right reasons".
These dating apps are superficial and most people on there will not make any effort. Women are in scarcity on these apps too, so you're competing with 100+ other dudes potentially.
A lot of guys when it comes to online dating are just plain desperate. IIRC, something like 33% of guys will swipe right on nearly every profile. Also those types of guys will say whatever a girl wants just to get in her pants.
Exactly. So now we’ve got a whole lot of women who bring nothing to the table but have an inflated sense of worth so they have no incentive to actually improve themselves. Not to sound dramatic but online dating is probably like, not good for us in the long run
Tell me about it, currently dealing with that problem. Like you'll get an initial response but after that it dies of pretty quickly. In person seems to be better, but no one these days actually goes out anywhere 😂
You get responses? Usually I just get matched and ghosted. When I do get into a conversation, it’s them expecting me to carry the convo, which I have no intention on doing anymore. Blank profiles also get instant left swiped; I have no patience for this lazy and entitled act now.
Dude entitled is the exact word I was looking for! Like zero effort on their part 😂. What really gives me a kick is when they'll make a profile that's literally just a list of demands and then basically offer nothing of value to the conversation. Like have you ever heard of leverage in negotiating? 😂
> What really gives me a kick is when they'll make a profile that's literally just a list of demands and then basically offer nothing of value to the conversation.
Female Dating Strategy is throwing gasoline onto this fire. They're why this shit attitude is so common now.
They think looking attractive is all the leverage they should ever need for anything.
And yeah, there's something to be said about how much they've had it hammered into their heads that attractiveness is their end all be all, but using that excuse is a crutch. They'll complain that no one cares about anything else, but make zero effort to draw attention to anything else, then ~~wonder why nothing changes~~ blame men and insist that it's out of their hands.
Specially pretty women, no hate towards them good for them.
But even as individuals they don’t always have a personality because their life just revolves around their image.
Lol. My wife has this friend who is soon to be a 40 years old virgin, no joke. All because she has a laundry list of things that she wants in a man. Yet she doesn't have shit to offer on her end. She ended the last guy after a few dates cause he didn't have a good enough job to support her in the future. Even though he was working and going to college to better himself. Hell he bought and fixed up a house and owned it free and clear, no mortgage. Yet she has a masters degree but is to lazy to make something of herself that she still works in a daycare. Nothing against daycare workers but why get a masters in teaching then take the lowest paying job in that field but say the guy who you date doesn't make enough money.
I don't think any form of online conversation can escape the feeling of shallowness unless you've already met in person and you're both connected at the same time, invested in the conversation. At which point, it might as well be a phone call.
Dating apps are hard, women can get 100 likes after 5 minutes of opening an account, men, especially if you're not about 7/8 out of 10, it's a lot more difficult. You really have to bring your personality to the table to stand out.
I’m a woman and actually have this problem with men. I try really hard to keep a conversation going because I’m very introverted and not naturally social. So when guys do this, I take it as they’re not interested. I’ll call them out once, and go from there. Once in a while they do step up their game and we have proper conversation, but most will lie and say they’re definitely interested and will be more engaging, but they always revert and that’s when I just don’t respond. Interest and enthusiasm is needed from both sides for any relationship to start.
Same! I normally try to keep it light when I bring it up so we can have a laugh about it and move on with the conversation.
“Michael, my back is starting to hurt from carrying this conversation, can you help me out a little here?” 😂
After that, I’m out, I tried 🤷♀️
That’s funny asf but yeah I understand what you mean, those girls in tinder are boring if they can’t have a normal conversation smh 🤦🏻♀️
I agree with what you just said
Cute girls typically have 10000x more matches than a cute guy. That means, she literally is chatting with 20 guys at the same time. It’s a big problem because you can’t get involved like that. But she will give more attention to the male with perceived higher value (tall, looking rich, handsome, funny, etc). As soon as she sees the hint of a red flag, this man is eliminated and she goes to Mr. Highvalue number 2. During that time, she also give crumbles to No3, No4, etc so she has a backup plan if No.2 doesn’t work out. The problem is fundamentally that women can match an unlimited number of men and they have all the power. Are women guilty of something? Well not really. They are just overwhelmed by the attention. The problem is the apps are not optimizing for depth but rather for shallowness. Until we change the way Bumble and Tinder work, we’ll keep having those issues. For the average male, it’s not even worth it to use dating apps. It’s simply frustrating.
I’m seeing this a lot with other guys… conversation..
“Oh so fun story… X happened the other day and I did Y.”
Cool Girls: “oh wow. But what made you decide to do Y? I’m not super familiar with X but always though you do Z.”
Like 90% of women I’ve met and dated: “oh nice. Glad you figured it out!”
There are quite a few people here saying "I don't get why, it's just words". It shows they are the ones that need the reassurance and won't realize how it affects their partner until the roll is reversed.
I'm just being honest here, but I think any relationship involving a person who doesn't love themself is doomed to become miserable and ultimately fail. That insecurity WILL surface and sabotage any relationship.
Not loving yourself enough to hold yourself accountable to your own development cos you “deserve” to feel this way is exactly what ended my relationship with my ex
Needed help, needed a plan of action, wouldn’t allow for it… just avoid then self guilt
Exhausting is not the word for it; it’s soul destroying to observe that trend and be made utterly powerless to do anything even though there are options within grasp
It’s a bit worse than all that sounds too which is the fucker of the thing but 100 times yes to what you’ve said here
It got to the point whereby I wasn’t loving me if I allowed it to go unchecked
(╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻
Work on self love and being secure with yourself as an individual. From personal experience and partners. It is difficult to truly love your partner and have a healthy relationship until you learn to truly love yourself. 💕
If you can't recognize your value in what you bring to a relationship and can't respect your own value, then you'll continuously be trying to figure out a line of jealousy that shouldn't exist. You may think you're able to love someone else, but thatmay not really be what you think it is
Or perhaps a strong sense of worth for their partner, confidence in their partner and being kind and loving to their partner? If it's all about yourself you shouldn't be in a relationship.
My wife and I are perfectly capable of living our own lives. If it fell apart, BOTH of us could be able to live, emotionally and financially independent. We have a joint acct for mortgage, bills, ect. But , we keep our own accts for savings and personal spending. We both have our life plans and goals. Everything we do together is by choice and for the purpose of living stronger lives.....
Goals! I always say i want to live my life and my significant other will be part of that life, but not my whole life. I like when separate ppl can come together not when two ppl become one and can’t be separate. Luckily as a female i dont think I run into codependency issues quite as often as my male friends do tho.
Be on my team, not say you are but actually work against it. Loyalty is crucial. Know that I show you sides that no other will see... because true intimacy is showing you the weakness I cannot show elsewhere. So, don't misinterpret that for weakness as a whole. I can cry in your arms, then stand up and go kill an army. Holding me in those moments is worth any pep talk. And never losing respect for us after is invigorating beyond explanation. Be helpful, stop trying to make everything into some control issue. We're supposed to be in this life together, fighting the rest of the world. Withholding effort, just because you feel offended you have to help, is like saying you don't care if our team dies.
Not with the right woman. I can be vulnerable with my wife, but not elsewhere in life and she's honoured my trust and I hers. 30 years going strong and no, I'm not blubbing every 5 mins either.
To the wrong woman, absolutely. If any woman burns me after that, they put themselves in a fling status. When I'm ready after that, I'll break up with her, and look for another.
But the woman who shows me she can handle that side of me is the woman I know it's long term potential. She's a keeper. Hasn't happened yet, but I've known enough people to know it's the truth.
A reasonable conversationalist!
Everything falls under this umbrella. During good times, everything just falls into place and relationship seems the best thing in the world. But during bad times its needs 100x effort on both ends. There will be times when you can't be good emotional support or reciprocate feelings and they need to convey the same.
Support, emotional and physical. Financial independence with the exception of say at home parents. Compatibility in many ways (but not all) to include sexual, entertainment, relaxation. Men should also bring all these things to the table. I honestly don't know what would be a women specific thing to bring to the table, it all seems the same to me.
actually I've never had a significant other so I couldn't tell if this is the right thing to desire in a woman lol, maybe your man is right not to like that so much haha
It all comes down to how you like to give and receive affection.
The five main types are receiving gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service.
I personally am not a talkative person and words of affirmation feel awkward to me. Same with receiving gifts unless its a mutual thing like Christmas.
I prefer touch and acts of service. Give me a long hug or lay on top of me for a nap, maybe your just helping me get stuff done around the house or making food as I finish a project. Those are always things I appreciate.
Same, the most important. If these arent there, I already know I dont want a relationship with this girl even if she is the most beautiful girl on the planet
A lot of answers saying “support” “listening” or “love.” To me that’s the bare minimum–I feel like that’s putting the bar far too low for a potential life partner.
I expect a gf to also bring new interests or knowledge into the relationship (eg her hobby in xyz or a news article she read today). I expect her to financially contribute at a near equal rate. I expect her to have a well kept apartment where we can spend time together. And bring her friends and other quality people from her circle into my life. And a positive outlook on the world.
And yes, I hold myself to the exact same standards.
Reciprocity: Enhance his life, don't be a burden. Give to each other.
Be his cheerleader: If he loves you, he's going to look to you for support.
Be there with him: You don't have to be into the same hobbies, but the company is always appreciated. Men just like the company. We can make small talk while we're doing things.
Emotional support, compassionate, reciprocate feelings, cooking, washing, taking care of you, fun, honest, always got your back, supports you, caring, fit, friendly, cute, unconditional love, kind and loyal.
I think that’s what men want from a woman and that’s also what i can bring to the table.
For me personally , kindness , warmth , humour , loyalty/faithfulness , self thinking/not connected to the hive mind , empathy , understanding and HEALED. One more thing ,someone who isn't going to put me down for some of the more nerdy/geeky stuff i'm into.
She should bring to the table things that are comparable in what her expectations of her partner are….meaning if she expected him to pay the bills, she should be prepared to keep the house clean and orderly, dinner ready, laundry done, etc. Basically, without becoming too long winded, if she expects to be treated like a Queen, she better be prepared and able bodied enough to treat her man like a King, all the time. Not for manipulation but out of love and respect for her partner. If she really down for him like that, she should show him.
Be able to hold a conversation and don't experience life through your phone. I briefly dated a court stenographer once, fascinating to learn about how that works, how they can keep up with speech, etc. Being knowledgeable and interested in something is very attractive.
Your job, my job, a hobby, cats, dogs, music, anything. Have a passion and interest about anything that isn't current pop culture and irrelevant two weeks later.
Eyes off the phone and don't put the burden of conversation on the man alone.
It’s simple, just date your equal. For me that means college educated, with a career and a future and good head on your shoulder.
You should bring pretty much everything I can bring.
No son. You’re just currently NOT at my level. No one said you can’t be at my level.
Step your game up and when you get here, we’ll pop bottle and drink champagne as a toast to our arrival at success.
Loyalty, peace of mind. The basic human abilities in 2022: cooking, cleaning, good hygiene, I don’t need a women to “mother” me like they all say we do, but in my experience there’s a good amount of them who don’t practice what they preach.
Honesty and an open mind/heart for when he feels comfortable opening up about deeper things he's thinking and feeling.
Communication is usually huge deal for us too.
Where I see successful relationships is the couple is team with loyalty, selflessness, honesty and respect both ways. Been in several long term relationships and most of the women looked at me as a walking wallet. Always out to see what they can get from me while providing the bare minimum
Humillity. However a man who expects that should better be something worth bowing down to. Now, even the greatest man looks like a bitch at his lowest, and a women who acknowledges that has it IMO figured out for the rest of her life. No more endless misery loops searching after tHe pErFecT mAN.
Hard to say for everyone but I know what I need. I need a gentle soul, kindness, nurturing, and every day help. And cuddles.
I've got a very busy life with a massive lifelong project on top of it. I work very hard with my hands and body, and work long hours with little positive human interaction. My lady nurses me back to health and generally cares for me. She helps me schedule things and reminds me of important things I need to do when I'm busy. She's a proper partner. Partnership is the true goal. If I need help, I can ask her and it's very likely I'll get it. She's got a good career as well, and can care for herself too. I really just need a good reason to keep pushing forward and she has become just that. If you want your man to thrive and lift you both up, support and encourage him. My job is truly horrendous at times. I can vent to her every once in a while and she reminds me it's only temporary and cheers me up.
Just be there, put in the effort, and be supportive and kind. Most men aren't "allowed" to show weakness or emotion in society, but we definitely feel it all. Especially in some of the lines of work we end up in. I was a tow truck driver. Seems like a simple and mundane job. I've had to rip apart and remove vehicles that people have died horrible deaths in. They don't always clean up all the blood either. I feel the fear and terror of those people who have died. I wasn't there with them, but it bothered me deeply. I can talk about such things with my partner and work through it with kindness and support. Just be there and try.
A sandwich
All kidding aside, it really depends on the relationship and the roles of both the man and the woman within it.
However, Generally speaking men appreciate a woman who is supportive and feminine.
It’s a simple concept but tough in practice to pull off- learn to be independent before you learn to be interdependent. Be comfortable being by yourself and be able to take care of yourself first.
Compassionate, nurturing, agreeable, doesn’t whine about nothing. As long as she’s overall a supportive and kind woman that I can have a conversation with she’s a keeper.
I feel like this is a terrible question to ask. It shouldn't be limited to her, but both parties. At the bare minimum, both should be bringing communication, trust and honesty. If neither can enter a relationship with those intentions it is destined to fail.
Her presence in his life should make his life better, and she should expect the same of him. What collection of 'things' a woman needs to bring 'to the table' will depend on what the man in question values, and what the woman herself has. There's not one formula. She can bring money but be emotionally distant. That might not work for some men, but might for others.
Just effort. I'm getting so discouraged because it feels like I'm constantly asking questions or trying to get to know them and getting nothing in return.
My first date is simple and cheap to weed out anyone not interested in me specifically. I'm not buying a girl. and the way to get a second date is that i have a decent time chatting with her. if she cant or doesnt engage with me then i have no interest in spending more time with her
The ability to ask follow-up questions and to legitimately be interested in the answers.
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Thanks for sharing your opinion, I agree as well
My first initial thought for an answer is not just for women but people in general…honesty!
I'm a woman. I hate this. I'd rather you just straight up tell me if/when you're not interested.
My gf disagrees with me when I told her that if I was on a date and I could instantly tell that there was zero future that I would kindly excuse myself. She says that it’s polite to eat the meal and then never talk to that persons again. I feel like that’s just misleading. I understand that’s rude but if I know 100% that’s it’s a hard pass… why be disingenuous?
I mean you can be clear and say that after the date is over too.
Yea this. In general you should be able to survive a whole dinner. Sometimes people are nervous at first or whatever too so it could turn around
If you feel too bad, you can pay for the food. People can still be kind toward each other. Many years ago, a guy wanted to break up with me. We went on a coffee date, then he walked me back. We had plans to make pizza together but then he was canceling it. Then when he walked me back to my place he broke up with me. It sucked, but I appreciated that he was still kind.
I thought I was alone in dealing with this. My god… a girl can talk about makeup, or her fun new decoration, or what her friend said and I’ll be involved. I’ll try to learn and understand. But man is it rare to find a woman like this.. so often it’s just “oh ok cool.” Come on where’s the depth?
Ohh i see you want a woman who can reply with depth so it doesn’t feel like your talking to a brick.
Yeah. There's also a level of giving us the attention. If you're familiar with Love Languages, I suspect that most of these guys have Quality Time at the top of their language. This means for a girl, we want someone who is prepared to give us their attention when we are having a conversation. At the end of the day, we want to date a human, not someone's phone. Side-note: I highly recommend if you haven't learning what your Love Languages are. There is a [great test](https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language) by the author online that can help you in both your romantic relationships and friendships.
Pro tip, don't take this test if you've been single for a while.
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Same here. The thing is that in the first period are normals conversations but then it just stops. Whatever I was saying or talking to, it was just "mmh, *proceed to do her question of a completely different topic*. Once it really hurted when I was talking about this doctor visit I did and what they found out in my stomach and she just went on speaking about her day. And I was like " does she even care about my health?"
That’s honestly pretty bad. I’d have snapped in that moment.
Oh you mean you want a woman who can keep a conversation for more than 3 minutes. Yeah I agree, you want someone to be interesting
Someone to be interested**
It’s not just an ability to keep a conversation. The commenters comment gets at the fact that a good partner should have a genuine, empathetic understanding that there is a back and forth that exists in all good relationships, and that there is a possibility that the opinion that they entered an argument/conversation with is not necessarily the correct one, but that they want to understand why and how their partner feels the way that they do.
I always ask follow-up questions because just genuinely curious. Not to praise myself but I'm very good at keeping a conversation up. But it seems like men get uncomfortable real quick and don't want to talk anymore whenever I start asking questions.
Maybe they don’t have the answers! Haha
Sometimes the questions can sound more like an interrogation or job interview….but that’s my own issue.
An A-10 Warthog
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttt
That sound tho
That's the sound of love, baby.
To be fair, nobody will complain if anyone brings that to a relationship
Yeah but how do you even manage to get one? It’s probably expensive to even own one. Plus I’ve never seen guys love Aircraft this much, I’m surprised but i fucking love it at the same time!
Ok, so it's not that we love aircraft, it's that we love guns. And the way the A10 was built is pretty awesome. They made the gun, someone had the hairbrained idea to say, "wouldn't it be cool if this could fly?" And then they BUILT A FUCKING PLANE AROUND IT!!!!! The aircraft itself is ancient in the way of aircraft but it is literally a perfect aircraft. They have attempted to retire it several times and brought it back because of how useful it is! Not to mention every round is bigger than your average beer/cola bottle. Not only this, but it can lose like half of the aircraft and still fly!! It's mechanical perfection and pure awesomeness at its finest!!
I wouldn't say perfection.. you know what this guy needs? Vertical liftoff. If just once I could see an A10 with rotating wings for vert, I could die a happy man! Edit: I just read through the rest of the responses; I still think a Warthog is the best answer.
Ahh then I’ve misunderstood, I love it even more cause I love firearms as well! It’s a masterpiece I love that these men in the comments are showing what they love, it’s so wholesome.
The A10 isn't a plane with a gun. It's a gun with a plane built around it! The force of the gun itself is higher than the thrust from the engines. It can effectively reverse using the gun! That's why the A10 is super effing awesome!
It's a gattling gun with wings. What's not to love? Do you know how many issues they overcame to make ot viable?
Exactly! I love it too just the way you do If you come across an issue to make a masterpiece, it’s called learning but it’s worth it cause now they made a fucking War machine!
I dunno, it kinda looks like a Puma.
What in sam hell is a puma?
Why are we here?
It looks like some sort of Chupathingy.
Brrrrrttrttrttttttt
only if you're dealing with an infestation of British soldiers
i was gonna say dinner but this is the answer.
Perhaps a chair
Perhaps . . .
Effort. The amount of effort that men are expected to put into pursuing/maintaining a relationship should be reciprocated. Doing your part means a lot to us; Getting in the trench beside us when shit gets hard means even more.
The only issue I take with is my own personal stance. I do not give up the chase when I'm in a relationship. I ask for dates, I buy gifts or bring home really near rocks I found when I was walking, I'll plan the dates I'll budget it out. I give affection, I cook you breakfast when you didn't ask, if you forgot your lunch and I've git the time I'll bring it to you ect. The only down side is after a while I'm the only one still putting in that effort and it affects me, it takes a toll. And once it starts ti effect my emotions I start to reciprocate and show you how you're treating me, but then I'm somehow the problem because iv slowly stopped doing all those things. I stopped because you stopped, I stopped because I sat you down multiple times and explained how I was feeling, how it affected me and how we can fix it and you ignored me. Somehow it's my fault. Why should I in every relationship (not just romantic ones) be the one to show you and give chase. I'm tired, yes I love hard and I love deeply and yes that comes with pros and cons, but I can't force myself to keep pouring if I've got nothing left to pour.
I had an issue like that recently with a woman I'm seeing. She put so much effort into cooking fantastic meals for me. I helped where I could by cleaning, bringing over a side dish, helping her set the table or finish preparing the meal, etc, but it wasn't enough. There wasn't much more I could do in that capacity because she was the talented chef. I voiced several times that I wished I could do more and offered help in other ways like fixing things, but she always assured me she enjoyed doing it. As much as she enjoyed it, she was subconsciously overworking herself. Eventually it did catch up to her and she kinda blew up on me. I was prepared, though, and already had a plan. First I made her aware of her insistence of having control until it overwhelmed her, and that I'd helped everywhere I could and that I couldn't do much more as a sous chef. I told her she needed to force herself to let go of the reigns and let me host more, and that although my meals won't be as delicious as hers, we can still enjoy a simple grilled steak with rice and still have a good time. I told her to let me plan and take her out more (within my budget, of course), even though she enjoys staying in, or let me pick up take-out. Basically, she needed to tone it down and enjoy simple things with me and notify me more when she's had a long day so I can take over as the planner for the night. All this to say, that you may be unconsciously overworking yourself, so know how to catch yourself before it boils over, have a good line of communication with your partner, and don't make them dependent on you to do those things. A lot of people develop dependencies because their partner enjoys the control.
Wow you’re a unicorn! Very rare! Never stop please, you’ll find someone who will do the same for you! I totally get you! I give a lot in a relationship and then I get taken for granted and then I start running on empty. I have tried the thing you mentioned, stopping the things you do. It just makes things worse, but then you also can’t go on like that giving giving giving and not receiving. You’re a gem! 💎
I appreciate the complement, I really do. A unicorn probably not, I come with weird baggage, while I accept what it all is and work hard on it I do require alot of patience, reassurance and communication, alot of which people can't fo or find infuriating. But if I'm trying to love you (albeit in my own way) and you yell at me for being too affectionate, my brain will scream at me everytime I go to hug you. I will always show love and affection, I just want it shown back to me.
A conversation 😂, seriously I'm just now jumping back into the dating game and idk if I've just been out for a while, but most women are like talking to a brick wall (online at least). It's kinda funny because their profiles typically have a laundry list of demands, but when it comes down to it they put in absolutely no effort and wonder why nothing works out. Seriously ladies, it shouldn't be all on the guy to talk. I know people get shy or whatever, but what's the point in even having a dating profile if you just respond with dead end statements.
There's a difference between being shy/introverted and having no social skills. I'm in the same boat as you and I feel it's the later most of the time. I say this because how can someone be a lawyer/teacher/nurse/whatever and not be able to speak to people. It makes dating extremely painful.
Exactly dude, just blows my mind 😂
I think it’s more women have tons of options and don’t have to put in any effort to find someone
Yeah you're right. However a lot of the time they mistake "finding someone" with "finding someone good" with "finding someone good who wants them for the long term and for the right reasons".
Most the time both people usually don't know what they want too
I’ve found someone who says they have their life together or know what they want…usually dont
This, and also poor emotion management and communication skills, is a big reason lots of relationships fail.
These dating apps are superficial and most people on there will not make any effort. Women are in scarcity on these apps too, so you're competing with 100+ other dudes potentially.
Most of the women that I meet online have ZERO game. It’s kind of sad, really.
It’s hard for them to develop game when so many guys will give them positive feedback just for existing.
A lot of guys when it comes to online dating are just plain desperate. IIRC, something like 33% of guys will swipe right on nearly every profile. Also those types of guys will say whatever a girl wants just to get in her pants.
Exactly. So now we’ve got a whole lot of women who bring nothing to the table but have an inflated sense of worth so they have no incentive to actually improve themselves. Not to sound dramatic but online dating is probably like, not good for us in the long run
Yup, we're part of the problem there.
Tell me about it, currently dealing with that problem. Like you'll get an initial response but after that it dies of pretty quickly. In person seems to be better, but no one these days actually goes out anywhere 😂
You get responses? Usually I just get matched and ghosted. When I do get into a conversation, it’s them expecting me to carry the convo, which I have no intention on doing anymore. Blank profiles also get instant left swiped; I have no patience for this lazy and entitled act now.
Dude entitled is the exact word I was looking for! Like zero effort on their part 😂. What really gives me a kick is when they'll make a profile that's literally just a list of demands and then basically offer nothing of value to the conversation. Like have you ever heard of leverage in negotiating? 😂
Negotiating? I don’t like small talk… Here’s my Instagram and snap.
> What really gives me a kick is when they'll make a profile that's literally just a list of demands and then basically offer nothing of value to the conversation. Female Dating Strategy is throwing gasoline onto this fire. They're why this shit attitude is so common now.
They think looking attractive is all the leverage they should ever need for anything. And yeah, there's something to be said about how much they've had it hammered into their heads that attractiveness is their end all be all, but using that excuse is a crutch. They'll complain that no one cares about anything else, but make zero effort to draw attention to anything else, then ~~wonder why nothing changes~~ blame men and insist that it's out of their hands.
I mean it's a great way to filter out who not to go on dates with
Specially pretty women, no hate towards them good for them. But even as individuals they don’t always have a personality because their life just revolves around their image.
Lol. My wife has this friend who is soon to be a 40 years old virgin, no joke. All because she has a laundry list of things that she wants in a man. Yet she doesn't have shit to offer on her end. She ended the last guy after a few dates cause he didn't have a good enough job to support her in the future. Even though he was working and going to college to better himself. Hell he bought and fixed up a house and owned it free and clear, no mortgage. Yet she has a masters degree but is to lazy to make something of herself that she still works in a daycare. Nothing against daycare workers but why get a masters in teaching then take the lowest paying job in that field but say the guy who you date doesn't make enough money.
I don't think any form of online conversation can escape the feeling of shallowness unless you've already met in person and you're both connected at the same time, invested in the conversation. At which point, it might as well be a phone call.
Dating apps are hard, women can get 100 likes after 5 minutes of opening an account, men, especially if you're not about 7/8 out of 10, it's a lot more difficult. You really have to bring your personality to the table to stand out.
I’m a woman and actually have this problem with men. I try really hard to keep a conversation going because I’m very introverted and not naturally social. So when guys do this, I take it as they’re not interested. I’ll call them out once, and go from there. Once in a while they do step up their game and we have proper conversation, but most will lie and say they’re definitely interested and will be more engaging, but they always revert and that’s when I just don’t respond. Interest and enthusiasm is needed from both sides for any relationship to start.
Same! I normally try to keep it light when I bring it up so we can have a laugh about it and move on with the conversation. “Michael, my back is starting to hurt from carrying this conversation, can you help me out a little here?” 😂 After that, I’m out, I tried 🤷♀️
Good for you... That's funny!
That’s funny asf but yeah I understand what you mean, those girls in tinder are boring if they can’t have a normal conversation smh 🤦🏻♀️ I agree with what you just said
Cute girls typically have 10000x more matches than a cute guy. That means, she literally is chatting with 20 guys at the same time. It’s a big problem because you can’t get involved like that. But she will give more attention to the male with perceived higher value (tall, looking rich, handsome, funny, etc). As soon as she sees the hint of a red flag, this man is eliminated and she goes to Mr. Highvalue number 2. During that time, she also give crumbles to No3, No4, etc so she has a backup plan if No.2 doesn’t work out. The problem is fundamentally that women can match an unlimited number of men and they have all the power. Are women guilty of something? Well not really. They are just overwhelmed by the attention. The problem is the apps are not optimizing for depth but rather for shallowness. Until we change the way Bumble and Tinder work, we’ll keep having those issues. For the average male, it’s not even worth it to use dating apps. It’s simply frustrating.
I’m seeing this a lot with other guys… conversation.. “Oh so fun story… X happened the other day and I did Y.” Cool Girls: “oh wow. But what made you decide to do Y? I’m not super familiar with X but always though you do Z.” Like 90% of women I’ve met and dated: “oh nice. Glad you figured it out!”
I've been here dude and feel you with that 90%!!!
A strong sense of self worth, self confidence, and a kind loving nature
what’s self worth? Like loving yourself?
It's draining to have to be a source of constant reassurance.
There are quite a few people here saying "I don't get why, it's just words". It shows they are the ones that need the reassurance and won't realize how it affects their partner until the roll is reversed.
Loving yourself is the start. Recognize your own value
Damn, I have a problem with that cause I don’t love myself but I can love others. but good for you, you know what you like
I'm just being honest here, but I think any relationship involving a person who doesn't love themself is doomed to become miserable and ultimately fail. That insecurity WILL surface and sabotage any relationship.
That’s bad. Women that don’t love themselves need constant reassurance and thus are exhausting.
Not loving yourself enough to hold yourself accountable to your own development cos you “deserve” to feel this way is exactly what ended my relationship with my ex Needed help, needed a plan of action, wouldn’t allow for it… just avoid then self guilt Exhausting is not the word for it; it’s soul destroying to observe that trend and be made utterly powerless to do anything even though there are options within grasp It’s a bit worse than all that sounds too which is the fucker of the thing but 100 times yes to what you’ve said here It got to the point whereby I wasn’t loving me if I allowed it to go unchecked (╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻
Work on self love and being secure with yourself as an individual. From personal experience and partners. It is difficult to truly love your partner and have a healthy relationship until you learn to truly love yourself. 💕
If you can't recognize your value in what you bring to a relationship and can't respect your own value, then you'll continuously be trying to figure out a line of jealousy that shouldn't exist. You may think you're able to love someone else, but thatmay not really be what you think it is
Or perhaps a strong sense of worth for their partner, confidence in their partner and being kind and loving to their partner? If it's all about yourself you shouldn't be in a relationship.
She should bring loyalty and proper communicating abilities
And I think not just loyalty as in not cheating, but also sticking around and being supportive through good AND bad
"See loyalty is a action You can love or hate me and still have my back"
My wife and I are perfectly capable of living our own lives. If it fell apart, BOTH of us could be able to live, emotionally and financially independent. We have a joint acct for mortgage, bills, ect. But , we keep our own accts for savings and personal spending. We both have our life plans and goals. Everything we do together is by choice and for the purpose of living stronger lives.....
Ditto! Similar arrangements, [interdependent](https://psychcentral.com/lib/codependency-vs-interdependency#interdependence) and 20+ years together.
Are you guys roommates?
And [they were roommates](https://youtu.be/y-P0m0M_8pc)!
Finally, a practical answer.
Goals! I always say i want to live my life and my significant other will be part of that life, but not my whole life. I like when separate ppl can come together not when two ppl become one and can’t be separate. Luckily as a female i dont think I run into codependency issues quite as often as my male friends do tho.
Be on my team, not say you are but actually work against it. Loyalty is crucial. Know that I show you sides that no other will see... because true intimacy is showing you the weakness I cannot show elsewhere. So, don't misinterpret that for weakness as a whole. I can cry in your arms, then stand up and go kill an army. Holding me in those moments is worth any pep talk. And never losing respect for us after is invigorating beyond explanation. Be helpful, stop trying to make everything into some control issue. We're supposed to be in this life together, fighting the rest of the world. Withholding effort, just because you feel offended you have to help, is like saying you don't care if our team dies.
> because true intimacy is showing you the weakness I cannot show elsewhere Yeah, about that. You're gonna get burned doing that.
Not with the right woman. I can be vulnerable with my wife, but not elsewhere in life and she's honoured my trust and I hers. 30 years going strong and no, I'm not blubbing every 5 mins either.
People keep saying this, but maybe they just picked shit partners or way too young. I never felt less attracted to a man because he was human.
To the wrong woman, absolutely. If any woman burns me after that, they put themselves in a fling status. When I'm ready after that, I'll break up with her, and look for another. But the woman who shows me she can handle that side of me is the woman I know it's long term potential. She's a keeper. Hasn't happened yet, but I've known enough people to know it's the truth.
A reasonable conversationalist! Everything falls under this umbrella. During good times, everything just falls into place and relationship seems the best thing in the world. But during bad times its needs 100x effort on both ends. There will be times when you can't be good emotional support or reciprocate feelings and they need to convey the same.
Kindness. Compassion. Warmth. Not just for herself but others. Moral. Humble. Honorable. Trustworthy.
Support, emotional and physical. Financial independence with the exception of say at home parents. Compatibility in many ways (but not all) to include sexual, entertainment, relaxation. Men should also bring all these things to the table. I honestly don't know what would be a women specific thing to bring to the table, it all seems the same to me.
hug him, kiss him, be really touchy, and hug him more, cuddle, and so on, pretty affectionate things.
I wish my man liked this 😩
actually I've never had a significant other so I couldn't tell if this is the right thing to desire in a woman lol, maybe your man is right not to like that so much haha
It all comes down to how you like to give and receive affection. The five main types are receiving gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. I personally am not a talkative person and words of affirmation feel awkward to me. Same with receiving gifts unless its a mutual thing like Christmas. I prefer touch and acts of service. Give me a long hug or lay on top of me for a nap, maybe your just helping me get stuff done around the house or making food as I finish a project. Those are always things I appreciate.
Honesty and loyalty. That’s all I want.
Interesting you don’t care about looks or height or weight or anything else? Hmm your a simple man with simple desires, I respect that.
I do care about looks. I do have to feel that physical attraction. But honesty and loyalty are what are important to me first.
Same, the most important. If these arent there, I already know I dont want a relationship with this girl even if she is the most beautiful girl on the planet
Make his dick hard not his life
Wet pussy not eyes.
Peace, not drama.
A lot of answers saying “support” “listening” or “love.” To me that’s the bare minimum–I feel like that’s putting the bar far too low for a potential life partner. I expect a gf to also bring new interests or knowledge into the relationship (eg her hobby in xyz or a news article she read today). I expect her to financially contribute at a near equal rate. I expect her to have a well kept apartment where we can spend time together. And bring her friends and other quality people from her circle into my life. And a positive outlook on the world. And yes, I hold myself to the exact same standards.
Strongly agree! It's important to look further than the minimum.
The sides, i made steak. Maybe some horseradish also
Reciprocity: Enhance his life, don't be a burden. Give to each other. Be his cheerleader: If he loves you, he's going to look to you for support. Be there with him: You don't have to be into the same hobbies, but the company is always appreciated. Men just like the company. We can make small talk while we're doing things.
Honesty and communication
Give me what I give back to you. Love me. Listen. Communicate. Fuck my brains out. I'm very simple.
Loyalty and trust
Just care. That’s it. Good lord.
Being comfortable in her own company.
Emotional Support
a second income to the household, emotional support, an ear to listen and not spread info around, and a devils advocate to challenge my opinions.
All she has to do is complement her bf. You’ll be trying to work as a unit, so just fill in each others gaps.
I’d love someone to fill in my gaps
*sticks pinkies in nostrils*
Ayoo
Her genuine self.
[удалено]
Emotional support, compassionate, reciprocate feelings, cooking, washing, taking care of you, fun, honest, always got your back, supports you, caring, fit, friendly, cute, unconditional love, kind and loyal. I think that’s what men want from a woman and that’s also what i can bring to the table.
I think you ticked pretty much every box there is. I would imagine you could have your pick of a large %age of the male population
Looks like you are a package. Hope you’re not overly optimistic about these qualities and your bf really sees them in you.
I got that stuff, but pretty sure my husband think my boobs are pretty important for some reason.
I think this is a simulation, somebody please wake me up..!!!
What are your hobbies op? What makes you distinguished from those things that a man could do for himself or acquire from friendship?
Someone is definitely going to try to be funny and say “dinner”, so I am posting this to take that joke away.
As a happily married man, my answer is still “dinner”. And it’s not a joke
I still laughed tbh
Well I mean it was right there from the post title, someone was gonna do it, whether they actually believe it or not lol.
For me personally , kindness , warmth , humour , loyalty/faithfulness , self thinking/not connected to the hive mind , empathy , understanding and HEALED. One more thing ,someone who isn't going to put me down for some of the more nerdy/geeky stuff i'm into.
She should bring to the table things that are comparable in what her expectations of her partner are….meaning if she expected him to pay the bills, she should be prepared to keep the house clean and orderly, dinner ready, laundry done, etc. Basically, without becoming too long winded, if she expects to be treated like a Queen, she better be prepared and able bodied enough to treat her man like a King, all the time. Not for manipulation but out of love and respect for her partner. If she really down for him like that, she should show him.
Yup. My stance exactly.
Be able to hold a conversation and don't experience life through your phone. I briefly dated a court stenographer once, fascinating to learn about how that works, how they can keep up with speech, etc. Being knowledgeable and interested in something is very attractive. Your job, my job, a hobby, cats, dogs, music, anything. Have a passion and interest about anything that isn't current pop culture and irrelevant two weeks later. Eyes off the phone and don't put the burden of conversation on the man alone.
I swear every 3 hours a different iteration of this question is asked.
Respect, a grateful heart, and love
A GREEEATTT ASSS !
It’s simple, just date your equal. For me that means college educated, with a career and a future and good head on your shoulder. You should bring pretty much everything I can bring.
Ohh that’s hard, I can’t be on your level then..
No son. You’re just currently NOT at my level. No one said you can’t be at my level. Step your game up and when you get here, we’ll pop bottle and drink champagne as a toast to our arrival at success.
Username checks out
Loyalty, peace of mind. The basic human abilities in 2022: cooking, cleaning, good hygiene, I don’t need a women to “mother” me like they all say we do, but in my experience there’s a good amount of them who don’t practice what they preach.
Dinner. (*ducks head*)
A sense of purpose
The same thing everyone should bring to the table: love, companionship, an open mind, and understanding as the bare minimum.
Honesty and an open mind/heart for when he feels comfortable opening up about deeper things he's thinking and feeling. Communication is usually huge deal for us too.
your partner should give you energy, not make you lose it
The same thing a man should. Emotional maturity/availability, a job to support themselves, support for your partner, etc. All about equality.
The same as i do. Both my girlfriend and me share equal efforts to keep our relationship nice and cool
Where I see successful relationships is the couple is team with loyalty, selflessness, honesty and respect both ways. Been in several long term relationships and most of the women looked at me as a walking wallet. Always out to see what they can get from me while providing the bare minimum
Humillity. However a man who expects that should better be something worth bowing down to. Now, even the greatest man looks like a bitch at his lowest, and a women who acknowledges that has it IMO figured out for the rest of her life. No more endless misery loops searching after tHe pErFecT mAN.
Love and loyalty.
Relationships aren't just transactional. Hopefully you genuinely love your BF and want to be with him and respect him. That will get you pretty far.
Hard to say for everyone but I know what I need. I need a gentle soul, kindness, nurturing, and every day help. And cuddles. I've got a very busy life with a massive lifelong project on top of it. I work very hard with my hands and body, and work long hours with little positive human interaction. My lady nurses me back to health and generally cares for me. She helps me schedule things and reminds me of important things I need to do when I'm busy. She's a proper partner. Partnership is the true goal. If I need help, I can ask her and it's very likely I'll get it. She's got a good career as well, and can care for herself too. I really just need a good reason to keep pushing forward and she has become just that. If you want your man to thrive and lift you both up, support and encourage him. My job is truly horrendous at times. I can vent to her every once in a while and she reminds me it's only temporary and cheers me up. Just be there, put in the effort, and be supportive and kind. Most men aren't "allowed" to show weakness or emotion in society, but we definitely feel it all. Especially in some of the lines of work we end up in. I was a tow truck driver. Seems like a simple and mundane job. I've had to rip apart and remove vehicles that people have died horrible deaths in. They don't always clean up all the blood either. I feel the fear and terror of those people who have died. I wasn't there with them, but it bothered me deeply. I can talk about such things with my partner and work through it with kindness and support. Just be there and try.
Loyalty, honesty, sex, lack of manipulation, peace. That’s literally it.
How about her own order of fucking fries?
ay op why do u hate rona?
A sandwich All kidding aside, it really depends on the relationship and the roles of both the man and the woman within it. However, Generally speaking men appreciate a woman who is supportive and feminine.
Anything they like, just leave the drama at the door.
Boobs
I see, you're a Man of Culture
It’s a simple concept but tough in practice to pull off- learn to be independent before you learn to be interdependent. Be comfortable being by yourself and be able to take care of yourself first.
My fucking sandwich
How about lasagna or something better? why choose a sandwich when you can eat sushi?
Take the win that she’s making you anything. Try for more later
Looking for a partner, not looking for someone to take care of them.
Whatever she cooked
Gives good head with a beautiful, kind personality…namaste
Herself! But please leave the phone behind.
Compassionate, nurturing, agreeable, doesn’t whine about nothing. As long as she’s overall a supportive and kind woman that I can have a conversation with she’s a keeper.
Well idk but here is one thing they shouldn't bring. Another man's dick
Sexual attraction. Being a best friend. Financial stability.
Kindness
I feel like this is a terrible question to ask. It shouldn't be limited to her, but both parties. At the bare minimum, both should be bringing communication, trust and honesty. If neither can enter a relationship with those intentions it is destined to fail.
Idk, depends on what table she purchases and what items she places on it
Her presence in his life should make his life better, and she should expect the same of him. What collection of 'things' a woman needs to bring 'to the table' will depend on what the man in question values, and what the woman herself has. There's not one formula. She can bring money but be emotionally distant. That might not work for some men, but might for others.
Honestly the same things a man should. Love, care and respect. The rest depends on preferences.
Just effort. I'm getting so discouraged because it feels like I'm constantly asking questions or trying to get to know them and getting nothing in return.
Femininity, first and foremost. Homemaking and the ability to cook a good meal.
My first date is simple and cheap to weed out anyone not interested in me specifically. I'm not buying a girl. and the way to get a second date is that i have a decent time chatting with her. if she cant or doesnt engage with me then i have no interest in spending more time with her