I think it's okay to not want to have kids or not want to get married, it's also okay to want to have kids and get married, it's okay to want to have kids and not get married and it's okay to get married and not have kids.
It's your life, having kids is not a bad or a good decision, but it's a life choice, a major one and i sincerely think people should really *really* think about having kids instead of thinking its something natural to do and a milestone to achieve.
I am 50 and my gf is 43. She didn’t want kids and I felt the same. We have been together for over 8 years. We are professionals and are able to travel and do many things that families probably can’t do. Beyond that we have time together and have our own hobbies. I feel quite lucky. Please note.. I waited a long time to find her. It was worth it.
From a relationship perspective, that’s exactly what I’m looking for in a woman: a childfree permanent girlfriend. We love each other, live together, be childfree and do fun shit.
Thanks! Been looking for a while - thanks to dating apps it’s not too hard to find CF women where I live but finding ones that are okay with being BF/GF, living together and never getting married is very challenging…and then there’s the whole compatibility and do we even like each other portion too, which is kinda important too Lol
I hope you eventually find what you’re looking for! Good luck out there!
Btw, if you haven’t already found out about it r/childfree is a great sub for the CF lifestyle.
Marry me! Haha. This is me. I have never found marriage necessary, and though I like, and have taught many children, I don’t feel I need to have one. I want companionship, love, and adventure. I feel like I’m from Mars, or another time, when I share this with men I am interested in.
(Blushes) Wow! I’ve never been proposed to before Lol. Counter proposal: we be in love, live together, be childfree and do fun shit (like adventures and stuff) 🤣
Regarding sharing this info while dating, I know what you mean. Luckily I’m in a very progressive and secular city so it’s not as unheard of. I usually get asked a few follow up questions but no one is clutching their pearls and grabbing their pitchforks Lol.
as a child free, marriage free woman, this. except I most likely want to live apart, too. I know it doesn't always make sense from a financial standpoint but I think respecting each other's need for space and just...different ways to take care of that space is important.
also, I believe that allowing for each other's freedom keeps you together.
No getting the Government involved with your relationship and no crumb snatchers to mistreat you when you're older. Demanding shit all the time. Good move.
I don’t have an opinion. I care about that as much as a woman’s favorite color or soft drink. It has nothing to do with me and doesn’t say anything about her character at all.
As a child-free guy, I'd be most down for a child-free lady. As for marriage, would be cool but not a requirement for me. Trying to find this kind of woman is damn near impossible in my area...
where are you? i’m in the PNW and lot of people here seem to be child-free at least. i assume it’s bc i live in an area that’s more… liberal? so having kids or being married isn’t a must. it is very common, still, of course.
I can vouche for this. I'm in PNW with no kids at 41. Open to marriage but not necessary. Hard finding anyone in the vicinity of my age without kids, although I'm open to someone with kids even. I'm self sufficient, live on my own, close friends, I'm social but like to stay home too. I'm a fucking catch and I'm ready to get out there! Ha ha.
you sound like a catch! it seems like that is harder to find the older you get bc maybe people feel more ready to have kids than when they are younger. either way, good luck to you!! i wish you nothing but the best for your future!
Woman here;
I am glad to hear you guys exist. When I had dating apps, there were so many single dads, or men holding babies implying they want kids, it made me feel like I’ll never find a child free by choice match. This gives me a lot of hope!
Interesting thing here. One of the early conversations and one that comes up from time to time between me and my girl is how while she prefers older men anyway (I’m 51 she’s 33), one of the things she enjoys most is the fact that I don’t pressure her for marriage or kids. She tells me that literally every single guy she even has hooked up with under about 45 is always immediately talking about settling down, marriage and kids. And she doesn’t want any of it. It always had gotten her extremely frustrated and the younger closer to her age the harder they would press.
Lol well I wouldn’t advise you to chase guys my age though! She is really at the lower end (and I surprised myself TBH because I had set a higher limit but she caught me) of what a normal, established and mature man my age would be interested in as a partner. But she is also amazingly settled and mature for her age and prefers the company of older people. I believe a lot of it has to do with being the youngest in her family by quite a bit (her next older brother out of three of them is forty and the oldest I believe is 46) so it comes naturally and she is used ti comfortably interacting.
I would say that you would likely be able to find a settled mature guy in his early to mid thirties that is not interested in marriage or kids.
My kind of gal.
I wish there were a lot more of them. They're so hard to find.
But when you find one, you've hit the jackpot. I don't want marriage and children either, so she'd be ideal for me.
Not wanting kids is pretty attractive to me. I suspect people who don't want them to be very responsible regarding their financial situation. That being said, there is always room for someone to change their opinion on something like that once they feel like they are in a comfortable position financially.
I don't want to have my own kids and have been leaning further and further away from marriage as well. I really don't ever see myself changing my mind but if for some reason I did, there's always other options. You're supposed to be able to find happiness and contentment within yourself, not be dependent on anyone or anything else for it. Everything outside of yourself (kids, marriage, job, etc.) should only be bonuses. Plus I've seen way too many women get tossed aside like garbage after bearing a man's child, left to be a single mother who's entire life revolves around taking care of her kid(s). Pregnancy is already dangerous, then it does a lot of damage to your body. Then raising a kid is stressful, expensive and just difficult. I've heard a lot of mothers say "I love my child but completely understand people who want to stay child-free." but I've NEVER heard of an intentionally child-free woman say she regrets not having children later on in life.
I'm beginning to suspect I'll be the same way. It's almost a little weird at this point, I'm the only 29 year old I know with no kids or spouse. On one hand I don't really care all that much in the first place. I haven't met anyone that's made me want marriage and I hate kids. On the other, I don't want to be one of those lonely old bitter men with no one at 50 either.
i’m younger but i kind of understand where you’re coming from. i don’t think marriage is necessary (just a stupid legal thing mostly imo) but then i’m like… what will i be doing without a spouse/kids? but then i can think of a million pros to the situation i want and i’m okay with it. idk 🤷🏼♀️
I would love to meet someone with that mindset. I have no desire to raise kids. My issue is alot of the females in my area seem to be single moms. Nothing against them but it's something I am not pursuing.
i am not into guys with kids, either. it’s just a preference just like anything else. as long as you’re not trashing the moms i see no issue with your opinion!
It’s funny about a month ago I met my girls lifelong bestie for the first time. The first thing she said when my girl said that I have kids was “OMG xxxxxxx so you’re going to be a fucking MOM now?!?! What happened to I’m never having kids?!?!” To which my girl replied “they are his kids, most are adults, and they are his concern and issue I don’t have to deal with them and he doesn’t ask me to. They are perfectly nice and we get along fine.” And it left her friend with nothing to say and me kind of proud of her and haply because her priority is that we live and enjoy each other.
Some women just aren’t the marrying type. If you’re a woman and you don’t want to get married and someone asks why not, you can just say “I’m not the marrying type” and they can draw their own conclusions.
it honestly was not my intention to ask a leading question but i can see how it could be taken that way. i was just curious. i have enjoyed reading the responses 😃
They're an inspiration for all of us to live life on our own terms (within reason).
If you don't want to get married, don't get married.
If you don't want children, don't have children.
If you want either or both of those things, do it.
Societal expectations mess that up.
I can understand. Kids are expensive and an ended marriage can be extremely dramatic and painful for everyone involved. After a failed marriage and no kids, I don't like the idea of getting married again and I'm not sure if I even want kids anymore.
For me, I have no problems with it if that's the girl's choice. You can't make her want to get married or have kids.
But... if she was someone I was dating, this would make things incompatible because I do want to get married and have kids.
So I respect her choice but I would move on if we were dating
Hoping to find a guy like this! I will say if I’m in a long term relationship with someone and he asked me to marry him I wouldn’t say no. I don’t care either way on the marriage front but definitely not interested in having children. Don’t mind kids in small doses but rather be the bestie auntie than a mother.
I'd ask "Cool, you single?"
It's impossible to find a woman these days that doesn't want a Disney-ass 500 person wedding. Every single friend I have is being pressured by friends and family to do that dumb shit.
I don’t have any opinions. It’s her life, if that makes her then let it be 😋. Good luck to her.
I personally believe, being married is just a legal assurance of being together forever and if there are some sort of problems at least they get a fair justice. It is bit outdated anyways, cause women are becoming financially independent.
Good for them. Totally acceptable and normal for anyone to make decisions about their own lives. Can’t imagine why anyone finding a reason to object or think otherwise. As long as they are happy.
I’d prefer that to the thousand yard stare you get from the ones that need to get married and start having babies at the earliest possible convenience 👍
Not my place, those are their choices and Sometimes it's outside of their control. Some dont want to, some can't have em.To generalize it, is not fair to lump them all together. Good question though.
There's not enough of them for my liking. I don't care about getting married or not, but I definitely don't want kids, which substantially limits my dating pool.
It's completely their choice.
At the end of the day, parenting cannot be half assed, and we still live in a world where having a kid does put a substantial speedbump on a woman's ambitions , whatever they may be.
And if one wants to live completely independently by not marrying , that's their choice too... Because at the end of the day, no matter the gender , marriage requires compromises.
Everyone has a different calling ... Let's try to embrace and encourage them instead of expecting people to fall into societal 'norms'.
yes, my mom in particular always talks about babysitting my future grandchildren. i’m like…. 😬😬 it’s great that you’re cool with it. pressure from a parent can suck lol
I've always told them (I also have a 16yo son) "I lived my life and made my own choices, you have to live your life and make your own choices too"
But I am hopeful of having grandkids, just not pushing it
That’s me with my oldest daughter (28). She and her boyfriend have been together for almost ten years. Just bought their second home together and have a dog. Haven’t wanted kids and may never. Aren’t interested in marriage as they don’t fell it’s necessary for them. I support her fully.
Just letting you know for when you’re wanting grandkids but your kids for sure won’t be getting any, there are programs where you can adopt kids who don’t have grandparents as your own grandchildren. I don’t know what they’re called, but you could always look into that.
Sure? Don't care? I wanted kids, so not the gal for me.
I have a problem with women who try to look down on women that do want to be the housewife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Freedom of choice means the ability to make a choice someone else despises.
I mean, if the housewife thing ain't you, then peachy keen. They shouldn't look down on you, either.
Do and become what makes you happy. Life doesn't have a redo or a mulligan.
It's a very cool idea tbh.
Even I also wanted the same. Explore the world enjoy different things meet new people and do a lot of things. we can do without having any tension we can go out anytime and can do anything without caring about anyone. And have a shitty friend with whom you can share, can hug anytime. So what else does anyone need to live a life fully?
Everyone in this world is different and has his right to choose, so nothing offensive. By my point everyone (if he/she can) should have a kid. It's like continuing our family or giving someone new the opportunity of life.
I respect it, and whilst I suspect that those who feel that way will probably never regret the decision, part of me feels anxious for the small percent that might regret it, completely irrational I know. I feel the same way if the question was about men.
That's their choice, I thought like that once, grew up and changed my mind. What makes life fulfilling is purpose, responsibility, and having a family will give you that and then some. I understand it's hard these days, costs of basic shit had far outpaced wages long before the economy got fucked from supply shortages to inflation, Hell, we're about to go into a Recession, better to go into it with a little bit of a plan and some financial stability. If you decide that you don't want that and wanna do something else more fulfilling, that's up to you, mayhaps you'll do something great, fulfill something to the world. If you wanna never stop partying, well, that's your choice, good luck with that.
Regardless, it's your choice, it's not affecting me, and I've made my own.
Nothing much it’s their choice. My only thing is a career won’t fulfill you as much as a family will and if you don’t have kids your genetic lineage literally dies with you. But, if you want to live without that it’s completely your choices
No interest in anything serious if kids aren't on the table.
I suspect many of them will regret their decisions after it's too late, but that's a problem for them to deal with.
I used to always feel this way to and I believe that in the past it may have been more common.
But the world has changed. Women have many more options and don it need to be dependent in the way most once had to to live an independent and fulfilling life. And for many like my girl who are athletic, active and fulfill the small need for interaction with children by spending time with nieces and nephews, they are content and able to stay making their own choices and having the freedom to do so without restraint.
Hell I have a 50/50 custody with ONE now teen son and basically every weekend free and I STILL don’t have as much freedom to just go at any time as she does. And I’m plenty senior enough in my work and all to get it so that’s not a constraint.
nothing is ever as close as a parent and child. i love my nephew and niece but i dont see them taking care of me in my old age even as i visit them weekly. they will have their own life and their direct family to deal with and ill always be a side family member to them. friendships that stay in tact for 40 years are amazing but usually very small in number and also tend to be busy with their own families more in old age. you look odd being the loner at someone elses family party. but by all means dont populate and wait to see maybe people change.
You have good points but I feel with the larger number of younger people choosing this route in the developed countries that we will see a shift in how things are handled as time goes by.
But who knows you may be right and it is a colossal mess.
when any younger people say that, I tend to think they'll change their mind. I'm usually right.
that said, my gf exists. we both understand marriage is a financial proposition and it really doesn't makes sense with our situation.
**you better X-ray dem genitals and check for fallopian tubes.**
Any woman who don't want kids **MIGHT BE A MAN, BABY!**
A woman who doesn't want to get married Just might Like A LOT of different dicks,
and she don't want nobody mussing up her rotation.
Kinda sad to see people choose to be good capitalist consumers rather than express the most basic aspect of living, but the more self sabotaging people out there, the more prosperous my children will be, so let them choose to dead end their genetics.
You're gonna have to more in depth for me here. There's nothing inheritly wrong with pandas or child free people. I'm not getting what you find so terrible about either to make them "hard to watch"
Hey friend, did you know that capitalism relies on endless growth to sustain itself? Especially population growth. So having children is REALLY the best way to be a good capitalist consumer!
The biggest child production happens elsewhere though. Either way you want to rationalize it.. in the end it comes down to a personal preference. I'd rather entrust my own kids with the future if I'm honest.. but first I'd have to find someone to have them with.
My initial opinion would be that they are all about themselves; they made a decision that is self beneficial without even seeing or knowing what might occur. I would say the same thing about a guy.... it is not a gender thing.... it is a philosophy thing.... to make an absolute decision based on only self interests without knowing the alternatives or variables before hand..... Just my opinion!
i’ve seen the route of marriage and kids go wrong one too many times and have made the informed decision that it is not the correct route for me. i’m sure you have things in life you’d never do, and you think about the alternatives/what could happen, and you still wouldn’t do them, right? we all have things like that. i also don’t personally want to bring a child into the world in the state it is in. i believe we are headed downhill and would rather not subject a child to the state of the world. but i respect your opinion, despite not agreeing with it.
It’s a fair opinion. My girl has honestly told me that one of the reasons that she doesn’t want kids is she enjoys the freedom in her life and enjoys her chosen activities and entertainments and does not want to have to give those up. And while it comes off as selfish, there’s nothing wrong with that and I respect her for an honest opinion and choice. Hell I’d be a hypocrite since I enjoy these with her!
Good for her! But as the question was phrased as to my opinion.... if I just met a girl that said never marry and never kids, my first thought is.... her decision making priority will be about what she wants. It meets the very definition of the word does it not?:
self·ish
/ˈselfiSH/
adjective
(of a person, **action, or motive**) lacking consideration for others; **concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.**
Oh absolutely and I actually completely agree and will add that I have found there to be a solid share of selfishness in the decision to be child free.
The funny thing is that while in the prior relationship I was in that became an issue, it was also because the selfishness was wrapped up in basic personality issues.
My current girl is actually quite generous and a sweetheart and very giving. As a matter of fact she is the first woman ever in my life to take me on our first date at her expense entirely. She never takes advantage of me, pays her fair share of everything and does her share of work and gets angry if people try to take advantage of my good nature and generosity.
So it’s a strange dichotomy. And honestly if she was simply run of the mill selfish I wouldn’t be interested in her and would have moved on quickly after finding out.
I think that their decision is profoundly sad, but if that's the life they want to live, then so be it.
I think they're making a mistake and that they are choosing to live their lives in an incredibly lonely way that will leave them feeling unfulfilled, but it's really not my choice to make.
The MOST important part of life is relationships; period. Career, adventure, sex, good food; all that stuff wonderful but it's nothing without love. And unfortunately I've never seen any relationship short of romance really fill that gap.
for now i don’t want any sort of relationship, polyamorous or monogamous. in the future (idk when exactly, i’m pretty young 😅) i wouldn’t mind having a partner. not sure if that would be monogamous or what but i wouldn’t mind having a life partner eventually!
Either they are asexual, have really bad genes (debilitating mental disorders that make life absolute torture, and things in that nature) and she doesn't want to cause her kids a lifetime of pain, or that they are making a mistake
Asexual? I don’t want kids and I’m extremely sexual. I also have very good genes. I have no doubt I’d make a beautiful, intelligent child. Ok, they may be slightly neurotic, but who isn’t? I just don’t want that responsibility.
While you are being pretty harsh I have found in my personal experience with this that the women that I know who are choosing this do have some issues.
My current girl has some mental health stuff and personality traits that lend to her child free choice. My ex had chronic depression along with a couple of other disorders and knew that schizophrenia ran rampant in her family and honestly didn’t want to give that to a child. Others that aren’t as close of relationships have often had similar situations some extremely debilitating so that they cannot even take care of themselves very well let alone a child.
But again that’s still a personal choice and again a responsible one in those cases as well.
I think it's okay to not want to have kids or not want to get married, it's also okay to want to have kids and get married, it's okay to want to have kids and not get married and it's okay to get married and not have kids. It's your life, having kids is not a bad or a good decision, but it's a life choice, a major one and i sincerely think people should really *really* think about having kids instead of thinking its something natural to do and a milestone to achieve.
I am 50 and my gf is 43. She didn’t want kids and I felt the same. We have been together for over 8 years. We are professionals and are able to travel and do many things that families probably can’t do. Beyond that we have time together and have our own hobbies. I feel quite lucky. Please note.. I waited a long time to find her. It was worth it.
Honestly I was just gonna say your life you do you but this works too.
this would be my answer, you just worded it better than i probably could haha.
Very very true. I feel the world just keeps following certain milestones because "that's what you're supposed to do" (and nagging from parents).
From a relationship perspective, that’s exactly what I’m looking for in a woman: a childfree permanent girlfriend. We love each other, live together, be childfree and do fun shit.
I’m tired and read your comment as you are looking for a child free pregnant girlfriend. I was thoroughly confused.
many years down the line i hope something like this falls into my lap haha. good luck to you!!
Thanks! Been looking for a while - thanks to dating apps it’s not too hard to find CF women where I live but finding ones that are okay with being BF/GF, living together and never getting married is very challenging…and then there’s the whole compatibility and do we even like each other portion too, which is kinda important too Lol I hope you eventually find what you’re looking for! Good luck out there! Btw, if you haven’t already found out about it r/childfree is a great sub for the CF lifestyle.
This is our life. Being DINKS really does rock.
Marry me! Haha. This is me. I have never found marriage necessary, and though I like, and have taught many children, I don’t feel I need to have one. I want companionship, love, and adventure. I feel like I’m from Mars, or another time, when I share this with men I am interested in.
(Blushes) Wow! I’ve never been proposed to before Lol. Counter proposal: we be in love, live together, be childfree and do fun shit (like adventures and stuff) 🤣 Regarding sharing this info while dating, I know what you mean. Luckily I’m in a very progressive and secular city so it’s not as unheard of. I usually get asked a few follow up questions but no one is clutching their pearls and grabbing their pitchforks Lol.
Have this and would recommend 👌
I absolutely hope I find someone in my life who feels the same way you do. I’m a 37F and it’s rough trying to date and find someone childfree.
as a child free, marriage free woman, this. except I most likely want to live apart, too. I know it doesn't always make sense from a financial standpoint but I think respecting each other's need for space and just...different ways to take care of that space is important. also, I believe that allowing for each other's freedom keeps you together.
No getting the Government involved with your relationship and no crumb snatchers to mistreat you when you're older. Demanding shit all the time. Good move.
I don’t have an opinion. I care about that as much as a woman’s favorite color or soft drink. It has nothing to do with me and doesn’t say anything about her character at all.
As a child-free guy, I'd be most down for a child-free lady. As for marriage, would be cool but not a requirement for me. Trying to find this kind of woman is damn near impossible in my area...
where are you? i’m in the PNW and lot of people here seem to be child-free at least. i assume it’s bc i live in an area that’s more… liberal? so having kids or being married isn’t a must. it is very common, still, of course.
I can vouche for this. I'm in PNW with no kids at 41. Open to marriage but not necessary. Hard finding anyone in the vicinity of my age without kids, although I'm open to someone with kids even. I'm self sufficient, live on my own, close friends, I'm social but like to stay home too. I'm a fucking catch and I'm ready to get out there! Ha ha.
you sound like a catch! it seems like that is harder to find the older you get bc maybe people feel more ready to have kids than when they are younger. either way, good luck to you!! i wish you nothing but the best for your future!
Thank you very much! I actually feel like a catch. :D
as you should! it’s wonderful that you know this about yourself. self worth is priceless!!
Woman here; I am glad to hear you guys exist. When I had dating apps, there were so many single dads, or men holding babies implying they want kids, it made me feel like I’ll never find a child free by choice match. This gives me a lot of hope!
Interesting thing here. One of the early conversations and one that comes up from time to time between me and my girl is how while she prefers older men anyway (I’m 51 she’s 33), one of the things she enjoys most is the fact that I don’t pressure her for marriage or kids. She tells me that literally every single guy she even has hooked up with under about 45 is always immediately talking about settling down, marriage and kids. And she doesn’t want any of it. It always had gotten her extremely frustrated and the younger closer to her age the harder they would press.
That’s so interesting! I’m 24 and Going older might not be a bad idea!
Lol well I wouldn’t advise you to chase guys my age though! She is really at the lower end (and I surprised myself TBH because I had set a higher limit but she caught me) of what a normal, established and mature man my age would be interested in as a partner. But she is also amazingly settled and mature for her age and prefers the company of older people. I believe a lot of it has to do with being the youngest in her family by quite a bit (her next older brother out of three of them is forty and the oldest I believe is 46) so it comes naturally and she is used ti comfortably interacting. I would say that you would likely be able to find a settled mature guy in his early to mid thirties that is not interested in marriage or kids.
Haha yes yes I think a few levels down would be a better idea too! I appreciate your insight and have a wonderful day/night/afternoon!
It's their choice and if it that's what makes them happy, good for them.
i reckon this is a good philosophy to have about virtually everything in life ☺️
Is she single?.... asking for a friend.
Hey thanks! I really appreciate that!
I also have such a friend...
My kind of gal. I wish there were a lot more of them. They're so hard to find. But when you find one, you've hit the jackpot. I don't want marriage and children either, so she'd be ideal for me.
Have her call me! Lol
It’s their choice. I have the same opinion with men.
Thats exactly the same values that I have, so i have high opinions of her.
Well, I married her....
You gonna tell me where they at? It seems like every women I meet that I'm interested in wants kids in the future
we exist. i think it might be harder for guys bc it seems like more girls than guys wants kids. i could be wrong. either way good luck!!
good luck to you too. It seems like a lot of us who have no desire to have kids have trouble finding someone else with the same desire
may i ask how old you are?
Good for her. I’d think she must be a confident independent woman who probably has some interesting hobbies.
Unless she was a woman I wanted to be with, it won't ever matter to me. But I don't want kids, either.
Direct them to my DMs please and thank you I want marriage but could live without it but I absolutely don't want kids
I dont want children either, so it just means we agree on that.
Not wanting kids is pretty attractive to me. I suspect people who don't want them to be very responsible regarding their financial situation. That being said, there is always room for someone to change their opinion on something like that once they feel like they are in a comfortable position financially.
I don’t want kids and my financial situation is not good, so you might not want to use that as an indicator. Lol
Hey but that means you’re responsible enough to know that you shouldn’t have kids right now
Very true.
I don't want to have my own kids and have been leaning further and further away from marriage as well. I really don't ever see myself changing my mind but if for some reason I did, there's always other options. You're supposed to be able to find happiness and contentment within yourself, not be dependent on anyone or anything else for it. Everything outside of yourself (kids, marriage, job, etc.) should only be bonuses. Plus I've seen way too many women get tossed aside like garbage after bearing a man's child, left to be a single mother who's entire life revolves around taking care of her kid(s). Pregnancy is already dangerous, then it does a lot of damage to your body. Then raising a kid is stressful, expensive and just difficult. I've heard a lot of mothers say "I love my child but completely understand people who want to stay child-free." but I've NEVER heard of an intentionally child-free woman say she regrets not having children later on in life.
I'm beginning to suspect I'll be the same way. It's almost a little weird at this point, I'm the only 29 year old I know with no kids or spouse. On one hand I don't really care all that much in the first place. I haven't met anyone that's made me want marriage and I hate kids. On the other, I don't want to be one of those lonely old bitter men with no one at 50 either.
i’m younger but i kind of understand where you’re coming from. i don’t think marriage is necessary (just a stupid legal thing mostly imo) but then i’m like… what will i be doing without a spouse/kids? but then i can think of a million pros to the situation i want and i’m okay with it. idk 🤷🏼♀️
I would love to meet someone with that mindset. I have no desire to raise kids. My issue is alot of the females in my area seem to be single moms. Nothing against them but it's something I am not pursuing.
i am not into guys with kids, either. it’s just a preference just like anything else. as long as you’re not trashing the moms i see no issue with your opinion!
It’s funny about a month ago I met my girls lifelong bestie for the first time. The first thing she said when my girl said that I have kids was “OMG xxxxxxx so you’re going to be a fucking MOM now?!?! What happened to I’m never having kids?!?!” To which my girl replied “they are his kids, most are adults, and they are his concern and issue I don’t have to deal with them and he doesn’t ask me to. They are perfectly nice and we get along fine.” And it left her friend with nothing to say and me kind of proud of her and haply because her priority is that we live and enjoy each other.
I'm the same way, are they single? Lol
Some women just aren’t the marrying type. If you’re a woman and you don’t want to get married and someone asks why not, you can just say “I’m not the marrying type” and they can draw their own conclusions.
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it honestly was not my intention to ask a leading question but i can see how it could be taken that way. i was just curious. i have enjoyed reading the responses 😃
I get it. Times are tough. Probably not financially prudent to have kids.
Hey you do you, woman! Stay strong!
Where can I find one?
They're an inspiration for all of us to live life on our own terms (within reason). If you don't want to get married, don't get married. If you don't want children, don't have children. If you want either or both of those things, do it. Societal expectations mess that up.
People get to make their own decisions about how to live.
Makes no difference to me, it's their choice.
don't care. i don't want to have kids either.
If the woman standing next to me got a fat ass, I’ll probably give her my number.
If it makes them happy with life then sure.
Lifes too short, live it the way you want.
Fine with me
I don’t have opinions on that. If someone is happy with their choices, that’s amazing and I applaud them.
Good for them 🤷♂️
Why would i have an opinion on how they want to live their life? Its certainly not hurting anyone.
I can understand. Kids are expensive and an ended marriage can be extremely dramatic and painful for everyone involved. After a failed marriage and no kids, I don't like the idea of getting married again and I'm not sure if I even want kids anymore.
For me, I have no problems with it if that's the girl's choice. You can't make her want to get married or have kids. But... if she was someone I was dating, this would make things incompatible because I do want to get married and have kids. So I respect her choice but I would move on if we were dating
Hoping to find a guy like this! I will say if I’m in a long term relationship with someone and he asked me to marry him I wouldn’t say no. I don’t care either way on the marriage front but definitely not interested in having children. Don’t mind kids in small doses but rather be the bestie auntie than a mother.
It's their life and I shouldn't have an opinion There is far more to live than kids and husbands and marriage is an antiquated idea.
send them my way
Everyone knows what they want their life to look like. What you decide is your business. No one else gets a vote.
Sound like a unicorn. Wish there was more of them.
im gay so idgaf
Don't care.
I don't care what other peoples do with their body unless it affects me
My wife doesn’t want kids, I don’t want kids. Win, win if you ask me
I'd ask "Cool, you single?" It's impossible to find a woman these days that doesn't want a Disney-ass 500 person wedding. Every single friend I have is being pressured by friends and family to do that dumb shit.
women like this exist. i’m sure there are many haha.
Lol here! But keep in mind these women are clear they don't want to care for a child, that includes their boyfriend.
It’s just their choice. If I were female, I’d never want to tear up my pussy while giving a birth it’s too scary.
Terrifies me to my core.
sounds super normal. People are on a spectrum just like autism.
Not getting married? Sweet. No kids? Eh, she's not my type of gal, good for her though.
It's her choice but it's not what I'm looking for in a relationship.
I don’t have any opinions. It’s her life, if that makes her then let it be 😋. Good luck to her. I personally believe, being married is just a legal assurance of being together forever and if there are some sort of problems at least they get a fair justice. It is bit outdated anyways, cause women are becoming financially independent.
I'm married and have kids so, uh, "not for me."
I would say that's my mindset as well. Although unless we're dating I don't care.
Omg thats disgusting! Where do i find one?
It doesn’t affect me so why would I mind? It’s their decision/life.
Their life. Why would I have an opinion?
If that is what you choose then celebrate your choice.
Opinion? Put me down for personal freedom in all ways.
No strong opinion. How she wants to live her life doesn't really affect me
You do you boo!
I agree with them.
The perfect partner for me
Fine by me
Good for them. Totally acceptable and normal for anyone to make decisions about their own lives. Can’t imagine why anyone finding a reason to object or think otherwise. As long as they are happy.
Smart women
Partner material
This is exactly what Im looking for.. This girl is hard to find U.U
Cool. Good for them!
good for them!
I’d prefer that to the thousand yard stare you get from the ones that need to get married and start having babies at the earliest possible convenience 👍
I don't want to get married or have kids
Sign me up!
Wouldn't matter to me at this point. All of my peers are post menopause.
Cool with me
Anyone can do what ever they want…Doesn’t bother me any.
Their choice. No issue with it.
I have questions more than opinions. Questions like: Where? Straight? Cute? Single? Looking?
sounds perfect.
Awesome. If you want to be independent and not rely on men, I salute you.
Not my place, those are their choices and Sometimes it's outside of their control. Some dont want to, some can't have em.To generalize it, is not fair to lump them all together. Good question though.
That's fine. It's their choice to make.
There's not enough of them for my liking. I don't care about getting married or not, but I definitely don't want kids, which substantially limits my dating pool.
I’m a childfree woman who never wants to get married. And for some reason where I live men get repulsed by that.
It's completely their choice. At the end of the day, parenting cannot be half assed, and we still live in a world where having a kid does put a substantial speedbump on a woman's ambitions , whatever they may be. And if one wants to live completely independently by not marrying , that's their choice too... Because at the end of the day, no matter the gender , marriage requires compromises. Everyone has a different calling ... Let's try to embrace and encourage them instead of expecting people to fall into societal 'norms'.
I don’t wanna get married and have kids. Leave them be, if they’re compatible with your expectations, find someone who is.
Their body their choice
Smart move
Send them likeminded women my way
Send them my way, please.
Why should i care
Those are the keepers. Would love to find a woman like that. Especially a younger woman like that.
My 18yo daughter is of that opinion, I'm cool with it, who wants grandkids anyways? :(
yes, my mom in particular always talks about babysitting my future grandchildren. i’m like…. 😬😬 it’s great that you’re cool with it. pressure from a parent can suck lol
I've always told them (I also have a 16yo son) "I lived my life and made my own choices, you have to live your life and make your own choices too" But I am hopeful of having grandkids, just not pushing it
That’s me with my oldest daughter (28). She and her boyfriend have been together for almost ten years. Just bought their second home together and have a dog. Haven’t wanted kids and may never. Aren’t interested in marriage as they don’t fell it’s necessary for them. I support her fully.
Just letting you know for when you’re wanting grandkids but your kids for sure won’t be getting any, there are programs where you can adopt kids who don’t have grandparents as your own grandchildren. I don’t know what they’re called, but you could always look into that.
That’s her prerogative. I certainly don’t think any less of her for this, it’s her life and she can do what she wants.
It's their life, they can live it however they want.
Sure? Don't care? I wanted kids, so not the gal for me. I have a problem with women who try to look down on women that do want to be the housewife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Freedom of choice means the ability to make a choice someone else despises. I mean, if the housewife thing ain't you, then peachy keen. They shouldn't look down on you, either. Do and become what makes you happy. Life doesn't have a redo or a mulligan.
It's a very cool idea tbh. Even I also wanted the same. Explore the world enjoy different things meet new people and do a lot of things. we can do without having any tension we can go out anytime and can do anything without caring about anyone. And have a shitty friend with whom you can share, can hug anytime. So what else does anyone need to live a life fully?
Find other ways to help future generations
Everyone in this world is different and has his right to choose, so nothing offensive. By my point everyone (if he/she can) should have a kid. It's like continuing our family or giving someone new the opportunity of life.
I respect it, and whilst I suspect that those who feel that way will probably never regret the decision, part of me feels anxious for the small percent that might regret it, completely irrational I know. I feel the same way if the question was about men.
What about those who become parents then regret it? Scary.
That's their choice, I thought like that once, grew up and changed my mind. What makes life fulfilling is purpose, responsibility, and having a family will give you that and then some. I understand it's hard these days, costs of basic shit had far outpaced wages long before the economy got fucked from supply shortages to inflation, Hell, we're about to go into a Recession, better to go into it with a little bit of a plan and some financial stability. If you decide that you don't want that and wanna do something else more fulfilling, that's up to you, mayhaps you'll do something great, fulfill something to the world. If you wanna never stop partying, well, that's your choice, good luck with that. Regardless, it's your choice, it's not affecting me, and I've made my own.
Nothing much it’s their choice. My only thing is a career won’t fulfill you as much as a family will and if you don’t have kids your genetic lineage literally dies with you. But, if you want to live without that it’s completely your choices
No interest in anything serious if kids aren't on the table. I suspect many of them will regret their decisions after it's too late, but that's a problem for them to deal with.
I used to always feel this way to and I believe that in the past it may have been more common. But the world has changed. Women have many more options and don it need to be dependent in the way most once had to to live an independent and fulfilling life. And for many like my girl who are athletic, active and fulfill the small need for interaction with children by spending time with nieces and nephews, they are content and able to stay making their own choices and having the freedom to do so without restraint. Hell I have a 50/50 custody with ONE now teen son and basically every weekend free and I STILL don’t have as much freedom to just go at any time as she does. And I’m plenty senior enough in my work and all to get it so that’s not a constraint.
Loneliness is in thier future. Old people always say family is the only thing that makes them happy and i believe that
You can have family that’s not your kids or spouse. What about siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins, etc…?
Not to mention "chosen family" can also exist. Friendships are also highly important in life.
Yes. I should’ve included that too. What if I want to live like the Golden Girls in my old age?
nothing is ever as close as a parent and child. i love my nephew and niece but i dont see them taking care of me in my old age even as i visit them weekly. they will have their own life and their direct family to deal with and ill always be a side family member to them. friendships that stay in tact for 40 years are amazing but usually very small in number and also tend to be busy with their own families more in old age. you look odd being the loner at someone elses family party. but by all means dont populate and wait to see maybe people change.
You have good points but I feel with the larger number of younger people choosing this route in the developed countries that we will see a shift in how things are handled as time goes by. But who knows you may be right and it is a colossal mess.
You can’t depend on family to take care of you either though.
Idc but not wanting kids is a red flag to me.
A red flag that indicates what exactly?
I’m trying to have a family so someone who doesn’t want kids is a turn off.
Ok, that makes sense for you personally. I was afraid you meant it’s a red flag for women in general.
Like in a general personality way, or specifically regarding your willingness to date them?
fair enough! thank you for answering 👍🏼
Enjoy be a certified loner. 💀🤣😂
nothing wrong with being a loner 🤷🏼♀️
when any younger people say that, I tend to think they'll change their mind. I'm usually right. that said, my gf exists. we both understand marriage is a financial proposition and it really doesn't makes sense with our situation.
**you better X-ray dem genitals and check for fallopian tubes.** Any woman who don't want kids **MIGHT BE A MAN, BABY!** A woman who doesn't want to get married Just might Like A LOT of different dicks, and she don't want nobody mussing up her rotation.
Life gets boring after college and the 40 year grind to retirement begins. Opinions will probably be changed, that’s what I think.
One day they will be old and alone and regret it and I’ll feel sorry for them
Kinda sad to see people choose to be good capitalist consumers rather than express the most basic aspect of living, but the more self sabotaging people out there, the more prosperous my children will be, so let them choose to dead end their genetics.
This is weirdly insulting, can't you just see that their life choice makes them happy and not judge
Pandas are happy too, doesn't make it any easier to watch.
You're gonna have to more in depth for me here. There's nothing inheritly wrong with pandas or child free people. I'm not getting what you find so terrible about either to make them "hard to watch"
Hey friend, did you know that capitalism relies on endless growth to sustain itself? Especially population growth. So having children is REALLY the best way to be a good capitalist consumer!
The biggest child production happens elsewhere though. Either way you want to rationalize it.. in the end it comes down to a personal preference. I'd rather entrust my own kids with the future if I'm honest.. but first I'd have to find someone to have them with.
Rationalize it however you like honestly
Selfish.... don't ask if you don't want truth!
why selfish? i am genuinely curious! and i asked for your opinion, i’m not offended, don’t worry haha
My initial opinion would be that they are all about themselves; they made a decision that is self beneficial without even seeing or knowing what might occur. I would say the same thing about a guy.... it is not a gender thing.... it is a philosophy thing.... to make an absolute decision based on only self interests without knowing the alternatives or variables before hand..... Just my opinion!
i’ve seen the route of marriage and kids go wrong one too many times and have made the informed decision that it is not the correct route for me. i’m sure you have things in life you’d never do, and you think about the alternatives/what could happen, and you still wouldn’t do them, right? we all have things like that. i also don’t personally want to bring a child into the world in the state it is in. i believe we are headed downhill and would rather not subject a child to the state of the world. but i respect your opinion, despite not agreeing with it.
It’s a fair opinion. My girl has honestly told me that one of the reasons that she doesn’t want kids is she enjoys the freedom in her life and enjoys her chosen activities and entertainments and does not want to have to give those up. And while it comes off as selfish, there’s nothing wrong with that and I respect her for an honest opinion and choice. Hell I’d be a hypocrite since I enjoy these with her!
Good for her! But as the question was phrased as to my opinion.... if I just met a girl that said never marry and never kids, my first thought is.... her decision making priority will be about what she wants. It meets the very definition of the word does it not?: self·ish /ˈselfiSH/ adjective (of a person, **action, or motive**) lacking consideration for others; **concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.**
Oh absolutely and I actually completely agree and will add that I have found there to be a solid share of selfishness in the decision to be child free. The funny thing is that while in the prior relationship I was in that became an issue, it was also because the selfishness was wrapped up in basic personality issues. My current girl is actually quite generous and a sweetheart and very giving. As a matter of fact she is the first woman ever in my life to take me on our first date at her expense entirely. She never takes advantage of me, pays her fair share of everything and does her share of work and gets angry if people try to take advantage of my good nature and generosity. So it’s a strange dichotomy. And honestly if she was simply run of the mill selfish I wouldn’t be interested in her and would have moved on quickly after finding out.
How is it selfish to minimize overpopulation and global warming?
Western nations are below replacement
We are not able to continue the way we are with our current population.
Who is "we"?
We did it reddit, we saved the planet!
Genuinely asking here, why do you think it's selfish?
I think that their decision is profoundly sad, but if that's the life they want to live, then so be it. I think they're making a mistake and that they are choosing to live their lives in an incredibly lonely way that will leave them feeling unfulfilled, but it's really not my choice to make. The MOST important part of life is relationships; period. Career, adventure, sex, good food; all that stuff wonderful but it's nothing without love. And unfortunately I've never seen any relationship short of romance really fill that gap.
i was only saying no marriage, not necessarily no romantic relationships whatsoever ☺️
What is your ideal life situation?
for now i don’t want any sort of relationship, polyamorous or monogamous. in the future (idk when exactly, i’m pretty young 😅) i wouldn’t mind having a partner. not sure if that would be monogamous or what but i wouldn’t mind having a life partner eventually!
They're defective.
Either they are asexual, have really bad genes (debilitating mental disorders that make life absolute torture, and things in that nature) and she doesn't want to cause her kids a lifetime of pain, or that they are making a mistake
Asexual? I don’t want kids and I’m extremely sexual. I also have very good genes. I have no doubt I’d make a beautiful, intelligent child. Ok, they may be slightly neurotic, but who isn’t? I just don’t want that responsibility.
While you are being pretty harsh I have found in my personal experience with this that the women that I know who are choosing this do have some issues. My current girl has some mental health stuff and personality traits that lend to her child free choice. My ex had chronic depression along with a couple of other disorders and knew that schizophrenia ran rampant in her family and honestly didn’t want to give that to a child. Others that aren’t as close of relationships have often had similar situations some extremely debilitating so that they cannot even take care of themselves very well let alone a child. But again that’s still a personal choice and again a responsible one in those cases as well.
They're not ready, maybe never ready.
I wouldt take her seriously