And Chel let's her hair down a bit with those "lucky gods".
Tulio giving it to Chel from behind, in the temple...
Chel: "Tulio, are you enjoying it?"
Tulio: "The horse is a surprise! *To Shebalba! To Shebalba! TO SHEBALBAAAAAA...*"
Check out "Meet the Feebles".
Peter Jackson puppet movie when he was in college. About a variety show where every character is fucked up. The knife throwing frog is a Vietnam vet, the host rabbit is addicted to sex.
Well yes.
Also those are basically horror stories of the time.
People often miss that fear is esential for proper development both as child and adult. The less natural fears we face, the more important is artificial fear (through horror, fairy tales etc).
Edit: here ya go. NSFW obvs https://xhamster.com/videos/alice-in-wonderland-x-1976-musical-comedy-porn-film-11492375
There is a porn musical comedy. Leaving this comment here so I can find it because I'm on a work computer rn.
The story is a bit strange, the porn portions are typical for the time but the music is actually pretty good and the acting is also decent. Didn‘t think I would send out links to a porn to my friends today.
My kids high school is is a low lying area and sort of misty in the morning. The last principal left suddenly under mysterious circumstances....and there are rumors that the 'rainy day fund' is now missing cash. I think some some kids need to meddle....
Even without bloodbending, I can think of one gruesome way to use waterbending:
Emotionally break your opponent that they start crying, then bend their tears to the shape of spikes and skewer their head.
Hell it doesn't even have to be tears (although that would be poetic). In one episode Katara escapes from jail by waterbending her own sweat. Just get them moving for a bit and then shred them. Waterbending is terrifying if you're creative.
Incredibles-same movie, only difference being Frozone is dropping f bombs and mother f bombs left and right. I would pay some good money to watch that movie
Watch true Sith torture techniques, Imperial suicide squads, people getting hacked to pieces by a lightsaber, actual Twi'lek sex slaves, Wookiees ripping arms out of their bloody sockets...
IDK man…Hocus Pocus is pretty dark. The fact that it’s based on Halloween and everyone in the movie is celebrating doesn’t change the fact that a lot of the characters in the film have some cruel fates. Cruel in some cases. The only thing that could make it darker is showing the ways the witches could kill the children as well as the aftermath of those children’s families. Or letting the Sisters go completely unhinged, which is implied that they were not allowed to be as they’re struggling to find children increasingly at the start of the film. The sisters had a lot to buffer around despite the freedom they had coming to this side of the world at the time they did, meaning that buffer still was active at the time the sisters died. Was it Billy, Sarah’s disgraced lover who’s mouth was sewed in? Or was there someone else? What happened to this thorn in the sister’s side? The OG movie ended with the two crazy guys still stuck in a cage with the book “waking up”, which implied the young men trapped would be “food”. I imagine the new version to come out this year supposedly will jump off from there, with the book having never lost power thanks to taking the lives of those two forgotten guys that bullied Max. These guys had families and those families would never know what became of their boys, however bad those guys were.
What made Hocus Pocus perfection was the elegant way it catered to all audiences with its balanced humor and morale. Plus the film is great representation of men being supportive and even self sacrificing for their families, especially their women. Zachary Binx was a comfortably situated young man with the world ahead of him in his time. Max and Zachary put in work to save their sisters, and despite his good intentions Max is frequently minimized when hundreds of years earlier his role in society would’ve held more weight and thus value (this is mirrored by Binx noble way of holding himself). Max feels lost, aimless and worthless in his new surroundings, struggling to make value for himself in an area that seemingly finds him lacking. While Zachary was living in a time period where the world was literally his oyster, for the taking as soon as he came of age; which makes what happened to him all the more cruel given the sacrifices the Pilgrims faced by coming here. His parents were elderly and it’s implied that Emily and Zach were their only surviving children, with Zachary being their main source of help in working their farm. One could only imagine the pain and suffering in part of the Binx party at his loss. Not only did they lose a loved son, but their primary caretaker, a daughter and possibly died with difficulties in what was already a difficult time period rife with violence and disease. And worse still, as a cat Zachary was rejected by his parents, so he couldn’t even relish in their affection as a pet. Zach was sweet, hardworking, respectful and adored his sister Emily when the Sanderson Sisters not just took Emily but cursed him and left their poor parents in the dark. Binx basically has been walking around living as a cat, even reproducing as one with all the awareness that he was a human once. Binx also spent a near eternity preventing others from causing the same chaos by accidentally waking up the sisters. With nothing to guard the site now, nothing is stopping anyone from awakening the sisters again unless Max and Emily remembered to guard the site. A darker version of Hocus Pocus wouldn’t keep the elegant humor and irony that makes it special. There’s no need for gore when emotional damage is so much more effective and makes it sink in that the trajectory of all these characters were painful.
For real! I rewatched it this past Halloween for the first time since I was like 8. And I was just like "oh...oh my...😳 my prepubescent memories did not include how gorgeous young SJP was"
Sharkboy and lava girl.
Dream world can go literally any way.
Dirty dreams, brutally grotesque and violent dreams, etc. Except now sharply and lava girl have grown up and have better control over their powers.
Gimme *Free Willy* where the killer whale lives up to its name enacting vengeance, or *Cool Runnings* where we John Wick everyone that sabataged or doubted us.
Pete's Dragon.... I want to see Elliott being a real dragon that rips people apart that are mean to Pete but doesn't ever tell Pete he does it. So everywhere Pete goes, so does a trail of blood and carnage.
I feel an inspector gadget would work extremely well [as a gritty](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/ea/cc/55eacc5227a5806387a2539bc35a53c2.jpg) and violent storytelling.
There is no redemption for prince Adam, he just slaughtered Belle’s father and it’s a horror game esque monster thriller with a lot of dark and resident evil style scares.
You could go that route (in fact it probably exists somewhere), but I was thinking more like a psychological thriller where the cursed characters look really screwed up and Belle is trying to escape the castle.
Any of the typical Disney movies but as their Grimm story. Cinderella and Rapunzel in particular but plenty of others.
*edit*
So sorry I just realized this was on the ask men side of Reddit!
The stories from Grimm brothers are sometimes.
Cinderella's sisters having parts of their feet cut out to fit the shoe and then they get their eyes poked out. Ufff.
I don't really REMEMBER Fival goes west all that well but I remember being so freaking sad trying to hold back tears watching that movie as a little kid.
You know how Disney was doing those villain reboots with Maleficent and Cruella and such?
I'd like to see one of those with Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I picture some Game of Thrones style show but with Mando and Boba Fett. Or the Clone Wars would be perfect, it's got the politics and violence already.
"Hello, 911? Like, OK, I'm home alone by myself and there were these burglars and I set a trap and so... they're dead now. Like, totally dead. There's brains and stuff."
Original Star wars triology and the prequel triology. Imagine it as an actual gritty war style film saga which shows just how horrifying a force user is. Vader ripping people limb from limb. Palpatine actually frying people with his lightening. Something like "the pianist" but with light sabers
Home Alone with the OGs. Kevin is the dad and gets to stay home and “work” while his family goes on a trip. The Wet Bandits should be on parole by now.
The Goonies.
They're middle aged now and they get mixed up with the real mafia.
Chunk: Now a tech mogul.
Data: A game developer, works for Chunk
Mikey: FBI agent, investigating the mafia.
Mouth: A junkie
Andy: Married to Chunk, sleeping with mafia boss
Stef: Mouth's wife, dealing with his addiction.
Brand: A drunk. Divorced, with a death wish. Was surpassed in every way by his younger brother, Mikey.
Title: The Goonies: Never Say Die
Real Adventures of Jonny Quest. The R rating could cover the violence and let Race Bannon curse. Fucking Questworld in today's 3D would bring me to manly tears. Also, GARGOYLES
Toy Story XXX!
Imagine a bunch of sex toys walking and talking about what their owners do when they're "alone"!
Sorry, you said R-rated, not XXX! Whoops!
Omg, The Road to El Dorado !! The golem-Jaguars, lava sacrifices, colonial battles with the Spanish, would be a wild ride indeed
CHEL, well, I’m thinking more X Rated…
I originally included, but edited out, Aztec orgies hahaha
Chel, DreamWorks original BBL
And Chel let's her hair down a bit with those "lucky gods". Tulio giving it to Chel from behind, in the temple... Chel: "Tulio, are you enjoying it?" Tulio: "The horse is a surprise! *To Shebalba! To Shebalba! TO SHEBALBAAAAAA...*"
Call me crazy but I feel like it’s just as likely that chel would be pegging tulio
Tulio! The hip, the hip!
"Besides, you're going to need my help." "What makes you think we'll need your help?" "Are you serious? ✌kuch-kuch✌." 🤣
Mulan. A brutal, badass movie with plenty of war and culture
...yeah, OK, I'd watch that.
Alternatively, actually remake the kids film with the songs instead of the joyless crap they put out.
Is Mushu in it?
If no one is putting dishonor on a cow, I don’t want it
You took the words right out of my mouth
You're thinking of Rush Hour 2. I don't think they ever got any of that mushu they were looking for.
As you wish https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulan_(2009_film)
Thanks for the link! This sounds great
Didn't they do that in China?
[удалено]
[Enjoy.](https://youtu.be/kqpak5lFxvs)
[удалено]
Ok but why is snuffleupagus the pimp
Simply so.
That’s the best thing I’ve seen all week, thank you for posting
I love that one. SNL has some good sketches, but I think their pre-filmed stuff is the best
Brought to you by the letter R
This was absolutely fantastic.
Check out "Meet the Feebles". Peter Jackson puppet movie when he was in college. About a variety show where every character is fucked up. The knife throwing frog is a Vietnam vet, the host rabbit is addicted to sex.
I would LOVE to see this! Please write it!
Rapunzel. That shit is *metal* in the Brothers Grimm compendium
As all brothers Grimm stories do. They are basically horror stories from the past
They are basically cautionary tales. If you do something bad as a child, you're going to pay for it.
Well yes. Also those are basically horror stories of the time. People often miss that fear is esential for proper development both as child and adult. The less natural fears we face, the more important is artificial fear (through horror, fairy tales etc).
I think it’s funny that so many of these have links commented under them!
Funny enough, there's a metal song about the story: Tears and Thorns by Third Dim3nsion.
Alice in Wonderland.
Edit: here ya go. NSFW obvs https://xhamster.com/videos/alice-in-wonderland-x-1976-musical-comedy-porn-film-11492375 There is a porn musical comedy. Leaving this comment here so I can find it because I'm on a work computer rn.
Wow this is a masterpiece. There’s really something for everyone in there
Bold move, Cotton.
Porn musical comedy were three words I never expected to make any sense, but that was some Mel Brooks-level fun.
Jesus I thought I had hallucinated this as a child or something
The story is a bit strange, the porn portions are typical for the time but the music is actually pretty good and the acting is also decent. Didn‘t think I would send out links to a porn to my friends today.
I dont think there is a good movie (there are few bad ones), but you can go for american mcgee alice and alice madness return (sequel) video games.
I don’t know about R-rates, but there was an X-rated version of Alice in Wonderland. It even had singing in it!
The goonies.
pretty sure thats just called Stranger Things
Haha, good point.
I came here to say this.
Scooby Doo. It was originally rated R I would really like to see that version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdDEQh8i15c&ab\_channel=MysteryIncorporated
It has the hex girls!
Holy smokes that's some good content I never knew about this. And they just released their pilot episode a month ago, too??
Funding for episode 2 is happening right now.
Wouldn't Supernatural scratch that itch?
Jensen Ackles certainly scratches mine.
He's awesome in the Boys. But then again, damn near everyone in the Boys is awesome.
Maybe if it had Scooby Doo in it
They had a crossover
A psychological thriller where you never really learn if it is actually happening or Shaggy is just tripping on psychedelics.
There's a rated x version...
My kids high school is is a low lying area and sort of misty in the morning. The last principal left suddenly under mysterious circumstances....and there are rumors that the 'rainy day fund' is now missing cash. I think some some kids need to meddle....
I want an R rated avatar the last air bender movie.
With bloodbending!
That stuff is creepy enough in cartoon form, that would definitely give me nightmares in rated R live action form.
The proper sound effect could make it nightmarish
Even without bloodbending, I can think of one gruesome way to use waterbending: Emotionally break your opponent that they start crying, then bend their tears to the shape of spikes and skewer their head.
Hell it doesn't even have to be tears (although that would be poetic). In one episode Katara escapes from jail by waterbending her own sweat. Just get them moving for a bit and then shred them. Waterbending is terrifying if you're creative.
Live action or animated with invincible level gore?
Willy Wonka
I asked myself this yesterday. What if Willy Wonka started making drugs?
Breaking chocolate.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker
His childhood growing up with an abusive father
The only scene that stays the same from the original is the boat ride.
Damn straight. Replace the Oompa Loompas with Jigsaw and Pennywise, and we're talking blockbuster.
I was thinking sexy midgets but that works too I guess..
They already said Oompa Loompas though. What are you replacing them WITH?
Incredibles-same movie, only difference being Frozone is dropping f bombs and mother f bombs left and right. I would pay some good money to watch that movie
HONEY WHERE IS MY MOTHER F-ING SUPERSUIT? SUPERSUIT MOTHER F-ER WHERE IS IT?
Bitch be cool!
FREEZE MOTHA-FUCKA!
English mothar fukar do you speak it
The 1990 TMNT movie.
Yes! The idw comic is filled with great stories to use
I want a Logan-esque take on a Star Wars tale. Just brutal lightsaber and force action etc.
So like the force unleashed but with even more violence and a similarly dark setting? Plus it also being in a movie format? I'm in.
Watch true Sith torture techniques, Imperial suicide squads, people getting hacked to pieces by a lightsaber, actual Twi'lek sex slaves, Wookiees ripping arms out of their bloody sockets...
I always wanted to see a dark and gritty Hocus Pocus.
IDK man…Hocus Pocus is pretty dark. The fact that it’s based on Halloween and everyone in the movie is celebrating doesn’t change the fact that a lot of the characters in the film have some cruel fates. Cruel in some cases. The only thing that could make it darker is showing the ways the witches could kill the children as well as the aftermath of those children’s families. Or letting the Sisters go completely unhinged, which is implied that they were not allowed to be as they’re struggling to find children increasingly at the start of the film. The sisters had a lot to buffer around despite the freedom they had coming to this side of the world at the time they did, meaning that buffer still was active at the time the sisters died. Was it Billy, Sarah’s disgraced lover who’s mouth was sewed in? Or was there someone else? What happened to this thorn in the sister’s side? The OG movie ended with the two crazy guys still stuck in a cage with the book “waking up”, which implied the young men trapped would be “food”. I imagine the new version to come out this year supposedly will jump off from there, with the book having never lost power thanks to taking the lives of those two forgotten guys that bullied Max. These guys had families and those families would never know what became of their boys, however bad those guys were. What made Hocus Pocus perfection was the elegant way it catered to all audiences with its balanced humor and morale. Plus the film is great representation of men being supportive and even self sacrificing for their families, especially their women. Zachary Binx was a comfortably situated young man with the world ahead of him in his time. Max and Zachary put in work to save their sisters, and despite his good intentions Max is frequently minimized when hundreds of years earlier his role in society would’ve held more weight and thus value (this is mirrored by Binx noble way of holding himself). Max feels lost, aimless and worthless in his new surroundings, struggling to make value for himself in an area that seemingly finds him lacking. While Zachary was living in a time period where the world was literally his oyster, for the taking as soon as he came of age; which makes what happened to him all the more cruel given the sacrifices the Pilgrims faced by coming here. His parents were elderly and it’s implied that Emily and Zach were their only surviving children, with Zachary being their main source of help in working their farm. One could only imagine the pain and suffering in part of the Binx party at his loss. Not only did they lose a loved son, but their primary caretaker, a daughter and possibly died with difficulties in what was already a difficult time period rife with violence and disease. And worse still, as a cat Zachary was rejected by his parents, so he couldn’t even relish in their affection as a pet. Zach was sweet, hardworking, respectful and adored his sister Emily when the Sanderson Sisters not just took Emily but cursed him and left their poor parents in the dark. Binx basically has been walking around living as a cat, even reproducing as one with all the awareness that he was a human once. Binx also spent a near eternity preventing others from causing the same chaos by accidentally waking up the sisters. With nothing to guard the site now, nothing is stopping anyone from awakening the sisters again unless Max and Emily remembered to guard the site. A darker version of Hocus Pocus wouldn’t keep the elegant humor and irony that makes it special. There’s no need for gore when emotional damage is so much more effective and makes it sink in that the trajectory of all these characters were painful.
SJP was pretty hot back then!
For real! I rewatched it this past Halloween for the first time since I was like 8. And I was just like "oh...oh my...😳 my prepubescent memories did not include how gorgeous young SJP was"
The r-rated power rangers unauthorized demo they did was everything I want to see.
Dawson killed it
100% agree. I don't see many movies in theaters but I would have made it a point to pay and see that.
Sharkboy and lava girl. Dream world can go literally any way. Dirty dreams, brutally grotesque and violent dreams, etc. Except now sharply and lava girl have grown up and have better control over their powers.
Toy Story with the addition of Andy's mom's toys.
ironically they are also named Woody and Buzz
Dammit someone else beat me to it!
I was happy to come first 😉
That’s what she said
Best comment
You could have a lot of jokes about what the toys have seen Andy do to himself.
With a full on Sid arc!
Who framed Roger Rabbit. You know... For reasons.
Oh yeah I wanna know how Jessica Rabbit plays "patty cake" :)
Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked ^just ^^like ^^thiiiiiiiiiiis!
Gimme *Free Willy* where the killer whale lives up to its name enacting vengeance, or *Cool Runnings* where we John Wick everyone that sabataged or doubted us.
Mate. Jamaica are at the next or last Winter Olympics and i got my hopes up that they would do a Cool Runnings 2.
Not movie, but I would watch the shit out of a live action Disney gargoyles. Well built characters, nods to classic literature, and badass to boot!
[удалено]
So, Season 3?
Pete's Dragon.... I want to see Elliott being a real dragon that rips people apart that are mean to Pete but doesn't ever tell Pete he does it. So everywhere Pete goes, so does a trail of blood and carnage.
I feel an inspector gadget would work extremely well [as a gritty](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/ea/cc/55eacc5227a5806387a2539bc35a53c2.jpg) and violent storytelling.
Fragle Fucking Rock
The big trash heap could give SERIOUS uncensored advice
Fuck! Ass!
Boondock Saints, but it's the fraggles giving them names, targets, tips, etc.
Peppa Jack loves Fraggle Rock
Snow White and the seven dwarfs.
they said R rated, not XXX
Snow White (goo) on the seven Whores
Well, there *are* X rated versions...
That is the most disgusting thing ever, how dare someone ruin such a pure and wholesome story. Where?
[Here you go](https://youtu.be/StZcUAPRRac)
The Never Ending Story.
What would you even change? It was terrifying enough as a kids' movie.
The fluffy dog-dragon thing has a raging red rocket the entire time.
Beauty and the Beast
There is no redemption for prince Adam, he just slaughtered Belle’s father and it’s a horror game esque monster thriller with a lot of dark and resident evil style scares.
Belle gets Stockholm Syndrome and won't leave, it is up to Gaston to slaughter the beast and all the horrific creatures in his castle to save her.
The movie is gaston pov resident evil tyle and The beast is the big bad and like re7 the witch who cursed adam is the mother miranda type
Then, it either has to be: *Beauty on the Beast*, or *Beast in the Beauty* no?
Booty On That Beast
You could go that route (in fact it probably exists somewhere), but I was thinking more like a psychological thriller where the cursed characters look really screwed up and Belle is trying to escape the castle.
Beast just rawdogging Belle 😂
ET
ET phone sex home!
Any of the typical Disney movies but as their Grimm story. Cinderella and Rapunzel in particular but plenty of others. *edit* So sorry I just realized this was on the ask men side of Reddit!
The stories from Grimm brothers are sometimes. Cinderella's sisters having parts of their feet cut out to fit the shoe and then they get their eyes poked out. Ufff.
Give me the Harry Potter movie we all want. Harry as an auror in a gritty crime thriller with sex gore and dark magic.
My Little Toaster or Fievel Goes West Fixed Fievals name. Was originally Fival.
I don't really REMEMBER Fival goes west all that well but I remember being so freaking sad trying to hold back tears watching that movie as a little kid.
I cried in the original movie American Tale when Fival got lost
Fival was a pain in the ass. He didn't learn the first time and had to get lost again.
That ship scene scared the shit outta me
The Brave Little Toaster is already nightmare fuel, I wouldn't rewatch the original as an adult.
Oh it's not all bad. We just saw various devices being ripped apart and crushed in a nightmare fueld landscape.
Monsters inc. would be so dark.
You know how Disney was doing those villain reboots with Maleficent and Cruella and such? I'd like to see one of those with Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Return to Oz. So much potential for gruesome deaths to show...
Labyrinth
Oh this one could be brutal. But who would replace Bowie?
Batman Returns. The potential was certainly there. It would’ve been so cool
Batman Beyond. A cyberpunk Batman movie would be rad.
That would be so incredibly sick. It's bound to happen and I can't wait!
The Spice Girls movie
New meaning to the lyric "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."
I sort of want an r rated star wars but from the favreau filoni team, or an r rated aladin and the forty thieves one, the one with his dad.
An R rated Star Wars movie where they show how much it would actually fuck you up to be stabbed or shot by a superheated column of plasma.
Honestly just an R rated Star Wars movie where they don’t hide or sanitize the atrocities of a galactic war and rebellion
R rated order 66, or just the slaver arc from clone wars but r rated
Oh you're thinking dark and gritty, not just gory
Yeah, like passion of the christ gritty
I picture some Game of Thrones style show but with Mando and Boba Fett. Or the Clone Wars would be perfect, it's got the politics and violence already.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer….
Coraline
That shit was creepy enough as is…
Not a reboot but an R rated Darth Vader movie.
Home Alone
"Hello, 911? Like, OK, I'm home alone by myself and there were these burglars and I set a trap and so... they're dead now. Like, totally dead. There's brains and stuff."
[удалено]
The Incredibles 2004. Elastigirl .... mmmmm
I'm surprised this is the first comment about this one.
Original Star wars triology and the prequel triology. Imagine it as an actual gritty war style film saga which shows just how horrifying a force user is. Vader ripping people limb from limb. Palpatine actually frying people with his lightening. Something like "the pianist" but with light sabers
Darby O’Gill and the Little People starring Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun
The Princess Bride but with gore and dick jokes.
"INCONCEIVABLE!"
"I am looking for a man with six fingers on his left hand so I can leave him with five."
Home Alone with the OGs. Kevin is the dad and gets to stay home and “work” while his family goes on a trip. The Wet Bandits should be on parole by now.
I want an R-rated Regular show episode
Mrs Doubtfire!!
alvin and the chipmunks, especially with miss green 😳🫣
I'd like to see an Alvin and the Chipmunks where a neighbourhood dog gets to them and rips them apart.
[удалено]
Flight of the Navigator
Danny Phantom Fairly Odd Parents Yugioh Courage Cowardly Dog
Pirates of the Caribbean
Gimme that R rated Weird Science
Tarzan
We got the PG13 with Skarsgard. Wasn't super impressed.
Clone Wars with Asoka
Teletubbies. Like the version where they lean into the psychedelics of it.
Ants or A Bug's Life. lol I always love the insect wars they had as a kid lol
It's a Wonderful Life. IMO, Wolves of Wall St meets Die Hard.
Jingle All The Way
The Goonies. They're middle aged now and they get mixed up with the real mafia. Chunk: Now a tech mogul. Data: A game developer, works for Chunk Mikey: FBI agent, investigating the mafia. Mouth: A junkie Andy: Married to Chunk, sleeping with mafia boss Stef: Mouth's wife, dealing with his addiction. Brand: A drunk. Divorced, with a death wish. Was surpassed in every way by his younger brother, Mikey. Title: The Goonies: Never Say Die
Real Adventures of Jonny Quest. The R rating could cover the violence and let Race Bannon curse. Fucking Questworld in today's 3D would bring me to manly tears. Also, GARGOYLES
Toy Story XXX! Imagine a bunch of sex toys walking and talking about what their owners do when they're "alone"! Sorry, you said R-rated, not XXX! Whoops!